Good. What?
Are you rapping?
Why? I started.
You guys have beers and I don't.
Because you didn't ask for one.
You didn't ask. It should be assumed.
Yeah, there you go.
Like assume the position.
Thank you, Paul. There you have a beer.
I forgot what our bourbon was.
Fry Ranch.
We have the we have the bottle up here, don't we?
Yeah, I gave it to Mr. Producer.
Well, hello. Is that Fry or Frey?
Frey. Frey.
F-R-E-Y.
Welcome to the latest edition of Dudes Like Us.
It's May 18th. It is May 18th.
It is. Middle of May.
And we did not do one last week.
We did. My AC went out and we're upstairs in Texas.
And Sean panicked and drove off to Amarillo.
I know. Yeah. He's like, fuck this.
I'm going to Amarillo. Yeah. Really?
Is it colder in Amarillo?
I have to go hiking at 105 degrees.
Yeah, that was cool.
You're like, I want to do a podcast in that hot room.
Right.
It's beautiful out there.
I've never been to Amarillo.
I haven't been much into West Texas.
The farthest I've been is Lubbock,
which I don't know if that's technically West Texas, but.
Now, let me be specific.
Amarillo is not super duper fantastic.
Well, there's one area.
Well, yeah, it's just a city.
But it's the region is it's it's elevated.
I don't know. Three thousand feet.
I think it's still out there.
Or is that further north?
Because I know it's in the panhandle, right?
It's at the base of the panhandle.
I think it gets snow.
Yeah, I think it's still up there.
Because I know I know Brandon does.
It's flat is the point.
And it's literally the cap.
So every now and then Mesa throughout the outskirts of Amarillo and south of
Lubbock, you drop off that cap and you fall into this canyon.
There's just these little mini grand canyons and they're stunning.
Absolutely beautiful.
Called Palad? No.
Well, that that is the way.
But that's where you drive out to Lubbock.
That's not Palo Duro Canyon.
Yeah. No outside of Amarillo is.
Yeah, so that may be.
But on the way to Lubbock, there's like these little canyon.
It's not real big.
Oh, I thought. Yeah.
I thought you were. It's around post Texas.
So if you were to drive to post Texas, you're not very far from some of the most
beautiful outside of the Grand Canyon.
Yeah, like no mini.
There is a micro grand canyon for what they talk about is what Paul was referring to.
The the Palo Duro.
Palo Duro Canyon.
Palo Duro. Now, I went there.
And man, it was beautiful.
I've never seen it.
It's absolutely beautiful.
So you take a shit outside.
I did not.
In fact, I didn't even pee.
Is there something magical about shit in the
close in the road down for the night?
We're like, so you just shit.
I was like, what are we going to do?
And I was like, I went down in the ditch and I crouched down in there to just wipe wipes.
Did you like dog wipe your ass with the ground type of thing?
Drag your ass.
I had like a worst abrasion.
Road rash.
Oh, my God.
Road rash.
Well, I didn't know there were sharp pebbles all along the bottom of the.
No, I didn't scoot my ass along.
Cacti.
I didn't.
Did I have a wipe?
I don't think I had a wipe either.
God.
I think I just wiggled and wiggled and everything fell off and it was all air dried.
I went to the Scarborough Fair this weekend and I carried wet wipes with me.
Oh, good move.
I have these large pouches on my kilt.
That's why you wore tactical kilt for your wet wipes.
It wasn't a true kilt though.
Did you free ball it?
Not even free ball it.
I had very loose underwear on and I want to say it made a huge difference.
It's very liberating to hike your leg up and put it up on a stool.
That's so gross.
And just reach under there and give it a good stern scratch.
Just stop it.
What's wrong with you?
What?
Hike it up?
What are you talking about?
What's going on over there?
Ah, you.
It's gross.
You should you should the ditch.
Yeah.
See, that's normal.
I'm just saying.
I've never done any of these things.
Well, you haven't lived.
I guess.
You haven't lived until you've hiked your leg up and shitting a ditch.
I mean, I was in Amarillo when when I get there, I'm in Amarillo.
I'm heading back east towards down this highway, whatever it's a dead ends into the state park
and you pay your eight bucks.
They give you a little map and and they're like, are there some there's a small gift
store with a nice view.
And then you go down to the bottom.
There's another little snack bar with they sell all kinds of things that campers would
want to have mules.
They didn't actually they had some there were some horses out there in the Grand Canyon.
You can you can have a mule really take you down.
Yes.
You know, and you can write it down by yourself.
You can rent it for the day.
Yes.
There's tours.
Yes.
Oh, somebody else has to imagine how miserable that would be to ride on a mule.
There's like no animation.
It's just pure just like people did it for a thousand years.
OK, well, we're beyond that now.
We've got what do we want?
I want battery powered.
Have you ever tried it?
A mule?
Yeah.
I mean, well, I don't think you want to ride a battery powered thing down some of those
ledges on the Grand Canyon.
Also, and you like slides out a little bit.
The mule doesn't do that.
Dr. Jones.
What Dr. Jones?
What did you say?
It'll be like that guy that you hear scream on Star Wars.
It's like that guy you hear at every Star Wars.
They put that guy screaming as he falls.
There's a sound bite that in every single Star Wars.
Oh, they use that kind of like freeware.
Yes.
It's so silly.
It's freeware.
It's hilarious.
I want to go camping out there at Palo Duro.
They have that little store down at the base.
So you start up.
Here it is.
You start up at the top.
So this is the man who screams.
Yeah, I'll just fill my pipe.
The hell?
That's it.
They're about to show different movies that show the same scream.
I'm sure.
The Spider 1954.
I watched that movie.
Now an ant coming in.
Same scream.
They just keep using the same scream.
Yeah.
It's so lame.
I wonder what the last year they used it.
Oh, there's Star Wars.
1977.
No, it's in the newest Star Wars cartoons.
Really?
Yeah.
Did you hear that?
Raise the last star.
There we go.
I've got to be honest.
I have to get the gist of it.
I never knew that.
You never noticed that?
I never knew that that was the same scream.
That is comical.
Well, hold on.
Maybe it's not the same scream.
Maybe that's what humans make.
That exact sound.
That one sounds like it's dubbed in.
Yeah, maybe.
I think you're right.
All right.
So you want to camp.
You don't want to camp anywhere near here.
You want to drive five hours to camp.
Look, we can't camp around in here.
Yeah, we do have backyards.
Backyards.
Get the frack out of here.
Actually, we camped in our backyard one time.
Let's start there.
It was so cold as hell.
It was freezing.
Yeah, we set up a tent in the back.
We can practice and we can get a little Bunsen burner out.
Nah, dude.
Practice.
We're done with the practice.
Yeah, we're done with the practice.
Sean's never done it before.
So the trip back from Amarillo to Dallas, I took the South trip, I-20.
And I went South of Lubbock and drove through Post.
I had to visit my little area that I love.
I have a little pen on my Google map.
And so if I'm in the region, I drive to that pen and I need to make a note because I've
done this three times in a row.
You should.
I'm an idiot, first of all.
I'm an idiot.
I've done this three times in a row.
I drive out there and I've got like a half a tank of gas.
And I'm thinking, not a problem.
It is always a problem every time I drive out there because I pass that point and I
make it there.
I still have an eighth of a tank of a gas, but I'm kind of like, dude, what is going
on?
So I'm not doing that again.
You've done this more than once.
Three times in a row.
And that's not scary enough?
When I'm thinking I'm going to run out of gas, not a good feeling.
You know what?
Not a good feeling.
I don't care.
You know why?
Because I'm going to drive it to the car stops.
I'm going to call somebody.
They're going to bring me gas.
Your cell phone doesn't work out there.
No, it doesn't.
Yeah, it kind of does.
That's all right.
And then you're going to get scouted by Indians.
I don't even care.
It's 130 out there.
I had like a case of water.
For some reason, I don't care because it's so beautiful out there.
I'll camp.
I'll be like, I don't know.
You're going to live off the land?
I will.
You're going to catch lizards that run across the desert?
Man, I parked on the side of the road multiple times and was rummaging through the...
I'll climb up there and I'll pickle some quail eggs overnight real quick.
Oh, shut up.
What's wrong with you?
You would be like dead in seven minutes.
You have to take a shit.
You're like, where's my recliner?
Yeah, it'd be the fastest.
Where's my stats?
Oh my God, I ran out of gas.
Three minutes later, he's dead.
And you just used your last wet wipe.
Oh man, I've got...
You're laying in the dish next to the car, just unexplainably dead.
I have things I bring with me.
I've got a filter for water.
It's got a little pump on it, a hand crank.
They don't have water out there though.
Yeah, they do.
It's a desert.
They have water.
Well, if you dig deep enough, do you have like a spade?
Do you have a well driller?
For example, in payload turn, do you have a spade?
Yeah, when you go to that little store, you'd be like, I'll take a spade.
No, but they have a fresh water that comes right through there.
It's actually pretty cool.
It's narrow.
It's probably about 12 foot wide, but it's fresh.
It's coming in.
Well, I thought that Bear Grylls guy says that if you're ever lost, find water and then
follow it like a river.
Just follow the river.
Well, yeah, because then you're never away from water.
Not only that, but then also at some point you're going to run into civilization simply
because it's near water.
And if you don't, then some other animal is going to find you and your life and be excited.
It's good.
Yeah, you're giving back to that starving bobcat.
Yeah, they have panthers out there.
Circle of life.
Oh God.
Is that Elton John?
Or Pumas.
I don't know.
Maybe they have Pumas.
I don't think they have Pumas in Texas.
No, they have Bengal tigers.
Unless you're talking about the shoes.
Are Pumas the same as mountain lions?
No.
Or similar?
I don't think so.
Oh, you don't say black?
Yes, you can say black.
Oh, really?
Well, I'm sure.
I mean, do they call them black Pumas anymore?
No, they just call them Pumas.
I think the black part is...
There is a difference between a panther and a Puma.
Well, I thought a Puma and a mountain lion were very similar.
A Puma and a mountain lion?
Yes.
What the hell?
What's a Puma?
We were supposed to have a big cat expert joining us tonight.
And a cougar.
Yeah, see?
Ladies and gentlemen, we'd like to welcome Mr. Paul Wool.
He's our mountaineer expert.
Thank you for having me.
I'm very excited to be here.
See, that's a mountain lion.
Yeah, I got cougars versus panthers.
That's a cougar and a panther.
What about a Puma and a cougar?
Is that the same thing?
You're not even reading what the difference is.
See, it belongs to the Puma genus.
Yeah, it's a cougar.
It's a cougar and a panther.
It's a Puma genus.
Puma genus?
Puma genus.
That's the female parts.
So they have seven important differences between...
You're talking about a Pupa.
Seven very important differences between a panther and a Puma.
Oh my God.
Well, we don't want to do a panther.
We want to do like a mountain lion and a Puma.
With table.
Do a mountain lion.
Seven important differences between a panther and a Puma.
No one really cares.
I think, you know what?
I think what's consistent among all of them is that they would all kill Sean wherever
he camps.
Yeah, that's true.
Nonetheless, I want to go camping out there, so shut the frack up.
Whatever.
And you know what's happening?
So that's it.
You guys need to be part of it.
We're either with you or against you.
I don't care, man.
You know what?
I've got enough points where I've got a free rental.
I'll drive down there.
I'll sleep in the car.
I don't give a shit.
You know, you hear these stories of these...
See, it's the same.
Remember that one family and their dog, or maybe it was a couple and a dog?
It was recent, right?
Yeah, they went out into...
And they just dehydrated.
They died.
And the dog.
Like this...
And the dog died.
Like, this happens not as infrequently as you would think.
Well, I know we've looked at doing Half Dome when we go out to my dad's.
And we looked into it.
And it's like a 13-hour thing.
Drive.
No, walk.
Did you say Half Dome?
Half Dome.
You're hiking for 13 hours?
Yes.
It's a commitment.
You got to think?
Yeah.
And there's a bunch of warnings.
It says, you know...
What the hell?
And...
That's why I want to bring one of those battery-powered, big-ass, fat, knobby-tired bicycles, which
can dig well.
You couldn't ride that on there.
Yeah.
Have you seen Half Dome?
It's like you're climbing up this thing, and it's like a rope your whole mountain.
Oh, nice.
Oh, I'll put the bike on my back.
Oh, I love that.
So we thought it's out...
You're such an environmental survivor.
Amazing.
So incredible.
We didn't do it because the kids were small, and I was like, I'm not dealing with the kids
climbing up this...
Like I said, dead in three minutes.
Half Dome.
I could see them tumbling off.
Oh, yeah.
So we never did it.
Oh, that's why you bailed on it?
Yeah, where it's like, yeah, I don't...
Don't want to assume that risk.
But we don't have to do that.
But out there at the Texas State Park, the Palo Duro Canyon, down at the very bottom,
they've got all these...
They've got a dozen different campsites, if not more.
Of course.
It's huge out there.
I mean, it's huge.
I didn't even get to the end.
Good grief.
It's Texas.
Everything's big down here.
What happens if we shut the door and lock her out?
What happens?
She starts to whine.
She would bark at the door and scratch.
She'd eat through the door?
Yeah.
She would.
So I would recommend that we pick the one that's by the freshwater.
I don't know how fresh it is, but I'm dying to try my little pump.
Yeah, your little survivor straw.
See if you get dysentery or brain...
No, this pump...
Guys, it didn't work.
This pump is supposed to do like 200 gallons.
It's one of these little survivalist things.
I'm starting to buy all these little trinkets just in case shit hits the fan one day.
What, the war starts?
Hey, you know what?
It's all fun and games until you guys don't have anything to drink.
You have a little padded backpack of trinkets.
Can you filter this shit water?
Hypothetically, you can.
If you go to this nasty...
No, just shit in your toilet.
Turn around with the straw.
Try it.
Suck it out.
Try it.
That's not going to happen.
Double dare.
You said it works.
Yeah, it works.
That's not happening.
You can't drink on it.
Obviously, you trust it.
Diarrhea in a bowl and then filter it.
We'll microwave it and stir it all up.
Yeah, how do they test that?
Bruce, you go dry it.
Come on.
I just bombed it.
Go do it.
So this thing...
The turnover rate on Glassdoor, it's like 99.9%.
It's got a cartridge that fits into the size of like a little beer can.
It's got a crank and it does about 200 gallons.
But once you use it once, you need to open it up and let the filter dry.
Because some people make a mistake by just using it and let it set there.
If it sets there, then mold's going to grow in it and stuff like that.
But it's got to dry it out.
If you dry it out, it'll last a very, very long time.
It'll do more than 200 gallons.
But you got to pick your battles too.
I mean, you're not going to sit there and stick it in a pile of shit and hoping to suck
out the water and the shit.
But if there's a muddy puddle and it's all you got, it's all you got.
But the spirit of the device is to stick it in some sort of stream of some sort.
Some natural spring.
For the most part clean.
You're just removing some of the deer poop.
But it filters it really well down to the...
Hell, we might as well have been breathing out of it.
We'd be COVID free.
Yeah, but it would have probably killed COVID.
Golly.
Have you watched Outlander this year?
Yes.
Did you see where all the people were getting sick because the big elk died upstream in
the water?
Okay, so hold on.
How many seasons are there?
This is seven just ended, I believe.
Okay, so we're on Netflix and we already watched one through five and it said new episodes
available.
So we got all excited because we thought there was a new season and we found out, no, we
already watched all that one through five.
Yeah, there's seven.
We just finished seven.
Yeah.
So there's six and seven.
So no, I have not seen them.
Don't tell me.
There's six.
We just watched the latest one.
But in that show...
Don't tell us.
That's exactly...
Okay.
Damn, you spoiled the whole thing.
Everybody dies because an elk died upstream.
Thanks a lot.
Correct.
And they were drinking the water.
No, I mean, it's real life.
Yeah.
That's real life.
You know what?
And I was wondering, suppose...
You know how some cities have like a water problem and they have to...
Like flint?
Yeah, like flint.
Yeah.
They have to load the pipes.
And I have that osmosis system under my sink, right?
I was thinking, oh hell, I've got 16,000 gallons of pool water that I could just hook my osmosis
system to.
Is that chlorine or salt water?
I don't think it works.
Well, it's chlorine.
Well, either way, it's chlorine.
Right?
How it's generating the chlorine is salt water versus whatever, right?
Yes.
I don't know how that works.
So the filter that I have will...
You get water when you're done.
No, no, but that osmosis system, can I...
I don't think it would work because I have to have pressure.
I have to have...
It gets hooked up to your pipes, isn't it?
Right now it is.
So if I unplug the whole thing because they shut it off, because like flint, I can't stick
the tube down in the pool and suddenly I start filtering pool water.
But what you can do is...
You have to force it through somehow, right?
You can fill up a five gallon bucket and hang it and then you create pressure.
Yeah.
Then you take the tube and you use the gravity where you drain your fish tank.
I'm sure it'd be slow.
Or whatever.
Or you could just boil it.
Just like Sean who's drinking out of a muddy puddle.
You could distill it.
It saves my life.
Slow.
You just boil it.
Capture the steam.
What if I had no gas?
No heat?
Well, you get your woods and you have like a nice fire outside.
And you get your solar panels.
That's not realistic.
Yeah, just put them on your solar panel.
You know what's funny?
We were talking about electricity this past Saturday.
Cook some eggs on my solar panel.
And Shelley was kind of like...
We were talking about the electricity.
Remember at my house?
And I was like, it's like 200 bucks.
And Shelley was kind of like, shut the fuck up.
And I was like, no, really.
But it's not accurate.
You were lying.
No, I sent her last month's bill and it was $262.
I don't believe it.
I think you...
Well, you do that aggregate.
Does it matter?
Aggregate billing.
No.
Does it matter?
Yes.
No, it's not aggregate.
It's per month because it's a broker.
That means it's the actual costs because they buy...
They will switch electric companies nonstop.
They'll go to the lowest bidder.
But you could potentially have a really big one at some point.
You could, but it's all driven by market price.
It's like an arm mortgage.
So theoretically you could have one that shows up as $4,000.
Yeah, he has an adjustable rate utility bill.
Whereas if you go to TXU, they're like,
we're locking you in at nine cents a gallon or whatever, kilowatt.
Yeah, but what are the chances of that happening?
Well, it happened the last freeze.
I was going to say, there are companies that got stuck with million dollar utility bills.
That's what happened during the freeze.
Yes, that was crazy.
Because they're on the adjustable thing.
I'm not saying that you...same thing, but I wonder if it could happen if they're shopping around
and if everything was high and they're still going with the lowest, it could still be high.
Yeah, you're screwed.
I don't know.
You know what I do know?
I'm pulling back on this Frey bourbon and it's got a little minty taste to it.
It's not good. I don't like it.
It's all right.
We haven't talked about it though.
Well, it's classified as a straight bourbon.
It's from Nevada.
Are you tasting it?
Yeah.
I don't know what that is.
Would you like some mint in your refrigerator or something from the ice cubes?
No, I mixed it with Crest.
Crest.
Colgate.
So it's 90 proof and it's at least four years.
It's 66.6 corn.
It's winter rye, which is an interesting choice.
11.4% winter rye.
And then they did a 10% winter wheat.
So they kind of mixed it.
In fact, it says...
It's a four grain.
We like four grains.
Yeah, that is interesting.
Yeah, but I don't like this.
The two-row barley.
That is so interesting.
And this is one that I found out when I was visiting my dad out in Nevada.
And it's in Fallon, Nevada.
And it's supposedly just...
Well, actually it says right here.
It's a 165-year-old, 1500-acre family farm.
And they grow all the grains there apparently.
Very nice.
I respect that.
And they distill it there.
Everything.
It's in Nevada.
That's cool.
Yeah.
And that's...
You know, I've never seen it out here.
Right?
So I saw it out there.
It was everywhere.
They grow all their grains out there.
So they're self-sufficient.
Yeah.
So they grow everything and distill it.
So they had it everywhere.
And all the grocery stores.
I got this one at Costco.
It was $35 at Costco.
Oh, it's a brand new bourbon.
Yeah.
First batch released in 2015.
No, no, no.
It's distilled in 2015.
Released in 2020.
2020.
Well, this is batch number four.
If that says anything.
Oh, no shit.
I don't know what our batch is.
Mr. Producer, what's the batch number on this one?
It's bottle five.
So anyway...
What was that noise?
Everyone that...
It's five, yeah.
...I was out there said that it was really, really good.
So that's why I picked it up.
I was like, and we can't get this, and it's a local,
and I wanted to try a local one.
Yeah, I'm good with that.
I mean, it's not horrible, horrible.
I'm just saying, I'm not a big fan.
I tell you what, the bottle...
I mean, it's not like to die for, but you know...
Yeah, I think it's all right.
The more it sits here...
It's on a good list.
I think it's all right.
I think it's middle to maybe just a little over middle for me.
Yeah.
I'm interested to...
I would love to be able to differentiate,
because they've got the winter rye and the winter wheat.
What the fuck does that mean?
You know, I mean, is there a summer rye and a summer wheat?
Yeah, different types of wheat.
Is there a spring and a fall?
Or an autumnal?
How about some summer sausage?
What was the last one?
Autumnal.
Autumnal wheat.
Yeah, yeah.
You guys have full sausage.
It's a summer sausage.
What is that, the aqua...
What is it?
Equinox?
Equinox wheat.
And so, anyway...
Equinox.
The one aqua-nix.
You know, one of the things that I also looked at was this bottle is probably one of the
heaviest bottles we have.
The cap...
Very impressive bottle.
The cap that, when you pull the cap off, it's not a cork.
It's plastic, but that's okay.
It's beefy.
No, it's cork.
It's like...
Well, it's a cork, but it's a plastic cork.
Yeah.
Okay.
So, when I say cork, I'm referring to like the wood cork.
It's not...
I got you.
Not the top.
Not a wood top.
It's a plastic top with a cork, not a wood top.
But it was beefy.
It was like a big metal.
It was like a grenade.
You hold it in your hand.
You'd knock somebody else.
Well, it's a metal top.
It's a bronzed metal of some sort.
They also have a nice embedded seal in the glass bottle.
I like that too.
Yeah.
So, it's quite beefy bottle.
We may, once this is gone, may turn this bottle into one of our infinities.
Yeah.
A small version of it, right?
The color is golden oak.
It averaged around 50 bucks a bottle.
90 per...
So, it's a sweet circus of...
There we go.
Sweet citrus.
Sweet citrus over dense oak and candy corn lay the groundwork.
There's your spearmint.
Yeah.
Is that what that is?
Candy corn?
Candy corn.
Medium intensity affords approachability with a noticeable lack of heat.
A transition to light spearmint.
There you go.
Baking spice provides a moderate depth but also a degree of excitement.
It's an enjoyable aroma that works well when it comes together.
Okay, so that's the nose.
Okay, that was the finish.
Or actually, that was the palate when I was...
Oh, yeah, you're right.
You're right.
The spearmint, I was noticing in the palate.
I know the first one.
When I first poured it, there was a lot of ethanol.
A lot.
And then once that burned off, you could start picking up some...
Remember I said I smelled berries?
Berries, right.
I wonder if that's what they're calling the sweet candy corn.
That's possible.
That was the guy that was put in the barrel.
You heard that story.
Oh, yeah, they found it in New Jersey or something like that.
He was in a barrel of rum or a barrel of bourbon.
They stuffed his body in there and people were like,
wow, this barrel is amazing.
And they found out there was a body in there.
And they were drinking human-like...
Dead, bloated tissue...
Didn't they see chunks or was it clowny or something?
That may be an urban legend.
We'd have to have the producer look that up.
I do not want him to look that up because I think...
Dead body in a bourbon barrel.
So scroll down a little bit, Mr. Producer.
All right, never mind.
So what's unique about this, it says the estate distilling
isn't a new concept in American whiskey,
but because of the knowledgeable or the knowledge base,
manpower space and cost needed to pull it off,
it isn't exactly all the common either.
It's not exactly all that common either.
While many brands claim grain to glass
or similar reworkings of that phrase,
not all farms to bottle whiskeys are created equal.
So what is unique about this?
Jeff, what is it?
I don't know.
The concept of terrier is a popular one in the world of wines
and has slowly been developing more prominence in American whiskey.
This is kind of hard to read.
Well, yeah, they're using all these bullshit words.
There are certainly strong arguments for both,
but there is something to be said of knowing that a product
is a direct result of the land and the people.
So I guess what they're saying is that what's unique
about this particular bourbon or whiskey, is this a bourbon?
Yes, it's a bourbon.
Is that this is all from a 165-year-old farm.
So this is all from that one region.
They do all the wheat, they do all the rye, they do the grains.
This isn't an MGP that they put together.
They do their own.
They grow their own, and they don't buy their grains from anywhere.
They grow it themselves, all of it.
That's admirable.
That's a state distilling.
They're totally self-contained, which is super cool.
I love that.
So if the world comes to shit, and this is like a Mad Max layout,
that's where I want to be.
I'm getting the Mohawk.
That's the first thing you're doing if the world goes to shit?
Paint it red.
You can do that now.
I'm going to be an assless chaps.
You had me until...
Didn't that one character, did he have that?
So let's recap, ladies and gentlemen.
If the world were coming to an end, the first thing Jeff would do is get a Mohawk.
It's like screw it.
And we're assless chaps.
He's going to die at red.
What he hasn't told us is what he's going to do.
We know how you're going to look.
What are you going to do?
You're going to hop on your truck.
Oh, you know what, speaking of your truck,
while I was in Amarillo, I saw many versions of your truck
because I was out in oil land.
And what is unique is that your truck has those...
Appendages.
...mounts.
Cattle grates.
No, it's on the passenger side of the vehicle.
It basically looks like...
A trailer hitch on the side.
A trailer hitch.
I've always known what that's for.
You have?
Yeah, no, I saw that on your truck and I was like,
why is there a trailer hitch on the side of the truck?
So what I was watching...
And I told you.
...when I was pulled over on the side of the road
looking at rocks and stuff was that these trucks would come by
and they had Jeff's little attachment on the drivers,
on the passenger side.
And they would shove it there.
Tumbleweed collector?
Pipes.
Yeah, they carry pipes.
They carry pipes.
So you put like a big little arm or something out there
and you put pipes out there.
You know the pipes they shove it...
Are there two connectors along the side?
Oh, so it's like a trailer on the side of your truck.
Well, sort of.
Kind of, but...
They only have like two or three pipes,
but these are really beefy pipes.
Those are the pipes that go down into the earth.
Into the earth.
Yeah, when I purchased the truck...
For drilling.
Yeah, yeah, of course.
Yeah, when I purchased the truck,
they said it was an oil company executive's truck.
Nice.
Because it was top of the line,
had all the shit and everything, so...
Yeah, it's a nice truck.
They said usually when you have those on the side,
they're the work trucks.
Right.
So it was kind of cool to...
And what was it doing here?
Where'd you buy it?
I don't know, I brought it in Greenville.
How'd it end up here?
I have no idea.
That's crazy.
People trying to sell the truck, you know.
You got to hide the dead body.
You know, a lot of times,
I see them transporting used cars all over the place.
Right.
Like on, you know, car carriers.
It could have been on an auction for all we know.
Right, that's a good point.
And then they bought it, whatever company owns it.
Right.
So, I'm a brain bourbon, in my opinion,
on a scale of 1 to 10, gets a 7.5.
Oh, geez.
I go...
The highest I'll go is 5.
I'm about a 6.5 to a 7.
It's not bad.
You know...
I think it's different.
When it downstairs,
I'd probably have a different opinion downstairs.
Now that it's kind of off-gassed a little bit,
and, you know...
And you're like, buzzing.
No, I've got a cube in it.
It's kind of dumbed down a little bit.
The flavors are starting to pop a little bit more.
It's a little bit caustic.
It tastes good.
I like it.
Yeah, I think it tastes different
than some of the other bourbons.
I'm taking one more objective poll.
I have some other flavors in there.
Maybe it's the apricot.
I don't know.
It's really sweet, man.
I can taste the apricot.
I can taste the toffee.
I won't go higher than 5.
Sorry.
It's fruity.
This is a dessert run for me.
Paul's a snob.
That's not a dessert at all.
There's nothing sweet about this.
I taste it.
You're spearmint.
No.
All right.
Anyway, all right.
So that's the bourbon.
That's the bourbon.
The first half bourbon.
I'm excited about the second half bourbon.
I wanted to bring up something,
because while I was out in Amarillo,
there was a new story.
There was some kind of weird thing,
and it reminded me of when I lived out in New Jersey.
And when I was a kid, I was...
We did...
I think it was the Boy Scouts or Cub Scouts.
I forget which one.
And we did a day and a half trip.
We spent the night over,
and we went to a place called Action Park, New Jersey,
which was an amusement park.
And just kind of being out there in that area
kind of reminded me, even though it's completely different.
I mean, it's really green out in New Jersey.
But it was just the adventure of the style out there.
This action park has a water park,
and they've got these little go-karts that...
You know, they're not go-karts.
They basically... It's like a train go-kart.
It's basically a seat you sit on with wheels,
and you're in this little semi-circle, little concrete path.
And you get on this little scooter,
and you go down on this little rail.
And it's basically...
Oh, I know what you're talking about.
You know, and it's...
Oh, like that right there.
Yeah, they have the picture.
Yeah, there you go.
Looks like a covert.
It's like a long slide, essentially.
A little cement.
I did that in Germany.
That's awesome.
Yeah.
I did that in Austria.
It might have been Austria.
I did it on the moon.
Damn it, you win.
Bitch.
Yeah, no, you won that one.
Yes.
No, it's called...
Oh, there's a word for it.
Anyway, keep going.
Beluge.
Yeah, so just to describe it,
you're in a cart, and you've got a pull brake, right?
So can you go balls out if you wanted to?
Yes.
I wouldn't put my balls out.
No, I mean, without touching the brake.
If you don't touch the brake, could you just...
Yeah, you're...
Haulin' ass.
You're not gonna wanna do that.
You're gonna wanna apply the brakes.
Do they tell you you need to use the brakes on this,
or you go flying off?
Well, you don't really have a choice,
because there are so many riders out there,
and they're like every...
I don't even know.
They would say, all right, you go, wait a minute, all right, you go.
And if you start haulin' ass,
you're gonna catch up to the person in front of you.
You're gonna hit him.
You don't wanna hit that person,
because it's gonna suck.
Unless it's your brother or something like that.
Yeah, but dumb shits do that.
There's videos out there of that happening.
Yeah, well...
Cranking into the back of these people.
Yeah.
Well, I remember, because I had the Action Park shirt.
I remember it was black, and it was a half top, you know?
What do you mean, a cutoff?
So fucking gay.
It was a cutoff where it just...
It was a cutoff.
It was like a tube top?
Right under your boob.
That is a cutoff.
Was there like a little underhand?
I remember I had my little...
Oh, now you had undermoo.
Under boob?
Undermoo.
Boob.
That was before I was weighed 500 pounds, you know?
And I had my little happy show going down.
It was all hairy.
Hold on.
Give me revisit that undermoo.
I think that's hilarious.
That's what we have now.
So gross.
Oh, God.
It looked like I was wearing the shirt from the lead singer
of the anthology Babies, you know?
You lost me on that one.
Who's the anthology Baby?
Well, the Babies was...
God, what's his name?
Jonathan Kandert.
Wait, wait, wait.
John Wait.
Wait.
Oh, John Wait?
Yeah.
Oh, he was such a queer.
Ooh.
Wasn't he?
I don't know.
I don't believe so.
Like Billy Squire?
Billy Squire?
Well, he's not...
Wearing the cutoff shirt.
He looked extremely effeminate during that video.
Yeah, he did.
That destroyed his career.
We've talked about that before.
Especially that 480s music video where he's...
That's what I'm talking about.
...faulting and crawling all over the floor.
Don't you wanna live?
What was that?
What was the song?
Sing that again.
I don't know.
Rock me on every song.
Is that it?
Actually, I don't know.
What was the name of that?
No, I think it was a more of a stroke me.
No, it wasn't stroke me.
No, it's not stroke me.
It would have been appropriate, though.
I don't know, Mr. Producer.
It was so...
Billy Squire, pink shirt video.
Come on.
He's not with the program.
Yeah, so Billy Squire had this music video.
It destroyed his career.
And he had fans that were blowing, and he had like some sort of...
He had just a face full of makeup,
and he was on all fours crawling and...
At the camera.
And it was just like what?
He was kind of clawing at the camera.
What is going on here?
Rock me tonight?
Rock me tonight.
No, I don't think that's it, though.
Are you sure?
It's a great song.
He has so many good...
He was a completely underrated artist in my opinion.
That may be it.
This has got to be it.
That may be it.
Oh, yeah.
Where he's doing his arms in a weird way.
Get some volume.
Oh, no.
Oh, and he's doing his arms in a really weird way.
Oh, my gosh.
Oh, it's like Beyond Gay.
Oh, no, he's crawling around on the floor.
I'm waiting for the pelvic thrust.
I had that shirt.
The police synchros through the city.
It's a great song, though.
Okay, so he's not in a pink shirt.
He's in a torn up like Madonna.
Oh, hold on.
Things are going to change.
Oh, no.
There we go.
The shirt he just threw up in the air.
So he sat there and watched us when this was done.
Anyway, that looks good.
Oh, he's got pink pants on.
Well, whatever.
I mean, that was the thing.
Oh, and he tore his shirt off.
Look at that.
That's hot.
There, now he's got the pink shirt on.
Oh, he put a pink shirt on.
Oh, he looks like something out of Madonna,
Like A Virgin music video.
We've all danced like this in the house.
I do it every night.
The way he does his hands.
I'm naked in the shower.
Oh, no.
Oh, no, he's like pole dancing or something.
He is.
Oh, that was lame, too.
That wasn't a very good pole dance.
What he was doing was like smacking his junk.
So I did.
I did.
He said in an article that this basically changed his career,
which is unfortunate because he was talented.
He had a lot of good songs.
Yeah, he did.
You think, well, yeah, I could see that, but he did.
And his voice is, he's got a great voice.
Great voice.
You know, he can hit all those notes out there.
You know, I don't.
I don't know what you're talking about.
I mean, what I do understand is how he watched that.
And when this is a great video, whoever that director was,
should have been shot.
That was like the precursor to love.
Snake snake, white, white snake.
What's that white snake with the.
Well, that's Tanya whatever on.
The car, but that seemed like that was the precursor to it.
That was the whole 80s.
That wasn't a dude being weird.
She just died recently too.
Yeah.
Thank you, Jeff.
No, we did talk about what she died of.
You remember?
Anal cancer.
Wow.
Well, that was fair or false.
No.
Yeah.
Sorry.
I don't know about that.
I don't know what she died of.
No, it doesn't matter.
We're not going over deaths right now.
We're doing uplifting things.
Oh.
Talking about amusement parks that Sean went to.
Yes.
Yeah.
I went to this particular one.
And yeah, what about you guys?
I mean, locally here in Dallas, we have the Six Flags
over Texas.
I think it's garbage, by the way.
Do you?
I do.
I loved it when I was a kid, but now it's stupid.
I am, because we had an outstanding, I think,
one of the better amusement parks.
Oh, is this in Ohio?
In Cincinnati.
Cincinnati?
There's an amusement park up there.
There's two of them, actually.
That's really, really good.
What I used to go to all the time is called Kings Island.
And I lived, you know, we'd go up there.
So I had to pass this.
It's rather sexist.
That is.
Yeah, it was a Queens Island.
Oh, not a Billy Squire Island.
No, it was Kings Island.
And that'd be Queen.
And actually, the Brady Bunch had a TV show there.
I don't know if you remember the Brady Bunch.
They went to an amusement park.
Were you there when they were filming?
No.
Did you get Janet's number?
I did.
She had her cell phone.
First edition.
Yeah, first edition cell phone.
Full backpack.
So they have.
Greg Brady, you're so dreamy.
I think one of the greatest roller coasters ever
is called the Beast.
Wasn't Greg banging the Alistair weight mate?
No.
No, he was banging Marsha.
I don't believe it.
Like, in real life, though.
We're talking about real life.
I think him and Marsha, Marsha, Marsha.
I don't think so.
I think he was banging the.
I bet they did.
They're going through teenage years.
Greg was having sex with the maid.
Alice, what is her name?
No.
No, I see it.
The rumor was that the eldest son was having sex with the mom.
Really?
I don't think that's true.
So look up the Beast.
So the Beast opened in.
Is that Sandy Duncan?
It's like taboo, like the porno.
The Beast opened in 1980.
I remember.
The dad was gay.
In real life.
He was.
He was gay.
He died of AIDS.
How horrible.
Really?
Yes, he did.
Because of Rock Hudson?
Well.
Could be.
I don't know.
I don't know where he caught it.
Freddie Mercury?
But the Beast is the largest and longest wooden roller coaster
in the world.
Oh, wow.
It looks impressive.
Is it still up?
Still there?
Actually, that got knocked down.
That was a terrible roller coaster.
That was the son of Beast.
They tried to emulate it.
And it was terrible.
But the Beast, greatest roller coaster I've ever ridden.
And it goes way back in the woods.
It's not like your standard roller coaster.
It goes way back in the woods and tunnels, hold on yards.
It goes up to, I think, 76 miles an hour or something like that.
It's fast.
That sounds safe.
Yeah, these roller coasters that they build nowadays
are just engineering masterpieces.
I remember talking about roller coasters
because there was a guy that jumped two fences
and got his head taken off.
Yeah, but that was the first time.
Didn't we talk about this?
No, well, not from this perspective.
What, keeping your head on?
Yeah, well, don't, you know.
I don't know if you could get to that.
Well, hold on.
Look at that picture.
It kind of looks like cock and balls.
It's like, it's about almost a.
Did you say it's about a mile?
It's about a 3 and 1 half minute ride, roller coaster.
That's impressive.
That's nice.
Yeah, it's like 7,000 feet or something like that.
So it's over a mile.
The perfect roller coaster is one that kind of, it doesn't.
I'm going to use the word jostle,
but I don't even know if that's not enough.
It does or it doesn't.
A lot of these roller coasters jerk the shit out of you.
Well, Texas Giant.
Oh, my God.
Made my back like.
I think Texas Giant is, again, I compare everything to the beast.
There's a Texas Giant, the big wooden one.
Yeah.
OK.
It's awful.
I enjoy it.
I'll never get it.
I'm old.
If you ever make it up to Cincinnati, go to King's Island.
Well, let's go.
Let's do a Dudes Like Us visit.
How long does it take?
It's a 15 hour drive to get up there.
We'll stay with your sister.
And we'll do a remote podcast.
There you go.
But they have some outstanding rides there.
And it's been a few years since I've been, obviously.
But I've ridden the beast probably 500 times.
500?
So you went there a lot.
Right?
Oh, I had season pass.
You were one of those kids that had a membership.
Well, I don't know me anymore.
But yeah, I had season passes.
I'm sure they know you.
You just show up and you'll be like, oh, that's Jeff.
Their family could afford season passes.
Season passes.
Couldn't afford fucking milk, but you got season passes.
Yeah, how about that?
We'd be sitting around the house bored going,
what do you want to do?
Let's go ride the beast.
So we'd go up there and ride the beast two or three times
and come home.
Wow, you were that close?
Yeah, we were close.
Anyway, so I recommend that.
So I compare all my roller coasters
to that wooden ones anyway.
Steel ones are different.
But the wooden roller coasters.
Those are smoother.
They're not so rickety.
Yeah, this one is wooden.
It's not going to kill you like the Texas giant.
What is the smoothest roller coaster you've ever been on?
One of the metal ones, like the Texas.
I think it's Grease Lightning.
I think the.
That's a freaking awesome one.
You don't know what I'm talking about?
No.
It's at Six Flags.
It goes like this.
It goes a loop.
It goes up.
Yeah, it's the metal ones.
That's it.
It's the metal tubular ones that are smooth.
It's really awesome.
Well, the Batman ride, in my opinion.
It's a good one.
Is the Cadillac, because it doesn't
jerk the shit out of you.
Right.
You're sitting in these little individual seats
and your feet dangle, and it twists and does loops.
Yeah, we had we had what there used
to be one of Kings Island called the King Cobra, where
you're standing in a roller coaster.
Yeah, you're standing and weird.
It had that it had like a little bicycle seat, right?
But you were standing and you were strapped in.
Were you embracing the person in front of you?
Oh, nice.
Or was someone embrace?
It was like a love ride.
Nut to butt.
Oh, not to butt ride.
No.
So it was just a regular come, but you're standing and you do it.
They had a loop and everything.
And that was cool.
It is cool.
But yeah, we they back to the where you did you
have to embrace the person in front of you or not to butt
them.
So you were in these little slots.
You're not a butter.
We had I think two.
It was just like a regular thing.
It to the to the to the to.
Right.
What do you mean?
Of course, not embracing anybody.
You're standing.
No, they're separated.
But you're standing car instead of sitting.
You're standing.
Yeah.
OK, so I'm trying to figure out how you're in this little
like chewing gum.
Well, you weren't on top of people when you were sitting.
Look up.
Kings Island, King Cobra.
Oh, were you on people?
Were you not strapped in appropriately and you were
flying out and died?
Well, I mean, have you ever you have ever like anticipated
when those cameras are going to show up and do something silly?
And you did what?
Yeah, there it is right there.
Flash the camera.
No, I mean, I don't recall ever doing that,
but there's been plenty of women that have.
There it is right.
Women.
That's what you look like.
I mean, not to turn this dark, but you
heard about the guy that fell out and died.
Well, that happened out of Texas.
Or I'm sorry, the Six Flags over text was a lady.
But no, no, no, no, no, no, I'm talking about I'm
talking about the African-American teenager
that was old.
That was recent.
Yeah, he was over not not over.
He wasn't overweight.
He was over over the size limit type of thing.
Correct.
And he's almost like Brandeck.
He was like he was in high school, six, five, 300 pounds.
And it was one of is one of those ones that were there way
up there and the whole thing like just falls and then
they rise them up type of thing.
Well, they he just slipped out and.
Yeah, died.
I hope he died instantly, man.
Oh, yeah.
Well, yeah, you hit the ground.
You sure, man.
I mean, God.
And it's a major deal.
It's going to be a big deal, like from a lawsuit
perspective, because and then there's audio.
There's audio from from from what happened.
And the guy's like the light turned on, man, like the guys
that were working it were they 17, 18 years old, right?
Apparently, there's a thing where when the thing comes down,
the light turns on and they just look at it and they go,
oh, the light came on.
I'm out of here.
Well, apparently, the mechanism would have manipulated
to where the light just turns on, like.
Oh, really?
And they don't check it, right?
I mean, and they should have.
Anyway, bad news.
Well, anytime someone does.
Oh, it's awful.
There is a lady.
This is 100 percent awful.
There's a lady about 10 years ago.
Yeah.
Out at the Texas giant who when they still just have the lap,
she was overweight.
Yeah.
And it didn't secure secure her and didn't secure.
And she flew out.
Wow.
The Texas giant and then hit all kinds of stuff and died.
Right. Right.
And it was probably going down 60 miles an hour and come flying
out, hitting the wood.
Imagine.
Yeah, she was out there with her family.
I mean, can you do you guys know?
That's why you go out there now.
And there's all this stuff.
That's why, because they shut it down and put all that stuff.
Right.
There's like an hour long checklist.
Yeah.
And it's like this huge harness that you have to put on.
Yeah.
Do you guys hear about I mean, I try not.
I'm not this whole Johnny Depp.
Oh, yeah.
I'm trying to I'm trying to stay out of it.
You know, I'm trying to because it's first of all, stupid.
It's somebody's personal business.
Why the fuck is it on the news?
Cool.
Because it's not.
No, it's on court TV.
Streamed live.
It's nonstop.
And the bitch is lying.
Everyone knows she's lying.
She's you know, it's just like and here's the deal.
If if Johnny Depp's what do they call it?
They get it. You got to do something when the other side lies and gets caught.
Yeah. Perjuring was what it is.
The the the claimant has to.
In this case, I don't know who the claimant, the defendant is that, you know,
well, he is showing up, he is suing he is suing her.
So and she's counter at this point.
Johnny needs to he's got to call her out and they're not calling her out.
And if they don't do it, something's going to be thrown out.
Well, his attorney's calling her calling her out like, is that what it is?
Oh, yeah. Call her out.
I don't know. Right. I'm sure.
No, no, it's a jury.
It's a jury decision.
It's a jury, a civil trial.
God, man, this is absolutely ridiculous.
And if you live under a rock, if you've been living under a rock, here's the deal.
So they got divorced in 2016, I believe.
And then she came out and put a bed, an op ed into the New York Times
that said that she had been in an abusive relationship.
And she didn't name who it was, but it was obvious that she was calling it him.
John Depp. And then he he ended up losing gigs, namely Pirates of the Caribbean.
And the Harry Potter movie.
Yeah. Oh, yes.
Yes. Something the Dumbledore.
He was grim, Grindelwald.
He was a bad guy. He's a bad guy. Right.
So anyway, he ended up starting to lose gigs and lose favor as an A-lister in Hollywood.
And then so he, you know, sued her for 60 million, 50 million.
She turned around and counter sued him for 100 million.
So now we are the showdown of I wouldn't even say they're heavyweights.
I mean, Amber Heard was in Aquaman.
She was the redhead.
And she is the next one, too, but they've they've severely pared her down.
OK, so what what else has she been in?
Like, is she an A-lister? I wouldn't call her an A-lister.
She's she knew to the scene and she was in and she's young.
She's in her early thirties now, I think. Right.
Anyway, so he she counter sued for 100 million and they'd be going at it.
And they're in court TV.
And and I will tell you, it's very interesting.
Here's my interesting takeaway.
Johnny Depp is rich.
Like incredibly famous.
And he's not as rich as he used to. I know.
But women are like just all over him, like goo goo gaga.
And yet he was in in in a relationship
that was like mentally and emotionally abusive
to where he was like a shell of a man. Correct.
That's incredible to me.
And you know what?
That's a good thing for us to reflect on, because I think we seem to think
money cures everything. Money cures everything.
Thank you. Money and fame. Money and fame.
Doesn't it? Doesn't it?
Does it? At the end of the day, you're a human with emotions
and you can you can be manipulated and you can be abused.
But here's the thing also that, you know, with with
he got rich as a child, you know, 21 Jump Street.
And that kind of just launched him into fame and rich. Right.
You know, he never got a chance to emotionally mature.
You think so? No, absolutely.
Because if you become emotional, he's a boy in a man's body.
That's sort of I'm just you know, like Michael Jackson.
Yeah, well, look, he's he's
what did he like to do show without the he like to stare
at the to the without some boys buttholes.
Yeah, without the molestation.
Same exact thing.
Same exact thing without the molestation.
Now, my point by saying that is about
about specifically about Johnny Depp is just he's just emotionally immature.
I mean, if you're still going, I mean, look, how old is dude?
Sixty something, right? Is he not?
He might be in the fifties like us.
Well, no, he's either. He's a dude like he's very close to 60.
If he's not 60.
But my point is, is that he's still a sessorized 58.
He's 58. You know, he's got he's got to do his nails.
He's got like what my point is, you know, rings, bracelets,
it just all these. Well, that's a pirate.
But that's a no, no, no.
You embrace the pirate. OK.
Now, my point is that it is he's Bohemian.
There becomes a part point in your life where you got to identify as you
in bare naked, sort of speak.
You know, you can't be dependent on your status and all this.
You need to you need to exist because of you and what you bring into life.
You mean like a like a red mohawk and Astel Chaps?
Yes, I like it.
Mad Max style.
He didn't have an opportunity.
Well, he's in a rock band. You know that?
No, that's cool.
She plays guitar.
I thought we were going to start a band. What happened?
You got hurt. Yeah. Oh, shut up.
You do you. You didn't practice your.
I went over there and I brought you a big thing.
You've been practicing every night since that man.
I could I am air drumming it.
You know, they call really Eddie Van Halen.
If he weren't dead, he'd be praising me right now.
I know that's a sad story.
Oh, did you hear Valerie Bertinelli getting a divorce
from Eddie Van Halen?
He's dead. Really?
No, her second husband.
They were already divorced. Alex Van Halen.
Oh, that's so wrong. Who was she married to? David Lee Ron.
Sammy Hagar.
Dude, what the fuck? I don't know who she married to.
Is she getting a divorce? Is it Al?
And you have to think, did Eddie's death have something to do with?
Probably made her realize that Eddie was her true love, right?
Well, I thought I'm wondering, you know, you don't want to read
into the stuff because you have no idea.
But she's going to divorce from Tom from Tom Vitali.
Anyway, I thought that was interesting.
That was so soon after.
So Valerie Bertinelli filed for divorce from husband Tom Vitali on Thursday.
The actress and Food Network star cited irreconcilable differences
as the cause for the divorce in the L.A.
Supreme Court of California documents obtained by the USA.
So what did you say?
So soon afterwards, what did you say?
You said it's been a year.
It's been a couple of years since he's died.
Well, I mean, maybe a year.
Nearly nine years after their nuptials,
they separated in 2019 and filed for the legal separation.
Man, time flies. Is he a redhead?
He is not. He's a baldhead.
Let me see. Let me see.
Looks like love isn't a big enough word.
Valerie Bertinelli on Eddie Van Halen writing cathartic book,
the Valerie's home cooking star spoke to USA Today in January
and got candid about a relationship with the rocker Eddie Van Halen
of the Troubles, plaguing her second marriage, which are documented
in her memoirs. See enough already.
And then losing Eddie, I think rocked her world.
I think it did. So Bertinelli refers to Van Halen in the book as a soulmate.
Did you hear that?
Bertinelli refers to Eddie Van Halen in the book as her soulmate, but
he's like shit of your current husband.
Then why? Why couldn't they?
Why? Why? Why couldn't love conquer all?
Why? Well, I don't know.
My parents couldn't live with each other anymore.
Yeah, I get it. But they spent all their time together.
They just went separate ways at the end of the night.
He lived in his house. She lived in hers.
That's so bizarre.
But they went on vacations together.
You know, relationships are bizarre.
Yes. Went on vacations together.
They went out to dinner all the time, went to movies, everything.
Really? They just lived in different houses.
Well, you know, currently my my wife and I are kind of like that.
Hold on. What's your no, no, I didn't mean to interrupt.
What's your take on that?
That's that they couldn't live with each other.
So it was literally just proximity thing.
I think so.
Now, they ultimately remarried.
When my dad retired, my mom retired.
OK, they retired out to Tahoe together.
Well, I didn't know that.
Yeah, they remarried.
They remarried. So they realized what are we doing?
Yeah, basically.
Basically. OK, well, that has a happy ending.
So they're divorced.
I was 18 and he was well, Stephen was.
So 2002 when they got remarried ish right around there.
Wow. OK.
So 1987, so they were separated for 14 years.
Maybe that's amazing. That's amazing.
Go back to your story. Well, life is amazing.
And all the the bouncing around that you do and, you know,
it it's kind of it's kind of curious on on on why people separate.
And yeah, you know, there's honestly it's sometimes they just need a break.
Yeah, you know, they need to reset in life.
If I were to focus that light on me,
just from one little snippet, I I enjoy sleeping in a separate bed.
And here's the thing.
Set aside for my snoring, which disrupts my wife.
CPAP machine. Yeah. Yeah.
And solutions, blah, blah, blah.
Loosen way. God, yeah.
And what off disrupt polonize as well.
So yeah, yeah, there's there's more to it.
So it's not it's not just the story.
But for me, it's kind of like, hey, look, when I'm sleeping,
you know, I want to fart.
I want to burp. I want to I want to stretch all that stuff.
I want to you burping you.
Well, not everybody has a wife like yours.
Well, I burp and fart in my sleep. Yeah.
Now, I'm not talking when you're asleep.
I'm just saying just in the bed. Yes.
I want to show respect for my wife because she doesn't like it.
She farts on me. My wife farts on me.
She says my wife does on you.
Yeah, if I'm spooning and my leg is, you know, I've heard my fart.
So when you guys are like tonight, tonight, we're going to get busy.
Well, she farts.
I don't believe I said that.
She kind of straddles your face and farts on you.
OK, no.
And you said I said, sit on my face.
Ever seen the cartoon of the lump of shit on the guy's forehead?
Good Lord. Yeah, no, we've never partaken in that.
Yeah. No, my point is we don't shit on each other is that even like in
the the leave it to beavers, the cleavers, the beavers.
What the fuck? I believe the cleavers.
I think Van Dyke also.
They had they had cleavers.
They had separate beds.
The husband of Lucy, Fred, Fred and Wilma Flintstone.
They had separate beds.
Easy. You're trying to normalize things.
All I'm saying is that sometimes it is healthy to have separate beds.
Sometimes it may be healthy to have separate rooms.
There is nothing wrong with that.
I don't think there's anything wrong with that.
As long as you both are you talk about it and you're OK with it.
Well, there you go.
Does that make sense?
In like what Jeff's parents went through, they had separate beds.
They did talk about it.
They were OK with it.
You know, they hung out.
They had dinner.
They had breakfast.
They did all kinds of things together.
But at the end of the night, they were like, yeah, you go ahead and go to
your house and I'm going to go to mine.
I think that's fantastic.
I think it's great that you can have a relationship like that and still be
monogamous, so to speak, you know, you know, you just give me just because
you don't have to live under the same roof to be monogamous.
So when they got back and I know this is really personal, but when they
got back together, did they ever communicate that it was a mistake to separate?
No, that was the only time that I called that I cussed at my mother when
she called me.
She had to get drunk in order to tell me this.
I remember the phone call.
Yeah, and they got married on the same day that Julie and I got married
as far as the day of the month.
Right.
And no, no, no, no, right.
Not on the day you were married anniversary.
So when she called me on that day, maybe the next day, she had been
drinking and she goes, I wanted to tell you that your dad and I just
got remarried and I called her.
I called both of them.
I said, you guys are fucking idiots to put you through that.
Yeah, I was like, why did you do this?
Basically, that was the only time I ever said that she just laughed
and says, I don't know.
You know, it's just we just got married again and they're very happy.
She was very she was extremely happy.
And that's just hung up the phone shaking your head going, what the hell?
No, I said all that matters is that you guys are happy.
Good for you.
Right.
I was like, you know, I knew you guys should have done this a long time
ago. You guys should never have happened to begin with.
You spent all your time together.
You want to vacation together.
You're retiring together.
Right.
The whole night should have just separated.
Well, there's dudes like this that the interesting fall into those
little pockets of life experiences and you know, who knows?
I mean, there's a lot of directions.
There are consequences for any direction you take your life.
If you want to take your life left, there's consequences.
If you want to take your right, right?
It's consequences.
And you never know how it's going to turn out.
You never know.
And you never how you never know how it's going to end up.
So, you know, you just you know, it's a gamble.
You know, it's based on trust and in luck and flatulence.
But I do believe I do believe that there is no problem that cannot be
overcome. I mean, you know, outside of finding out that your husband
is John Wayne Gacy.
I just watched that Netflix documentary.
It was good.
What is it?
What is going on with guys?
A serial killer.
John Wayne Gacy tapes.
So my wife.
Yeah.
So my wife has been watching serial killer documentaries.
I've kind of gathered that.
Well, did you tell us about that one?
You might have.
Yeah, there's there's several.
Really?
Yeah, they're good.
They do a good job.
They do.
It's like riveting.
Yeah.
And you know what?
Everybody says the same thing.
He's such a normal guy.
I can't believe it.
He lived next door.
He was a normal guy.
If you got to anybody listening, you got to watch John Wayne Gacy
documentaries because there was a tape on a previously unreleased
tape of spilling his guts.
Yes.
In the interview with his counsel.
Yes, with his legal lawyer.
Right.
And he he lets loose.
I mean, he talks about what he was thinking and what he was going
through and what why he did what he did.
And it's cold.
Cold.
He didn't give a shit.
He goes, he goes, he no remorse.
That's what he said.
He goes, he goes, I have no remorse.
He goes, I feel nothing for these 33 people that I killed boys.
And one after another inviting these underage young men into his
home and they buried him under the house under the house.
How many 27 under the house?
There's 33 total.
He ran out of room.
Yes.
Digging holes, digging in his crawlspace.
In his crawlspace.
What?
That's the second documentary I watched.
Because the way he helped.
It was a stunk.
Well, he used lye.
Right.
Okay.
Well, he used lye to help mask the smell because he had body
stacked on top on top of each other.
And the crazy thing is, is he had some other boys digging the
holes like, hey, I need.
I need like help with my sewer.
Yeah, I need you to go down there and dig a hole here.
Oh, no.
No, I didn't know that.
They didn't cover that in the one we watched.
Yeah.
So he had some of the boys go down and dig some of that.
How would they know that?
Because it was in the interviews?
Yeah, some of the guys that survived, right?
Yeah, he had me go down there and dig holes.
Oh, there were a number that that got away.
Yeah.
And and got away from the standpoint of.
He's the clown one.
Yes.
And got away from the standpoint of from the standpoint of.
It was weird.
I was uncomfortable.
He sat on my bed and like challenged me and I said, I'm
uncomfortable.
I'm going to leave not not.
You know what I'm saying?
It wasn't like he was trying to kill him and he knocked him
unconscious and ran out the door.
Right.
There was just a scenario where he was like, I'm uncomfortable.
I'm leaving and you let him go.
Right.
And the guy's like 70 now.
I know.
And then they look back.
Well, he's dead.
No, the guy they were interviewing.
Oh, right.
The guy, one of his first ones who was in Iowa still where
he tried to do this to he was like, he goes, yeah, he goes.
He did all this stuff.
He handcuffed me.
Yes.
And he did all this stuff and I started crying and he let me
out of it.
Then I slept over in the bed and he came up and sat next to
me and yes, you know, says we want to pleasure each other.
Basically, we want to have sex with the guy and he was like,
no way, no way.
And then they got in the car.
They won't know.
But then he wakes up wakes up with the guy holding a knife
to his throat.
Yeah.
And he says it's another test.
All right.
So this is a real life documentary.
John Wayne Gacy and you know, he died in 94 born in 42.
He was killed.
He was executed.
Executed.
Well, spoiler alert.
So spoiler alert, he died.
Yeah, he is killed.
So was he was he like, you know, lethal injection?
Born a so he was born into a blue collar family and had a
fairly ordinary childhood.
But he was in prison for sodomy with another man.
So what was the kid?
So was a kid.
Yes, it was basically the same.
I was in Iowa, right?
When he was in Iowa.
So here in my opinion, here's what happened.
He was he was basically gay.
And so he wouldn't admit that though.
He said he was bisexual.
Yeah.
Okay.
Bisexual, whatever bisexual.
He invited a 15 year old over and had sex with him.
And then that 15 year old told his father and he went to jail
and he became he was a sexual predator like a whatever.
Yeah.
And from that moment on he still had the same urges, but he
knew he couldn't let him go because if he lets him go, he's
going to go to jail.
Right.
So from that point on he was fulfilling his fantasy fulfilling
his need to kill him and kill him.
All right, let's move on.
This one's kind of fucking right.
Yeah.
No, it's fascinating.
If you if it is fascinating watch it's a three part series.
I'm not going to watch it.
Okay.
Chicken.
Yeah, you're scared.
Yeah.
Wow.
I wouldn't want to watch something like that.
It's fucking creepy and why would fascinate fascinating?
There's nothing fascinating to me.
I would yeah, the clothes notes good enough for me.
I gave it five stars.
Five five of five.
Did you like those scenes?
No, well, they didn't show any.
They didn't show any.
They didn't show it.
Yeah, they didn't show any.
They completely destroyed that house pulling it apart.
God.
No, no, no.
They raised it.
I mean, it's gone.
It's gone.
They had it.
They had a discussion.
They finished digging up all the shit.
They were like, what do you want to do here?
And they're like, we got to get rid of the house and they did.
Well, no, they tore it all apart looking for evidence and
they're like, well, technically we're supposed to replace
everything as it was.
Yeah, but the house was gone.
Oh, yeah. So they're just like, I don't know how they just
this is the last thing I'll say about it.
The most riveting part of it are the those guys that had to
go into the crawl space and dig these people out finding one
after another after another.
Oh, it's awful.
There's film footage.
How do you dig in?
And these poor guys?
I mean, really?
They can spend the rest of their lives finding all that.
And they said we weren't hazmat.
We were I was in jeans and a flannel.
Oh, yeah. We'd have mass with gloves.
And they were in up to their neck in mud and and body.
That's retarded.
I would have cut the floor open.
They did what they did.
They did.
There were four bodies stacked on top of each other.
So you go down cross the good Lord.
Yeah.
He pulled out thirty three bodies from his not a big house
either.
Oh, insane.
Well, and then he started burying him in the place.
I'm really glad we had this conversation.
Yeah.
No, it's very enlightening.
All right. Anyway, so I wanted to talk about we were we can
skip match.
But sex.
No, I want to talk about I actually want to talk about
Netflix.
So we've been watching that on Netflix.
They're saying Netflix is like tanking done.
It's not well.
Why?
What's happening?
It's woke ism.
Well, it is.
They've lost viewership for the first time because of woke ism.
Could be part of it.
Well, there's I think I think you're sure, guys.
I think there's part of I think it's part of it is people like
us going screw it.
I'm done.
Part of it is there's Disney.
There's Paramount.
There's HBO Max.
The streaming service started to be everywhere.
It's saturated before it was that likes all competitive.
But that was the only thing out there for a while.
Now there's they're all over the place.
Who else is part of Netflix?
The Obamas are part of another not now.
They cut them out.
Now they cut Spotify.
They cut them out.
Spotify cut them out.
No, but the Obamas were part of Netflix.
They still are.
OK.
Netflix.
I'm sorry.
Spotify did not renew the Obama contract.
I think it's Netflix.
But Netflix cut out some woke ism.
Well, they need to.
Look, here's the thing.
There's they've got these Netflix founded shows.
The old remake of the space show lost lost in space.
All right.
And not just lost in space, but all these other Netflix based shows that, you know,
they got to have the ratio of races and they got to throw Hollywood now.
But yeah, but it's just like but it just doesn't reflect reality when you have to have gay
people suck on each other on every single show.
It's well, I think you're going to see less of that because a memo just came out on
Netflix.
And basically, they says said if you're not comfortable with the program and we have
maybe Netflix isn't the place for you to work.
So basically, they were scaling back the woke ism.
They're scaling back the woke ism and they're going to put regular shit out there.
Right.
So if you're not comfortable, get the fuck out.
Maybe Netflix is not where you should be working.
That just came out this week.
But you did.
So hold on.
Maybe Netflix is the place you should be working.
You know, to me, that's kind of a silly statement because, you know, basically
Netflix is just a collection of shows we watch.
Correct.
So that's the point.
And what they're making is we are our audience is diverse.
Correct.
And what we carry is going to be diverse if that upsets you because you want but it's
a very thin point of view.
The point is, if you're trying to push an ideology and an agenda and you don't like
anything that goes against it, maybe this isn't the place for you because the day
Twitter's headed there.
Yeah.
Finally, with Elon Musk, because we'll talk about that.
And then if you remember the Dave Chappelle special where they had the walkout because
they were all offended.
Yeah, the transsexuals.
That was the start of it, I think.
And then they lost all these viewerships.
And I think part of it is because people are getting sick of it.
Yeah.
The silent majority is canceling.
Part of it is the market is saturated.
Yeah.
Right?
Plenty of options, brother.
So people are like, I'm spending the hundred bucks on streaming services.
I need to pare down.
Which one am I cutting?
Netflix is a bunch of crap these days.
I'm cutting that.
Yeah, it's a bunch of woke.
Right?
So I think that's the other part of it.
Sure.
And I think going forward, I think you will see this is what I'm hoping anyway.
OK.
More just mainstream normalization, normalization of programming.
Right?
You're not going to get Bridgerton where you're where you're hijacking history and having
a black queen of England.
My wife loves that show.
I refuse to watch it.
She she loves it.
And we even talked about it.
I was like, what's going on with this?
Why is there a black queen in the 1700s in England?
And I'm not I'm not.
I mean, you could pull the racism, you know, argument, all that kind of stuff.
I'm just saying it's not authentic.
No.
From a historical perspective.
Anyway, is there a disclaimer before that says this is not pertain, you know, trying
to be historically correct?
This is a dramatization.
Right.
He did that.
All right.
Maybe I'll accept it more.
But we did just get done watching The Last Kingdom, five seasons worth of The Last Kingdom
on Lord.
Oh, it's great.
We love it.
I got to watch a bunch of it.
So Netflix.
OK, so the Outlander, which evidently I need to watch.
Good.
Great show.
Really good show.
The Last Kingdom.
I love it.
Last Kingdom is good.
I've watched one season.
I watched all five.
It's amazing.
So much.
I haven't even watched.
Have you watched Viking?
Ozark.
The Ozarks.
I haven't watched the final season.
I haven't finished the second to last one yet.
Exactly.
The Vikings.
I thought that was on Amazon.
It was on Amazon.
We watched a couple of episodes, but we didn't.
You have to watch Viking.
Oh, my God.
Oh, yeah.
Seriously?
I have to watch.
All right.
Then that's what we do next.
It's outstanding.
Yes.
Love it.
OK.
And Netflix has I'm not saying part two, but they have a Vikings.
I think they called Vikings of Valhalla or something like that.
And it's well done as well.
You know, it's funny.
The Netflix has a Vikings comedy.
Correct.
We are Vikings or something like that.
It is actually I've watched the whole thing.
Is it VeggieTales?
Man, it is like these guys, they're like they speak English, but they're like, so Hansard,
we're going to go down to the forest and we're going to take some of the elders of the village.
You know, we don't have enough food to feed everybody, so we need to send some people
out, you know, and then they like we need so they can sky volunteers.
He takes a bunch of old guys, old farts up to and they got old farts are kind of like,
oh, yes, we need to die for Thor.
We'll be mighty warriors once we get to heaven.
And so for Oden.
Is it for Oden?
For Oden in Valhalla.
Yeah, it is.
He takes them up to this cliff and he's like, OK, so, guys, here's what we got to do.
We got to jump off and but they're talking in this this dialect.
It's just like, is so sweet.
You want me to jump off the cliff and land somewhere down there on the rocks?
You know, at first I was wanting to do it and I don't want to do it in this so much as now.
But we like a French that's what we were going to do is we are totally a comedy, though.
Oh, man, it's fantastic, man.
It's on Netflix.
Yeah, it's like something.
We are barbarians or we are Vikings.
Oh, my God.
OK, like the leader of the group, the leaders kind of pass back and forth and they fight each other.
Look, they show very graphic shit, like when people get like sliced in half, they were like,
like this one guy says, you know, if I want your wife, all I have to do is challenge you for a fight and I can have your wife.
And so he challenges very German.
Yeah, he sounds like it, doesn't he?
Yeah, yeah.
That's the way that's the way Last Kingdom was.
It was very graphic, very graphic, lots of blood.
I liked it.
I just watched The Northman.
Haven't heard of that one.
It's a new Viking movie came out recently.
Movie. It's a movie, not series.
It's a movie and it's it's it's very good, but it's very bleak.
It's very grim and it's not a Disney movie.
We put it that way.
It's not a happy movie.
No, it's not at all.
The does the mother die visionary director Robert something The Northman.
Yeah, that's it right there.
And Nicole Kidman's in it.
Really?
As a queen, Ethan Hawke, Ethan Hawke, William Defoe.
I like that guy, Willem.
It's very well done.
It's as I'm sitting there watching, I'm going it had to suck to live back then.
Oh, sure.
They're in Iceland and I'm just like, how miserable.
Even watching Last Kingdom, I was I was thinking that would not be a good life.
Even this was even just more.
It's just more bleak.
They don't know it better.
I mean, it would suck.
You had no sense of security.
Like, you know, at any moment's notice, you could be slaughtered.
Well, basically, that's what kind of what this is.
It's a revenge story.
And basically, that's what this is.
They're in the middle of Iceland and this little farm and chaos erupts.
And it's just like they don't know how to handle it.
Right. And the village gets burned.
All the women get raped.
All the men get killed.
Yeah.
And the kids get abducted to be slaves.
It's like, wow, what a great time to live.
Yeah, it's well done.
And I recommend it.
Now, there are a few scenes.
So it's a little more on the art, art, artsy side, fartsy in some scenes
because you get some of the mystic Viking stuff like slow with like,
well, or he's kind of dreaming, right, where he sees Odin or he's doing this.
So there's some scenes of that that you have to get through.
But unless it's a movie, it's a movie.
And it's it's I wouldn't mind watching it.
Well, like I said, we just got done with Last Kingdom.
So we're on board with things along that genre.
I'll tell you what that Alexander Skarsgard.
It's I believe the the comedy is called The Norseman, by the way, to go back.
The Norseman, the comedy, the Vikings.
I thought it was called something like R'R Barbarians or something.
Maybe not. So anyway, I recommend I recommend The Northman.
So I for one don't want Netflix to like die.
I don't think you said it's going to die.
It's not going to go away because we watch a lot of stuff on Netflix.
Remember when it started, the whole male.
Well, it was the male CD house DVD.
And we never did Netflix.
Well, we we we did.
We did Blockbuster. So we'd go to the store.
We did both. We did both.
We went to the store and then we started doing the mail in Blockbuster.
Once they tried to catch up and we never did Netflix.
And then Blockbuster died.
And then we started doing Redbox. Redbox.
So Redbox replaced both of them. You're right.
So we did Redbox. Where did Redbox Redbox done?
They're still around.
OK, there's still a Redbox in front of the Kroger.
Yeah, they're still around.
But we would do that every weekend.
We'd have movies in this room right here.
Every Friday, we'd have a picnic. Right.
And we'd watch a movie.
It's not what's on the floor.
Eat pizza and very nice.
Then Redbox. I don't know.
We just you know, the boys got older and you start streaming.
Yeah. Then we started streaming everything.
So we don't want very rare that we play a DVD now.
Right. Very rare.
How often do you play DVDs?
I never played DVDs.
In fact, I would own my dad's house.
It was Mother's Day and said hi to my mom.
Blah, blah, blah.
And they got some TV issue all of a sudden.
TV issues. TV issues.
OK, whatever.
They yeah.
They my dad's like he's always he's very proud of his TV, too.
He buys the biggest fucking TV they have. It's huge.
He's got like a seventy five. Just ridiculous.
Oh, wow.
Like the entire same song, but he doesn't have the fucking remote control for.
So Files comes in and they give him this remote control.
And I kid you not.
It looks like a fucking keyboard, right?
It's so ridiculous.
Full fledged. It's multi, multi device, multi everything.
Something turn the lights on, open the garage doors.
For sure. Absolutely.
Something not to give your parents, you know, so.
Yeah, exactly. How do you get a fire stick?
It has a button. Yeah.
I was gonna say they're struggling with the remote.
How are they gonna work with that thing? It was such a struggle. So anyways is beat down my parents doing fine
a long story short they
But you know there I told them they're watching DVDs still or they've stream. I'm sorry
I kind of distract a little bit. They know it wasn't they had a
Under there. It's a body damn it. They have the TV that big 75 inch down below. There is a
DVD carousel. Oh
Wow, okay. So my dad was kind of like
Oh, what am I do with my if I want to watch a DVD and I was like
When is the last time you watched a DVD?
You know, and he's got this VHS player
Nice, you would hook that up
It's a dual VHS player. So one so you can like rewind one while the other word playing I guess
Oh that's a
Couldn't afford that
He's got so you know his office. He's got these VHS tapes and these DVDs and it's like, you know that that's that's gone
You don't let it go dad. Yeah, it's gone, you know, just start singing. Let it go. Let it go you did
No, but I was I was kind of game it he was angry. He was like
When I was your age
I was your age. I was your age. I was your age. I was your age. I was your age
Yeah
Is this TV didn't fucking work? It turned out
Seriously the trollers absolutely serious from your father's perspective think about the technology that he lived through even just us
trollers wax platters. Well, yes, that's what they used to be made out of wax. So when was your father born? What year?
Forty-two forty-one. So my dad was born in forty. Well, he's the older my dad was born in forty-two
Okay, so my father he's still alive lived through all sorts of crazy shit
Well all of our dads had I know yeah
So what would have been the first thing it would have been forty fives
It would have been it would it would have been LPs then what he had the big patrol with a big cone
Right now not in 40. No, that was before that but that's what started it, right?
I'm just saying from from our father's line YouTube. Oh, yeah, probably. Well, was it the 45s or just the whole LP?
33 and a third. Yeah, 33 third then 45s
Then 70 eights. What about the 78? Oh, no, no not cassettes
78
78 and then a track a track and then cassette
Right there see and then CD
Then you had many discs many discs and then streaming. Yeah. You had iPods. All right, so it's been a complicated
May 18th the first half of the dudes like us and joined the fray whiskey bourbon of
my
Great stuff to the three of us liked it. We were yeah to the three of us. I
I uh, I gave it a 50. I mean a five. I think we're gonna failing the second half
We're gonna be diving into some politics. I feel because there's some stuff going on with Twitter
We need to expose and talk about with Elon. It got some mass shootings. We gotta talk about
I mean, I know that's a dark topic, but dude, that's real shit that's going on
Well, I'm excited about the go back to the tour. We did talk about John Wayne Gacy for a while
So I can't get too much darker. Yeah, I say we talk about that the whole time and Ted Bundy
It's time to Jeffrey Dahmer time to open up another burden. We don't know which one eating people
I'm Palmer Shawn and I'm Jeff. I'm disappointed
You