What's happening everyone this is the Real Talker Podcast and we are your hosts Ash and
JD. So it's been a bit of a quiet week this week really hasn't it? There's been nothing
gone. I know Kate has been spotted. I was going to say that's the only thing. Kate's
been spotted at a farmer's shop. Or was it her? Well we'll get on to that. Like I said
there's a conspiracy and everything nowadays. We'll get on to that in a little bit. St.
Patrick's Day was Sunday. I feel like there was something else that happened on Sunday
as well but I just can't really. I just can't put my finger on it. Look what we said from
the end of last week's episode anyway. We'll get straight on to the emails. Oh what's this?
We've got an email from James. Oh that's it! United! United! United! I honestly thought
we wasn't going to get an email or any correspondence from him. I honestly thought. Well James,
I was so tempted to just email straight away after the game had finished. Well St. Patrick's
Day was a bit too sad. I had a couple of pints of kinis. I didn't want to ruin it too much
for him. He might have been too sensitive at that moment. He definitely would have been
making that mercy a little bit more salty. He's come straight in anyway. When did it
get him out? It was on Monday. He's finished crying into his pillow with his Jürgen Klopp
little teddy bear next to him. Yeah Liverpool scar. Brought by his Steve Gerrard poster
on his bedroom wall as well. One of his walls in his bedroom is definitely red. Oh god.
He's started off with United were lucky. Do you think I'm a host? We will win in the
league where it matters. Right because that game is coming up in a few weeks if I'm not
mistaken. So three weeks maybe? Three weeks from last weekend I think you might have been.
Yeah because it's the international break as of the moment. So tonight as of this release
it is England against Brazil and then we've got Belgium on Tuesday I do believe. Have
you seen what they've done to the England kit on the back? Yes. Right on the St George's
Cross because I thought, I don't know if you had this in mind to bring it up on the podcast
because it's yeah. I mean to be fair I wasn't going to but might as well do now. So the
new kit that's coming out there's instead of the standard red St George's Cross on
the back of the collar isn't it? Yeah it's on the back of the neck isn't it? Yeah so
instead of it being red they've just made it multicoloured isn't it? So it's like inclusive.
Yeah well because it's got red, maroon, burgundy and then bits of blue in it as well sort of
so. Yeah I think Nike said it was a play for take on the St George's Cross. Yeah which
is fucking stupid to be fair. It's a word, it's a word because yeah it's a word sorry
yeah obviously I don't want to spend too much time on it but it's just a weird. Yeah it's
just a word. But then to try and take initiative on something why would it be that? Look whose
decision base it was like you know what I've got a brilliant idea and then told someone
that person was like fucking yeah that's fucking solid that is. I think it would be someone
that's just not give a fuck and not looked at the email and gone just wanted to tick
box. Yeah just do whatever we want the kit out. Now I did say a video earlier actually
I believe he was an Everton fan and he was all yeah obviously New England kits out, me
two lads all excited about it yeah dad we want the kit blah blah so he's gone onto the
Nike website. The two kits Home and Away so full t-shirt shorts socks Home and Away both
the names on the back with the number as well. Right. Have you got an idea of what that would
cost do you think? Not for the whole kit but I did see so for the actual replica kits are
the ones the players were wearing it matches was £125 just for the t-shirt. Yeah. And
then your what you would call I don't know what you'd call it but you know the ones you'd
buy from JD. Yeah it's just a casual one. I think was £80 by £79. I thought they were
£100. I might be wrong then. I thought that. I think them casual ones are £104 and then
the actual ones £120. Right right either way it's expensive. Yeah it's stupid. I can
see why most people get them from DHK and others just because it's just ridiculous price. Yeah
I mean for a t-shirt with a round button on the back whatever you want to call it. Yeah.
What do you think of the kit sorry mate before you. I like them I actually like the wiki
and I know a lot of people don't I actually like the wiki. It's alright. I've not been
that arsed I know we've said it enough times on the podcast I've not been that arsed about
the England. No. I suppose because I'm not really into watching England play at the moment
that's why I'm not fussed about the kit. I think most people are just generally bothered
when England play if it's for something this nations league they're friendly it's just
all the bollocks and that. Yeah yeah. They're just no one goes oh yeah the international
break I can't wait for fucking Wales versus Finland you know what I mean. Yeah. I know.
So yeah I suppose when it comes to the euros in the summer it is the euros I think. It
is the euros Germany yeah. Which also feels like it's been non stop at the moment in terms
of obviously with the last World Cup being in the winter time. Yeah. It feels like it's
been non stop like that hasn't. It has been and that all contributes to what has been
so many injuries for the majority of teams this season you know so that and the AR which
I'll get on to that in a little bit. Yeah so the chap two kids home and away for his
young lads now I'm on the back. I have no I can't I guess and the kids price is sorry.
Yeah it's kids kids. They probably said the name at the age of them. Yeah. You know it's
kids size. Well going off the adults I'm gonna say with the names in the back you're probably
over 220 quid 700 pound for four kids basically 700. I was doing it so more 200 quid for one
kid not far off there by 220. I said so I mean it's ridiculous. I mean ridiculous. You
know you think even when the PS4 first came out was cheaper than that. It's just and that's
like the stolen ones. I don't know how to adjust the 40s price. I don't know but there
has been abroad the room there's protests and that going on. I don't know what kind
of protest but you know I'm guessing it's the only way to do it is like an online petition
or something to get back to not to get its change back to a red St George's cross on
the back or something. But I mean to be fair I don't think I'm that bothered about it.
But yes I think it should be read. But yeah I'm not too forced. I think it's just another
thing though isn't it. I've obviously discussed stuff that's just unnecessarily put there
yeah for no reason and for no explanation besides a play for take. It's just like boy
yeah you know why is it just for a tick box is it just for whatever reason. Well hopefully
we'll hear some from them. Yeah we'll see in the next few weeks really because you know
it's going to be a big process back to the the drawing board. Yeah trying to figure out
what they can do how they can change it. Yeah. Yeah. It's something that's just too many
time to do it really. Oh yeah. Yeah. Okay. Let's just have the workshops of Vietnam.
Yeah. Let's order some red Fred Fowler. Yeah. Yeah. But yeah back to back to James and
Liverpool anyway. I think he is asked since he's coming out with that. I've absolutely
loved this week because all of my TikTok a good 80 percent has been Liverpool fan reactions
before and after. They're always the best. Yeah. The amount of them where it's like look
at this shit booking two one half time blah blah or ones even before the games even kicked
off and they're just fucking giving it and then you just scroll through the comments
and you've always got the top one this age while booking. You go through their profile
then just to see the lot their apology video basically. No God it's quality. There's a
drag I think I think he's channels the unfilled agenda. So to Liverpool fan channel. Yeah.
He's an Irish chat and he was just fucking the video that was going around because he's
like yeah you know what he's singing. Oh no no what's the score what's the score and then
he does that sponge while cooking one minute later and it's like right at the end he's
on the Arlo's when he's growing in his hands essentially and it's just been absolute pure
golden tic tocs one after another. It was a great game and I always remember there was
a point I think he might have been in the 80th minute. I think Liverpool had like a
four on two attack. Five on two. Do you know which one I'm on about? And it was Lindelof
and Dallow that was at the back. Yeah and I think I can't remember I think I'm not I
can't even remember what Liverpool play at the ball which ones attacking. I feel like
it was Gomez. No I think it was a was it Gaffer? Yeah. Yeah. Trolls Passy and he was just Redwell
yeah intercepted. But United weren't looking Liverpool were looking two deflections and
Salah hit the post from five yards house and he goes in so they were lucky with their goals
to be fair. But I mean the game itself for a neutral it must have been such a great game
to watch. It was all right. No because like when it was the end and then the extra time
it was like fucking tennis because it was back and forth back and forth. Yeah. You know
and then the way Senna's master class of unorthodox putting Anthony at let back. Aaron McGuire
as a striker. Bruno at centre back. You know just just master class tactics and Jürgen
Klopp. Klopp. Jürgen Klopp. He was just so bitter at the end. He loves it when he wins
but he's such a child when he loses. Because he snapped I believe he was a Danish reporter
didn't he? Yeah I don't know the reporter's name but you know I'll get it in a sense.
You've just been battered for your arch rivals and lost in the last minute of extra time
because your players couldn't put it away. We're going to lose James as listener. Oh
fucking man he loves it really. He can take you. Better than Klopp anyway. So yeah you
there for like 20 minutes afterwards. You've been asked the questions over and over and
out so you are going to get a bit pissed off. Yeah. But to react like that what I find annoying
is that you don't hear look I haven't heard any other mainstream media putting him up
on it saying that was out of order. You know fair enough you're not happy about the results
and that but you can't speak to another reporter like that. You know if that was any other
manager apart from Pep Guardiola it would be fucking front page news but because Klopp's
fucking final season, his swan song and that they're all just letting it go and yeah just
picking him up still. I have a feeling he's going to win Madrid next year. I have a feeling.
So manager song for an extra season. Yeah and sorry so the year after that so another
year season wise. Yeah. So summer 2024. Yes. 2024. Twenty four twenty six. Yeah. I could
see acne. Yeah I don't think you're ready. Wouldn't go back to Dortmund and I don't think
you'd go to Bayern Munich. Yeah. Yeah. Well the Galsman he's not going to carry on as
German manager after the Euro so maybe now. Yeah maybe he'll take over that which that
will be easy and we'll just not be going to be at Liverpool no more. Yeah. Yeah. So Pep
was still down for a couple more years and there's only one man that's going to replace
him and that'll be the Zinedine Zidane because we all know that Zidane can come in with an
open checkbook and world class players and win the Champions League. So you always think
Artela would take over for him. I don't know how that would work with how well he's doing
at Arsenal at the moment. That's why I think. I think Man City fans wouldn't be bothered
by that. Arsenal fans did just fucking just start burning t-shirts and all sorts. What
did Beckham after that sending off years ago. The 90s. The 90s where he kicks them off.
Yeah. They had the little gold forks with the David Beckham picture on them and burning
it at the fucking cross and all that. So yeah. Yeah. I'll take it around. They'll be doing
all that one night. So yeah. Now I think Zidane, he'll be the next Man City manager whenever
Pep does think, Oh yeah. I'm going to move on to another club that's got billions and
billions of corrupt money. Yeah. I think, well, this is just my thing for him. I think
he'll either become Spain's manager, but I know he's, is that. Yeah. I know he's that
anti likes because he's Catalonian and all that bollocks, but I think he'll go back to
Barcelona as well. If they become, you know, at the moment they're in a lot of debt. So
if they become financially stable. Yeah. It'd be interesting to see if he can do it on the
budget though. I really would love to see him try. I would look, I would look a few
managers actually try like, no, I don't mean like a badly team, you know, like a decent
team. Like who am I trying to say? I mean, I mean a decent team. So you're on about the
logs of someone coming into Brighton. Yes. Brighton is probably the perfect example actually.
Yeah. Because their recruitment is always spot on. Yes. The Zerbi is struggling this
season to be fair. And they've got decent players. They're always, they've always got
players that are getting sold to bigger clubs. Yeah. They've got the great scouting network,
you know, with Casalido. I think it was like four and a half million, you know, he could
have got him four, but it says no. So we went to Brighton and then 110 million. So yeah.
Fucking out one player. And he's only just starting to find his feet really at Chelsea.
But that's most of their squad really though, isn't it? Oh mate, did you, obviously because
we're talking about football, did you watch the Chelsea, the Chelsea game before? I had
it on and then basically after I went and took the dog out for a walk. Right. So I'd
miss most of the second half. I did the same with the Wolf Coventry game as well. Watched
the first half. Then I went out. But then I did catch the extra time. That was quite
a good game to be fair as well. The Chelsea Leicester game was a good game. And I watched
Raheem start it. I'm like, he's so good from my perspective off the ball, like running
into, not saying he runs up and down, I'm saying like the space he runs into. He's always
gets in these one on one positions. He always fucking misses them. And I think what made
him overshadow that was the Rashford miss. So it's not getting spoke about, but mate
he's free kick. Honestly like, well it's still in the air, isn't it? It's just fucking. Look,
what I'm trying to say is yeah, is I'm 300 and something grand a week. You give me that
ball. I'm doing, I'm doing better than that, mate. Yeah. Like more, I'm doing better than
that. I mean, fucking, I couldn't believe it. How far and moidy it went, mate. You weren't
handsome at all. I'm funny. Just shocking how bad a lot of these players are. Especially
when it is a dead ball situation as well. No, I'll get it. The atmosphere of the stadium
and all that, it's always going to influence things, but you know, it's fucking, it's something
that you're practicing every day. Yeah. And the thing that I never understand is have
you ever seen Raheem starting to ever take a free kick the edge of the box and go to
the top corner? No. So like why when he's got more pressure on him, which is, you know,
you know, which, you know, I like in a way cause he's taking it. He's grabbing in your
mind. You get what I'm saying. So you've got to respect that enthusiasm from him, but you
know, you just got to let it go sometimes and not chase it. Cause you're not going to
call that top corner lad. Yeah. Because there's other players with more of a... That would
normally take you. Yeah. Yeah. Just got a better accuracy. But yeah, I mean, it was
unlucky for Leicester in the long run of that game, but I think it's just, it still just
showed that difference in the quality. Obviously Leicester got relegated for a reason last
season and yeah, Chelsea are sitting in the premier league. So I think that's just what
John threw at the end. But the Wolves' Coventry game, I did feel that was quite a good game
to be fair. Coventry definitely wanted it more as well. You could see in their energy
levels and the way they would just run around attacking and everything. So yeah, it turned
out as a good game and obviously we've lost draw it up for the next round. So is this
the last four now? Yeah. So semi finals. So who's Chelsea got? Man City. Oh right. Yeah.
Which Chelsea, they've had the number on City the last couple of games as well. So, you
know, it could be a little surprise final really. Yeah. Coventry Man City. Yeah. So
I can take it all up. At least we're in the semis. Liverpool. But yeah, back to all the
TikToks and that though. It's just been, it's literally, you wouldn't need to season your
chips all of this week with how salty it's been. It's just been horrendous. And it's
like all of a sudden, no Liverpool fan cares about the FA Cup. Yeah. And I remember them
saying it last season about winning the Carabao Cup and yet they've won it this season. So
yeah, we're on for a quadruple. To be fair, it is like with most football teams though,
fans, the off the court, it's only worth playing if you're winning it, if you've won it. Do
you know what I mean? Because you know, that Carabao Cup, League Cup is a load of bollocks.
It doesn't, they should fuck that off. It doesn't mean anything. I know it should be
based on like teams outside the Premier or something, I think. Yeah. Or I think they
were looking at doing it before where it was like not including the top six or something.
Yeah. So maybe if you qualify for Europe, you don't qualify for that because you did
that instead obviously. Yeah. Just to get something a bit different on the go. I mean,
it's always the same teams winning it, isn't it? Well, it's like the league though, you
know, Man City, I think they've won it four times out of six. Yeah, Pep loves the Carabao
Cup final. No, so I'm going to bet the Premier League with the five times out of six. I think
they've won five leagues out of six at night. It's something like that. He's done well.
Yeah. So I'm trying to think of who the last one was now. Well, it was Liverpool in 2009
same wasn't it? You know, that long ago, mate. I know. Fucking struggle. Sitting on 19 as
well. And I read it. So Jürgen Klopp's only won one Premier League in nine years. And
I heard Danny Mills, you remember him as a player? Yeah. Saying that he's a good manager
basically, but it's not great. Yeah. One Premier League in nine years. Yeah. Saying how he's
been over 80 Jürgen Klopp. I get where he was coming from. But at the end of the day
when you're up against Manchester City with all their fucking powerhouse literally is
an open checkbook. And as I was saying last week, the referees are just fucking in the
pocket all the time as well. So you're going to struggle. Well, I'm sure Liverpool has
won obviously the Premier League, the Champions League, the League Cup and after won the FA
Cup one day Jürgen Klopp. After won the Super Cup. I'm sure they won the Super Cup as well.
Yeah. And they won the World Cup, you know that one. Yeah. So Klopp's won every trophy.
If he's won the FA Cup, he's won every trophy available to him. So surely that's success.
It is yeah. Even without the FA Cup. Sorry to put you in there Jack. Yeah. No, because
I was just going to say that's why the Scousers want him to win the Europa League because
that's the only one that he hasn't got because there haven't been any. Oh, so it's like,
right. He's got everything. Yeah. But yeah, we'll see how the game goes in the league
in a couple of weeks. You know, I can take losing in the league. Basically Liverpool
need to win that game more than United do because they're the ones that are struggling
to win that Premier League this year. When you need to get a top four, potentially top
five though. Yeah. Dependence. We won't go into all that details, but potentially, you
know, yeah, it could be a win that must have been for both teams. It will be. But you know,
we've asked some veteran Tottenham. It's their position, like fourth and fifth to lose as
well really. Yeah. But I don't know. I feel that Liverpool, there's more on that game
for them. You know, because Arsenal are sitting, even though it's level on points, Arsenal
sitting top comfortably on goal difference as well. So yeah, I feel like Arsenal are
going to be the ones that do it really. It's bad to home. We had a decent running and I
say that in terms of more than one or two teams battling. So we can go. I can't think
of the last time it was three teams. Yeah. A wind draw or loss for your team. The other
side, you know, it can make or break it. And you just tell him points. I mean, if Villa
would have won against West Ham last week, then they were still in a shape of finishing
first really. But I mean, obviously that would have been hard, unlikely still. But you know,
I think there would have only been three points off a city. But yeah, 10 games left of the
season. It's going to be a good end, I think. We've got Brentford, Chelsea and then Liverpool
as our next three games. So yeah, easy on points, I think. And that'll keep us in running
for fifth anyway. Yeah. Hopefully, James has been able to wash the tears out of his pillow
anyway.
Yeah.
Have his Liverpool, you know, like, you know, like Dubai set. He's got one of the little
Liverpool badge rugs at the bottom. Yeah. With his football slippers. So we're just
going to last week's correspondence now that we didn't have time for, or we're just going
to jump into... Well, I mean, we will carry on with emails in a moment. Since we briefly
touched on it, Kate and Will spotted at the Farmers' Shop. So have you seen the footage?
I've seen a picture, not the footage. So going off of what you have seen, do you think it
was hard? I mean, you know what it is? You know on TikTok, and you just want them to
play the video. You don't want to go like someone down here with one of these little
mics, this is Kate Williams. I'll play the video in a second. Just play it. Just play
it then talk, Barley. And they want to talk for like a minute. I'll play in a second.
Just play it.
I can't believe you haven't seen it then.
No, no, because as I said, it winds me up. Because I'm like, nah, fuck you then. They
should say, oh, check this video out. What do you think? Play it. And then I'll think
this. But look, they want to give you their opinion and their take on it and then play.
It fucking winds me up.
I know what you're saying. If it's anything like that, I'll skip forward.
Yeah. No, I was just like, nah, you ain't getting the view, mate.
Well, I've seen the footage and it looks nothing like that. So obviously it looks like that,
but it's not the case.
So what's the conspiracy, mate? Because as you know, we've established on this podcast,
there's a conspiracy and everything.
Yeah.
What are they saying? Because I've heard some think about having an affair from both ends.
Yeah, because it came out a couple of years ago that Will was getting pegged by Kate mate.
But male?
No.
Look, pegging.
Yeah. So Will loves getting pegged.
And it's Kate's friend that does it.
How do they even know that?
I don't know.
But the peg, like, the boy going into so much stuff, like he loves getting pegged.
Because apparently Kate wouldn't do it and she was like, look, my friend.
What does she know?
Yeah, yeah, because her friend is like a dominatrix.
Right.
And so, yeah, I don't know if pegging was the actual thing, but because this dominatrix
was coming round, obviously people putting two and two together and getting strapped
on.
But yeah, this pegging friend is apparently the one that Will's had the affair with. He
got her pregnant.
Right, because that's why everything put the pegging story.
And then it's Will's cousin. I'm going to say Beatrice, but I don't know. Obviously
I've done my homework for this. But her husband, as I said last week, apparently Kate and her
husband was having an affair. And so then Kate got pregnant. That's why she was in the
hospital in November or whatever. And then the one who she had the affair with, he was
found dead. Allegedly it was suicide, but apparently there was fucking blunt force trauma,
a big fucking cave in his head where he's been hit. Which again, allegedly it was Will
that had done that. And then, yeah, so I don't know. It's like she's been locked up in the
Tower of London because of everything that's going on. So yeah, she's hiding somewhere
or she's locked up somewhere.
Because the weird thing is with all these videos and conspiracies going around, you
would just do a public appearance, open up a co-op, just to fucking shut up the room,
is that it?
Yeah, if you was able to get out of your restraints.
Like if everything was all kosher in it.
Yeah. No, I did save a video. So this one, someone's done the research. This is one of
them gazes that you've looked at.
But anyone that watches Tik Tok knows what I'm about. I'm not going to show you a video
in a second. Just play the fucking video.
So this one's actually whoever's video it is originally, he's just floating over the
top of you. But someone's done the research and have found the Instagram page of Gabriella
Monroe Douglas. And so her page is Kate Lookalog. So you know that you have the lookalogs. It
was always the better ones. So that's her job. And when he was scrolling through the
Instagram page, there's pictures of her doing appearances as Kate doing whatever. And basically,
look, I won't play the video because, you know, it's not benefiting people listening
to us really. But essentially, he shows the video of Will and Kate walking along in this
farmer shop. And then it goes back to the pictures of the lookalog. And it's her.
Looks more like the lookalike than Kate.
Yeah, because you can see that I'm surprised she's got a job as a lookalog to be honest,
because she doesn't really look like her. But she's similar. But you know, that's like
one blonde looks like another blonde. It's just they've got the same hair, similar facial
features, but the face is a different shape. This the lookalog is skinnier as well. And
yeah, you can see that from the video that it's a skinnier person. The face is slimmer,
different features, even though it's this what cracks me up as well. It's it's not like
it's a mile away or something. It's just like, I don't know, 20 meters away, but it's a
blurry video. It's not. Everyone's got a good phone these days. We have a good camera. And
yes, someone's recording the new Afanakia 3210. Yeah. Why is playing snakes? So yeah,
if you want to go out and have a look, Gabriella Monroe Douglas, and literally does just say
Kate lookalog. And she has got a website as well. Kate Middleton lookalog.com. So go check
it out. You'll see who it is yourself. But yeah, I don't know. I don't know why they
won't let it just make a little public. That's what I'm saying. Just open up a co-op. But
I mean, again, there's there's reports that the King's Doored as well. But you know, it's
I don't know. It's it's hard. We've we've had AI's and everything. No, it's hard to
know what's fucking real and what's fake. So yeah, because there was a an ominous picture
of King Charles released the other day as well. So that's why there was a video floating
around all these dates because this isn't really him. This is an AI generated picture
again and blah, blah. So yeah, it's I don't know. Again, Sam is fucking Garasaka. I don't
care enough about the Royal Family to want to know. But yeah, there is conspiracy going
on. And I don't know, maybe the getting ready to go back to the homeworld or something.
You know, lizard people like that aliens. Well, we'll have to try and find out a bit
more. Obviously, I'm getting these videos on TikTok. So if I do get a decent enough
one that's worth making notes and giving us the data, then I will do. Otherwise, there
hasn't been anything good enough. Right, so now we will get on to the correspondence
now. So I don't know what order any of these were in now, to be honest. But I will start
off alphabetically, because that's why I've got it on my notes. So we've got Abby. Hi,
guys. JD, since you're a grafter. Wait, everyone knows my can't under the graph. What is the
proper etiquette? She's asking for some real divorce. It's a good question. So what is
the proper etiquette when contractors are working inside my home, back to have some
work done to want to make sure I'm not going to annoy them. So first thing, Gabby, great
question for love wanting to make sure she's not going to be a knob or anything. First
thing, put a catalog off for a cup of tea. Can't go wrong there. And if you do that,
you're going to be in the good book straight away. So in terms of any kind of work may
be coming in. Cup of tea, even if it's a plasterer. Yeah, any even the plumber, even the plumber.
Because you got to put the catalog before the turn of water off as well. Right. Yeah,
as soon as you do that, you that's a little a nice little green tick on your page then.
If it's a Friday, don't be sure to offer him a bacon sandwich. No, the most I know why
on a Friday, because it's always better to have a bacon and sausage sandwich on a Friday
any wrong, you know, every day of the week starts for Friday, you're going to be more
more on for you. So what I'm saying is what we've gathered so far is you've got to pay
him and feed them don't have to. But it's it's better to it. Yeah. Because if you're
going to try and be cheeky and ask for a little extra here and there, if you've been making
tea all day and you make a sandwich, yeah. Yeah. And, you know, because I've done it
in the past, but you know, in the past, you know, making the tea, even I'll do I say my
own kettle and everything because my customers don't even offer don't even point out where
the kettle is or anything. So always have to make sure I got my own stuff. But yeah,
when they're making the tea all day and very rare, I'll accept the sandwich because we
when I did it, well, that's these days anyway, because with the intermittent fasting, I'll
save the milk for the no time really. But when I have done it in the past, I have the
most cheeky little bacon sandwich or whatever. Then yeah, you are more willing look, oh,
while you're here, could you just have a look at this? And then, you know, if you change
your look, fitting or whatever, you just end up doing it. Yeah, you don't want but when
it's the other ones that are just rude, don't offer a tea in the way. Not asking stupid
questions all the time trying to say, Oh, yeah, always got odd do it like this. Right.
But you can't know the one thing that I've known from you is when people try to change
their mind halfway through that, that's annoying. So she should probably stay away from doing
that. Yeah. So depending on well, because she hasn't said what work is having done.
So depending on what you're having done, you know, if it's a kitchen, you should already
have the plan, what the kitchen is going to be, how it's going to look and said nothing
should change. And if it's paint and decorating, then hopefully she's already decided on what
colours what wallpaper whatever, because that's annoying. If you painted a whole room and
the lot, then you've got to do it again, you've got to think of the tradespeople's work schedule
when you're changing your mind halfway through, because then that means you got to change
your own schedule, change your plan, put the job back because you got to spend the day
on it. Yeah, whatever. So that's what I was gonna say. So in regards to her question as
well, what should we? What should she be thinking of a work, working day time? Because I know
you don't do seven, you don't get started seven down here. Yeah, no, if these people
are taking a piece, if they're turning up at nine, 10 o'clock, that's when I say I'm
in leaving it all to free. I was gonna go to another job. Yeah, don't accept that. I'd
fucking literally if they did that on day one, I'd be like, you know what? Forget about
it. I'll get to my house. The other jobs always an old lady. I've got an old day. She's called
me or do you know what I mean? Yeah, which it can happen sometimes, but it's not every
day. So yeah, I wouldn't I wouldn't be accepting that. In general, you know, there should be
turning up at nine o'clock and then leaving at four or five. Right. So getting the full
eight hours in. Now, it does depend on what's being done. Because I know if there's something
that I can start, but it's going to take me three hours, and it's already three o'clock,
then I'll leave that for the next day. And I'll finish it a little bit earlier. But,
you know, as long as you get in a good look, you know, the best part about hours at least
anyway, done in the day, then that's sound. But yeah, I'd say just in general, straightaway
definitely catalog. You know, yeah, if it's a Friday, offer a sandwich if you can, as
I said, it depends on what paint on if it is the kitchen. You can't do that. Then you
order a sandwich and I suppose then yeah, as an alternative, you could always go to
the cafe. And just don't ask stupid questions. Well, leave them to it. Don't be in the way
because I had that years ago. It was when I was first on the tools when I was 16. The
customer was in the way, just constantly, just asking me questions. And I barely knew
anything back then as well. And so I was about to put lights above the sink in the bathroom.
And it was one of those old green bathroom suites, you know, the green sink, the bathroom,
it's all over now. Yeah. Oh, there'll be left to be desired in the way. Yeah. So I've got
the dust sheets, I've put it on top of the cabinet over the sink. Right. And the customers
give me this old hole punch, you know, for the paper when you you put in you, you punch
the holes in your paper and you put it in the folder. Right. He was giving me a big
massive old one of those metal things. And he says, Oh yeah, that'll hold your sheets
up. So put it up on there. And he's standing brought by the step ladders while I'm on it.
So as I've come down, I'm having to avoid him trying to lift the ladder to swivel it
around so I can get to a different position. And because he was there, I didn't have much
room. So I've ended up snagging the dust sheets, which in response has pulled the hole punch
down to crack the sink. Right. So the customers obviously not happy. I ended up getting a
bollocking because it was my uncle who put me through my original apprenticeship. He
gave me a bollocking and then I remember I started to walk home after I'd finished that
day. Because I was pissed off myself. And he rang me up then he was all wrong. Hang
on. So I spoke to Brian, what's happened? And so I told him exactly the same result.
Well, hang on. So the customer gave you that old term as the paperweight, the dust sheet
weight. He was right next to you and he wouldn't move away. So you were struggling. He says,
yeah, he's all, ah, fuck him then. So he understood it was the customer's fault. You know, if
he would have just been out of the way, sitting down on the sofa doing whatever, then I would
have had the room to maneuver. I mean, to be fair, I wouldn't have even put the dust
sheets on top of it if he wasn't standing next to me. Because all I was doing was a
little hole into the ceiling just to pull the cable down. Because he's there, you got
to try and keep appearances. Whereas if he just made a little bit of mess and there's
no one looking, he just...
Just planning to brush it in?
Yeah. You know, because always cleaning up afterwards.
The one thing I will say, Abbie, is though, depending on what work you are having done,
is keep all the receipts and warranty. Obviously, because we had the issue with the tap the
other week, the other month, sorry. And that turns out to have a 10 year warranty. So you
know what's happening in nine years. Do you know what I mean?
That's it. Yeah. Yeah. Any receipts and that for appliances, then yeah, make sure you keep
them. That is an acceptable question. So if it is appliances are being installed, ask
about the warranties because if you purchase some... Buying items from the logs of being
killed or whatever, you'll get a 12 month warranty from them first and then register
with the appliance, like the manufacturer, to get the additional warranty that way. Well
yeah, just as a recap, make a cup of tea. Don't be sure to make a sarnie and stay out
of the way.
Yeah, I was going to say I started the way.
Yeah, just stay out of the way.
Don't change your mind.
The end of the day, the way I always see it, the customer has to be happy. But I like to
make sure they're happy as I've started and in the middle, if you get to the end and then
you're happy because they've changed their mind, that's when it's annoying. But yeah,
stick to those and you should be fine. We'll move on to Kirsty because the next one was
James. We've already read out James.
Yeah, we've established that.
Yeah, I mean, there's only so much we can bash on about shit Liverpool.
We've established that he's not bothered.
He's not asked.
He's not bothered, no. No, in fact, I think he's probably forgot.
Yeah, yeah. You know, he's just waiting for me to invite him to start our own podcast
anything. The Undertake, who's going to call it, Warnie.
The Undertake, yeah. Yeah. Not if he's a bothered when you lose, but you both glow up when you
win.
Yeah, yeah. So yeah, just look out for that in your re-box, James. I'll set us up a new
podcast then, mate. The Undertake, look out for it in 2026. So yeah, Kirsty, long time
since we've heard from her. So hi guys, hope you're all well. I'm still single and trying
to mingle. I've noticed this man here and there, got onto basic clothes and that. I
think I kind of like him. So I was just wondering what subtle behaviour makes a person more
attractive or is there something I can do so he makes a move?
I don't know. What's your take on this, mate?
Well, I think you just got to be fucking obvious, though. Just be blunt about it because men
can easily be confused with thinking that they're being flirted with and that. So compliments,
ask him, like, what's he up to this weekend? And that's a try and give hints. And then
when he's like, oh, what about you? Oh, nothing. I want to do something, but I've got no plans.
Make it obvious you've got no plans, but you'd want to do something. And just don't wait
for him to make the move.
Yeah, just make it clear.
If you know, just ask, start a proper conversation and then just look, you know, try and find
out if he's got a partner. If he's straight.
Well, I assume that he has enough.
Into women. Well, you never know.
That's why I said it, because, you know, you might not be on the right spectrum for him.
But yeah, it's like just you make the move, essentially. There's nothing wrong with it.
You know, he'll most likely find it quite flattering and be more likely to say yes if
you make a little move as well. So, I wrote Jeff, I like the way your bum looks in those
jeans. Do you fancy going out to the cinemas or by tweet on the weekend? Just saying.
I've got a question. Do you reckon the youth today or the youngers choose the cinema as
a day or is it somewhere different? Because back in like years ago, it was the cinema,
wasn't it?
Back in the day, yeah. It was just an easy one.
When you was caught in.
Yeah, during the war.
I don't know if that's the thing anymore.
I'd like to think so, because it was just an easy one. And he just thought, yeah, we'll
have a KFC or something, go watch a movie and then, you know, whether you do something
afterwards, you just see any. Because Star City was an easy one for us, really. So, we
were going to Star City, it's got a little complex cinema there, there's bowling, drinks
and all that.
Yeah, there's a bit of everything there, wasn't there? Food, as you said, bowling at the archives,
cinema, mini golf. I think they even had Lizaquest at one point.
There was, yeah. And there used to be that trampoline thing in the middle as well, weren't
there? Never went on that. And then occasionally there'd be a little fair right in the front
as well, wouldn't there?
That's it.
So yeah, that was just an easy one that was. Go for food, cinema, drinks and all that.
No, so I was just wondering if that's what people do now for first day to Donner. But
yeah, I think Jadis Rogers make your intentions clear. Just shoot your shot.
Yeah, show a little bit of cleavage. Well, you've got to get into the sentient, right?
No one's looking when there's tits out. So yeah, just make the movie sell. Say, come
on, mate, what's going on? Do you want to have a go? And yeah, hopefully it works out
a role for your cast. Let us know. Yeah, keep us updated on that.
Miles, this was one that I didn't read out last week, definitely. So he's ordered some
of the games that we'd recommended. So if you have started playing them, let us know
what you think of them. And his question was, is there a smell that you will never forget?
So when I did read this, there was one that pops into mind for you that I thought of,
and that was story that we've bought before on the podcast when we'd been out in Worcester
on a heavy search. And then the morning after you started to smell something and it turned
out because I was having a dump. Yeah. And I would say that's probably the worst
smell I've ever smelled. But to put into context, you know, we have spoken well before, as Jadis
said, but we're in McDonald's after an hour. You just want food. I think we didn't even
sleep. We just stayed awake by the van. Because we used to just drive straight back. We just
stayed awake for a few hours. Anyway, I'm in the queue. You know when you eat a sly
headache, you're hungry, you're winding queue and they're taking so long to get you to just
do the orders and then sniffing. And then one of the other lads comes up to me and goes,
what the fuck is that? And I went, mate, that's Jadis and it's all that. But that's probably
the worst thing I've ever smelled. Yeah, quite easy actually.
All these smells that I'll remember or can think of. I don't know really. I'll tell you
what, there was one, it was a job when I was on the couch where he was. So as soon as you
open the door, the smell just hit you in the face. There were the lazy bastards. There
was cups all over the place with little bits of tea that had started to grow mold and that.
I don't understand how people can get to that lifestyle in the head and just not thinking
about this cup. I'm going to put water in it and wash it off.
The whole house was a mess though. There was even the work tops in the kitchen. It was
just caked in grease. But I don't know how you can let it get that greasy, especially
when you're still using it. But yeah, it was disgusting. Because that was on the Tollman
road. And so that's a busy road with a lot of traffic. We kept going outside for fresh
air. That's how bad it was. And obviously it's a polluting road because of all the cars
and all that. So yeah, that's one that it literally did. As soon as you open the door,
it just hit you in the head, man. Horrible. So yeah, just a minging house.
I have a smile when I was younger. And I don't know why this smile bothered me so much. I
remember one time growing up to bed, whatever time it was, and then dad used to have his
dinner when we used to go to bed because you see, you get a cheeky, my thongs and it on
the snort. So you could smile, the nice smile. And one time mom was cooking his pizza and
I don't know what it was and the toppings. You know, when it smells that bad, you start
feeling sick. I couldn't eat pizza for years. I don't know what kind of pizza it was. It
just smelled like crap. I can't, like watery, if that makes sense. But that one always sticks
to my mind as well. Because you can tell my smelly stuff.
Yeah, it's got a lot of taste.
Yeah, but thank you for your email. Yeah. I should have read this WhatsApp out earlier
on the Real Talking Hotline 07 470 488 096. You know what? You've done well to remember
that. Like honestly, just off the bat first time. Honestly, it's never edited. But to
be fair, I've always, phone numbers, postcodes, I've seen to remember postcodes easily as
well. So when the first house that I was living in as a child, 0121243 8743. And you think
we haven't had that house number since. When did we start second school?
We started second 2000, the year 2000. Was it 2001? Oh, it's 2000 or 2001.
Around 2000. So, you know, about 24 years we haven't had this landline number. I can
still remember it. It's like postcodes, fucking the amount of jobs that I've been on. And
there's just random ones that just stick in my head. But even if I had Chris's, the house
that he was first living in Buster, I still remember that postcode. And it's like, I shouldn't
do it. You know, but then there's like, you'll ask me someone's birthday. I'm like, I don't
know.
Well, it is a good thing because obviously like you do it every time and I might for
one time, it never does it.
Right. Yeah. So should have read this hotline message earlier. So this was from Lee. What
a game. Can't wait to see what banter James has got. So he had no banter. He wasn't asked.
He wasn't bothered. He just gave you before, but he's not bothered now. He's got the premier
league now. Yeah. Yeah. The premier league. It's all in there. There and you know, Klopp's
got in his pocket log. So the message off of Laura, do we have any life hack skills?
No, I don't know about log log, life hack skills. Um, well, I think, I think we've said
something similar before, but in general, it's just like, if you keep yourself tidy,
keep your teeth brushed, make sure you're not smelling the bio and stuff. But yeah,
I mean, yeah, no, sorry, Joe. I know we, cause we was on about that before, but in life hacks,
it always finds something when you find something that is meant to be used a different way.
Yeah. Um, when you go to McDonald's, those little, uh, the little sauce parts, the little
open them up. You get, uh, well, you know, three times as much sauce. That's a little
hack for you. Um, uh, I don't know really because I just, I suppose, cause you've done
it regularly. It doesn't become a life hack. You forgot why you do it. That would make
it different, so to speak. Yeah. Um, I mean, I learned something new the other day, which
wasn't a hack, but, um, so we more dog Malamute, uh, so, you know, they look like a wolf, but
they've got big pointy ears. So as I was just chatting to this lad with you, my dad, I'll,
uh, just said about in general, that all the other dogs, aggressive little dogs trying
to attack all the time and that, which that's just standard. Um, but apparently it's because
the ears are always like pointy, they're not like a floppy ear that sags down or anything.
Uh, the other dogs see that block as if they're in attack mode. They're about to go for them.
Um, so even though he does general signs of the bowing down and the fight with the towel
wagons, all that, because the ears are off, that's why they're thinking, ah, shit, I've
got to, I've got to give it a big one because he's going to fucking attack me or something.
So that's a dog hack, honey. So it's a dog hack. Yeah. Um, no, let me just Google this
actually, because I'll be, there's these things that we'd like, you can just do that. That's
all a fact. So let's have a, they won't Google. I think this should be something then that
that we try and find life hacks that we call next week then. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Right now.
I'm down for that. Yeah. I've got a whole week off now. I'm about to go on a holiday,
which any couple of minutes now, uh, we are going to wrap this up. Um, so Laura hold fire on that
one. We'll, we'll be back. We'll have a little look on that one. Yeah. Um, and as long as I
remember, I'll have some more facts at least anyway. Uh, we've got nothing new from, uh,
Steve or anyone yet. Uh, everyone's waiting. Yeah. We're waiting to find out what's going on with
Buckley and the Hooters girl. Um, so hopefully we'll get some messages back about that. Uh,
last but not least, we'll read out calls, WhatsApp on the hotline. Um, have you guys ever walked into
a room and had a no turn 180 and leave moments? Ooh. So for me, the one time that I've definitely
did well, that's definitely coming to mind. Um, so obviously we've had Kiefer always out drinking.
Uh, there's the, uh, well one put down a row from where I used to leave the first place with Kiefer
anyway. So it's not a good pop. I don't, I don't even think it's a pub anymore now. I think it's
a Indian restaurants, um, by Alicia's mom's. Yeah. But yeah, uh, we was, it was a pub that we'd always
walk past to go to the Raven and it was just the one time we saw, Oh yeah, let's go in and have a
pint in here then. And as soon as we walked in, everyone just turned around and you could see,
this is not a pub that we want to have a drink in. So we literally did walk in. I think Kiefer went
and had a quick piss and then we was off. Yeah, let's go. You know what you saying that that
happened to me or, um, big buff in what's the Irish bar called, mate? Um, the one on the Roy,
um, the one that we used to go to. Yeah. Do you know what I'm going to come over the name of the
bike? No, the Dublin was on the left and it was the one on your right. It was like that right dive.
Anyway, so we've walked in there and there's about 20 men in there and I mean, all got points. Some
of them even got empty point bottles, open the door. The one that was like, we're closed.
Like, they're not, they're not closed. There's 20 men in there with points, which is like, yep,
just turned out. So that, that area, that was, um, a lot of, like where Peaky Blinders was
like orientated around and that. Um, so yeah, proper old pubs. Um, yeah, I mean, I almost had
it there because the man we used to go to, he was in like a pub during the day and then it would be
the nightclub on the know. It's obvious. Like, yeah. The carry man, the carry man, the carry man.
Yeah. The best thing I ever seen in there is one of my old mates. Uh, like he used to love in there.
He had his colors up on his Polo, firm to DJ. Yeah. Gets his key out, puts in a load of cocaine
and sniffs the cocaine off his key. Fuck me. I saw more drugs in there than I think any,
like anywhere else in my life. You go to the toilet and the geezer just like trying to sell you,
like he's, you know, like they have to shave, man. Yeah. Yeah. And one of them in there selling
drugs in there. Yeah. So that's why when there was like, we're closed, I was just like, yep.
The carry man. We've had some good nights in that pub though. I know it was never really your
corner. Yeah. Hmm. You've had some good nights, mate. I've had a lot of good nights. I've had a
lot of shit nights in there. The good old days. I'll tell you what I did see now one time though.
I went in there with two of the lads and there was like two old older couples, just probably
about our age now. And it's back in the day when you start like taking camera with you,
you know, and just show you pictures on the camera. Yeah. You can take them on your phone.
And there was two of them showing you over to like from a swingers party thing, like that they went
to. Yeah. So how much, hopefully as well, like, all right. Well, yeah, they were probably trying
to say this is the place where you could have as well. Yeah. This is us. This was her on the swing.
This was me getting pegged. You're going to try it one night. Yeah. God, that'll be your Easter
weekend. Treat that well. Yeah. Find the Easter egg. So yeah, we'll leave it at that this week.
Now I'm going on holiday. She's going for a five K and yeah, hopefully. Well, I'll get some life
hacks off next. Yeah. Yeah. We'll do the law facts. Um, James will have an easy, uh, well,
yeah, he'll have an easy two weeks because, uh, it will be next weekend. I don't know who live
before the plane, but it'll, uh, it'll be nice and easy for him anyway. He's not bothered. No,
he's not asked, not asked. Um, but you know, he's going to keep it real anyway. Um, real tears.
Yeah. Hopefully we find out more with booklet. That'd be great. Yeah. Uh, Ryan, try and get him
out over the, uh, the side of the eyes and, um, get his bonnet wet.
Terrificness. We'll see you next week. Peace. Bye.