Ash and JD, they're the hosts talking real
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Step your headphones, get ready to groove
Ash and JD will make your mood improve
The banter that's witty and no-soul sly
They've kept us, we's electric, you can't deny
It's when we normally do a record on Frodo
Get over it as early as possible, get it done
Get it edited, get it into your ear holes as quick as possible
But yeah, it was just a long Frodo
It sounds like an old cocktail
A long Frodo
You know that would de-stress you after a hard week as well
Yeah, it'd have to be strong
Strong cocktail
I'm gonna have to make that now
A long Frodo
If it isn't mine already, I'm gonna have to figure out what to put in it
I'll finish the...
I'll finish it by the jet and then I'll do a little think about going it
So that's how crap of a day it was, I had no time for anything
I only had three cans of beer as well, little brew dogs
I just didn't have enough time to get fucking rat-assed
Yeah, long Frodo cocktail
I reckon that you can't have tequila when you...
It's gotta be like a...
Now it's gotta be something that you want
You know, just as you finish
Because no one really wants tequila, mate
Let's just put that out there
It's gotta be like a bourbon whiskey sort of based one
I'm gonna have to do a little bit of research into this
I can't put it all up there
Because again, all I'm thinking is like a long garden
I'll steal something but I can't just copy everything out of that
I'm gonna figure something out for that
That was a good one, mate
It will be a good one
I can almost taste something in my mouth
Because you've got no idea what you want it to taste like
Yeah, I'm just gonna have to figure out what's gonna go into it ingredient-wise
When I think about it, I see it being blue for some reason
So your one in...
So yeah, in your head, yours is a colourful
So it makes you feel better on the eyes before you've even had a sip there
That's it
Oh yeah, I suppose I could go down that route
Yeah, I've got a lot to think about on this one then
Yeah, I'll try and have that done next week for you
Because obviously we all know that this is the most professional podcast going out there
for the prep work
Yeah, speaking of prep work
We are gonna get straight into it because James, you know, God bless him
Unfortunately, there's no Liverpool for him to enjoy slash get upset over at the moment
Are we good...
A week, wait, is it too far to say that James is our number one fan?
I'd say it's most likely that he is
He's been reliable every week
He's been consistent, good lad
Yeah, since he's started, I don't think he's missed a beat to be fair
Yeah, as much as he claims to dislike me and manu-notted
I think he wants to be my best friend really
I do have an idea of what he looks like
You remember when we went to Liverpool?
Yeah
He's definitely wrecking the one-tens
Oh yeah, but that's...
Well, no, because he's not a real scouse though
He's a... I've already made this clear, he's a wolf
I think he's real, mate
I think he's disgusted to come now
He over-scouses his match
He has that haircut, you know where it's like a one on the sides
but like the fringe near from the slings to the side
Do you know how everyone was rocking them ones?
Yeah
What's that name called? Montrex?
Montrex or something like that
It's like, you'd see... it's like...
Obviously, for all the listeners, I'm well into my fashion
to know exactly what actually is on there
I'm probably pronouncing you wrong because I've never worn you up for all the piece of it yet
but they have some nice gear
I probably know if I saw the logo
Definitely wrecking that
Yeah, no white socks because the scouse don't wear white socks
It depends on what... it looks like he's one of those ones
where he's trying to have the match his t-shirt, you know what I mean?
Yeah
And then, yeah, half the time wearing a little ball top as well
Got a ref, mate?
Probably has got a seller on the back
All trends, might be a big trend, man
Oh, have you seen our seller's had a hair transplant?
You seen how he shaved off all his afro?
You're not seeing this?
No, no
Right, yeah, so we shaved off...
Hopefully James has seen this because I'd imagine he'd be crawling around there
Yeah, no, mate, to be fair, I think it was like two or three days
Two or three days after the season he posted a picture of his hair
Pretty much all clipped up, but like it was a far-eyed picture, like in the shade
So you couldn't really see what was going on
Okay
And then he pulled out another picture over the weekend
I mean, you know his hairline was like the McDonald's arches of the Orkney
Yeah, yeah
He's dead straight now, so he's definitely went to Turkey
Fair play to him
Yeah, if you've got all the money, you're gonna do it, aren't you?
Yeah, I mean, and I don't want to...
Yeah, he's definitely...
Obviously, because one of the things is for people like me and you
If he was ever to go bald, we'd have to wait until we were pretty much completely bald
So you don't have to have another one
Do you know what I mean?
Because obviously if you have your corners done, then your back starts going
You have to have the back done
Yeah
I get a picture actually, mate
But...
Yeah, I'd be interested to see this
Sorry, but...
Outside of the forehead hairline, he did have a good hair, didn't he?
Yeah, yeah
So...
Yeah, I mean, that would have been a couple of years worth of growth, to be fair
So that's commitment to the look, that is, if he's got to...
Right, so...
Yeah, having to shave it all off
I'm showing JD now the first picture you put out
So we put that one out one or two, three days after the seizure
For starters, I don't get why he's got to be flexing half his shirt off
Just to flash the abs
Because Joe, the only rule, if you have a six pack, you don't wear a t-shirt
It's just...
When you have a six pack, if I had a six pack, mate, like that
Never wear a t-shirt
Never ever
See, now again, this is where we differ
Because even if I did have a six pack
Or if I was, you know, more trim-locked than I used to be back in the heyday
Then I'd still be wearing t-shirts
And it's because I'd burn
So obviously he's not going to burn
Well, he can still burn, but obviously that picture is...
It's not on his...
He's got his shirt half on
There was no reason to have it half on, no, that's what I...
Yeah, no, but...
I don't care
I get it because if I had a six pack, mate, as it says
Especially if we have a life today when it's nice
And then I'm showing Joe the other picture now
Can you see his hair lines, your massive trains
This is like one of these newer ones, like on the left there
See, so that...
Because with the turkey hair transplants that we know of
It takes quite a while to grow through, doesn't it?
So what...
So this would...
So don't forget now, this would be about a month
If I zoom in, you can kind of see the shine of it
Yeah, so, yeah, I feel like he's...
So really about six weeks
So you'll see it in probably more drastic, probably the start of the season
Because he's shredded again after two months, doesn't he?
So, but now it looks good, straight hair, live
There's probably some more expensive procedure that he's had done
And that's why it's looking...
Because it's a bit of a struggle to see the shading
I mean, you can see it as you've just zoomed in
But it's...
There's this one as well where you can see the corners a little bit
Yeah, but still, it's, you know
If it wasn't for how good phones are and that these days
You wouldn't be able to just notice that finally with the naked eye, really
But then if you look at it, that's what it used to look like
Yeah, yeah, so it is a massive deal
Yeah, yeah, yeah
So, one would assume that after the season finished, striker Turkey or whatever
Yeah, he's gone straight on it
The main guy, straight on it
Buzz did that, straight on
Was going on six weeks at the end of the season
Probably that six weeks since last game
Mai, wasn't it?
Mai, Mai Ferly, wasn't it?
Was it Mai Ferly?
No, no
Because it was in Mai though
Because the Champions League, because the FA Cup was after that
That's what I'm thinking because the FA Cup
The FA Cup, Man United played in the FA Cup
That was a week after, wasn't it?
Yeah
So, yeah, that's it
For Liverpool, it's probably about six weeks now
Yeah, yeah
Yeah, but now he's looking good
No, a fair play
Let's say if you can afford to do it
Then, I mean, as we've said enough times
We'd be heading over to Turkey ourselves and getting it done
But yeah, I'm surprised that's nothing that's popped up on more feed
Over the top
Yeah, but let's go back to the question
Sorry, we weren't after that
Back to James
So, nothing Liverpool or Man United this week from him
It's just, I can tell that he's strewed on this as well
Because this was after England's terrible performance
It was probably one of, if not the worst
Sorry, go on, let's get to the question first, sorry
Yeah, well, it's not a question
It's a statement
This is, how can Safegate even be allowed to manage a team?
And then he's put, this man hugs his face when he sneezes
Yeah
Now, before I send this email
Because this was the next day from James, to be fair
Watching the game against Denmark
I'm just annoyed and I'm sitting there and I'm thinking
Safegate's meal deal
Now, this is something that we've brought up enough times ourselves
You've got to get the best items, the most expensive ones for your meal deal
He's definitely having more of a ham sandwich and a fucking ready-sorted
It's exactly what I thought
Playing ham sandwich, water and ready-sorted crisps
He looks, I've seen all things though
Now, I didn't know this was a thing
But I'm sitting there, obviously
A lot of other people are sitting there doing the same thing
And, I mean, the game itself was atrocious
We can't deny any of that
I think it's the worst game I've watched England play in
For as long as I can remember, the Denmark one
The man at the time of the ball got given away
Yeah, it's literally what everyone has said
All the presenters on Talksport and everything
It's the worst professional, like, a tournament game that he has managed
Also, did you see that Ryan Rooney said
What I said about taking Jordan Henderson
Did you see that?
I didn't do that
He says he would have took Jordan Henderson just for the voice
Which is why it's been missing
Now, all he said, I would have took Jordan Henderson
Just to...
No, I'm not saying I'm a superstar coach
If you think that, that's fine
You know, I can't help that
You need to get on Football Manager for your tactics
Yeah, I would never play
I mean, this...
This 4-2-3-1 system
I've always had it
Just go 4-3-3 and just go flat out
Yeah
Just keep your...
Do the spine, keep your wingers high and wide
Fucking...
And let's go
If you concede, you concede
But then you're backing yourself to score
Now...
With England, I watched every single game
Up until their first game
And every game I enjoyed
Now, the first game England played
Was it Slovenia the first one or Slovakia was the first?
Slovenia, yeah
Yeah
The shittiest game of the tournament
And then I watched a few more games
Good, good
And then the Denmark-England games
The worst game of the tournament
I'm sick of what...
England it was anyway
For Denmark, it wasn't too bad for them
Yeah, yeah, from Denmark
Yeah, they played OK
Don't get me wrong
I'm not saying England played that bad
Denmark made England play that bad
I mean, but take away all the...
How many missed raised passes was in that game?
I can't remember seeing a top level game
With that lower standard of passive
Yeah, the amount of...
Because there's no structure
I don't want to sound like a character
But there's no structure
There's no pattern to the style of play
There's no guidance from Southgate
You know, Bellingham, he said
Just wasn't in the game
I feel like a lot of these players
Have gone to the tournament and thought
Why am I here under this name?
Yeah
This is...
With all the people that got around me
We should be doing better
But we've got to listen to this number
I feel like a top manager
Would have made changes at half time
I feel like people like Jose Mourinho
Pepo, Jürgen Klopp
These are the kind of managers
That half time would have changed it
And everyone has their opinion
On what they would have done
But I just feel like a top manager
Would have changed things at half time
It's clearly not working
Let's not give you 10 more minutes
Because it's not going to work
And let's just change it now
Because they wouldn't expect...
The last thing Denmark would expect
Is half time
England's made two or three changes
Probably...
I'm not going to go into what I would have done
But obviously everyone would have had similar ideas
All that needed was one substitution
And then change a couple of positions around
That's all that was needed
Now you've mentioned it
I was saying
Because literally what I would have done
I would have took Trent off
Right
I would have put Gordon on
Dropped Jude Bellingham
Into the defensive role
Next to...
Next to Royce
Pushed Broden in the middle
As a number 10
Gordon on the left
And I think, literally
I think probably millions of people
For the same thing
Because you was just lacking directness
Then you've got Saka on one side
Gordon on the other side
Pace to Hurricane
Every time you come deep
You're getting fucking fined mate
Yeah
Just stay the fuck up there
Put Southgate's lousy getting game
On the pitch
No one else
Giving no meaning to Portons deep there
I've seen Hurricane play for Brighton
I mean, he just dropped deep but not that deep
Because he doesn't hit so
Yeah, and he couldn't say
Because he's got runners off him
And now he's staying high and wide
But yeah
Terrible performance
I have seen some of these Southgate things
Like if Garth Southgate wears high-vista going to the left
Yeah
Garth Southgate stops a red line
Grand Theft Auto
Yeah, well I've got a good view
That I've saved myself
So if Southgate had a spoon
He would use his hands to eat
If Southgate was the Flash
He would walk
Southgate puts his phone on low power mode at 99%
Garth Southgate is the type of guy to give milk to a cow
Yeah, red light of GTA
I've got that one
So if Garth Southgate is the type of guy to listen to his favourite song at the low volume
Garth Southgate wears swimming goggles to chop onions
It's just you get what they're trying to say
Like he's too defensive minded
Yeah, just too negative
He's too negative
Yeah, I've still got a couple more
Southgate would take the minus offer on the chase
He'd fuck him up wouldn't he?
He'd fuck you up 100%
And it would be a big bonus offer as well
Or 20 grand or something
Yeah, like there's 30 grand
He's gone four
They're up to 30 grand
Minus 20
Yeah, dude, that's two grand each
Yeah, and he'd have to laugh at it
Because there's four on the chase
And I said no, they're all mine
Right, he'd get kicked out anyway
Wears a helmet on his peloton
That was probably the best one
He wears shim pads playing FIFA
And this is probably my favourite one
Makes a shandy with alcohol free beer
So yeah, there's just been a lot of bouts after bouts
To be fair, people just terrorising him
For the last game now
I mean, I've never even, Pundits are coming out like Garry and Nico
And I questioned him that
For the next game he has to do
If he comes up with that formation again
You know, it's just game over
Because even if we get through the next game
We're going to knock that
It's just, I mean, something could have changed
It's obviously, it's not working
It hasn't worked
I'm not saying it's Trenton McDonald's fault
Because I feel like it's not just him
And I did see that Garry Neville was saying that
For Arsenal Declan Rice has been pushed further forward
To the midfield free left position
Not the holding midfielder role
That's left to Jadrinho
I always think he was a bit further forward
But then to the guard of safe
That's come up and saying
Because we're missing Calvin Phillips
I mean, right, Calvin Phillips is Calvin Phillips
He's not Tony Cruz, you get what I'm saying?
Yeah
He's replaceable
Like, he's a good player
Like, I'd love him to have him at Birmingham
I know they're a shinko club now
But any decent team would, you know
He's a decent player but he's not
He's not a player that after England draw with Denmark
You go, we're missing Calvin Phillips
Yeah, he just shows how
As we say, he's a good player but he's not top class
No, no
Because Man City volume barely played him
He goes to West Ham, barely plays
And again, not saying that West Ham are above Calvin Phillips
But, you know, he just shows just from West Ham alone
That he's replaceable
Because West Ham played fine without him in the midfield
Fair enough, he had a few injuries
So he couldn't play every game
But it's just a stupid excuse to come out with
There's no need for it
He just needs to admit that he was wrong
But I was saying this before the game
So in the morning, I was literally like
He's going to play for a draw today
Because he knows he just needs a draw
He just needs four points and he's guaranteed to go through
And especially when I was listening to Slovenia and Serbia
And because of that finishing as the draw
I just knew straight away that he's not going to put in
A pre-match speech saying to the lads
We're going out there
We're going to battle him or anything
It's just going to be, yeah
Just stick to what I'm telling you and we'll get the results
But the thing for me is he substitutes the wrong as well
Like he puts Bowen on instead of Gordon or Karl Palmer
Which I like Bowen
But you've used the same instruction twice now
Put him on in the first game
Put him on the second game
Just give these lads a chance
What's the point of bringing them like
Another thing I thought
Why don't you just go 4-2
And just have Ali Watkins be part of your game
Because if he's going to drop D
At least that's why
But as I said
So go into a 4-4-2
Which is old school English tactics
That could work
Because then he can still have Trent in the midfield on the roads
Karl Walker behind you
Yeah and even if Harry Kane did drop D
Yeah he's playing more as a 4-4-1 essentially there
Yeah
And yeah, Bowen
But I still wouldn't put him on the left really though
But that would work better than this system that he's trying to use
I suppose what I'm trying to say is
We all can see stuff that we would do as not managers
To change a game
Because it was so easy to see what needs to be changed
And for him not to do it
That's why everyone's just like
Fuck you know
That's why even pundits are coming out and saying shit
Because even everyone could see
There's not one person I hope
That did not sit there and go
This needs to happen
And so going on to the pundits
This is what annoys me with the logs of Linnecker and Shearer and all that
These were the people that were hoiping him up
Four or five weeks ago
Going to win the game
Going to win the tournament sorry
Well we've ordered 10-hog interviews with 2-shall and all that
You know these were all the people saying that Manny United should get Southgate
As the next manager
And it just goes to show that they knew that he was a moppie
But because they don't like Manny United
They'd happily have him in charge
Because they know how bad it would be
I think Southgate has managed himself out of a decent job after England
Just from that performance
If he would have left after the World Cup
Like he was gonna but obviously he sold an extension
He would have got at least
Yeah he would have I don't know
He probably could have got a Newcastle job or something
When they got their new owners and started to change things around
Might have even been able to have got the Bryton job or something
Yeah he's definitely managed himself out of a good job though now tactically
Because I can't see him doing anything now
I mean yeah I really can't see where he goes next either
I can't see a club that will benefit from his
I don't know what he can provide for anyone
He's the highest paid manager at the Euros
Yeah
So you wouldn't think he'd have to work again
Because obviously he's on like five million plus a year
And he has been for five years
So easy maths plus whatever he's earned before that managing playing
So he's you know
Yeah he's definitely set up
But I think he just all I can see him doing now is just be like a pundit on the TV
Yeah yeah that's all I can see
He'll go back to ITV
Yeah because anyone any club that is going to be brave enough
Slash stupid to take him on as their next manager it's a real real risk
I'll tell you a club that would have Birmingham
Uh Southgate Birmingham
Birmingham City are the type of club now
That would get to the Premier League
Sack the manager that's got him to the Premier League
Go Southgate
Fucking that's the corner club Birmingham
Yeah but then again I still can't see you know Tom Brady being that stupid
To allow that to happen really
Because surely Tom Brady
Well even though he's not a football man
They've done it with Usy
So Usy was the manager before Brian Rooney pretty much got him round the guy there
But again that's a new one I think though isn't it
The thing that no better abstract away and the one I get the name in
It was more of a new person
Yeah because obviously he did a little bit
Was it DC you know did he manage?
DC you know what he didn't do too well with them
Again that's just the MLS really isn't it
Darby County done decent with them
But I like Brian Rooney's pundit
I really wish he would stick to punditry
Because he's just so open honest
And a bit like Roikie and you know like that like that he doesn't beat around the bush
And I really like one of the things I do like about the punditry is Tess Fabregas
Now I've only seen him a couple of times
No because I haven't had enough time to watch as much of the games as the one or two
But yeah so the one thing I've always looked about football is tactics
So Monday night football used to get him probably on seven o'clock
Watch Gary and fucking Jamie speak about the football
And I used to fucking love it
More so Gary Neville I used to like what he had to say more than the Jamie character
I don't know why
Because you couldn't understand most of the stuff he said that's what
Yeah I always feel like he'd always just try to go against Gary Neville at the start
Just to go against him
Again do you think that's the producers so you can get them to half argue essentially
Yeah I think it is half that and I think football is just about opinions isn't it
So look what me and you chatted about the last half now 20 minutes
Someone's blocked now South God's spot on you know what I mean
Someone
And I'd love to find someone like that
Yeah but you get what I'm saying now it's just it's opinions isn't it football
But yeah I used to love watching all that
So love hearing Tess Fabregas talk
It'd be better than Anne Shearer, Mika Richards
Yeah Mika it's just for the personalities isn't it just because he's bubbly and a bit loud
I hate a fucking what's her name
Is it Casey? Is her name Casey Starnett?
Used to play for Blues Women the female pundit for ITV
I figured her name's Casey Starnett
Again I probably know the place
Yeah she does Sky Sports Monday night as well sometimes fucking kills me
It's just literally mate get me on there I'll talk about football more than that honestly
Yeah so there's some pundits sorry Jay on the boulder
I see the punditry and I won't watch the boulder because like no
Yeah or just stab it on mute
For five live ones and listen to the Dublin talk about it
God I don't know what's worse then
But there was two of them again I don't know the name but it was two women
Standing there peach sod before one of the games the other day
And they weren't even talking about the game for like three minutes
Yeah I can't remember the name
The old England top goal scorer I think that one
I know we're on there and then yeah I know who you're on about mate
I know who you're on about I remember seeing it
Literally I listened to it for 30 seconds I was like no
And I did just turn the volume down and they were just standing there and the laughing
And I'm like yeah they're still not talking about football they're still not talking about it
And I had to wait until it went off to turn the volume up
I'll give credit though there is a one female commentator that I really like compared to you
There's a few female commentary commentators
One of them I can't stand I don't know the names but there's one
That you know what she talks about football and it's like Gellie
And the other two and there's one on ITV and then there's one on the other team
And there's one on BBC One I can't stand
Yeah I can't remember I'll have to get a name she's really
I actually I watched it and she just wanted to change it
Yeah there is quite a few though where they've just tried to force
Just because they were semi-decent women football players
They've tried to force them into punditry just to kind of like try and make it more relevant
And there's no need for it the women's games come on leaps and bounds over the last few years
There's no need to keep trying to force these things in
But I mean just two little brummies on a podcast isn't really going to change that easy
That's why we need all you listeners to share this
Like share download subscribe do all that jazz and get us more popular
So we can be the voice of the people and start changing all these negative producers
Trying to you know downgrade our TV enjoyments with their personal gains
Yeah I mean for another football podcast we spoke about football quality the last few weeks
But that's obviously with the euros
Yeah it's going to be an equitable review
And I do think we talk football better than Tom Garry you know that geezer
Tom Garry I can't I can't believe his name is still being mentioned
But that's just reminding me someone that you've never logged I mean no one's ever really logged
But it's finally over Mr Beaver
What's happened?
He's booking bankrupt now
Is he really?
Yeah again I've just been seeing the TikTok stream like the videos of his live stream
So I don't know when it was obviously within the last couple of days
He was doing a live stream he green screened showing his Monzo bank account behind him
Overdraft was 750 and he was on like 747 something like that
He's arguing with his missus he owes her like five grand
She's paid for everything this and that log and yeah so he's broke
She's kicking him out and you could see for like 10 seconds because he's just quiet
He's trying to force a tear out to try and make it all emotional
To be devil's advocate here I would say he's probably got another account with money in it
And it's just for storyline
It should do yes
Yeah because I feel like half the stuff on TikTok now is just stories like people make up stuff for
content
Yeah well with the way that they were arguing she was you know shouting to him
You've been too arrogant you've become big headed
And he was like yeah but I've been relevant for six months
He says yes six months what you're going to do now you've got nothing to do
You're not going to be able to do anything
He's like yeah that's that's right TikTok's ruined my life I can't even get a normal job
And it sounds made up that does it sounds like
Well I don't think he even had a job beforehand so he's not going to be able to
He's got no longevity in him like when he runs over he runs over really
Yeah but yeah he was definitely trying to force out a tear
And he says that TikTok's ruined his life and there was more context to it more things being said
But I was just laughing thinking actually he's going to look
Well hopefully that is the end of him because he is a twat
Yeah
He just come across as quite quite pretty like he seemed like he does seem arrogant
Yeah definitely because he started to get a bit of a want to
That's what he's got
There's a fair few women out there that does that as well
Yeah that's true
Yeah not my only sister
Right so we shall get onto more of the correspondence now anyway so
We've got a couple of questions again right and we will get on to it once I can
Re-organise this properly because for some reason I'm just not looking at it right
So there was a question from Lauren
Why can men be happy with a simple life but women can't?
Okay
Now to me it's just the basic thing that we can just sit there in silence
And not have to do anything to just be having a good time
Right so for me I'm going to ask you this question
If you won the lottery tomorrow obviously you'd go a bit more at first
But after you've won a bit more what would you want to do with your money?
So after I've had a massive blowout of a holiday
Like you've had six months of just yeah
Yeah just enjoying things and that then I mean I've done it for a hour actually
Said it on the podcast before but I would genuinely just buy like old derelict barns or you know run down buildings
And just do them all in my own time own way and then just set them up
Yeah so yeah just big properties but more as so you know you see these people that like to
Upsell furniture or something you know get an old car and bring it back to its old glory days
It's that kind of thing but just with houses
Yeah see so what I'm trying to go see if you met if I won your millions
I would go to Wyoming by a ranch just with a nice view
You know far close enough to the town that's just got all the amenities that you want
And I'll just live happy for the rest of my life
So what I'm trying to say I feel like men's life is just easier because this one I'm just saying
Men all men care about as long as I have a nice haircut when they want a haircut
Fine but with girls it has to be nails lashes hair
I think eyelashes can cost you know while your sister does all that stuff
Yeah I mean 100 quid am I being
I think that's kind of like an average rose for it because there's all sorts of different
old lashes Russian ones and this and that
And then there's nails which is 50 quid for liquid hair hair extension so eyebrows
Yeah so I feel like the question is men are happy because it's just they don't need a lot
They just need pretty much just the basics tv computer or tv watch and think but
I don't know about women but it's just it's just a lot of work
There's always something going on in the woman's mind I would feel that it's it's 100 mile an hour
That's why a lot of youths can have a bit of an altercation and they'll bring up something from
six years ago that you don't even remember because they've never stopped thinking about it
Right
And yet we can just as you say just sit there watch whatever crap on the tv or
you know even just flick through nonsense on the phone and not not be bothered not have a care in
the world and that's fine just sit there do nothing where there's always something that's
got to be done not with every woman but they're always thinking about what's next what can I do
now what can I do tomorrow what can I do next week where we can just go with the flow
Oh right yeah there's nothing planned don't worry about it's fine
I do feel like with the generation blow out as it is more instagram so you've got to be shown that
you're living your best life you know it's just so myself gotta be more better you don't see that
it's all paid on that client is it called client where you pay in three or four month repayments
yeah so um yeah so I think it just men just don't need a lot I know I don't need it I know you
don't need a lot how nice that's when we spoke badly before like I said it but if I was doing
low register nice not massive house big house nice view ranch few animals like him a dog out there
I don't know as he's lying there snoring his head off I think I think things change as you get older
as well though because when we were younger we did want to have the better clothes yeah but always
trying to keep up with the fresh trim and you know watches and a lot of bits of jewelry and whatever
not really trying to flex but wanting to go for the effort to make yourself feel good yeah and then
you know come sort of like mid-20s if so I don't know why I'm bothering I don't need to do this
doing wearing the nicest of clothes and everything isn't really making me happy
yeah doing nothing is making me happy like we've said before well we want to go out and enjoy a good
beer and that but we don't want to be standing up we want to be sitting down we want to be comfortable
I think yeah I think that's really I think just make it to the point where they just know what
they like yeah don't like and they're going to start in that line as well again like what we
touched on last week you know how uh men don't really make new friends after a certain age
because you just you you already got your friends you don't need anymore and you just ask me what
you got yeah um we don't like to complicate things yeah um so hopefully uh that's helped you out
Lauren um and thanks for your email yeah thanks for that uh send your emails in at realtorqueandpod.gmail.com
um some of them are whatsapps from the hotline 07 470 488 096 links are always in the description
as well so send all your messages in um and then uh kind of a similar question but it is different
um from Jess do you have any boys will be boys moments like when you see that these videos of
boy women be longer than men uh so the first ones that come to mind with me is just when we was um
younger I mean we'd still do it now is just going on like little kids arcade games and stuff ones
that we'd always play as a kid yeah um and then the other scad of that is uh I mean many years ago
now me and one of the other lads um he bought a taser uh obviously electric taser um and we just
spent hours I mean there was a few beers that had been flowing but we just spent hours just
zapping ourselves zapping each other uh one of the other lads come around um Mr Green and he
literally trolled it once and then he was just too scared wouldn't touch it again and yeah it's just
so uh the song just coming to me then the one that was always we've got jackass uh if you're
gonna be dumb you gotta be tough and I think that literally just sums up men really isn't it yeah
well I've got a story with that taser and he's boys being boys so so uh we had a lot a little
gal from the last one I thought I can't remember what he was for but anyway that taser uh army lads
taser one of the other lads golly and saps one of the other lads and he was like what the
fuck was that now at this point everyone's like it so anyway they go into this was at my mom's
and this is before we moved into the house here we had like the garage which was converted into
the bedroom so then army lads saw that he had the taser then three of them walked into the bedroom
and then they saw the other lads in the bedroom and then they saw the other lads in the bedroom
saps the other lad again he bagged him army lad took his finger and started throwing his finger
up the other lads bum while he's trying to hold it like knocking his dick and shot and he's just
standing there going ah at this point my mom and dad walk out the front and they had a solid window
just seeing this lad get fingered up his bum or being tasered like that's uh yeah I mean that
I mean is there any more boys being boys and that I mean men doing dumb stuff any um and he's but
this this lad like the one that got tasered now he's like fingered up his bum well got fingered up
his bum yeah after ball he would as you walk past him it grabbed your dick but I never get that
the one thing he'd done I tell you this story so he used to shower with his boxes on but so
boxes not even swimming chalks no no so like after football right he used to shower with his boxes on
and uh I never used to have a shower because you just if anyone that's been in football knows it's
just fucking it's like 20 man off and like two showers whatever but he used to shower with his
boxes on everything but like when one of the lads used to have a shower there was this big I can't
remember the lads that was tall uh black ears and like he went he went to me and the other
lad before looking at me and I looked at him and I saw his fucking cock so we've all looked up
and the gays just rubbing babe like standing like in the middle of the changing room
just rubbing body lotion I had a six packs of these tablets yeah yeah rubbing body lotion all
in his body so he was the black man that was rubbing lotion yeah that's that's why they have
better skin than most of us because they're always rubbing the coconut butter and all that around
them like well yeah so and then again that wasn't gay though was he he didn't look in a gay way no
there's a few stories like we was like we spoke off the podcast really something about this was
that Tom was all in a pineapple and um we took a shortcut for whatever reason but for some reason
there was a big alleyway dugout and outside the jump was probably about I can't remember it now
it was a it was a big enough job it was and it was pretty deep yeah and it was all about you jump
across or it's like a technique detour back to like where he was going and anyone that's been
inside for us knows our hot valleys so just jumped it wouldn't do it now fucking you wouldn't even
risk doing that now because you'd be fine you broke your leg mate yeah yeah I think and like you were
saying like with the arcade board you just jump on the little cars where you put a 50 right there
I can't say I'm surprised but it was yeah a little because they weren't bump cars no it was just
little kids cars like going around the little circle yeah yeah I remember us all just
you know it was Skegness or Yama one or two yeah definitely Yama was that one was yeah just like all
five of us on them yeah just just doing circles and uh just that was obviously our best law for that point
yeah and then you know just even just going and playing but all in the cage and that's just
simple so I know I'm kind of going back to the the last question now but um yeah just just simple
things like that just yeah it was uh good old days really yeah I suppose there could be more
uh boys being boys things that we'll probably think of if we ever do uh try and remember to bring them
up on the part we will so I'll just say so the the lad that had his finger uh the next day didn't
even question it he just says he just put in the whatsapp group why is my bum so sore
he definitely forgot either that or he went back home and probably finished himself off yeah um
um enjoyed it so much didn't that uh but yeah moving on uh sorry I will just quickly check no
that was that that was that yeah um yeah we've done James's so yeah moving on I mean to be fair
James already had a one of these for Southgate wasn't it
wasn't it so uh yeah we shall move on to Ashley's favorite feature it is um so
there uh was one which to be fair uh I think it was it should have been on last week but
I don't know I don't know what I forgot it but well yeah it was this one so it was from Jess and uh
Jess says
random people just smiling at me whilst walking around weird
that it's more in the morning when everyone wants to go morning yeah no this is kind of like an
old-fashioned thing really because back in the day before we was even around that was just
the common thing everyone would walk around just smiling hello morning how you do tip of the hat
to you sir all that kind of thing um and so I'll get it still now while I'm walking around I'll get
older generation hello morning and I'll say it back because I'm forlorn but I feel like these days
you can't look at anyone about being seen as a creep um I'd like to just imagine that it's just
old people just still trying to do the politeness just hello morning or anything to Jess but it
could be men trying to creep on her that's probably why she's getting a bit weirded out
so yeah I think uh just need to yeah uh try not to make too much eye contact because that's when
you're going to get the small end as well and wear headphones yeah but yeah you still get my
headphones are big and people still like to try and talk to me and because that cracks me up but
I have to look I can see that they're talking to me and I'm like hang on a sec and then because I
after time I'm having to swap the lead like the dog lead not any other lead uh into the other hand
and then like press pause on the rotate phone pull it back sorry didn't hear any of that and then
they'll start talking again so I'll get the hint and I'll try and pull it back over my hair and
they're still trying to talk but yeah a lot of the time it is the older generation I think anything
normally past the it normally happens when you're on a dog walk you get the head down nod morning
yeah morning that's all you need to do I think anything with a smile like morning yeah we're
smiling it's yeah he's a bit creepy it's just big dead straight face head down morning yeah
that's it someone said it to me yesterday I've got morning big man
a little compliment I didn't forget about that obviously I'm thinking about it now
but as you know he wasn't talking to the dog no no I might he was talking to me and was it a man
yeah he was a he was a man's man as well so I think to call me big man no I had a spring in my spare
yeah well maybe he did as well that's probably uh thought of you as big man
yeah right so I feel like we're just reversing the order now so that was Jesse's one and we've got
one from Lauren she says why people don't uh no sorry when people don't park in the bay straight
or straight to north stresses me out you know yes yes it's those ones that are in the bay straight
so it's like right then you have to right so if you haven't got a passenger then you have to dictate
which way you drive in and then you're like how am I going to get back into their car without
hitting my car like with the door prang in the door or something so yeah most of the time I just
if I see car parking I am parking next to them then see I love it it cracks me up but I love it
if when they've uh when they've parked in a stupid angle because I always reverse park in mine anyway
so yeah if I end up that there are more left I'll reverse in and if especially if they're overhanging
on the bay that I'm parking in a touch as well yeah I'll reverse park in so close just to wind
them up because they can ding the van yeah so for me what I tend to do now because of this situation
is look for space because all I mind you know like when you go to a parking lot I don't mind
parking quite far away and walking just for the sake that no one's gonna prank my car like that
I mean it's whether depends on where I'll park because if it's raining I'll try and get as close
as I can just so I'm not gonna get soaked too much no I did not mind mate I would rather get a little
bit wet because you're gonna go wet unless you're gonna go if it's raining you're gonna get wet
right yeah so for me I like parking completely not I'm not saying like the end of the car park but
yeah in the middle yeah you know where you see like full everyone by the shops it's
forward and as you come out medium and then just that right medium there where
you know no one's gonna park one next year where you got an empty parking space either side
reverse that in fucking spot on my yeah but yeah that I'd never get that the worst ones is sometimes
when people park over two lines yeah yes oh my god I've seen any other day uh when swimming
and I he parked literally took up four spaces because he he wasn't he parked over four spaces
so do you know what I mean Jaylo yeah yeah it was literally his wheels was in four different spots
yeah look madness I don't get it but some people just have no awareness for stuff like that and
it's ridiculous it's scary when you see a car parked fucked up and the car's ballad you're like
fuck that yeah no yeah literally like the front's all scratched up no where am I going near that car
it's the worst one when you park and you see a car parked up next to yours fucked up your
fuck yeah but I did a few years ago um so it was sort of like towards the end of the covid
restrictions or the motto still been on a little bit I can't remember exactly but I remember
using the voice car to go shopping and I've done a quick lap around got the food
that's what comes out there was a car that pulled into the bay next to me and that scratched the car
obviously if it was the van wouldn't have been bothered but it's the voice car so I'm annoyed
and I'm standing there for about 10 minutes no sign of anyone coming out yet so I'm rummaging
through and I found like a bit of cardboard like a packaging or something managed to find a pen in
there as well and I've started to go down the details so her car details what they've done
what they've done and I've took pictures and that as well and uh look I was going to leave it on the
front uh window so they could uh get in touch and just as I finished I've seen this old boy
walking comes to the car I was like you're all right mate you've hit the car and he was completely
oblivious he thought no I haven't and I said you have because it was a gray car that missed out at
the time and his was um like a burgundy color and you could see the way that the paint had
chipped onto it a little bit you could see the scratch marks and you could see how we all just
all lined up with his car in it yeah because he somehow managed to park across the front
yeah because I again I've reversed into the bay so he's sort of parked over in front a little bit
and you can see the scratch order that's on his car anyway and um so he started to panic a little
bit I was like look I just want your details so we can get it sorted for the insurance
um he was visiting family from Scotland he was only there for a couple of days and so
I think he was playing out a little bit he was like no I don't need this I'm only here to see
family for a few days I was like yeah none of us need this mate but you've done what you've done
I've waited for you so I just need the details so took all the details down that I needed to
so it was probably after a finished shop you best part of half an hour at this point now
that I've waited you know food's getting warm in the car and that so got back you think the
missus was fucking bothered no just because it was the company car and then because I had some tea
cup which for anyone that doesn't know it's just sort of like a creamy liquid yeah you just said
the massage is done and yeah it'll clean up a little bit so I've ended up having to do that
and it's gotten me well you know the majority oh yeah I thought well I did above waiting then
I could guarantee if I didn't get the details it would have been an argument yeah well old
drivers are among the worst drivers now I've said this for a while and I think we all spoke about
old drivers should not allowed to drive between the hours of so like half seven in the morning
to ten o'clock they shouldn't be able to drive you know when everyone's getting to work yeah then
from half ten they should be able to drive it's like two o'clock so they're not in the way of the
school run and then after the work so yeah and so they can go to the post office yeah and they've
got all that to get it all fucking done yeah I was always saying oh boy when was it last weekend
last weekend so shops around Bollermoms you park up you got a bar in front of you know you know
you just turn in reversing no dramas it comes in a pose you're too away look as he's turned he must
have put the car in neutral so he's put his foot down and then like literally almost bounced off
the bar but in his head look he got up nothing look that's normal yeah didn't look didn't see
how close his car was to the bar on there like fucking out like he almost took the bar with him
but nothing got up got his newspaper that's how old he was and fucking got back in and reversed it
oh my god mate so you know when you reverse and you've got a car next to you you've got to
reverse straight and then you start turning because you turn straight away the more you're
gonna kick the end of their car yeah yeah so you get halfway past halfway that's gonna start
maneuvering the steering wheel he started turning went straight turned again look fucking on mate
just fucking do us a fire about yeah walked the shots from that one yeah fucking out
well it's just reminded me years ago we went to uh like the science resort for uh the jag
and uh i don't know we was probably getting a game or something but i remember as we were about to
leave this old woman in a red car like a metro or something hit me so not me but hit the van
and we were both sort of looking shocked that really just happened i remember us throwing a lot
of chaser around the car park and i'm beeping and flashing and that it just flipped completely
yeah didn't have a clue what had happened oh god that was funny that was but uh yeah i mean
we could moan about this all about hours and hours that could be a whole episode right so
uh the amount of literally the amount of stuff that i have seen over the years is horrendous um
but uh yeah thanks for that uh and now we've got joe who says
people standing around chatting in shops i'm here to get food get out of the way barrel
yeah no it's now since since they put barrel as well i'm guessing it's an old person
they're not this happened to me yesterday so me in the shop the shopkeeper knows someone
in front of me so i'm standing with my stuff you know ready to get served yeah and these two old
people are chatting for which she's done she's paid yeah just move along move along and let me
pay and carry on talking you don't need to talk to me and then just scan my island while you're
talking talk over me i don't care no no no no oh and they're in the way when they're doing the
fucking noise and you've got the trolley not excuse me yeah and like what you're saying when
they're talking when they've already paid and that and then you get the awkward look like they're
looking at you as if you're inconvenienced yeah no i'll just i'm ready to go let's just get these
transactions done talking god but yeah i have it too because i hate shopping in general and that's
why i mean again i suppose this is a bit of a man thing because my missus anytime food shopping
or whatever once i go up and down every aisle like nothing's changed it's fair enough every now and
again they will reorganize the shelves in azda and yeah you might need to sort of refamiliarize with
the new layer but if you want tea bags go to the tea aisle get your tea bags get your milk
so the big ones have i know i already don't have what i did how did you do it does not matter
that's not where i think he's anywhere off before don't get me started with these signs now
i remember again years ago all i needed was bin bags and you know they used to be called black
bags uh but you've got a big pc now haven't you so i'm looking at the the overhead in the azda and
it's got like cleaning products whatever else bin liners but it actually said black bags this was
how long ago when it didn't matter um so i'm walking down and i can see cleaning stuff tin four
whatever and i'm not there's no black bags there so i'll go along the next one nothing there so i'll
come back to the first one that says the black bags up and down and i'm looking i'm not there's
no there's no bin bags whatsoever there's no black bags there's no white bags there's no green refuse
sacks or anything so i've gone to the worker who's stacking whatever on the shelf so excuse me
can tell me where the black bags are please and they've looked up at the side and they're like
there they are i'm like they're not so they've ended up realizing that they're not on that aisle
they've took me to the other one that i didn't walk down and they're like there they are i was
all not being funny but even you looked up at the side and thought they were on this one so why
hasn't that been moved to the oil that it's actually on oh i don't know had no excuse just
yeah just knew that someone hasn't done the job properly and i was so pissed off
there's just no need no it's not hard if you move your things around just change
change it we're shocked and just want to get in get your shit get out no talking no gassing
oh i went to uh b&m yesterday all needed from there was Stanley blades you know just to keep the
stockpile high um you know for cutting materials and that not for people and um
i mean it's my own fault i shouldn't go on a saturday middle of the day because
i own bargains b&m's and that they're always before i go there i go morning mate get in when it opens
get out yeah i had a busy morning i couldn't go first thing so literally it's the first time
i've ever seen anyone doing this as well but there was qi down like in front of the the cloak
like the unopened tills down towards like the painting corner where they have the tops of
paint and i'm standing there and i'm seeing people come down to oils and join the other queues
i'm like why are we giving like this when people are still merging onto the other two queues as
normal and again they've got six tills three of them open it's busy yeah and there's like one of
the other workers women are just standing there talking to one that's on the till and so no forget
your conversation go and fucking open another till and uh so i've ended up like walking past this queue
and again because it cracks me up if i've got a few items and that and i see someone that's just
got one thing i'm like just go ahead your 30 seconds i'm going to be a couple minutes at this
checkout or you go on and people are seeing me just with these little pakistani bays no no one's
doing it so i've ended up walking past the queue to join on to the middle one of these three open
tills now people are staring at me i'm like one please say something so i can tell you something
i can tell you something no one said anything and then i've realized i've joined the rung here the
woman at the front so there was two people in front of me woman at the front who was already
getting served she must have been supplying a homeless shelter or something because there was
uh like a whole trolley full of pillows a load like another trolley full of quilts blankets all
sorts and she's ended up paying all in cash as well there was like 300 pounds worth of 10
pound notes a few 20s on that and even the woman on the till was looking as if to say i can't
believe you've done this to me and i mean she wasn't the proudest of girls on the till and she
took ages counting and so yeah she's probably not used to doing that kind of cash done well most of
them are and i don't these days are they because everyone's just playing card so she's finally done
it and again the people in front of me they've got a basket full of everything and i know they've
already looked at me and seen that i've just got this and i made a point then so once they put it
all on and they've squeezed it together because the b&m uh got the conveyor belt a tiny there's no
point in being there yeah so as i've squeezed it all on they fair enough into all little things
but it was still like 20 items so they put the little uh checker there to say next customer
and i've slapped it down on there to make the point like use a fucking added to my fucking
shit morning no all i wanted to do was buy these and fucking go to asda you've just prolonged it
so what should have been in and out of b&m two minutes stanley bade sound go to asda little
food shop done took me over an hour and it's just not wrong not wrong but i think we're gonna end
it there anyway it's been over an hour there is a couple more hey uh what's wrong we use but
it's sunday we've got stuff to do yeah maybe we should start off next week with uh with the
remain well with the remaining ones and any new ones well we've all got intentions we will do
but there's probably gonna be something else that starts us off so we'll uh we'll deal with next
week when we get to it hopefully we'll be out uh as normal on saturday um but this i'm gonna get it
but this i'm gonna get it straight out to you uh as quick as possible right now yeah um but yeah as
always uh sending your messages emails whatsapps whatever yeah thank you for everyone has a message
name i don't thank you for those that we haven't read out for doing so we will get to them next
week as jody said well yeah thank you for all the correspondence where we see yeah and uh yeah just
keep doing it just keep the like and sharing download and all that you know there's a lot of
yous that don't download or that do download but aren't subscribed and following and all that just
you know just hit the little button just just click it takes no effort whatsoever you know
just get it done you know be a be a good person don't be one of these saviors yeah
that is he subscribed to everyone and
right so hope he's enjoyed and uh we're not a football podcast but you know with these
what it is sometimes that's it and uh yeah enjoy your week we'll see you there peace
right
so
grab your headphones ready to groove ash and jd will make your mood improve
so