Hi everyone and welcome back to this week's episode of the Real Talking Podcast with your
hosts Ash and JD.
Since we didn't do it until the end of the last episode I do just want to give a shout
out to Tanya's Tales Dog Grooming.
She designed the new logo that we've got but not only is she talented with the artistic
sort of things, she obviously is a dog groomer.
You can go onto her Instagram which is tanyas.tails.doggrooming.
Also the website which is the same tanyas.tails.doggrooming.co.uk.
Give her a look and if she's close enough to you obviously you'll get a good price.
I think she's giving a 50% discount which she might.
But to be fair if you do want her services just tell her where you've come from she might
give you a discount, I don't know.
I don't get one anyway.
So that new shiny logo that you've seen is from her.
Send her some love, follow her on Instagram and all that.
She's got a lot to do, you should be doing it for us by now as well but not all of you
are but we'll save that for another debate.
So we've had another bit of a strange week though really haven't we?
All happening mate, all happening.
So a couple of weeks ago there was the alien sightings in Peru, these glowing figures and
now we've had these little mummies that have been x-rayed in Mexico but the bodies were
found in Peru.
Yeah in a mine in Peru, an alkyne mine or something like that?
Yeah which they've been carbon dated to around 1000 to 1500 years old I think.
Because I couldn't find out when they got discovered.
So they've been sitting on them, not literally, they found them I think it was 2016 or 2017
so they've had them for a good five years or so.
And what did you think when you saw her mate?
What was the first thing when you've seen her?
Well the initial imagery, I will put the picture on for anyone who is watching on YouTube if
you haven't seen it already.
So initially it looked like a man standing there with two mummified cats in a coffin.
That was just a first glance.
So then as you sort of look into it and see the close-up pictures, they're bigger than
a cat, they're strange looking, they've got little nosies, I think they've got three fingers.
Three fingers yeah.
They were quite a skinny, just pure, well not to say nasty but anorexic looking thing,
whether that's just because of the mummification process.
And I'm sure the Mexican government claimed that there was eggs inside, that when they
x-rayed them you could see eggs.
That's the strange thing though because with the x-ray pictures there's implants of some
sort which looks like a shoulder support, almost like a T-bone shape, metal shoulder
support.
And then the eggs are the same, light consistency, so with x-rays most things are invisible essentially,
it's translucent.
So the bones, the denser the object the more light it shows, so the bones are translucent
as well essentially on an x-ray.
And then with the metal that's why it's shiny, it's a solid image on the x-ray.
Now eggs, if you were to x-ray an actual egg you'd see through most of that as well, it
would only be the slight bit of the bones of what's grown inside of you.
But the shell itself would barely be visible, so for it to be as solid of a loss as the
metal implants that are inside of the body.
I felt that quite strange really.
When I first seen them I was just like, the fucking fake.
So while I was doing just a little bit of information I found out that apparently these
got debunked in 2021 and not only that, the ufologist that presented the, has been found
is lied before in the past.
And the one thing that I thought was strange was, isn't it weird how you can see vanadins
look like?
That's how they look like, so small, big head, three fingers.
So it's mad how you can see vanadins, oh that's how he looks like.
So I thought that was a bit strange.
But I just thought as soon as I saw them I was just like, who the fuck is going to believe
this?
Well going on to how you say, as soon as you hear the word ADN or ET, you have an instant
picture in your mind.
But is that down to because they've been visiting for all these years that it's instinctual,
that it's an inbred memory in your mind?
When you tell Hollywood perceived it, so you see that and I find that quite strange, you
tell Hollywood perceived you as one person, so maybe, I don't know.
Yeah, I did think it was quite similar looking as well though, to the actual old film ET.
So I know we've, again I'll put a picture up of ET, I know he had a little bit of a
chubby belly, but if he was to be mummified and then you'd just seen the skeleton essentially,
to me that was not quite similar.
Because that elongated skull.
Yeah and it was quite a flat face with a small nose, look what them aliens had and long fingers,
so when he's touching out, he peels the cut on the finger, whatever it is.
It's been a long time since I've seen it to be honest.
I was never really a fan as a kid of that film really.
I feel like it was one of those films that was quite overhooked.
Was it Drew Barrymore as well?
Yeah, Drew Barrymore and I drew him.
I don't want to pick a part of the film, but just in the fucking basket of the bike and
he's just flying through the air.
It's iconic mate.
God, bullshit mate.
We'll say this, the alien scene has been hot this year, it's been lovely mate.
Yeah, it's boosting up, like one we were saying the other week.
I suppose everything is conspiracy nowadays and that's one of the things with this,
it's going to stay a conspiracy until the two subjects get tested by a world scientist
and then I can either debunk it scientifically or whatever.
If not, it's going to stay as a conspiracy theory.
Yeah, well I know NASA was having a press conference the other day as well,
and they were meant to have been saying what evidence that they've got of alien life forms
and I didn't see much come out of that either really.
So they got asked the question and one of the people at working at NASA says
until the subject gets tested, it's going to stay as what it is basically,
conspiracy theory.
Also a fun fact going off topic as always,
it reminded me because when I thought, so you know Russia's got Hitler's school,
they've never let no one else test that, which I've always thought was weird
because obviously mine have been another conspiracy theory.
But yeah, I always thought that was weird how you've got this subject,
you've presented it, we've got this person, we've got these aliens,
why wouldn't you want to send them out just to get validation?
Well I feel with the likes of Russia, individual states and countries are going to try
and hold that as much as they can for the scientific benefit.
So if it is, when it's just a body of sorts, it's going to be down to
dissecting, getting the biological things, like how does this body work?
The main thing would be the technology side, so if they did have a craft,
a ship of some sort that's crashed, they're going to try and again dissect all that technology,
which again when you start looking through and you see the conspiracy theories,
we've had them for years and there's a load that are about to drop at some point soon.
Well that's what I mean, like when, if you said, when does a conspiracy theory
stop being a conspiracy theory, because everything is a conspiracy theory, until it gets proven.
So I don't feel like these people wouldn't just go, here we go, just fucking test one of them.
NASA, NASA you come here and don't send it, you come here and test it.
In regards to that.
Well it's like if you're trying to set a world record, you can't just go lift 600 kilos in your home gym
and say I'll set the record, you need officials there.
So yeah, they should do, but I don't know, they're just fucking, it's too fucking,
me, me, me, when it comes to all these countries, they just want the glory for themselves.
They never want to share it out, share the wealth, share the technologies or anything through that.
But they'll be sharing the fucking nukes sooner or after, won't they?
It's still on edge with Putin, fucking wanting to drop some bombs.
And then I know North Korea, old Kim, they've got a new submarine out now,
which he's claiming it's the best submarine ever, the most deadliest.
He can kill everyone, everywhere on the planet in an instant.
So, a little, what I would ask him is, how would he know we can destroy everyone on the planet
without firing one? And two, if you don't let outside stuff get in,
how do you know it's better than everything else?
Do you know what I mean? I mean, they can't afford to run the streetlights at night.
I know. That's because he was building his submarine or anything.
Do you know in North Korea, you have to have a picture of him, that's a certain size.
At any point, officials can come in and if it's got, if they wipe the thing running,
you're running prison for it.
Yeah. And it's like, they have the cars just driving around,
singing his name and preaching him and all that as well, don't they?
And it's just all propaganda, isn't it?
You can't do nothing, even just all the channels, it's just programmes about him, isn't it?
Yeah. Madness.
I find it fascinating, between North Korea and South Korea, there's a district zone,
so you can't go into this zone.
And the South Koreans and North Koreans put their tallest officers,
so the ones that look more threatening.
Five foot five.
So in that culture, a five foot five would probably be an average height,
so they put the tallest soldiers, and all they do with that is,
because it's a bit where you actually can cross,
North Korea have those biggest soldiers looking at South Korea's biggest,
and all they do is just stare at you with their holding guns and all that.
Imagine it's high fever season and one of them sneezes,
and they're like, that's it, they start popping around at each other.
It's mental.
Well, from one strange story to an even stranger person.
Fucking Sam Smith's been at it again, hasn't he?
It's just absolutely disgusting.
Now, you've been on about Sam Smith since we started this podcast, and rightly so,
because of an absolute fucking diff.
It's not an agenda, but he's a fucking pratt.
Right, yeah, so if you haven't seen this video, please check it out.
It's Sam Smith's TikTok, of course.
So I'm going to play the audio for you now,
and Jason describe what he's singing in his best words.
So here we go.
So it starts on...
Oh, God, I can't even do it.
Sam...
Right.
So, sorry, Jack, I know I've asked you...
The one thing that is fucking annoying me straight away,
the caption is Tinky Winky's gay.
So he's putting the kid's cartoon character and saying he's gay
while he's wearing Tinky Winky knee-high boots with denim shorts,
with a striper T-shirt with a little kid eating apples.
So take that as what you will.
Obviously, the tops will be tied on him, obviously.
I mean, he has lost a little bit of weight from when he was rolling around.
Yeah, I mean, he had it to lose, so...
But I know you're not keen on this...
I wasn't the same man, but this person...
He's a man at the end of the day with all the bullshit.
At the end of the day, he's just gay,
and he has to help with the propaganda,
the confusion bullshit that's all out there.
But to think it's acceptable,
because he's not doing it in a comedy sketch or anything.
No, no, no.
He's doing it being legit, thinking he's fucking clever,
just prancing around with these fucking boots on,
the stupid little fucking jean shorts, and the top.
And then he blows a little kiss at the camera at the end as well.
I think he's got a bit of fucking jewellery on as well.
Did he have earrings on or something?
Yeah, he had earrings with his beard on.
With his beard, full on grown.
But the thing, he does this,
obviously to get people talking, obviously we're talking about it.
So, you know, but...
I mean, there was talking about it on Piers Morgan's show,
and it's just...
He's the one who's pushing this.
You know, there's...
He's one of the main reasons that's pushed this non-binary topic.
But when you walk around with...
Nihal, Tinky Winky, Tee Tee...
It's just like, why kids TV show?
You know...
Why's he got to be set as gay?
Yeah, and then why's he got a striped T-shirt of a young kid eating an apple?
It's not sitamay, that is, that whole outfit.
Yeah, no, Joe, I do want to say, you have...
Well, you've said it before...
I'm not saying that it isn't nice, but it's just...
The imagery there is draw kids' eyes.
You know, if any kids are searching Teletubbies or Tinky Winky,
that's going to pop up on the day, because it's a popular video at the moment.
Right, and one thing I know, Lise, sorry for this...
Sorry, I'm not.
So, I was reading the comments, and about 95% of the comments were just pure hate.
Tinky Winky, Tinky Winky...
Was pure hate, I mean, there's 3,605 as this part's going out.
That's being recorded, sorry.
But, you know, he doesn't get rid of the comments, because he knows it's pushing out, so...
Yeah, more clicks, more views.
A lot of them are saying... So, the first one was, I missed last Sam Smith, and he just commented back, yawn.
Well, that's what a lot of people are saying, that I just missed the old Sam Smith.
Yeah, because when he first came out, songs were good, you know, there was no issues or anything,
and he actually did some good, you know, with the awards show saying,
there should be more women's awards and whatever, and then obviously he just took it too far,
then won him, you know, non-binary awards and whatever.
Where does it fucking stop?
Well, it made me laugh, because I'm going to read some of the comments,
I once said the name of the comments, but the first one is, it's given me,
I've got sweet in the back of my van vibe, so have you just touched on there, so you're not the only one, Jay?
And then someone's put, it's given me something like, what, Blitziaga were doing in Plainside?
And then, I think some words are blocked for the reactions, I think I remember the strokes from some building with kids.
Have you watched The Sound of Freedom?
And then someone, obviously, you're a few trolls, you are a true force to be reckoning your fuck off.
But a lot of them is, I missed it, I missed it old, Sam Smith.
Yeah.
You know, it's just, he's went too far, did he lose it there,
and he got the absolute last date, and then someone's put Fashion Queen, no, he's not a queen.
So, he's Sam Stirling on Binary, it's just like, iconic.
Oh fuck off.
I didn't know, I want them boots, so cute, but a lot of them are, to be fair, a lot of them,
I'd say it's less than 94 now, there's a lot more fucking, trying to fucking tell him he's perfect,
and he's doing the barn fire.
So that's his fucking crew that are jumping on his back, you know, trying to defend him.
It's like, did you see, it was the Ballon d'Or, not the Ballon d'Or,
but it was the best under 21 in the world, under 21 football player.
Have you heard about this?
I've seen some of the least nominations.
Okay, so basically, and this is the power that he has, these fans will do,
so the one who was leading, I can't remember who it was, sorry, you should have, sorry,
I didn't know it was going to go here, so the person who was leading the race to be crowned
the best under 21 footballer in Europe, he said to Dean Long, Tyler Swift,
so all her fans then have gone and voted for everyone else, and he was winning Ballon 30%,
and now he's got no chance of winning, because all the Swifties are like...
Yeah, because didn't Drew Bellingham say that he's a Swift fan?
Yeah, so that's, he's pushed it, so he said he won the Tyler Swift fan,
and Drew Bellingham asked him, and he was like, yeah, I'm a Swiftie,
so everyone now is blasting him up, but, you know, these kind of people,
I've had this kind of following, but I'm just going to show you the picture now,
I've stopped here, just tell, you know, look at that.
Well, again, you know, it's like he's stuffing his fucking little pants as well,
I reckon he's got fucking, he's got one pair of socks down there.
He's wearing shorts, but like, girls' shorts, they're tight, high-waisted, but...
He's got a full-grown beard with earrings, as you do.
Yeah.
Have you ever thought about wearing girls' earrings with your beard, mate?
I've never wanted to wear earrings in general.
It's a t-shirt, mate, the t-shirt's a bit weird for me.
Yeah, it looks like it's a t-shirt that he's bought off of Wish.com,
because the material looks a bit too stretched out and, like, printed on ink.
And it's a strong t-shirt with the kid wearing a strong t-shirt on it as well.
He's an apple, it's just, it's weird.
It's like, who's that kid?
Is that meant to be a picture of him when he was a child or something?
Oh, then I'm out.
Yeah, it's just absolutely fucking...
It's like, it screams nuts, you know.
It's like Piers Morgan used to say when he heard that buzzer,
it was like, oh, it's gone nuts, and I wish we had one then.
Yeah.
Not something similar, but something totally different at the same time.
You know, a buzzer like that.
Yeah, weird.
Yeah, but back to the Ballon d'Or nominations while that's still in my head.
How's Harry Kane in it?
Harry Kane in it?
Yeah.
He's literally just gone to Bayern Munich and he's already in the running for it.
You would have thought that it should be Harlins to lose,
but I reckon it got to Messi because everyone fucking wanks out at Messi.
Yeah.
We all know right now that.
I think Harlins are going to win it purely because...
I don't think he will.
I think Man City are going to pay him off.
You know, they'll pay off Ibiza to get rid of their fines.
FIFA love Messi too much.
FIFA love and ESPN.
Have you ever seen, you know, since he's been to America?
Oh, yeah.
They do a five yard pass and they're wanking over it.
They're going fucking out.
Yeah, but that's why, because it's more American at the moment,
that's why I don't think Messi will have it.
If he was still a PSG, then it'd still be an out on for him.
But when you break down his numbers, he had an average season for PSG.
Yep.
And then, you know, he did win the World Cup, which is fair enough,
but, you know, when you look at what won the Triple...
No, if Messi was to have Harlan's season,
and Harlan was to have Messi's season, Messi would win it.
Yeah, yeah, Harlan would need to be the equation.
Yeah, but, yeah, sorry, it's got a bit of a tangent.
Yeah, yeah.
While we're still on the fucking football section
of this non-footballing podcast.
Which is better than footballing.
Yeah.
So I didn't watch the game last week,
or on Tuesday against Scotland.
But it's just, again, it's all been turned into a fucking Harry Maguire
fucking, or just a circus act.
You know, he didn't need to come on against Scotland,
and then he does, and he scores an own goal.
I saw Ukraine's goal,
and Harry Maguire is holding another one of his own players,
which stops them from actually defending the situation,
and then the Ukraine player scores the goal.
And it's...
Everyone's fucking trying to defend Harry Maguire,
saying he's a good player.
He's not.
These people aren't watching him play, and it's just stupid.
And then the fact that his mum asked to jump onto Twitter to defend him,
now, fair enough.
Look, if people are slagging him off personally,
then, yeah, it's wrong.
But as a footballer, you should get...
He's going to get a critique for his performance.
Yeah, it should be allowed for people to have their opinions on his performances.
I mean, it's just not fair.
If me and you was getting paid £190k this podcast, and it was poor,
I'd fucking have Lord Dime, I fucking...
Yeah, yeah.
I'd fucking slag him off.
But to be fair, fucking...
If we was getting a corner money for the podcast,
it would be one of the best fucking out there,
because we'd have all the production value,
and the fucking team to make it as good as it...
Well, not saying it's not as good at the moment,
but it would be out there,
because we'd have the money to push it out there.
But, you know, you've got all these footballers
that are on that corner fucking money,
and they're fucking just...
They're not good enough for that money.
They should be training all day long.
All the shit's going on with Sancho again this week as well.
He's been disciplined because he's late,
he's not putting the effort in in the training.
And then you've got all these pundits,
Jamie O'Hara, Gabby's fucking moving off again,
saying that Ten Hogs fucking disrespecting the team.
No, Sancho is disrespecting the team while turning up late
and not putting the fucking effort in.
And then he had to tweet up for fucking over a week,
slagging off the manager, saying,
no, I am putting an effort in.
I will always fucking be in the squad.
You need to go and not mark Goldbridge's podcast
and speak about my new...
I'd love to fucking have a chat with Mark, to be fair.
Just a little thing that I've always wanted from a distance.
So, when we're in the Olympics, it's Team GB.
When we're done, GB.
I think golf is...
Is it English?
So, why are sometimes I'll be knowing as a...
So, Olympics, it's...
You know, like in... Sorry, GB.
GB. But then in football, it's England, Scotland,
Wales, Northern Ireland.
Wouldn't it... Isn't it time?
Or do you think it would all...
How would you feel about UK having not England,
Scotland, Wales and Northern Ireland having one team,
like a UK?
So, like West Germany and East Germany.
Because that's basically... I know that was too...
Well, you know, I had a bit of a different...
I've always wondered why we're not had a UK football team
or GB football team, but in the Olympics, we do.
Yeah.
I've always thought that.
I suppose it's just been down to fucking spreading the
wealth out more, really, because the governments,
the individual countries can earn more money having their
individual teams.
But overall, it would be quite an interesting team, really.
Because they're always... Can you imagine England with
prawn and bale?
And then, you know, Scotland always have good goalkeepers
as well.
You know, like McGregor, they always have decent, solid players.
Yeah, yeah.
I've always wondered that.
When do we... If any of these possibilities, does that ever happen?
Yeah, I don't think it would because, again,
look, Scotland, they don't want to be a part of the UK.
They haven't wanted to be for as long as I can remember.
But that's not Texas.
Texas not being one of being part of America,
it's just some things you can't help.
Yeah, it's kind of tough shit.
Yeah, it's...
You know, because that's where...
When we go to war, it's not England, it's UK.
So when, you know, if this country was to go,
then we're all together, arm in arm.
I've always thought that the dynamic of this football, but...
Football's a strange sport though, really, isn't it?
Because the passion and the aggression that comes out of the fans,
you don't have that with us.
You know, the Welsh...
Not the Welsh, sorry.
Shout out to Welsh fans.
The rugby, all the fans are mixed in the grounds and now the fans,
even though it's competitive, there's no aggression with it.
And it's all a good laugh.
They can all have a point and that together afterwards.
Whereas with the football, it's always been about the firms, the fights,
the fucking, like, individual pubs.
Obviously, we've got it in Birmingham, where it's a blues pub or it's a biller pub,
you know, and especially on match days,
you can't cross fucking breed in them places, you have to stick to your own.
You know, tennis and that, again, people like the players,
but it's not...you never see anyone having a photo for a fucking tennis match,
game, whatever it is.
Erm...
You know, even with the NFL, you don't see any votes or anything kicking off.
Any time that you do, it's just because they're too drunk
and the fans just pointing their wunks themselves.
Not full fucking team against team.
I think in America, the worst team-team is the hockey, because fans, they're...
Yeah, but that's allowed in the actual game.
Yeah, so that's why I think it expands to the crowd, doesn't it?
Yeah.
It's a weird one, I think.
Yeah, it's just football, it's always been...
It's just had aggressive fans.
You know, because it's not just the UK thing with the aggression as well.
You know, you've got your ultras in fucking Poland and all that.
It's a bit...
Yeah, you know, a lot of them, obviously, they take you too far with the racism,
but, you know, when it is the international games and stuff,
you can't go anywhere near those crowds.
You have to be escorted around safely, don't you?
So, yeah, it's weird that you just don't have it with other sports, do you?
No.
Yeah, it's strange.
It was just something that I've always thought about, probably out there.
If you've got any views or opinions on it, email us.
Yeah, email...
Tweet us.
X.
X us.
Is it called X us now, then, or is it still...
Yeah, so when I get a notification email from Twitter,
it says X, in brackets, formally Twitter.
Right.
So, yeah, it has been officially changed.
How long they're going to keep saying formally Twitter, I don't know.
Right.
Because everyone knows it's X now, they really don't know.
Yeah, email address, realtalkingpod at gmail.com.
Twitter, X is at Ash and JD.
And then YouTube, Real Talking Pod.
If you want to see what we'll apply.
Yeah, if you haven't already.
And for the people that do watch the videos, don't forget to log, share, subscribe.
And then, again, we adjust the podcast, listening only, download.
It makes a difference because we can see the actual interaction of people,
how many people are downloading and listening.
I know I can see how many people are listening on Spotify,
but it's just easier if you download.
You know, it's always appreciated.
So, since we've gone on to talking about emails,
we have got a couple emails again.
When my phone decides to open up and not go on to the wrong email.
Fuck yeah.
Yeah, but thank you for everyone that does emailing
and takes the time out of the day to email.
We do appreciate it.
It really is appreciated.
It's not that it makes it easier for us because it does,
but if you've got questions and that,
it's easier for us to interact with you
than to just allow them to start ranting about Harry McGraw again.
Obviously, we've had the emails, we just see downloads.
So, when people email, he knows that actually people are listening
and are interested.
Yeah, and enjoying it as well really.
So, little Kirstie's emailed back in.
Right, she's at it again.
Yeah, hi guys, did you watch the Sidemen charity game?
Also, if you was picked for a game, what position would you play?
So, I'm guessing you didn't watch that game.
Not the whole game, no.
I watched Beats and then obviously I watched a lot of the highlights.
I watched it.
It was definitely more entertaining than what I would have felt
watching the England games would have been.
Stephen Troyes, he's a funny fucking comedian.
He does the commentary doesn't he?
Yeah, commentator, and you're listening to him
and you think, fucking hell, you're pushing it a bit there.
He says stuff so willing and so clean with you.
You could see, I think it was Lawrence who was the other commentator
and you could hear him trying to hold in the laughter
and not wanting to comment or continue what he's just made a note of.
But yeah, he's like a little bit of a golden bean to me.
But just in general, it was entertaining just watching these non-footballers
just have a go.
But Mr. Beast played a lot to be fair.
The one thing I will say is speed gets better.
I know obviously he looks a lot better every year doesn't he?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
He's so fast, he's fucking wrecking it.
He is, yeah.
But he just needs to practice on his actual shooting.
I think he's 100 mile an hour in his head as well as his feet.
So he's getting there and then he's not able to put in.
His head's moving quicker than his legs are.
And it's not with the penalty, it's like he slowed down too much there.
He should have just fucking whacked it.
But yeah, I thought a strange fucking...
Just like a ball card essentially was Angry Ginge.
So he's a YouTuber streamer.
He's made a couple of appearances on the United stand
with Mark Goldbridge and the rest of the team.
So yeah, he's a Man United fan.
I've seen some of his clips before and out anyways.
He's playing GTA V and starts shouting at the other people playing the game.
But he actually played quite well.
And he was rocking the Sunday league, Sunday Coles as well.
Yeah, yeah, had them fucking beasts on.
All black.
You know when you wear all black, you know,
because you can't have all the gear with no idea.
So to be safe, all black boots, there's no pressure there.
The more colourful your boots, the more pressure there is to do well.
Well, you know, it just goes back to the old Phil Goen's one,
the bloody pink boots.
If you're any fan, you shouldn't...
I remember I picked up the yellow pair of F50s.
So this is... I don't know if you remember them.
There was a yellow pair and there was a blue pair, F50s.
And I've always had... I normally stuck to like, normally black boots.
But these were the first time I went drastic in a lot of bright orange boots.
And I remember, like, one of the lads coming up to us, he was like...
Yeah, he was like, you can't be fucking shit wearing that.
That's always stuck with me, even when I...
So I brought the orange hyperphenams as well after that.
Yeah, it's just... Yeah.
So I mainly just had black boots when I was younger.
Yeah, but when you were a keeper...
Well, yeah, I didn't really have to have much.
Yeah, I mean, keepers just need all black, nightic, or the aliac ones.
But it was always the Preds that I had, the old Predators.
So it was the black and red ones, like black with the red stripes.
The most outlandish ones that I got was...
Again, it was only just because of Beckham, really, but it was the white Preds.
Oh, with the blue?
It wasn't the blue ones that I got, it was silver on them.
But yeah, that was the most colourful.
It was just the brightest pair that I ever had.
But yeah, so the game itself, I did watch it.
It was like 2.4 million that they raised as well.
And to be fair, it got kickstarted because Prime, obviously, KSI and Logan Paul,
they donated 250,000 straight off the bat.
But still, yeah, 2.4 million, that's a fucking achievement.
About any for one go.
And then with their foundation, the spread it out between several charities.
So fair play to them. We donated as well, as a real talking podcast.
Little donation for us, so we fucking contribute to it.
But yeah, it's nice to see that these lads, it's not just from sitting there playing games
and out on the computer and putting it out on the platform, the YouTube and that,
they're actually doing things.
I know there's been the Mini Mincer, I think it's MM7 foundation for a couple of years and that.
So they are doing things with the wealth.
So fair play to them. It's quite good.
So where would you play though?
Well, it's still been goals for me. I've still got the reflexes.
I'll make all the saves.
Yeah, I just can't go wrong with it.
But any problems to get put outfield, I think I'll just stick in the centre back position really.
Get some fucking tackles in because you know yourself, even though I was a goalkeeper,
I wasn't afraid about putting my fucking foot in.
That was the worst part, when we did use to play the Sunday league and that fucking,
Sunday league tagging up as it is, but when the lads are still turning up,
fucking half-cut from the night before.
It's not a proper football, mate.
I think it was one of the last games that I played in the Sunday league.
It was like 9-2, we got battered.
Not through any fault on my own from conceding fucking all the goals.
Because it was like seven of them with fucking one-on-one chances.
When I say one-on-one, there was like three strikers against me.
And I remember at one point, it was like six or seven that's already gone past me
and I'm just pissed off.
And the lads running towards me and I didn't even go for the ball,
I just fucking booted the legs out from underneath him.
And the refs come over, just shaking his head.
And I should have got centre, but he was just like,
lads, don't do that, just give me a yellow.
That team was literally the worst team ever.
It was the most...
You wouldn't learn playing football from that.
You've had one goalkeeper and ten attackers.
Literally. It was so hard.
But yeah, that's still simply goalkeeping.
So yourself, you've been all over the place really on the football pitch, haven't you?
But what's your preferred position, what place would you want to play?
Attacking right. That would be...
So I used to, when I used to play football,
I used to play attacking right or if we had no centre mid,
they used to ask me to cover centre mid.
So yeah, I'd stick to one of them.
I'd say probably more centre mid now because the sprint speed is probably gone.
Yeah, you've got to have the legs to be able to do the man rings still.
Last time I played football, I tried sprinting.
I thought, fucking hell, I'm running slow motion here.
Because you know, I mean, everyone goes through,
you know when you add a bit of pace about it, yeah.
You know, as an attacking player, you know, you beat a man and run off from him.
And we was playing against these 19 year olds in this power league.
And I got round them and I remember the one kid going,
you could tell he used to be good when he used to be younger.
Oh my God, he fucking killed me because I'm like, I get what he's saying.
I told the lads, because he said, one lad asked how old I was and I said, I'm 34 now.
He's like, you're not 34 and all these mates are calling him guys
and he's telling me off and everything.
And yeah, I said I haven't played football for like five years now.
Probably six, well, I said five years, but probably more like six years.
But you know, the one thing with football, you've got to keep playing it because otherwise you just lose.
Well yeah, if you're not playing week in, week out, training every day and that,
then you know, not necessarily your touch, but the stamina, the pace.
Outside the touch as well, mate.
For me, I suppose everyone's different, but for me, I like being, I had this thing,
I like to be the filliest person on the team. No one was going to outrun me.
That's more the manager used to put me, that's my thing.
No one was ever going to, I'd sprint up, sprint back. No one's, that's, you know, the basics, basically.
Yeah, yeah. And you was doing it after three as well, you know.
No, I was, I was getting, I was paying through, mate.
Well, yeah.
I was paying five out of the gate.
I don't miss them days, to be fair.
But I am thinking of doing it after 34 of next year.
About that.
Yeah, a bit slower.
Yeah.
Yeah, let's do that. But thanks for your email as always.
Yeah, yeah, appreciate it.
Yeah, thank you.
When it fucking opens again, his phone's been doing more editing lately.
Right, and then we've got Mark Jones again.
Mark Jones.
Shout out Marky boy.
Yep.
So if I, if I could, then I would send the video.
But if it's still on the system, I won't be able to get it.
So, fair enough.
Yeah.
I mean, it would have been nice to have seen that, fucking.
Yeah.
Seen that lad fucking piss himself.
So, his puts. I have another little story though.
I've always been on rotation shifts.
So basically some weeks are days, others are nights.
So one time on a night shift, I was having a little wander around,
and as usual, peeking into the cells, just to see, just to make sure they are asleep.
I started to hear whispering, a few cells down.
So I went to the window, ready to knock, and tell them to go to sleep.
But to my horror, as I show my torch through the glass,
I was greeted with the one lad, crouched forward with his hands on the top bunk,
while the other lad, while the other lad, I've lost it there,
while the other lad was reaching around, went near my, was fingering into it.
I was going to say, you know, he's probably got some of these stories of mine.
Fucking hell.
Why is he reaching around though?
I don't know.
Maybe they're not looking each other in the eye or something,
so it's not to be all the way again. I don't know mate.
Not to be all the way again. I don't know.
You can't do that.
So fingering into, both of them whipped their heads at me,
whipped their heads at my bright light through the window and scattered into their beds.
After a moment of me picking up my jaw, taking a deep breath and holding in the laughter,
I told the lad to wash his hands and get to sleep.
Perfect response.
Get that off your finger, kid.
That's a good spread lad.
I've definitely not got a video of that.
I'd be worried if you did.
There's probably so many things he could say, but he probably can't.
It's stuff like that.
It's one of them, he's probably thinking of ones I can say.
That's fucking quality. That's fucking hell.
What do you reckon they're doing? Not to be all the way again?
It must have been just like, I imagine they've been in there for a little while,
they haven't had no action, and so then they've just started talking about it.
I just don't see...
How does that come about?
How does the conversation progress onto,
alright lad, let me fucking stand there, spread a good, hands fucking holding onto the top bum,
and you fucking stand behind me, finger blast my arse,
box fucking me up as well.
I don't see how that gets onto me.
So, there must have been fucking just like wanking in front of each other all the time,
and then for anger, yeah, I'll fucking, I'll have a whack on that.
Yeah, maybe they were working up towards fucking bombing each other or something,
because it's not like they've got a constant supply of fucking lube, have they?
So, having a bit of a finger fucking bumped first, just to get them ready for it maybe.
But like you say, if these have got like missus, partners outside, how do you look, you know,
like you with that guy that got fingered and fucking whacked, and like your missus going to sit next to that,
you've been having fun, yeah, it's been alright, Dave's alright,
like a Sam, ain't he Dave?
Like, you know, we're getting along good, you know what I mean?
How can you not go, like, you're just fucking finger blasting me.
But it's the same as, well, people cheat, how they can fucking just go back to the rubber half and...
Yeah, but it's like gay cheating, like it's...
Cheating, cheating, cheating.
Yeah, full stop, but I mean like it's the fact like where they are, spread out, just get in, just get in.
And then I wonder if that was the start of it.
I wonder if they said anything to Mike after, because he's got to, you know,
because I've got to be worried that maybe if you told someone then, you know, Tony's missus...
Oh, mate, you would fucking tell the rest of your fucking staff.
But then with the staff, you know, because obviously there must,
some staff must get along with some of their like, prisoners, so like it's then,
you've got to be worried then that it gets around.
I'd be walking past them all the time, like fucking, your hands playing out of that.
You wash your hands after that.
Yeah, fucking, oh God.
Well, I imagine since they were fucking embarrassed,
they didn't do anything the rest of that night then, but did they fucking get back on to it the next night?
Well, maybe they'd done it before as well, it was the first time they got caught.
Yeah.
Oh.
It's not, is it going to be returned?
Is it just that one that fucking was getting all the fucking, the finger wanks,
over the doony back to each other?
I suppose Mark's not going to know the answer to that really.
No.
Well, that was, yeah, that was a fucking quality story.
Really appreciate that.
Thank you.
Mate, send us in some more, any other ones that you've got to be fucking,
I mean, I suppose I can't fucking really say because I've not been locked up in that,
but I just, I wouldn't be able, as of the moment,
mental state, I wouldn't be able to fucking do that.
People bank off another geezer or fucking let them, won't they?
Mate, I can't even piss in front of other people, can you imagine?
Well, yeah, you fucking.
I can't imagine.
I just can't even imagine being in prison.
No.
It's just, you know, I've seen some of them go on TikTok live.
Have you ever seen it?
I've not seen it.
This guy is doing TikTok live.
I think he was making some noodles, but he puts it in the kettle
because obviously the cook not put it in the kettle.
And he was cooking like the food of the decent to be fair.
Like, you know, yeah.
It's not, it's not locked up how it should be though.
You know, they're fucking, they're in there and it's meant to be a punishment.
But a lot of the time they're just fucking living the life out there,
having a good fucking time.
So yeah, it's fucking, it's strange, but I couldn't do it.
It's not like the American ones because American ones seem, it's literally just a bed.
You all have one TV that you all watch, don't it?
It seems like.
Yeah. When you see it on the films.
It's like a communion room, isn't it?
An hour a day or something.
And then it's like the outside time they're allowed in the fucking courtyard.
Isolation, I think in there and it's still.
Yeah. And they always seem to have a gym as well, don't they?
Well, just that one fucking bench press fucking.
Yeah. It's normally like a pull up bar, a chest press.
Yeah. You know, it's all fucking, but that's just going up to films and I imagine it's going to be.
It's going to be pretty similar, I mean.
Yeah. Pretty close. They're not going to fucking just make it all up.
Yeah. It's just too much of a fucking luxury forum over here, isn't it?
It makes me think about fucking, was it Mean Machine, was it?
When they played a football against the Garms.
Yeah.
Fucking Jason Statham in goal, a fucking not job.
Danny Dyer.
Danny Dyer. What a fucking Donald he is.
Just happily fucking letting his daughter go on Love Island and knowing she's getting riled and fucking everything.
Just promoting it by his people, isn't it?
You know, more cool, your daughter, Danny as well.
After himself.
Yeah. I mean, it's a bit fucking.
Is Lynn Dearing going to be fine as well? I don't know.
Yeah. I mean, it's a bit fine when the fucking, the men do it as well, isn't it?
So, you know, fucking call my own son Jamie. Nah. I'm not going to do that.
Yeah, I thought you could have called him Junior though.
Yeah. Yeah. That's what they all get called then Junior.
In your case, it would be Jai Jai? Jamie Junior?
Yeah. Nah. I'd probably keep the initials the same.
So, still be Jai Deelog. But yeah, I wouldn't fucking stick with Jamie again.
Not the way it's spelt either. I had that drama again the other day.
Fucking. Because for anyone that doesn't already know,
because I don't know if I've already said it before on the pod,
it's Jai M.E.
Yeah, strange.
Well, it's just fucking, just backwards.
Any, dad had, you put that way because apparently he had a cousin that spels it that way.
But then when you speak to everyone else in the family,
they haven't even got a cousin called Jamie, let alone a fucking spelt it that way.
It's just not this less.
Fucking. Well, it's never been the full ticket anyway as a fucking half-prank.
And so, yeah, because of that, I always had fucking issues with school,
or new teachers, I had to pronounce it, because a lot of game, I mean,
well, Alexa calls me Jaime, because I think that's how you pronounce Spanish.
Again, because with French, it's how you spell.
So when you introduce yourself, it's Jemma, Jai M.E.
And that initial start of the sentence, Jemma, that's J-A-I-M-E.
So, you know, the French would get confused reading it as Jemma, Jemma,
if I was to put it as a text or write it down.
But then, Lord, the banks, because obviously with official documents,
your name has to be spelled right, doesn't it?
And the amount of times I had to fucking go into fucking the bank and say,
no, you put it wrong again, because they'd be fucking doing whatever the job was.
Think that it's been spelled wrong on the system.
They kept changing it back to J-A-M-E.
And then, yeah, again, the other day, even though it's sent it as a text message,
so all they had to do was just copy or press on it on the phone,
and it's already on their email then,
they'd still changed it or tried to toy with it.
And I'm like, I haven't got your email.
I've definitely sent it.
I'm like, yeah, but have you done this?
Oh, but that's spelled wrong.
No, no, that's how it's spelled.
Lord, trust me, it's how it's spelled.
And then even at the end of it, I thought,.com?
I'm like, no,.co.uk.
I'm like, I've had this email address for over 20 years.
So it's back when you could have an email address as.co.uk.
So that's how it is.
I've had 10 attempts just to get an email.
And you think, fucking hell, it's not hard.
Just fucking read it.
Just read it.
It's not...
Oh, fuck, people.
Fucking bad as fucking drivers.
God.
So, yeah, thanks for the email, Mog.
Send us some more stories, man.
Fucking, we need it.
Any more funny ones like...
Well, to be fair, anything.
If you got any fucking, anything controversial, virtual.
Sure, yeah.
Yeah, something that is a bit borderline of what you can and can't say.
And to be fair, yeah, if there is any fucking pictures or videos that you could send him,
then, yeah, bang it over.
Oh, fuck you.
We'll have a giggle over that as well.
Well, yeah, appreciate your emails.
Anyone else that wants to send in any questions and that, please do.
So, again, it's realtalkingpod at gmail.co.uk.com.
You can confuse yourself.
God.
X at Ash and JD.
YouTube's real talking podcast.
So, yeah, we're going to call it a pod there now, then.
That's good.
I want to watch some football later.
Some actual football, not shitty international.
And then I'm away for the week.
So, hope you've enjoyed it.
Shout out again to Tanya's Tales dog grooming.
Go check her out, Instagram and the websites.
The links will all be in the description, I think, anyway.
And, yeah, we'll see you next week, then.
Thanks for listening.
Peace.