Hi everyone and welcome to another episode of the Real Talking Podcast with your host
Ash in JD. So it's been a bit of a quiet week news wise, you know, who cares about Pokemon's
going on in the world really. It's always something to me. Yeah and there's too much
political stuff that we can't really do. Yeah I was literally going to say there's no
right answer I think with this one. Well I think the main thing that I will bring up
of what's gone on this week is the uproar on the new Marks and Spencers Christmas advert.
Oh yeah I've seen this with the Christmas party hats. Yeah but there's more to it than
that because there's literally everyone that's been offended from all aspects of life have
made their voice be heard about this now. So it starts off with changing Christmas to this
Christmas. What? So it's thismas instead of Christmas they're taking the Christ out of
Christmas and they've changed it to this. So Christmas has now got pronouns. Yeah it's
weird because it's not called a Christmas sale anymore it's called a winter sale. They've
already. And what should be a winter sale what can't it just be a holiday sale because
it is it's the holidays it's not just the Christmas is it you know there's everyone
else's holidays. So it's literally just one thing after another isn't it. Yeah. It's like
you just can't get a fucking break. Oh no well so again so it's I'll briefly break down
yeah but in general for anyone that hasn't seen it. So yeah it starts off with thismas
instead of Christmas there's the one chap no it's all celebrities I don't know who they
are to be honest but yeah there's the chap he's holding the little Christmas angel or
mother Mary whatever it is in his one hand but then in his other he's got the empty cardboard
of a bog roll, toilet roll and so he puts that onto the top of the Christmas tree and
then shakes his head at the traditional little fairy whatever it is. Which yeah I'll get
onto that in a minute. Then there's the lady that's she's decorating a gingerbread house
then she gets the flamethrower and starts burning the marshmallows which is pointless
as well and then there's whatever little table Christmas scene and the lady another lady
ends up getting the Christmas hats and throws them into the tree cuts or the hedge trimmer
thing so it all shoots up in the air looks like glitter falling back to the floor. I
think it ends with one of them little dickhead alf's alf on the shelf thing flowing through
got one of them twatting and then another lady picks it up and she just has a little
shaky grip. Yeah sorry I was gonna say I've only seen the Christmas hat bit picture with
the Christmas hat and he seemed it looked like he was in the fire pit or whatever he
was. No so it's when these tree surgeons come around and they take a tree down they'll
throw the branches into one of these machines that just treads all the branches and that.
What she's even got one of those out in Christmas I don't know. Literally I've seen it. Sorry
this month. I've seen it and I was just like no I don't care like I scrawled up but I didn't
know that I've had that much bullshit in. Look just stop trying to make a statement like
literally just stop. Yeah. It's too much too often. They've tried to be too woke with it
that's what the problem is. Who cares. If I was seeing something that says this month
on it I'm never ever picking it up. Fucking bastards just fucking keep just picking it
up. Fucking hell. So that's the initial problem as soon as it comes up with this month instead
of Christmas that's what people have started off with initially but there's no need for
it you know everyone knows it's Christmas doesn't matter what religion you are looking
for. Whether you believe in a god or Santa or fucking Easter bunny or whatever doesn't
matter. Everyone knows it's Christmas it's the holiday season so just leave it as it
is or don't even just don't even change the word just this holiday season just whatever
no need to fucking mess with it. What they have then I don't know the fella's name but
him trying to look the judging shaking his head at the traditional top of the tree ornaments
being a star an angel whatever you know just shaking his head as if to say look this is
disgusting while we've even got it in my hands. Well there's just no need for it. Fuck man.
Now fair enough I've seen other people over the years and on the TV and that where they'll
put when the kids have made one at school. Yeah. You put that on the top and a lot of
people don't know. It doesn't mean it's just an ornament on the tree doesn't mean anything
just an ornament. I think we've got a fire like a fire of Christmas and Santa Claus that
sits on ours. Yeah I don't know if you're that bothered about what goes on the top of
your tree what have you got to tree in the first place. What are these people I mean
some people just beg you for the money and that I would never do anything like this just
hasn't happened there's not many things you believe in but that Christmas feel you still
get it fair enough you don't like pearly but that feeling you get it you know. Yeah you
know for me like Christmas hasn't been the same since being an adult really because it
is easy to the kids and obviously we haven't got any kids so it's not been the same. No.
But having a dog at least as well because you're getting a lot of presents for the dogs.
I want to but obviously when you have the Christmas tree or the ornaments are. Again
yeah because I haven't really decorated the house for a good few years. Yeah. Because
well you know before and it was the whole pub downstairs when I was living upstairs
all of that was dead date so I didn't need to do anything tomorrow and then when I've
been living in the house I've got a little tree that I made myself a little wooden one
but you know it's not as sad I've got no kids so I don't need to put presents everywhere
I don't need to decorate you know it's just sort I want to see I'll just walk into home
bargains or whatever or as that we've got it's very odd. I have to admit I like my house
looking like a bit of a gratter. I've got all the little ornaments out the lido. Yeah
I mean I don't know I just think nostalgia I think that nostalgia feel that you can't
replicate this you know. Yeah I think because of me I have that many different well I'd
say that many different but obviously mum's house decorations there going to dad's decorations
it was too mixed in a broken childhood essentially you know before was parents going around to
meet dads and there was no you know all the brothers and sisters there and it was just
too busy so apart from when I had my initial alone time on the Christmas morning opening
my own presents that was the main thing I enjoyed about it. No I think you should do
this yeah get your own tree mate your own ornaments. We'll see how that one goes. No
I think you should don't get a real tree well some people might be saying I get a real tree
but. No because even when I had a little tree before it was just a little two foot tall
the fibroctic one yeah yeah it was that one literally just a plastic black tree yeah I
mean yeah it's just since I've been coming through it I haven't done any of the Christmas
decorations but. Yeah going back to it I mean literally it's just nonsense yeah a nonsense
out there for nonsense. As I say if you're bothered about what's going on on top of your
tree don't have a tree yeah you shouldn't be celebrating it whatsoever no you are. So
there's that and then when the lady starts burning the marshmallows on the gingerbread
ice that's symbolising burning traditions on her blog no fair enough if she was just
roasting the marshmallows sound which is literally there she starts burning the Christmas cards
and everything to say we're burning away yeah this this holiday we're burning away the traditions.
So I'm just trying to find the cast to it just oh you got the girl from um. I think
said lasso. Sophie Anispekstamay the uh. Oh. Again the chap. Oh that the chap. Yeah yeah
again I don't know his name. I mean you can tell. Yeah. So yeah burning away the Christmas
traditions um and then with the the destruction of the Christmas hats it's uh all these uh
protesters because of the everything that's going on with Iran and all that moments they're
saying that it's the same colours as the flag so it's disrespectful to the flag and everything
that's going on but you know yourself you have a Christmas pop up your body you get
a little paper hats yeah and you generally have green green white blue gold depending
on how much you spend on your bloody Christmas crackers so it's it's not like someone sat
there and thought I know I'm gonna get these specific colours because I don't know what's
going on and I want to prove a point but no one's more you know what the irony is they're
trying to make a statement and be politically correct just to come back at them so that's
a good thing but it's still it's just nonsense on top of nonsense it's just fucking ridiculous
because they've done too politically correct there's no straight family and it's represented
in the advert it's all from different diversities and nationalities and whatever so you've got
if you want to be a bit extreme with the wording you've got the EDLs the true Brits Brexit
mean Brexit people moaning that well I'm gone where's the the normal white family that are
happily married with a couple of kids sitting there so literally anyone that wants to have their
opinion their little cry about it has moaned and so I'm surprised the advert wasn't taken
straight down off the TV it's just when you think about stuff like this for me it's just how far
is he going to go yeah I mean you think this year compared to last year in terms of like all this
stuff this year has been mad to be fair obviously before the stop oil protests and fucking everything
obviously you know the dramas in Ukraine and then Iran and all that now as well just give us a break
any yeah well just you know just look three months just give us a break bring down prices to shoot
yeah just give us a break on our just stop throwing shit in my face just let me relax
yeah because especially we've got these wars that are going on why are people so fucking upset about
an advert not why are people I can't believe there's that many people watching normal tv to
see this happen to have a fucking moan about it anywhere especially these younger ones that are
fucking moaning about it why aren't you fucking sitting there watching youtube and fucking netflix
and how have you seen this advert to fucking be upset about it fucking morons yeah it's it's a
hard one especially with this conflict or war if you want to call it because obviously there's that
religious aspect to you don't really want to get too involved in have I'll be honest I don't know
enough about everything that is going on to give an opinion about it you know it's it's almost like
modern day hit the shit really because they don't like each other they want it that way but
the others want it this way look fucking you know I'm just surprised that we haven't given more I
say quickly the government hasn't just posted off more money they don't want to give for Ukraine
because I feel like that's what they all want to do all these other countries want to have a war
just so they can get the aid money coming in from us I just yeah I mean but again that's a
fucking bang for someone else yeah I was just gonna start talking about it but no that's what I have
like I was just gonna lead to just sizing the foot now to the side that there's no yeah we'll leave
that we'll leave that yeah let's just say we don't know yeah that's not yeah we're surprised we're
still on the actually we still got a show before we've been canceled four weeks six weeks in
now it was like week three really well yeah well at least we can openly say the first two episodes
that are no longer unless you already had it and not on but it's not because of stuff that I said
or anything it's just because it just the one yeah there was pilot episodes if you will yeah
more so I really want that yeah I mean but yeah this stuff I mean I know a lot of people
don't probably feel the same just just feels one thing after another like it is you know it's
gonna be hard this Christmas last Christmas without before the energy prices going up but again
because the bills are gonna be higher this year even though apparently the energy bills are lower
but it's the standing charges have gone up so it's more or less the same yeah it's it's
fucking ridiculous you know you know obviously it doesn't bother me I'd happily sit there with no
heating on because I'll just put a blanket on or put the fucking jumper on or whatever and I don't
want that house too hot because of the dog was being an ascomal moose they prefer a couple of
audits um so it doesn't bother me and again because the missus will have the heating on and
she'll still be pajamas dressing gown one or two blankets on as well and it's not the house I had
it last week well I've got home well from leaving here last week I've got home the heating's on it's
roasted but I'll fucking have me shower and that I mean shorts and t-shirts sitting there sweating
and she's there all layered up while the heating's on still you know you just buy some money the way
I obviously but her argument is that she pays the gas and electric so it's her money which uh you
can't argue with that what to do not do moan about it at least anyway fucking ginger beach they were
yeah I think it's just it's just a fucking advert at the end of the day it's and it's
literally the first so it's the first I think so as there's got an advert I well what I'm saying
is there's still room for plenty of bullshit adverts to come out well at least we'll hope John
John will just bring them at least they'll look at what's going on with these and they'll probably
change in a couple of things in their adverts you know but I think was it like a little penguin
or something with theirs last year or a year before um you can't beat the cola ones any the
classic ones where the screen goes obviously because you don't fit on your voice they have to
go in a little bit is it coming oh that is again I don't want to we need this quick
well it literally is as soon as Halloween's done everyone's fucking out like that that's it
yeah I'm surprised well again I don't listen to the radio while I'm at work anymore I bet
there's already Christmas sounds fine it would be nice to have a boy Christmas though mate
now I mean just nothing not just nightclub toilets I mean outside you want snow
snow yeah not Columbia marching powder like we've got a bit of skins but well yeah no it'd be
a bit
not where you're linking yeah well uh yeah nah well we've never really had a white Christmas
to have it no we had one where it had a blanket of snow probably about I want to say about
right by there about 20 hours ago yeah literally where we could properly enjoy no no no you can
have snowboard flights or where I grew up um boards of grain bottom bones in football ground
I remember a bit of snow when I was a kid at that point and yeah from there nothing uh I mean again
since I've lived in Coventry but you know you think I've had with me old Alaska and then this one
that's about 10 years worth so I've had two proper snow dogs never had but once I've had good snow
and that was with Maddie with the last one because I remember that walking around and literally
everyone coming out with the same comments looking oh you need a sled so that dog can pull you on
it yeah yeah you know you're not the first one that's just says that walking up
that's the only reason why I want snow just so the dog can enjoy you know there's I remember last
year there was a little bit or it might have been this year still then a little bit of snow for two
hours barely covered the floor and I let him out in the garden he's fucking jumping up trying to
bite you in the air and all that no worries now I suppose just because we're we're in the city
centers essentially yeah there's too much uh the lot of pollution just like the lampposts you know
stops all the uh the spread of snow really um yeah we just don't get enough of it if we were to leave
you more of the countryside yeah more Scotland I know and more north but yeah but even when we did
have a bit of a flutter I don't know if it was last year or the year before heading out toward
uh Dad's Way not Derbyshire and that they had a good bit of snow um but yeah just not enough for
us really that's one thing I'm always envious of America about yeah you know when you look
suburban America it looks perfect no matter like what again spring summer fall with the
you see the Christmas films as well forces it uh obviously it's exaggerated you see like the
white Christmas in New York and all that not home alone but a Rockefeller tree yeah it's like
fucking oh have you seen have you seen they've got that tree out now you know when you just said the
day of Halloween yeah yeah so I've seen a video of him getting the tree out of there fucking on
but as I said when we was living in the pub we'd have the the tree up that already had the
Christmas decorations on then there'd be the uh like the black sheeting and looking spider webs
and whatever put on so after the Halloween party once all the customers were out that was he
fucking probably packing up the DJ stuff and then the staff would be taking the Halloween decorations
off the tree and then it's already ready yeah I remember fucking helping out putting all the
Christmas decorations up and that it's just not it needs to just be the last couple of weeks of
December you know it's 12 days of Christmas sort of raising all sorts of well you know I don't want
to be a scrooge to everyone yeah as long as you're out there but there's someone around the corner
for me they're back the fucking they never took the lights down basically and I just some of the
mornings I'll be walking with the dog and the lights will be just on well the actual Christmas
lights outside yeah so it's the the multicoloured ones hanging from the uh what the yeah the
guttering bit outside the house it's like every now and again they'll just pull them on so
fucking but even like summertime walking around four o'clock in the morning with the dog and there
are not the weird yeah the weirdest experience it is weird don't you see like that because I remember
uh walking around strafford upon ivan in one of the hottest days ever and I don't know if they still
got it but I had a Christmas storm so like you walk outside it's short t-shirt it's hot you go in
it it's all Christmasy it didn't you know it didn't feel right was it debinums that used to
have in Birmingham town sense there was literally I don't know if it was like a whole floor or
fucking like a section of the shop there was Christmas all year round oh I'm not too sure
about that there was definitely somewhere it sounds like a debinums thing if I remember rightly
debinums was like yeah yeah because they've got like a john dubby's corner and all that
as well I'm sure there was a section which was all year around just Christmas you think must be
soul-destroying listening to the Christmas songs every day of the fucking year wow I couldn't do
it I remember being on a job a couple years ago as well and this plumber I mean he was a rock
spice cadet anyway but you know shouldn't be on the tools but uh he's sitting there and he's like
don't you think it's strange well he's proper mad that every year he listened to the same Christmas
songs every day over Christmas and I just looked at him because he was being serious I'm not but
don't you think it's mad that we listen to the same songs every day on the same radio station
and he just couldn't grasp it you know yeah but every day on this radio station it's a repeat
between like the Arctic Monkeys Ed Sheeran songs yeah the same 10 songs yeah it's not over and over
I'm not so don't you think that's more mad more strange than for six weeks of the year listening
to fucking Rykeri and the Pogues and that but he just couldn't get it I say he was a weird character
anyway did you remember back in the day there was a university you could call him up who was in
America and you could call him up and ask him to sing a song and people would sing a song yeah
it was the students weren't it yeah yeah and uh so people would ask them to do like British Christmas songs
yeah and they'd have no idea they just got like winged yeah yeah yeah I remember we used to do it
where uh look uh I'd come to yours on the Christmas like the morning or whatever and we'd just start
ringing people and just sing 50 carols and that that was fun it was funny but like an hour yeah
yeah and then we'd go off and have a couple of beers turn uh turn the corduroy day up so they
did not I think we did with a couple of them anyway because we did it like three years in a row
fucking sad but to be fair because we were still not fresh out of school so we was more into
Christmas at that point right I was still getting oh but you know what I mean because we were still
getting more childish peeps which which I have to laugh about that you know it's not hard to get us
presents is it yeah just looking anything I know what you're gonna ask oh I don't know
it's not hard though is it because you can look man I'd be happy fucking if the missus got me a
sky electrics or something for Christmas because I'll just sit there walking just every now and
again just bang it out on the floor and fucking start playing with you the sky electrics though
yeah no I was gonna say what what was your favorite Christmas present you've ever received
I thought you were gonna say what for Christmas no no just a blowjob I'll go after that mate um
I'd say it was uh getting off and I had a load of Power Rangers toys because it was um I had the
original Megazord and all that uh and then I remember the one in particular it was when uh
I can't remember the name of the Megazord but it was it was the next one he had the big green
got orb on the chest because he weren't locked Samuron and he weren't the ninja ones he was still
the original uh money morph and Power Rangers but he was not the second or the third Megazord
and uh he was he was quality anyway because fucking look he'd have got the remote control and
essentially wheels on its feet and you'd be able to move forward but he was all on a lead and that
though still yeah it weren't advanced enough to be fucking wireless remote control just that and just
the old action figures you know getting my old Power Rangers toys and just fucking
it's not even proper plays she's got fucking smashed her heads against each other and that
so I'm holding me sister's life fucking love to get out on that yeah she's got she's got a few
things up there and she's got some Pokemon cards as well potentially no they were in the garage
I was lucky Swirls Barker chucked them all when he entered the garage on Ironman fucking crazy
because I don't know the fucking shoulders I mean it probably wouldn't have been worth
as much as it could be because I never had them in plastic cases but still would have been nice
just to have the fucking collection at least fucking lowers all the original Pokemon though
original from the new one 51 well the new the new set but what the new is set that's out is
Pokemon one five month but it's just the original ones so I started doing them 2019 again but then
the hype caught off pretty if you went from paying like 30 pounds like versus you
Sabrina's Gangar like obviously not great it's like fucking 90 pounds
yeah to be fair though if I had the fucking money I mean it's just the artwork from there yeah yeah
yeah if I had enough money I would be buying all shit like that I remember doing a job years ago
and uh obviously this chap had money because the display cabinets there were several glass
ones and there's a lot of different shells and stuff there was all sorts on a um there's a
teenage ninja turtles uh like star wars look all in separate bits and that dog was in the boxes as
well some some were in boxes and some of them just had his from his own childhood just put
in these glass cabinets and stuff looking I just remember looking at all I'm thinking that's
probably what you know I'm talking about 15 years ago or so I remember thinking oh that's probably
a lot 20 grand worth of fucking toys there just on their own fucking I don't know what they'd be
worth now oh sorry you know um the original pokemon cards if it was the first issue ones you know
wizard of the coast ones you know the original ones where you had charizard or venus or the old
artwork if you had one of them sealed in good condition that's worth a hundred grand there
mentally it's just my it honestly just go back to a 10 year old you just buy one put it in a lunch
box surround people right put in lunch box store away for 20 years yeah
it was different back then it was different now because like how people had the fucking
willpower to not just tear open the boxes of the toys and just what we start playing about
well I wouldn't say I think our generation is the last generation where you're going to get
nostalgia because maybe kids don't have anything like that to go back to a phone tablet games on
you know yeah yeah well that's what it did uh what was the digital artwork stuff what was that
cool nft yeah yeah it is it's just all fucking you know fortnite skins and whatever that's what I'm
saying so like a kid now that's 10 playing fortnite playing whatever games for 10 year old players
now watches whatever the watch now you know you didn't have the action figures to back it
games to back it so when he's like fun he's like used to watch that there's nothing else to go to
that's where silo we've seen actually needs ninjatoes power rangers you've got games
fucking action figures yeah a lot costumes you know I suppose the main one that
a lot of people still get really now he's just the legos isn't it yeah they're expensive
I know yeah fucking I know and also I get it you felt it then he can't touch it
because he's fucking it yeah well again back to another job on uh when I was on the couch for
you boys uh there's a lot of the accounts ones you have to put trunking around you can't
chase into the walls whatever but uh the one job in particular uh in the I don't know if it was his
bedroom now but uh hanging from the ceiling there was not the fucking the death star with any important
all that I remember saying to the other lad that was with us be fucking careful because that's all
worth a lot of money and he spun around fucking with a bit of trunking in his fucking hand
swatted the fucking falcon I'm like whoa like it didn't fall but you know it's just hanging on
string and he's fucking up and I remember the one room in the house was here as well fucking
there's a lot so people used to have a thing called bookshelves so you for all the younger
listeners you get a do you remember bookheads bookheads so yeah it was essentially a bookshelf
but it was all these dvds and I remember glancing along and it literally there was no porn there
it was thousands of dvds not one porn I couldn't believe it absolutely shocking got the right mind
so I started away from that it was it was before it was easily accessible on the phones and yeah
that's still in it so yeah you mean do you remember you had to try for it horrible horrible times
the fucking magazine imagine them doing that now imagine going to the shop and just casually just
buying the magazine so I used to so obviously uh the son and the daddy star would have page break
but then there was the uh the daddy sports as well which literally was all just tits and that and so
on a product I used to buy one of those for our problem all fucking as soon as I get in the van
he'd have a quick fucking look okay pretending to flick the nipples on this fucking tits and
out oh look at that one oh he used to make his product he fucking loved it and then like come
10 o'clock we'd stop and have breakfast and that and he'd be fucking straight into it just looking
at it you never read I mean that paper had no story yeah there's nothing to read from daddy's
form we never attempted to read any of the articles anyway just be fucking just gazing at the
fucking the woman's tits and fucking I suppose you never even looked at the faces well yeah he
used to make his broad eyes that was uh one of the the perks of really because he it would mean that
you're definitely having a break so you can fucking chill for half an hour whatever because you'd be
looking at it no I used to get myself the nuts and zoom magazines from time to time
but uh yeah none of that these days literally is just on the phones any so I'm saying so like
kids now I don't know what they're gonna refer back to besides old phones like you remember
it's right because it will all just be on the internet to just pull that up in a fucking
instance any well I'm throwing my sisters the other day and I was saying to my mom
uh so my niece and nephew were upstairs they're both just fucking they were on the phones or
playing the playstation whatever so well would she not go out with her friends or anything and
then will he not go out with his mates and go to the park and play football or anything
my mom was saying no they're not allowed out but none of the other kids go out and do anything
either it's just all sitting on the fucking playstations and fucking uh well on the tiktok and
that and so it's mental because we we'd be out all the time and I remember when like I put one my
parents just say about those we are at the time and now time to change I used to think it was time
absolute bollocks but it again we don't have most of the time yeah you don't see kids playing
and to be fair I can't blame at the moment with the way I think is it just I mean paedophiles
were around when we were kids I just mean just kids with knives and everything just yeah yeah
it just seems more violent but I don't know if that's because you're growing up so you're not
lying to me but yeah there's no fair factor with the kids these that you know they're not scared of
not they talk to you like you're on a microphone or they give it yeah yeah yeah they're not afraid
of getting a slap from just a random adult or anything you know I remember you know if I have
all went into someone's garden you'd be nervous to knock on the door and ask for it you'd have to ask
for it yeah if it's right back yeah you know fucking it was yeah you wouldn't want to do anything
and if if you was doing anything naughty and the place was a child past you're all fucking running
away yeah whereas now they'll stand there and they'll go after the place officers and you know
I've seen a couple of videos where they've broke into the place car and they're getting all the
gear out and stuff it's like you wouldn't even dream of doing that when we was kids and it was
more so the factors well if one of the the adults that you you know your balls gone in the garden
and they would to fucking bring up or if they knew your mum and dad like it's that fear factor
shit when I get home I'm gonna get a fucking idea there's none of that now obviously you can't even
fucking tell your kids off that I don't fucking smack them I remember one time and I don't know why
I think I might mention it before we was on this uh
I won't say the factory but behind that score there's a long road at one point it comes to
a dead end you know the field and you cross over the field and you come out at the bottom of another
area I don't know say where it is just uh so yeah and I remember I think I'm not me and my mate
was walking I'm just sorry I had this thing I was dashed out the car didn't realise the man was in
the car and not what a boy would a boy would anyway so he's chased especially for you because
that was completely out of character then but I literally just choked on the van I threw it
didn't think he was in the car but I did aim for the car I'm fucking through it he was in the car
he ragged it down his road and me and my mate sprinted but then comes to a dead end where you
obviously can't drive into the field yeah so he span his car run I just jumped in a bush
literally just completely in a bush like first push just jumped right into it anyway he was like
I know you're fucking live you're fucking bricks losing his head as you do it as you wouldn't yeah
anyway by 10 minutes I would um I said to Adam yeah I said to my mate I said uh
I said uh I'll come around in a minute we'll have a chat whatever so I went around
about half an hour and I went knocked his door you've got to come round that's the
gaze is knocked on my door he wants to speak to us and he was like no I was like yeah yeah
and he went along with it like to the top he's like obviously glad he was asked to walk around
the corner so I am really that yeah mate but he that that did happen though yeah yeah where
if they knew who you was and who your parents are they'd go around and then yeah you know I wasn't
a naughty child at all and I'd get a fucking holiday for no reason but again that was different
times uh you know that fucking from a rough Irish family and that and grew up having beatings for no
reasons or whatever and so it was just so built in look I'm not happy I'm putting it out onto the
kids then and it was just a part of the times in general never did me any harm you know I still
flinch from time to time but it was a bit major it was just yeah it's just kind of growing up
wasn't it yeah you know God forbid if I actually was fucking all right not me younger brother uh
little fucker always was getting into things fucking and the amount of times love he's broken
fucking his legs his arms and all sorts of that from fucking around on motorbikes what moped and
stuff and he'd hurt himself so bad and still be a rod well I remember we break his arm not crying
but he cried because dad told him off yeah that that's what I'm talking about the fear back that
look he didn't care about what he was getting up to and whatever but as soon as that would find out
it's like our shit off it's that anticipation and it's the anxiety yeah yeah you're gonna get
that yeah because the one time in particular uh I think it was a bodgy spanner and literally you
could see fucking he'd scratched all the skin off his fucking ribs and that lock and fucking his arms
broken everything so you can see all on flesh blood fucking dripping and that and uh it was an
fa cup game I don't know it might have been the final but I remember it was mainly against Portsmouth
and I'm sitting there I could see him come into the living room like cautiously he said weren't
crying just fucking scared um God dad I've hurt myself and God dad's telling to fucking shut up
football was on you had to be quiet when the football was on couldn't say I couldn't even
celebrate you know I couldn't not know fucking have a lot of people do shouting at the tv what
are you fucking nothing I was a kid I weren't swearing at the tv or fucking a basketball or
shoot well there's nothing to celebrate bringing in my new family that's one of the
but anyway yeah he's like no but dad's I've hurt myself and so as dad's looked at me he's
fucking sending his arm broken all that he's got all twatted him around the fucking heads
that'll help me but he's pissed off he's had to take him to the fucking hospital while the games
are all just sat there and said oh cool because I knew if all would have said so we've all got to
slap as well and I've done nothing I was sitting there watching the game fucking so yeah that that
was you wouldn't have talked good stuff just a bit in the same like room well I used to get a smack
if the rest of them because like chores they'd go out on the fucking morning to you know carboats
or whatever uh well not carboats because we'd go with them on carboats we'd say to the garden
center yeah so I'd be there from the age of like eight looking after the younger brothers and
sisters and if the house wasn't tidy so we'd all be told like yeah you've got to do the fucking
vacuuming fucking cleaning the fish tank and whatever and if the jobs weren't done I'd get
the smack so I ended up having to do most of the fucking housework and fucking if it weren't done
right like he'd walk along like rubbed the fucking dust on the fucking you know the fireplace whatever
to detail it that is me I remember
half uh so when we was like 12 or 13 yeah church road near the grave he was in that fucking house
yeah man and uh I remember with that I'm looking they just weren't listening and I remember
thinking hang on I'm fucking old enough now I don't need to be here and put up with this shit
so I literally I assisted the brother who's two years younger than me I was like fuck you and your
shit I'm going and so I got on my bike but the curves were fucking tall I saw that ice
and I didn't lift the fucking front tire up enough did I and I fucking smashed the tire up and that
fucking tall book and so that's more quarter-weighted fucking the wood of half now I fucking walked back
with me broken bike and that and uh well an hour or so like when he's got home he's uh
realize I'm not there I've left the restroom to it uh and he's come round and mom actually stood up
to him and told him to fuck off long you know I'm not a babysitter no I didn't see him for a couple
weeks after that yeah that was that was just a part of the times you know we we do live in different
times these days that's it uh fuck you know all these because of a fucking christmas hat that's
um that's what we do I know just the real talk you know what actually fucking uh I do want to
actually shout out to fucking Mark Goldbridge I'm convinced he's fucking listening to us
heads up give us a fucking show what why do you think that because a fucking fair few times now
he's giving like fucking well as he's talking about he keeps dropping in real talk real talking
at look about scenarios all fucking awesome like you know it's even that moment but he keeps saying
real talk and he never used to come out with any of that but I don't know maybe that's you just wish
for thinking if Mark if you are listening get him on I'll watch you both mind about my new
night welcome on the podcast don't have to just talk about my united but uh yeah gold bridge
stage football is his podcast um no more yeah if you want me on the united stand up you know
the bad angry ginger on there so oh come on as well thank you uh and so yeah if um any of yous
have got any emails or anything that yous want to send to us any questions that yous have got
uh or just a fucking sad other than that yous know what it is it will be all in the descriptions
again on the youtubes for everyone that does watch youtube it's bouncing around on the screen
from time to time but yeah email us realtalkingpod at gmail.com uh I need to be fair I'm never on the
twitter or I know we haven't had any messages on twitter but if you feel like slugging the
dms on it on x it's at ash and jd so we have got a couple emails right it's what you've looked
a lot forward to no it is in the morning um so carl's dropped us a another questionnaire uh
all right lads if someone broke into your house while you were having a shit would you wipe first
or get straight up no no it so for me if i'm chilling and someone comes in the house i'm
uh i am also if they're in my presence they're going to shoot throwing at them imagine that
i think that'd be a tactical no because no no one's gonna in the toilet yeah yeah what do you
think about it that's tactical because they're gonna be like i've got shirmey yeah they'll be
freaking out because of that thing yeah i've got feces on my face i'm gonna have pink on that that's
it yeah but now stride up my stride i think it depends on what kind of shit you've had though
no no no because let's just say you've got a bit of a dodgy stomach and it's just
fucking it's liquid i can go all over the floor rather than someone take your shit
but yeah like if it's fucking if i don't know it's gonna be fucking dripping down my leg
as i fucking get up i'd have to have just that quick tactical no no you'd have to do my get some
tissue clog your door yeah if it's still coming out yeah yeah you just plug it good to go look
otherwise if it was a fucking a dirty one where look it's all over my arse and that i'd at least
it's not our phone but we all know it happens and so i'd at least just grab the roll and work
the whole roll just to fucking get an excess up not like physically fucking do the normal technique
of two sheets off folding wide fold wide yeah you know i wouldn't go through that yeah i'm fucking
i'm not gonna fully clean in if it's a fucking if it's a solid log the way it should be then uh
yeah yeah straight up fucking down also what a brilliant strange question at the same time
because you can tell he's thought about it it was like well he's probably i bet he was having a
hell of a shit yeah he's probably heard a noise speaking who's that if someone was to come out what would i do yeah
but also it's if you're having a piss would you just because that being more awkward one
because you know how it is sometimes to stop the flow so that'd be pretty more of an awkward one
well i mean sometimes the fucking the dog will not uh because i'll shut the door wherever i'm
having a piece of a shit mouth so sometimes they'll fucking essentially head put the door
and open it up so when that happens man he's a fucking dog's a dog's fucking i'll get it but
you need you you fold me into those sometimes oh yeah and he'll just fucking nudge the door
lord i'm sure he jumps up and tries to fucking hit the handle but he hits it with that much force
the whole door just slams open um so yeah when i've when he's done that sometimes and i'm having a
piss i can't stop it because again weird dog he'll try and fucking come and sniff the stream
and so move so i'll have to stop mid flow fucking push him away or fuck up your little dickhead
because i just think is that be more of a better one because if say you're having a piss and
someone then comes up you can just piss and i'm like get away yeah i mean well because my bathroom's
upstairs downstairs i'm so what are coming up yeah i'd either high keep the high ground mate
but i'd because i'd hear them coming in i'd fucking i'd have a bit more time to be able to fucking
stop and then run down or whatever that is a a brilliant strange question yeah thank you for
that you should have told us what message back what would you do that situation you wiping and
what what made you ask the question was you he's gonna he must have been out there yeah if he
weren't that's a bit strange if he wasn't having a shit that's i don't want to say weird because
you know just you wouldn't be walking thinking about having a shit and so on but it's i imagine
it was he's just he's sitting there and then i don't know fucking his mom and dad come in or
something or obviously i don't know much about carl he might be living on his own but say someone's
come into the house and he's thought oh shit who's that yeah and then yeah it's probably popped in his head
yeah but now thank you yeah nice one carl um who's this karsik oh karsik karsik oh so are we doing a
back check is this revelants to the other emails we found previous the subject is new updates okay
so do you want to give everyone the rundown yeah so for all the new listeners out there karsik
long time fan plenty of emails in she loves it um she's not at the best of luck with men uh
was shagging a puppet before as well
uh so with this new fella anyway uh he was being a bit overwhelming yeah um he was not too much
texting too much too soon too lovey-dovey after fucking day one essentially so she took it out
of voice told him to just take a step back calm it down really in a little bit she ain't going
nowhere yeah and uh then after that chat he went a bit funny yeah we're still speaking um so this
is a new update then uh so after all of your fabulous advice i can't i can't that's what she's
fucked i can't say that's so after all your fabulous advice i've had to end another relationship
now just to clarify ash is not laughing at you he's just laughing at the situation it's just like
we've always doing a good thing mate she's well so uh this time though wasn't because of all the
previous stuff all right yeah yeah yeah so not to do with the boxing not to do with the texting or
anything i mean our voice was just spot always is always real talk real advice uh so we had a couple
more dates since the last email and on the last one went back to his yard no so back to his house
then he was after some sexy times i'm guessing well uh i should have known as soon as i walked
in that i wasn't in for a good time the flat stunk mess everywhere right so for fucking
men lads fucking well women as well anyone that's fucking going out and dating out if
you're intending to bring someone back have a fucking told you yeah no just yeah just just
it doesn't have to be fucking immaculate but just well so yeah it's the flats a mess
fucking so it stinks open a fucking with it yeah put a fucking in the air fresheners whatever
uh mess everywhere dirty dishes and all that god these guys are so funny yeah
i'm just only jeff fucking leaves on his own here as well or with a fucking roommate yeah but you know
if you like all used to do you living on my own and that it was essentially one plate or one bowl
that i'll be using wash it fucking let it dry up put it away okay it's not hard so yeah if you're
fucking if you're going out on a date and that just make sure it's order just in case you never know
and make sure yourself as a person's told you as well if you're thinking i'm going to get something
on make sure you groomed you're all nice and clean and that just imagine you're going through that
you're going to get some because you didn't do the dishes yeah yeah fucking oh that's annoying that
it's annoying fucking uh so dirty dishes and all that i thought it was best to go straight to the
bedroom so she weren't messing around and she wanted you know what she wanted yeah uh but that
was even worse dirty clothes and sheets all over the place again you've got to have clean bedding
i mean the dirty clothes just throw the corner got them washing or whatever yeah or locked in
you know if it's a floor where you've got you you wash clothes folded and just put onto the floor
then yeah fucking well just dirty clothes and i've thrown everywhere you can't have that fucking it's
lazy it's ignorant fucking you shouldn't be fucking happy bringing someone back if it's like that you
know i mean that's why you have at least the fucking living room tidy so you can say oh sit
here for a minute i'll grab us a drink i mean you're fucking you'd run and sort your bedroom out
quickly or something yeah i suppose the bed minimum you would just get the shelf your bed just
keep it all in the corner and do your bed yeah it's fucking that's annoying that is um the
dirt sheets all over the place if i wasn't drunk then i would have left what my buddy wanted released
so yeah she she knew what she wanted yeah so i let him have a go that's what she's got there
worst experience of my life couldn't find my clip with fingers or tongue got closer to my belly but
belly but i'm guessing he was fucking steaming as well you know if she knows what she's talking
to she's talking to the top shaggy or any idea so i feel like he should be fucking asking for this
i think he needs yeah uh looking big smile so we had no chance of a blow job
seriously i'm saying you clean your house clean your fucking self also didn't you have no like
insight in the previous times meaning that he's this money guy well because i know fucking one of
our old friends in particular would always fucking have loads of aftershave and fucking
go through all the cannellinks every day because the one fucking shower okay
you do know i'm one of them anyway um we ain't seen him for a long time uh but yeah fucking
well it's just just you're going out on a date now just fucking clean everything
fucking annoying that there's no prep work in that i've got a prayer yeah uh give him a handy for
like 30 seconds and he dribbled all over me so he's come fucking straddling yeah i will say this to
him they all can't be with us you know but you know it's like no no whatever totally through his
chat place real story yeah so you know your christmas apple in canada you open them up oh
oh chocolate i'll have that you open one of them chocolates far down
you know that's what i'm it's the all can't be winners and i mean you win some you lose some
that was shit that was no that was that was a great do you want me to edit this out and you
know this day no all i'm saying is the all can't be winners so what you're saying is
if you open that little window and the chocolate's not in there you're disappointed yeah but that's
doesn't stop you opening again the next day but what i'm saying is i can't i can't back him on
anything else besides a privilege well that's the person that i'm on about anyway was the one with
a kettle challenge fucking so the kettle challenge was fucking he like one of our mates went to make
the fucking brew pop a tea and the other lad went upstairs and by the time the kettle had boiled he
was back down he'd already fucking done the day hence it's called the kettle challenge to anyone
so he sounds like she had a really bad time so just a little bit more um so give him a handy
for like 30 seconds and he drew them all over me i couldn't hold him laughing anymore and he told
me to leave so i said i'd put too much pressure on him after the talk so because of fucking uh
fucking top advice then uh shame i can't find a top shagga i'm taking her my married man
there'll be another one out there looking uh can't wait for your next bit of advice right well she is
that a question or no no that's okay so to summarize it i've had a few drinks she's ended up
going to is the house is a mess the one into the bedroom the house is the bedrooms a mess clothes
everywhere smelly knobs smelly knob sunny bed sheets 30 seconds go jay there it's just all on
him like you know yeah did she put too much pressure no no no no i agree no no no look so
is it just an excuse that he just come too quick but he's got his yeah wow wow wow you know he's
not really that he's got his fucking little satisfaction so he ain't gonna really be that
bothered um but obviously none of it's fucking i think to be fair you were drunk you probably
shouldn't have been as drunk when you're about to go back for a first time but if you're drunk
surely you should have been a bit more than 30 seconds he should have been more fucking
you obviously weren't drunk enough them was it and as you said he's he got his he got his let's see
at least someone got theirs yeah i mean that's a positive thing yeah um but you
even that's not hard excuse the pun on jeff sense well you know even if you don't know where the
click is if you go in fucking muffed all of you you just fucking you're gonna hit it yeah you
told me it's got to fucking go fucking in the wrong place at least once you know but yeah uh so yeah
she knows herself a bit anyway she's saying one side for there with the fucking mess and
fucking all that so you you brought it on yourself a little bit she wanted it yeah you was hoping you
could fucking push past all that and have a good time but obviously no look you were meant to be
fucking yeah i think you don't i think yeah yeah i think you probably i mean i don't know if he
finished it really boy so i can get out and whatever but we'll say that kirsty yeah yeah yeah yeah uh
the end of the day now fucking he's put the pressure on himself like thinking that our advice
is a lot too much pressure on that's fucking that's his own thing but as i reckon he's just
using the excuse he doesn't pop the camera well maybe he's just an up or a thorn you know
there was fernando atero as a liverport there was fernando atero as a chowse
you know he couldn't stop scoring when chelsea couldn't score i don't know if these lads
probably scoring too much stuff
yeah fucking now just just crack on there's no again don't rush into anything go on and say see
before there's plenty more out there um you know we can't give the advice on fucking tinder or
anything but you know i did actually see um i think it was a tiktok uh it was of women taking
advice from a lot of parents to try and find uh like a fella out doing normal things so there
was one where she's gone to the pub uh like a sports bar and she's waiting to get fucking the
attention of a man and all struggle for conversation and then after the game whatever
okay whatever sporting thing was on the tv she's left and she's not well that was a dead end uh
all the men that were there were even as a part of a group watching the sports let's just say
it's football watching the football and then the others were there with the misses so no one even
looked at me but there's a there's fucking uh flea market down the road so i'm gonna go there
and she thought yeah just for the couple so i had no chance of meeting anyone there
um went somewhere else no chance of meeting anyone there was she american i think that one was yeah
so do you find it strange to me like either just seem scoped people inside a lot to look here can
they can i get your number you know yeah well i mean we cornered things long no i mean not the
same i've never seen anyone playing in world cup in like a coffee shop i'm and oh yeah it was
always not the problem yeah i don't know how yeah after some courage got put into them but yeah yeah
uh and then there was another one where she's gone to like a classy bar she's all dressed up
and not sitting there with a glass of wine and then it skips to afterwards and she's like yeah
not one person would even look at me let alone come over and try and fucking say hello uh and so
the the point of all this it's it's like how all the chivalry is dead you know no one's no men are
confident to go up to women and try and start a conversation because they're scared to get rejected
and i think it's the other side of it is because it's so easy to do it all on the the text in the
fucking tinders or whatever i think you're getting all of that orcness and that out on the fucking on
your mobile essentially you know you haven't got to go through that fucking awkward striking up a
conversation out just fucking on the street or whatever it's it's all it's supposed to be
easy to let the person go when you have them physically yeah yeah yeah um yeah i think that's
what it is now uh yeah fucking i mean even with my missus it was because she worked beyond the bar
and fucking you know you've been to my advances that's the best thing she ever did um before yeah
it was never really fucking just out walking about that i ever fucking just stopped oh yeah
you're all bad do you want to go get a bottle to ice or anything um so yeah i can't really give
advice on that side of what would you find so yeah well just i suppose she's gonna have to start
betting on really ain't she you know uh while they're at home and you're texting and that just
fucking just say oh just send us a selfie or to try and gauge if there's mess in the background
or anything fucking um or facetime i suppose that's a fucking good way anyway if they're
tunneling around the house you can see if the house is a mess or if you tell them this story
they probably would clean the room then and probably try not to tell them this story of
oh no no what she needs to do is any any future potential suitors just say yeah lad listen to
these two yeah whatever episode fucking listen to me that's it plug us in anyway and she'll uh
probably partially scare them off because they'll know that she's sending in messages or emails and
that so which is frankly yeah so it'll weed out the the wrong ends then because they're not
gonna be happy about let's just get the cream of the crop there yeah and hopefully you get the cream
in the roll crop then not just over your hand
and
that's the voice just get them to listen to the real talking podcast fucking get the
realest of all the voices uh well yeah appreciate that hopefully fucking you'll get there one day
um but again don't rush it you know she was only young weren't you i can't remember her age now but
you know you're young enough you don't need to rush it man fucking help just
just get on living any just be out there it's a story now you've got a story to tell yeah yeah
and you've told him right and then i know we've gone on for a bit but we have got another one
from mikey jones like drones oh so uh all right that's so with this new program on channel four
called banged up actually have you seen any of that just literally just saying like a trial at
world four just i know that that fucking ricky from a standards is any and i don't know who else
to be fair but uh yeah it's not i've seen a lot of clips of the party in the south and all that
not any um not because the prison guard was sort of one of the women prison guards on the tiktok
video she was there smoking with them having the bar it's all like those nicks oh yeah really uh
prison guards they're all like actors in there i know is it also i think the prisoners have reformed
or something right well yeah the woman that was the prison officer that was in the video she did
a fucking she was getting backlash on social media or whatever so she was like look you know
it's not fucking real you know well they're doing it as a part of the show so just just watching
for a sense time at high school um well so yeah uh it's it's put a lot of stuff on edge luckily for
you oh don't give a shit because i've not done anything wrong so this leads me to the story of
a night where there was a bit of a birthday party so you know it's just mad like prison shouldn't
be able to fucking have a fucking birthday party or shit but can you imagine it though you fucking
you locked up hello yeah you know you get a little cake and shit yeah terrible um
so i was new to to this particular prison so i didn't really know the inmates turned out this
man was the top dog and it showed lights on lights gates open free room on the floor and music
blasting you'd be pissed off when you're fucking out uh what i was shocked with though was the participation
of the staff with the party so this one is one of them ones then uh heavy drinking doing drugs
smoking and sniffing and fornicating so i wonder if one of the prison guards was giving the old
rich around finger blasts looking back up um oh i didn't see anything in person but the stories
of female staff doing all sorts flooded the wings immediately the next day shame their husbands
didn't know what happened fuck you know what i tell you what you see some stuff that you obviously
well we know he's seeing some stuff yeah yeah yeah but i mean you know so so that's mad then
so obviously as i says that female uh lock guard was just saying it's all fake it's friends time
and you know it's not real and then mark your boys fucking come out saying i know it does
yeah i know i'm feeling clarence uh played my night mark yeah no yeah it's it's it's it's just
ridiculous you shouldn't be allowed to fucking have a fucking party you know you're in there for a
reason fucking you've done wrong and not the staff doing drugs everything as well yeah and fucking
like i'm getting the prisoners and that as well ball the merit fucking i don't know
outrage imagine that like you miss his fucking he's a prison guard
no like taking them condoms into work for that that's it to you isn't it
oh she couldn't look she'd lose her obviously her job and then obviously her marriage or
definitely the marriage but obviously if it's fucking looks you would think he would just have
you wouldn't keep it quiet quiet yeah the inmates isn't no no but what i'm saying is so if if your
partner did that to you and obviously you're going for divorce obviously so the husband
yeah so then obviously he would obviously take it for whatever you want yeah yeah i mean oh yeah
um yeah we've all found out one of the fucking ballwalks bosses have done anything can i have
fucking taken all to the top of fucking the company i think just anything goes in prison
or if you can like if where there's a will there's a way to yeah i don't know how to get all the
prison guards on so to do that in terms of like lights on free run music drugs like i don't know
what is free for yeah he said he was like the top dog so obviously must have a bit of money that
he's fucking yeah it must have sunk over for them to let them but for the pretty guys it's like
are they all doing fucking favors with each other and that as well they're all like oh easy fucking
you know look oh yeah let us have this party and fucking i can get a new fucking car for you or
whatever yeah yeah yeah but now fucking anyway after that being annoying you know appreciate
my yeah thank you um we love your little stories yeah and thank you for everyone that's emailed
yeah and uh again use all know sketch fucking you know log subscribe um download and that as
well and sharing any you know sharing doesn't do any harm it takes two seconds just fucking
finger on your facebook or whatever the fuck it is i don't know um or at least just fucking say
to your mates and that well yeah listen to these details chat shit for an hour fucking yeah um
i think we'll leave it at that now yeah and uh yeah we shall see you as fucking next week then
yeah nice goodbye