Hi everyone, welcome back to another episode of the Real Talking Podcast, your host Ash
and JD. So we did promise to start off where we left off last week, which is usually a
good place to go from, so that's where you finish. So there was the one WhatsApp on the
Real Talk hotline, real hotline 07 470 488 096 if you want to get your messages. So the
message was from Carl asking what's the weirdest situation you've woken up to after a night
of sleep. So I'll let you go first with this one. So I mean, this is really like really
more down JD's like, you know, anyway, anyway. But my story does actually involve JD. So
I was thinking about this just before JD asked me, you know, what's the weirdest thing? And
there probably would be one that comes to my mind after. But in the moment, it was stopping
over JD's probably about 18 years old. Me and another lad stopped over JD's and he brought
a girl back. See, because for a bit more context though, back then, I had a double bed and
a bunk bed, which was a double bed as well. Right. But no, you didn't have to you didn't
have the double bed. It was just the one bed. So what happened? No, no, you only had a double
bed mate. The top, I know which one you're on about. It's just that double bed you moved
to your mom's in the end. So we would have been older than what might be was 19 then.
I had that extra bunk bed basically from 15. Right. The timeline then might not be correct,
but it's probably about 19. But we was young anyway. So I was going to stop over yours
anyway after and all that. And then the one lad wanting to shag this girl and he said
you can shag her out mine. I don't know if you remember this. I'm trying to remember.
So anyway, as JD is a good fucking lad, says you can shag her out mine. I remember me and
you, I don't remember me and you going to bed first, like not in a gay way obviously.
Yeah. But obviously we went off. The next thing you know, the servant come on. So they're
doing what they're doing with us in the bed, but they're not fully, they're not fully shagging
you. So anyway, I've gone to sleep and I woke up and I didn't get, I didn't wake up. The
person woke me up and was like, Ash, look at this. And he's grabbed your willy and he's
flapping your willy around. So that's probably the weirdest thing to wake up to.
So was I asleep while he was doing that?
Yeah. Cause you was, you was drunk mate after midnight. Cause I remember we got back, you
ordered everyone food. You went straight to bed. You had some, like literally a handful
of food went straight up. I literally finished off the burger, went upstairs thinking just
leave them to you. But then I must've come upstairs cause I was in the, literally the
same end cause we didn't top and tell who's men. We just had cushions in the middle. But
the thing is that I was in the middle of us. So you was down the one side. I was right
down the other side as you do, you know, backs to back. Yeah. And uh, yeah. Yeah. And then
obviously that's what I woken up to. And then I eventually go down to shag or assume unless
I did on the bed, but yeah, that was the weirdest thing that I can think of. Why I can observe
was one of the other lads getting your willy and flapping it around.
Good times. Um, yeah. So I definitely don't remember.
It's a bit boring. It's a bit boring how you don't remember.
Yeah, but if I was asleep, someone's playing with my car. I ain't gonna fucking know.
Um, but yeah, that must've been just before I moved out of that house then because I said
I had that extra bunk bed while we were still in school.
Yeah. It wasn't, no, it wasn't four days. It was literally, well, yeah, it wouldn't
have been cause obviously we'd been out and that. Um, I never used to stop yours regularly
around this time, but for some reason, I don't know if he was going out the next day. So
rather than being up because it's before cars and everything, like we could drive. It was
a case of me and you just going, I don't know what, because normally I wouldn't stop with
yours, but it did stop over and it was about 18, 19.
I don't know. There was loads of, uh, drunken excapades. I really weren't that, um, but
then my weirdest one, I mean, it is a story that I've told. I don't even know what episode
number it was, but, uh, earlier on in the podcast anyway, um, I won't go through the
full details. If you do want to know the full story, you'll have to go back and give it
a little, little listen. Uh, but the gist of it was, um, when I ended up, uh, I didn't
consent. I essentially got, uh, raped. Um, so I got dragged into this caravan with a
larger lady, so to say, um, massive, right. I ain't got to be around the bush. I can run
away from it. Uh, and then I just, so basically I remember waking up because this was before
phones had a flat screen. Yeah. Click, click, click buttons and you have to press working
seven, four times to get an S. So that's all I could do.
I'm like, fuck, psychos texting. And then everything started flashing back to me and
we've got moving. I was doing the whole, no, no, no, cause all of it was just coming back
literally. So, uh, yeah, I just had to get out of bed. I'm always coming back to you,
but it was horrific. I just ordered the, just all the sex that was going on. But like, you
know, just the man, and he just, you know, there's only so many times you can say no.
Did you, um, do you remember the time of grenade? Did you grenade for anyone? I've done that
loads of times. Yeah. No, that one was, no, because we all know you've granaded a few
times. Yeah. The best one being, uh, she looked like Katie Crapper from Mr. Green. That was
your, tell the listeners about grenade in his cause I think it's like a time that's
probably been lost now. It's probably called some cows now. Yeah. So, um, again, it'd be
something that you'd see unlock the war movies or that you log, uh, 1917 recommendations
from last week. If you didn't listen to me. Um, so essentially, uh, it stems from a war
zone situation where someone sees a grenade has been thrown and they'll sacrifice themselves.
They'll jump onto it to protect everyone else. Um, so yeah, it's along them lines of, uh,
taking a grenade, uh, outside of a war zone is just, um, going home with the mate that
is, uh, less desirable. Should we say, you know, I've never discriminated. I've always
been, yeah. And to be fair, a lot, again, I know we've said it before. It was always
a part of the crack the next day in the calf having the breakfast and just everyone just
to be fair, a lot of it was stories about what I've been up to the night before, which
wasn't always the top shagging. It was a lot of just, you know, drunk and he fallen over
in the chip or something. Um, yeah, I do remember when you fall over sitting down, which we
have spoke about, because obviously I fell asleep and then just fucking dropped. So it
was sitting down and then fall over and then when he hit, so you fall over to him down
and then about three seconds after he hit the floor, I was like, ah, like that's how
long he took his body to register that it's fine. I've heard her. Well, yeah, I would
have woke up a lot. I don't know. I'll be used to doing well. I don't know. I'll use
to the beat, you know, you fucking, you was never really a massive drinker. No. And this
goes on to, I was, I was always a bit fearful of getting that drunk in terms of getting
that drunk and going out. No, no. Like, and now I would never even, I wouldn't even contemplate
getting that drunk while going out now. Cause obviously there's just no thing now that's
what we touched on last week, but there's always something in me that I think didn't
allow me to get, get that why.
Cause you never had any kids. That's what I remember when I drank you that one night.
Do you remember when I drank you that one night? Me and JD, I tried you and I had drunk
him to this day. He's still, because points of water don't count. I always stuck just
to the aisles and you was having to sip on water just to balance yourself. You know what
I used to do when we used to go out? Honestly, I don't know if I should say this. You had
a game I was mindstorming. So, you know, when we used to go out and we used to get vodka
or sambuca, you know, he's clear, but the liquids clear. I used to get, say those four
balls used to get three sambucas, one archers. Yeah. Yeah. You've told me that before. And
then think of all the times where we've all had a round of shots and then you're there
like, Jay, can you have it? And so you try and slowly pass it to me and I'll end up down
yours as well. Can we establish that no one has a shot and enjoys it? So what is the point
of having them? If you ever had a shot and was like, Oh, that's nice. That's not a shot.
It's like the one. It's like the guy. No, no, it's just like, no, no, don't discriminate.
Um, yeah. Uh, what I'm saying is like, it doesn't taste like a shot cause it isn't a
shot. It's just, yeah. Well, it was, it's here, Maria. Yeah. Um, I did used to enjoy
the Jaeger bombs. I haven't had one for a long time, so I don't know if I'd still feel
the same. Um, the good, no, I agree with you there. And with the Jaeger bombs, I used to
like that feeling that used to come, especially from a lad bomb. Yeah. But yeah, I have got
drunk once actually uptown and we had two lad bombs and then we've spoke about what
a lad bomb is before. It's basically a Jaeger bomb with a double vodka in it. And, uh, it
doesn't, man, you feel it like, like why you need it. And you just feel that sensation
has come up with a hot flush. Yeah. And then it doesn't come back down. Yeah. I think,
I think it's because it literally does sound the tin of the Red Bull not to consume with
alcohol. And so it's literally, it's just, I suppose the sugar rush from it as well.
I think about the caffeine, right? If it's a zero book, we can establish though that
no one's ever had a shot of some book, like a clear, like a straight up shot. Yeah. So
in general, the cheap stuff that they always have in the clubs and the pubs that we'd go
to, no, it's not enjoyable. Some bookers and some book of black as well. Horrible. Which
was the one that tastes like mouthwash? Is that some book? Uh, some book, some of it
can taste like, but then most of it's like an aniseed taste and it's disgusting. Um,
but you're saying it's disgusting. But when I used to go, Joey, do you want, yeah, because
I'd have to, no, because the shit that you would have got, but yeah, yeah, yeah. No,
no. Yeah. Cause I was manning up. Yeah. No, no, you, you are right there. But I have
to admit like how dawning was it when someone used to come with, I could try 20 San Buco's
and there's five lads up and you're doing the numbers in your head, like 20, 20 San
Buco's. Yeah. Five lads. I mean, that means I've got four and I don't want none of them.
So I have to go to every now and again. Do you want this one? Give it. Then you used
to give me the glass back and pull it off. We used to ask Adam a lot as well. Yeah. He
used to like that. Well, the worst would always be when fucking Mr. Army would be around and
it would be brought lads, give us a four back because this is how cheap shots used to be.
Yeah. And these were these apple sour bollocks things. So it would be at least one tray full
of shots. Yeah. And it was that many, you wouldn't even be able to calculate how many
you was having. You'd have to do them one at a time. And it was ridiculous. Cause I
remember the one time with the raver, there was literally the two trays on one round.
It was literally about 40 shots, wasn't it? Probably even more. Probably even 40 shots.
I mean, the thing is we had no end goal. I can imagine just having those shots. This
would be a fucking four o'clock on a Saturday. Sometimes. Cause it would be, cause as soon
as we'd get there, he'd be wanting to get shot on the shots. You know what? You were
all, I remember when we went out for his birthday and we dressed up. It's in my head now. You
said Sam Berger night, you know, you just taste it and smell it. Yeah. But yeah. So
it was on his birthday. Do you remember, I'm your dress door for his birthday. Two of them
had the more suits. Two of us had the ghost buster suits. Yeah. What was you wearing?
When I'm the ghost, what's the one? No, no, no. I can't remember. I can't remember. But
there was anyway, there was four of them. I know I've dressed as a ghost buster before.
Was it when we went to the free seats? Was I the joker? Was it that not? No, no, no. So
we went to Raven first. And that, cause you just remind me, cause it's what you said then
about the shots and it was like two o'clock in the afternoon. Cause we met there for 12.
Got up really early, went to the cafe, went all the way up to, I can't remember where,
some costume shop, got these more suits, got these ghost buster things. And I can't remember
what everyone else got. Anyway, I straight back down, got changed, shrank into it, got
to the fucking, the Raven, walked in there and I was like, like try shots in front of
you and look two o'clock. I can't remember actually, I'll use my own there. I can't
remember that particular time though, because you know, it's, it's a blur thing. So this
is a man that I'd be spending pretty much all weekends, every week with him. So when
he couldn't get out of camp for the weekends, I'd finish work on the Friday, have more
bag of clothes with me already, drive there. I never get it as well, cause I'd be on the
phone with him while driving there and then I'd be spending the whole weekend with him.
Yeah. I mean, obviously we used to do all the time anyway, chatting the same shit over
and over.
Yeah, yeah.
Cause you know.
So I'd be driving there and then, cause see, no, not that I was holding the phone against
my ear, I'd always have it on loud speaker and then prop it under my t-shirt. So it's
wedged against me, between my shoulder and my ear.
So you weren't waving the law while you were saying it.
Yeah.
He's been a soap law.
I remember the once I was fucking tanking it as well. I'm dying for this beer. I could
taste it. I'm doing like 90 and then all of a sudden I could see the blue flashing lights
behind me. I'm like, fuck. I'm like, mate, I'm going to get pulled over. I've chucked
the phone on the fucking floor and I've moved to the middle lane and then the police cars
just bounced straight past me. My ass was twitching. I was like, mate, I'm 10 minutes
away. I'll see you in a minute.
Yeah.
And then they wouldn't have seen the phone. It was just cause I was walking speedy, but
obviously they were after someone bigger that day.
Someone a bit faster.
Yeah. Not in a graph plan as well, but then yeah, so we'd be, as soon as I'd get there,
cause he'd have the beers in the fridge ready and that anyway. So crack open the can. I'd
have a shower there, get dressed. We'd be out into town cause it'd be the same log.
There was a lot of free pub slash club. So there was like the weatherspoons, Yates's
and one was almost like a club. I can't remember.
I can imagine everyone starts off to the pub into the Yates's into the club.
Pretty much. Yeah.
Yeah. Weatherspoons or one of the normal pubs, Yates's and then whatever the other
place was. Cause Yates was open till like three o'clock in the morning as well. So didn't
matter if he was in the club or Yates and that. Yeah. So then it would be out all night.
Then whoever woke up first in the morning, cause again, you sleep in the same bed, you
know, not gay. Then whoever woke up first would wake the other one up with another beer.
So this would be fucking, you know, after like four or five hours sleep, nine o'clock
in the morning ish straight on it again. We'd walk into town, have a breakfast and then
still be drinking all day Saturday. The same thing that happened on the Saturday night,
that the clock, whatever. Then Sunday morning would be a repeat. Now because the clubs weren't
really open or the same sort of scene on the Sunday would stick to the pubs really. And
then Monday morning I'd be off driving back to Birmingham to go to work again for the
whole week. I must have done that probably almost every weekend for six months.
That sounds terrible. I'm like, do you reckon you could do that now? No, no. How far along
the line would you get? Um, so if you went out, I did a Friday night, why call have a
beer? I wouldn't be able to get straight on it. I'd have to have some food and just settle.
Yeah, I'd have to chin off the fast for that weekend. Um, and then yeah, have breakfast
at least. But if I'm getting in at four o'clock in the morning, I always still need that eight
hours sleep because otherwise I'm no good. Not having to sleep is worse than a hangover
for me. So I'd have to have the hour's sleep. So at least then we're already after 12. So
then quick scram and then, uh, then I'd be able to get back on it. I wouldn't be able
to do three days straight. Not, not that level of, uh, how much we used to drink. Not that
heavy. No, I remember the one time, um, it was Halloween and we wasn't even going to
go out, but we was like, Oh, we'll just pop out for an hour or whatever. Everyone, everyone
else is in fancy dress because it's Halloween parties on the, we're the only two mugs not
dressed up any. And as soon as we walked in, we've seen everyone's in a good mood. You
felt the void result. Roll it sound. We've got, uh, full double vodka, lemonades, so
two each. And then it was 20 sambucas and the plan was, um, to drink the, sorry, it
was 20 sambucas each. Uh, so the plan was to drink the sambucas within an hour as well
as the vodka, lemonades. So we could get on this cause he was like, yeah, he wanted to
get on the same level as everyone else. And, uh, fucking hell, that was the hardest round
of shots to ever do. I think we did give a couple of why cause we was, cause we was trying
to get it done within the hour. It was all in the first 10 minutes, bam, 10 a down yet
sound and then it was all, all right, I'm fucking feeling it already now. And it was
a struggle.
No shots are bad when you can't give them a whiny. Yeah. So, uh, yeah, fucking just
there's no need for it. There was no need for us to fucking. No need to wake up in your
hand in the beer, mate. Just relax a little bit. Have some, at least it waited 12 hours.
What I'm saying is get your sleep, go for food, then style again. You don't need to
be woken up like, oh boy, boy, lad. Yeah. But then that's why I'll do it back to him
as well. You know, obviously the revenge would be sweet, but then in that moment when he's
doing it to you, you've got to be like, yeah, but look, so if he was waking me up with a
beer, he'd be drinking one as well. So I'd have to do the same before working with, I'd
be drinking one as well.
Or as I said, I've never woke up and had a hair of the dog because it's not a thing.
It's a lot. We've established that on this podcast. No, see, because you've never done
it, you don't understand it.
No, I don't believe that. So the thing that's made you, no, I'm not going back in there.
I'm not going back there. But yeah, it's, so to answer the question, obviously we've
done our own thing and come full circle. It's the answer that is yours.
What are we on about again?
No, what I'm saying, sorry. No, what I'm saying is from the question, that's, you know, literally,
literally, that's what I'm saying. Like that's what, that's what we're just establishing
that that's the answer. Because, you know, we went a bit, I don't know how long that
was a 20 minute question.
That's all I was saying. I was just like, just clarified that we haven't answered the
question.
Yeah. Thanks for the WhatsApp on the hotline.
Yeah. So that was last week's cheers, Carl.
Yeah. So we'll go off it a little bit now. I mean, I'll just go on about general rants
and that shit traffic getting over here. But you know, if people want to listen to those
rants, it can go back on all episodes. You've actually got a couple of things that you do
want to talk about.
So the one being is creepy old men. All right. So
I don't know why you pointed at me while you're saying creepy old men.
I'm pointing like you're a future creepy old man. So what it is, right.
Just because I'm older.
So what it is in the morning, I get a coffee. No meat from McDonald's. It's on the way.
A bit cheaper. Perfect. But you know what? Get a Starbucks.
Treat yourself.
Treat myself Starbucks on a fucking Wednesday morning.
Sometimes you need it.
Yeah.
Whatever shit or whatever.
Yeah. Anyway, got there. And I know the geese was a creep because when it's an empty parking
lot, it's like a urinal situation. Yeah. You leave a space. You leave a space. So your
man next to me is parked right to Starbucks. Left the space. Third one. You know how it
goes. Next thing you know, as I'm walking over, I see this creep. Whole empty parking
lot, which is big van in slot number two. And I was like, I knew the geese were strange
from there.
Yeah. Because there's no need for it.
It's just weird. It's weird. I was like, when there's all those spaces, you just make it
easy for yourself. So you don't have to squeeze in and out of your own vehicle. That is now
it gets weirder. So Starbucks, I'm in the queue. I'm number one. Girl beyond the counter.
Now in the Starbucks, you line up a certain way because to the right of you, there's a
ballad. Yeah. Right. So I'm facing her. She's at the counter. Go over my order. Scan the
phone.
As I'm doing it. Bonus points. Yep. Gold member. As I'm doing it, the man comes around the
ballad bit, leans over, like in my space, just to make contact with the girl behind
the counter. So she kind of like half ignores him, but she's kind of like that way. She
kind of comes across as a bit moody, but she's in, I'm not saying she's a moody bitch, but
she does come, the man is that way anyway. Yeah. So does a job, starts doing my drink
as you should. I've ordered, doing my drink. Yeah. Cause they tend to do that, especially
in the morning when it's a bit quieter. They'll just have the one barista. So it will be,
you pay for it. Then they'll go and make you and then they'll bring it back and serve the
next person. Won't they? So not only did he invade my personal space, book him this ballad
and he had his own, you know, your own cup sometimes that you can take to Starbucks.
He puts that on the counter, like literally right in front of me. As if to say book him.
Yeah. He's trying to get this, trying to get these girls attention basically. Yeah. Starts
doing my drink. And then when the lads comes out, then takes his order. Then he leans over
the counter, like big pressing against the counter. Like, and he's like morning hon.
I'm like, don't be a creep man. Just fucking, you know what I mean? Like, yes, don't beg
me. I was just like, and then like, she's like morning, like doing a job. Yeah. Making
my drink. Yeah. And then after she gives me, you know, which there you go, you know, at
the end of the counter and I could see him like then like he quickly ran all over to
her and said something. I didn't catch it. Cause I just fucking was out the door. Yeah.
Why is this guy, he's a creep. And he reminds me that I can imagine some bar mates probably
get it down the local pub, you know, with the old guy that's ugly, aggressively flirty,
I would say. Yeah. Yeah. Overkill. Yeah. But like I knew he was a creep as soon as he parked
in that second parking spot. I'm like, got a whole parking lot, mate. Have some, have
some decorum. And then he presses big press against the counter just the same morning.
It's the equivalent guy. Yeah. No, it's the equivalent of when someone's doing your chips.
Yeah. And you nick a chip over the counter. It's not needed. It's fucking, it's not, you
can't be that impatient to wait for a fucking chip. No, no. Just, just because some girl
inside morning to you. Like you have to morning. So I'm guessing she's probably 19 to early
twenties. So she's 20 something. Yeah. So she's a younger girl and he's probably touching
50. I would say probably over 50, but yeah. Fucking yeah. So you just hear, well, like
cause he, she didn't say morning to him. Like eye contact. He had to go out of his way to
say morning. Just couldn't let it go. Whatever. He's just weird old man mentality. But yeah.
So that, that I was just like, I remember thinking like one of the only times I've left,
I'm like, I've got to talk about this in the podcast because I see it all the time. Like
shit that just not necessarily. Like if I went there every day and I want someone to
serve me, but someone else served me and disperse in the same morning, I wouldn't go morning.
Like just invade my space. You wait until you make the eye contact. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah. But like you can see, you could see that it was probably, we could agree and she
didn't want to make eye contact with him. And I understand why. Um, but yeah, he just,
I said, as soon as you parked in, I mean, Ford focus, the lad in the border Ford focus
sweet. Yeah. My car in the third bag. Yeah. And he comes in this big fucking like transit
van that's cleared out to be like a camper van. I'm like, geez is weird, mate. It's better.
Like just have some decorum. I didn't go in there. She ain't going nowhere. Yeah. Apart
from the wife from here. Yeah. Apart from when she's doing my drink. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
So that's it, mate. And honestly, it just, he fucked me off in the morning, but the drink
was banging after me. Well, she put the extra effort into it because she was trying to avoid
it. Spend more time doing it. Yeah. Yeah. It's nice to see you have a little ramp for
a change. Yeah. I'm due by, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Well, I have my little ramp before we started
the episode, which, um, but it wouldn't have been much gold for the listeners at home to
be fair. Cause there was not much different from the usual ones really. Um, and then you've
got another topic that you want to talk about. I think we should get onto that before we
go into conspiracy corner. I want to take, right. So anyone that's had a young kid or
has got a young kid or like, or nieces and nephews being around young children, not in
a Nancy way. Right. Of course. So right now, one thing that always bothered me about when
I fall about having the kids, TV, they're going to have fucking shit on the TV. But
they're absolutely bangers that they've got on. No. I mean, I suppose everyone's heard
of it. The court super simple. I think these are the ones that I've done baby shark. So
you know, the drop the bangers, right. I put it on for me, like just for the tunes, my
honestly, the remodeled our work, honestly, I'm not going to sing one, but like, honestly,
it's it's like, well, no, cause we'll get copyrighted. Yeah. We did. I mean, I'm worried
about that. Yeah. But so anyone that's ever heard these songs, but not how I catch the
art and they're in your head or that. And so is it just songs that are playing or is
he actual little program? So the one I watch is like, it's like an hour's worth of songs.
So like the songs run two to three minutes. Okay. But I have the characters to have finished
the shark. I don't know if we're going to cap for all of that, you know, all the songs
are available. But yeah. Sorry. Just got off track there. Sorry. Yeah. So anyone that's
had kids would understand how I catch these songs and I just stay in your head like nonstop
or that's the point. When I come up, I put them on just to get them out, just to get
them out of my head. Right. So we know that you love the kids songs, but what are the
kids programs like these days anyway? So my bluey, to be fair, I've put it on, I've left
it on the TV all day for the dog because it's dog friendly. Yeah. I've not, I've not watched
it. So are they worth, is it tolerable to sit there and watch it as well? Especially
with the bluey ones because they have jokes that only parents will understand. So like,
you know, some episodes of the simpsons, you never get the jokes until you're older. Yeah.
The cheeky innuendoes. Yeah. So it's a bit like that. So are we going to see bluey on
a Nickelodeon style documentary in a couple of hours? Keep bluey exposed. I hope not.
But no, they have like an underlying meaning like, um, she's sister who's the mom in it.
She can't have kids. And so bluey's asking her, why can't she have kids? Well, she's
not asking her why can't she have kids. She's saying why she, why can't you just have them?
She's like, sometimes you can't get what you want. So it's like, you know, like teaching
kids stuff like that. Yeah. Trying to give messages. Yeah. I feel there's a new season
coming out soon, which everyone's looking forward to because there's a wedding on there.
Okay. But mate, honestly, bluey is top tier. Like, all right. Can people clarify this for
me? I like bingo more than bluey, which is bluey's sister in it. Okay. Can we just agree
that bluey's a beloved bitch in it? Or is it just me? But anyway, yeah. So any of the
listeners at home that have got kids that know what ash is on about, give us your thoughts.
Um, see, cause so like, go on, sorry mate. No, I was going to say, obviously when we
was kids, I remember there was bangers booking good programs for when we was kids. Yeah.
But like, I feel like she's not there yet in terms of, because she's not, she watches
it for the colours. Obviously she doesn't register. But like, maybe when she's like
four, five, she'll start to understand and grasp. And like, and then she'll have more
cartoons to watch. So yeah, you'll be starting Pokemon off when she starts understanding
what's going on with that anyway. It's killed me as well. All right. So Pokemon's on BBC
now it's on the oil plan. They've only got 20 episodes and like the releasing. So we
had it before America, which is like the first time ever. But like the dropping like six
episodes every fucking six weeks. And so just fucking put them all on there. It's trying
to do the fucking, the Netflix store. Oh yeah. Why? Because, because Pokemon's on Netflix
in America, it's just like, why give you love so early? If you've got to follow Netflix,
oh fucking me off with that. It's not the same. Anyone that watches that as well. No,
it's not the same. I've not watched any of the new ones. You just got to watch it though,
because it's, well you have to be nostalgic. You got to be the best. Also on the Riley,
the Pokemon Johto theme tune, because growing up you always fought the first one. Yeah.
Cause again, it's the, it's just the memories that are there. As soon as you hear it, and
don't get me wrong, it's a fucking absolute bang. Probably the best opening theme to a
cartoon. I don't want to hear otherwise, but I think people have like, I think we'll have
to do a list. Oh yeah. Not now, but I think mine would be all Pokemon. But what I'm saying
is because that was such epic as a kid from Pokemon Johto. Everyone was just like, I feel
up with sleeping on it. Cause honestly, just it's got a fucking great fucking opening tune
as well. A few of them have actually. Diamond and Pearl had a good one. This new one's a
bit shit. But yeah, no, I've not watched this all. I'll take you for it. But no, yeah. She,
but I can't wait. Sorry. Let me get my words out. I can't wait till she's actually engaged
in cartoons. Cause as soon as she logs Pokemon, fucking stars at the beginning, that's it.
We'll go for these thousand three episodes. Yeah. Thousand and 300 episodes again. Easy.
Yeah. Cause when I used to look after my niece when obviously a little baby and now she's
fucking 80 16 now, but I think that was a period of just dead children's TV, like fucking
in the night garden. Absolutely horrendous. Like Macapacca, blight and drug dealer, riding
around with his little red blankie, fucking going to see everyone. He was dropping off
bags of gear. Fucking the tweenies. That was before then anyway, but I remember that was
like, as we got out of childhood program sort of thing. Was my daughter an explorer back
then as well, wasn't it? Yeah. Fucking, cause even Teletubbies, we was too old for Teletubbies
as well. Stuff like that. There was probably like 20 years of just dead kids. Well, I'm
saying 20 years now that you're saying that the bangers looking. Well, I'm just saying
this one, so this cartoon, it's more like a sort of simple, super simple. Isn't a cartoon
as such to have characters, but it's more like songs. So it's, you know what I mean?
It's more like a, yeah. It's where it blew it. He's top tier. Okay. I'll have to get
it all on the back catalog for when I do eventually have kids myself. I've put it on for the dog,
but he doesn't care what's on the TV. I tend to leave on old TV too. Average throughout
the day. We've put stuff onto the dogs. Like they're going to watch them. Like I would
be like, no, no, no, no, no. And then something that I think I'd watch, I go, there you go.
Like he got the same taste as me. Like, well, I do notice him sometimes looking up at the
TV and I think, is he enjoying this? Like the way that I am or not, if I'm not enjoying
it or, yeah, it's a, I mean, they do have the emotions anyway. I've seen the TikTok
videos of, uh, well when a dog's watching the Lion King and it's all scared, like at
the same time, you know, spoiler alert, Simba's dad, he's fucking getting chinned off the
fucking cliff by his uncle. Um, someone like, no, 30 years old. I mean, there's gotta be
a time limit on a spoiler alert to be fair right now. I think 20 years is long enough.
I mean, it's longer than 20 years. I need to fucking know. I remember he come out and
my brother, it was my brother's favorite movie and he, it's 20 something, 25 maybe. It's
long enough though. Yeah. It's long enough for a spoiler.
So yeah, we'll get onto, uh, the old correspondence again now then. Um, I have got notes from
weeks ago that I said, I haven't said anything, but there's no time for it now. We've got
to get back to the old correspondence. Um, we'll get James out of the way. We've fucking,
uh, trying to give me stick. Um, yeah, lads, you can't even beat Brentford's. How'd you
think we, uh, you can win when it counts. Uh, we'll, we'll see you again on Sunday,
mate.
Can I just say I'm not a Manu fan. Cause he said lads like I'm a part of this group. No,
no, I don't like Manu as well.
He didn't say lads. He said lads.
Oh, did he say? Oh, sorry.
It was probably just about something.
Yeah. No, yeah. Fuck.
He was just talking to me.
Yeah.
Definitely.
I'm not sure.
Yeah.
We'll, we'll deal with it again next week.
Um, I didn't even watch the game last night. I'm sorry. I'll put it on. Uh, I'll put it
on the TV in the bedroom cause quarter past eight kickoff. It's past my bedtime anyway.
Literally watch just concede two goals, turn it off. And then, uh, cause I wasn't actually
asleep still saw half time to two. And then I didn't look at my phone again until this
morning when I got up. So it was four, three hours or, or, oh yeah, whatever. I'm glad
I didn't stay up, especially considering it was fucking, uh, what was it? Not 10th, 10th
and 11th minute of stoppage time after the full 90 that we've conceded. So I'm glad I
think I would have woke up completely.
Um, my new play Liverpool next to that.
On Sunday.
So, you know, I expected Liverpool to win James just to give it.
I'm ready for it. Um, I mean, it's all the pressures on Liverpool anyway.
You're doing that mind game. He's doing that mind game.
The sitting on top of the table, Man City getting all the easy games, you know, Aston
Villa putting out half a squad the other night, you know, just handing them the three points.
Uh, they might as well have just not turned up. Uh, you know, you know, um, you know,
the count from fucking, uh, Sesame Street won.
You know, he, he, uh, deserved an Oscar in the oven or from fucking the way he was like,
Oh no, we've conceded another goal. Oh no. Fuck off, man.
Fucking so, you know, as well as, uh, so half teams put out against them, all the refereeing
decisions go in their way as well.
Man City are going to be fucking creeping up anytime. Um, so yeah, it's Liverpool's
to lose. So they have to come and win.
Um, I don't even know where the game is to be fair. I don't know if it's at Anfield or
at all.
That's on Sunday. So yeah, James, mind game started there. So yeah, we'll see Sunday.
Yeah.
Uh, I do fancy report though. I must admit, but yeah,
They have to win. Now, you know, I don't got nothing to lose. So, uh, it's, it's down to
the players. The end of the day, obviously, you know, saying a lot of Mark along in there,
whoever scores the most wins.
Fucking, but, um, yeah, it's whether the United team fucking actually want to turn
up because obviously they didn't want to against Brentford. They did against Liverpool the
other week. That's what they're beta. Um, but then, yeah, if they don't want to, uh,
this weekend, then they'll get fucking battered again.
So yeah, we'll see, uh, what happens on Sunday.
Come on. So Lauren's emails, uh, so this is referencing. So you've got a, you've got a
smirk on your face. This is referencing some of the bands that I was coming out with last
week because you referenced the documentary about, um, the domestic violence. Yeah. And,
uh, so Lauren says, I'll get it JD sometimes or speeches be crazy.
That's probably the tourist email or correspondence we've had. Yeah. Yeah. Um, yeah. She's got
the, uh, she's got the real talk.
Sometimes bitches do be crazy. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Fucking, but that was a little bit too
crazy. Obviously referring to the TV show that is. Yeah. I've got a fucking, it's been
a long week this week. Uh, so I mean, I won't even have time this week, uh, weekend to watch
you cause grafting tomorrow. Yeah. Um, so that was that, uh, that's not a new one. Um,
so we've got one from an old fucking, uh, so correspondent, but, um, I don't know, there's
a word that I can't think of, but Mike message. Um, so all right, chap. Sorry. It's been a
while. It's okay, Mark. Don't worry about it. Most, uh, you just triggered a response
from me, uh, though with the child beatings, uh, cause again, cause we mentioned, yeah,
I told a different, I'd get a slap for fucking no reason or whatever. And that log, uh, so
he says there's a divider between the inmates on the situation, mainly down to circumstance
though. So if it's domestic violence, then it's usually from an innocent child being
beaten, which isn't acceptable. Uh, on the other hand though, when it's down to a lack
of respect or fear factor, uh, log, literally what he says, love you put it, uh, then it's
absolutely fine. Then he says, no, this is a hundred percent a generation thing though.
Uh, but the lads that know, no. So yeah, basically along the lines of what we were saying that,
uh, you know, our age and older understand that fucking if they needed a slap, they got
a slap. Um, and I suppose, yeah, if the younger, they don't fucking get it. Um, cause they're
probably fucking in there for being a gobby cunt anyway. Uh, well yeah, that good to fucking
hear off you Mark anyway. Um, hopefully he's got some more stories for us again soon then.
Uh, more reach around fucking inmate hand jobs and shit. Uh, and then let's get the,
get up the hotline again. Uh, 07 470 4808 096, uh, sending you messages. Um, and then,
so this will be the last one. Uh, abs was, well I just gone, Oh no JD, how did you break
your ankle? Cause obviously that's how we ended the fucking episode. Cause my uncle's
on fire. So, uh, I've not broken it. It was just, uh, the last night of when I was away
last week, um, it was pitch black and I've just fucking not seen the big pot hole, which
was almost like the Mariana trench looking. Yeah. Obviously my foot wasn't on, uh, didn't
land on it properly. It was like off on and I've just fucking rolled my ankle down it.
And, uh, I think, I think it was the fucking ligaments or something that's fucking torn.
So not a break anyway. Uh, otherwise I wouldn't have been able to walk around still hurts.
Um, but I'm walking around anyway. That's the main thing. So I was a graft is she done?
Um, which aside, luckily it was the last day of literally the night before. Cause otherwise
I did fucking loads of walking. Um, it goes to show, cause I don't know if you get it
with your phone as well, but Google maps will give you, uh, a timeline of the month before.
So it was say, look, you've drove to here and back and whatever, and how much walking
you've done and stuff. And it's sad because I didn't have any signal. I couldn't, I couldn't
even get the map up properly when I wasn't connected to Wi-Fi to see where I was, to
know how far away I am to know where I'm going back. And I, so I just had to stick to the
fucking, the sea line basically. And right. Walk along. I've came from this direction,
walk back that way along the beach and I'll recognize where I'll come out from again.
And, uh, it said I'd only walk 25 miles, which I know 25 miles is still a lot of walking
a week, but, uh, I've no other more than that. So I think it's because he couldn't pick up
the signal properly. He doesn't know exactly how much I've done. But, um, yeah, the one
day at least was eight miles. Uh, not the M and M song or film. What was it? An album?
There was a film. Was the, was the, uh, maybe it wasn't it? Yeah. Eight miles was the movie.
You just got to lose yourself, Jay. Well, um, as long as, as long as I'm throwing up mom's
spaghetti, then I'll be all right. Um, knees deep. Don't be nervous. No, I'm going to hold
for cool. But, uh, yeah, your palms are a bit sweaty though. I am warm to be fair. I've
got the sun blasting in at me. You're all right. I'm not sorry. Yeah. Just catching the back
end of the shade. Um, so yeah, he definitely didn't pick it up. Right. I did more than
24 miles. Definitely. Uh, obviously if it would have happened at the beginning of the
week, looking forward to get walked around by the Mrs. She wouldn't have walked him nowhere.
Literally fucking, cause I had that fucking on the friday and then all weekend. Cause
she was taking him out. Just the huffing and puffing. I'm going to take him out. Cause
when I'm at home, when I'm at home around block, cause I'll take him out in the morning
cause you know, I'm up soon as we always were open. He's wanting to go out. And then around
two o'clock he'll start walking around, pacing a little bit because he's expecting to go
out again. And so I had that on Saturdays. He's fucking there. He's walking around his
pace and he's looking at me and then like, you'll look towards his collar as if to say,
we're going to go out, man. We're going to go out. And so then the Mrs. There, what are
you doing? And she, she gets up and she starts forcing him. So he wants to go out and she
knows he wants to go out, but she's just being lazy. I know she's holding out thinking, is
Jay going to actually get up and take him out there? You know, even though she's seen
me, I'm having to do the one step at a time going upstairs to have a piece of that. Fucking
the look at it. I've got banners at both sides. Not that I need it, but I needed it fucking
on the weekend anyway. So I'm there. I'm lifting my whole body weight just to go up one step
at a time. And I'm thinking, you know, I can't walk the dog. So don't fucking, don't even
entertain that thought in your head. But yeah, just the huff and puff. And I don't need it.
Just take the dog out for a walk. He needs to go out. Just fucking take him.
Which is be crazy.
Fucking yeah. She's lucky sometimes at times at different man. She definitely needs a slap.
But just remember if you are going to slap her, just backhand and not where bruises are
going to be visible. So, you know, on the hips, kidney shots.
Or use talcum powder so we don't bruise apparently.
Yeah, yeah. Because it's, you're not having a sweaty palm than I am. So not going to leave
a red mark. Yeah, because if you, if you're giving them panda eyes and they're having
to walk around with sunglasses on, they need to be on the, on the nose. Then I think it's
a bit obvious. So yeah, no strangling as well, unless that's what they're into. But yeah,
save that for the bedtime.
On that fucking cancelling kind of comments, we should leave it there. And we'll be back
next week. Don't forget emails, text messages, WhatsApps and all that. Send them in. We're
ready for them all. And yeah, keep listening to Blubber and the bangers. We'll see you
next week. Peace.