Hi everyone and welcome back to the Real Talking Podcast with your host Ash from JLD.
So this week I've been listening to the podcast, well I've been listening to the podcast.
I heard an interesting topic, they were asking the question, imagine that ELOCK or some other rich
people have managed to colonise Mars and basically what six people would they take with them to help build a new society.
So I'd give that a little twist though, you can all sit there like everyone else and say who would want there.
But what I want to know is who would want there. So let's change the scenario.
It's not that big of a one size fits all, if you could have dinner with certain people who want to have dinner with you,
it's like who wouldn't want to have dinner with you.
Yeah, which I think that's a good shot actually, we'll bring that one on to next week.
So yeah, let's just imagine that Earth's about to collapse completely, you know, Putin's launching a nuke finally
and we've got these space ships that are about to go off the Mars or wherever, but we've been a bit of a
trap what the other week was the airports, systems gone booked and there's the double booked pre-seats, three people, for some reason Elon's turned around and says to you,
Ash, you need to decide what three people can't want, who are you saying isn't allowed to come on this spaceship with us.
The context will do it as famous people, people that everyone knows, we've got several people.
Oh, we're doing my three, then your three or we're doing one each.
Yeah, we'll do one each.
So I think we might have the same. So if we have the same, I would choose someone else.
We can do it.
Well, we'll see how many we get.
So obviously, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
So my next one would be.
Now, what would you remember the reason why?
We was out at the main queue.
So I think that's a little interesting fact, which I didn't know at the time until we happened is you only hear the cheering.
So when Berman comes to the X factor and the crowd isn't made for the noise.
So yeah, obviously, it's all fake.
Yes.
It's essentially a load of bullshit because the worse people that Wi'Lah on TV,
on TV people have listened to them outside one of the floors before they even get to the TV
stage and obviously it's for story and everything that's why they're so arrogant when they're coming
so I think they're doing well because they're seeing people that can't see not making to the
TV rounds where these people can't see them making it and as I said the cheering they're saying to
I can't keep cheering but that make a noise yeah and literally have to throw your hands in your hair
and just not move your mouth and it's quite cheering-worthy and then when you see you can't
unsee so now when I see canola like on x-factor I just know they're not really cheering and you can
see people are going yeah just doing that but opening the mouth while they're cheering
yeah I know that's going to be quite controversial to be because he's a people's favourite you know
fucking everyone even we're not at that conversation more than one
he's like it's a snake's heart he's a piece of shit also I'm gonna go I mean when that
leaves this morning and go Alison Hanlon yeah I'm like why is she on TV I know she was on
like a fucking big variety of people I don't think she even wanted no no and
well fair play she's managed to yeah she's done a career yeah so when I see her on tv she's
interviewing the box and that's getting me strange question
yeah he better answer podcast tonight well definitely you know not not many people watch tv
so
we do not need his shit opinions on a new planet yeah and also he says stuff
so he's I still that doesn't make sense to be right above yeah he just cracks me up someone
that was less than an average fucking player has managed to bullshit his way onto the fucking
media and he thinks he can create songs everyone else is fucking tactics and
fucking dollar play whatever you know descending up the man's city the other week casamero less of a fucking thing he grabbed his car out and he thought he should be arrested he should be sent down for fucking years and then it happens for fucking I think he's robbery he's literally put his hand around his throat oh now you know that was just a misjudgment he should have just been like fuck off you fucking prick absolutely top short
yeah
so the extra one since we both had sam smith there so more replacement of that jami oliver
the other? instead of call me like unbelievable identifiesestyle
All he could look at the cameras was your fucking best mate, he's an old superman on the planet.
But no, he's a god shot, fucking other people, fucking, uh,
didn't know if he'd worked in a restaurant, then he'd caught up in tears and fucking this and that.
That's the reason why fucking a lot of his restaurants have shut down.
Because his staff stopped working for him, they literally just walked out.
And yeah, you know, he's just a fucking TV smart, he's a prick in the world.
Yeah, I don't know what.
So, sorry, I've got two in mind with the both sisters, so I'm gonna go to Kardashian.
Because, I don't know what she does.
I mean, if anyone watches people from Kardashian, she doesn't even direct herself.
So, it's sort of, her profile is something that probably, well, it's the same shit every season.
We've seen him go out for food, thinker about something that's not an issue to which person he's part of.
Yeah, because how did they even have arguments?
One of them was, I can't make my personal assistant do my fucking manam passion week,
or Paris fashion week.
And so she was like, no, she needs to be a, oh, a starless orange, a starless, no, I'm gonna be in a bit of a,
fuck you now, aye.
So yeah, I'm gonna go, the best thing about Kim Kardashian is probably her.
Yeah, big old guy, yeah.
Yeah, we've got the best news about the fucking G-Sport.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
He's definitely there for the understandings of that guy, yeah.
Plus, you know, he's always getting to repeat his old banders.
Yeah, boy, he's really bad at the old banders.
Yeah, it's just that child will really worry.
I think I've done that, yeah, but I don't cry, I think.
I've only listened to it a couple of times.
You need to listen to it a few times to, for them.
Yeah, yeah.
I did that with the fumes, overall, he's a bit out there, a bit trained, you know what I mean?
Once you've played it four or five times, you know.
Get the rhythm on the G-Sport.
So, we've got S6 now then, we've got Sam Smith.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
So, one for us, so Sam Smith.
Sam Smith, three.
I don't know, Eric.
Three.
Alison Hammond.
Three.
Dami Alaba.
Three.
Kim Kardashian, who does she know?
I think I've heard, oh, I think a pair of like, easy English people.
Oh, yeah.
You just forgot many of that, didn't you?
Well, that's it, yeah.
That's it.
Anyway, I think it's great, you should look forward to going out and playing with them.
Well, he didn't even want to go, fucking, that's what I'm going on about.
I would say, they're even an average player.
Wouldn't be in a Premier League team these days.
Yeah, he thinks he's fucking...
But he said he'd be worth £50 million or something like that.
Yeah, it was some shoot-off, I thought, no, he wouldn't.
He'd be fucking lucky to be playing with fucking Exxon.
He was fucking the one guy footballer.
Even I wouldn't have enough.
You'd probably catch it.
No, just oxygen thing.
You've got one of that, like, before you.
I think that would be a factor of the scripture, of the play.
And also, obviously, he's a combined guy.
He's a combined guy.
He's got the most fucking...
Yeah.
The most police.
He's got a lot of charisma about him.
He's got the most...
As well, when Dreyf really speaks, he sounds like a good guy.
He's got that charisma about him.
You know, as well, Dreyf, in fact, Gabby, is just, yeah, as you said, average...
For that, no, no.
Yeah, for that, yeah.
He's funded, he's been working for the whole career.
Well, because of what I've heard from several people,
the main one being Mark Goldbridge,
because he actually does his own show on Talksport,
he says about how, when they've got the headphones on,
they've got producers in the background saying,
this will get us fucking clicks and views and fucking debates going on.
So I don't even think it's Gabby who barks the shit that comes out of his mouth.
It's the producers, Tanny.
But still, if he was as good as he fucking thinks he is,
he wouldn't be saying that bullshit.
No.
Of course, if he don't mean it, he should be saying it.
Yeah, yeah.
And then he has to back what he said down there.
So I think Lee's just him, Lord.
I think that's just an interesting guy.
Yeah.
He's just irrelevant.
That's all he is.
That Jamie Harris just does that.
He'd be fucking shit.
You know, soon as...
I've never been a fucking fan of his critics.
The way he used to fucking...
It's like about four or five more of the time.
Even when he never used to be in the team.
Yeah, and he'd...
No, just calling him lazy and this and that.
But fucking...
No, fair enough.
I'm fact...
You know, I have to laugh.
He had about 30 minutes the other week and then he was injured again.
Yeah, for the first five.
You know.
But when he was in the actual fucking team, he only had to play for France.
That was when he got his performances in.
As an United player, I can say, the second half against Man City,
when he pulled his back and scored two goals, he ended up winning three-two.
It's the only game that comes to mind, actually, when he actually played well.
You know, he overrated, yes.
Had the ability, yes.
Did he use it?
Lack of motivation.
You can tell that about a lot of players these days.
They get all the money and they're all...
But at least you can fucking laugh at him.
He's a bit...
It's all key choice to be ruthless like Ward King.
Ward King has a point.
And, you know, Ward King's always calm and calm.
He's aggressive with it, you know, if he's missing out.
But he's not slagging off a player for the wrong reasons.
Ward King will say someone's crap for X, Y and Z.
Not just say the easy thing is that the laser...
That's the fucking reason why they're played bad today.
And that's it.
Not just, oh, there you go.
Yeah, you didn't play at a good standard even, you prick.
I remember when Cronoak, as soon as it hit the man's game,
and he had that woman, I can't remember.
Also wasn't Laurie Woods.
Oh, what is it now?
She's just one man off the corner.
And she chaps... Oh, you know what?
A lot of them.
We'll have to put it some slide.
That could be another topic.
Worst footballers have ever made their potential.
So that's one of them.
Anyway...
Thank you for that one.
So going from, obviously, people who take over the world
to a show that's on Netflix, Encounters.
Yes.
So it was a long day of work for me yesterday.
And when I got back, I put Netflix on.
And sorry, so Encounters, I only got it on my Netflix this week.
Which, at the moment, when we're recording,
it's the 30th of September.
So it's been on, I think it was literally yesterday,
or it's been on all week.
So it's been half an hour of it, and then that goes in.
And then the boys were talking to what's going on,
doing their head nods and that, and then that goes in.
So, yeah, from what I've seen,
we're really wild.
And it's the...
Interview with the, what were, school children
and the adults now.
Are you back in the 70s?
Yeah, I was back in the 70s.
Obviously, that's the first episode.
I wanted to speak about the first episode.
Yeah.
Because it's the Flora Hyde and Triangle.
And it got me thinking.
You know, it got me thinking, because I thought,
would you rather see an alien or an alien-spider spacecraft
or a ghost and have video footage?
Or would you rather capture knowing you're going to get
screwed tomorrow and be alive?
So what would you like to see?
You know, we talked about seeing a ghost, and we...
Yeah, we've gone over aliens several times.
You sure, we've mentioned a few times, just one.
Is that a fact?
Every month there's something going on in the dining room.
I think...
Because the hardest thing with avro is pre-meeting.
Yeah, so that's what I'm saying.
You're going to get real noise, you're going to get people saying it's not...
Yeah, oh, that's a really good question.
I think...
It depends on the interaction, because
if it was an alien, that's visibly...
Say they're in the garden.
So let's just say the sound scenario, you've got your camera far,
you're in a field, you're on a seat, an alien just walks past.
Well, I mean, it's not like in the corner it pops out,
visibly walks across or flows or whatever.
So, not the scene, was it the poor kind or something?
It was a banging film as well.
And it walks past.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
So something like that, or the capture of ghosts, visibly, exactly all of that.
To the point where you've got a perfect footage.
Whatever one, it's the perfect footage.
Well, I think because the way that they can deconstruct all the video evidence these days,
as I've seen with ghost ones, where they'll go to all the infrareds,
and all the black and white, they've got different textures.
So essentially, as long as they can do that with recording,
of not being able to prove that it's not something that's been layered over.
Yeah, I think with video, obviously, because it's a destroyed video
and you haven't added any white.
Yeah, as long as there's no editing that's done to it,
and they can prove that nothing's been edited.
It's not that photographic of course being on the Spaceman Beyond the Go.
Remember that one?
I can't remember the name of the...
It's called something called Spaceman Beyond the Go.
It's a little girl and her dad is somewhere in the countryside.
He takes three snaps of his daughter, Mike, and her dad.
But in the second one, it's like a little spaceman behind her.
I don't know if that's it.
So, which, because if you watch episode one, you'll know what I'm on about.
Dias says that the men in it will like silver spacesuits,
which, when I was watching, Colin resembles...
Is that towards the end then?
Yeah, episode one, yeah, sorry.
So, we call it resembles, what they were talking about, the picture.
Resembles the image in the picture.
So, yeah, so in this picture, that takes three snaps.
On the second one, and everyone was saying it's fake,
so it was a Dao camera, so the guy went to Dao,
and Dao said, no, I'm not going to do this.
So, we'll have to...
If you could find it, send it to me,
because you know exactly what it is,
then on the YouTube side of the video, I'll put it in.
And then if there's a direct website link,
I'll put that on the description as well.
So, anyway, so that's what they're saying that the spaceman looked like,
but that was a big talk.
So, I'll put it in.
One last two.
Yeah, so, going back to the concept.
So, I think I go for ghosts, because with an alien,
assuming that it's humanoid, the physical shape of the alien,
it's easier to have someone in a costume to be able to walk across
than it is for a ghost, because at least,
again, assuming that the ghost is going to be semi-transparent,
and then almost floats across,
it would be harder to fake that,
so it would be more realistic.
Whereas, as I say, you see these videos of the Sasquatch bigfoot,
so obviously, it's easier to say,
that's just the tall front, with the fucking hair and costume,
walking through the woods.
Again, with the life-less monster,
well, that's just a life that's in the water,
and then walking extra on deck.
So, it's easier to fake a physical, stunning object
moving across the screen for a ghost,
assuming that it's going to be floating,
you can see through it, and certainly breathe,
and yet it would be harder to fake.
Yeah, I know what you're saying, yeah,
with the fucking hair and costumes,
I'd rather see that than pull myself.
I'd love both, really.
Now, I can't remember what episode it is now,
but if you go back, Graham,
we have done the ghost episode,
we've had several of my experiences.
Also, with the ghost, it's got me thinking.
It's just an alien sort of book,
having a triangle, I don't know,
sometime, it's in Wales.
That's not too far from us.
And we've got a huge Welsh following.
Yeah.
It'd be interesting to see if anyone
who's had any encounters with aliens
or spacecraft or whatever, email in.
And if you do live in the Broadhaven area,
and these aliens are still being seen,
that'd be great.
I'm sorry, in 1977 this happened,
so we're all back.
Yeah, I've only...
The first half would be that I did actually watch.
I can't wait to fucking watch the rest of it.
It'll probably be tomorrow that I'll carry on watching
some of the manager in a week.
But yeah, I love the programme, it's all that.
Yeah, it gets you thinking, doesn't it?
Yeah, because it's still documentary,
but yeah, it's a real long...
It's a Solway...
Yeah, Solway-first basement.
So obviously, if you watched episode number one,
just Google that, and then what they describe it
is basically what's in this picture,
and that's from 1964.
What does that say it's from?
So, 23rd May 1964,
fireman, photographer and local historian, Jim Tenter,
he was the one who took the photograph.
So yeah, we've seen a picture of a young lad,
I'll put these on YouTube,
and I'll put the link of this in the description as well.
We've seen a picture of a young man standing in a field,
what he brings an arc on, he's fair-played.
Probably hasn't done that in the 80s.
And then he looks long.
When you see a bear or something,
you see people with the little balloon,
or like a birthday shop, that would be easy.
And you can get a little Spider-Man balloon that's inflated.
To me, it looks like it's a little Spaceman balloon,
that's just sort of on a stick that's just popped up beyond the head.
But you can see it's quite far back.
So if you have watched episode number one,
obviously you'll know what I'm talking about when I describe the aliens
wearing a silver suit with bean, I think they said 7.9 feet tall.
Just watch it.
And then obviously, I remember this picture obviously,
when I was watching it, it's on that.
I've seen that before.
Yeah, but then I remember this picture.
The one bit I saw, I don't know the lad's name,
but her mum and dad bought this old manor house or something,
into a hotel, and there was two men that knocked on the door,
the one not.
They didn't see a car approach the venue,
or see a walk of the pack, it was basically a door knock.
And what looked like old density queens standing at the door,
both in suits, with the hair, sweat patch,
she said we've got almost, look, hated our hair.
And they spoke in unison to the mother,
saying they're going to come back with whatever it was.
And that reminded me of another video, there's been several of them,
but there's one in particular, where you see these two men in suits.
And it's referenced in the Men in Black.
Yes, it's referenced in the Men in Black.
So there was a bald, the manager of the hotel, in one of the videos,
another one, the brassic and the pack manager.
But again, identical bald in the suits,
but it's worked as he's got the body collecting body.
So that reminded me of that.
I can't make it watch the wrestling to be honest,
it's the kind of thing that I do in the election.
It's the same talker programme, but people join on, essentially,
so not the Jack of Garments one and all that,
but Noel Stork, I love all their programmes.
It's a new one.
It's getting thinking, isn't it?
So you see what happens, especially when it's the one
where you've got the real old interviews,
the old encounters one has,
that speak to the actual people who have had the experiences.
I did see this morning, there's a new one coming out on BBC
in a couple of weeks, I believe, there.
It's Steve Coogan.
So he's done loads of programmes over the years anyway.
He plays Jimmy Savile, and it's going to be the Savile story.
I don't know what it's going to be called.
I only just saw...
It's going to be on the BBC.
It's a bit hard, isn't it?
Yeah, it's their favourite one, isn't it?
I mean, I won't be watching it on the BBC
because we don't support the TV artists.
None of us have been there long since.
I wouldn't, to be fair, but the recent plays have been
what the BBC said.
The Session, not the...
All of that, not very likely.
But yeah, I think that's going to be an interesting one to watch.
I've been to the trailer, I don't know much about it,
but all I saw was a...
... whatever one of those looking page-by-page is saying...
You've made a lot of the laptop art, have you not?
... saying how there's been backlash after the trailer
because people aren't happy about the story of Savile being promoted, essentially.
But that's just like saying the story about Jack of Dharma
and the other ones being promoted.
If that hadn't been someone else who'd just do that anyway.
Yeah, it's not celebrating the launch of the movie.
It seems like it's going to be...
Look at the Bapky series, isn't it?
Yeah, so divided the recent Jack of Dharma series
whilst we've had that last American Horror Story and...
The X-Men one's not that far from being released, is it?
Yeah, X-Men one.
It seems like it's going to be that style of programme.
So that's what I will want to watch it, I think, from that.
Yeah, it's looking like a good couple of months worth of TV,
to be fair.
Not that it's TV, but TV Plus, we've got a launch of season two.
It's a nice holiday for us.
So in the UK it's Friday 6th October, but America is in a bit of a rush on the days.
Yeah, I can't wait to watch that, to be honest as well.
Yeah.
We're having enough time for it.
We're going to do it.
Not enough hours in a day, or days in a week.
We've got to do what we need to do.
Yeah.
Any of the Welsh following, if you are near...
Fawrhaven, yeah.
Yeah, if you're near there...
Or you've got a family, or you've heard anything since that instance.
Basically, if you've heard anything still going on there.
Yeah, do email us in at realtalkingpod at gmail.com or exos, ash and jd.
Or comment it on the YouTube channel, realtalkingpodcast.
So that leads us onto...
More emails.
Yeah, so we've got first email to get.
We've got...
Oh, we've got a question for us.
So, if you had a magic button that gave you 10 grand every time you pressed it,
would a random person go to the site on how many people you gave?
I wouldn't press it a few times, but now that...
Well, I mean, you've got quite a good odds there, right?
7 million people in the world.
It's not a big A1 random.
It's a fair amount, well, in the context.
Potentially someone that you know, a family member or whatever that could go.
It's a 1 in 7 video chance.
Yeah, I wouldn't keep pressing it, actually.
I would like, I suppose, 1 in 10 new car.
You know what I'm saying?
Yeah, yeah.
Yeah, yeah, quick double tap on that.
I think you're doing at least 10 times a year right now.
Yeah, I'd say so.
You would stop working every month.
Yeah, yeah.
You're looking at least 10 times a year.
Actually, yeah.
The rest of you large.
Yeah, so, yeah, at least 300 people.
Yeah, or at least.
Yeah.
You know what, you've got another day as well.
Yeah.
Maybe a bit more, let's say about 400 times, mate.
Is that 400 grand then, that's about right.
Yeah.
Probably 24 times a year, maybe.
Yeah.
I mean, it's one of them, until you started pressing the button, you started living that long.
Yeah.
You and that one, I'm one of them.
Yeah.
At the minimum, you're going to need to tap it once a month.
Yeah.
10 times a year, something like that.
I mean, again, depending on how you're going to go to Vegas then as well, isn't it?
Yeah.
Then you wouldn't need to gamble because you're just going to make some messes.
You do it for the fucking fun though, don't you, Abloh?
Fuck you.
Yeah.
Tap the button, I'm ready.
Fuck you.
Yeah.
And you're not bothered, are you?
You do it, live you for the fucking life, aren't you?
I mean, I don't know if something.
Oh, if you could change the button to someone specific that you wanted to fucking just pop.
Then yeah.
Fuck you.
I have a list of people I can understand.
Yeah.
Well, you know, you drive them down the road, someone pieces you up, like, fuck you up, whatever.
You're on the bottom of a fucking line.
Yeah.
Fuck you.
Yeah, so a lot of people.
Yeah.
Yeah, starting off at least 10 a year.
I think as you said, you just get used to that lifestyle.
Yeah.
It just depends.
I mean, again, it's not.
Well, if you started doing it at a shit load, would someone be able to fucking figure out
this is what's going on?
No, no.
It's just like, no, it's magic going on.
No one's figuring it out.
Again.
No one can figure it out.
Yeah.
But then again, when you just tuck it in 20 times, right away, get somebody going, yeah.
Rather than once every time.
So when you just like.
I think I would tuck it a few times.
Get somebody.
Stop working.
Yeah.
So initially, what you're saying is you're going to bang it out 20 times.
Yeah.
Hey, I'll give you more, bitch.
20 times, that's 200 grand.
Yeah, 200 grand.
So you're going to pack more, bitch.
You're going to fucking do it so you're not going to have to work 12 months.
Yeah, I wouldn't work.
I don't know if I'd pack more, but I'm probably not that.
Yeah, I don't want to bother people.
No, no, I might have to.
Yeah, but you.
You know what?
You know what I'll do?
100 times.
Yeah, because you've got better logs of fucking all the people in the prisons and fucking
terrorists and.
Bad people.
Yeah, Sam Smith's, Fipsco, Bill's, you've got more chance of those people going first
before any of your immediate friends that you wouldn't want to go.
So, you know.
I mean, you've got a good potential of going off in half an inch, I'll agree with that.
Yeah, because once the odds got to 50-50, you're going to start getting that.
I think I would just tap it like 90% of the time.
I think I'll start off just an initial kick-banging.
Yeah, I don't like driven houses.
Say that sort of thing.
That's the way you're supposed to roll.
Yeah, can you, can you just.
300 times and then you do the 10 times and fuck that 50.
So from now until we pass, about 50,000 times then?
There you go.
Great luck.
Lucky now.
Cheers for that first.
That was a good question.
Thanks for your question.
What's our next one?
Monk. Oh Monk, your boy is on the fucking case again.
We've got another story for us.
Cool.
Strapping people.
Let's see, what is up with these guys?
Hi lads.
So a fairly recent incident for you.
Oh, fucking new in my head.
Thanks, yeah.
Getting it soggy.
Fucking crazy.
We had a new chap coming, who was on the larger side of the lot.
Infested him from his family.
He was out of juice man.
Within a few hours he was moaning and kicking up when he was hungry.
The big portions weren't enough for him.
So yeah, back then he was coming.
These went on for days, then it changed to stomach ache.
So he stopped moaning, then he was hungry.
Now he's moaning, then he's got stomach ache.
Then onto violence, sickness and diarrhoea.
Luckily we have cleaning staff because his cell was a horror show.
He's been sick and shit all over his fucking cell.
I couldn't do that.
Who has to clean up?
Just cleaning staff.
That's what he says.
I couldn't work, couldn't get any of the jobs that I was doing.
I'd do any job that I had to do.
I had to physically go in and clean up the sick and shit in that bar.
Luckily we have cleaning staff because his cell was a horror show.
Turned out to quench his hunger, he started to steal people's bars of soap.
My bars of soap?
I'm guessing they were scented or something.
We thought, oh this smells horrible.
Yeah, different bar blood flow.
The built up bacteria has surely been tartar.
What the fuck is that?
Because bars of soap are just sitting there covered in fucking grime and pews and shit.
I thought you could buy your own food or a biscuit.
I suppose if he'd only just been there for a couple of days.
I'm sure he'd come around a few times.
He'd probably bought some biscuits.
Of course if he's rubbing up his family's but they don't want to employ the biscuits.
They get to clubbing.
Yeah.
Have you seen that? They've cooked the food.
I've seen some of the videos.
Yeah, doing noodles and having the kettle.
Yeah.
That's a man of the wise, isn't it?
Obviously not.
I wonder who formed the cells as well.
I don't think he used a northern fork.
I reckon he just fucked up the fucking...
He fucked up the entire thing.
Yeah.
He filled up bacteria and destroyed his insides rather than cleaning them.
He ended up being in the hospital for two weeks.
He stopped using soap and moved on to shower gel.
I assume he's not eating soap.
He can't be all there.
He's had a job for.
Yeah, I think the last bit he's joking there.
He's not using soap, he's using shower gel.
It's alright because the rest of the story...
I just want to think someone would be that hungry to eat a bar of soap.
Well, yeah, it's just some fuck you.
Apologies for the awkward little...
maybe bit there, but just a few tech difficulties.
Anyway, yeah, the bar of soap eating impact ones.
Yeah, I think he's just that hungry.
He's sitting there in the bar of soap,
but he's like, I'm going to eat this.
And then he's well, I don't know,
he might convince himself that he's dead or what.
He's kind of qualitative or not.
So he's gone for a shower.
Or he's gone to the shower area.
So now he's managed to grab everyone else's bar of soap.
And then where's he been?
Has he gone back to his cell?
Now he's effing in the shower.
What if he's dead?
He could just hide beyond the place.
Yeah, under his man boots and shit.
And then after he's took the first boy,
he'll be like...
He's still dead.
Yeah, he must have been disgusted by it though.
He must have enjoyed it.
I imagine he's had a couple of bars,
scram them all in one,
and that's what's fucked his stomach.
If he's had one on its own,
he's been okay.
It must have been a large quantity.
Yeah, he must have had a lot of fucking 4, 4, 5 in one.
And then it's just fucking
huggled in his guts and that.
And fucking come out both ends of him.
What's not right?
The mentality of some people.
I don't know what's fucking wrong with that.
When you see these programs,
people eating tissue and fucking...
I remember one where
she was eating a piece of plasterboard and that.
It's not plasterboard, it's jaw perception.
It's fucking...
There's some old weirdos out there
that are not welcome.
There's no...
No benefits.
It's not sustainable in your body.
It's just eating something
because of a weird craving in your head.
Like any...
If you've got a craving of chocolate
and fucking...
I really feel like cheese on toast and all.
Yeah, but who sits there and thinks,
I just want to get that toilet roll
and that pilot's oaf and
what's wrong with that?
What...
It is just a psychological thing, isn't it?
I suppose. It's strange.
Have you finally ever been that
kind of a problem?
I know it's so interesting to you.
Yeah, I've done a lot.
It's made by some people, too.
Yeah.
It must have been
scented or something.
Sure enough, it sure does.
If it's a big laugh
and you've got this old
little laugh and fucking big laugh
and it's happening where?
Like a loafer breath?
Like the left over, so it's going to go out
in a few days.
I suppose you could have done that, but I've heard about that.
I don't think you'll learn yet, mate.
Yeah, it must not be long.
I wonder what you've seen from his family as well.
Is that his warbinds in here?
Or is he just dropping it off?
Well, yeah. Piece of shit, mate.
Well, what do you...
Or was he just stealing money so he could get some more fucking kebabs and that?
I wonder if he's seen himself.
Right, and that.
The rest he's put down
and put in the soap and the background.
I don't know.
He's not going to watch with me, though.
I know Mike, so
I'll keep that as a shelter.
I know Mike saw some stuff.
Yeah.
He's not going to hate it, you know.
Fucking adventure.
Yeah.
That kid must have fucking loved the story.
I bet his shit's not enough, though.
He was fucking all over the
room and out the room.
Motherfucking...
Looking last.
I mean, would it...
Would this have been sway-cawning as well?
How is it?
How is it? What way is it, man?
You made it that close, then?
I couldn't do it, though.
You couldn't go in the top room.
Did I have a room there?
I don't know.
I know you always see them doing fucking
American Monopoly and I don't know if you can
think over it, but there's a lot of the ones
where I've seen the fucking prison talks
and fucking video and that
where a lot of disabled people
cook in their own food and that.
They've got the role in the visual itself, so it's a role
on the table, TV,
PlayStation, posters, fucking
stuff. Have you seen that one
from the way I've been, Mark?
It's like a new...
It's a new
system that we can't introduce
where it's like a whole town
more than a prison. Yeah, it's like a whole
society, isn't it?
You can leave.
I remember one of them was earning more than
a prison guard was earning.
The families were in that, though.
I don't think the prison...
I don't think the
family can sell them, but they can go to
the family and the guy.
But then they have to be packed all the time.
Even then they can take
the car lessons and do the kind of
courses. But you think lots of crime's over there
really, like...
I mean, that's where you get crime everywhere.
I suppose that's the volume.
Then they send the names and that.
But not what? What do you...
Most of the rest of the world really.
Yeah, you know, North Wales
speak better English than most of us as well.
Especially Gabby in Fonville.
Yes, it's...
It's different worlds, isn't it?
Over there, really.
The American one seems really
hard-core, really. I suppose.
All that, just the pilot, the shooting.
I can't imagine making...
Imagine that, yeah. Nine of them
top of the...
One of them top of the morning.
Yeah.
I mean, look, in the sand,
you're hanging on a sheet log, doing your art.
You know what I mean?
What would you prefer, though? Wake up,
be a sailmate having a sheet
next to you, or
wake up with a cup of
coffee and having
a fat man?
I mean...
I don't think there's a winner there, but...
Come here.
Or someone that would offer a hand for you.
I don't know.
I'll reach you.
Oh, God.
No, it's just... Yeah, I don't know.
I just...
I don't know. I'll prefer a sheet,
because if you've got to go, you've got to go.
You can fucking go with that
at once. You can literally
wait until you're on the road to find the one you can.
The law for these prisoners,
I have to look in.
Yeah.
Hopefully we don't get caught
for making the law sick.
We don't have to be in the
prisons ourselves.
Yeah, okay.
What the fuck is that?
Is it country now?
Yeah.
So,
because we've had some technical difficulties,
which we've just got
to get in the fucking world at, you know,
we are going to leave it there now,
because we've lost a lot of time today.
I'm still going to edit all this
and get it into your earlobes
as quick as possible.
So, appreciate you
having it a little bit later today.
We do try and get it out
for around about 10 o'clock or something more in these days.
But sometimes, it's what I've learned.
Yeah.
Honestly, if you've got any more questions,
just feel free to email.
You know, just, you know, any
questions that you want us to answer.
Always, real talking podcasts.
Real talking podcasts at gmail.com.
At Ash and JD on the Twitter,
at Techspace.
Real talking podcasts on YouTube.
Again, not just stories,
if you've got
any fucking questions
that you want us to answer.
Anything you'd rather solve, anything like that.
More like that fucking
questions.
That was a funny little question, really.
Magic buttons.
Oh yeah, and
if you do live in a book-hanging area,
you want something like this.
To be fair, it doesn't have to be that.
Yeah, just one hot spot, yeah.
Yeah, if there's anywhere else out there,
you know what,
anywhere that we can pop to.
Have a bit of a fucking
close-up or a fucking idea of the spot we're in.
You know, as well.
I don't know what they're doing in there.
I don't know, it's just,
it's so bad that they've opened this place
and they have these,
I don't know, scaffolding
you know, so you can get an
aerial view so you can see more well.
And then you can see across like the valley.
And they have them there,
I forgot what they're doing, scaffolding.
I don't know, they're like in there.
Yeah, I've not heard of anything like that.
So you get a whole bunch of points,
it's all scaffolding and stuff.
Essentially, it's not the,
over here there's a lot of the
door upon, like, cutting the door upon,
shed, but it's a shed with a big window.
I've got pictures like that.
Oh yeah, the birdwatchers.
Yeah, the birdwatchers and the
sit down with the binoculars and all that.
That's expensive, isn't it?
I did an exhibition show a couple of years ago
and just saw the stamp.
Some of the binoculars, a lot forward-branded.
Yeah, it just looked like some birds.
Apple bird mount,
the robin seat,
the wing.
It's expensive,
for instance, because it's fucking crazy.
For a rally,
again,
it's not very expensive.
I don't know what I'll do,
sometimes just go off on random shoot.
We always do, one at the very end.
These people are like,
I've just finished, I'm fucking going to have a wank.
I'm going to have a wank.
If someone's sitting there and listening to us
and I'm going to wank at the same time,
I don't know what to do.
Well, let us know.
We're talking about gmail.com.
Yeah, where's a strange place?
What's the strangest thing you can do here?
I think there's some sort.
Yeah, yeah.
Reach around.
Yeah.
Appreciate it as always.
Thank you for coming.
Not that much.
Emails, questions and all that.
Have you had a full seat next week then?
Yeah.