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Hi everyone and welcome to episode 25 of the Real Talking Podcast with your host Ash and

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JD. What has two wings and an arrow? I don't know. Cholene's phone box. We wing our own

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own. That's about most of the people to cut your shirt off there. Lots of racist gods.

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Lot of people just like that and for me. I heard it on one of those joke videos the other

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day and I was crying. Told our John about it and even he was laughing. Yeah, episode

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25. We always wanted to get to this point at least reading. It seems to just roll round

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quick. It has? Technically it's 27 for us because of those two last episodes. So yeah,

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27 weeks that we've been going for. 25 episodes. Going strong mate. Yeah. I can see an improvement.

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I know you can see an improvement. Hopefully the fans at home are seeing improvements.

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There's still not enough of them downloading, sharing and liking and sending their emails

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in. But we have actually got four emails this week. It's a record. I know. It's greatly

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appreciated. So when anyone does want to send us an email it's realtalkingpod at gmail.com,

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X, Twitter, whatever everyone's calling it these days. X. Gotta give you that. So yeah,

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it's Ash, at Ash A JD. Also sorry. So you're in charge of your A-Lon. You just brought

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Twitter. You want to rebrand it? X. The best thing you can come up with. What does the

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X mean? I really don't know. It's like how, obviously when you used to tweet at someone

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or tweet someone, like what are you calling it now? I've just X'd up. I've just sent

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someone a message on X. I don't know what the term is. I'm sure people... You tweeted

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that. Obviously it was a picture of a bird because tweeters, people that watch birds,

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don't mind saying that. Birds tweet. See, here you go. But then X. I don't know. Another

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strange one. Just pointing out there. Yeah. What's your thoughts? I'm sure... But why

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X and not like? Oh. Yeah. P. I suppose X is the easiest one to do with your arms. It's

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easier than doing a V. It's awkward, isn't it? All the YMCI's? Yeah. I don't know. Just

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the way it just came to me there. I just... I wonder, cause he's... Spice. Oh, Spice X

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in his... Yeah. There we go. There we go. We got there. What does the X mean in Spice

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X, mate? Expert on the matter. I was going to say, because his kids got that mad name

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and I was thinking about that stuff because of the first letter of E or something. Could

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be. Could be. But yeah, that makes perfect sense. Spice X. Yeah. There we go. So yeah,

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come to us with more mysteries. If you've got a problem you can't solve, send us an

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X. Send it through the Spice. Or you can always just comment on one of the videos on YouTube.

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It's real talking pod. So firstly, Mike Jones. Mike Jones. On Josieboy, he's emailed straight

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back. We've... Oh, he's actually got a story for us now. Right. I've literally not read

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any of these emails. Because we thought he would have some great stories. I'm sure he's

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got a lot. Yeah. Just wet the whistle first quickly. Aww. Right. So, HollyLads. Hi, Mike.

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So, the funniest thing I've saw was involved in this one man that's been in and out for

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years. Everyone knows him, thinks he's hard as nails and can pull every woman in sights.

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So he thinks he's a top shot guy. Always has new bragging stories when he's had a few weeks

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of freedom all about the fun he's had. So anyway, there was a new bunch of lads turning

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up for a stint. So as usual, they get a bit of stick. But this pratt said something to

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the wrong person and instantly the new man had his hand around his throat, kissed him

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on the cheek and says, I'll see you in a shower later, we man. Just a serf to Donald,

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too. That is, that's proper just fucking... Just like literally. He might as well have

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just got his dick out and slapped around the face with that. Fucking hell. I'll take

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you to Scottish as well. See you in a shower later, we man. We man. Professionally, we

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did our job and moved them out. But we all spent hours watching back the footage of this

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night, Lucy's head. And he was never the same while his new friend was in prison. Fucking

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respect for that. I fucking love that one. No, that was funny. I can imagine there's

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loads that he probably couldn't say as well, that he couldn't tell us. Well, I imagine

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he's just sent one because he doesn't want to send... Just to taste that. Yeah, just

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to taste that. Yeah, he doesn't want to send old paragraphs, paragraphs. Leave us wanting

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more. Yeah. And plus, you know, I suppose we could probably do a whole episode of stories

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from Mikey Jones. Mike Jones, yeah. Mate, I love that word to be fair. Yeah, no, thank

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you. Just imagine it. He's one of the proper dickheads that fucking... He's just bowling

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around in fucking prison thinking he's the fuck... I bet he's like a skinny little prick

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as well. Like he's only got abs because he's skinny. Yeah, and just smokes weed. Yeah.

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I bet he's got his PlayStation in his room and that as well, I know. Fucking prick. Yeah.

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Oh God. I know it's a bit of a stretch, but if you could send us that footage. Fucking

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hard. Unless you said we was allowed to, we wouldn't put it on the fucking pipe, but I'd

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love to fucking see that. You could just imagine it going, yeah, fucking just... And round

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his throat. See you there, wee man. Fucking prick. Oh God. Mate, anyway... Yeah, great

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story. Yeah, if you've got any more, you can share with us and that. And definitely if

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you can send us that fucking CCTV. Fucking love that one. Yeah, it'd be great. Right,

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and then we've got another one here. Oh, this is interesting. So from Lauren, hi Ash and

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JD. Describe each other's perfect 24 hours. So it would be me saying what your perfect

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24 hours would be. Anywhere, right? Okay. So it seems like you've got a bit of thinking

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today. No. No, you say, if you already know more and you go ahead, it's just as it be.

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Where... Yeah, but you go ahead. So for you, what I would think is, you go up in the morning,

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it's early, but not like stupidly early. So say you're getting up at 6 o'clock, not that

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you want to be up that early, you are, because you're about to go on out of that. You fucking...

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For whatever reason, you're taking the dog as well. There's no issue with you. He can

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just get on the plane, got his own seat sorted and whatever. So it's the whole family going

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to the airport, going abroad, short flights as well, going off to a nice country. So you're

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at the airport, no queuing, you're just walking straight in, straight on the plane, straight

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across. And then it's not 10 o'clock, you get in after the plane, you're there. You've already

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had breakfast at the airport as well. Big scram. All the fucking scram. And then no

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hassle, getting checked in, into the hotel, bags in, having a recce around. And then out

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of the blue, you see that on sale, there's a fucking Kanye West, Jay-Z, one night only

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show of the, what's it going to say? Game of Thrones. It wasn't Game of Thrones, was it?

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Watch the Thrones. Watch the Thrones, fucking concert. That's fucking on. And someone's

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just give you two tickets. There you go mate. So you and the missus go, that's later on

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the night daddy's, that's about 7 o'clock on the night. So throughout the day, just

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doing holiday stuff, you go in having a couple of beers, food, walking around with the dog

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and that. And then yeah, you have a nice night at the concert, back home, well back to the

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hotel. I'd say that would be a pretty perfect day for you.

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See, once it's perfect day, I was like, I didn't understand if it was like a perfect,

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you know like.

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Realistic.

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Yeah, yeah, yeah, if that makes sense.

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Alright, so if it's a realistic day.

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Yeah, let's go with the realistic one.

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Alright.

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Or do you want me to do both? We'll just do both.

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Right.

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We'll just do both, cover all the angles.

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Well I'll do the realistic one before you go in. So, similar really, it's like a Saturday

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or a Sunday, so you've got no work to do, you've got literally no plans for the weekend,

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you don't need to do anything. It's anything that you want to do that day. So, weather's

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nice, it's warm, not hot. So you can walk around with shorts and t-shirt and you're

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not going to be cold, it's just the perfect temperature. So look, for you, that's a good

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20 to 22.

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Yeah.

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So, you can walk around where you're not walking around sweating. Me, I'm already drenched

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at that temperature. But yeah, it's comfortable for you. Taking a dog out for a walk or whatever

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parks and that. Get back, have a little bit of a breakfast, whether you pick it up on

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the way back home or you order a McDonald's breakfast or something. Then, a couple of

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hours watching Pokemon. Have a take away and watch some films on the north.

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Pretty much, yeah. No, I'd say that's pretty much bang on.

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Yeah.

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Yeah. Pretty simple really. It's a dog walk. For me, I consider like, there's nothing

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more on a weekend than a like. Not early, but early in the morning.

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Yeah, decent hours.

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So you've been in all the traffic, get the dog out.

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And there's not a load of people there as well.

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Get a coffee. Now a walk. Talk about stuff and then solve all your problems and just

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go back out. But yeah, that's pretty much it. But for me, really, thanks for you. I

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would say to me, get up early. Not early, but obviously you just get up early.

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Well, to be fair.

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You just used to it.

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Yeah, because even when I've got nothing to do, a day off or whatever, my body's still

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waking up at about four, half four in the morning. So I am still going to be getting

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up around that time.

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See, and here's the thing. So a nice, nice big straw for you. No work, obviously. No

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work. No graph.

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Yeah. No jobs to close or anything.

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That's it. Just, that's it. Phone solar.

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Yeah.

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I can imagine, I don't know if you'd rather cook your own breakfast or maybe get something

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in. So maybe I'm a bit, you get food, maybe cookie, maybe order it in. And then, you know,

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you chill out, 12 o'clock, few beers, money on it.

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Yeah.

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It obviously realistically, they do not.

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Not gonna work.

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Yeah, but you know what I mean.

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Yeah, I did. It's the perfect night to get good results.

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Good result. You had a few beers and then here's the thing. You cook, you cook a scram.

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But it's like, I don't know. Cause you do, you do cook quite a bit, don't you? So it's

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hard to.

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Yeah.

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So you, I don't know actually. Have you done the pizza breads the other week than yours

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bar?

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Yeah. Yeah. I cook my own pizzas and steak notes.

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Yeah. So you, then you cook like your own meal of choice and then down to the pub.

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That would have been years ago. Definitely go into the pub at the end of the day. But

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barely go night. You know, it's fucking, it seems a bit sad really. We've got older and

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fucking, this is a perfect day for us. Both starting off, walking the dog. I mean, to

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be fair, yeah, on a Saturday or a Sunday, I've not got nothing else to do. I take the

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dog up, so it's like a normal walk, round trip and that. So I'm out for about three

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hours. And so then that's the difference, whether it's a Saturday or a Sunday, Sunday,

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I'm definitely fucking, because I do my roast dinner on a Sunday. Saturday, I would probably

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do breakfast for myself, but then have a takeaway on the night time.

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Right.

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That's more like a, instead of a takeaway on a Sunday. Just cause of roast dinner, always

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gonna have a roast dinner on a Sunday. And again, yeah, you know, we divided the prem

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fixtures are all the time. You've got Friday, Saturday, Sunday on Monday, fucking games

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and having, yeah. So.

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That is a good question actually, because it's like, you know, you think about all your

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perfect days, you know, would it be something realistic like, cause ridiculously I'd get

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up, go gym and not be tired.

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Yeah.

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Then go take the dog down the floor.

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Win the lottery.

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Yeah, yeah. Then, you know, yeah, win the lottery, go bookies, win everything in the

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bookies. Yeah. You know, but yeah, I feel like for a generic day that would be, as we

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just described, each other's perfect, you know, generic day I'd say.

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Yeah, yeah.

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I mean, that's, that's what I'll be doing. Cause going away for a couple of days and

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a couple of weeks. And that's what I'll be doing pretty much every day. I'll be getting

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up, nothing special, just a little caravan for a couple of days. And yeah, so I'll be

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getting up, go for a stroll along the beach with a dog, get back, have myself a cup of

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the teas, a couple of cups of tea. Probably have like bacon and egg, sausage and egg sandwich,

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whatever. And then again, throughout the day, while there's nothing to do, cause it's during

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the week, there's nothing to be watching on the TV. Yeah. Just go out for walks and that

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and have a couple of beers.

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It is mad, isn't it? Cause as you just said, you know, when we was younger, you wouldn't

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really thought you'd be in this mindset.

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Well, no, it wouldn't. Years ago, especially with the way, man, fucking, that donut was.

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It would be just drinking all day long.

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Yeah, all day. And when they say all day, I mean, you wake up, you literally.

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It was, it was stupid.

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As soon as one of us woke up, we'd wake the other one up, we would be out. And I don't

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know how we used to do it.

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I don't know how he used to do it. I don't know how he's still doing it.

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But, uh.

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Squaddle if any, fucking hell.

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But now, yeah, it's just, um, it is weird. But I do enjoy a dog walk. I do find it the

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most peaceful.

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It's nice any.

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Peaceful time of the week for me. Like a long dog walk where you can, you drive. So you,

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no, like, no, nothing around the block where you drive.

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Yeah, well, obviously where I go for the big walk.

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Yeah, you don't have to.

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I carry dog.

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Yeah, yeah, yeah.

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But I can cut through the farm and that near mine. So yeah, that's what it ends up being

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around about a normal walk.

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I feel now with me, I want my dog to come with me everywhere. So like, if it was to

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do stuff, I always think first, I think where can Alfie come with me?

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Yeah.

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It's the main thing I would do. Like, you know, obviously not just Shearer at the moment,

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but when it was Manny as well. When it comes to holidays, it would be, you know, like Yarmouth,

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Skagness and whatever. Because it's somewhere you can take the dog and you've got the beach,

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the walk on or, you know, if you go into like the Lake District or whatever, you've got

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dog walking routes.

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And this is where when I see Auntie Tuck, I think in some airlines in America, if your

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dog's under a certain height or weight, they can come on the plane with you and come as

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a carry on luggage. If you find, obviously in the States and other states.

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Yeah, there is some that you can buy a seat for them as well.

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Yeah.

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I think I saw a plane Sear video, I believe it was a great day and your man got three

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seats. So he was on the one and the great day was on the... the dog was definitely on

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two seats anyway.

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Yeah. I think that'd be cool though, when he's jumping on a plane Sear and the dog...

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Well, like that's... when we go away abroad and we leave the dog, Alfie, with my mom,

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I always, every morning I'm like, is Alfie all right?

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Yeah, yeah. I know.

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I call them pup dates.

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Yeah, but they are no any, you know, it's... the dogs have just got the kids for us.

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You know, it's... yeah, I do want a couple more dogs to be fair, but it's a lot of fucking

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time and effort that you need to put in with them.

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What would you have?

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If I had a bigger house, I'd have fucking another Malamute to be fair. But I've always,

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with the way the shearer is, I could have literally any dog, it'd be fine. Even this

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morning when I was walking, so obviously when I'm up at four in the morning, take him out

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for a walk, because I try and give him about an hour before I go to work. So the morning's

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getting a bit darker now, so I'm fucking walking along, just about seen really, and he's fucking

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started running forward, and I've clocked, it's a cat that's standing there, and he's

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just ran off. It's because he wants to sail up, and this cat, wow, bless him, looking,

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the cat swung up to his face and then just ran off, and he just stood there, just all

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confused, like, what's going on? I'm trying to sail up, and the cat's just full on like

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whack, ran, I was like, come on mate, don't worry about it, fuck you know. Yeah, it's

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just such a fucking soft thing, all these other cats and that, because there's one woman

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around the corner from me, as I go around onto the park, I'm not saying that she is,

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but she's like the crazy cat later, and she'll take her dog for a walk, and all the cats

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follow her, and there's like about eight of them, and literally they're just walking along

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with her, and so obviously mine being fucking as friendly as he is, he tries to sail up,

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and all of them just hissing him and everything, because well, you live with a dog, and you

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don't interact with another dog, strange, but I suppose it's just because he literally

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does look like a wolf, it's them thinking, you know, no, scary, it's not a fuck of a

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way. I assume anyway, I don't know, fucking, cats are just shit, you know, let us know

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if you're a cat or a dog person, because if you're a cat, you're shit. Thank you for that

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question, Laura. Yeah, yeah, appreciate it. Honestly, we sound pretty boring now. Yeah.

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I was thinking, literally, I was just thinking like, oh, maybe I need a hobbit. So what would

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be the unrealistic one for me then? Oh shit, yeah. What would you say for me then? So unrealistic,

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but still within the bounds of fucking, because obviously, we would fucking have the winning

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euros ticket of 100 million or whatever. Okay, okay. So get up, dog walk obviously. Yeah.

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Then you get some food, but then we go out, not too heavy, few beers. So we're looking

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at around midday. Yeah. We watched a football, Warrington football, carry on. Then, hmm,

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it is where, see, I'm thinking then we could go and watch some of your comedians, your

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favorite comedians back to back. Cause I know you like, I keep forgetting their names. Well,

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there's a lot obviously. Yeah, yeah. We went and saw Tom Sikora, I took him on the go.

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There's Bert Kreischer, Adam Roe. That's the one I was thinking of. Yeah, Dan Nightingale,

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Jamie Hutchinson, there's fucking loads. Yeah. There's a good comedy club, a good comedy

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night. Yeah, sitting front row. Yeah, front row so you get heckled. Yeah. Cause I would

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love someone to heckle you. I think that'd be a great, I think we've missed a trip there

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not pulling you front row of every like comedians show we've had. I know we wanted to before,

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didn't we? But I think we got in a little bit too late so we couldn't get right to the

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front. The beard and the hair is like really tough. Especially these days. And I know you're

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willing enough to say something on the spot. So actually that'd be a part of my day. We

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sit front row, JD gets heckled and heckles back. Yeah. Cause I wouldn't start anything.

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Literally, but like, so the top comedian that would start to talk to us is not Paul Smith.

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So he's a skater. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He does speak a lot, doesn't he? Yeah, he picks out

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people in the audience. So yeah, as you say, with the hair and the beards, it'd be like

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fucking hell, look at you kids. And then I'd be like, yeah, so I'm fucking. And so once

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he'd start giving me stuff, then I'd just bring back. So yeah, otherwise I'm not going

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to be one of them dickheads that fucking, when the drunkenness starts saying, oh, when's

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the comedy start? Oh, fucking hell. God, if you're going to be one of them dickheads,

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don't go to him. I'll get it if it's not a new comedy or it's, it's everyone's got

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an amateur and the fucking the real struggling. Yeah. Give them a bit of stick. But when it's

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professionals on that Jimmy Carr special and fucking. Oh, so it's a little sweet. Yeah.

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It's like this man writes all his own stuff and he's got such a dark sense of humor. You

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think you're going to fucking be able to banter him? No chance. No. Yeah. So something like

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that. Yeah. I know you don't like the heat too much. No. So maybe that that's selling

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what I've just said, but maybe I'll maybe a different location. So it'd be like, cause

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you just said you are going away. So not in your hometown. Yeah. Well, to be fair, even

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though it's not my hometown, but to be honest these days, Coventry has got a hot water comedy

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club, which I suppose knows as good as Tom as ever. I do want to book us some tickets

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for soon. I have been looking every now and again, I'm just waiting for someone that I

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actually know to come on and so we can book and go and see him. But yeah, I've always,

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you know, as long as it's not too hot. I mean today, over these last couple of days and

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over this weekend, we are having a bit of a mini heat wave. I don't know if you've noticed

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on your car, but have you seen like, as if look, there's been like a dusty rain on there.

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Oh, I've seen it on Reddit. That's some people are, yeah. I've actually seen it on a couple

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of cars. So it was on the wife's car. You can't see it on the van. Do you know what it is?

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Yeah. It's from the fucking, because of the African heat wave, the Sahara heat wave. So

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it's essentially sand that's come over with it, hasn't it? And so yeah, the same don't

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scrub your car, rinse it before doing anything, cause otherwise it'll scratch. You know, also

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that Sahara desert sand has an important, so that goes all the way to Amazon rainforest.

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Now I don't know if it's important, but that going all the way there is an important feature

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for the rainforest for some reason. I can't remember that, sorry, I'm sorry. But I always

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remember being fascinated that that travels all the way around the world and goes there

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to the place that needs it. Yeah. And it's just, yeah. Cause there's all them jet streams

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in the air, right? I don't know what the speeds are, but that's wind turbines essentially

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just, you know, just randomly around the fucking orbit. Yeah. It's not even with the equator,

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the, it's something like a thousand mile an hour, the winds can hit around the equator,

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you know, to the flat earthers out there, that won't be real. I saw another one the

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other day, God's sake, these flat earthers. So they've got essentially it's like a glass

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ball, but it's cut in half. So they've made this dome of a ball themselves out of like

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a fucking resin or something. And because they haven't cured it properly. So I don't

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know if you've ever seen any of these videos where they're making the resin tabletops and

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stuff. So it's, it's, it's, it's just like a liquid plastic essentially. Once it's set,

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you can work with it off wood, but when you pour it, it has little air pockets in. So

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you meant to have like an air, an air, a blowtorch just to heat it up and it gets the air out.

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Right. So anyway, they've made this little fucking half a ball and it's full of air pockets

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like you can see them. And so they're trying to say that those air pockets are what are

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in this firmament, the fucking dome that's covering the flat earth. So they've had no

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stars, it's air pockets. And then they're holding a torch over it and they're like,

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yeah, how you can see that little dot there, that's the moon. And then the bigger dot on

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the other side, that's the fucking sun. And it's like, no, because if you shine a torch

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on a fucking prison, you see the rainbow. So is that how the fucking rainbows are made?

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We've got prisms up in the fucking firmaments as well. It's just the fucking things that

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these people come out with. Well, the main thing I've never heard any of these idiots

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fucking say is why, why, why have all the fucking governments, people in power, NASA,

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even Elon and that nav as well with his fucking SpaceX, why would they have to lie? There's

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no reason for it. Yeah. What beneficial was there to lie about it? Yeah, I just don't

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see. And then it goes down the rabbit hole of the ice wall is just stopping, it's separating

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us from other lands, other islands and whatever. And I saw this one Egypt, Jesus Christ, he's

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fucking, he's like, said there's like Asgardia, Asgard and fucking this and that Lord, fucking

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mythology, Lord, what you're seeing in fucking the Bible and fucking all sorts of different

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things. You know, I reckon fucking Narnia was one of the islands, but he's like, yeah,

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so all the dragons are there. And the reason why they don't come over the ice wall no more

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is because of the, the free G four G and four G signals. And so we've had fucking mobile

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signals for like 20 years. Why, why did the dragon stop coming? Yeah. Where was that in

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the seventies? Yeah. No, you know, what, what stopped them coming to them? So I was the

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radiation because of the electric and this and that's not no fucking. I mean, I believe

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this, I only since the, what this man just said for the first time, I'd be like, yeah,

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it's being some truth. It's being real though. I'd love for it to actually be fucking true

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that there's other unexplored, like areas, islands, worlds, whatever the fucking going

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to be classed as past the ice wall. But it just isn't like it's, it's, it's the earth.

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It's not a perfect sphere, you know, but it's a fucking globe. You know, it's just stupid.

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Yeah. There's fake NASA videos. You know, you see, you see them and up there. They're

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fucking, you can see that the strings are holding them up as they're doing their flips

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and whatever. And there's one, he's got like a deck of cards and then he drops to the floor

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and fucking whatever. Oh yeah. The fake and a lot of the shit, but that's just them doing

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it just to be dickheads for you though. Because you're asking for proof that they can't give

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to the trying to make things. Did you see the fucking any of the footage of the Indian

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crap lot of space crap landed on the moon? Oh Jesus Christ. The actual footage of it

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because it shows them in their log like space center. Yeah. Like Houston. Yeah. So it shows

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them in there and they're all fucking off. Oh, it's getting there. It's getting there.

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What was the rocket called? I don't know. Cause you know like the like Houston, like

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New Delhi and was he like Indian national wants as well on it was just like, yeah, man

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on mancraft. So I'm sure there was fucking, I'm sure there was people on there. They're

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definitely fucking taking pictures in that anyway. This would be the first moon landing

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for years. Wouldn't it? Cause Russia attempted it. Yeah. So ISRO, Indian space research

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organization. So September the second launched the ambitious Aditya Alwansodamissha. That's

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not the one though. It's been there for a couple of weeks. How was that? So Chandrayan

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Bray. Well, while I'm fucking, I've got it on my phone for you. I'll just see if I can

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write. Sorry for everyone that's listening. You can Google it yourself. If I can, I will

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put it on the fucking video. So you're showing this space caps and that. Yes. So what's landed

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on the moon? It's just not covered in gold, even though it's not, but the actual footage

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of it as it landed, it just looked like an old, like PlayStation one game that's landed

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down onto the fucking moon. And it was just so comical because they're all standing there.

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I've got the video. I've got the video. Well, I'm going to try and put it on the video.

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Look, for the YouTube listeners, that is. Oh, the fucking cookies. Right. Well, but yeah,

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you fucking describe what you see as you're looking at this. No, it looks, you know what

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it looks like to me. If anyone's ever played Kingdom Hearts and you jump on the gummy ship

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in between worlds, that's what it looks like to me. This, no, that, no, no. No, it's definitely

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going to be a lot easier for people to just google it and watch it themselves if they

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haven't already. But I am going to try and overlap it. At least a couple of pictures

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or something I'll try and put on the YouTube. But it literally is just, it's not cartoon

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style, but it's poor fucking old school, look, a good 15, 20 years old of like, well, even

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longer than that, really, if you think fucking films when we were kids, it does look like

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a PlayStation. It looks like the Shukrin Derby. If it was a spacecraft, yeah, fucking car

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is what I used to love. I did actually, when the side of releasing some of the old games

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on the PS4, probably about six years ago or something, did actually download that on the

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cost me like four pounds. I remember just playing it for days and days. Look, there's

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no concept to it other than just drawing it, smash and fucking try and survive yourself.

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It fucking was, man. Yeah, check that out. It looks like, let us know what you think.

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It looks terrible. It does. And there has been a lot of TikTok videos because there

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was one where it was like what the Indian astronaut looks like walking on the moon.

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And so your man is there in a fucking astronaut costume and he's doing all the slow walk and

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that. And you can see he's not on the moon. And at first, because you think fucking out,

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like it is, because it's all dark and that. But as soon as you see him start walking,

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it's like, all right. And then it's like, you think, well, hang on, where's that coming

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from? Next thing the car drives past. And so he's walking on the gravel fucking roads

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in India or something. Fucking out. It is funny. There's been a couple of them like

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that. But yeah, it's just, it just. If anyone wants to say that it's fake, they just need

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to look at India's footage. Yeah. There's a bit of deception there. Yeah. And then

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with that landing that had happened, there was a lot of controversy. So again, I don't

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know if it was GMB news or GBN news or whatever. But one of these news programmes, the one

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presenter, he says, if they can afford their own space exploration programme, then they

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should return the money that we gave for India aid, I don't know, 12 years ago, whatever

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it was, because there was a nationwide emergency. So as the UK do with everyone, they'll fucking

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send one in. And then it was all because of that and the other social influences as what

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the woman fucking says, there was an Indian reporter that fucking blasted about that then

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saying, well, what about the fucking four trillion pounds worth of fucking, because

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of how we obviously, well, not we personally, but you know, history, the ancestors. Yeah.

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Britain obviously took over the whole world essentially at one point. So, you know, it's

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all the fucking resources and whatever the talk from there and fucking this and that.

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I was looking at it, I was thinking, all right, it's not tit for tat. Fucking you got a space

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programme. It doesn't fucking matter. You're on the moon, allegedly. Yeah. So if anyone

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is going to doubt it, don't fucking look at India's footage. It's just shit. Yeah. It's

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00:35:17,000 --> 00:35:24,000
what we do. Just being real, mate. Yeah. So yeah, Lauren, thanks for that question. Yeah,

393
00:35:24,000 --> 00:35:30,000
thank you for that. Really appreciate that. So we've got little Kirsty back again now

394
00:35:30,000 --> 00:35:38,000
as well. She has asked, if you had a time machine and could go back, could go back and

395
00:35:38,000 --> 00:35:45,000
shag anyone with no consequences, who would you choose? P.S. Tom for that story, J.J.

396
00:35:45,000 --> 00:35:55,000
I'll keep it back now. We'll get to that, Kirsty. We'll get to it. Time machine. Hmm.

397
00:35:55,000 --> 00:36:01,000
I mean, there's a lot that you could choose from really. I mean, I'd love to see what

398
00:36:01,000 --> 00:36:09,000
Marilyn Monroe was like in real person because you'd only ever seen, essentially, little

399
00:36:09,000 --> 00:36:14,000
bits on TV because obviously she was well before our time. Apparently she was sleeping

400
00:36:14,000 --> 00:36:20,000
with the president, John F. Kennedy and his brother, Bobby Kennedy, at the same time,

401
00:36:20,000 --> 00:36:27,000
which is a bit weird. That's not her brother's. Yeah, it's still weird though, isn't it? If

402
00:36:27,000 --> 00:36:32,000
you know your brother's, if your brother's doing it with some girl, you're going to jump

403
00:36:32,000 --> 00:36:35,000
on it. I ain't going to jump on it. No, that's what I'm saying. Because why wouldn't you

404
00:36:35,000 --> 00:36:38,000
jump on it? Because it's weird on your brother's. So I'm not a bad from her point of view, but

405
00:36:38,000 --> 00:36:43,000
I'm just saying like. She was just building up that vibe. Just a bit weird though. Maybe

406
00:36:43,000 --> 00:36:49,000
mad though. Yeah. I'm just trying to think of fucking women from the past really. I have

407
00:36:49,000 --> 00:37:00,000
to admit, I don't find people on the TV. And I've said this. I don't look at them and think

408
00:37:00,000 --> 00:37:08,000
that way. It's because a lot of them, they aren't real. The eyes don't make them. But

409
00:37:08,000 --> 00:37:16,000
a lot of the actresses, it's the fucking, the face filler, the lip filler, the boob

410
00:37:16,000 --> 00:37:23,000
drops and all that. I'm not much of a fucking fake. So you know when you watch Love Island

411
00:37:23,000 --> 00:37:31,000
though? I don't watch Love Island. No. But look, it's just a flow. Yeah. Yeah, a lot

412
00:37:31,000 --> 00:37:36,000
of them. So yeah, Pamela Hamilton wouldn't have gone back and done her in the prime.

413
00:37:36,000 --> 00:37:43,000
Not saying she's passed it now, but never was more cup of tea. But also, I saw it now.

414
00:37:43,000 --> 00:37:50,000
I love how everyone wants to know about this story, don't they? Which one? To be fair,

415
00:37:50,000 --> 00:37:57,000
yeah, I've still got a good couple more. I know which one I've been teasing for weeks

416
00:37:57,000 --> 00:38:08,000
though, to be fair. I'm just struggling on who to go back for really. Yeah, I mean growing

417
00:38:08,000 --> 00:38:14,000
up, me and Jadie used to have this thing. When I used to stop over Jadie's, obviously

418
00:38:14,000 --> 00:38:20,000
I'd start up a play, whatever. And then that's when I used to go on. We used to end up going

419
00:38:20,000 --> 00:38:25,000
to sleep. Jadie used to be on the top bunk. I used to go up on the bottom bunk. And then

420
00:38:25,000 --> 00:38:30,000
obviously we used to talk about, I don't know, girls used to fancy and score. Remember that?

421
00:38:30,000 --> 00:38:36,000
Yeah, it was pretty much every week. Every week we used to do it. And it was always the

422
00:38:36,000 --> 00:38:43,000
same collection of girls really. Do you remember we had the conversation a fair while ago now

423
00:38:43,000 --> 00:38:48,000
or could you imagine how, well, because a few of them would know what they're like now

424
00:38:48,000 --> 00:38:53,000
that we would have happily done things within school and it's all, I wouldn't touch them

425
00:38:53,000 --> 00:39:00,000
now. There was a couple that weren't on the list that would be on the list now. Yeah,

426
00:39:00,000 --> 00:39:08,000
mad days. I don't know if it would have been anyone from school if it was to go, well,

427
00:39:08,000 --> 00:39:16,000
actually yeah, there would have been one that I would have been happy to go back with. Can

428
00:39:16,000 --> 00:39:21,000
you really say that about your blog? Because that's how you fought and fought in school

429
00:39:21,000 --> 00:39:35,000
and you can't really do it about school days in Kenya. I'm not a nuns. Someone who was,

430
00:39:35,000 --> 00:39:45,000
I mean, I haven't seen what she looks like now, but the mother from Back to the Future,

431
00:39:45,000 --> 00:39:53,000
she was a fucking darling. I've never watched Back to the Future. How can you never watch

432
00:39:53,000 --> 00:39:59,000
Back to the Future? Oh my fucking God. Let me tell you a little story. Tell me a little

433
00:39:59,000 --> 00:40:08,000
story. I watched Armageddon last week for the first time and I also watched Volcano last

434
00:40:08,000 --> 00:40:17,000
week for the first time. Volcano? Yeah. And what I found out about these early 90s movies

435
00:40:17,000 --> 00:40:27,000
or mid 90s that everything goes wrong, but it still works. So Armageddon, one of the

436
00:40:27,000 --> 00:40:31,000
shuttles- Was Armageddon the one with Bruce Willis? Yeah, one of the shuttles crashed

437
00:40:31,000 --> 00:40:37,000
and then half of them survived there and then everything goes wrong, but it still happened.

438
00:40:37,000 --> 00:40:43,000
Like, they're still getting done. What always made me laugh about Armageddon was like, boy,

439
00:40:43,000 --> 00:40:49,000
why wasn't it easier to teach astronauts how to be good? Why did they have to teach fucking

440
00:40:49,000 --> 00:40:54,000
holdigers how to fucking be astronauts? And when Bruce Willis is chasing Ben Affleck at

441
00:40:54,000 --> 00:40:57,000
the beginning when he finds out he's sleeping with his daughter, he's actually trying to

442
00:40:57,000 --> 00:41:02,000
kill him. Like, they want to be part of it. Well, you just try to kill him. Like, literally,

443
00:41:02,000 --> 00:41:09,000
everything that could go wrong went wrong, but it was still successful in terms of the

444
00:41:09,000 --> 00:41:15,000
objective was complete. Yeah. And Volcano, Volcano, mate, let me tell you about this

445
00:41:15,000 --> 00:41:24,000
scene. I was like, fuck off. So, humanity is you one from Men in Black. But, er, fucking

446
00:41:24,000 --> 00:41:33,000
hell. He was like, he was like Will Smith's character's, er, gender, I don't know how

447
00:41:33,000 --> 00:41:40,000
to, er, is he ageing B or age? No, it's M, wasn't it? M, whatever. I've just got Robert

448
00:41:40,000 --> 00:41:45,000
De Niro in my head, but it's not him. No, it's Mickey, so Mickey and Lee or something,

449
00:41:45,000 --> 00:41:50,000
Lee Thomas or something. Anyway, Tommy Lee Jones. Tommy Lee Jones, that's it. He was

450
00:41:50,000 --> 00:41:54,000
a good looking man when he was younger as well. I know that's just gone off for another time

451
00:41:54,000 --> 00:41:58,000
as well, but I remember seeing fucking one of them TikToks and he shows them from when

452
00:41:58,000 --> 00:42:02,000
the first started the career and going through the years and fucking out. He was a good looking

453
00:42:02,000 --> 00:42:07,000
man when he was young. Fucking. Because he's in a good movie called Fugitive, bad boy movie.

454
00:42:07,000 --> 00:42:13,000
Yeah. But also, can we just get a little shout out to Con Air? Because at least, Con Air

455
00:42:13,000 --> 00:42:17,000
is a fucking great movie. You know what? I've only watched it once. Right. And that was

456
00:42:17,000 --> 00:42:21,000
when I was younger, so I can't even say if I enjoyed it or not. Honestly, get it on.

457
00:42:21,000 --> 00:42:28,000
I'll get it on. It's a man film, if you can call it stuff that nowadays. Anyway. Proper

458
00:42:28,000 --> 00:42:34,000
man film or man film or top one? Oh, no, that's a bit sus film. Sorry, I'm going off on a

459
00:42:34,000 --> 00:42:46,000
tangent again now. Fucking. Look at the question sheet. Fucking. So look, my brother and his

460
00:42:46,000 --> 00:42:52,000
mates, the large things that we was at, there was a lake there, but there was a bit of a

461
00:42:52,000 --> 00:42:57,000
manmade beach and so there was a little swimming pool for the kids with a slide and stuffy.

462
00:42:57,000 --> 00:43:01,000
But there was one section of the sand that had a volleyball court. Fucking, I remember

463
00:43:01,000 --> 00:43:06,000
as soon as I saw that, I was like, how much you want to bet that Nathan, his gay boy mates

464
00:43:06,000 --> 00:43:11,000
are going to fucking mabrick it up? Yeah. Fucking half an hour after the fucking bags were in

465
00:43:11,000 --> 00:43:17,000
the room, they were out there in the shorts, tops off, sunglasses on with a fucking ball

466
00:43:17,000 --> 00:43:26,000
playing volleyball. I've walked past and I was like, how are we to the danger zone? Fucking

467
00:43:26,000 --> 00:43:29,000
not even got the reference. No, well, they wouldn't would they? Well, they're only two

468
00:43:29,000 --> 00:43:33,000
years younger than us, so they should have done, but they're not men, not proper men.

469
00:43:33,000 --> 00:43:42,000
Top gun men. Wait, Lil' Sire though, have you ever played volleyball? Not going to know

470
00:43:42,000 --> 00:43:48,000
often, probably people who are in school. You know, like, hey, you have people that can

471
00:43:48,000 --> 00:43:54,000
just join a crowd and like, hey, so whenever I've been, I've never played it. I've seen

472
00:43:54,000 --> 00:43:58,000
people play and they've asked me to play it and I want to play it, but I don't know how

473
00:43:58,000 --> 00:44:03,000
to play it. And also, I don't want to be that rubbish guy on the team. What is it? It's

474
00:44:03,000 --> 00:44:09,000
essentially the same as Pairs in Badminton. Yeah, but you have like four people, four

475
00:44:09,000 --> 00:44:13,000
of us all. Yeah, yeah, you can have a few of us. So I know the one in the corner is supposed

476
00:44:13,000 --> 00:44:16,000
to serve it to the other corner. Yeah, you've got to spot it. And then you only can touch

477
00:44:16,000 --> 00:44:23,000
it once in one go. So you can only touch it. Yeah, so all it can pass to you, you can lay

478
00:44:23,000 --> 00:44:28,000
it off and then it'll fucking whack it back down again. So it just, I've never, obviously

479
00:44:28,000 --> 00:44:34,000
it's not something you can plan your own. So yeah, I've always wanted to try, but I've

480
00:44:34,000 --> 00:44:40,000
always been scared to be that rubbish guy. Well, maybe one day we'll do it together.

481
00:44:40,000 --> 00:44:47,000
Fugitive will try and work our way back again. No, sorry, no, volcano. Volcano. So there's

482
00:44:47,000 --> 00:44:54,000
a scene where they have to blow up a building to stop the lava or magma coming through.

483
00:44:54,000 --> 00:45:01,000
Yeah, not a lava. But then anyway, he sees his daughter that he sent with the nurse to

484
00:45:01,000 --> 00:45:06,000
the doc, with the doc, to the nurse doc, I don't know. And then the, then the nurse and

485
00:45:06,000 --> 00:45:10,000
doctor said, you've got to look after this kid. So she takes her eyes off the kid for

486
00:45:10,000 --> 00:45:14,000
one second. Anyway, the kid's walking out, well, it's the point where they're blowing

487
00:45:14,000 --> 00:45:20,000
up this building, obviously. And then he sees them from about a foot, he looks like on the

488
00:45:20,000 --> 00:45:27,000
floor, 400 yards away. And she's just there like, then he, instead of just, instead of

489
00:45:27,000 --> 00:45:34,000
her just grabbing the kid and running, he runs from 400 yards away. Honestly, it's just

490
00:45:34,000 --> 00:45:41,000
like, it was, it was, it's like everything went wrong, but it still worked. Also twist

491
00:45:41,000 --> 00:45:49,000
that great film. I mean, it was okay. It's, it's just that stereotypical fucking world's

492
00:45:49,000 --> 00:45:54,000
going to end, so I don't know, isn't it? Have you ever seen one of those actual tornado

493
00:45:54,000 --> 00:46:01,000
hunters on Tik Tok? Not on Tik Tok. I remember watching the programme. Yeah. My partner,

494
00:46:01,000 --> 00:46:08,000
she watches her, like, just straight to it. Yeah. Driving after her. But while it's still

495
00:46:08,000 --> 00:46:16,000
on my head. So the actor from Last Man on Earth, he was also, remember in How I Make

496
00:46:16,000 --> 00:46:21,000
Him Mother, when Barney had his wingman from work, that every time he got a burn, he had

497
00:46:21,000 --> 00:46:29,000
a nosebleed. Oh, vaguely, vaguely that answer. So if you saw his face, you'd know him. Right.

498
00:46:29,000 --> 00:46:37,000
Funny comedy actor. He did like a little sketch show on, I think it was, not exactly not live,

499
00:46:37,000 --> 00:46:44,000
however it was, where fucking, Will Ferrell and all that used to do fucking comedy sketches.

500
00:46:44,000 --> 00:46:52,000
But I saw a fucking video the other day where he's doing a piss take of these men films.

501
00:46:52,000 --> 00:46:58,000
And so it starts off, he goes fucking into like a gym, like a boxing gym or something.

502
00:46:58,000 --> 00:47:03,000
Chris Jericho goes up to him. He's like, oh yeah, the good times we had bro, that rare,

503
00:47:03,000 --> 00:47:08,000
when I'm setting up a team, I've got something to do. He's like, I'm there. And so he fucking

504
00:47:08,000 --> 00:47:12,000
starts going around, all the WWE wrestlers. So he's got like Mark Henry, fucking this

505
00:47:12,000 --> 00:47:17,000
and that. And he's like, he just goes in, like they give the little nod to each other.

506
00:47:17,000 --> 00:47:21,000
The great Carly was fucking one of them as well. And he's like, yeah, setting the team

507
00:47:21,000 --> 00:47:26,000
up. And he's fucking there. The last one, it's the big shot. And he's like, he's in a

508
00:47:26,000 --> 00:47:30,000
garage, fucking as a car mechanic. He's like, hey brother, I'm setting up a team. I need

509
00:47:30,000 --> 00:47:37,000
your help. He's like, yeah, give him the nod. I mean, fucking one of his colleagues comes

510
00:47:37,000 --> 00:47:44,000
over, fucking leans down, kisses him. He shakes his head. Next thing he gives the cut out

511
00:47:44,000 --> 00:47:49,000
scene of the zoomed out scene with all the wrestlers there behind him, but no big show.

512
00:47:49,000 --> 00:47:58,000
It's like, no, he's gay, he's not on the team. Right. And then back to it again anyway.

513
00:47:58,000 --> 00:48:04,000
So that was the mother in fucking back to the future. So if you could bang anyone, this

514
00:48:04,000 --> 00:48:08,000
would. Well, it's just one that popped in my head. She was a fucking darling back in

515
00:48:08,000 --> 00:48:14,000
the day. Um, what was, there's not many that I can think of, but yeah, all natural and

516
00:48:14,000 --> 00:48:20,000
that anyway, there's no fake tits or anything on her. Or at least wasn't back then. Um,

517
00:48:20,000 --> 00:48:26,000
don't know about these days. No, that's a picture of a night. So I'll buy a side. Um,

518
00:48:26,000 --> 00:48:35,000
you can't go get it yourselves as well. Yeah. Uh, it's a hard one really. And it's, you

519
00:48:35,000 --> 00:48:43,000
know, it, oh, again, fucking Kimberley original pink Power Ranger, every fucking lad had a

520
00:48:43,000 --> 00:48:51,000
thing for her really. Uh, you know, who am I? Is that, you know, who my first crush was

521
00:48:51,000 --> 00:48:57,000
in terms of, and I'll just say that I'm really see people on TV. Sure. I would have known

522
00:48:57,000 --> 00:49:05,000
ginger sports. Again, yeah. So we dispose cause everyone always had the fire. Mom was

523
00:49:05,000 --> 00:49:12,000
always Jerry as well. Um, I think most people's was looking baby sports though. Right. No.

524
00:49:12,000 --> 00:49:21,000
I'm a bunting. Yeah. Yeah. Jerry just boring redhead any. Yeah. That's the reason why I

525
00:49:21,000 --> 00:49:30,000
split up any of that because of her and Mal. They split the group up. So yours would be

526
00:49:30,000 --> 00:49:37,000
Jerry then. I just think I'm just going back to that. If, if this, it's, I suppose it's

527
00:49:37,000 --> 00:49:41,000
hard to say cause you don't want to be, I'll try and think about it throughout the week.

528
00:49:41,000 --> 00:49:46,000
And if there's something that comes to mind, not something, someone that comes to mind,

529
00:49:46,000 --> 00:49:53,000
then, uh, I'll drop it in. I mean, again, I'll, you know, old school Megan Fox before

530
00:49:53,000 --> 00:50:00,000
she started having the work done. Um, you know, so she still machine gun killer. I think

531
00:50:00,000 --> 00:50:08,000
the spill. Uh, we had a little bit just, just as, and then before she did transformers because

532
00:50:08,000 --> 00:50:12,000
after that, that's when she started having the work done and that then. I don't know.

533
00:50:12,000 --> 00:50:16,000
I haven't seen this since transformers to be honest with you. She's not done much. She

534
00:50:16,000 --> 00:50:23,000
was in fucking new girl, but she, Oh, she's a fucking darling. Um, Zoe, Zoe Deschanel.

535
00:50:23,000 --> 00:50:29,000
I don't know. Yeah. Um, but then you're not really needing a time machine for that really

536
00:50:29,000 --> 00:50:35,000
higher for her. Sorry. I don't want to sound sexist on this podcast. We're all about the

537
00:50:35,000 --> 00:50:42,000
political correctness. So, uh, yeah, thank you for that. I really appreciate it. Who

538
00:50:42,000 --> 00:50:49,000
would you go back? I reckon she's got a few. Yeah. Men and women, probably women as well.

539
00:50:49,000 --> 00:50:57,000
Yeah. Uh, let us know. He'd, uh, Tom traveled to, would it be someone like Bill Clinton,

540
00:50:57,000 --> 00:51:07,000
JFK, um, so-called Steve Austin. Um, Tony Fee would have been much of a sex symbol. Really?

541
00:51:07,000 --> 00:51:17,000
I can't say. Maybe someone like, I think it was resting as a sex symbol, heartbreak kid.

542
00:51:17,000 --> 00:51:23,000
Shawn Michaels. Yeah. Cause he even had that song getting, I know a kid. I'm just a sexy

543
00:51:23,000 --> 00:51:32,000
boy. Yeah. And the other one as well. Uh, ask man, the one in the generation X, uh,

544
00:51:32,000 --> 00:51:41,000
rolled out exchange. Yeah. Uh, I mean, I'm guessing so anyway, just because he did that

545
00:51:41,000 --> 00:51:51,000
fucking look when he just had his pants on and he, you mean Val Venous? Yeah. Uh, Val

546
00:51:51,000 --> 00:51:56,000
Venous. Fucking hell. He used to make me laugh because he used to have the towel and like,

547
00:51:56,000 --> 00:51:59,000
yeah, like didn't want to undo it. But then when he used to rest, like he walked down

548
00:51:59,000 --> 00:52:06,000
like, when he wrestled, just take the towel. I'm sure there was one where someone pulled

549
00:52:06,000 --> 00:52:11,000
socks out of his fucking pants. So like he was always packing to make it look like he

550
00:52:11,000 --> 00:52:18,000
had a bulge. Sure. Someone did. Yeah. That was the best, best ever for us. Yeah. Thank

551
00:52:18,000 --> 00:52:23,000
you for your email. Yeah. Let us know. Cause who would, to be fair, it doesn't have to

552
00:52:23,000 --> 00:52:30,000
be going back in time. Does it? Could just be fucking, uh, if he, is it the golden card,

553
00:52:30,000 --> 00:52:38,000
the golden ticket, uh, free pass? Well, couples do it. Like a hall pass. Yeah. Uh, couples

554
00:52:38,000 --> 00:52:43,000
have like a list, not all couples, but you see it on fucking, there was a lot of friends

555
00:52:43,000 --> 00:52:47,000
or whatever on it. They had the list of if you met this celebrity and you could sleep

556
00:52:47,000 --> 00:52:55,000
with them, you would. Um, so yeah, if you've got like a celebrity or several, uh, would

557
00:52:55,000 --> 00:53:02,000
be on your list, let us know. Um, I mean again, of modern day celebrities and I'm not gay,

558
00:53:02,000 --> 00:53:05,000
but you would do it to fucking Ronald Reynolds really, wouldn't you? I think that's just

559
00:53:05,000 --> 00:53:12,000
every straight man's just straight. Yeah. Just, I think Brad Pitt, not so much for us. That's

560
00:53:12,000 --> 00:53:20,000
more of a, an older persons, not one same as, um, Oh, what's his name? He was fucking, he

561
00:53:20,000 --> 00:53:25,000
was in, he does coffee adverts and I oceans 11 George Clooney, George Clooney. He was

562
00:53:25,000 --> 00:53:30,000
a Batman. Everyone always used to love him as well. Didn't they? Yeah. My mom used to

563
00:53:30,000 --> 00:53:37,000
love him in ER. Yeah. Yeah. Was it ER? Was it, was it called ER? Sure. The American one.

564
00:53:37,000 --> 00:53:42,000
Yeah. It was called ER. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It was called what it wasn't. Yeah. Yeah.

565
00:53:42,000 --> 00:53:49,000
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

566
00:53:49,000 --> 00:53:58,000
Yeah. Uh, I've been shot. Could everyone stop getting shot? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

567
00:53:58,000 --> 00:54:03,000
Yeah. Right. So who we got next fucking Danny G. I'll be minding this one. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

568
00:54:03,000 --> 00:54:11,000
What did he say? He was saying stuff like dead and you know, you, you got no reason.

569
00:54:11,000 --> 00:54:19,000
Yeah. Singing's dead. To be fair, if you were singing to a girl now, it would be a bit.

570
00:54:19,000 --> 00:54:26,000
What? But again, that's to the fucking the young guns today. It'd be dead. You know,

571
00:54:26,000 --> 00:54:35,000
I was fucking trying to get laid. Now, you know, imagine a scenario. Alicia's gone. Um,

572
00:54:35,000 --> 00:54:40,000
you know, she ran away or she's been hit by a bus or something. So she's at this. She's

573
00:54:40,000 --> 00:54:46,000
not in the picture. Yeah. So if I'm out now, for sars, I'm not trying to fucking pull in

574
00:54:46,000 --> 00:54:52,000
the club because I need to go to bed early. You know, I'm going to get up early. It's

575
00:54:52,000 --> 00:54:58,000
not worth the three days you miss the hangover. So yeah, if I'm just out in the bay, you know,

576
00:54:58,000 --> 00:55:06,000
I'm just chatting a woman up. And again, if it is one of them more of my age, you know,

577
00:55:06,000 --> 00:55:11,000
if we do go on a date, it probably is going to be karaoke or something. So yeah, that's

578
00:55:11,000 --> 00:55:17,000
when the singing comes back into me. But now fucking with the younger ones, you're not

579
00:55:17,000 --> 00:55:20,000
going to be able to do that because that's not what they want. They want to be fucking

580
00:55:20,000 --> 00:55:26,000
chatted up. Don't they want to be raised? Well, well, I do want to be chatted up because,

581
00:55:26,000 --> 00:55:34,000
you know, we've seen some, well, you've seen some stuff. So, you know, yeah. Oh, well,

582
00:55:34,000 --> 00:55:39,000
sorry. Cause just about your story. What we're going to do with that. We're going to leave

583
00:55:39,000 --> 00:55:43,000
that to the end. I'll get onto it in a minute. Yeah. All right. I'll get onto it in a minute.

584
00:55:43,000 --> 00:55:49,000
Everyone's going to be a slightly longer podcast. You know, as well as episode 24. That's it.

585
00:55:49,000 --> 00:56:00,000
Four years. That's it. So the man, the man's reply. Yeah. Little G. Right lads. 24 and

586
00:56:00,000 --> 00:56:04,000
single. Oh yeah. Cause we asked to nobody. Yeah. Cause he said dead and he assumed, cause

587
00:56:04,000 --> 00:56:08,000
I always assumed he was like fairly soon. Cause he said dead and raised. I was like,

588
00:56:08,000 --> 00:56:18,000
yeah, he's going to be under like. So 24 single got all the rest that's needed. No gang. Yeah.

589
00:56:18,000 --> 00:56:30,000
Not about singing. You just go up to the ladies and drop some lines. It's simple. What lines

590
00:56:30,000 --> 00:56:35,000
are you dropping? What are you saying? I think you could just drop anything nowadays. I suppose.

591
00:56:35,000 --> 00:56:39,000
I don't know, man. I know there was. Show him anything. I don't know. There was sort

592
00:56:39,000 --> 00:56:45,000
of like a short window of time where I could pretty much just go up to a girl and just

593
00:56:45,000 --> 00:56:50,000
be like, yeah, you want it. And then you got the no filter. Yeah. So yeah. And it's not

594
00:56:50,000 --> 00:56:56,000
sound, a couple of drinks. Go have your fun. So whether it's just completely like that

595
00:56:56,000 --> 00:57:08,000
now that I'd get more trim than you on a night out. More trim. Trim. Yeah. T R I M.

596
00:57:08,000 --> 00:57:16,000
I assume that's girl. As I said, my barber called me 30 the other week. I guess that's

597
00:57:16,000 --> 00:57:24,000
right. I had to go. Asking what trim is there. It must be women. Make fair play to her if

598
00:57:24,000 --> 00:57:29,000
you can put a few birds on an old hat. So he's 24, he's single. Yeah. He's got all the

599
00:57:29,000 --> 00:57:35,000
rest. Singing is dead. Yeah. And then what's your sad answer? So you just got to go up

600
00:57:35,000 --> 00:57:40,000
to him and drop a few lines. Give us one of your pick up lines, Dan. We want to, we don't

601
00:57:40,000 --> 00:57:46,000
need advice. We want to know what you're fucking wrecking there. What is your go to line? We

602
00:57:46,000 --> 00:57:54,000
assume trim means girls. It must do. Unless it means guys. But it might be fucking just

603
00:57:54,000 --> 00:58:03,000
both. Trim might be picture. I'd get more action than you on a night out maybe. I don't

604
00:58:03,000 --> 00:58:10,000
know man. Fuck you. No? Well. Yeah. So you should. 24. Fucking. I was involved prime

605
00:58:10,000 --> 00:58:16,000
back then as well. Fuck it up. Put it this way, if you can still count on your hands

606
00:58:16,000 --> 00:58:20,000
and toes, you ain't got more reason than what I had fucking back in the day kid. I suppose

607
00:58:20,000 --> 00:58:28,000
it's a question to be asked. Is it easy to pull now in your opinion or would Danny G

608
00:58:28,000 --> 00:58:33,000
find it hard to pull in your generation? In our time. So if you could just drop a few

609
00:58:33,000 --> 00:58:40,000
lines. If you reckon Danny G would find it harder in your time line, then obviously he'd

610
00:58:40,000 --> 00:58:44,000
find it harder. I mean you'd find it harder in his time. So now. Well yeah. Cause I've

611
00:58:44,000 --> 00:58:50,000
had a good couple of advances on myself the last few times I've been out. So, and that's

612
00:58:50,000 --> 00:58:56,000
for me. Walking around with a ring and not even putting any effort in. So let's put 24

613
00:58:56,000 --> 00:59:02,000
year old JD into that is. I'd fucking have more of that. And then you put 24 year old

614
00:59:02,000 --> 00:59:10,000
Danny G in your time line. Who's doing better? I'd still be doing better. Because fucking

615
00:59:10,000 --> 00:59:16,000
I had to put a crack. It was a full on shit for us back in the day. I know Danny G in

616
00:59:16,000 --> 00:59:19,000
having that. No, because he wouldn't be able to have it fucking drop a couple of lines.

617
00:59:19,000 --> 00:59:23,000
Give us what the fuck. You know what I'm thinking. I'm getting angry at him. He's not even there.

618
00:59:23,000 --> 00:59:28,000
I reckon Danny G, I reckon he smokes a vape. He's one of them. Oh, he's got a little weed

619
00:59:28,000 --> 00:59:34,000
one. Drives a Ford Fiesta. Or a Corsa. No, yeah, like Ford. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Little

620
00:59:34,000 --> 00:59:39,000
Corsa, little fucking. He could have boost one. Put the exhaust on it. Yeah. He's got

621
00:59:39,000 --> 00:59:44,000
a traffic cone attached to his exhaust to make it sound like a bra as well. Or he just gets

622
00:59:44,000 --> 00:59:51,000
the buzz mate. Yeah, little boss won't go. In between us there, kid. Fuck you. We'll

623
00:59:51,000 --> 00:59:55,000
have to get Danny G on the show actually. Tell us some of your stories. Mate, yeah.

624
00:59:55,000 --> 01:00:00,000
Fucking. And take you out. That'd be great to see actually. We can do an IRL in real

625
01:00:00,000 --> 01:00:05,000
life. And I found that idea with that as well, mate. There you go. Gaming terminology, that

626
01:00:05,000 --> 01:00:13,000
is good. IRL, yeah. I was watching that sneaker. AFK. Awake on keyboard. Fucking hell. That

627
01:00:13,000 --> 01:00:19,000
was when we was in school though. That was. Fucking hell. To be fair, there's too much

628
01:00:19,000 --> 01:00:26,000
of that. Like, it's bad enough with like LOL, LMAO, LMFAO and all that. But when you fucking

629
01:00:26,000 --> 01:00:32,000
see where it's just like someone's just whacked the fucking keyboard and it's like meant to

630
01:00:32,000 --> 01:00:37,000
fucking say, what do you think about this? Blah, blah, blah. How are you meant to fucking

631
01:00:37,000 --> 01:00:42,000
know? Just type it out. Everyone's got limited characters on a text message these days. Just

632
01:00:42,000 --> 01:00:49,000
fucking write it out. It's annoying. But yeah, Dan, tell us what you do then. Not just drop

633
01:00:49,000 --> 01:00:56,000
a couple lines. Give us an example of what's your go to line of what you say that gets

634
01:00:56,000 --> 01:01:03,000
you some trim. Maybe Danny G's presence is a present in itself, the girls. We'll talk

635
01:01:03,000 --> 01:01:10,000
about that. Maybe he's just got it, mate. Maybe he has just got it, but we don't know

636
01:01:10,000 --> 01:01:19,000
what it is. We just know Dan. You just know Dan. I think he's... Dan the man. Fucking

637
01:01:19,000 --> 01:01:31,000
desperate, Dan. I think now's a good time to fucking start a story then. But Dan, thanks

638
01:01:31,000 --> 01:01:37,000
for your man. Yeah, appreciate it, you little prick. Nah, I'm joking, mate. Fucking always

639
01:01:37,000 --> 01:01:45,000
appreciate. Yeah, so I had that much fucking game that I didn't even have to try most of

640
01:01:45,000 --> 01:01:51,000
the time. So this is one period. Obviously, you're self proclaimed Top Shagger, or used

641
01:01:51,000 --> 01:01:57,000
to be a self proclaimed Top Shagger. Yeah, yeah. Fucking... And we're going after these

642
01:01:57,000 --> 01:02:04,000
Top Shagger stories. I mean, there is a good few, but the main one, you've been waiting

643
01:02:04,000 --> 01:02:11,000
to fucking hear it for a while again. Percy's started to hear it, so I've got to fucking

644
01:02:11,000 --> 01:02:18,000
tell him. Yeah, I mean, we're 25D, so... Yeah. No, we're by the balls now, you know, so...

645
01:02:18,000 --> 01:02:27,000
Fucking hell, she had me by the balls as well. I'll get to that in a minute. So, one point

646
01:02:27,000 --> 01:02:34,000
in the younger days, I spent a lot of time in Derbyshire, because that's where Dad was

647
01:02:34,000 --> 01:02:41,000
living. And at the bottom of the garden was the double garage, and we had two caravans

648
01:02:41,000 --> 01:02:46,000
down there. So one was my brother's bedroom, the other one was my uncle's caravan that

649
01:02:46,000 --> 01:02:52,000
was just left there because he had no head story. And so every weekend was just a general

650
01:02:52,000 --> 01:02:58,000
fucking, you go out on the sesh, and then go back there and just fucking have a chill,

651
01:02:58,000 --> 01:03:05,000
listen to music, carry on drinking and that. But he's one night in particular, the uncle

652
01:03:05,000 --> 01:03:13,000
and his mates nicknamed ears, he had a big nose. To be fair, no, his nose was normal,

653
01:03:13,000 --> 01:03:21,000
so his head was just too small for his ears. Funny as fuck. And back then, to be fair,

654
01:03:21,000 --> 01:03:28,000
I don't know about ears these days, but uncle, he's not a raging alcoholic, like what he

655
01:03:28,000 --> 01:03:36,000
used to be. But back then, it was fucking hardcore. So, you know, started off as normal,

656
01:03:36,000 --> 01:03:42,000
a couple of drinks, gone out, met some friends and whatever. And it was just one girl I'd

657
01:03:42,000 --> 01:03:49,000
been chatting to for most of the night and that. Nothing happened with her. But one of

658
01:03:49,000 --> 01:03:59,000
her friends, I won't say her name, but everyone, because of her last name, everyone called

659
01:03:59,000 --> 01:04:05,000
her such and such fat because it rhymed with it. I'm not going to say her first name.

660
01:04:05,000 --> 01:04:12,000
But describe what she looked like then, Jay. She was a fucking moose. So she was a larger

661
01:04:12,000 --> 01:04:26,000
lady, a lot larger than the average lady. Wasn't nice looking. And just not someone

662
01:04:26,000 --> 01:04:33,000
that you'd want to wake up next to in general. One that you take out to a carvery just so

663
01:04:33,000 --> 01:04:38,000
there's all you can eat there. And it's what we call in the trade, 10 to 3. 10 to 3 girls.

664
01:04:38,000 --> 01:04:44,000
Yeah, it was a lot fucking lighter than that. So anyway, like, here's her fucking trying

665
01:04:44,000 --> 01:04:49,000
to chat her up all night. She wasn't having none of it. And then it's got to the time

666
01:04:49,000 --> 01:04:54,000
of the morning at this point where clubs are closing. So we've all gone back to the caravan

667
01:04:54,000 --> 01:05:00,000
to carry on drinking and that. And she started trying to put it on me. I was like, no, I'm

668
01:05:00,000 --> 01:05:05,000
all right, bab. Don't want nothing. No, I'm all right, so. Fucking here's his game. Go

669
01:05:05,000 --> 01:05:11,000
on, look, and he's still fucking trying to even though she's kept moving around the caravan

670
01:05:11,000 --> 01:05:17,000
and she kept following me. I said, caravans not big fucking. Oh, sorry for the suspension.

671
01:05:17,000 --> 01:05:29,000
And I said, I bet that was rocking all the way. I mean, even before, just walking around,

672
01:05:29,000 --> 01:05:39,000
I still could buy a roof. You can have a look at that. So yeah, been going on for like another

673
01:05:39,000 --> 01:05:44,000
hour by fucking drinking away. We've that caravan that we was in, it never had a toilet.

674
01:05:44,000 --> 01:05:50,000
So if you needed a way, you'd go out and just piece next to the caravan. To be fair, I'm

675
01:05:50,000 --> 01:05:56,000
assuming that the line is still designed. I'm guessing so. I don't fucking. I don't

676
01:05:56,000 --> 01:06:02,000
think I really paid attention. Plus we was always drunk. So I just didn't care. If the

677
01:06:02,000 --> 01:06:08,000
girl's going out for a piece as well, it is what it is. So literally is at the fucking

678
01:06:08,000 --> 01:06:13,000
end, how old was still awake? I don't know. Because obviously there'd been a lot of drinking

679
01:06:13,000 --> 01:06:17,000
at the club before going out, shots in the club and that, and then still knocking up

680
01:06:17,000 --> 01:06:22,000
a fucking, I don't know, four or six cans of snow or whatever fucking back in the caravan

681
01:06:22,000 --> 01:06:27,000
because we used to buy slabs of 24 each and then we'd go through that over the whole of

682
01:06:27,000 --> 01:06:35,000
the weekend as well as going out and drinking. So I've gone out, gone to have a piece. Next

683
01:06:35,000 --> 01:06:42,000
thing I'm getting dragged into the other caravan and it was just all the fucking blur at that

684
01:06:42,000 --> 01:06:51,000
point. Well, who's dragging you Joe? Fucking this fat bitch has dragged me into the caravan

685
01:06:51,000 --> 01:06:58,000
and essentially she's right man. Cause I already didn't consent. At least I didn't want to

686
01:06:58,000 --> 01:07:04,000
consent. But I've just sat to mind up at that point and all. So yeah, somehow fucking got

687
01:07:04,000 --> 01:07:12,000
hard. I suppose I just closed my eyes and thought of England. Maybe it was the beer.

688
01:07:12,000 --> 01:07:23,000
Yeah. At that point, because I was drunk, I didn't remember too much at the time. So

689
01:07:23,000 --> 01:07:30,000
then I woke up in the morning and it was back in the day before we had touch screen phones.

690
01:07:30,000 --> 01:07:35,000
So there was buttons you had to physically press and you'd be trying to get a letter

691
01:07:35,000 --> 01:07:43,000
and you'd have to press two, three times to get C and fucking like six, three times to

692
01:07:43,000 --> 01:07:55,000
get O. Fucking proper old school. So I'm lying there and all. So it's waking me up. I've

693
01:07:55,000 --> 01:08:01,000
tried not to move and I'm thinking who the fuck is texting next to me? And then it all

694
01:08:01,000 --> 01:08:08,000
starts coming back. Normally when you start having a flashback of something that you're

695
01:08:08,000 --> 01:08:15,000
not happy about, then you see it on the films and the TV and that it's all the full head

696
01:08:15,000 --> 01:08:22,000
movements. So I was doing that movement in my head, but I'm trying to stay still because

697
01:08:22,000 --> 01:08:30,000
it all started flashing back. So I remember the dragging me into the caravan. She starts

698
01:08:30,000 --> 01:08:39,000
fucking going down on me. Then fucking she's bent over and I'm banging from behind and

699
01:08:39,000 --> 01:08:46,000
this and that and fucking. Yeah, it all blurred at the end anyway. I know I didn't finish.

700
01:08:46,000 --> 01:08:52,000
Fucking I wouldn't have been out. I was that drunk. Fucking no chance. Remember I fucking,

701
01:08:52,000 --> 01:08:58,000
you saw I wear a ring on my middle finger as well. And obviously as you do it, you fucking,

702
01:08:58,000 --> 01:09:04,000
you gotta give the lady a bit of pleasure. And I'm thinking my rings on my finger. That's

703
01:09:04,000 --> 01:09:11,000
inside of that. I've lost my ring. So this point now, the five minutes of pure disgusting

704
01:09:11,000 --> 01:09:17,000
flashbacks coming into my head. I've gone out of the bed. I'm like Rob, Bob, fucking

705
01:09:17,000 --> 01:09:20,000
yeah, throw my James back down. I'm like, Rob, I'm just gonna go have yourself a cup

706
01:09:20,000 --> 01:09:25,000
of tea. I'll be back down in a minute. Fucking never went back down to the caravan until

707
01:09:25,000 --> 01:09:30,000
she'd left anyway. Fucking hell. The old man was laughing at me because he fucking

708
01:09:30,000 --> 01:09:36,000
had winded up what had happened. Cause me brother had fucking told him. Oh God, I was

709
01:09:36,000 --> 01:09:42,000
so ashamed. The whole of that fucking day. Couldn't believe what had happened. But after

710
01:09:42,000 --> 01:09:47,000
a couple of hours, cause she waited down there, waiting for me to go back down. Fucking nah.

711
01:09:47,000 --> 01:09:54,000
Wanted another round mate. Fucking never had it in me in the first place for round one.

712
01:09:54,000 --> 01:09:58,000
I think I just fucked off in the van for a bit. I didn't say I put it out anyway cause

713
01:09:58,000 --> 01:10:04,000
she could have easily come up. So when I knew that she'd actually left, went down, found

714
01:10:04,000 --> 01:10:09,000
my ring on the fucking floor in the gravel. So fortunately fell off while I was having

715
01:10:09,000 --> 01:10:15,000
a piss or something. Fucking hell. I did give it a sneak test. Didn't smile like fucking

716
01:10:15,000 --> 01:10:24,000
ass or anything. And then yeah, after that fucking for weeks, I was making sure not to

717
01:10:24,000 --> 01:10:28,000
bump into that. And everyone she'd spoke to, she was saying that she was going to fucking

718
01:10:28,000 --> 01:10:34,000
beat me up. And she'd fucking easily do it as well. She was going to knock me out because

719
01:10:34,000 --> 01:10:43,000
fucking trying to say that I'd use that. But the golden thing was, ears was fucking having

720
01:10:43,000 --> 01:10:50,000
a rock go at me the next day saying I'd fucking stole these bird. I sat there and told her

721
01:10:50,000 --> 01:10:54,000
to fucking have you. I kept moving away and he was following her around off the fucking

722
01:10:54,000 --> 01:11:03,000
last puppy as well. It was just disgusting. It definitely isn't one of my proudest moments.

723
01:11:03,000 --> 01:11:08,000
I mean, I can tell you about another time that would be more of a proud moment, but

724
01:11:08,000 --> 01:11:12,000
we'll save that for another time. Yeah. I mean, there's plenty more to come. Don't worry

725
01:11:12,000 --> 01:11:17,000
about that. There is a lot more to come. Are we mentioning, this is the same one with the,

726
01:11:17,000 --> 01:11:23,000
I don't know what to say on the podcast, but it was the funniest part. I thought it was

727
01:11:23,000 --> 01:11:31,000
the funniest part of Bali. Oh, shit. Yeah. I mean, for me, this just went. So from my

728
01:11:31,000 --> 01:11:39,000
point of view, when JD and our roommate used to go down, JD's dad used to come back with

729
01:11:39,000 --> 01:11:43,000
his stories. But he wasn't, we'd been on that weekend. No, no. But normally we used to be

730
01:11:43,000 --> 01:11:51,000
the two of us. You make weekend of it. Yeah. You're out there all weekend, come back. And

731
01:11:51,000 --> 01:11:57,000
so yeah, I was running for the story. Yeah. And then, but this one was funny because obviously

732
01:11:57,000 --> 01:12:03,000
he's told the story as he was telling me, like the dread, like the story, like how the

733
01:12:03,000 --> 01:12:08,000
boss looked like the dread, the fear. But the thing that had me creasing the most is

734
01:12:08,000 --> 01:12:15,000
that he had the flashback that you had. Yeah. So the flashback, see, I blocked it out. You

735
01:12:15,000 --> 01:12:21,000
don't want to go there, right? So I remember, I don't know why I fucking forgot because

736
01:12:21,000 --> 01:12:29,000
fucking, I just mentioned about the ring. So yeah, she, she didn't have to ask twice.

737
01:12:29,000 --> 01:12:36,000
She made me do it. So I ended up forming that. Probably an easy role to get into to be fair.

738
01:12:36,000 --> 01:12:57,000
But so I was in her asshole. But once she's had a pleasure off of that, she's fucking rolled

739
01:12:57,000 --> 01:13:05,000
around. She didn't speak. Fuck no. Look at her on the back. Yeah. Yeah. She started sucking

740
01:13:05,000 --> 01:13:11,000
her ass right away. 80 and 80 and. No, it might be fucking completely different these

741
01:13:11,000 --> 01:13:16,000
days. It might be a fucking, you know, obviously we've already had Seegan and that, it might

742
01:13:16,000 --> 01:13:21,000
be a fucking. I reckon a lot of people they're just like, it's just bummed, isn't it? Yeah.

743
01:13:21,000 --> 01:13:27,000
But like back in the day, Asthma, that was like a disgusting thing that you'd see on

744
01:13:27,000 --> 01:13:33,000
porn. Not a regular occurrence. In a car van, yeah. You wouldn't even sweat in a car when.

745
01:13:33,000 --> 01:13:39,000
You're in a back garden. It's not even on a caravan sauce. Fucking. So apart from that

746
01:13:39,000 --> 01:13:48,000
night, there were good old days, you know, fucking madness. So that, that's yeah, nothing

747
01:13:48,000 --> 01:13:55,000
to be proud of. It's not big, it's not clever. Don't get raped when you're a, I know it's

748
01:13:55,000 --> 01:14:03,000
not a choice. You don't get to say no. Just the boy being that drunk and getting abused

749
01:14:03,000 --> 01:14:15,000
off. I still just don't know how I was able to fucking do it. Wrong. Yeah, there's definitely

750
01:14:15,000 --> 01:14:21,000
more stories. The rest of them from now on will be a bit more cheerful than that. Yeah.

751
01:14:21,000 --> 01:14:24,000
You know what? Cause you loved the story. You should have told the story yourself. Cause

752
01:14:24,000 --> 01:14:31,000
it's been fucking like a down moment for me. No. With our group of lads like growing up,

753
01:14:31,000 --> 01:14:37,000
they always had stories. Yeah. And I mean stories and like obviously when it comes to

754
01:14:37,000 --> 01:14:45,000
girls, nights out and it was just always when, when the lads are telling you the story from

755
01:14:45,000 --> 01:14:48,000
their perspective, like in the moment, like obviously Jaylee's telling his story like,

756
01:14:48,000 --> 01:14:54,000
I don't know, 15, I don't know, I don't even want to put a number. It's about 19. So yeah,

757
01:14:54,000 --> 01:14:59,000
about 15 years ago. 15 years ago. See when you're telling it, from my point of view,

758
01:14:59,000 --> 01:15:04,000
like two days after it actually happened. Yeah. Cause all the memory was fresh from

759
01:15:04,000 --> 01:15:09,000
me at then as well. Yeah. And just the dread, the fear, the, it's the ATM that got me. Yeah.

760
01:15:09,000 --> 01:15:15,000
Cause I just remember you telling me and one of the lads was like, you ATM that? I didn't

761
01:15:15,000 --> 01:15:20,000
even know that many to that person said it at that time. Yeah. But yeah, now it was,

762
01:15:20,000 --> 01:15:29,000
yeah. I need to fucking, I need to give another story out cause that's, I don't want to end

763
01:15:29,000 --> 01:15:35,000
these podcasts, be me selfy and a little bit distressed with that one. A bit uncomfortable.

764
01:15:35,000 --> 01:15:41,000
Well, before I tell another story actually, so a couple of years after that happened,

765
01:15:41,000 --> 01:15:48,000
my dad was in the pub with my stepmother and whoever else. There was a lad that I know

766
01:15:48,000 --> 01:15:54,000
from over them ways, used to do a bit of work with him. Fucking same lads, electrician and

767
01:15:54,000 --> 01:16:02,000
that. And he was drinking with me dad as well at that point. But I don't even know what,

768
01:16:02,000 --> 01:16:08,000
but that started chatting to this girl, this same fucking girl. Fucking so and so fat.

769
01:16:08,000 --> 01:16:14,000
And then, well, for whatever reason it was like, Oh yeah. So what, what kind of lad do

770
01:16:14,000 --> 01:16:22,000
you go for and that there? Cause I don't know the full story, but yeah, she's ended up saying

771
01:16:22,000 --> 01:16:31,000
fucking she's into gingers. And so my mate he's ginger, but she wasn't into him. Plus

772
01:16:31,000 --> 01:16:36,000
I don't know if he had a girlfriend or something at the time, but she started fucking describing

773
01:16:36,000 --> 01:16:41,000
me and she didn't know that there's more with that. And so fucking that's trying to ring

774
01:16:41,000 --> 01:16:48,000
me. I remember I was out, uh, I don't know, somewhere having fucking dinner with the missus

775
01:16:48,000 --> 01:16:54,000
anywhere. He's trying to ring and I ended up saying, sorry, I've got to take this. Cause

776
01:16:54,000 --> 01:16:59,000
I'm thinking, fuck, it's so important. So I've answered his, Oh, we're all so never

777
01:16:59,000 --> 01:17:04,000
gonna see all just fucking met. I'm like, who? You got, well, she's into gingers, blah,

778
01:17:04,000 --> 01:17:09,000
blah, this now. So for fuck's sake, that I said, you didn't tell her you're my dad. Did

779
01:17:09,000 --> 01:17:14,000
you? He went, no, but I wanted to. So that you see her again. Don't fucking say anything.

780
01:17:14,000 --> 01:17:19,000
Fucking, but yeah, she kind of fucking says about how she fucking love this one ginger

781
01:17:19,000 --> 01:17:22,000
lad and fucking, you know, did it.

782
01:17:22,000 --> 01:17:29,000
But what did she find out that you was his son or your brother?

783
01:17:29,000 --> 01:17:36,000
Yeah, but I don't know if, well, I'm guessing she didn't know that that was Rob's dad as

784
01:17:36,000 --> 01:17:41,000
well. I think it was just, he was in the pool and not that being daddy just chatting to

785
01:17:41,000 --> 01:17:47,000
people. Don't know. Um, so yeah, I've just started the conversation and then just after

786
01:17:47,000 --> 01:17:54,000
he's had a couple of drinks, she starts chatting shit even more. So yeah, well, let me give

787
01:17:54,000 --> 01:17:59,000
another little fucking story now before we finish the part. Cause that has brought me

788
01:17:59,000 --> 01:18:07,000
down a little bit. Um, so again, the same areas. Remember this one bird that, uh, it

789
01:18:07,000 --> 01:18:14,000
wasn't like a back on enough fucking relationship. It was just, she'd messaged me a lot. Like

790
01:18:14,000 --> 01:18:18,000
she had a boyfriend and everything and just like out of the blue, but do you want to meet

791
01:18:18,000 --> 01:18:23,000
up? Oh yeah. Fucking sound. Um, obviously I wasn't the one getting cheated on. She wasn't

792
01:18:23,000 --> 01:18:28,000
always with this kid, but I remember when she was with him, she was still fucking wanting

793
01:18:28,000 --> 01:18:35,000
to meet up and that, you know, I don't condole cheating or anything, but you know, I wasn't

794
01:18:35,000 --> 01:18:41,000
one doing anything or anything, so it didn't bother me. But yeah, anyway, I remember fucking

795
01:18:41,000 --> 01:18:48,000
meeting up with that, picked her up and then look with that same house of dads, there was

796
01:18:48,000 --> 01:18:52,000
like a road, he carried on down the road and it sort of led to like a field. It was like

797
01:18:52,000 --> 01:18:59,000
a football pitch and whatever. Remember fucking driving down there to like the gates where

798
01:18:59,000 --> 01:19:06,000
you could open it to the farmers to go whatever. And have you ever tried having sex in the

799
01:19:06,000 --> 01:19:14,000
car? Or had sex in the car? Yeah. Not driving, but it's one of the most awkward fucking things

800
01:19:14,000 --> 01:19:21,000
to do. Were you in a car in a van? I was in a car, had a car, fucking focus, things of

801
01:19:21,000 --> 01:19:28,000
focus or a fiesta. Not focus, yeah, because fiestas are smaller. Fucking, so yeah, getting

802
01:19:28,000 --> 01:19:33,000
into it in the back, fucking, you know, banging around. It's just, you ain't got room, you

803
01:19:33,000 --> 01:19:40,000
can't fucking load the seats down properly and fucking whatever. So awkward anyway. So

804
01:19:40,000 --> 01:19:45,000
I ended up just fucking opening the door, I'm standing outside, fucking banging the

805
01:19:45,000 --> 01:19:52,000
wire nap, done the deed. And then, well, just as I fucking finished, I was in this car,

806
01:19:52,000 --> 01:19:58,000
fucking pulling down towards us, fucking out, so I jumped back in, scrambled into the front,

807
01:19:58,000 --> 01:20:03,000
fucking, put on my fucking clothes and that back on, she's doing the same. And then we're

808
01:20:03,000 --> 01:20:08,000
just sitting there, I've put the radio on, just fucking music, just drawing out act all

809
01:20:08,000 --> 01:20:12,000
innocent, because I'm thinking, is it a police car or something? Well, they've just sat behind

810
01:20:12,000 --> 01:20:18,000
us, about 20 meters behind, they've got the headlights on, and I think it's not the police,

811
01:20:18,000 --> 01:20:23,000
because they've not fucking put the lights on and fucking come over or anything. So I'm

812
01:20:23,000 --> 01:20:29,000
thinking, have I accidentally pulled down to a dogging spot or something there? You

813
01:20:29,000 --> 01:20:32,000
know, you're giving the look, because you have to say, what's going on? Do they give

814
01:20:32,000 --> 01:20:38,000
you a little flash? No flashing or anything, fucking. They must have known what I've just

815
01:20:38,000 --> 01:20:42,000
done, because again, with the old showing. Yeah, the modest scene. Well, the modest scene

816
01:20:42,000 --> 01:20:47,000
we get him dressed in the car as well, because it's fucking 12 o'clock in the night or something.

817
01:20:47,000 --> 01:20:51,000
Their headlights are shining straight through the car, so they'd be able to see me putting

818
01:20:51,000 --> 01:20:57,000
my fucking top and that back on. So yeah, fucking, she's flapping it hard then as well.

819
01:20:57,000 --> 01:21:03,000
So I ended up just fucking starting the car, spinning it around, and then look, then we're

820
01:21:03,000 --> 01:21:09,000
carrying up my as I drive past, but I thought, you know, just don't look, don't look. Yeah,

821
01:21:09,000 --> 01:21:16,000
so that's a bit more of a funnier story to end that up on. I feel a bit better now. I

822
01:21:16,000 --> 01:21:20,000
feel like you needed to get that one off your chest to come safe with your one jar. Yeah,

823
01:21:20,000 --> 01:21:27,000
I mean that guy in the teak hat, fucking hell, loads of fucking things about her. Again,

824
01:21:27,000 --> 01:21:34,000
I won't ever name any names, because if, for the sum of the cross, as far as the last I

825
01:21:34,000 --> 01:21:39,000
heard of that, she was still with the same lad. Still with the same lad? Yeah, yeah.

826
01:21:39,000 --> 01:21:43,000
Oh, she's made for the streets, mate. I think, look, she had a lot of two kids or something

827
01:21:43,000 --> 01:21:48,000
at that point as well, because she'd messaged me, because before I moved out of Carpentra,

828
01:21:48,000 --> 01:21:53,000
she'd messaged, oh yeah, how are you? And I thought, I can't be having this bullshit,

829
01:21:53,000 --> 01:21:59,000
with the missus and that. No. I was like, sorry, I don't know, yeah. Look, try to just fucking

830
01:21:59,000 --> 01:22:05,000
nip it straight in the bud. Yeah, you do. No, I'll just block the strata of that. I

831
01:22:05,000 --> 01:22:11,000
thought, I ain't having this fucking, lord, messaging or anything. Fucking, yeah. I mean,

832
01:22:11,000 --> 01:22:16,000
it had been a good couple of years before I got with the missus that I'd done anything

833
01:22:16,000 --> 01:22:21,000
with her last anyway, so it's not like she could fucking try and ruin anything, but I

834
01:22:21,000 --> 01:22:25,000
thought, nah, because it was sort of a common theme. She'd have an argument with a fella,

835
01:22:25,000 --> 01:22:30,000
and then she'd fucking, lord, chin him off, get in touch with me. I'd fucking make her

836
01:22:30,000 --> 01:22:39,000
happy again. Yeah, she'd go back home then. Good old days, my fucking heart. Top shagging

837
01:22:39,000 --> 01:22:48,000
days, Dan. You don't know about it, kid. No Riz. So yeah, hopefully yous are all satisfied

838
01:22:48,000 --> 01:22:55,000
with that now. We've got more stories to come. Read it over in the emails. Anything that

839
01:22:55,000 --> 01:23:00,000
yous got, any questions. If you've got any answers to any of the questions we've had

840
01:23:00,000 --> 01:23:07,000
as well, send them in. Mike, we want to hear more stories from you. I would have loved

841
01:23:07,000 --> 01:23:14,000
to. If you can send that footage in, fucking please, Divi. I won't put it on if we're not

842
01:23:14,000 --> 01:23:19,000
happy. I'd love to see that kid just getting strangled. Yeah, no. And again, thank you

843
01:23:19,000 --> 01:23:23,000
for everyone that's emailed, and everyone that's emailed throughout the show for the

844
01:23:23,000 --> 01:23:31,000
first 24 episodes. We're building a tidy little fan base, to be fair. Well, obviously

845
01:23:31,000 --> 01:23:37,000
we can't do without yous last, so it is much appreciated for asking the questions and wanting

846
01:23:37,000 --> 01:23:43,000
to know. Yeah, wanting to know about us in general as well. It's not just a bit of comedy

847
01:23:43,000 --> 01:23:50,000
coming out of some of it as well. Shout out to the Welsh fans. We've got a big Welsh

848
01:23:50,000 --> 01:23:57,000
following. Madness to be fair. You wouldn't expect Welsh to enjoy the Bromianth and the

849
01:23:57,000 --> 01:24:04,000
heck. I think that must be like a uni town, and someone said, listen to these two. It's

850
01:24:04,000 --> 01:24:11,000
just gone from there. It's got a bit. We could do a little tour there soon. Yeah, man. Get

851
01:24:11,000 --> 01:24:17,000
Danny G on stage or some Riz. No Riz, man. Fucking hell. We fucking shagging a she. Where

852
01:24:17,000 --> 01:24:23,000
did Riz come from? It's just a Riz. When I first heard it, I just assumed a Rizla. It's

853
01:24:23,000 --> 01:24:32,000
like rolling up your joints and cigarettes and that. But I don't know. Rizla, roll up,

854
01:24:32,000 --> 01:24:39,000
roll up to the women. It's got to be an American song. Yeah. But now, yeah, obviously, once

855
01:24:39,000 --> 01:24:44,000
again, thank you to everyone that's emailed on this episode's podcast. If you've got any

856
01:24:44,000 --> 01:24:49,000
new slang that you want to teach us as well. Yeah. If you know what trim. It's got to be.

857
01:24:49,000 --> 01:24:54,000
I mean, I'll ask my Bible, I'm going to trim what it means. So if not. Trim, get your hair

858
01:24:54,000 --> 01:24:59,000
cut. But he's definitely going to get his hair cut more than me. I don't know how, because

859
01:24:59,000 --> 01:25:06,000
I don't have it cut these days. Unless it's more pubic region. Man-scape, do it myself.

860
01:25:06,000 --> 01:25:15,000
I'm not paying for that. But yeah, do appreciate it. Just saying again, because the majority

861
01:25:15,000 --> 01:25:21,000
of you do listen, don't download. So even though we appreciate you listening, if you

862
01:25:21,000 --> 01:25:29,000
could just download, it shows us exactly how many people are listening to us. I can see

863
01:25:29,000 --> 01:25:36,000
the Spotify numbers there going up. I know we need to put more effort in on social media

864
01:25:36,000 --> 01:25:42,000
side and all that. We'll get there. You would have seen by now as well, but we have got

865
01:25:42,000 --> 01:25:49,000
a new logo as well. Oh yeah. Sorry for leaving it so late. But the designer. Yeah, Tanya.

866
01:25:49,000 --> 01:25:55,000
Tanya's tail's gone around grooming business. And in Tamworth, so check her out, just Google

867
01:25:55,000 --> 01:26:00,000
it. But yeah, thank you for doing the design. We loved it. But also the concept art that

868
01:26:00,000 --> 01:26:05,000
we gave her, my partner for was absolutely hilarious because he was just like, he literally

869
01:26:05,000 --> 01:26:11,000
was a two second job. And she said we should have kept that one. If I remember I'll fucking

870
01:26:11,000 --> 01:26:15,000
paint it up here now as well. Yeah. But now, yeah, so thank you for that. Yeah. I'll say

871
01:26:15,000 --> 01:26:21,000
that should be back down on this episode. It will get that sorted in the morning. And

872
01:26:21,000 --> 01:26:27,000
then it will all be on there when this is coming in your ears tomorrow. Well, today

873
01:26:27,000 --> 01:26:34,000
for you. But yeah, that's been the Real Talking Podcast, episode 25. Hope you enjoyed it as

874
01:26:34,000 --> 01:26:51,000
much as we did. We shall see you next week. Peace.