Hi everyone, welcome back to another episode of the Real Talking Podcast with your hosts
Ash and JD. Now we're going to switch it up a little bit this week. We're going to follow
up from where we left off on last week's episode. So basically we're going to start with the
emails. She's our favourite, well it's my favourite, and I keep telling her it's my favourite,
so we get hopefully more emails. Well yeah, so this week for us we're doing back to back
records just so everyone does know. So anyone that does watch on the YouTubes, Real Talking
Podcast with Ash and JD, I bet you know that anyway, but yeah. So if you are watching on
YouTube and you're thinking, well I'm going, JD's wearing the same clothes, Ash is wearing
the same clothes, it's because we are wearing the same clothes, you know, we're not going
to get changed and then do another record. Even though some podcasters do that when they're
doing several records during the day, they'll go and swap the t-shirts over and stuff. YouTubers
and that as well, they'll do that. I've always thought that if you was like a big, you know,
you had a production for the podcast, you could get like three people and three guests
in or smash reality. You know, I always thought that, like you just get it done in one day
and pull them out. If you're talking nothing about relevance. So like, if it's like, you're
not keeping up to the current affairs, that would be easy enough to do. Which yeah, that's
the way a lot of them do it. Essentially just the whole day of recording and then spend
the rest of the week editing and stuff.
It comes to me, I think I have spoke about this before where I was watching a thing about
like only fangirls and how they make money. And this one girl was on a bar, she used to
work at FC, if you didn't last week episode, it's all about food again.
She put the finger lick in that.
Oh, it did. So, and it always took to make some food, it was genius at the time, but
it's not, you just would do it. So one day a week, her and her friend comes around, it's
all so, it's only fans. They take pictures of each other, whatever, certain videos. And
then they spread those videos then throughout the week. So it looks like they're doing new
ones and every day. And then they just do their one-on-ones then like, I think she was
charging you £500 for one-on-one on webcam.
Yeah. And then I know a lot of them use AI bots for the text messaging.
Oh, really? Oh, okay.
Yeah. So you pay to send a text message or it's free to send a text, but you're paying
to get a reply.
Yeah.
And yeah, so a lot of them are using AI bots for that and, or rather, they're sourcing
out to someone else. So they'll have the little brother sending a text message back or something.
I just thought that was when she said it, I always thought, fuck yeah, that just works
one day a week, sorry, spreads the content out throughout the week. And then just does
the one-on-ones, which were following Japan on the path. Like, fucking, yeah, sorry.
But that's that concept of essentially working one or two days a week. That's the dream really.
You know, if I had enough money, then that's what I'd do is just do about two, three days
a week and then have the rest of the week off. Because we live life in reverse really,
where we're working for five days to hopefully have two days off, you know, so the weekends.
But then there's always stuff to do, you know, housework and shopping and whatever. So you
don't even get to have the weekend off. You save all for the weekend. Yeah. So yeah, if
I had the money, then yeah, just do less days of working, more days enjoying life.
But yeah. So going back to the original standard. Yeah. Yeah. We will get to the emails. Yeah.
Back to back. Yeah. Back to back records. It's getting late. I'm dying for a beer, but
I can't have one yet because I'm going to drive home, walk the dog. Still stuff to do.
Yeah. You don't get that time. You just say dinner to cook as well. You know, sausage,
chips, beans and egg. That's what I'm doing tonight. Yeah. What you got for dinner? Poached
egg and beans. Yeah. You know, for anyone that's new, actually is on a diet. Yeah. I
was just, I was just saying, doing all right so far. 10 pounds lost, which certainly because
he's got a hole in his butt. People keep going to me like, you don't need to kind of die.
Well, clearly I fucking did. If 10 pounds lost, was it two weeks, two weeks. So it's
three weeks now, isn't it? So it'd be three weeks sat there. Sorry. Yeah. So it'd be three
weeks active sat there. You know what? 10 pounds in three weeks. That's a lot. That's
the next, you know what I mean? But I will say one thing. I am getting a bit of cry in
his mouth and fizzy pop. That's, that was always the kryptonite, the thing that got
me there. So I'd go in for a bottle of pop and end up getting a chocolate bar and so
on. But I'm just getting, I was, you know, that in the back you throw, you know, like
your game with the beer now I can imagine. Oh, but the thing is, well, the same, well,
because I have it with, cause I've done intermittent fasting. So it's not the quote from the Hulk.
My secret is I'm always angry. I'm always hungry. I'll always happily have a beer. Fair
enough. Can't have one first thing in the morning, but you know, six o'clock somewhere.
You know what? You know what I've never done? And so I don't believe in it. And I just don't
think it's, well, I don't think it's, it's, it's an alcoholic said this and everyone's
like, yeah, hair of the dog. That must not work. There's no, when you, when I wake up
after no hour, even if I'm okay, the last thing I want to do is have a beer. Yeah. So
how's you're waking up feeling fine, then you don't need to do it. But even when I feel
a bit groggy, I'm still like, no. So it's again, you don't really want to have that
beer. It's just that when you do and you push, because that first point is always like, I've
done it well, I've nursed that point for about an hour. What, what, and then after the point,
do you stop feeling that way or do you just carry the hand go over onto the following
day? Because you start drinking yourself drunk again. And so, so when you wake up the next
day, you know, because there's a, there's a limit. So essentially you don't get out
of your face like you was the night before to give you that hand go back. So let's just
say for example, you had 12 points on a Friday night and you're feeling rough the next day.
So then the Saturday you have five or six points. Drawing the whole day. But no, because
you don't need to start off in the morning. No, you go to the pub, say like 11 o'clock,
have a breakfast and then start drinking like half 11. Have like four points or whatever.
So you get yourself a little bit tipsy again, but the hand go over is gone.
The concept doesn't make sense. Like, I don't make the rules, but that's what it is though.
It's just because it's not how that's a placebo that is I'm telling you. No, because, because
you're not, the drink doesn't get rid of the headache. You get drunk again. So you're not
feeling the headache, but then surely then when you wake up the next day or when you
go back home, it kicks back in. No, because you go to sleep then because you've had a
few drinks you thought. So when you wake up, obviously the hand guard has been carried
out. You haven't had as many drinks as you did the night before to give you the back
hand. That sounds terrible, mate. I'm never going to do that. Well, one thing though,
why is it when you're on holiday and you buy the pool, you can drink all day, wake up,
feel fine. Holiday drinks, just different. Plus I feel like it's a UK thing because of
all the additives and stuff that the pudding, like just everything in general, you know,
you can't even turn the tap on without smudging the chlorine in the water. So yeah, I feel
like just the crap, preservatives, the pudding, beers, whatever about, oils, vodka and stuff.
And it's probably for an all inclusive, probably eating more food than you are drinking or
the same to balance it out. Well again, because I was just going to touch on that. It's okay.
It's hard to get drunk on Christmas day because you, you're snacking, you're having your peaks
on blankets, in blankets rather. I mean, they can be on it, you don't have to wrap them
up. You know, it's just easier to consume both at the same time when they're wrapped.
So yeah, you're having your snacks throughout the day while you drink you then, yeah. So
because you constantly keeping topped up on both, you don't get as drunk properly. So
yeah. Right. It's such, yeah. You've never really been a big drinker. No, no, but even
that fall of just the fall of that, it just seems off. It doesn't seem right. It doesn't
make sense. So if you get, so cause you've never done it, you don't understand the feeling
of the, the way that that beer after the, I said the first one's always a struggle to
get through it. But once, once you've gone through it and you, you, your body's like,
all right, yeah, I'm ready for another one. And you start to feel yourself, not feel groggy
hangover. Right. Then you, and you're feeling better than yeah. So you don't understand.
Do you have to change brands though the next day or do you stay on the same brand? So if
you're drinking a certain type of lager, it doesn't change. No, honestly. So someone's
lied to someone one time. It's become a thing. No, because honestly someone's lied to someone
and you've not done it. You don't understand. You know, it's part of me. No, because your
body needs water after, after you've been drinking, but you're not putting water into
your system. You're starving even more. So I don't understand the concept of how it makes
you feel better. Like the sort of, you need to put water, but I can't give you the science
behind it. Science. I can just give you the real talk on it. And the real advice. It works.
It does. It literally does. You know, it's magic or something. It's just the easiest
way to say it's just because you start to feel tipsy again. It just gets rid of the
headaches and whatever. It's like when I'm ill, I'll have a drink when I'm ill because
it gets rid of the horrible head cloud and stuff. You know, like if you've got a bang
in your neck because you've got a cold or something, have a couple of drinks and you,
you know, so you don't feel better from the illness, but you're not focusing on the horrible
symptoms as much. Because you always say, if you have a cold, is he a partner? Have
a shot of Parna. Is he called Parna? What do you put in a cheeky Vintor? It was Parna.
I'm sure it was Parna. Port. Port. Port. Sorry. Port is a cheeky Vintor. So have a shot of
Port. I say for these to say for you somewhere. It's that you can have whiskies as well to
warm you up. I don't see it with a lot of them, but you know, helps soothe a cough and
stuff as well. I can understand the whiskey one more, cause you do get that heat in your
throat. Yeah. Yeah. But still like when you fucked, you don't want a shot of fucking whiskey.
Like who does not? This is what I'm saying. This is what I hate. It's an alcoholic that's
done that and then told someone cause otherwise no sane person when they're absolutely, if
you're not, look, if you're not alcoholic and you're ill, there's no way you're going
to the cupboard, getting a whiskey out and taking a shot of it cause you're real. No,
that's an alcoholic. That's ill. That said that. And it's the same with the hair, the
dog. It's just an alcoholic told someone to become a thing that that's just more real
advice on that. But then the real advice is don't knock it till you've drawn it. Right.
Okay. That's fair enough. But right. Let's get to the emails. Yeah. So as we said, back
to where we left off last week. So these are emails that we didn't read last week. And
I thought I'd start off with our little Liverpool fan, James. Good lad James. So he's told us
that he's boy knows like, so right. So do you know where knows Lee is? You've actually
got it on. Wait, that I guarantee that's pro. No. So where's knows. Whoa. No, it was late.
Is there for the safari bar? Yeah. No, it was Lisa. No, James, let's, let's click on
the safari park and let's get directions of where it is from Liverpool town centre. Yeah.
Well, probably should have done this first. Right. Yeah. Just some quick calculations.
Come on. Right. It's over half an hour drive to the town centre. All right. Do we to Anfield
sorry. Cause I'm like, cause he's Liverpool fan. Yeah. That would maybe that might be
a better one. Cause I'm field is that any way to stuff to or it's that it's still 23
minutes. Right now I can live with that. No. So he's not, he's a wolf. He's not a proper
scouse. There's a wolf. You're not a proper scouse. But any, all that saranero clusters,
so you wouldn't class was that Kirk Kirby? No, not before West Derby. He's barely classes
scouse. Yeah. Yeah. No wall. No. You might as well be leaving him bloody Preston or something
like that. You're basically what yam yams are to Birmingham. Yeah. You've got a similar
accent and it's close enough. No, no, no, no, no. It's close enough to the untrained
ears to think that a yam yam is a Brummer. Cause you know, that's one of the things is
that black country just fucking accent. How am I? Like what the fuck? It's not even easier.
Yeah. It's more to say the wrong words. Yeah. So we've, we've established that James is
apparently not a scouse. So not a scouse. I know he's definitely got a pair of one 10s
or air max on he fires. Definitely. I reckon he's got like a black pair of like the red
stripe, you know, he's fucking Liverpool way. Yeah. Yeah. But he's not a scouse. And at
the end of the day, he says long live Klopp. Yeah. He's leaving. I know. Let's see his
gun. Now again, for everyone that's listening, that's old news, but it's a shame. Now all
you do have to say for us a little bit. So I'll know the feeling as you know, when sir
Alex retired for the second time, it's the first time didn't stick. Cause Carlos Cuérez
wasn't up to the job. So we had to step back in after six months and be like, hang on Carlos.
I'll get us back on track again. And yeah. So when Fergie left, it was, I mean at the
time it wasn't heartbreaking, but it was sad because David Moore is coming and took the
reins and it was just downhill from there. So when that happened, a lot of people were
slagging off the side of the Maran Fellain. I actually quite loved him to be fair. He
always got stuck in coming with a good goal here and there.
He was all elbows though weren't he? It'd be great to be on it. It'd be great on your
team. Horrible to play against. It was horrible to watch as a neutral.
Yeah. He was a bit of a shit house, but yeah, I didn't mind that. But it was just not the
right appointments after Fergie left. It should have been Mourinho straight away. But I mean,
it was always a downhill battle because Fergie managed to, with the lack of lot purchases,
you know, the excuses were already there. There's no value in the market, but Fergie
could have taken Everton and won the league, I reckon, because he just had that management
in him to get the players rallied up and working together properly. So yeah, I mean, what's
it been about? 10 years now we've propped it.
Has it been 10 years? I think it's been nine. Yeah, I think it might be nine.
I feel like it's 10 what a time is left.
Right. Yeah. It's a good stick anyway.
And he's a good man. It's a shy myself as a neutral on the side seam go.
I feel like if he had the money that Pep had, he would have dominated the Premier League.
But he's had to build the squads with a lot of limitations financially. And he's done
well, you know.
I don't know. They've spent a bit though.
They've spent a good bit. Yeah. Obviously, they've spent what they earn. Officially earned
as well. You know, I know. But he's been able to build the team, you know, Pep took over
Man City. He spent hundreds of millions on a new defence, you know, several goalkeepers,
you know, 100 million on Jack Grealish. Not worth it. He's good enough player, but he's
not 100 million is worth of you know, but really hasn't spent a hunk of money like that.
I think 50 million is the biggest spend. You know, he tends to buy goods.
Now he has spent a lot more than that. I'm sure Darwin knew was was 85. 70 million for
him. But leading up to, I'd say the last two seasons, there wasn't any extortion of price.
Now there's no star players, but there was I think there was trying to.
Because I think even Salah, I think he only got info at 34. Yeah. And you think of the
success that he's done. You know, it's hard to say, but he's he's definitely one of the
best players in the world at the moment. Almost Salah. So whoever does come in next, I mean,
it's not going to be Steve. Who do you think it's going to be?
Savio Alonso. I think so. I hope it's him as well.
Yeah, he's doing a good enough job at level of confusion. So yeah, I think it's just going
to be him really. Do you think Jürgen Klopp will manage again
because he said he needs to take a spell equal is your thing? If he plans to come back to
football, why don't you just have a year off? I think that's all he's going to do really.
He's going to have a year off. I know he's been having a house built over.
Mallorca. No, America somewhere. I think it's near New
York. I thought it was Mallorca in Spain. I don't know, maybe I heard the story wrong.
But I know he's been having a house built. So I imagine he's going to just take literally
12 months off, just chill. And I know he said he's not going to come back to the Prem. I
think it will be Real Madrid. I think Real Madrid.
And he's just signed another deal. So I reckon 12 more months out of him and then Klopp will
take over then. I think so as well. That or Bayern Munich,
they're the only two. Maybe PSG. I don't know if he would go to Bayern though because
he managed Borussia Dortmund, didn't he? I think he will. I think money talks, mate.
And they're the only, like, if you take away the Premier, the only clubs that can afford
him is Real Madrid, PSG and probably Bayern Munich.
Barcelona as well. They've got no money.
They haven't had money for years. It's weird.
Yeah. It's weird, isn't it?
Well, but it's the same as Real Madrid as well. They're getting into debt and they just get
biologues. The amount of times governments have written their debt off is ridiculous.
Yeah, so next season, it's going to be hard. I mean, the players that could go as well,
Salah's coming to, I think, the last 18 months of his contract. Van Dijk, I think, has only
got 18 months left. There's a lot of players that at the end of this season, they're on
the last year of the contract. So it's stick or twist with them. Harder going to stay or
go. Will Salah be tempted by the big money talk in Saudi Arabia?
I think he'll go, man. Now the club's gone as well.
He's still ambitious enough to win big trophies.
He probably is, but money talks, mate. I can imagine he'd be on something like a million
pound a week. Yeah.
Well, if it's anything to go on with Karen Benzema, 1.6 million pound a week, then I
reckon Salah could be asking for around that much. He's got a few more years in the tank
compared to Benzema as well. So yeah, I'll fill for you, James, because it's going to
be a hard couple of years, I'll reckon.
Yeah, they've just got themselves all together in terms of an identity. Now it's just going
to get you hard again, but that's what football is about.
The foundations there though, if the bulk of the defence stays, the McAllister and that
in the midfield, they'll probably need another winger or two. So the foundations there just
depends on what the next manager wants to do, how much they want to change for their
style of play.
I think Chaby Lanza will be a good match for him. He's been there.
Yeah, I think he will.
And he plays similar football.
Yeah, as long as they don't try and do. I mean, I'd love for it to happen, for them
to take Stephen Gerrard from Saudi and be the manager. It's the next Alekh on the Solskjaer.
They won't win anything. They'll have a good love spirit around the club, but he couldn't
hack it at Aston Villa, so he won't be able to handle a proper job. Go in the Scottish
League, anyone can win the trophies there. Yeah, we'll take him over to the ball, he'll
have no chance. So yeah, let us know next season, how you're feeling and if you're going
to be crying for Klopp to come back, because he won't.
And then so we've got, there was no name on this email, but from the Reds 92. So to me,
that means he's a United fan. Hey, fellas, JD, who is your all time favourite United
player? And Ash, who's yours of any team? Right. So for me, should we do one? So let's
do your favourite player of United and your favourite player outside United of any area.
So you get to answer both and I'll give my favourite United player. If you think you've
got a favourite United player, yeah, yeah, there's only one. Cristiano Ronaldo. So you
know, I mean, it's hard in a sense, because there's been so many great players over the
time. As a kid, it was always Beckham, you know, he was the poster boy. I had to have
everything added as because he was the added as well, you know, face and that even that
just sucks that to be added as well. Once I was older and able to appreciate the game
a bit more now, yeah, Cristiano Ronaldo. He's arguably the greatest player of all time.
But the longevity of a United career for just the United. Wayne Rooner would be mine just
because always give everything on the pitch. You know, you could you could put him at left
back and he'd still put in a shift and half, you know, or obviously the goal record for
him and all that. You know, there was the little patch where he said he fell off the
even, you know, mentioned Man City. But you know, we don't know if he was on the big monitor
to go over to the blue sword or anything. But he stayed and, you know, he fair play
to him, went back to Everton for maybe two seasons. I think it was like 18 months or
that. Then he went to the US didn't it? Well, I just remember when when we first got him
18 years old and Champions League game. Yeah, banged in a free kick. That game sticks to
my head. I don't know what I think about you. I think you won six, no six, three or something
like that. I think you've got a hat with as well. Yeah, just absolutely fans. I just remember
watching the game. I was just like, this is what we're doing. This is the future of, you
know, because again, you know, we had the logs of Ronaldo and then Paul Scors was still
playing. Brian Geeks was still around at that point as well. You know, so it was still a
core of players from the class of 92 and that that was still there. And it just passed on
so much experience. And that makes me sad sometimes when I do think about back in the
day that, you know, not in all trouble winning team 2008, winning the Champions League and
that and then to say things are these days, you know, again, when people are listening
and watching this, the Marcus Rashford news is over a week old. You know, stuff like that.
So me, I'm coming off the back of a four, three win against Wolves last night. These
quarter-past eight kick-offs cracked me up, man. You know, nine o'clock halftime, I've
gone up to bed, still listen to it on my phone, but just too tired. And then I woke up this
morning, first thing I'm checking the final score. So halftime we was tuning up. I'm thinking,
right, don't do a new Paul and I'll, you know, start messing it up. And this is what I see
Paul Fred. I'm not for God's sake, thank God. And then I start watching a whole lot of that.
You know, it's a stoppage time winner from Covemader and good goal to be fair, you know,
good play, good run off the ball from Forsen to take a defender away, just to open the
space up and he's got his shot. So it's nice to see that we've got three young, talented
players in the starting line-up now. You know, Hoyland at the top 20, Garnacho on the left,
19, Maynard in the midfield, 18. So I'm starting to see a bit of, look, just reminiscent of
the old days, you know, the good youth players coming through. Fair enough, we just bought
Hoyland, but you know, Garnacho, even though he's Argentinian, his class has homegrown
because he's come through the youth. Maynard's another, Mancunian lad, Boyhood Club playing
for him. What a feeling that must feel as well. You've grown up supporting him, you
start playing for him and that. Oh God. I mean, I can only imagine the goosebumps that
he'd be feeling just seeing him just walking into Carrington and just seeing everything
around there. I wonder when, I've always thought as a footballer, when does it become normal
to play in front of thousands of people and to pick up hundreds of thousands a week? When
does that think, when does that feel normal? Because obviously for me and you now, I've
always applied, do anything in front of thousands of people, just every day job, it'd be fucking
scary. And then when does that become normal? And also when do you start getting paid large
sums of money and that becomes normal, but you don't think about it? I think for us,
it would, I could never see it being normal for us. Let's just say this kicks off and
you know, we get a massive following and we do start earning good money from it. Just
any money from it would be nice. But yeah, if it got to that, I think it would take a
long, long time for us to see it as a new norm. Whereas for these young lads, when they're
going through the academies, I suppose they can see the bigger picture. Because it's around,
you know, they're already earning money from 16 signing the first professional contract.
And if you think back when we were 16, 200 pound a week, we was not ballers log, but
for them to earn, you know, a grand and a half or something at the age of 16,
they're already rich. And so yeah, you know, it's just another stepping stone as they get
another contract and it's like another 10 grand a week or whatever. And then they're going up to 15,
you know, so I think because they're growing up with you, that's that stems to why
Rashford's just got this big new contract, 325 grand a week and he ain't arse, he's sitting in
looking Belfast. See they can't move him off that contract now. No. Yeah, I think just because
they're around constantly, it's that they're not as bothered about it. Yeah, they're just
expecting. Right. So yeah, the different yeah. So your favourite United player, as he just says,
Ronaldo. Ronaldo. Yeah. So what about your favourite all time player that isn't from Mania?
That doesn't play for Mania, should say. Yeah. I mean, again, over the years has been
that many great ones. No, I used to love watching the logs of, you know, arm replay,
re-brick, he was always quality. I mean, I don't want to say messing, because that's not too obvious.
I don't right. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So Ronaldo is the greatest all time to me. And
you know, he's still doing it this year. Fair enough. So the league is completely different,
but there's still a lot of top quality professional footballers there. Well, he's
so the team beat into Miami 6-0. Yeah. You know, yeah, so he's still putting up the numbers.
He's just banging on the goals and that. So yeah, for me, he's because he's gone around the world
and proved it, you know, different leagues. Portugal, Premier League, you know,
Italy, Spain. Yeah. Spain. And that's why, you know, he's done it everywhere. Whereas Messi,
he's stuck to what he knew, you know, it was an easy transition to go to Paris, easy to go to
into Miami, you know, the farmer's leagues compared to the way that Ronaldo has done it. Fair enough.
Yes. When he was a boss for all the years, but again, when you've got the quantity of the players,
around you all the time, it just makes it easier. Don't it? So who would it be? It's a hard one.
It is. Yeah. Robin, he was quality as well. Yeah. Really, if you've got an individual that you.
So I'm going to do a Premier League player, then an all time one. So as a Premier League player,
a big shout out to Ozil, by the way, because I used to love watching Ozil play football.
When he actually played. Yeah. When he wanted to.
Yeah. The last couple of years, Arsenal just happy to sit on the bench.
But every now and again, you just do a game and you just think, but Prime Ozil,
I fucking ran Madrid. But yeah, so I'm going to go for Andre for his Premier League because growing
up, he was obviously the 2002, 2003, not growing up around about just before he went to Barcelona,
I believe in 2006. I always remember him and Roy van Nistra for the Golden Boot.
But now, sorry, Andre was just different. He run through people, just paced people,
just had everything. So for me, it'd be Andre. But as an all time one,
Ronaldinho, he was the only person that I'd watch Spanish league games for.
So I'd watched Barcelona game just to see what he would do.
Edgar Davids as well.
Just for the skill, the tricks and that little bit, the overall.
What, Edgar Davids? You think?
Yeah, the pair of them are fucking...
I don't know, Edgar Davids played for Crystal Palace, mate. I'm sure we played for Crystal
Palace. I don't know.
The thing I loved about Ronaldinho as well, you know he was pissed up the night before and
couldn't say anything to him. And he still... a bit of a girl actually, because he would show
up more than Erzul, but he would have those off games. But I just love people where I suppose
he comes easy. And I say that, but I hate Messi. So I'm saying a bit of Contreras,
Contreras, Contreras, Contreras, Contreras.
I do hate Messi as a... no, I like him, but he's just... I don't like how he keeps winning,
how he just wins everything all the time. Like, you know, the Ballon d'Or win, Haaland
won three. You know.
Yeah, won the treble, scored more goals and everything.
Yeah.
But yeah, so Ronaldinho, he was a bit of a girl, but he was a bit of a girl.
He was a bit of a girl.
Yeah, but yeah, so Ronaldinho, but yeah, I was... I still love watching him. I'm trying
to think as well. I used to always like as well watching Marco Reus for Dortmund.
Yeah.
So I'm just trying to think of these kind of players. Do you have one that also comes
to mind? I don't know what it is. Pablo Nedford. Was that you, Vences?
Hmm.
Oh, mate, when I...
I love it when you see players, the larks have brought Dimitar Bovatar back in the day.
He was just effortless.
Yeah, yeah.
And the silky smooth touches and the, you know, again, it's... we've out-sounded
by us because he did do a little stint at United, but you know, he was just... he just
always never really seemed like he was there, but then it's just a moment and you're just
out of the blue. You know, Van Persie would do it again from time to time, just, you know,
again, the world he goals and it's just... yeah, when you're just seeing just beautiful
transitional football and then players just... part of the reason why I love the game so much.
I did like watching Hazard. I must admit as well.
Yeah.
Hazard was good to watch.
Chelsea Hazard before he went to Real Madrid and...
I'm just trying to think of these players that I used to watch teams for, for them just
to play like when Bale went to Real Madrid, I used to watch Real Madrid a lot more than
as well because I used to like Bale. But yeah, I'm going to go, yeah, Ronaldinho all time.
Armory is a premier one and then Ronaldo.
Yeah.
I only... I'm only putting Ronaldinho there because I've already put Cristiano Ronaldo
as the man you want, otherwise he would be my favourite one overall. So yeah, let's do that.
Yeah. I've got enough names there.
I know again, because we said it early doors, we don't want to be a football podcast. Plus,
I know I don't know enough about football, other teams, different leagues and stuff to be able to
say that we're a football podcast or sporting podcast in general. I don't really follow
many other sports.
But if he was to get paid as a podcast, you could watch football all day.
Like that Tom Garrett, he says some shit football facts.
Some of them do.
Gabby Obama was on about...
Yeah, Goddard.
He just say stuff just to say it. There's no reason to why he says some of his stuff.
He's not educated enough either though. He just hasn't got a clue. So he's happy to get the script
from his bosses or producers in the background, say some bullshit.
Be controversial.
Yeah. He's got no receipts to back it up though. He just can't.
Yeah. Let's move on from Gabby, mate. We've got another email.
We have indeed. One of our little favorites is Kirsty.
I don't know if she's little, but yeah. Hello, lads.
With all these dating apps and dead chats, I thought I would ask, what do you think you
would be doing to try and get an edge on these apps?
Right. Well...
So assuming that the apps are all Tinder, I don't know what I was listening to.
Bumble.
Yeah, look. Bumble.
Plenty of fish. Is that store one?
Was it an app?
Yeah. I remember...
I know it was the website.
Our mate was on it.
Our mate.
I was on it years ago as well.
Oh, was it now or not? I thought it was now.
I can't remember. Maybe. I don't know.
It's been that long. I can't remember what I was listening to, but there's a new one
called Farmers or something.
So essentially you can go on there and put in what you're into. So it's not
if you're in a couple and you want to get other people involved or whatever.
Look, because when I first heard him talking about it, I thought it was for dogging or something.
But yeah, there's other parameters you can put in.
Yeah. Mick Ferrie. I think it was on Have A Word podcast.
So yeah, I don't know. There's that many different ones out there.
So Tinder was sort of at the back end as I was getting in the relationship with the Missy.
So I wasn't on that. I was on Plenty of Fish. I don't think there was any other ones.
This is before it was like a religious thing for people as well.
You know, endless amount of times we've seen people just swiping, swiping, not even looking.
Yeah.
We were wasn't a part of that really.
But when I was on there on the Plenty of Fish, I mean, I would just add the same message that I've
just not copying and pasted to any matches.
Was it their chat though?
No, so mine was an actual question because you try and just say hi, how are you?
And you'd never get a reply.
So mine was not word for word, but hiya, if you could have any animal in the world as a pet,
what would you choose?
And most of the time I'd get a reply there.
And a lot of people just go for boring ones.
Look, I'd have a tiger.
Like having a tiger would be boring.
Penguin all day mate.
That was my answer.
Penguin.
Because I'm happy with the cold.
Sorry for anyone that's watching on YouTube.
I've got a cramp in my leg at the moment.
Oh, I'm not constipated.
Oh, you might want to talk Ash while I'm just on the water.
Some people listen to me grunting away.
No, I think the only right answer is penguin in that one.
That's not real.
But as far as the question, I think it's a good one.
That's not real, but as far as the question, I've never been on any day or anything like that.
So I don't know what I suppose that chat would be like, hi, how are you the generic term?
Yeah, I think it literally is when you're not starting an actual conversation.
You want them to be stand out where you're a bit different.
I don't know actually.
But the opposite, it's just a hard one.
How do you stand out when you're getting all 20, when you're competing with about 20 other people?
Well, that's the thing.
I suppose you've got to see sort of like a job interview.
What do you say to make yourself stand out?
To get you thrown in the door.
Yeah.
So imagine you're single, you're back on the market, you've lost even more weight,
you're at a comfortable weight where you feel like you're not that shaming yourself.
And you've got yourself onto Tinder or something.
Yeah.
Because I think the woman has to message first.
Right.
Or there's one of them that you don't have to start the conversation.
The other, the opposite sex has to.
That one would be easier because I-
It would for you because you always struggle.
I hate texting.
I hate it.
I hate finding like when it's a text conversation, it's just harder.
I prefer phone call conversation.
So for me, I'll be absolutely terrible at this and I probably wouldn't stand out.
Apart from your, what you used to say, Jay, what do you think?
What do you-
Again, for me, yeah, I try-
To get the edge.
What could someone do to get the edge on the apps?
I try and think of something random like that one again, really.
So yeah, any animal in the world, that's been done.
So again, something stupid like if you had a telescope and found a planet,
what would you name it?
Right.
So you've got to try and think outside the box.
But then that's borderline a bit cheesy though as well, mate.
Yeah, it's not-
I couldn't do that.
I couldn't be that guy with these cheesy, like fucking, for me, I would be that dead guy.
You'd be the dead chat.
Dead chat, 100%.
How would you do it?
Literally, nothing worse than texting.
You know what's worse than texting?
The voice notes though, I hate them as well.
I don't do them.
Fuck you don't.
I'd rather just call.
Just again, because I don't like sitting there texting for hours and that kind of thing.
Just phone call.
All right, mate.
Yeah.
All right, see you later.
I'm really stuck here because I don't think I can help you with these dead chat situations.
Maybe, because maybe you have to be the one with the incentive and make it not be a dead chat.
Again, because we do see often where the women do get endless amounts of just stupid messages
coming through, I suppose the odd dick pic here and there and that as well.
Even on Tinder?
I don't know.
I don't know if you can send pictures on it.
But yeah, if you get in that same generic, how are you all the time?
You're going to lack a bit of enthusiasm to message back.
My main advice really would be to just not be on the dating apps because-
No, but you don't have to go to the club no more.
You don't have to spend a hundred pound on a Friday and wake up and drink together
with your head out.
A hundred pound?
I wish I could only spend a hundred pound on a night out.
You don't have to wake up the next day and have another beer together with your head out.
Maybe you'd want to.
No.
Right, let's sit back down.
I thought that was the worst cramp I've had.
And also, where did that cramp come from?
I don't know.
It's just sitting there and I'm feeling it wrong.
Where was the cramp?
Back of the leg and it was just shooting all the way down.
You feel the pins and needles in your foot as well.
That's why I was walking around in circles just to try and work it out.
You know, I'm a bit weird when it comes to stuff.
I used to love getting cramps in my car in the middle of the night.
I remember you telling me this.
And I used to like, especially when I used to play football,
I used to come in in the middle of the night and I used to whine.
So I couldn't handle it no more before I moved.
I used to love that sensation of pain.
I hate it.
Especially because being married and sharing the beds,
the amount of times I've had bad cramp and all I want to do is...
Ah, ah, ah.
But you can't because you're trying not to make any noise.
It's like you're over up.
Oh God, I hate it.
At least I was able to walk and talk through the pain just.
But no, cramp.
It's just a mad bodily function, I mean, not function, but...
What does he have?
I suppose.
Yeah.
Lack of salts is one thing or sugar, maybe.
I don't know.
It's just weird.
Horrible.
Unless you're into that thing, like, yeah.
It's like golfing showers.
So yeah, I know because we're at a different time, I'll just say...
Yeah, I think that's off.
...not to be on the apps.
Otherwise, make one yourself.
If these lads are sending just a shit holly holly how are you,
then think of one yourself, or even just use my animal one,
and send it to them and wait for the response from their.
Yeah.
Well, I think if there's an app that does it, if not, it's a million pound idea.
You should be able to send a poll, so you can, like a generic 10 questions.
So you missed the whole how are you, it's like, what's your favourite thing to do on a sunday,
and it's got five options.
And in that way, if I had the 10 questions, they pass, it gets 70%, so they get seven out of 10.
Then they can chat to that person.
Mate, that's a fucking banging idea.
So, are you going to pattern this all day?
Yeah.
So, anyone that comes out with this.
Because you think about that, if a girl, if you or a girl, say yourself, you set up like,
a five or 10 generic questionnaire for someone before they are able to message you,
and it also is why it helps them know who you are, obviously, because they've matched up with you.
Yeah.
Mate, fucking, just done it.
It's easy to do.
Mate, fucking, just done it.
It's like, I've got to say I love this.
It's like, sperm bank, any, there's different criterias that you select what sperm you want, any.
But, you know, you're going straight to the source.
Yeah, do you know what I'm saying?
You're missing all the small talk, like two days small talk.
Just get straight to the real talk.
Yeah, that's it.
There we go. Honestly, that's such a brilliant idea.
Maybe five questions, or maybe you should set it to like four or 10 questions where you just send,
like you click something, and automatically part goes our way.
It's just like, are you outgoing?
It's like, yes or no.
And then if that why suits your why, then they get a pass, right, or whatever.
Yeah.
Then they can chat to you because you know they have passed a certain test to be able to speak to you.
Mate, that's a fucking banging idea.
Honestly, mate.
Yeah, it's real talk dating.
This is what the app is going to call real talk dating.
It will be free to use and then you can pay for extra questions as well.
If you want the more definition, more stats into your potential partner.
Yeah, we're going to have to figure out how to make this.
Because the amount of ideas we've had over the years, we've never actually acted on any of them.
I'm just thinking, because you know I'm WhatsApp.
You can send a poll in, yes or no with the only options.
Yeah.
So surely you should be able to type what that is and then you type in yes, no, or maybe or whatever the question is relevant to the answer.
We'll do it all the way around, sorry.
But yeah.
So essentially, for any of the older listeners that are out there, it will be an app version of Blind8.
No, but you get to see who's...
Yeah, you'll be able to see it. But that was the thing, weren't it?
Because you ask the questions and you got an answer.
Right.
And then you log, yeah, all right, I'll have a chat with you then.
Pretty much, yeah.
We're going to be the silver black.
You go through all the dead chat.
Yeah.
We're going to be the silver black.
Bam.
That's it, yeah.
Done it?
Honestly.
We're going to have to get on the app.
I know someone now that works for like Tinder or like an app who's fucking coding the shit out of this now.
If I always see this idea start...
We've got the receipts for this now.
What fucking day is this year?
It's the second of February 2024 as of this moment recording.
When it comes out, it will be like two weeks.
That's a fucking smashing idea, that is.
Honestly, if you think that's a good idea, let us know in the emails because fucking...
Yeah, we might need some funding to be able to get this app sorted.
If you want to send us some money as well, please do.
But yeah, some of the odd days we've had over the years, this is the one we've got to act on now.
I remember signing to the lad I work with because obviously I've been there since I was 18.
I was signing to him before, obviously.
So you think 18, so 18, so that would be 15 years ago.
No, 16.
It's 34, sorry, 16 years ago.
Obviously Uber and that wasn't a thing.
I used to go to Neil's, we used to drive up to town.
I was like, wouldn't it be great if you could just pay someone to grab your food and bring it to you in your office or from your home?
If you lived in town, obviously you wouldn't work outside the city centre.
Yeah.
And then Uber come along and then it can't.
Yeah, it needs to be there.
Should have got that pattern pending.
The egg sauce, that was a brain order as well.
So egg sauce, essentially if you boil an egg or if you fry an egg and you have a runny egg yolk, that's the best part of it.
And if you could get that without having too many additives and stuff to prolong its shelf life, it'd be amazing.
Just all over your chips and that.
Or even, I'd do it with toast.
Because everyone loves a dipping soldier.
So yeah, if you made your toast and you just squeezed it straight out of the bottle.
I mean, I don't know how many chickens would have to lay eggs to be able to...
Yeah, there would have to be a lot wouldn't there.
Yeah.
But, you know, surely there's some science to be able to just make a sauce that tastes like you.
It's a lot of care that can make tomato sauce clear.
And remember the weird ones, the purple sauce and that, but it was still just tomato sauce.
No.
Oh God, it was horrible.
To look at, because you're looking at purple sauce on your chips or whatever.
So no, it's not right.
It should be red.
Or if it's a bag of sandwich, it should be brown.
If you're a man, that is.
You're not.
It's got to be brown.
Sam's man.
Fuck you, da.
I mean, yeah.
So as always, don't forget to send in your emails.
Realtalkingpod at gmail.com.
The Twitter at Ash and JD.
Links are all in the descriptions.
And then stay tuned as well because big things are happening in the next couple of weeks.
That big, I haven't even told you.
Even I was like what?
But yeah, just be ready for it.
You'll be on the edge of your seats just waiting for it to happen.
So yeah, we'll leave them waiting for more now.
Even you're waiting for them.
You want me to snooze more than you do.
You know, it's weird though.
Sorry, I know we're ending the podcast.
We're dealing with that.
We're shopping.
I was like, you know what I want?
Tomato soup.
Just tomato soup.
That's what he's doing to me rather than a McDonald's order.
But then if you've got some tomato soup now, then you still, is it in your dietary restrictions to get some bread and dippy dippy?
No, no, if you're too much carbs, there's no bread.
But yeah.
But just the soup before, I'd have to like protein it up with like protein shake after.
But yeah, let's get our food on and start.
Sausage, chips, beans and eggs from these.
Oh, yes.
So yeah, thanks for listening as always.
Appreciate it.
We'll see you next time.
Bye.
Peace.