Hello everyone, welcome back to this week's episode of the Real Talking Podcast with your
host Ash and JD. So we're still here, brave the cold front. It's been a bit colder than
normal to be fair, which, you know, for the non UK listeners, you know, usually anything
below sort of minus three, four, it's an extreme weather for the UK, well, it's not a UK, you
know, general England. Yeah, more Scotland probably. Yeah, Scotland and Northern Ireland
and that, they're used to it, you know, it's still shorts and t-shirt weather for them.
But the other morning, well, was it yesterday morning? I don't know. The morning when it
was the extra cold notes, as I first woke up, it was minus 10 at morning. Minus 10.
That's what it was saying on the old Alexa next to the bed, look, cause it was around
four o'clock and dog was lying at the bottom of the bed, still all cuddled up and just
chilling and I thought, yeah, I ain't getting up yet then. So I lay there for another hour,
wait for it to warm up a little bit. It was still minus seven as I was walking in my absolute
horrendous. Yeah. It reminds me of that. Um, remember the beast from the East? I think
it was called. Well, yeah. Cause I know they'd give it some other name. But the beast from
the East, that was cold. Yeah. But I don't remember it getting down to minus 10 in the
Midlands. I know that was cold because I had to put trousers on at work, but it was more
so the wind with that beast. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Madness. The blue was, I've had no snow.
No, not, not a small little flutter. Yeah. Monday morning. Yeah. I'll nip around to your
brothers and it was just a light coat on the floor. It's probably called flutter. Yeah.
Where it's, you know, you just scrape it with your nail and it's a factor of payments again
then morning. I love the snow that means like, it's like when you're at school and you like,
you know, when you don't have to go in, I don't know if it gets too bad. We don't, we
can get in on Monday or not. So not to come in. So in the Midlands, we don't really have
a great deal of West Midlands, Birmingham, Coventry and Wolverhampton and all that. Um,
sorry, Jack. How great was that? Being a kid, listening on the radio to see if your school
was closed and your school was only one fucking open. Yeah. Begging it like, or cutting us
up into one fucking hole. Yeah. Watch TV. I remember having that primary school. Yeah.
Secondary school. I don't think I remember having a day called off. Cause it's not. No,
no, no. I just remember junior school every time my mom listens to the radio. Yeah. Never
my school. No. Cause back then it was BRMB as well. BRMB. Which it's free radio now,
isn't it? Something like that. Yeah. I don't have a few of them changed names. Yeah. Free
radio was our BRMB. Um, oh God, the memories. Well, uh, yeah, as an adult, we've not really
had a great deal of snow. Not us anyway. Like the more rural areas tend to have a good bit
of a flutter. We did have a good couple of inches. Yeah. We did have some, I would say
about eight years ago, maybe even longer than that. And he was, I know, I know he's bad
because we got sent home early from work and then got told not to come in. So that's when
you know, it's bad. Well, the most, uh, was about four years ago around in Govindry anyway,
which again, it was probably not four centimeters. So not much at all. Have you seen those time
lapse ones on tick tock? Um, it's mainly in America, I think not Buffalo, but they have
a storm from coming in. Yeah. And then there's one of the other that plastic deck chair out.
So you see just building up and then on top of the chair and stuff. So I have to build
like a walkways in the garden for the dogs. Yeah. Yeah. And look after where I look, um,
I don't know what you look a ski mask, but it's like thermal. Yeah. Yeah. So, you know,
the Royal actually the frozen everything. Yeah. Well, there's a real cold that is my
honor. There was a video I saw the other day. It's a, a Sweden chap. Don't know his name,
but he did a time lapse. Um, so he, he had his hair, but we've got longer similar to
myself, but he had it, uh, like platy and French braid or whatever. So it's like the ponytails
down each side and then he's got a little bit of a beard. And so again, he time lapsed
it kind of, uh, it was like, this is my face, uh, outside in the snow. Uh, well, no, I think
it was just the cold actually. It wasn't snowing. Uh, this is my face 15 minutes later. You
can see like a little bit of the frost building up on his, on his bed and his head. And then
like after an hour it's full of icicles hanging off his bed, his eyelashes and looking like
hanging from his nose, everything. And he's like, like the end of it was like, right,
I need to go back in now. He just walks off. So, uh, yeah, it's madness, but we don't have
anything like that. It's never that cold, but again, it's the wind that's made it feel
worse around here as well. Cause it's, there's more wind, like weather warnings because of
the high winds and stuff. Yeah. Oh, yeah. It's, it's just, uh, it's not a wintry country
and the way that the whole country just has to just die from it because the roads can't
function. Yeah. It's not built for it. Yeah. How many people do you know, switched to winter
tires? No one has winter tires over here. No, anytime there is just a bit of snow settled,
no one can drive anywhere. I remember, again, it might have been about four or five years
ago. Uh, again, a bit of snow, nothing major, but I drove all the way to Worcester and because
my uncle couldn't get off of his drive cause he was parked on like a bit of a hill. So I was like,
mate, I'm heading over the job needed to be finished and that. So he's had to walk up
the hill with his tool bag and that off, stay parked up the top. Cause I was like, I ain't
driving down here cause if I get stopped, I'm stopped. So, uh, yeah, he's walked up,
popped his tools in the back and we still drove to the job. And when it was our Chris,
like, if it was Johnny, he would have just, Lord says, no, sack it up. But I thought, no,
cause if it was the other way around, Chris would have drove to me and Lord, he would have got the
job done. So, uh, yeah, I was like, yeah, now we're getting this done, kid. We're getting,
get yourself up there. I'll pick you up. But it was, no, nothing major. But we did the, uh,
bit of snow a couple of years ago. It was with my old dog, what, Malay. And, uh, you know,
that was just annoying. Fair enough. Get it. It's a snow dog and that thought that's what they're
built for pulling sledges and that. But I don't know why people have to think, oh, this is,
this is going to be funny. Everyone, oh, the dog should be pulling you on a sledge. Oh yeah,
I know. But I ain't got one. And you're not the 12 person to say in the last 10 minutes. Like that.
They're just fucking, you know, it's, it's like the insults, any, all the ginger insults and that.
I've heard them all. No, nothing original. There's that place in Russia where it's that cold. Like
you can't go outdoors and I'm sure it's dark for like 20 days a year. Well, I say days, but it's
just nighttime. It's full on nighttime. 24 hours. Yeah. Cause like even like throughout the majority
of the year, the sun's only up for like two, three hours or something. Isn't he? Um,
why would you live there? Just move in it. I dunno. Cause it's not a wholly populated place.
Less than a hundred or something. Isn't it? I think I'm not too sure on the actual pop.
It's not a big city. It's not like a major city, but it's just smooth.
But it's just, just what they're, they're happy with, you know,
maybe they'd say that the cold doesn't bother me too much though, to be fair.
Oh yeah. But that's like more than 20, mate. It's not no dialogue. Yeah. But again, it's, it's,
it's like how about summers different, the colds different over there as well. Any? No, don't get
me wrong. I know that sounded as stupid as you come out on, but look, you know, it's like when you go
on a holiday in the summer and you can step off the plane, the heat difference as well. Any?
Oh, that is the humidity. Yeah. Yeah. Obviously for anyone that's like England is not a world,
UK is not in the summertime. It's not, it's like winter. We're not built for it. The houses and
Belfort, there's no air conditioning houses. Nah. And it's just, it's just a different,
yeah. It's a different heat. Yeah. But yeah, I reckon it's the same with the cold as well.
It's a different cold. Yeah. It just feels different.
And when there's like a windstorm, then that'll get through to you. You know, you, you, you see
it on the films and whatever, not that it's not locked up completely or decked up. They can still
block the scheme ones and stuff. They're still there. We've faces exposed and that's like,
you know, cold temperatures. Right. I know. I get what you're saying from that, but yeah.
Yeah. But, uh, we just didn't, we just didn't build for it. I remember when our mate was moving
from, I don't know if it was locked from Bista, uh, but moving barracks from Bista to Wales.
Uh, yeah, it must, it must have been that journey, but we had a good bit of snow then. And that was
probably 12, 13 years ago or something. Um, and I remember being on the motorway,
everyone's struggling and I'm just there, just plodding on, just doing all, I don't know, 10,
15 more. It took hours to get there and ended up staying anyway. Cause I had John give us a hand
as well. Um, and he's drove back in it. I ended up staying. I was like, yeah, save it for the morning.
So John drove there and then drove back as well. Yeah. Yeah. He went back home. Um,
I think he had the red Astra back then, not John, uh, Kiefer. I think he had the Astra back then,
but he was in the van with me. Right. It was all stacked up. John's van was stacked up and, uh,
yeah, just drove there, done the mission and, uh, yeah, I stayed anyway.
Just, I just remember just seeing people just thought cars are banned because it just stuck.
But you know, stuff like you just have to play it savvy, just stick in the,
or if you find a library, stick behind them because they've dug down into the snow over north.
So you can follow their threads where people were still trying to just play past, but there's no,
like I know the Reese's some snow plays, but there's not enough over here. Is that long?
No, no. To be able to cope with a storm. Mr. Platt. Yeah.
It is a country. Any, when you think about it, 100% right. But it's all weather conditions.
Like I hate driving when it's raining because not so much me, but everyone else it's like,
Oh no, the spray. I need to, I need to slow down. No, just, just don't be in the fast,
not fast lane lane free. Don't be in lane free. If you're not confident driving at least 60,
still why does it have to be 50 mile an hour in lane free and they're not overtaking? Just,
yeah, just move over. If you're not comfortable with it, just move over.
I'm not fucking too many morons. I did it the other day. I was driving back home and it must
have been for a good lot. Three minutes. I'm in lane two overtaking all the lorries on in lane one.
And I was just moving between lane two and three overtaking lorries and that back over.
And everyone just sat in lane four. I'm like, what are you doing? I'm undertaking all of them
because they're just morons just sitting behind each other. Get a grip man. Oh God,
cracks me off driving. And then this morning, you know, it's pitch black and I'm on this
drove past drive, driving on the country road and that. And, uh, look, so I've got my normal
head loads up and I can't see the road because everyone else's their head loads are that bright.
It's canceling more loads out. I thought the high beams are. Well, no, cause it seems like high
beams, but all the newer cars with the LED head lights, it's just that bright. So I got pissed off.
I ended up putting my high beams on and it's not long years ago. Someone had the high beams on you.
You flash them to say, turn them down. Not one, no one flashed me to say, turn them down. Most
cars have that adaptive, um, night. I can't remember the right word. I know you mean like
you drive into a tunnel and the head loads come on. Yeah. But if you see the lights coming up,
see why, especially in Audi's the lights, they're more dimmed down. Yeah, but you can turn that
off though. And that's what I reckon most people just turned up that technology, even don't turn
it off or don't know how to turn it on. Um, yeah. So it's just ridiculous. So a good five minutes
until I got off the main country road, I had my full high beams on and no one, no one flashed me
to say, turn them down. But I did it last year as well. Uh, well, why did it was, well, you know,
cause I'm out early, uh, most days just as soon as I left, leave the house, holy beams on, no one
was flashing me that either. It just goes to show how broad everyone else's head lights are. No,
they just don't think, ah, that cunt's got his high beams on. Yeah. I mean, more normal loads
don't even turn off the fucking, the thing's just been knackered for quite a while. At least the
work, you know, rather than stay on all the time and not come on. Yeah. Yeah. It is just, just
anything. The cold rain, heat country just can't cope. Can he? No, no. Speaking of he, I know you're
a big fan. Have you been watching the volume? Okay. The only time I've watched love is when I've switched on the TV in the
bedroom. He's got old TV too. I'm like, I have to wait like 30 seconds for the TV to connect to the
internet properly so I can put on fucking Disney or whatever. Oh, fucking washed that shit. It looks
hot over there in South Africa, right? Is that where they are? I don't know. Yeah. Yeah. Cause yeah.
Is it all stars or something? Yes. It's just people, it's just ones that have been on there before.
Cause I saw, well, it was like some geyser who was on it about six years ago and then he's missy's,
like ex missy's coming as well then. Yeah. I know you're on about, yeah. I don't know that I can't remember the names.
I don't know they are. Cause I flipped the TV on and then I was in the bathroom and I've heard he,
like he was on it years ago and then as I've got into the bedroom, getting my slippers off and then
it's like his ex has walked in and they're all fucking there loving it sitting down. I was like,
Oh God, everyone at home watching this now is going to be fucking buzzing. It's just, you know what?
It's an easy run for most of them. It's they all kind of know each other. Obviously once you've been
on the show, they all kind of like mingle and know people that's been on there. So this, so the thing for me
is anyone that's watched it, no, no. So Toby at the moment is with Georgia. Okay. And that I've got to
think outside the villa. So like in real life, they've been seeing each other out basically,
they've been fucking each other basically. But they must have both known that each other was going on
the show. There's no way that that. Well, yeah, cause I know with a lot of people, I don't know
about love all of them, but I know that Britain's got talents and stuff. People get approached.
Yeah. No, no. Yeah. So, yeah. Well, then cause they've been on it before. So what I'm saying is
if, if they've both been on it and they've obviously they've seen each other and they both get an email
or call in the same few days, they're going to go, Oh, you know, love all of them want me back. And
they're going to go, yeah, me too. So that's what I think it's a bit, this one feels a bit fake for me.
And the other one does no, no, no, it's always laughing because I didn't realize you watch
the all the time. I haven't watched them for years, but like this one, no, no, I don't even know why
we are watching it to be honest. I normally give it a go and hoping there's like it kicks off, but
it just never does. But it's just, this one feels like, because there's two friends I can't, one's
called Liberty and the one's from, uh, called Kaz. So you telling me for, if me and you was on Love
Island and we became friends from Love Island and I had an email or call saying, do you want to go
back on Love Island? I wouldn't tell you who I met on the violence side. I've been asked to go back
on the violin and you would go, yeah, me too. So, and then when she sees that she's like,
ah, I didn't know you was going to fuck off. It's all bollocks, but it's the producers. And
because they do it, you know, they'd be saying to him, oh yeah, act surprised. Um, but I know that
they did it with big brother and all that as well. Did, uh, like get them drunk before going in just
to try and get a better reaction. That's when I used to like it because you could drink on there
and then, yeah. And then literally they'd go upstairs and just fuck. I take it. I can't do
that. I think they're only allowed to two glasses of champagne and like that. I couldn't handle that,
you know, cause essentially you're on holiday. It's a fucking drink all the time, man.
Well, get the challenges and that did it do that? They do love the challenges.
They're always cheese. The challenges are like, they're always like in the windows and stuff.
Yeah. Uh, but yeah, I haven't watched it for a few years, but I don't even know why we started
watching this one, but yeah, what are the challenges? All I can imagine, like it's like,
you've got to massage someone else without getting hard for five minutes.
The one that's all on every year and it's disgusting is so like, it's like true for
Daryl. They have that and then Lyle. So, right. So the worst one to do, there's like,
I don't know what it is. It'd be like a fruit punch or something. And they have to move you
from there to there. But to do so, you have to spit it into your partner's mouth. Then he has
to carry it on and spill it on their end. Whoever gets theirs, the most filled and opposite side wins.
It's shit like that. But the best one is it always happens towards the end. I fucking love it when,
so like the do, I have to word it. So it'd be like, if me and you had a conversation,
it'd be written down and then I have to fill in the blank or they have to guess who said it. So
we could be like, uh, who's on there? Uh, Toby's a right dickhead. And then the, the, oh no, sorry.
That's it. It's called movie night cinema. Sorry. And they'll show that clip of us slagging him off
basically. Right. Right. Yeah. Sorry. That's the one I'm getting at. I'm thinking, I'm sorry.
I'm going in between. So, so the best one is called movie night or something. So it actually,
there's the whole lineup, obviously sit down, sorry. And having popcorn. And if the wind,
like, uh, it'd be like, look, a poll question, like how many UK men won cover two times a day.
You know, the lads be on one side and block 30%. And then they have options then. And it's always
like, um, an indoor one. So like, I dunno, like if Moncourt was Diana, if he called dirty Diana,
so you block, let's watch dirty Diana. And then you'll see like Diana, like probably being flirty
with another lad that she hasn't told the partner she partnered up with. And it's, it's just good
because it just gets the big, it just, you know, it just, it starts, yeah. That's the best. That's
anyone watches here for arguments. It's all big brother. That's, that's what he was good for
arguments. Yeah. Again, it was only a couple of years that I did watch big brother, but it was
more so because I was at home with not living with mom and that she, she used to watch religiously
not when they'd have the 24 hour and all that. Yeah. I used to do that.
Watching the bird was annoying. Yeah. Yeah. I don't know when it was conversations that couldn't be
broadcast. If you could go to a TV show besides almost slept, cause I'd be the easiest one.
What moment would you go on?
Um, I mean, I'll kill it on strictly, you know, get the old dancing shoes. I don't know. I don't
know what ones are around still now these days. I mean, you've got loads of the game shows, but
that's a different question. I mean, we know you'd be on miss fits box in you've all you said you'll
do that. Smash them all up. Honestly, getting him on there. Yeah. There's one this week. I don't know
that. I don't know if it's me. Cause I know that beaver, well, you know, really on the tick tock.
Oh, so you do know. He's been trying to call out people. You know, the school, it just is just
relevant. It's that is just to start relevant. And then all that bollocks is, I don't get him.
He's just fucking weird. Um, cause if you've seen his misses as well. Yeah. She kind of looks on
from the hills. I've always literally. Well, yeah, I didn't want to say about her eyes to be fair,
but she's a one person that you'd have on the lookout right there. They look like they're like
brothers and sisters. That's the thing though. Yeah. It is. It's a strange one. That is. Um,
but yeah, it's, it's once you get some kind of popularity, popularity, popularity. Yeah. Yeah.
Thank you. Uh, that's why everyone seems to want to do it. Cause it just needs you. Well, yeah,
it's, it's uh, how much would that have to offer you for you to fight either. To be fair,
he's the kind of one that you'd want to do for free. Really? Just you do for free athlete. But um,
like, you know, if you, uh, I think the love is one still get a lot of 10 grand or something
like that. You know, just for fucking about six weeks of having a little bit of training,
fucking laughing at you. Um, yeah, it's only three rounds as well. Yeah. Yeah. Three minutes. Fucking
yeah. You're laughing at it. So yeah. Bad is enormous. Well, I can do it. The fear,
I'm just getting absolutely knocked out. Nah, nah, nah. You couldn't live with that. That's
swarms. He got knocked out and he's still like, it just fucking yeah. If you're only more money
than what you make, you know, your music and that you're supposed to. So yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah. It was TV shows. I really don't know what was around. I said I'm not a slap because it's
the first one that comes to mind, isn't it? Yeah. But there's not really many log that.
That I know of. Um, yeah. There isn't really any more is I used to always be. Yeah. Do
you may wonder when the violence used to be to violence as well? No, I never watched any of it.
I've never watched any of it.
There was an island or something, I'm sure.
Now I'm getting mixed up with another one.
Oh, what was that one?
Was it Survivor or something?
Shipwreck.
When, like, they're on an island and they kind of fucking survive.
I'd do that.
That one was good, actually, yeah.
Yeah. I'd be the one fucking making the huts and that.
Get them all kitted out.
Put electricity in there.
Yeah. Just make some solo power stuff out of these and shit.
Yeah, I think that'd be a good enough one.
Oh, I don't know if I'd be able to handle it though, because I'd be fucking...
Without no sun cream, I'd be struggling.
TV shit, ain't it, man?
It's the same.
It is in general, yeah.
It's... I hate that running before it's...
Brienne's got talent, then it goes to X Factor, then it goes to Armysleb.
I don't know which one you would do, the Massinger.
Yeah.
So, no.
Yeah.
Again, it's only from clips on a lot of TikTok and stuff.
I've never actually watched the program.
Yeah, I suppose probably that as well, maybe.
Need to get a lot more famous for fucking...
To get asked for any of these though, so...
Yeah.
I don't know, maybe one day, if more of you people at home do keep sharing and
sending us in your emails, liking, subscribing, downloading, and getting out there, then
maybe one day we will be famous enough to get asked for any of these programs.
I'd love to see you on a boxing event, mate.
Well, it would have to happen sooner rather than later.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Fuck that.
I struggled to get up some mornings just to go to fucking Graff, man.
Wouldn't want to be doing it fucking to do boxing.
Yeah, we got all day.
Do you want to be graffing now, would you?
No, no.
If I was famous enough for that, then wouldn't have happened to me.
Yeah.
Yeah. Look at that.
But now I want to get on to some real talk now anyway.
That why I'm reeling up.
Love on.
You just sent me a selfie to make.
Yeah, fucking...
Well, so this morning, walk in the dark.
Now, well, as we've already touched on, we haven't had no snow or anything, but it's still been
a little bit cloudy.
And where we live in the cities, we don't really see the stars much either, do we?
No, no.
You see the main ones.
If you're lucky enough, you'll see a Ryan's about and that on a clear enough note.
So this morning, it was a lot.
I could see a few stars, but nothing major.
And then, so I'm walking in the dark.
That's why I'm out.
Well, seeing how many stars are in the sky.
But out in the blue anyway, I don't know what I'm dragging out.
I saw what you don't assume as a shooting star.
Right.
So it was a quick, within a second flash of light, just a streamline to say what you naturally assume
as a shooting star.
But as I say, it's not clear enough to see many of the stars.
There's a little bit of cloud in the sky.
Did you have a trail of it?
In the eyeline that I saw it.
I wasn't looking up at the sky, saw it directly.
It was like I saw it passing me.
And it wasn't like I saw it for seconds.
It literally was just that.
And it's gone.
I'm looking around.
I couldn't see any trail of it.
So essentially, you imagine someone shines a light past your face.
So it was that quick.
There's no residue of anything burning in the atmosphere to be able to see physically.
So I'm wondering, did I see a UAP?
You could have, mate.
I know.
Obviously it wasn't anything to properly see a shape or anything.
But since we did talk about the aliens in Miami the other week,
I meant to bring it up last week, but I forgot.
I'm always just talking about everything else.
Sometimes it's like we need a second podcast to carry on talking about some of the stuff.
But it only happened for about three or four days.
But I was hearing this strange sort of like not really a whistling noise,
but just a strange tone.
What it sounded like or similar to was, you know, when you've got an empty bottle,
or well, it can have some liquid in it, you know, when you blow over the lid.
And it was sort of like that, but a little bit more high pitched.
And I couldn't, at first I thought it was like a freak making a weird noise or something.
I'm walking around, and bear in mind this is as I've already got into bed,
and I'm hearing this noise.
So I got out of bed, looked around thinking, I don't know, maybe I've left the fire on or something,
and it's making a strange noise, but no, couldn't find anything.
And it got louder as I got back into bed.
So essentially I could hear it coming from outside.
Now there is like some factories, I don't know, they're a couple of miles away,
and you can see them as I look across the field and stuff.
But I've never heard any noises like that coming from them before.
You can see one of them has got the tall chimneys that the smoke comes out of and that.
But there was nothing coming out of it as I've heard the noise,
so it's not like this machinery going on.
And then, yeah, you know, just trying to look up in the sky.
Could it be a train hooning in the distance?
No.
So that's obviously the way the wind's gone.
No, because it was going on continuously for minutes.
So it's not like just a five second blast of a horn.
It was going on for ages.
So what you're saying is you're in an alien hotspot.
I feel like, yeah, I've got a bit of a hotspot near me.
Yeah, I just couldn't figure it out.
It happened for a couple of days and I've not heard it again since.
So I've not heard it at all this week.
I think it was Tuesday or Wednesday.
Last week was the last I heard of it.
It was just sort of like around the nine o'clock sort of time.
I've gone up to bed.
And yeah, it's just random noise.
Don't get it, you know, because I've got the hospital near me.
I hear the helicopter taking off and landing at that.
So I knew it wasn't the helicopter.
Wasn't the motorway noise because obviously it didn't sound like cars going past or anything.
I ain't got a train track near me.
Close enough for it to have been that.
It was going on long enough though.
Just trying as well, isn't it?
Yeah.
It's always when you unexplained, you just don't know what to say because it's just unexplained.
But yeah, I just couldn't figure it out.
I just need to see a ghost now, mate.
Again.
Well, you know, go back to the earlier episode.
You'll hear us ghost talks.
Get it on camera.
Because no.
No, so yeah, go on.
I was just going to say, because obviously if you haven't listened to the previous ones, the one thing I fucking hate with these ghost shows, they hear a noise and run away from it.
Like, you know, get that money shot.
That's what you're there for.
That's his job.
So what I find strange is when you see a lot of these YouTube videos of people catching it up, like a ghost or whatever at home.
So it's like a fucking camera that's set up in your living room or in your bedroom.
Why have you got the camera set up in general?
But why is that always there?
So maybe if they are having activity, it could be, but it doesn't seem real that it seems.
I get it when it's like, you know, you've got the camera set up outside for your security and stuff.
But why have you got cameras set up in your house?
Well, I just don't get why some of these people are doing this.
Yeah, a lot.
Does this?
I don't know where he is, but he's in the UK.
He's a big man.
He's always sitting at his computer in his living room.
And he's got his daughters roped in it as well.
It's fucking obviously fake.
You'll hear the entity running up and down the stairs.
The one of the clips is like his daughter's just coming from outside.
And she's kicking her shoes off, her legs grabbed and she's screaming, oh, oh, dad.
And he's getting up, oh, what's happening?
What's happening?
Look, he doesn't know what he's always recording for.
And then there was one where he's got scratch marks on him, but you can tell he blatantly just, look, his daughter's hand or whatever that's scratched him.
Because if I was to scratch myself now, the way that those red marks come up, I think it's for fuck's sake.
Because if he was really in a haunted house like that, you're not going to stay.
No, especially with kids.
Yeah, well, the daughter's probably in her mid-20s or whatever.
It's not a proper child.
Yeah, I don't want to sound offensive to anyone, but it's like a proper council house.
And he obviously doesn't work.
He's fucking a fat cunt.
Shores to walk and that, so he's probably been claiming disability for years.
And got the old PC set up in the corner and stuff.
So he's probably just learned how to do a bit of editing and put noises over videos and stuff, and he's just done it that way.
Yeah, getting some views in.
Yeah, and it's just so frustrating.
The amount of them that pop up on TikTok for me, I'm off for fuck's sake.
I prefer the ones where it's more of like a, what was that film, the Blair Witch Project, where it's more of that style, where they're out in the open,
they're checking abandoned buildings or just walking around and then you'll see a face in the window as the pan passes and they're spinning around.
That Blair Witch, when that first came out, that freaked me out.
Not so much watching the film, but I remember, because we were young, we were like 13.
Yeah, somewhere around that.
So where my dad lived around that time, there was the roundabout outside the train track and all that.
I never felt comfortable in that house.
Always felt like, especially at night when I was in bed, because I'd slept in the small bedroom, the box room.
Always felt like I was being watched there.
And I remember not long after seeing that film, the bedroom was facing the back and there was all the trees next to the train track.
And I'm lying there for ages, got that feeling that I'm being watched and stuff.
I remember looking out the window and you could see, remember the stick man sort of bigger on the whatever it left around, the tent and all that.
You could see that shape in the tree line from the way the branches are crossed out.
I lay there for hours, man, just freaked out, trying not to look out the window.
But every time I did, my eyes would focus straight to me. Fucking flat.
I probably had an hour's sleep that night. Fucking horrible.
I remember getting out of bed before everyone else anyway.
The little sleep that I did have just weren't lasting. Not having it no more. Fucking horrible.
God. Yeah. So, yeah, any of you's got any paranormal or unexplained?
Yeah, some mysterious events happen in any aliens or UAPs, UFOs or anything, then let us know.
Email it in, realtalkingpod at gmail.com.
I suppose you could slide in the DMs on the Twitter, we'll be at Ash and JD.
I don't know if it'd be worth leaving it as a comment on the YouTube.
But if you want to just comment on that in general, feel free to.
And so that leads us onto the correspondents now then.
Our lovely listeners.
So Steve, I'll start off with Steve's little question.
He keeps coming with the questions, these random ones. He was the teacher one on that the other week.
So he's asked this week, have you ever been seen naked by someone or someone seen someone naked accidentally?
Obviously we've all been naked around our significant others.
Yeah, I've got a few. When we was in Einapä, where our room was, there was a bunch of girls in the next room.
I don't know if you remember. Yeah.
And then me and one of the other lads were staying outside on the steps.
Because the way you worked is you go up the steps and then I think you had like three apartments.
So one facing you, one to the left, one to the right.
And then one of the girls come back and we was like, where you been?
Obviously nowhere she's been. Obviously five o'clock in the morning she's been a dirty girl.
And when she's knocked the door, two of the girls answered.
One was fully naked and she was weird. And the other one in the background just topless.
But now it's a girl thing. I don't know.
Girls are a bit weird like that.
I remember when I was a kid, my sister would go to the toilet and her best friend would be in the bathroom with her.
So my sister's having a shit or her friend's having a shit and they're both in the bathroom together.
What? Having a shit? Yeah, yeah. Not having a bath.
Just have a bit of vibe in it. It's on your own, isn't it?
I don't want to be in their wild shit.
I don't know why it was a thing for them.
I remember just thinking back then, that's weird what you're doing.
Have you got anything like that, Jack?
So I've had a couple of close calls of someone almost walking in or outside the bedroom while I'm fresh out of the shower or whatever.
The only one really when I've walked in on someone.
So when I used to do the fire alarm installations and did a lot of tests and stuff as well for her.
We did a lot of student accommodations.
And there was the one, I can't remember, it's by near Birmingham Town Centre.
I'd be able to take you there. I don't know what the road name was.
But there's a Chinese road on the corner of the road.
They open up and do breakfast as well. So I remember getting a sandwich and stuff from there.
So when you fry an egg, you can taste it like fried rice. I used to love it, man.
It's beautiful. But anyway, yeah.
So the students would know that it would be time not to do the tests and that.
And the amount of them would go in that cover up the smoke detectors because they'd be smoking in there and you're not allowed to.
So that was always annoying. But yeah, the one room, I'd always knock anyway each individual door.
Because if they're in, then obviously it's plonks, manners.
But most of the time they should have been out at uni and not having lessons.
So knocked on the door, no response.
Fucking as I walked in, this girl's just lying there, still conked out asleep.
The quilt tarp on her and not the tits just hanging to the side.
I'm like, oh shit, sorry. But she didn't wake up as I'd done that.
So I've had to stand there for a couple of minutes still knocking the door.
I've got to go around and press the button and make sure it's all working and not lock any.
So essentially banging on the door at these points.
Yeah, she spawned, you got all dressed and going on. I was like, all right, I'll just need to check your smoke detector.
Yeah, fucking just tipped, plopped out to the side.
I mean, it won't want to roll it over to be fair.
But yeah, that was the only time that I could think of really when I saw that.
Have you ever been caught naked?
No, so there was close encounters where they say, I'm out of the shower and about to get dressed.
And, you know, say my mum's about to call me.
But I was now nothing, nothing really.
Again, I suppose that's because I don't waste time.
If I'm getting changed, I just get changed.
I'm not going to strip down and then just sit on the bed doing nothing naked for ages.
This will be one where in a few days where we're going to be like, oh, that happened.
Yeah, if I remember something.
Because I remember another one, you know, in your bathroom, you have the frosted glass, so you can't really see into it.
This one house didn't have it.
And it's right where you have a shower. And this lad, he just have a shower.
But it was like it weren't a full length one, but it was a bigger window than normal.
And I remember seeing her having a shower, low butt naked.
I've heard quite a few people having the showers, but I've never seen through the window for anything that's going on.
He wasn't frosted, it was like a glass.
Yeah, just the clear glass.
Just obviously on the top floor, just naked.
You would just get a curl in there, but I don't know, maybe she forgot.
I suppose some people don't get in as well.
You know, the exhibitionists and that.
But no, it was, no.
Thanks for your question, though.
Yeah, yeah, Steve, keep them coming, Steve, to be fair.
I do think that, as I said in a few days, we'll be like, oh, shit, that happened.
Yeah, I mean, even as a kid, you know, you go swimming lessons and that, as part of school.
I mean, even back then, I'd be taking my, I'd have the towel wrapped around me and take my little trunks off.
I used to crack me up as a kid, like, why do you have to be trunks, man?
Speedos.
Yeah, speedos.
We had to wear them, you wasn't allowed to wear the shorts.
There was always like a knife, you could have worn that.
Yeah.
I remember when I got the swimming badges for diving and whatever, you'd have to go down to the bottom and get the freaking stuff.
And you'd get the little patches, so you'd get your mum to sew it up.
Fucking hell, man.
God, proper Nancy, that is, innit?
It is when you think about it, yeah.
Yeah, like, you know, under the age of 11, basically, you have to wear a little speedo.
Yeah, it's not right.
God, teachers.
Right, and then we've got a new one from Myles.
Great name.
Yeah.
So, new to the pod, working the way through.
Appreciate it, you know.
I know some of them are hardly said.
Well, yeah, yeah.
Hopefully Myles feels this way that, like, the season we've been through.
You see the growth.
Yeah, or he does, depending on if he's just listening or watching.
Yeah, so working his way through.
Then, so he's asked, so what kind of kinks have you got then you never said?
So, there was one episode, I think it was the episode after I'd said about Stag Do, we was on about kinks and that then as well.
Did we say we had some?
I think we started to try and ask each other, or I don't know if we had an email asking about it.
Also, if he's trying to work his way through, he won't listen to this until, I don't know, X amount of weeks.
I don't know, it depends on how long he's been listening.
Yeah, he's been listening back to back.
Yeah.
But, now, like, I remember, like, the feats, earning to the feats and that.
I mean, I wouldn't say no to getting rims, but you got to get asked first, don't you?
I mean, I'm just a bit too vanilla when it comes to that stuff.
You know, again, like a nice bit of fucking lingerie or whatever, you know, happy days, any, but,
yeah, if the missus turns around and says to me, yeah, I want you to piss all over me, I'd be like, nah.
Yeah, it's the same with that dominatrix thing.
I'd be like, nah.
And then, I don't know what else is there, I mean.
There's all sorts, ain't there?
People that like to sniff things, like, when they're sniffing their armpits and all that, weird.
Would you be a cook?
No.
That was making me laugh, actually.
Like, you're chained up from all your partners getting fucked.
Yeah, just sitting there, just enjoying it.
Some people would absolutely love that.
Nah, I don't get it, man. I don't get it.
I understand being in the open relationships and that, but, like, sitting there and not being involved.
Yeah, I think it's, yeah, it's not being involved, it's degrading, but that, I don't know.
But especially when it's like, because you see the people that do it, where the one, a geezer that's got a much bigger dick than what you've got, just seeing that pleasure in your missus, like, nah, man.
But then again, that's a weird thing that some of these dominatrix, they have the people where they want to be degraded and all that.
Just having to, you know, making them fucking walk around with a dog collar on and fucking the lead and shit.
I just don't get more people along with that.
Obviously not all people, but some people.
You know, some people just really invest in certain stuff, I know.
Like outdoor stuff, you know, expositionists where it's outside or whatever.
See, again, I could do it outside on a nice day if it's not too cold.
Yeah, so I've done that before in the back of a car and all that.
But I wouldn't go to...
That's when you're young though, isn't it?
Yeah, yeah.
You know, you don't...
Yeah.
I mean, I wouldn't go to do the dogging and that.
No.
I mean, I probably would have done years ago if I knew of the results.
I actually know where one is, you know.
I think I did find out where one was.
Yeah, we was... So there's been a few times where I've seen...
I think two times I've seen people have sex in the car.
Right.
Which goes back to what his name James said.
So one time I seen...
No, Miles.
No, James, Steve.
Who asked the question before?
No, Steve asked about Nike, Jim.
Yeah, so obviously, another one.
Obviously, I seen two people fucking in the back of the car once up Nolingham.
But...
I forgot where I'm even going with this now.
Dogging site.
Yeah.
So when I was with two other people, we jumped in his van.
He was like, I want to go somewhere.
And we drove and literally in the middle of the fucking nowhere.
He went, supposed to be dogging here.
So he was going to take us to this doggy thing.
We didn't even know what he was.
And literally, I could see why people would do it there.
You just turn off the main road, two minutes, you're in like...
He went on a grassy area, it was like a gravelly area.
But you just secluded all the way around.
And I was just like, fucking hell.
But I know where one is close by apparently.
I think I drove past a few sites.
Because it's like the middle of the...
Well, not the middle of the north, but it's light.
And you think, why is there a load of cars parked up here near a farmyard?
Why do it outside in the dark?
That must be kinking itself because surely he could organise it to do it indoors.
Because that's a part of the thrill of potentially getting caught in that enic log.
I don't know if that would be a kink.
I suppose it is.
The excitement of the blog.
Yeah, I don't know, man.
There's a generic kink where someone says, yeah, I'm getting feasted or whatever.
And into anything like that.
Just a bit boring on that sort of thing, I suppose.
Vanilla is the word, isn't it?
Let us know if you've got any kinks.
They have, don't they?
I'm assuming my old ones are younger than us anyway.
But they all have it, they're all fucking naughty little bastards.
I don't want to say weirdos because to them it's not...
Well, I suppose some of them do know that it's weird, enic log.
I mean, he's wearing a gimped mask and a dog lead crawling around in the back garden,
licking someone's boots, weird.
Yeah.
Exactly.
It's not the ones that dress up as dogs and all that, as furries or something.
I think we was born, I don't know, 50 years too late or something,
with the way a lot of people are these days.
Yeah, I think it's just more open, isn't it, in terms of who and what and everything in between.
But yeah.
Well, now thank you for your question.
Yeah, cheers.
Keep on listening.
Yeah, hopefully you do.
I'm guessing he has been enjoying it.
Well, I mean, to go for it, mate, it must be enjoyable.
Yeah, yeah.
Yeah, let us know your thoughts.
Well, I'm assuming it's more than one episode.
Because why would you work your way through at least a lot of that?
And also, what episode would you come in at, man?
Just start from the top one you've got available, would you just go for it back and work?
I don't know, because a couple of the first episodes, I've got some decent stuff on.
Because as we were saying earlier, talking about the ghost experiences and stuff,
we did the zombie apocalypse plans and stuff as well.
Yeah, that was a good one.
Yeah, so some of the earlier stuff is alright.
But as we've just evolved on, we just carry on chatting.
Yeah, it's more organic now, isn't it?
Less fun.
Yeah.
More streamlined.
More real.
Real.
Always real, mate.
Monkey, now.
Yeah, so thanks for that, as always.
Do send in any questions.
What other kinks anyone else has got?
Let's say he's got the weirdest one.
Yeah, I suppose we'd have to...
We'll do a little bit of research on these, look.
What, strange kinks?
Yeah, go ahead and let like...
No, so look, I'll do the rest.
What if you start liking some of the strange kinks?
Then I'll be a kinky bastard then, I think.
Right, okay.
What I'll do...
Maybe you should try them.
Oh, this isn't even important to say yes to a lot of the stuff.
Fuck you, now.
Barely get sex, man.
Jesus.
Yeah, so I'll get a list and I'll see if that'd be something you'd find yourself getting into.
Right.
So stay tuned for that one next week, kids.
Now, I don't know if it's saving the best for last but not least, at least anyway.
Fucking James.
I saw this the other day and I thought I fucking knew him.
He's a little Liverpool fan.
Is he really?
Yeah, that's what it says.
He's a Liverpool fan.
I hope he isn't from, I don't know, London or Wales or something.
He lives in Preston, so he's outside of Liverpool, he's a fucking wall.
One of these people that claims to be a Scouser when they're not.
We're all.
Yeah.
So yeah, he's a wall, he's not a Scouser.
But yeah, Liverpool fan and he just says, Fox City United.
Both will get relegated next season.
Now, hopefully Man City do with all this FFP stuff going on.
I found that quite annoying the other day.
Obviously Everton have already had that 10-point deduction this season and then it's on the cards, they'll get another at least six-point reduction because of...
With Nonagon Forest as well.
Yeah, so Forest have come out.
With six points reduction.
It's going to be a minimum of six for a bottle of red.
But if Man City get relegated, they'll just come back up again?
Well, yeah.
Because the U-Ventus did the No-Di-Go relegated, kept the best players, went up again.
They did it, it was when...
I don't know how it would work.
We've got the English leagues, but leagues are being able to pay that much of a wage.
If you down, you've got League One or whatever.
Right, so I think the maximum penalty is the only one who can get relegated to the Championship.
I don't think it's possible to go down past a certain...
I don't know, because you think with Rangers a few years ago, they got kicked out of it completely, didn't they?
They got literally over...
That's a good question.
Completely out of the main football league.
Yeah, they had to start again.
But in that day, he was right there, he went to the bottom of the football tier, the fifth tier, didn't he?
Literally all the way down, and then obviously they'd work the way straight off.
So for me, I'd love to see...
But why not because of money problems though, in terms of the hard knocks that had to do it, start again.
Because essentially they were spending more than what they had, and so they ended up losing everything.
Obviously it's different with Man City because they've got the money.
It'd be interesting to see what happened after that.
I don't think they get relegated.
But it's annoying because how long it's already been going on for, these 115 charges there.
You can try and beat around the bush and say alleged charges, but there wouldn't be 115 potential charges if none of them are going to stick.
So how many of them, how severe are these charges going to be?
Everton had the 10 points for, I think it was around about 30 million extra.
Because it's something like over three years you're allowed to lose 105 million from official profit.
So essentially the owner can put their own money in, and as long as that's not more than 105 million, then it can be declared as loss.
So I think it was 30 million for the 21-22 season, that's why Everton got the first 10 points.
And then it's for the 22-23 season for the current charge and Forrest as well at the same time.
Sorry, I was just going to say, because it's weird how it works in football, the regulations.
Because if you sign a player of five years for 100 million, it's not a 100 million outlay on the book.
No, it's classed as 20 million per year.
So that's why Chelsea have got away with loads at the moment.
So that's going to catch back up to them in a few years.
Well, they are under investigation at the moment, because when Todd Burley took over, he's handed over a load of documents from Roman Abramovich's time.
So again, we know there's got to be some things happening, but he'll be able to fight it to say, look, this was under the old ownership.
You can't... Well, he'll draw and contest it anyway.
Because he works, like if you sell an English player or home ground player, I should say, that's Cairn for your academy, on the books, that's pure profit.
Yeah, it's 100% profit.
Pure profit.
So if United was to sell Marcus Rashford, not that he's worth 60 million, I don't think, but if they sold it at 60, they'd get 60.
Yeah. So it's like, can I have it?
So he was at Chelsea. The brawling, I think for, was it 80 million? If I remember correctly, or supposedly 80 million.
So, and they had him for two or three years. So that would be, I think he had a five year contract. So whatever that is, what would that be?
Anyway, let's just make it easier. If he got signed for 100 million, and he was there for three years, so 20, 40, 60 million, he's cost him on the books.
Now, because Arsenal brought him for like 75, it's classed as profit, because he hasn't entered the last two.
So that's why it takes long, because you have to go through all these tedious regulations, because on their books, it looks like it's 17 million pound profit.
Yeah, yeah.
So it's just a weird concept of lupos. So it'd be interesting. And it seems like he can move numbers about that while, it must have been.
Well, yeah, but that's what have, they've done all these longer contracts, the eight years one and the third ones and that.
But you think, yeah, in a couple of seasons, when they need to start shipping these players up, because they're not performing enough, then they're going to show.
You know, I see most of it with the United players, because being a United fan, you know, Anthony Martial conveniently has just had a hip operation that's needed to have been done for a while.
So he's getting back to fitness. So that means no one will be able to have him during this January transfer window anyway.
And, you know, looking Paul Pogba, the golden child left for free originally, then we paid 90 million to get him from from Juventus.
And then he left free again, which his career went down a pan no, didn't it? Jesus.
You know, always overhoids. I didn't even think he played that well for France.
You know, there was a couple of games where I thought, yeah, here and there, he was decent, but not like the way they kept saying he's world class and I never felt more that.
But yeah, he's he's he's just been done for drug charges and all that as well, and not that he's played much for Juventus.
But yeah, it's all in the players hands these days now, and they're happy to just sit and run down these expensive contracts at the top. Well, sometimes it's better because they get a bigger sign on bonus.
Well, yeah, if you if you sign a player for free, you might want to get more money on your next club. Yeah, I do appreciate where they're coming from.
But with the logs of some with Jesse Lingard doing it, he wanted to be in England's squad and that.
So should you just choose to stay playing for another team or take a wage reduction or whatever?
You mean like he should have went to West Ham rather than yes, and not just the forest for the money.
Well, because he did the loan spot at West Ham. Yeah.
And then I wanted to buy him, but not even forest off him 200 grand a week supposedly and then West Ham was like, we're going to give you 100 or worse.
I know he's saying over the longevity of the contract, he would have probably been better off being at West Ham.
So I think that was a long contract. He was just a season for the forest.
It's just money, isn't it? Just it's just an easy paycheck.
I mean, we're all out to make money, but yeah, when you're making that much money and you know, you can check in your bank and you can think I'm done for the rest of my life.
I'm comfortable. When does he start being about the football again? Yeah.
But with Karen Benzema, because I don't know why, but people keep trying to link him coming over to United for a loan spot.
But he's on at least a million pound a week in Saudi.
Jordan Henderson, he was on around 700 grand a week, but he's just signed for Ajax now.
And apparently he hasn't been paid any of his weekly wage and won't see any of it as well because of whatever the terms of his contract is.
Yeah. So it was basically all from what I can gather is it's like this.
When you go to the Saudi Pro League, you don't pay tax.
But if you leave your contract early, you have to pay the tax for the whole contract.
So if he was on 700 grand a week, I don't know what their tax right is.
And he'd done the three years and wouldn't have to pay any money in tax.
Now, if he would have stayed there two years, he would have paid the three years worth of tax on those two years when he left.
But because he hasn't been paid, it's like, I don't know how that would work.
I mean, does he end up paying all with them? It just depends on the tax right then, doesn't it?
Because I'm sure he would have to pay them some of that. I don't know.
If it was him, I would just bear that out for three years.
But so he's reasoning because he wants to get back in England, but he's worried he's wanting to leave there.
The boy did in the first place. Yeah, because he was never going to get in there in the Saudi Pro League.
But if that was me, that's safe gate.
Look, whispering sweet nothings in his ear. Look, I don't think the Saudi League's look up to standard.
So I need to see you in more competitive games to warrant me putting you in the team.
Because Jordan Hansen didn't even live in Saudi Arabia. He was living in Bahrain, wasn't he?
I don't know. Yeah. So where that city is, I don't even know.
Etihad? Al Qaeda? I don't know.
It's only half an hour from Bahrain. They're all housing.
Yeah. No, they fucking are. Al-Khalifa.
It's half an hour from Bahrain. And obviously there, the law is a bit more relaxed in terms of alcohol and women and all that stuff.
Yeah. Yeah. So we lived in Bahrain, drove half an hour to training.
Bahrain, lived in Bahrain. But I would fucking live there for three years.
Yeah, same with the brand of weed. Fucking ridiculous, innit? You just pull up with it.
But I know Benzema, he's been turned off for training and stuff because it just can't be arsed.
But again, you've done three months out there. That's 12 million or whatever at least.
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Fuck it then. I'm coming there.
He must have it in the contract where if he gets on loan or sold, he doesn't have to pay a tax or something.
These little things must have been written in where he doesn't want to say, I'm leaving, because he's just fucking not turning up.
Yeah. It's shit, innit? I mean, he might have won it.
But if someone offered me, I'd fucking do it. Yeah, you'd do it. I'd fucking, I would.
Yeah. If someone fucking turned around and says to me, yeah, I'll pay you £3,000 away for a fucking sign.
Do it, yeah. Yeah. As long as I'm not getting feasted. Or sucking dick.
At least a big dick. You don't want to get fucking choked out on a fucking schlong every week, would you?
I suppose that's a kink. Not getting choked out on a big dick. That's it. You never know.
Right. Thanks for that email anyway. She knows James, innit?
We are, well, what Kim went on about. Yeah, no, thanks for email.
Yeah. Yeah. And as I always appreciate it.
You know, links are all in the descriptions. Log it, share it, subscribe if you're new, follow, depending on what platform you're all on and that.
And yeah, keep it real. See you next week. Bye.