Hi everyone, welcome back to another episode of the Real Talking Podcast with your hosts
Ash and JD.
Right, it's all going off, eh?
It is.
Well, you know, you've been already going to the gym, so you're getting yourself in
shape for a disconscription, so you're going to be fighting fit, ready for it soon, aren't
you?
Why, what's going on?
Oh yeah, you don't keep up to date with the current affairs, do you, these days?
No, no.
No time being a dad is the mate.
Well, as of a few days ago, depending on when you're listening to this, British people face
a call up to fight in the 40 armed forces in the UK, if things escalate in Russia.
Right, I have heard about this actually.
Is there an age gap?
Because I always thought it'd be 18s to 30s first, but it's not, it's 18s to 41, I believe.
So any one of that age that's available.
So I think there's an age cap.
Yeah.
So I don't know, maybe above 45, you won't get a call up.
But yeah, we'll definitely be on the list.
I wouldn't like doing that, you know, mate.
Because you'd have no choice, don't you end up going to prison or a single war if you
get called up proper.
But can you imagine it though?
So since this has been announced, I've seen endless amounts of videos of men just slating
it saying that they're not going to accept, they wouldn't go and fight for this country.
And they've all got valid reasons.
You know, that it's the government's war.
Whichever way you look around it, when you start deep diving into it all, it's the governments
that are doing all of this.
It's not a people's war, which to be fair, it never really is easy.
It's always down to politics.
Apparently there's oil there as well, which I don't know, that's Putin's thing to the
dispute.
You know, years ago, the Ukrainians were slated as some of the worst people in the world.
And then because they were trying to get them into NATO and now Russia, see, Russia started
doing their thing and it all escalated from there.
But essentially, because our government in the UK doesn't look after us, why should we
look after them?
Is the general gist of what most of these people are saying.
I think it just goes back to your...
I had to word this, if you know where you're proud, where you're from, is that enough to
want to defend where you're from?
Well, if you would have asked me that question when we was, you know, 16 to maybe 22, the
answer would have been yes.
Because before leaving school, I only had two career choices in mind.
It was either going to the army or get onto the tools and I literally got straight onto
the tools.
But since then, no, I don't feel like there's anything worth fighting for over here.
Because everything's a shit show in general.
And when there's ex-army personnel that are living on the streets, they're literally homeless,
not being looked after, why would we, who can just about pay our own bills and live
a life, go fight a war when they won't even look after ex-soldiers?
I would say there would be probably some money benefits involved.
It wouldn't just be you're up, you would get paid.
But how can they afford to pay us to be conscripted into the fight in this war when they're sending
all the tax money as foreign aid anyway?
Yeah, I mean, yeah, it is.
They can't pay the NHS staff.
They're just replying back for years, yeah.
But don't give me style on the NHS.
No, that's for another one.
Fuck you now.
Yeah.
I don't know what I would do, given it if I had that letter or whatever email, I suppose
now.
Well, I'd blank my phone call.
Yeah, I was just like...
I'd give the letter to the doctor, because he loves chewing on paper and that, and the
email, it would just get sent straight to the spam folder, I think.
Yeah, it is.
It's a bit different from, I was going to say different wars, but I suppose the Iraq
one was the same.
It's just, you can't trust the purpose of it really, can you?
Or the reasoning.
Because none of it is completely transparent.
And why let the armed forces get that low in terms of personnel?
Yeah.
You know what I mean?
From an army government point of view, if your numbers are low, you need that in case
it's insurance.
And that is the thing.
I mean, we've been dropping numbers in the armed forces for years now.
Yeah, the same.
The same fucking everything.
Yeah.
NHS, fucking everything.
So it's all going foreign out, I suppose.
But yeah, if you had a choice though, mate, if there was like, right, you can be like
infantry, you know, paratroopers or whatever the version of that would be.
I don't know if they still jump from the planes.
You know, if you could, you know, be in the Navy or the Air Force, which one would you
take?
Well, again, the other one would be the worst one as well.
Yeah.
So years ago, I would have wanted to have been on the front line.
But now you wouldn't want to be because with the technology, the advanced weaponry of everything
these days, you know, you've got no chance of being on the front line.
And it's not like World War One and two, where you literally in the trenches.
You know, it's too easy to you don't even need to be out in the open.
You know, with the missiles and drones, yeah, all the drones and that it's just you can
just be picked off anywhere.
So I suppose that the safest place would be in a submarine for the Navy.
That would for me, that would be the worst place to be because if anything happened,
you are dead.
Like literally even if the whole dead.
Like honestly, yeah, but we're not trying to find the Titanic.
No, no.
That for me, that would hate submarine for three months down there.
Oh, no, no.
Well, so what would be your worst one then?
On the front?
Oh, no, really, because.
Okay.
Yeah, because it's just.
Infantry would be your worst and submarine would be your best option.
Yeah.
It's interesting.
Well, not this doesn't have to be a submarine, you know, just out in the ocean.
I feel that you're less likely to be a part of any action.
But no, I just overall refuse and let's be real about it.
That's what we're all about.
Can you imagine all of these snowflakes getting drafted off and all these roadmen that don't
listen?
Yeah, no, no, no, it's gone.
It's gone.
That just isn't going to happen.
You know, the the younger generations to us lack respect.
They don't know the left from the rights, the arses from their elbows, whether the male
or female and what's up and down.
So how are they going to listen to orders, hold a gun and go and fight against anyone
else?
And you think about the majority of these Russians, they're all like cage fighters in
there, so they're actually willing to die for their leader where we won't.
Do you think it'll get to that point?
Because it wouldn't be UK, it would be NATO.
So it's obviously it would be a long shot because obviously you'd have all the NATO's
armed forces and then if there's a backlog, it wouldn't just be everyone from one country,
obviously it'd be dividend.
Yeah, it will be spaced out across all of NATO countries.
But do you think it'll get to that?
Do you think there'll be a war basically?
I feel like there will be a bigger war than what's already happening because it is technically
a war.
But I don't think it would be like a world war.
Yeah, I don't think there'll be mass destruction like how there was with World War Two essentially.
It's a stuff thing, isn't it?
As soon as one's losing and they've got nothing left, it's just nuclear then isn't it?
Yeah, because if one side presses the red button, all the red buttons are getting pressed.
Game over.
Yeah.
Martian.
That's it, yeah.
We'll have to start waiting for those alien listeners of ours to come and save us then.
That's right.
Yeah, it's all madness.
I just can't see it happening.
How many people are really going to sign up for it though?
I don't know.
I reckon there would be, if it comes to it, if it comes to it, you know, and you was needed,
I think you might have a different perspective on it in that moment.
Obviously, you'll never know until it comes, but I think in that moment you might have
a new perspective on it.
It's a bit like, oh, you think about it, mate.
They go, look, your family's gone.
You know what I mean?
Your dog's gone.
Just...
Now, I think unless our country got invaded...
That's what I'm saying.
So like, you could see, obviously, say like, they've, you know, run about rushing obviously
the front of Ukraine and pushing towards...
So if they were heading over and they were touching the British Isles, then yeah, I'd
defend my vicinity essentially.
I wouldn't accept the call up to be sent overseas to go and fight over in Ukraine or wherever.
I'd turn that straight down.
Yeah, I don't think there's enough money really to... worth sacrificing your own life, especially,
you know, going back to when there's not a great deal worth living over here for anyway.
So yeah, she would have...
Yeah, there'd have to be things in place that if this happens, will change X, Y and Z or
looking to change X, Y and Z.
Well, you know, it makes you think why?
Why won't they try and get some of these refugees signed up for it as well?
You know, especially since a lot of them are coming from a war torn countries, but they
are of war fighting age.
Yeah, yeah, and all males.
Yeah, yeah.
So surely they should be able to recruit some of those, you know, as you'd love to think
they'd be willing to graciously say thank you for putting us in homes and keeping us
fed and entertained for free, you know, giving the green card, so to say.
But I'm sure they won't get called off at all.
No, they'd be the last.
Yeah.
But, you know, I could see a situation as well if a million British males got shipped
over, then all these ones that are in these hotels and that put up for free would start
running riot then.
You know, it's bad enough as it is.
I see a lot of these videos where they're, you know, they're trying it on with young
girls and then it's a lot of the dads or whoever that are finding them down the streets and
kicking off.
It's just because they're not, is the word climatising?
Obviously in their country that's probably okay.
In terms of age.
Yeah, I know.
But it's like if you're trying to flee from somewhere to a certain country, you must then
be like, right, this is their beliefs, this is their system.
Yeah because you think about it, they're probably better off in soja.
They probably have better time in jail than they would in their own country because they
get fed, get a job, make friends.
So yeah, but they're already a lot of being bored and that anyway, so they wouldn't need
to go into, into what I'm saying in terms of if they did get locked up for any reason.
I don't think to them it's a bad thing from where they've been because obviously you know,
it's probably a dust in that, not so it's dust, but you know, you get a TVX box down
the line.
Yeah, yeah.
It's not hard, is it?
It's not like the American ones.
No.
Yeah, I feel like we could go down a bit of a dark path.
But now we're going to, we're going to switch it off.
Yeah.
So from literally one extreme to another, going off of a emailed question last week,
I did tell you that I would have some fetishes ready for you.
Yeah.
Now I'm not literally going to pull out the old dildos or anything can start shoving them
down your throats.
Right.
And on this podcast, we've established that getting pecked is gay.
Yeah.
I was just crying out.
What?
That you wanted, you wanted your missus to do it didn't you?
No.
So I didn't spend long having a look at this, but I've got the top 10 most common fetishes
to start you off with.
Right.
So I thought I'd just go through these because they're literally is.
Yeah.
I had to be a bit specific with the search because there was just lists and lists, pages
and pages.
So starting off at number one, the most common is the foot fetish.
Now we've already gone over this.
I don't like it.
It's not my thing.
And I definitely know it's not your property either because the amount of times back in
the day you'd come out with the comment, did you see the size of her feet?
Yeah.
So the one thing that I used to hate going out with is when we used to go out is girls
that used to wear shoes, knowing the shoes were uncomfortable and then just go around
barefoot.
Why?
And that's what I really liked it when girls started wearing like fans and converse.
Yeah.
Just some comfy trainers and that.
That's it.
Cause no, and they had like the black soles from the duck.
Yeah.
The black feet and just the grimy pavements.
Just no need for it.
So as a brief for the foot fetish.
Now some people love it.
I know.
Yeah.
And like socks and I can sense everything.
Yeah.
So the description for the foot fetish is the smell of raw feet does nothing, but makes
you want to take a cold shower.
Uh, I don't know.
So apologies for anyone at home.
This is a, it's the same list, but it's got different descriptions.
The one that I had on my tablet had a description of why people loved it.
So, uh, forget that.
Well, he literally was, it was all the smell of the feet, the taste of the sweat on them.
Some people love the, uh, like what you just says, the dirty feet and that as well.
Yeah.
It was strange.
So since I haven't got that list because it was my fault rushing out this morning, not
picking up the, uh, the tablet.
So, um, yeah.
Number two on there is voyeurism.
So voyeurism it's the broader version of, uh, the, uh, cuckolding.
So it is just either individuals or couples watching other people having sex.
So that's like when you like, when I went to Amstam and you watch a live sex show, it's
basically what it is, isn't it?
Yeah.
But it doesn't have to be, it's not paying to go to a sex show.
Yeah.
Just as a, you know, it's, it's one of those things, parties where people put the keys
in the bowl and stuff and then you just all watching.
Cause I did tell you about, I don't know if I said it on the podcaster.
So when we went to Amstam, like you'd have these like, I'm not going to say in creep
yard men, they're just men.
They'd come in, set the back row.
And then what normally happens is they'll have a show on like a sex show and then brief,
a brief break.
And then like, um, not like a comedy act that I have something in between.
Yeah.
That's it.
And then when all the, like, obviously what I was having when I was having the breaks,
it would jump down a row or two rows.
And then at the end he was at the front, just walking guys in front.
Yeah.
Just start off with a finish.
Uh, and then, yeah.
Number three was latex.
Latex is just a bit of a, it's just, it's just dressing up, isn't it?
In general, when you get to the more extreme version of it, when you've got the full on
gimp suits, well, fair enough, if you, you, you're wearing like a skimpy little latex,
one piece or two piece, whatever, but yeah, full gimp suit and that, um, I just feel like
I'd feel suffocated or something because obviously they're always skin tight and I wouldn't be
able to handle it.
I'd be like talc, so like talcum powder, uh, constantly because I'd be sweating too much
in there.
It just reminds me of the scene from friends with Ross when he's got the leather trousers,
the leather pants.
And I'd feel like I'd be like that on the inside and I'd just, I'd be suffocated.
I wouldn't be able to handle that.
Also pointing out that friends, one of the most overrated TV shows ever.
It wouldn't be made these days.
It's a rubbish.
So number four was domination of submission.
That's when you are in the gimp suit in the submission form, I suppose.
Well it's not just in a gimp suit.
It's just, you can be naked and kicked in the balls.
So what was that fucking safe word on a Euro trip?
You know, do you remember that?
Yeah, because it was a long word.
Yeah, it was like, why's this not enough?
Yeah, underrated film that is.
Um, but again, yeah, I just don't see why.
On the lighter side of it, we've just a little bit of blood tied up handcuffs on the bed
and stuff.
Yeah, same.
When people literally just want to be tied and just, you know, melting wax on them and
just getting, just pain.
Why would you want to be in pain?
Yeah, also, all I can think about is Scotty doesn't know.
Don't tell Scotty.
He was on there on TikTok the other day and I listened to the whole song.
It was just banger after banger.
We met there on his birthday.
For anyone that hasn't or doesn't know what we're on about Euro trip.
So it was, it wasn't a sequel or a prequel, but it was from the same company as the Euro
trip.
Yeah.
But yeah, Euro trip.
So it was like American college students or high school that just graduated or something.
Yeah.
And he goes to visit, but he thought he was speaking to it.
Yeah, how was he Germany that he thought was a man.
Yeah.
But yeah, they ended up going across Europe.
Vinnie Jones is in it and a few other famous people, but yeah, just absolutely quality
film.
If you haven't seen it, it's just, just watch it.
It's funny.
During COVID I went back and watched all those corner films.
Like, as you said, bro, a trip, American pie, another tea movie, just stuff like that.
Cause they don't make them no more.
No, no.
And the ones that they do just the dead end.
Yeah.
They all saw it.
Yeah.
Well tangent as we always do.
We, we carry on.
Yeah.
Body piercing.
I wouldn't have thought this is a fetish, you know, but you know, again, some people
do go a bit extreme.
They have the whole body's pierced.
Yeah.
But still is that a fish for someone else to admire on themselves?
Like the, like the fear now?
Does that make sense in what I'm saying?
Well, I suppose it probably can be for some because not necessarily, well, from previous
experiences the clitoris piercing wasn't really a benefit for me.
But then I know that some men do have their balance pierced and stuff, but again, I don't
know.
I'm not a female, so I don't know if that would feel nice or not.
Yeah.
It wouldn't be for me.
Breasts and behinds, old dairy hairs.
That's it.
So I think this is just, this is just a natural attraction.
This is just, this isn't really a fetish.
It's just what it is.
Yeah.
Because this, this was the same list on several, so it's this one.
So yeah, breasts and behinds, that's just standard, you know, so if that's, that's a
thing, then we're both kinky fuckers.
I won't ask your preference, that can cause an argument later.
Hair is at number seven.
No.
I'm talking about, is that the bush?
No, it was just hair.
So...
It could be hairy armpits.
Yeah.
So it wasn't just the hair on your head or the pubic region.
It was literally people are licking the armpits and not shaving the arms and legs in general
and stuff.
But fair enough, each to their own, with their own personal whole gene, as we was talking
about the other week, I would do, keep myself trimmed up.
Definitely the armpit hair, because it just holds the BO sweat, a lot of the smell of
it all the time.
So yeah, I'm trying to keep groomed with that.
So I wouldn't, I wouldn't want to be, it's bad enough pulling beard hairs out of my tongue
some, you know, having a sip of the cup of tea and it's the tushies going into the mouth.
So yeah.
It shouldn't be a fetish, it's just a weird list really, isn't it?
Besides...
But again, wait until we get to the other one, mate.
Cross dressing, again, that's just most of the younger generations now really though,
isn't it?
So can't really give much comment on that, although it's gay.
Now again, water, thunder and lightning, to me, it's, I didn't understand how people could
get sexually aroused from this as well.
So in general, most people like the sound of the rain and when there is thunder and
lightning, it's nice to listen to.
It is, especially going to wood when you go into bed and it's, you can hear the thunder
light in the rain.
Just a bit of background noise and that.
But I've really struggled to understand how people could get aroused from it.
Thank you to it.
Yeah, well, you know, trying to time it with a bolt of lightning or something.
I really don't get what some people have going through their minds.
But then number 10 on this list anyway was furries.
This is a relatively new one in the whole game of kinks and fetishes.
So it's when the people dress up as an actual furry animal, so like a dog or a cat.
So not just the weird, not just the weird gym suits as not with dog colors.
It's actually dress up as a dog.
Yeah.
Or look as a cat or a fox or whatever.
So furries is because the actual costume is a furry costume.
This is just taking cosplay to an extreme.
And none of them just seem like, just seem a bit strange down there.
Yeah, I think that kind of fetish for some people is stemmed too far from when they're
watching Bugs Bunny, Space Jam and getting a bit too into Lola Bunny.
Yeah, so, you know, that's to me, it's almost getting too close to the line of those because,
you know, it's like, are they looking at people's dogs while out on the street and thinking,
oh yeah, if that was a human dressed as that dog.
Well, you know, it's yeah, it's it's borderline.
Make sure I use the wrong words there, but it's it's borderline bestiality really that
is isn't it?
It's a strange one.
It definitely is a strange one.
No, I thought I'd found the same page as the other one.
Now, I did have a wrong and least basically, I thought I found the same one.
Apologies for everyone at home, but it is the real talking podcast.
You know, we do have the realist real problem.
Yeah, technical issues.
Do the old SpongeBob thing or something.
One done a deliver.
This cracks me up.
Why does every website have to just pop up with cookies?
Oh, yeah.
There should be a way just to sell it on your laptop.
So it just automatically clicks accept or whatever version or whatever cookies you want
to use on it.
Yeah, you know, we can't use a website without you popping up.
Just accept it.
Now, yeah, this has got some of the ones on there.
So some of the weird and just outright wrong fetishes now, which I just don't.
This really is strange.
Now I think we covered some of these before when we did go over the fetishes.
So I'm not going to go too in depth on them.
I think the old failure arousal and thought of how foreign damnation.
It's the names of them as well, isn't it?
It's just yeah, no, it's not.
It's not as simple as cook.
Yeah, just kick your balls off.
Yeah, there's no need for it.
But yeah, it's the word.
No, it's awful.
Why would you feel aroused at the thought of being damned to hell or getting tortured
for well, I suppose that's the most extreme version of the BDSM's and isn't it just.
I think like another level.
Yeah, all eternity getting slapped and just horrible BDSM stuff.
The arousal to insects.
It's just it's just weird, isn't it?
On statues.
Again, I just don't.
The one I thought people do cars down there as well.
Yeah, which I think that was on here as well.
Then elderly people would.
Outly people just matured.
Oh, yeah.
So we know what actually is in Tuna.
And then yeah, who looks at a tree and thinks, oh, yeah.
Imagine if you had a few of them like the rain, the tree.
Yeah, sitting underneath the tree during a thunderstorm.
I don't think that's a good idea though, is it?
But the weirdest one.
Well, actually, it's hard to say which one is the weirdest one.
So coprophilia and that's the arousal to feces.
So that's people that want to get shit on.
No, you know, just pull your pants down, drop a big dump on my chest.
It's disgusting.
You know, it's always two girls, one coprophilia.
Yeah, what's it called as well when you're like getting pissed on?
What's that called?
Golden shower.
I could see you getting into that.
No, no, no.
It's just a mess of it.
You'd have to do it in the bath.
The golden shower doesn't get you shit on it.
And when no one pisses in the bath, we've established that.
No, we've established that you piss out on a trick, dude.
You know, you're just not being efficient enough, are you?
I suppose.
I don't know on that list.
Weirdest for the issues.
Yeah.
Missing the bath.
So yeah, definitely the weirdest one was necrophilia.
You know, dead people.
Yeah, that's a fucking weird one.
I don't know why you would be into just a dead person.
No.
I just feel there's too many, too many strange people out there, isn't there?
I mean, when does that opportunity come to for you to realise that's what you're into?
You'd have to just be working on them all.
Yeah.
Think, oh yeah, this isn't easy, dog.
They can't say no to the dead.
Cold though as well.
I mean, if you want a cold pussy, just get a flesh lot and don't put it in the microwave
or whatever.
Or on the radiator.
I don't know.
It is strange.
I think going off of that, it's just safe to say we are a bit too vanilla.
I mean, that's like that is like the strange, strange fetish in there, isn't it?
That is like, you know, there's I feel like there's pegging and then there's, you know,
and then there's that.
Yeah.
So yeah, what one are you going to try this weekend?
None.
None of them.
So similar to the army question you asked me, if you had to have one of these fetishes,
which ones do you think you'd choose?
Boy, a boy origin, boy, say the word for me, mate.
Yeah, so you'd be a boy.
I don't know what.
Was it boy or is it?
Yeah, so it was boy origin, but I don't know.
Yeah.
I don't know what you'd call yourself because it's on here.
So just watch.
Just watch people.
It's like a boy.
Yeah, so the fetish is boy origin, but I don't know.
I think that's like the safest option as well.
What would you do, mate?
It's definitely the safest option.
You did the animal, the animal, like one of them.
The furries, yeah.
No.
I've got a big furry dog, so I'm not going to...
I wouldn't be able to go past it.
I can't even have him in the bedroom looking when we're about to make a sweet alert.
No, he has to stay out of the way.
So I couldn't do it, no.
Why isn't it just a safe one of just standard dressing up, you know, just the old nurse's
outfit and that?
Why aren't them the standard ones?
Those things, I've never done anything for me, and I had to dress up things.
Never have done.
It's not me.
Yeah, the school uniform's a weird one, ain't it?
Yeah.
I understand why it's in the majority of men's heads because, you know, when you're an early
teenager, you start to go through puberty, you know, your hormones are raging.
You've seen all the girls at school in the uniform.
So that's going to be impressed into the mind.
So it's always going to be sort of there, I imagine.
But it's a bit strange just going up to your missy's who's, you know, well past school
age anyway, and just saying, go on, get your old school uniform out.
Yeah.
Just if they can still fit in you, that is.
Yeah, it's...
No, it's weird.
I couldn't do it.
I couldn't do it, especially with our old school uniforms.
Get the blue blazer out, Bob.
Get that jumper on.
Oh, God.
Get your old PE shorts on.
No, I couldn't have it.
No.
I could not have it whatsoever.
So we are pretty...
Yeah, just plain, any...
I mean, don't get me wrong.
I'm not saying I just log in missionary style, but, you know, it's...
Yeah, I'm not venturing out onto any of those.
I'm not going to start going dog in or incorporating.
Dog in is a weird one, isn't it?
Because why wouldn't you just go to a sex club if you want to have sex with strangers?
Why do it outside?
It must...
Or is that the thrill of it?
Yeah, I think it must be a part of it, because there's the potential of getting caught,
like the place turning up or something.
Yeah, it's like a thrill factor for it.
Yeah, but I don't know why you'd want to do it, especially in the cold weather and stuff.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
And in the woods...
Or the rain.
Unless you've got one of those that are finished with the rain.
Yeah, yeah, if you've got the rain fetish, yeah.
But no, it's... yeah, in the woods, in the dirt and all that, you know.
That's why I always... why wouldn't you just go to a sex club?
Yeah.
But yeah, probably is that the thrill.
Yeah.
The thrill.
But no, not too much excitement in my life.
What was that?
Too much excitement in my life, obviously I was being sarcastic.
Yeah.
No, so we'll move off of all of that.
As I said, that was from an email last week.
And if any of you lovely listeners do want to send in your emails, as always,
the links are always in the description.
Email is at realtalkingpodcast at gmail.com.
Twitter, XSpace, Elon Musk's site is at Ash and Jade D.
Follow us on the YouTube and that if you're not already on here.
And then, yeah, as always, log, share, subscribe, download.
Yous all know what to do.
Yeah.
Yeah, and keep doing it.
Keep sharing it out.
So, on to the emails anyway then.
I'll start off with James.
My little mate James.
So he's still dodging the question a bit.
Right, because he's the one who told you Batman knew any of the shit.
Yeah, he's a little Hall fan.
And he hasn't said where he's from, he just says on Scouse, Provence, Through and Through.
Scouse then?
But I bet he's...
No, he's...
No, he's on the outskirts.
He's a Hall fan.
He's from the real world.
He's a Hall man, he's not like living by...
I think he's proper, right in the middle of Merseyside.
Nah, he's not, he's not kind of a...
Like, where in one sense, or MX95s, wherever you're from.
No white socks, not allowed.
Just fucking...
Yeah, nah, he's definitely...
Nah, he has.
Nah, he's not.
So what's James saying?
So he just says on Scouse, Through and Through.
So Jim is the British Glazer, so he's still trying to give me a bit of stick about my inaltive.
I ain't holding any faith at the moment.
We've had a little bit of good news with some of their activity this week.
Taking Berada from Man City.
But it's just all a bit too fishy to me.
They've got the 115 allegations floating over the Reds.
I feel like he's just jumping ship.
He's been there for over 10 years.
He's been a part of these so-called allegations.
So I feel like he's trying to just leave that before it all comes back to biting me in the arse.
And our James is Liverpool fan, isn't he?
And obviously news out today that Jurgen Klopp is obviously finishing at the end of the season.
He might retire for good, but he said he's not going to work in England again.
He just needed some time off to have a break.
So I've not seen any of this.
He'd be a bit worried about that.
So he's gone away.
How was that one?
It was amazing. I thought I was in the room with Jamie Carragher.
Oh God, Lord of Fleming that one.
He needs to swallow sometimes, Danny.
Hey, hey, calm down. Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey.
Harry Enfield quality.
So James, we want to know exactly where you're from.
Don't give us your bird's eye.
Give us your bird's eye.
I'll just rock open his door.
I've got half of your guns.
Yeah, tell us where you're actually from.
Don't be around the bush because you're not on the docks.
James, I know where you're from, mate. Honestly.
No.
But yeah, we'll see what happens with Sergium.
Rat.
As the diehard listeners do know, I wanted a 100% sale.
Whether it was Qatar or anyone else.
I mean, all that was bucks.
The Glazers report saying that Qatar didn't give any evidence that they had the funds for it.
They've got the money.
Yeah, it's just bullshit.
It's just because they can't, obviously their wealth is like inherited in so long from oil and just governments.
But you think we've because they had the company doing all the legal side of the transaction and that.
So there would have been emails back and forth asking for proof of wealth, intentions, what they want to do with the club and all that.
So my other just for this was a better deal because I still get to obviously take money from the club.
It's the Glazers didn't want to sell.
And then Jim's the best option to, you know, he's given one point three billion and they're still going to get profit from the club as well.
Especially if the super league does happen.
It's just going to be ridiculous.
But I'm holding out a bit of faith, you know, he's making some moves, as I say, with the Barado, you know, some of the higher up staff that he's looking at bringing in.
But, you know, it's still a we're still not five years away before if things go wrong, it's still probably five years before getting close to winning the Premier League again.
And, you know, we've established that Mark Goldbridge does does listen to this podcast.
I think he's got some of his team listening as well.
Just get him on.
Look, honestly, I've got the receipts to back it up.
So, yeah, James, let us know what the sketches, man.
Where are you? Where are you from?
Really? I reckon it's Merseyside.
100 percent.
I don't have any.
Not having, you know, I want like a picture of him holding up the Liverpool Echo or whatever.
Standing standing on the docks in the in the shopping centre or something because I don't have any.
Not bollocks, lies.
But yeah, thanks for email, James.
Yeah, thank you for that.
So we've got an email from Abby and she's asking, did a teacher ever try to embarrass you in class?
But you had a brilliant response.
Oh, so the one that came to mind when I read it the other day was
I think we were still in year seven or it might have been year eight, but it was still early in our secondary school anyway.
So when we had the the form, the first period where you was with your form class, you do your register and whatever.
For whatever reason, that day in particular, it was substituting.
So as the coordinator of the register says, oh, Devlin, any relation to Paul?
So for anyone that doesn't know, Paul Devlin used to play for Birmingham City Football Club as well as other football clubs.
Not many, I don't think. Yeah, his mainstay was at Blues anyway.
And the class, it mustn't have been year seven because you probably would have remembered.
But yeah, the teacher says, yeah, any relation.
I was gone, yeah, he's my uncle. Oh, really?
I went, no, he's not. And everyone was laughing.
You know, it was one of the one of the proudest moments of school, really, because I wasn't really open or anything, to be fair.
I wasn't this confident person that you're all hearing and see at home.
I was quite close up, really, just the kid that got bullied all the time because they were all cunts.
So, yeah, that was just a quick, quick witty.
I've got nothing for that. None of them have tried to embarrass you and you were like, fuck off, you're pretty cool.
Well, not like you had a quick response.
No, no, no, no.
But again, because you was relatively quiet as well in school, weren't you?
Yeah, nothing comes to mind. It's always when they're not like after and you have a think about it or something,
something quite possible. The one thing I never understood with school is so, you know, let's call it the Nordic kids and the little shit.
You know, of course, of course, trouble. The one day that they're good.
Teachers go up to that pupil and go, I heard you've been good today. Well done. Keep it up.
Yeah, it's one fucking day. Yeah, it's one fucking day.
How about the people that's, you know what I mean?
They've been doing it all year round. That's the thing that's yeah.
Well, that's from my experience anyway. But no, sorry, I haven't.
I can't answer that. Nothing comes to mind at the moment. But thanks for your email though.
We really appreciate it.
Well, yeah, I don't think there was really anything else.
That was just what first popped to mind. Yeah. It was just a funny one.
Because it was so long ago, wasn't it?
Yeah. Well, as I said the other week, I struggled to remember a lot of stuff that's gone on hold.
Definitely people as well.
And then. So we got an email from Jess again as well.
Hi guys. How do you politely say no to someone who asks for your number?
Oh, I mean, I don't. Sorry, I put the mic down there because I saw the dark out.
Sorry about that. He's trying to jump on my lap.
Just one of these flussies.
I don't think there is a polite way. I would say that if you have let him on, that's then.
Do you know one of them ones? When you know that you're never going to be interested.
Yeah, I think first place. It can be easily misread as a situation for men with politely from women from the opposite gender.
But for me, it's an easy, easy get out now because I've got the old band around the finger, the wedding ring.
I'll give a little tap off. Sorry, love. Taken. I'm off the market.
Otherwise, you just got to be honest. Yeah, I think it's just honestly because just say or just like.
Well, because you can be a bit too honest in this sort of circumstance.
Now, so I don't know if you do. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Or just like say you've got a fella.
I was going to say the main thing would be people like to marry. Don't be an asshole.
Yeah, I think if it's like you in the club and someone comes up, you can say, sorry, I'm just not interested.
That's it. Don't. But if it's something that maybe I know a friend and not maybe he's trying to catch feelings bit more.
Yeah. Then you then it just needs to be like, literally, you were a friend.
That's it. Well, to be fair, you're already a friend. You should already have the number.
So I imagine this is. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Right. Yeah.
So when you're in the closet, I'm just not. I don't know if that's what I'm just saying.
I'm not interested. That's suppose just now.
It's. Don't worry about it, hon. Yeah, I mean, I just said I appreciate the gestures.
And yes, I don't be an asshole about it. Don't go fuck off your console or whatever.
Just just put off. That's all I know. Yeah.
I think just like, yeah, sorry, I'm not interested.
Just as I lie inside with someone if you're not anyway. Yeah.
But yeah, yeah, just just say thanks for your time and effort for coming over and asking for my attention.
But unfortunately, I cannot give it to you. Yeah. Yeah.
And because he would walk away like that, like, makes me want to more.
She was so polite. Yeah. You know, well, here's my number anyway.
Just in case things change, you know, you change your mind or anything.
Just like I doubt my circumstances would change.
Please leave my vicinity while I'll continue to drink and I'll reject your offer.
No, well, thank you for the email. Yeah. Yeah.
So the one that I did want to say for last is new one who.
Inspired today's topics of the miles. Yeah, we got all miles on the molly boy.
He was going through. Yeah. Right. Yeah.
And so again, he's still a little ways behind.
So he said, who taught what the hell that's mad.
Learn something new every day.
So he's referencing to when we give the advice of how to properly walk the walk.
Because you have to do it properly. You can't have any food stains in your underwear.
And yeah, well, we spoke about on previous podcasts.
If you don't know, go back and listen to it.
To be fair, I think there's two or three episodes where we give this advice.
So he's asked, have we got any more hygiene tips? Right.
So for me, as I alluded, as I mentioned earlier, I always like to keep groomed,
keep the armpit hair shaved just for the smiles and stuff, because.
No one looks to want to smell a beer around them.
Yeah, it's all in the gym. That's the worst when you're trying to work hard as well.
Yeah, in the gym, it's more acceptable because everyone should be sweating.
If you're not sweating, you're not working out.
I don't need your excuses. No beer beer is just stale sweat. Yes. Yeah.
So if the fresh not been working out for a little while, it should be fine. Yeah.
But if you're walking in before you've even done anything and you smell no sweat, then yeah, it's wrong.
It's not good. So I'd say yes, the main one would be cleanliness.
Just keep clean. Make sure your teeth are brushed.
You know, I'm just trying to think. Do I do anything?
Everyone has a, you know, a shitting routine in terms of, you know, how long to spend, how many folds of paper.
You know, I've you know, I sit, then I stand. That's just my way.
I'll just find it weird. I don't know why you'd stand up.
I'll get it. You're you're happy with that.
I'll start sitting down and then I always finish off standing up.
So it's weird. I'm just trying to think.
Do you ever just randomly throughout the day think, right, I'm just going to go wipe my bum.
I'm not food. I'm just going to give it a little wipe.
But like, oh, what the good. Tactical wipe.
A re-wipe. Just a tactical re-wipe. So I've never thought of a terminology for it. But every now and again, it's mainly a hot day.
Oh, yeah. I'm a bit sweaty. A courtesy wipe. Yeah.
So if I go to the toilet, I'll just get a little bit of tissue and just give my arse a wipe.
Just to make sure. Because you know what it's like. You're sweating and you're unsure.
Yeah. Just plodding on with your day. You know, you you give it a little trump here and there as well. So you just have to make sure that nothing's come out.
But yeah. So do you ever do it then? Yes. Good. But only in my own house. I never if it was out, I'd never go and do it.
So if the silo I was hot in my house, I would do it. But never if we're out.
If you was, let's just say you've gone to Dratterman for the day, walking around sweating and that.
You wouldn't go into the cubicle and just have a quick tactical wipe then. No.
Because for me, you know, I like to be sitting down. Yeah. You're already in the prime position.
But when I'm in places like that, I don't stand.
Would you not clean the toilet seat with a bit of tissue first? I mean, we've we still I could stand and do I mean, that's how I finished.
But no, just that's just not me. I don't know.
No, I do it on holiday as well. Yeah.
No, I don't think I would.
It's not a common thing that I do. It's not like a daily thing.
Yeah, I know what you want about it. I know what you're referring to.
Yeah, it's just how you feel. Oh, it's a little bit moist in between the arse cheeks.
Little wipe. Refreshing off. I'm trying to think. Is there anything
like that, that obviously to answer Mozi's question, but I think it's the same.
I'm just going to stay clean.
Yeah, we're about to start in the office.
Me, I like to brush my teeth two times a day. Yeah, you got to make sure your teeth are clean. With mouthwash.
Again, with cleaning your teeth, do you have the same order the way you go around your mouth?
Yes, pretty much. Always start off on the front.
Move to the left. Go all the way to the right.
Then I open my mouth. I do bottom right. Back of the front. Bottom left.
Then I go to the top left. And because I've got me one wisdom tooth that's grown out of the funny angle,
I'll give that extra bit of attention around that just to make sure there's no hidden bits of food there.
Then continue back. Top left. Behind the front teeth. And then top right.
Yeah, it's pretty much the same. And then I finish off with the front teeth again, just as a final.
Because that's the teeth that everyone always sees.
Stuff like that. I just never think I've got it. I wonder if everyone else does it the same.
Also, do you put roll-on on? If you used to use roll-on, would you use roll-on then deodorant or deodorant then roll-on?
Because I roll-on. Obviously, I like the roll-on and the sprays where it's invisible so it doesn't stay on your clothes.
Yeah, yeah.
So I don't need to deal with that. All my life, I've always put the roll-on, then sprayed.
Because I get up early, I just didn't have to go to the gym a bit earlier. I just sprayed and I was like, do I just roll-on that?
And I didn't because I thought, it's just fucking weird now.
Well, yeah, you've been doing it roll-on. You put the roll-on on first, then you'd spray.
Because if you're spraying then rolling up, you're rolling...
But when you're just rolling the essence more and with it, the same way that you just roll-on sprayed stuff. Do you know what I'm saying?
Yeah, I feel that to me, the roll-on would be wiping it off.
Oh, I've got a little tip for you actually. I always spray aftershave on the back of my neck.
Because you know when you're talking to people in a loud environment, you're always facing their back. So that's a little tip actually.
Yeah, I've never done that. I'll do it on the sides of my neck.
I'll put it on the back of my neck going down. So like where you know if you had a colour, it'd sit on the back of your neck.
Why does someone spray it on the bollocks as well?
I don't know.
I just don't get that because I've kissed ladies' necks before and it's covered in perfume and you get that horrible taste in your mouth.
So why would you then think, oh it's going to be a good idea to put this smell on my bollocks so then if I'm lucky enough that she's going to lick my balls, she's going to taste the aftershave as well. I just don't get it.
Taste the savage.
A bit of juke.
Oh, that's another thing as well. I always have. I don't know if I have. I wouldn't say she has to say, but I have every day aftershave.
So everyone gets the juke curlesy one for Christmas, well I do for years, and the Versace blue jeans. So they are my everyday work ones.
And then, yeah.
See, for work I don't tend to put on aftershave because I'm just in a dusty environment and working away and most of the time it's just me and then whoever I'm working with. So I don't smell nice for anyone really.
But yeah, I do know what you're saying. I've got the cheaper ones and then I've got more expensive ones.
So if you can just go and shop and you put the shit one on, but then if you go in for a meal or for some drinks. Out, out.
So yeah, for me and for Mo, a little aftershave on the back of the neck. Especially if he's singing and he's speaking to ladies. Or all men, we never know. Or both. We've established kids now.
Or all the other genders. Any of them.
Well we're not assuming he's a man actually. I'm sorry for this. To be honest, yeah, I don't know.
I'd say, so, other than the obvious of keeping clean anyway. So yeah, Ashley's little spritz on the back of the neck.
Mine would be, keep your nails trimmed. Now I'm saying it when I need to cut my nails. But nails cut, keep them short. And depending on what nail clips you've got, use a nail file.
Right, oh yeah, I don't use, yeah.
Because if you're cutting games not neat, then you need to just use a file just to smooth off those bad boys afterwards.
There's nothing better for me when my girlfriend cuts my nails. Because I'll ask her to do it. And she'll fall them and everything. She'll do my toenails, cuts my fingernails, falls them.
I don't know why I didn't expect this from you to be honest.
She loves it?
You just get full on pampered, don't you?
She loves it. I love it when she does it.
I could just imagine you there with the little toe separators.
Oh no, no, no.
I'll bet you do. Go and tell your separators and she's buffing them up and everything.
One time though, I went to her and I said, what did you do here? She's like, yeah, I had a face mask on.
And then she pissed all over you.
It's coming over now, I've had this face mask on and I'm like, so chilled.
No, we was on about the face mask the other week, weren't we? Because my missy's got your missy's son as a little gift.
I've done them in the past, but I feel like such a waste of money if I was to do one now because I can only do the top half of my face.
And the eyes, you never get the bit that you really want, which is like the bags under your eyes.
I give up trying to get rid of my bags years ago.
Have you ever done the black face mask where it gets the heads out and stuff?
Yeah.
Again, I did it once, but I think because I got one of the cheaper ones, it just didn't really do much.
But to be fair, I've never really been that clogged up. Like me balls, I haven't really been that clogged.
Mate, have you seen his fucking finger?
I didn't want to speak about your mate.
My fucking friend, yeah.
Honestly, I've six my girlfriend pops some spots as well for me.
I can't. Can't stand some brawls.
Lord, do you get them on your back often?
No, literally I don't get them. Not often.
So from time to time I'll have one, Lord, but it's such an enjoyment for my missy's if I say, can you get these on me back?
Yes.
Because it's normally as I've gone into bed as well.
So Lord, it's on my stomach.
She's there, Lord, straddled over me. Prime pagan position.
I'm never that lucky, mate.
She won't put the big lights on, so the ceiling lights.
Yeah, it could be the phone.
Yeah, the torch on the phone.
But then because she's trying to use both hands to pop the spot.
Yeah, you have to hold the phone.
No, she'll hold it in a mouth.
So all I keep hearing all the time is because she's leaning over me instead of Lord, I'd say, well, no, she has to fucking, Lord, crouch over me sort of thing.
Just inhaling the saliva that's dribbling onto her phone.
Oh, Jesus.
My partner thinks she's a surgeon when she sees a spot.
The torch is out, the tweezers are out, especially if I've only grown out.
OK, now she loves it.
Because I'll get them on my legs sometimes as well, also just look around the calves and whatever.
And certain areas I can't get to.
And it's so sensitive when trying to get that.
But yeah, she'll get the tweezers on them sometimes as well.
She's not too rough, not digging in and stabbing.
What are you doing, man?
Well, times have changed.
You can't lay a hand on them now, can you?
I will say this, though.
This is the worst spot I've had in my life.
I'm not fucking here.
Kylie keeps fucking me.
But it's been there for about a week now.
Just water.
Just need to stop messing with you.
I had a...
Have you put any toothpaste on it?
No, I don't think that works.
I know it's...
No, I've done...
I had a towel.
I had a towel put on it.
Nothing, mate.
Honestly, it's not budging on my overall fucking twin.
Just going to stop playing with it.
I can...
Anyway, anyway, yeah.
So, yeah, thanks for the email, Miles.
I appreciate it.
It's funny because you think in six weeks or something,
they'll catch up to this point, but I've read my emails.
So we'll wait for that one.
Unless you listen to new ones and then going back to older ones to catch up.
I don't know.
But yeah, on that, popped pimple.
We'll leave it there.
Well, unpopped pimple.
Spot on, mate.
Fuck you, man.
All over the place.
It would have thought we'd start off about going to war and finish on...
And complain about spots.
This is what we would have hoped for.
So hopefully yous have enjoyed it as much as we have.
And as always, appreciate you.
Give the logs, the downloads and all that.
Yous know what to do.
And yeah, keep the emails coming.
All the questions.
We love you.
We're here for the advice.
And yeah, it's been a little bit of a long one again, but you know, it is what it is.
So we'll see you next time.
Peace.