Hello everyone and welcome back to this week's episode of the Real Talking Podcast with your
host Ash and Jay D.
First, we do have to apologize.
The stars just didn't along this week.
I had a whole week of work really.
Friday, just, it's when we normally do a record on Friday, get over as early as possible,
get it done, get it edited, get it into your ear holes as quick as possible.
Well, yeah, it was just long for all day.
Sounds like an old cocktail.
A long for all day.
You know that would de-stress you after a hard week as well.
Yeah, it'd have to be strong.
Strong cocktail.
I'm gonna have to make that now.
I'm gonna have to...
A long for all day.
If it isn't mine already, I'm gonna have to figure out what to put in it.
I'll finish it by the jet and then I'll do a little think about going in.
So yeah, by the time I'd finished it, it was just too late to get over and get the rest
of the day, the activities done, you know, walking the dog, cooking food and all that.
And I ended up doing none of the three usual things on a Friday.
No podcast, no walking the dog and no cooking food.
The missus done the dog walk and we all have a takeaway.
So that's how crap of a day it was.
I had no time for anything.
Only had three cans of beer as well.
Little brew dogs.
I just didn't have enough time to get fucking rat arsed.
Long for all that cocktail.
I reckon that you can't have tequila when you...
It's got to be like a...
No, it's got to be something that you want, you know, just as you finish because no one
really wants tequila, mate.
Let's just put that out there.
It's got to be like a bourbon whiskey sort of based one.
Oh yeah.
I'm going to have to do a little bit of research into this.
I can't put it up up there.
Because again, yeah, all I'm thinking is like a long garden or something, but I can't just
copy everything out of that.
I'm going to figure something out for that.
That's a good one, mate.
It will be a good one.
I can almost taste something in my mouth.
Because you've got no idea of what you want it to taste like.
I'm just going to have to figure out what's going to go into it ingredient wise.
When I think about it, I see being blue for some reason.
So your one in...
So yeah, in your head, yours is a colourful.
It makes you feel better on the eyes before you've even had a sip then.
That's it.
Well, yeah, I suppose I could go down that route.
Yeah, I've got a lot to think about on this one then.
Yeah, I'll try and have that done next week for you.
Because obviously we all know that this is the most professional podcast going out there,
all the prep work.
Speaking of prep work, we are going to get straight into it because James, God bless
him, unfortunately, there's no Liverpool for him to enjoy slash get upset over at the moment.
Are we good?
Are we...
Wait, is it too far to say that James is our number one fan?
I'd say it's most likely that he is.
He's been reliable every week.
He's been consistent.
He's a good lad.
Yeah, since he started, I don't think he's missed a beat to be fair.
Yeah, as much as he claims to dislike me and manu-notted, I think he wants to be my best
friend really.
I do have an idea of what he looks like.
You remember when we went to Liverpool?
He's definitely wrecking the one-tens.
Oh yeah, but that's...
Well, no, because he's not a real scouse though.
We've already made this clear.
He's a wolf.
I think he's real, mate.
I think he's a scouse to come now.
He over-scouses his mates.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
He has that haircut.
You know where it's like a one on the sides, but like the fringe near from the slung, just
pushed to the side.
Do you know how everyone was rocking them ones?
Yeah, yeah.
What's that name called?
Montrex?
Montrex or something like that.
It's like, you'd see...
It's like...
Obviously, for all the listeners, I'm well into my passion to know exactly what actually
is on there.
Yeah, I'm probably pronouncing him wrong because I've never worn him up for all the
pieces of it yet, but they have some nice...
I probably know if I saw the logo.
Definitely wrecking that.
Yeah, no white socks because the scouse don't wear white socks.
It depends on what...
It looks like he's one of those ones where his trainers would have to match his t-shirt.
You know what I mean?
Yeah.
And then, yeah, half the time wearing Liverpool top as well.
Gotta wrap it, mate.
Probably has got sand around the back.
All trends, might be a big trend.
Have you seen our sellers had a hair transplant?
You see how they shaved off all his afro?
You're not seeing this?
No, no.
Yeah, so we shaved off...
Hopefully James has seen this because I'd imagine it'd be crying on there.
Yeah, no, mate, to be fair, I think it was like two or three days, two or three days
after the season, he posted a picture of his hair pretty much all clipped off,
but it was a far-away picture in the shade, so you couldn't really see what was going on.
OK.
And then he pulled out another picture over the weekend.
And you know his hairline was like the McDonald's archies of the Orbeef.
He's dead straight now, so he's definitely went to Turkey.
Fair play to him.
If you've got all the money, you've got to do it, aren't you?
Yeah, I mean, yeah, he's definitely, obviously, because one of the things is for people like me and you,
if he was ever to go bald, we'd have to wait until we were pretty much completely bald
so you don't have to have another one.
Do you know what I mean?
Because obviously if you have your corners done, then your back starts going,
you have to have the back done.
I get a picture actually, mate.
I'd be interested to see this.
Sorry, but...
Outside of the forehead hairline, he did have a good hair, didn't he?
Yeah, I mean, that would have been a couple of years worth of growth, to be fair.
So that's commitment to the look, that is, if he's got to, well, having to shave it all off.
I'm showing JD now the first picture you put out.
So we put that one out one or two, three days after the seizure.
For starters, I don't get why he's got to be flexing off his shirt, off, just to flash the abs.
Because, Joe, the only thing is an unrememberable.
If you have a six pack, you don't wear a T-shirt.
It's just, it's just, it's just when you have a six pack, if I had a six pack,
might like that, never wear a T-shirt, never ever.
See, now again, this is where we differ, because even if I did have a six pack,
or if I was, you know, more trim-locked than I used to be back in the heyday,
then I'd still be wearing T-shirts.
And it's because I'd burn.
Yeah, but so he obviously he's not going to burn.
Well, he can still burn, but yeah, that picture is, it's not Tom.
He's got his shirt half on.
There was no reason to have it half on. No, that's, that's what I'll.
Yeah, no, but I get it because if I had a six pack, mate, as it says,
especially when I like today when it's nice.
But and then I'm showing Joe the other picture now.
Can you see his hair lines?
This is like one of these newer ones.
See, so that because with the turkey hair transplants that we know of,
it takes quite a while to grow through, doesn't it?
So this would, so don't forget now, this would be about a month.
If I zoom in, you can kind of see the shine of it.
Yeah. So, yeah, so really about six weeks.
So you'll see it in probably more drastic, probably the start of the season,
because he's shredded again after two months, doesn't he?
So, but now it looks good.
There's probably some more expensive procedure that he's had done.
And that's why it's looking, because it's a bit of a struggle to see the shading.
You can see as you've just zoomed in.
But there's this one as well where you can see the corners a little bit.
Yeah, but still, it's, you know, if it wasn't for how good phones are
and that these days, you wouldn't be able to just notice that finally with the naked eye, really.
But then if you look at it, that's what it used to look like.
Yeah, yeah. So it is a massive difference.
So one would assume that after the season finished,
striker to Turkey or wherever, the main guy, Stryloni,
bust it off, straight on, was probably six weeks at the end of the season.
Probably that's six weeks since last guy.
Mai, wasn't it?
Mai, Mai Ferly, wasn't it?
Was it Mai Ferly?
No, no.
It was in Mai though, because the Champions League, because the FA Cup was after that.
That's what I'm thinking, because obviously Man United played in the FA Cup.
That was a week after, wasn't it?
Yeah.
So Liverpool, it's probably about six weeks now.
Yeah.
But now it's looking good.
No, a bit of a black.
Let's say if you can afford to do it, then as we've said enough times,
we'd be heading over to Turkey ourselves and getting it done.
Yeah, I'm surprised that's nothing that's popped up on more feed over the time.
But let's go back to the question.
Sorry, we weren't after that.
Back to James.
So nothing Liverpool or Man United this week from him.
It's just, I can tell that he's stuied on this as well,
because this was after England's terrible performance.
It was probably one of the, if not the worst.
Sorry, go on, let's get to the question first.
Sorry.
Yeah, but it's not a question.
It's a statement.
This is how can Safegate even be allowed to manage a team?
And then he's put this man hugs his face when he sneezes.
Yeah.
Now, before I send this email, because this was the next day from James,
to be fair, watching the game against Denmark, I'm just annoyed.
And I'm sitting there and I'm thinking, Safegate's meal deal.
Now this is something that we've bought up enough times ourselves.
You've got to get the best items, the most expensive ones for your meal deal.
He's definitely having more of a ham sandwich and a fucking ready-sorted.
It's exactly what I'd put.
My flying ham sandwich, warmer and ready-sorted crisps.
I've seen all these though.
Now, I didn't know this was a thing, but I'm sitting there, obviously,
a lot of other people are sitting there doing the same thing.
And I mean, the game itself was atrocious.
We can't deny any of that.
I think it's the worst game I've watched England play in,
for as long as I can remember, the Denmark one.
The man at the time of the ball got given away.
Yeah.
It's literally what everyone has said, all the presenters on Talksport,
they think it's the worst professional tournament game that he has managed.
Also, did you see that Ryan Rooney said, well, I said about taking Jordan Henderson.
Did you see that?
I didn't do that.
He says he would have took Jordan Henderson just for the voice,
which is what's been missing.
Now, all he said, I would have took Jordan Henderson.
Yeah.
Just to...
No, I'm not saying I'm a superstar coach.
If you think that, that's fine.
I can't help that.
Yeah.
But...
You need to get on Football Manager for your tactics.
Yeah.
I would never play...
I mean, this 4-2-3-1 system, I've always hated.
Just go 4-3-3, just go flat out.
Yeah.
Just keep your...
Do the spine, keep your wingers high and wide.
Fuck it, and let's go.
If you concede, you concede, but then you're backing yourself to score.
Now, with England, I watched every single game up until their first game,
and every game I enjoyed.
Now, the first game England played, was it Slovenia the first one,
or Slovakia was the first?
Slovenia, yeah.
Yeah.
The shittiest game of the tournament.
And then I watched a few more games, good, good.
And then the Denmark-England game was the worst game of the tournament.
I'm sick of what...
England it was anyway for Denmark.
Oh, no.
Don't worry.
Yeah, yeah, from Denmark.
Yeah, they played OK.
Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying England played that bad.
Denmark made England play that bad.
I mean, take away how many missed raised passes was in that game?
I can't remember seeing a top level game with that lower standard of passing.
Yeah, the amount of...
Because there's no structure, I don't want to sound like a character,
but there's no structure, there's no pattern to the style of play,
there's no guidance from savegate.
You know, Bellingham, he said, just wasn't in the game.
I feel like a lot of these players have gone to the tournament and thought,
why am I here under this now?
With all the people that have gone around me, we should be doing better,
but we've got to listen to this number.
I feel like a top manager would have made changes at half time.
I feel like people like Jose Mourinho, Pep, Jürgen Klopp,
these are the kind of managers that half time would have changed it.
And everyone has their opinion on what they would have done,
but I just feel like a top manager would have changed during half time.
It's clearly not working.
Let's not give you 10 more minutes because it's not going to work.
And let's just change it now because they wouldn't expect...
The last thing Denmark would expect is half time,
England's made two or three changes.
Probably, I'm not going to go into what I would have done,
but obviously everyone would have had similar ideas.
All that needed was one substitution
and then change a couple of positions around that.
Now you've mentioned it, I was sad because literally what I would have done,
I would have took Trent off.
I would have put Gordon on, dropped Jude Bellingham into the defensive role
next to the right, put Gordon in the middle, put Gordon up.
And I think, literally, I think probably millions of people thought the same thing
because you were just lacking directness.
Then you've got Saka on one side, Gordon on the other side,
Pace, Taharikane, every time you come deep, you're going to fucking find me.
Just stay the fuck up there.
But Southgate loves him getting deep on the pitch, no one else.
Giving no meaning to putting Steve there.
I've seen Taharikane play for Brian Munich, he just dropped deep, but not that deep.
Because he doesn't need to.
Yeah, and he couldn't say because he's got runners off him and they stay high and wide.
Yeah, terrible performance.
I have seen some of these Southgate things like if Garry Southgate
wears high vis to go into the left,
Garry Southgate stops a red line, Grand Theft Auto.
Yeah, well I've got a good few that I've saved myself.
So if Southgate had a spoon, he would use his hands to eat.
If Southgate was the Flash, he would walk.
Southgate puts his phone on low power mode at 99%.
Garry Southgate is the type of guy to give milk to a cow.
Yeah, fuck yeah.
Yeah, Red Lord GTA, I've got that one.
Southgate is the type of guy to listen to his favourite song at the low volume.
Garry Southgate wears swimming goggles to chop onions.
You get what they're trying to say, he's too defensive minded.
Yeah, just too negative.
I've still got a couple more.
Southgate would take the minus offer on the chase.
He fucking would wouldn't he?
100%.
And it would be a big minus offer as well, like 20 grand or something.
Yeah, like there's 30 grand, he's gone for, they're up to 30 grand.
Minus 20, yeah, dude, that's two grand each.
Yeah, and he only had one.
No, that's two and a half, I think there's four on the chase, I said no, they're all minus.
Right, he'd get kicked out anyway.
Wears a helmet on his peloton.
That was probably the best one.
Wears shim pads playing FIFA, and this is probably my favourite one.
Makes a shandy with alcohol-free beer.
So yeah, there's just been a lot of bouts, to be fair, of people just terrorising him.
For the last game now, I mean, even Punditsa coming out like Gary Lineker, I questioned him that.
For the next game, if he comes up with that formation again, you know, it's just game over.
Because even if we get through the next game, we're going to knock that.
Yeah.
It's just, I mean, something could have changed.
Obviously, it's not working.
It hasn't worked.
I'm not saying it's Trenton McDonald's fault, because I feel like it's not just him.
And I did see that Gary Neville was saying that for Arsenal, Declan Rice has been pushed further forward to the midfield free left position.
Not the holding midfield road that's left to Jadriana.
I always think he was a bit further forward, but then the guy from South had to come up and say, because we're missing Calvin Phillips.
I mean, right, Calvin Phillips is Calvin Phillips.
He's not Tony Cruz, you get what I'm saying?
Yeah.
He's replaceable.
He's a good player.
I'd love him to have him at Birmingham.
I know they're a sh** club now.
But any decent team would, you know, he's a decent player, but he's not a player that after England draw with Denmark, you go,
we're missing Calvin Phillips.
Yeah, he's, he just shows how, as you say, he's a good player, but he's not top class.
No, no.
Because Man City boy barely played him.
He goes to West Ham, barely plays.
And again, not saying that West Ham are above Calvin Phillips, but, you know, he just shows just from West Ham alone that he's replaceable.
You know, because West Ham played fine without him in the midfield.
Fair enough, he had a few injuries, so he couldn't play every game.
But it's just a stupid excuse to come out with, there's no need for it.
He just needs to admit that he was wrong.
But I was saying this before the game.
So in the morning, I was literally like, he's going to play for a draw today because he knows he just needs a draw, just needs four points, and he's guaranteed to go through.
And especially when I was listening to Slovenia and Serbia, and because of that, finishing as the draw, I just knew straight away that he's not going to put in a pre-match speech saying to the lads, we're going out there, we're going to bat them or anything.
It's just going to be, yeah, just stick to what I'm telling you, and we'll get the results.
The thing for me is he substitutes the wrong as well, he puts Bowen on instead of Gordon or Karl Palmer, which I like Bowen, but you've used the same structure twice now.
Put him on the first game, put him on the second game, just give these lads a chance.
What's the point of bringing them?
Another thing I thought, why don't you just go 4-2 and just have Ollie Watkins with Harry Kane, because if he's going to drop D, at least that'll work.
So going to a 4-4-2, which is old school English tactics, that could work because then he can still have Trent in the midfield on the roads, Karl Walker behind him.
And even if Harry Kane did drop D.
Harry Kane more as a 4-4-1 essentially there. Bowen, I still wouldn't put him on the left really though, but that would work better than this system that he's trying to use.
I suppose what I'm trying to say is we all can see stuff that we would do as not managers to change a game, because it was so easy to see what needed to be changed.
And for him not to do it, that's why everyone's like, that's why even pundits are coming out and saying shit, because everyone can see there's not one person at home that did not sit there and go, this needs to happen.
And so going on to the pundits, this is what annoys me with the logs of Lineker and Shearer and all that. These were the people that were hoiping him up.
You know, four weeks ago.
Going to win the tournament, sorry.
Well, we've all the 10-hog interviews with Toucheal and all that. These were all the people saying that, man, you know, we should get Southgate as the next manager.
And it just goes to show that they knew that he was a moppie, but because they don't know what man, you know, they'd happily have him in charge because they know how bad it would be.
I think Southgate has managed himself out of a decent job after England, just from that performance.
If he would have left after the World Cup, like he was going to, but obviously he saw an extension.
Yeah, he would have, I don't know, he probably could have got a Newcastle job or something when they got their new owners and started to change things around.
Might have even been able to have got the Brighton job or something.
Yeah, he's definitely managed himself out of a good job, tactically.
I can't see him doing anything now.
I mean, yeah, I really can't see where he goes next, either. I can't see a club that will benefit from his... I don't know what he can provide for anyone.
He's the highest paid manager at the Euros.
Yeah.
So you wouldn't think he'd have to work again because obviously he's earned like five million plus a year and he has been for five years.
So easy maths, plus whatever he's earned before that, managing, playing. So he's, you know.
Yeah, he's definitely set up. But I think he just...
All I can see him doing now is just be a pundit on the TV.
Yeah, yeah. He'll go back to ITV.
Yeah, because anyone, any club that is going to be brave enough, slash stupid, to take him on as their next manager, it's a real, real risk.
I'll tell you a club that would have Birmingham. Birmingham City are the type of club now that would get to the Premier League, sack the manager that's got them to the Premier League, go Southcote.
Fucking, that's the kind of club Birmingham are.
Yeah. But then again, I still can't see Tom Brady being that stupid to allow that to happen, really.
Because surely Tom Brady, even though he's not a football man...
But only with Usy. So Usy was the manager before, Ryan Rooney pretty much got him around the guy there.
But again, that's a new one. I think though, isn't it? The thing that no better abstract a why and the one again that...
The name, it was more of a new person.
Yeah, because obviously he did a little bit... was it DC in old, did he manage?
DC in old, he didn't do too well with them.
Again, that's just the MLS really, isn't it?
Diaby can, he done decent with them. But I like Ryan Rooney, he's a punty.
I really wish he would stick to puntery because he's just so open and honest.
A bit like Roy King, he doesn't bit around the bush.
And I really like, one of the things I do like about the puntery, Cess Fabregas.
I've only seen him a couple of times on it now because I haven't had enough time to watch as much of the games as the one or two.
So the one thing I've always loved about football is tactics.
So Monday Night Football, I used to get in probably on seven o'clock, watch Gary and fucking Jamie speak about the football.
And I used to fucking love it. More so Gary Neville, I used to like what he had to say more than Jamie Carragher.
I don't know why.
Because you couldn't understand most of the stuff he said, that's what.
Yeah, I always feel like he'd always just try to go against Gary Neville at the start, just to go against him.
But again, do you think that's the producers? So you can get them to half argue, essentially.
Yeah, I think it is half that. And I think football is just about opinions, isn't it?
So like what me and you chatted about for the last half, now that's what it means.
Someone blocked, now South God's spot on. You know what I mean?
And I'd love to find someone like that.
Yeah, but you get what I'm saying now. It's opinions, isn't it, football?
But yeah, I used to love watching all that. So love hearing Seth Fabregas talk.
A bit better than Anne Shearer, Mika Richards.
Yeah, Mika, it's just for the personalities and just because he's bubbly and a bit loud.
A height, a fucking, what's her name? Is he Casey? His name Casey Stoner.
Used to play for Blues Women, the female pundit for ITV.
I think her name's Casey Stoner.
I probably know the face.
Yeah, she does score sports Monday night as well. Sometimes fucking kills me.
It's just, literally mate, get me on there. I'll talk about football more than her.
Honestly, she does. Yeah, so there's some pundits, sorry Jay, on the boarder.
I see the punditry and I won't watch the boarder.
Yeah, or just have it on mute.
For five live, I'd listen to the Dublin talk about it.
God, I don't know what's worse then.
But there was two of them, again I don't know the names, but it was two women standing there
pitch-sod before one of the games the other day. And they weren't even talking about the game
for like three minutes.
Yeah, I can't remember the name. I know it's that, the old England top goalscorer I think that one.
I know we'd gone there. And then, yeah, I know who you're on about mate.
I know who you're on about. I remember seeing it.
Literally, I listened to it for 30 seconds. I was like, no. And I did just turn the volume down.
And they were just standing there and they're laughing and I'm like, yeah, they're still not talking about football.
They're still not talking about it. And I had to wait until they went off to turn the volume up.
I'll give credit though. There is one female commentator that I really like compared to Steve.
There's a few female commentary commentators. One of them I can't stand. I don't know the names.
There's one that, you know what, she talks about football and I get it.
The other two, I think there's one on ITV and there's another one on BBC One. I can't stand.
Yeah. I can't remember. I'll have to get her name because she's really, I actually, I watched it and she just wanted to change it.
Yeah. There is quite a few though where they've just tried to force, just because they were semi-decent women football players,
they've tried to force them into punditry just to kind of try and make it more relevant.
And there's no need for it. Women's games come on leaps and bounds over the last few years.
There's no need to keep trying to force these things in.
But I mean, just two little Brummies on a podcast isn't really going to change that easy.
That's why we need all you listeners to share this. You know, like, share, download, subscribe, do all that jazz.
And get us more popular so we can be the voice of the people and start changing all these negative producers,
trying to downgrade our TV enjoyments for their personal gains.
Yeah. I mean, for another football podcast, we spoke about football quality the last few weeks, but that's obviously with the Euros.
Yeah. It's going to be a negative review.
And I do think we talk football better than Tom Garry. You know that geezer.
Tom Garry. I can't believe his name is still being mentioned.
But that's just reminding me someone that you've never logged.
I mean, no one's ever really logged. It's finally over.
What's that? Mr. Beaver. What's happened? He's fucking bankrupt now.
Is he really? Yeah. Again, I've just been seeing the TikTok stream, like the videos of his live stream.
So I don't know when it was, obviously within the last couple of days, he was doing a live stream.
He green screen showing his Monzo bank account behind him overdraft.
The draft was 750 and he was on 747, something like that. He's arguing with his missus.
He owes her five grand. She's paid for everything. This and that log.
And yeah, so he's broke. She's kicking him out. And you could see for like 10 seconds because he's just quiet.
He's trying to force a tear out to try and make it all emotional.
To be devil's advocate here, I would say he's probably got another account with money in it.
And it's just for storyline. It should do. Yes.
Because I feel like half the stuff on TikTok now is just stories like people make up stuff for content.
Yeah. Well, with the way that they were arguing, she was shouting to him, you've been too arrogant.
You've become big headed. And he was like, yeah, but I've been relevant for six months.
She says, yes, six months. What are you going to do now? You've got nothing to do.
You're not going to be able to do anything. He's like, yeah, that's right.
TikTok ruined my life. I can't even get a normal job. And it sounds made up.
That does it sounds like. Well, I don't think he even had a job beforehand.
So he's not going to be able to. He's got no longevity in him.
Like when he runs over, he runs over. Yeah.
But yeah, he was definitely trying to force out a tear.
And he says that TikTok ruined his life.
And there was more context to it, more things being said.
But I was just laughing, thinking, actually he's going to look at this.
Well, hopefully that leaves the end of him because he's a twat. Yeah.
He just come across as quite.
Quite prickly. Like he seemed like he does seem arrogant.
Yeah, definitely because he started to get a bit of a warning.
Like that's what he's got in there.
I mean, there's a fair few women out there that does that as well. Yeah, that's true.
Yeah. Not my own miss, is that?
So we shall get onto more of the correspondence now anyway.
So we've got a couple of questions again. Right.
And we will get on to it once I can reorganise this properly.
Because for some reason I'm just not looking at it right.
So there was a question from Lauren.
Why can men be happy with a simple life, but women can't?
OK.
Now, to me, it's just the basic thing that we can just sit there in silence
and not have to do anything to just be having a good time.
Right. So for me, I'm going to ask you this question.
If you won the lottery tomorrow, obviously you'd go a bit more at first.
But after you've won a bit of the world, what would you want to do with your money?
So after I've had a massive blowout of a holiday and...
Like you've had six months of just, yeah, just enjoying things and that.
Then I mean, I don't know if I have actually said it on the pod before,
but I would genuinely just buy old derelict barns or run down buildings
and just do them all in my own time, own way, and then just set them up.
So, yeah, just flip properties.
So you see these people that like to upcycle furniture or something,
get an old car and bring it back to its old glory days.
It's that kind of thing, but just with houses.
See, so what I'm trying to get at, see for me, say if I won your millions,
I would go to Wyoming, buy a ranch, just with a nice view,
you know, far close enough to a town that's just got all the amenities that you want.
And I'll just fucking live happy for the rest of my life.
So what I'm trying to say, I feel like men's life is just easier because this one,
I'm just saying, all men care about, as long as they have a nice haircut,
when they want a haircut, fine.
But with girls, it has to be nails, lashes, hair.
I think eyelashes can cost, you know, while your sister does all that stuff.
Yeah.
I mean, 100 quid, am I being...
I think that's kind of like an average price for it
because there's all sorts of different eyelashes, Russian ones and this and that.
And then there's nails, which is 50 quid for a liquid, hair, hair extensions.
Eyebrows.
Yeah, so I feel like the question is men are happy because it's just, they don't need a lot.
They just need pretty much just the basics, TV, computer or TV, watch and think.
There's always something going on in the woman's mind, I feel, that it's 100 mile an hour.
That's why a lot of you can have a bit of an altercation
and they'll bring up something from six years ago that you don't even remember
because they've never stopped thinking about it.
Right.
Yet we can just, as you say, just sit there, watch whatever crap on the TV
or even just flick through nonsense on the phone and not be bothered, not have a care in the world.
And that's fine.
Just sit there, do nothing where there's always something that's got to be done.
Not with every woman, but they're always thinking about what's next.
What can I do now?
What can I do tomorrow?
What can I do next week?
Where we can just go with the flow.
All right, yeah, there's nothing planned.
Don't worry about it. It's fine.
I do feel like with the generation below us, it is more Instagram.
So you've got to be showing that you're living your best life.
It's just to see myself, I've got to be more better.
You don't see that it's all paid on that client.
Is it called client? Are we paying three or four month repayments?
Yeah.
So I think it just meant just don't need a lot.
I know I don't need a lot. I know you don't need a lot.
How nice. That's when we spoke badly before.
It's said it's always been low-rent. Just nice, not massive house, big house.
Nice view. Ranch, few animals.
Like in my dog house.
I don't know, as he's lying there, snoring his head off.
I think things change as you get older as well, though.
Because when we were younger, we did want to have the better clothes.
Always trying to keep up with the fresh trim and, you know, white cheese
and bits of jewellery and whatever.
Not really trying to flex, but wanting to go for the effort to make yourself feel good.
And then, you know, come sort of like mid-20s, it's like, I don't know why I'm bothering.
I don't need to do this.
Wearing the nicest of clothes and everything isn't really making me happy.
Doing nothing is making me happy.
Like we've said before, we want to go out and enjoy a good beer and that,
we don't want to be standing up. We want to be sitting down.
We want to be comfortable.
I think that's really just making it to the point where they just know what they like,
what they don't like, and they just die in that line as well.
Again, look what we touched on last week, you know, how men don't really make new friends
after a certain age, because you just, you've already got your friends,
you don't need any more, and you're just happy with what you've got.
We don't like to complicate things. So hopefully that's helped you out, Lauren.
Thanks for your email.
Yeah, thanks for that. Send your emails in at realtalkandpod.gmail.com.
Some of them are WhatsApps from the hotline, 0747 0488 096.
Links are always in the description as well, so send all your messages in.
And then kind of a similar question, but it is different from Jess.
Do you have any boys will be boys moments, like when you see these videos of why women live longer than men?
So the first ones that come to mind with me is just when we was younger,
I mean, we'd still do it now, is just going on little kids arcade games and stuff,
ones that we'd always play as a kid.
And then the other side of that is, I mean, many years ago now,
me and one of the other lads, he bought a taser, obviously an electric taser.
And we just spent hours, I mean, there was a few beers that had been flowing,
but we just spent hours just zapping ourselves, zapping each other.
One of the other lads come round, Mr. Green, and he literally trolled it once,
and then he was just too scared, wouldn't touch it again.
And yeah, it's just got...
The song just come into me head then, the one that was always, we'd go, jackass.
If you're going to be dumb, you got to be tough.
And I think that literally just sums up men really, isn't it?
Yeah, well, I've got a story with that taser, and he's boys being boys, so to speak.
We had a little gal from the last lot.
I can't remember what he was for.
But anyway, that taser, army lads taser, one of the other lads got it,
and zapped one of the other lads, and he was like, what the fuck was that?
Now, at this point, everyone's like it.
So anyway, they go into, this was at my mum's, and this is before we moved into the house here.
We had the garage, which was converted into the bedroom.
So then army lads saw that he had the taser, then three of them walked into the bedroom,
zapped the other lad again, he bagged him.
Army lad took his finger and started throwing his finger up the other lad's butt,
while he's trying to hold it, like not getting his dick on shot.
And he's just standing there going, ah.
At this point, my mum and dad walk out the front, and they had a solid window,
and they were just looking into it with their friends leaving,
just seeing this lad get fingered up his butt, or being tasered.
That's, yeah.
I mean, is there any more boys being boys than that?
I mean.
Men doing dumb stuff, any?
And this lad, the one that got tasered, now he's like fingered up his bum,
well, got fingered up his bum.
Afa Bawr, he would, as he walked past him, he'd grab your dick.
I never get that.
The one thing he'd done, I'll tell you this story.
So he used to shower with his boxers on.
So boxers, not even swimming trunks?
No, no, so like after football, right, he used to shower with his boxers on.
I never used to have a shower, because if anyone that's been in football knows,
it's just fucking, it's like 20 men off, and two showers, whatever.
But he used to shower with his boxers on and everything.
But when the lad used to have a shower, there was this big, I can't remember the lad's name,
he was a tall black guy, and he went to me and the other lad,
he thought, fucking, I looked us all as if he was fucking cock.
So we've all looked up.
And the guy was just rubbing his butt, standing naked in the middle of the changing room,
just rubbing body lotion, had a six-pack, so obviously he's topless,
rubbing body lotion all over his body.
So he was the black man that was rubbing lotion on?
Yeah, yeah.
That's why they have better skin than most of us,
because they're always rubbing the coconut butter and all that around them at night.
Well, yeah.
And then again, that wasn't gay though, was he?
He didn't look in a gay way.
No, not...
There's a few stories, like we spoke off the podcast when he told me about this,
it was that time when we was all in a Ynappa, and we took a shortcut for whatever reason.
For some reason, there was a big alleyway dug out,
and outside the jump was probably about, I can't remember it now,
it was a big enough jump, and it was pretty deep.
And it was either you jump across, or it's like a technique detour back to where it was going.
And anyone that's been in Cyprus knows that a hot dally is, so just jumped it.
Wouldn't do it now, fucking...
You wouldn't even risk doing that now, because you'd be fine, you broke your leg, mate.
Yeah, I think...
And like you were saying, with the arcade, you just jump on the little cars where you put a £50...
Yeah, just the little... I can't say I'm surprised, but it was, yeah, the little...
Because they weren't bump cars.
No, they were just little kids' cars that go around the little circle.
Yeah, I remember us all just...
It was Skegness or Yama, one or two.
Yeah, I remember that one once.
All four of us on them.
Yeah, just doing circles.
That was us living our best life at that point.
Yeah, and just even just going and playing, all in the cage, and that's just simple...
I know I'm kind of going back to the last question now, but yeah, just simple things like that.
Yeah, it was good old days, really.
Yeah, I suppose there could be more boys being boys things that we'll probably think of, if we ever do.
Try and remember to bring them up on the part we will.
So I'll just say, the lad that had his finger...
His one finger.
The next day, I didn't even question it, he just says, he just put in the WhatsApp group,
what is my bum so sore?
He definitely forgot.
Either that or he went back home and done it all to himself.
Finished himself off, yeah.
Enjoyed it so much, didn't he?
But yeah, moving on.
Sorry, I will just quickly check.
No, that was that, that was that.
Yeah, we've done James's.
So yeah, moving on.
I mean, to be fair, James already had one of these for Southgate, wasn't he?
Hey, what's it all about?
So yeah, we shall move on to Ashley's favourite feature.
It is.
So there was one which, to be fair, I think it was, it should have been on last week,
but I don't know why I forgot it.
But well, yeah, it was this one.
So it was from Jess and Jess says...
Random people just smiling at me whilst walking around.
Weird.
It's more in the morning when everyone wants to go, morning.
Yeah, no, this is kind of like an old fashioned thing really, because back in the day,
before we was even around, that was just the common thing.
I think everyone would walk around just smiling, hello, morning, how you do,
tip of the hat to you, sir, all that kind of thing.
And so I get it still now while I'm walking around, I'll get older generation, hello, morning.
And I'll say it back because I'm for loads.
But I feel like these days, you can't look at anyone without being seen as a creep.
I'd like to just imagine that it's just old people just still trying to do the politeness,
just hello, morning or anything to Jess, but it could be men trying to creep on her.
That's probably why she's getting a bit weirded out.
So, yeah, I think you just need to try not to make too much eye contact,
because that's when you're going to get the smile then as well.
And wear headphones.
Yeah, but my headphones are big and people still like to try and talk to me.
Because that cracks me up, but I have to, I can see that they're talking to me.
I'm like, hang on a sec.
And then because after Tom, I'm having to swap the lead, the dog lead,
not any other lead into the other hand and then press pause on the right headphone,
and then pull it back, sorry, didn't hear any of that, and then they'll start talking again.
So I'd get the hint and I'll try and pull it back over my ear and they're still trying to talk.
But yeah, a lot of the time it is the older generation.
I think anything normally past the, because it normally happens when you're on a dog walk.
You get the head down, nod, morning, you go, morning, that's all you need to do.
I think anything with a smile like morning, with a smile in, it's a bit creepy.
It's just a straight face, head down, morning.
Yeah, that's it.
Someone said it to me yesterday, I've got morning big man.
A little compliment.
I didn't forget about that obviously, I'm thinking about it now.
But how do you know he wasn't talking to the dog?
No, no, mate, he was talking to me.
And was it a man?
Yeah, he was a man's man as well, so I think he called me big man.
No, I just bring him a spell.
Yeah, well, maybe he did as well.
That's probably the thought of you as big man.
Right, so I feel like we're just reversing the order now.
So that was Jesse's one.
We've got one from Lauren, she says.
Why people don't, no, sorry, when people don't park in the Bay straight or straight to North stresses me out.
You know, yes, yes, it's those ones where they're coming out of angle.
So it's like, right, then you have to, right, so if you haven't got a passenger,
then you have to dictate which way you drive in.
And then you're like, how am I going to get back into their car without hitting my car?
Like with the door, pranking the door or something.
So most of the time, if I see a car parked in an angle, I am parking next to them.
See, I love it.
It cracks me up.
I love it.
If when they've parked in a stupid angle, because I always reverse parking anyway.
So if I end up that there are more left, I'll reverse in.
And if, especially if they're overhanging on the bay that I'm parking in a touch as well, I'll reverse parking so close just to wind them up because they can ding the van.
Yeah.
It's already been bad.
So for me, what I tend to do now because of this situation is look for space because all I mind, you know, like, I'm not going to do that.
I don't mind parking quite far while I'm walking just for the sake that no one's going to prank my car like that.
I mean, whether it depends on where I'll park.
Because if it's raining, I'll try and get as close as I can just so I'm not going to get soaked too much.
I do not mind, mate.
I would rather get a little bit wet because you're going to get wet unless you're going to get wet.
If it's raining, you're going to get wet.
Right.
So for me, I like parking completely.
I'm not saying like the end of the car park.
But yeah, you know, you know, you see, like, full everyone bought the shops.
It's all done as you come out medium and then just that right medium there where you know no one's going to park quite next to you.
Where you got an empty parking space either side.
Reverse that in.
Fucking spot on, mate.
Yeah.
But yeah, I never get that.
The worst ones is sometimes when people park over two lines.
Yeah.
Oh, my God. I've seen it the other day when swimming.
And he parked literally.
Took up four spaces because he wasn't.
He parked over four spaces.
So do you know what I mean, Jay?
Yeah.
It was literally his wheels was four different spots.
Yeah.
Look, man, I don't get it.
Some people just have no awareness and stuff like that.
And it's ridiculous.
It's scary when you see a car parked fucked up and the car's ballad.
Fuck that.
Yeah.
Literally like the front door scratch.
No, I am I going near that car.
It's the worst one we park and you see a car parked up next to yours fucked up.
Fuck.
Yeah.
I did a few years ago.
So he was sort of locked towards the end of the covid restrictions.
Or the motor still been on a little bit.
I can't remember exactly.
I remember using the voice car to go shopping.
And I've done a quick lap around, got the food.
As I come out, there was a car that pulled into the bay next to me and that scratched the car.
Obviously, if it was the van, wouldn't have been bothered.
But it's the voice car.
So I'm annoyed.
And I'm standing there for about 10 minutes.
No sign of anyone coming out yet.
So I'm rummaging through and I found a bit of cardboard off of a packaging or something.
I managed to find a pen in there as well.
And I've started to roll down the details.
So her car details, what they've done.
And I took pictures and that as well.
And I was going to leave it on the front window so they could get in touch.
And just as I finished, I've seen this old boy walking, comes to the car.
I was like, you're all right, mate.
You've hit the car.
And he was completely oblivious.
He was like, no, I haven't.
And I said, you have.
Because it was a grey car that the missus had at the time.
And his was like a burgundy colour.
And you could see the way that the painted chipped onto it a little bit.
You could see the scratch marks.
And everyone just all lined up with his car.
Yeah, because he somehow managed to park across the front.
Because again, I've reversed into the bay.
So he's sort of parked over in front a little bit.
And you can see the scratch order that's on his car anyway.
And so he started to panic a little bit.
I was like, look, I just want your details so we can get it sorted for the insurance.
He was visiting family from Scotland.
He was only there for a couple of days.
And so I think he was playing around a little bit.
He was like, no, I don't need this.
I'm only here to see family for a few days.
I was like, yeah, none of us need this, mate.
I said, but you've done what you've done.
I've waited for you.
So I just need the details.
So I took all the details down that I needed to.
So it was probably after I finished shopping.
Best part of half now at this point now that I've waited.
Food's getting warm in the car.
So got back.
You think the Mrs.
Was fucking bothered?
No, just because it was the company car.
And then because I had some tea cup, which for anyone that doesn't know, it's just sort of like a creamy liquids.
Yeah.
You just said the massage.
Yeah.
It'll clean up a little bit.
So I've ended up having to do that.
And it's gotten my law, you know, the majority.
Well, yeah, I thought, well, I did above that weight.
And then I could guarantee if I didn't get the details, it would have been an argument.
Yeah. Well, all drivers are among the worst drivers.
Now I've said this for one.
I think we all spoke about old drivers should not allowed to drive between the hours of so like half seven in the morning to 10 o'clock.
They shouldn't be able to drive, you know, when everyone's going to work.
Yeah.
Then from half 10, they should be able to drive to like two o'clock.
So they're not in the way of the school run.
And then after the work.
So yeah.
And I've got to get it all fucking done.
Yeah.
I was always saying this.
Oh, boy.
When was it?
Last weekend.
So shops around, bomber moms.
You park up.
You got a bar in front of you.
You know, you just turn in reversing.
No dramas.
It comes in a pose.
You are too away.
Look, as he's turned, he must have put the car in neutral.
So he's put his foot down.
And then like literally almost bounced off the ballad.
But in his head, look, he got up.
That's normal.
Didn't see how close his car was to the ballad.
I'm there like fucking out.
He almost took the ballad with him, but nothing got up.
Got his newspaper.
That's how old he was.
And fucking got back in and reversed it.
Oh my God, mate.
So you know, when you reverse and you've got a car next to you, you've got to reverse
straight.
And then you start turning.
Cause you've turned straight away.
The more you're going to keep the end of their car.
Yeah.
So you get halfway past halfway.
That's going to start maneuvering the steering wheel.
He started turning, went straight, turned again.
I'm like, fuck it.
I might just fucking do a fire.
Yeah.
Walk to shots from now on.
Yeah.
Fuck you know.
It's just reminding me years ago, we went to the Sainsbury's up by the Jag.
And I don't know, we was probably getting a game or something.
But I remember as we were about to leave, this old woman in a red car, like a Metro or something,
hit me.
So not me, but hit the man.
And we were both sort of looking shocked.
That really just happened.
I remember us throwing a lot of chaser around the car park.
And I'm beeping and flashing and that.
And she just blip, no light yet.
Didn't have a clue what had happened.
Oh God, that was funny.
That was, but yeah, I mean, we could moan about hours and hours.
That could be a whole episode.
I'm telling you, literally the amount of stuff that I have seen over the years is horrendous.
But yeah, thanks for that.
And now we've got Joe, who says.
People standing around chatting in shops.
I'm here to get food, get out of the way barrel.
Yeah, no.
Since the put barrel as well, I'm guessing it's an old person.
No, this happened to me yesterday.
So me in the shop, the shopkeeper knows someone in front of me.
So I'm standing with my stuff, you know, ready to get served.
And these two old people are chatting for average.
She's done. She's paid.
Yeah, just move along, move along and let me pay and carry on talking.
You don't need to talk to me and then just scan my items while you're talking.
Talk over me. I don't care.
No, no, no, no.
Oh, and they're in the way when they're doing the fucking noise and you've got the trolley.
Excuse me.
Yeah. And like what you're saying when they're talking, when they've already paid and that.
And then you get the awkward look.
I'm ready to go.
They're looking at you as if you're inconvenienced.
Let's just get this transaction done.
So I can go.
But yeah, I have it too.
I hate shopping in general.
And that's why I mean, again, I suppose this is a bit of a man thing because my miss is anytime food shopping,
I want to go up and down every oil.
Nothing's changed.
Every now and again, they will reorganize the shelves in as that.
And yeah, you might need to sort of re familiarize with the new layout.
But if you want tea bags, go to the tea, get your tea bags, get your milk.
So the big one, I know I already don't have.
Well, I did. I did do a design.
That's what I think is anyway.
Don't get me started with these signs now. I remember again years ago.
All I needed was bin bags and, you know, they used to be called black bags.
But you got to be PC now, haven't you?
So I'm looking at the overhead in the as that and it's got a lot cleaning products, whatever else, bin liners.
Well, it actually said black bags. This was that long ago when it didn't matter.
I'm walking down and I can see cleaning stuff, tinfoil, whatever, and I'm not.
There's no black bags there. So I'll go along the next one.
Nothing there. So I'll come back to the first one that says the black bags up and down.
And I'm looking at I'm not. There's no there's no bin bags whatsoever.
There's no black bags. There's no white bags. There's no green refuse, sacks or anything.
So I've gone to the worker who's stacking whatever on the shelf.
Excuse me. You tell me where the black bags are placed.
And they've looked up at the side and they're not there.
I'm not the nut.
So they've ended up realizing that they're not on that oil.
They've took me to the other one that I didn't walk down.
They're not there. They are. I was not being funny.
But even you looked up at the side and thought they were on this one.
So why hasn't that been moved to the oil that it's actually on? Oh, I don't know.
Had no excuse. Just yeah.
Just knew that someone hasn't done the job properly.
I was so pissed off.
There's just no need.
It's not hard if you move things around. Change it.
Wish I could just want to get in, get your shit, get out.
No talking, no gassing.
I went to B&M yesterday. All I needed from there was Stanley blades.
Just to keep the stockpile high for cutting materials and that, not for people.
And I mean, it was my own fault.
I shouldn't go on a Saturday middle of the day because I own bargains, B&M's and that.
They're always busy.
Before you go there, Saturday morning, mate. Get in.
For when it opens, get out.
Yeah, I had a busy morning. I couldn't go first thing.
So literally, it's the first time I've ever seen anyone doing this as well.
But they were cubing down in front of the unopened tills,
down towards the painting corner where they have the tops of the paint.
I'm standing there and I'm seeing people come down to Oils and join the other cues.
I'm like, why are we cubing like this when people are still merging onto the other two cues as normal?
And again, they've got six tills, three of them open.
It's busy.
And there's one of the other worker women are just standing there talking to one that's on the till.
And so, no, forget your conversation.
Go and fucking open another till.
And so I've ended up walking past this queue.
And again, because it cracks me up if I've got a few items in that.
And I see someone that's just got one thing.
I'm like, just crack on. Just go ahead. You're 30 seconds.
I'm going to be a couple of minutes at this checkout. You go on.
And people are seeing me just with these Pakistani bays.
No, no one's doing it.
So I've ended up walking past the queue to join onto the middle one of these three open tills now.
People are staring at me. I'm like, go on.
Please say something so I can tell you all to fuck off.
No one said anything like that.
And then I've realised I've joined the wrong cue.
The woman at the front. So there was two people in front of me.
The woman at the front who was already getting served.
She must have been supplying a homeless shelter or something
because there was a whole trolley full of pillows,
another trolley full of quilts, blankets, all sorts.
And she's ended up paying all in cash as well.
There was like 300 pounds worth of 10 pound notes, a few 20s on that.
And even the woman on the till was looking as if to say, I can't believe you've done this to me.
And I mean, she wasn't the proudest of girls on the till and she took ages counting.
And so, yeah, she's probably not used to doing that kind of cash.
Well, most of them are. And I know these days are because everyone's just playing card.
So she's finally done it.
And again, the people in front of me, they've got a basket full of everything.
And I know they've already looked at me and seen that I've just got this.
And I made a point then. So once they've put it all on and they've squeezed it together,
because the B&M conveyor belt is tiny.
There's no point in being there.
So as I've squeezed it all up, fair enough, it's all little things, but it was still like 20 items.
So they put the little checker there to say next customer.
And I've slapped it down on there to make the point.
Like user fucking added to my fucking shit morning.
No, all I wanted to do was buy these and fucking go to Asda.
You've just prolonged it.
So what should have been in and out of B&M, two minutes, Stanley Bay, Sound, go to Asda, little food shop, done.
Took me over an hour. And it's just not right.
It's not right.
Well, I think we're going to end it there anyway.
It's been over an hour.
There is a couple more, hey, what's wrong with you?
But it's Sunday. We've got stuff to do.
Yeah, maybe we should start off next week with the with the remain. Well, with the remaining ones and any new ones.
Well, we've all got intentions.
We will do. But there's probably going to be something else that starts us off.
So we'll deal with next week when we get to it.
Hopefully we'll be out as normal on Saturday.
But this I'm going to get it straight out to you as quick as possible right now.
But yeah, as always, sending your messages, emails, WhatsApps, whatever.
Yeah. Thank you for everyone has messaged me, Matt.
And thank you for those that we haven't read out for doing so.
We will get to them next week as Jidy said.
We thank you for all the correspondence we see.
Yeah. And yeah, just keep doing it.
Just keep the log and sharing, downloading all that.
You know, there's a lot of users that don't download or that do download, but aren't subscribed and following and all that.
Just hit the little button, just click it.
No effort whatsoever.
Just get it done. Be a good person.
Don't be one of these safe gators.
Yeah.
He's subscribed to everyone.
Right. So hopefully you enjoyed.
And we're not a football podcast, but you know, it is what it is sometimes.
That's it.
And yeah, enjoy your week. We'll see you there. Peace.
Bye.