Three ice cold beers coming up.
Thank you sir.
And when I say ice cold, they are ice cold.
They've been sitting in the back of my car covered in ice in a cooler for three hours.
I don't know.
This one's shimmering.
Oh, come here my little soul.
Yes, I'm telling you.
My little soul.
Oh, it's so cold.
Is it the best though, cold beer?
Yeah, well especially with good beer, I mean so we got at least one out of two.
We like the Yingling.
I tolerate it.
It's a good light beer.
I tell you what, I've had some IPAs recently which I don't usually have.
Well hold on, to clarify, this is Yingling light.
Correct.
So you prefer regular Yingling?
You know, I didn't mean to change the direction of what you were saying, but you know, for
like a month and a half, two, three months, I was like digging the Yingling.
I was like double fisting them.
Oh, this is good shit, good shit, buying a case, case.
And now I'm like, oh.
Right.
Well you had four cases in two days and you're kind of burned out on it.
Yeah, I'm done.
I'm like, wow, I have a case in my refrigerator right now and I don't want to even touch them.
I mean I brought six pack over here trying to get rid of them.
But I'm not really drinking beer.
I'm going to sit on a limb here and say that if you have four cases of any beer, you won't
like that beer anymore in two days.
Well my point is, I've kind of lost the whole pallet for beer.
I don't know, I'll go through a phase or something.
We've done that before where we just killed beer and there was a stretch where I really
didn't drink much of it.
I moved over to wine and I like drinking wine anyway.
I love wine.
I'm not a wine guy.
Maybe at some point in my life I'll move on to wine, but I'm a very light beer.
If I want beer, it's a very light beer.
Yeah.
Anne Berman.
Yeah, we killed the craft beers and I have a hard time drinking those now.
You know, they're not necessarily my go-to beers, but two beers that I enjoy and just
recently is Heineken.
You know, and you kind of mocked me, made fun of me a little bit.
I did win.
When we were at...
That was Chuck.
Oh, that's right.
Dudes without shoes.
That's right.
Oh, wow.
That's awkward.
I'm just another one of the dudes and nondescript dude.
Anyway.
I'm a placeholder.
I never grew up, or I shouldn't say, I don't have any experience drinking Heineken.
Never.
I mean, I've never really been like, hey, I'm going to get some Heineken.
You lived in Germany, right?
Yeah, but I mean, it's a Holland beer.
Yeah, he didn't start drinking until eight.
No.
No, but my point is I didn't start drinking Heineken until just recently.
I mean, everyone now and then you kind of like, oh, Heineken, the champagne or beers,
whatever it is.
I'm not a huge fan of it.
I thought the champagne of beers was...
Miller.
Miller Genuine Draft.
No, Miller High Life.
No, Miller Genuine Draft was the champagne.
It is?
I don't know.
I thought it was Miller High Life.
Miller Genuine Draft.
Coors Banquet.
No, I'm pretty sure it's Miller.
Oh, it may be Banquet was Miller High Life.
No, it's Coors Banquet beer is not the champagne of beer.
It's the little squat bottle.
Miller Genuine Draft is the champagne of beer.
Whatever.
Well, this is something we could look up.
We have Google.
After that was a refreshing beer that I can have anytime, including, this is odd, but
including beer on ice with lime or lemon.
Oh, yeah, you started that recently.
Rolling Rock.
I like Rolling Rock.
Oh, I enjoy Rolling Rock.
I wouldn't mind trying that.
I enjoy Rolling Rock.
Rolling Rock was a splurge.
It's very light and refreshing.
Rolling Rock was a splurge in college.
So like if the parents came in town, it was Rolling Rock.
Yeah.
My favorite beer of all time is an unpeated German beer.
German beer.
Wait, no, not maybe not beer.
Did it come in a twist cap?
All right.
Hey, this is our last podcast.
This is our last podcast of April and we're late because of me.
Unforeseen.
It was actually May.
Actually the first podcast of May, you beaner.
What is wrong with me?
I don't know.
I think it started.
No.
It's May 3rd.
Oh, it's the first podcast of May.
That's what I meant.
I'm sorry.
It's like Star Wars Day.
May the 4th be with you.
That's tomorrow.
May the 4th be with you.
Isn't that tomorrow?
Yes.
Correct.
It's May 3rd.
So he's going to dress up like Leia.
He's going to wear a little bikini.
Or Trans Solo.
Oh my God.
What the hell is that?
Did you like that?
Hot Solo with a set of boobs?
I even showed that to my wife.
I was like, oh, look, Chilly, it's Trans Solo.
And she didn't have her glasses on and we had just gotten into bed.
I go, can you see?
She goes, yes, I can see.
He has boobs.
Who sent you that?
Oh, that was your dad.
Yeah, right.
Anyway, all right, yes, my bad.
First, it's the first podcast of May.
Hold on, hold on, hold on.
I've never seen that before.
I'm looking at our producer over there.
What is wrong?
I don't know.
We have, yeah, why do we have blurred images?
Well, that's what I'm saying.
Select the word images right there.
No, no, no, no, no.
Just.
I'm not sure we want to see this.
Oh, this is such a beat down.
Dude, just click images.
Oh my God.
I'm not sure we want to see this.
Oh, I'm not sure we want to see this.
No, don't do that.
No, that's probably why he didn't want to click on it.
What a jackass.
Get rid of that immediately.
God.
Yes, he is number one producer.
Yes, he is a number one.
All right.
Anyway, the bourbon.
Oh, no, not even bourbon.
It's a whiskey.
And it's very different.
It's a German.
It's it's it's risky online shop.
Right.
Oh, hold on.
I was just reading that thing right there.
It is an unpeated German whiskey.
So I don't know what the significance of them adding.
It's unpeated.
It's a single malt whiskey.
It's almost in the category of I want to say scotch.
I mean, it kind of tastes like it.
But so I got to tell you the nose, the nose is pungent.
But the fit, the finish is not very scotchish to me.
Oh, God, the nose is horrible.
But it does not taste like the nose at all.
Yeah.
It kind of tastes like scotch.
So maybe but scotch is whiskey.
You know, scotch whiskey.
Sure it is.
Yeah, it is interesting.
So, you know, maybe this is a scotch.
Maybe they can't.
Well, maybe they just can't call it a scotch because it's from Germany.
And it's unpeated.
Right.
Just like they can't call it a bourbon because it's not from the U.S.
Right.
Is that what it is?
I don't know.
Is scotch only from a patent on the I don't know.
I know one.
You can't make bourbon outside of the U.S.
That's true.
You can't call it bourbon.
Right.
So I think this is a German scotch essentially.
Yeah, this is what it tastes like, to be honest.
And you know what?
At Liquor King, it was on the scotch section.
Ah, well, there you go.
Yeah.
So we're now calling this officially or calling it a scotch then?
It's similar to it, yeah.
Okay.
Well, it's not bad.
Like I said, the nose is horrible.
The finish is, would you call it sweet?
Is there sweetness in it?
I'd say there's lots of grain, lots of grass, lots of tobacco.
Hold on, did we say what it was?
We said it's Eiffel?
Well, it's Eiffel whiskey.
Eiffel German whiskey.
Without peat, right?
It's not peated.
Unpeated.
Whatever that means.
That means they didn't just dump a bunch of peat in there.
That's so gross.
The peated and unpeated.
Well, it's smoked, right?
So they smoke.
That's where the real smoky scotches come from, right?
Because they smoked the barley and the malts and everything like that before they...
And they put it in a box.
Correct.
And then they...
Wait, no, that was your drink.
That was my own fashion.
That special drink you had at that very expensive restaurant.
Well, it was good. It was tasty.
What does he...
I can't find where it's got a description of it, but...
You know, here's what I'm going to roll with.
This is a scotch from Germany.
Yes.
And it's okay.
It tastes all right.
Would I buy it again?
No.
Will I order it from the store?
Jeff, the bottle is being handed to you from behind.
You can read that if you want.
No, I can't read it anyways.
Everything on here is what we've already talked about.
Super tiny. Okay.
Yeah, I can't read it.
Okay, we're trying something different.
I picked it up because it was from Germany,
and I was like, any kind of liquor that comes from Germany
other than a Schnaps, I was like ready to jump on it.
So, anyways, it's our finishing...
It's our first, you know...
German.
Our first German single malt scotch or whiskey
that we've put into our collection.
Yeah, I'm a little nervous that we're going to start going to
other countries' scotches now.
Is that the trend we're going?
It's May, it's spring, you know,
we're starting something new, we're turning a new page.
It's May the 3rd, and I'm Sean.
I'm Paul.
And I'm Jeff.
And it was 54 degrees this morning.
It was great.
I stepped outside.
I mean, it rained last night, but I stepped outside,
let the dog duke, and it was nice.
It's crazy.
Yeah, I walked the dog and had a freaking pullover on.
I was like, it's May.
I had my windows open all day.
We usually don't do that in May.
That's awesome.
I didn't walk my dog.
I kind of like opened up the dog door.
Oh, you just kicked him out?
Well, I didn't kick him.
He goes out voluntarily.
Hold on, you never walk your dog?
I don't personally walk him, no.
Oh, do you have a dog walker?
I have a laser.
A laser?
Yeah.
You laser his balls?
No, you take the laser and you make the dog run in circles.
Okay, that is brilliant.
So he's laying there by himself and just going like this.
I was about to be judgmental until I kind of visualized that.
Uh-oh.
No, no, in the backyard.
So you sit on the outside bench.
Oh, dude, it's insane.
You should see, not just my dog, and some cats too.
You know, there's the dogs, they go ape shit over it.
You know, they'll sit there and run.
My goal is to run the laser to try to trick them to run into the fence.
They haven't done it yet, huh?
No, my prior, the boxer did before he died, lando.
From a broken neck?
No.
A brain tumor?
A contusion?
You just get him in circles into the dizzy, then you're like, just whack!
So mean.
And you even get some forearm exercise, I guess.
Oh, yeah, yeah.
Just kind of waving your laser around.
Yeah, kind of.
Just stroking the laser.
Yeah, people in the neighbors, they're looking down at me,
and I've got my hand kind of doing these little circles,
and they're like, what is he doing over there?
What are you doing over there?
I think I'm playing VR.
And then he just starts laughing.
Dumb dog.
What does that mean?
It's better than 18-foot fires coming out of your backyard.
Yeah, well, you know, these are all normal thresholds that people go
through life that dudes like us experience that we have to share the story.
Yeah.
I don't think I'm going to do that anymore.
Those were extreme.
And we've talked about that stuff before.
I mean, there was...
There were some big ones.
I think of the three of us, you're probably the one that has the neighbors
that hate you the most.
I'm probably second, and then you're probably third, Jeff.
You're probably pretty low-key.
Well, he's just now starting to catch stuff on fire.
But yours hasn't gotten out of control yet.
No.
I actually put a recliner onto...
I sat it on top of...
It was a small recliner.
Nonetheless, it was a recliner.
I just set it right up on the fire pit and just...
But that was toxic as shit, all that foam and just...
It went up quick, man.
So...
Fire-retarded material.
I've had some fires.
It was more just incessant hours long of smoke that probably just
smoked them out.
That just wafted right over the fence into your neighbor's yard.
And they just had to leave and go to Applebee's for a couple hours.
There was a time Jeff and I were burning Styrofoam that we got from...
That's really not a good idea.
It was bad.
It was so bad.
The smoke was so...
There was so much smoke, and...
It was black.
It was so thick.
You were burning tires.
It was setting off the motion sensors down the alley.
So you know how the lights would turn on?
Yes.
It was so thick it was setting off motion sensors.
You did this at night?
Yes.
Of course.
You're not going to do that during the day.
No.
You could be that stupid, right?
I mean, not stupid enough to burn Styrofoam, but you know, during the day.
It was so bad.
It was still at night, and you could still see how black and thick it was.
Jeff and I came in with smoky faces.
Oh, I bet.
We looked like buckwheat.
So the next morning, were all the houses completely black?
Just soot.
All down the alleyway?
Just soot.
Yeah, there was soot everywhere.
It was bad.
I think Jeff and I lost about a year or two.
For sure.
Did you smell the fumes?
Well, most of the time, 99% of the time, it was blowing the other way.
But every now and then it'd waft.
So you have the yank shirt up and run away, because otherwise you would inhale it.
But we really didn't inhale it.
It was usually blowing either straight up or down the alleyway away from us.
So you probably killed a couple of rabbits, a couple outside dogs.
I think there, yeah.
Down in the neighborhood.
The neighbors woke up and there's dead animals all over.
Yeah, everywhere.
I want to go back to the...
One of those apocalyptic scenes.
The unpeated scotch.
Maze? Dead birds everywhere.
I'm actually, the more I'm tasting it, the more I'm kind of liking it.
Yeah, it's not bad.
No, the taste is fine.
So it's like, we've never been, I've never been a huge fan of scotch, but we have a few bottles in our repertoire.
We do.
And we have tasted, and I went through a phase where I actually drank a shitload of Pinch scotch.
So it's not like I hate scotch.
Does Pinch taste like this?
Pinch?
Well, it's scotch.
So, I mean, plus that was so long ago I don't really remember.
Pinch.
P-I-N-C-H. It's a bottle that kind of looks like a football.
Yeah, kind of.
Oh, okay.
Oh, so that's a brand name.
I'm sorry.
Okay, I thought that was a type of, maybe a type of scotch.
Okay, well cool.
It's a brand.
I just took a pullback now and it's after it's been diluted a little bit.
It's got a little bit, again, I'm not going to go to the store and order this.
I don't think you can.
I mean, German.
I've never seen it before.
German scotch.
What is it called?
Eiffel?
Now, where did you find it?
This was at Liquor King.
Oh, it was Liquor King.
Okay.
Yeah, it was Liquor King.
Nice.
Okay.
I mean, they may have it other places, but I'm...
What does Eiffel mean?
It's got to be...
That's the Tower.
Yeah.
It's in Paris, France.
It's a French scotch.
Made in Germany.
You know, we had a little run where we didn't have any new bourbons and now we have like
a whole...
We have a shit ton of them.
Yeah, now we have a whole bunch of new ones we need to try.
So, Eiffel's a plateau region in West Germany between the River Moselle and the Belgian frontier.
Look at you.
Yeah, we have this one.
We have two 1792 bottle and bonds.
Okay.
Now, what's the difference between one small batch, one...
No, both are bottle and bonds.
Yeah.
So, it's a little bit different.
It's a little bit different.
Yeah.
So, we have two different ones.
Now, both are bottle and bond and we wanted a total wine.
One's the starter and the other one's a backup.
Yeah.
Oh, they're identical.
Yeah, they're identical.
Okay.
It's one of those where you walk in and, you know, our bourbon guy's a total wine.
He'll grab it.
He's like, this, and they said you need to grab that.
Oh, okay.
Oh, so, and you both together and you bought two bottles?
Yeah.
I got one, he got one.
Oh, well, was there a third bottle on the show?
They had a case of them.
Yeah.
Oh.
Lots of them.
Why weren't you there?
I'm pretty sure I just couldn't go.
I don't know where I was.
Where was I?
It was last Friday.
Oh.
You had a happy hour you had to attend.
Yes.
Yeah, you were bonding with your...
I was happy houring with my...
How did that go anyways?
Did you drink your monk and coke or monk and doctor?
Actually, I just had some Jack and Coke and we hung out at the 54th.
Did they drink monk and doctor?
No, they drank different things.
They drank different things, beers and whatever.
Pina coladas.
Tequila.
Pina coladas, no.
I think one of them drank some sort of signature drink, fruity signature drink.
Was it an umbrella?
Yeah, maybe.
And then one drinks wine.
That's all she drinks is wine.
So the signature drink, did it come in a fish bowl?
Yeah, it was like a big...
A goblet?
Yeah, it was a big goblet.
Was it like six straws?
No, just one.
Yeah.
Yeah, she did good.
Yeah, she didn't throw up or anything that I know of.
Anyway, we always have a great time.
It is a totally mellow, cool group of...
They are from India and I worked with them at my previous job, two jobs previous.
And it was funny, one time we were all supposed to go to a company function and none of us wanted to.
And so we're like, tell you what, let's pregame at Raw.
Have you ever been to Raw?
That sushi place?
It's a sushi joint, right?
Yeah, East Legacy.
And we hung out there kind of, you know, now we got to go to the company function and we were doing sake bombs and laughing our asses off.
And we said, no, we're not going to the company function.
We're just hanging out, just the four of us.
Right.
And so we've done that now like four or five times.
And we always say we're going to leave it, you know, okay, only from like, you know, five to seven.
And every single time we close down whatever place we're in and they kick us out or we bar hop to another place.
It's a lot of fun.
They're a lot of fun.
I like them a lot.
Anyway.
We should invite them to the podcast.
That would be interesting.
They are all liberal.
One of them doesn't say what she is.
I'm pretty sure she's conservative.
The other two are bleeding liberals.
So they were they born here or they born over in India?
I believe they were all born in India.
My question is, why would they be liberal?
I mean, I don't know.
What's the government in India?
It's the cast.
Well, they don't.
Modi is it Modi?
Modi is the prime minister and he apparently is kind of like Trump ish in India.
He's conservative and they can't stand him.
So really?
Yeah.
So it's interesting because I think he is along the lines of Trump.
But anyway, I don't know.
I'm not sure either.
Yeah.
Anyway, so very interesting.
Very interesting.
Adding every time I'm speaking about Trump, I did get my and you did too.
You're the truth.
Social.
I did.
Got it working today.
I did.
And I started kind of, you know, it's interesting.
It it has automatically signs people up to follow you.
Correct.
That's what I said.
I've got like 16 followers.
Gun.
Which one did I send you?
Girls and guns.
Oh, that was one that actually that was one that actually followed me automatically somehow.
Oh, that gives it came up on my feet.
I was like, wow, look at that Twitter wasn't like that.
You had to go out and follow you.
People just didn't like jump on and follow you.
Which is brilliant, though, if you want to get connected.
Right.
Well, you get experience to do things.
You know, I got experience.
Right.
Big boobs and guns.
They don't.
I mean, who wouldn't want to experience that?
It's unavailable right now.
What is the truth?
Yeah, yeah, true.
Oh, that's so awkward.
What number were you?
I don't even get a number.
He was one million eight hundred and thirty two thousand.
I bet he's a lot more than that.
Well, you didn't.
Because I was.
I was four hundred thousand.
You can't even download it.
No, I don't.
The app is unavailable.
I don't have an iPad.
It's only available on iPhones.
That's it.
Oh, and you don't have my.
Now you get it.
Yeah, yeah.
I was four hundred idiots that have an Android.
I was four hundred and thirty thousand and it sat there for two months.
Oh, yeah.
Long time months because I signed up in probably early February, maybe January when we did
that, because you did it right before me.
Right.
And then whenever you did that, I was right behind you.
But I was like three hundred thousand behind you.
Yeah.
So I'm interested to know how many how many subscribers they have now.
I don't know.
And how many people are you know.
And it's just like Twitter.
Oh, it's just like it.
It's just like it.
It's supposed to be they're supposed to add a little bit more than just Twitter.
It's going to be.
I haven't played with it too much.
I haven't either.
It's supposed to be a combination of Facebook, Instagram and Twitter.
It's going to have everything.
It's just it's going to be similar to all of them.
I noticed that the you know how the videos don't play on my phone.
I don't know if I was doing something wrong, but I mean, usually you don't have to do anything.
Well, you usually have to.
I think you click out of it and it goes takes you to the website, I think.
Oh, OK.
Yeah, I got to get my videos working in there.
It wasn't doing that at first.
So it takes you to rumble.
At least that one did right.
Yeah, there you go.
So DeSantis causes Lib meltdown with response to Roe versus Wade League.
Yeah, so that was a meltdown today.
I don't know if you guys scanned any of the headlines, but on both sides of the aisle, this place was the country was melting down over this Roe versus Wade deal.
So this picture.
Yeah, yeah.
Our producers being very creative.
He's a graphic designer.
It is.
And what I read is, yes, it's authentic, but it's not final.
Yeah.
So, you know, I was speculating that I bet you they have whole teams.
Every single Supreme Court has a whole team of people.
And it wouldn't surprise me if when in the cases they have coming up, they instruct their team to go research both sides of it, research the merits of the appeal, research, research, research, right?
And put together put together material ready to go for whatever a decision might be.
Well, this was it doesn't mean they're going to decide that.
No, this is Sam Alito.
He did the decision.
And I'm thinking, OK, well, Sam Alito does it did it to each one of the justices right there.
Bet you they do.
And his I don't know for sure, but I bet it would not surprise me if every single the team of every single Supreme Court justice puts together potential papers.
That never see the light of day because they look at it and they go, no, I don't like that at all.
I don't agree with those arguments like they're given material.
Now the cat's out of the bag and well, that's why.
Well, well, but that's that's what I understand.
What when you say what they leak, you know how there's usually one justice who writes the decision.
Does here's a decision on this case.
And then there's a dissenting opinion.
There's a dissenting opinion that, you know, if it's if usually why they disagree with the majority opinion.
So walk me through this.
So the leak happened because you're like, well, because we're like you're like, well, both sides are kind of it's never happened before.
How is it on the left side is getting there.
They're fucked up because they know they're losing.
And the only way they can get ahead is by leaking it.
Is that what you so OK.
So you well, just to talk about Roe versus Wade, right.
That made abortion federally legal.
That superseded states rights.
Correct.
OK, so this is overturning that right.
I think we all understand that right.
It's overturning that and it would in theory push it push those those decisions back down to the decision.
Thank you. Those decisions back down to the states.
So the left is completely freaking out because they were like, I told you so.
That's what the Supreme Court was going to do.
And that's why we now we should pack the court.
And this Supreme Court is illegitimate.
And I mean, they like are going crazy over the legitimacy of the Supreme Court because they want the.
Government, not the state level to get what the government, the federal government to run.
They want they want to basically what I'm hearing is they want to do a constitutional amendment to make this a constitutional right for women to have an abortion.
Because it's not.
And basically, I think what the I didn't read his argument, Alito's.
And basically what I was getting out of it is the Constitution doesn't this is not a guaranteed right.
No.
And this this rovers is Wade was trying to kind of sidestep to make it a right to do this.
And it's not a constitutional right.
What?
Interesting. It's not even a right to abortion.
It's a right to privacy.
That's what they keep saying.
It's a Ninth Amendment.
The Ninth Amendment has something to do with the right to privacy.
It was fourteenth.
Is it fourteenth?
I thought it was the fourteenth amendment.
OK, well, they said something about the Ninth Amendment and specific rights.
the United States, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah,
especially protected by the Bill of Rights.
All right, go to the 14th, then.
All persons born or naturalized in the United States
subject to the jurisdiction there is of the citizen.
All right, maybe we'll go through it.
Maybe it's not 14th.
I can't remember which amendment it was, but anyway,
so it had to do with the right to privacy,
and then that, and I didn't really understand
how that correlates to like, you know, abortion, right?
More like the my body, my choice.
I don't have to tell you what I do with my body.
I have the right to privacy.
I can do whatever I want with my body, right?
Which, of course, apparently doesn't apply to vaccines.
Well, hold on. The Fourth Amendment.
Is it the Fourth Amendment?
The right of the people to be secure in their persons,
house papers?
No.
I heard the 14th earlier today, and it's related somehow.
Yeah.
Oh, the 10th.
The right to privacy.
The right to privacy within the Constitution that,
and that the ban on contraceptives for married couples
violated that law, or that right.
10th?
Yeah, the 10th.
In Griswold versus Connecticut in 65.
From vacation?
Found that there was a right to privacy
within the Constitution that...
Cliff, what's his name?
Yeah, it's Cliff Clavin.
Clark.
Clark Griswold, that's right.
Clark Griswold.
Oh, Clark.
Clark Griswold.
Yeah, that's a Wally world.
Wally world versus Clark Griswold.
With Christie Brinkley as the...
So the Democrats are trying to push to get the abortion set
so that the government, federal,
can control it at a federal level,
and to grant women the right
so that they can have an abortion.
Correct.
Now, currently the way the law sets...
Nothing's changed.
But there are conditions in which a woman...
Nothing's changed yet.
...can have an abortion, right?
Yeah, well, I mean, but in like all 50 states.
Sure.
Well, that's starting to change now, too.
Well, see, that's the problem.
Right now, it's kind of ambiguous, all right?
The federal think they have some, you know,
parts of the federal government think they have the right
to control it, depending on what side of the aisle.
And then there's some states are trying to push their own laws,
and it's conflicting, and so...
Well, Texas just passed something,
I think either Alabama or Georgia did as well.
Correct.
I think Texas, again, I don't know exactly,
but they outlawed up to a certain...
They said if you're 12 weeks.
And they said after six weeks.
Was it six weeks? I can't remember.
It's like a heartbeat law.
Yeah, after six weeks, no abortion.
So they're putting limits on it.
Yeah, but there are other extenuating circumstances
that may overrule some of that, such as being raped, you know?
Yeah, I would imagine they have some sort of clause in there,
but I don't know the details of Texas law.
Something that you can automatically detect
where there's some sort of retardation,
or I don't know what they call it in a baby.
They detect certain things that could be pre-cancerous
or something like that, that you're able to...
Yeah, I don't know.
I mean, that always comes up in the argument about,
you know, should you make it legal or not?
Should you make it...
And then you have these things where you have folks
that are retarded, or what do they call that?
Yeah, I don't think they use that word anymore.
Yeah, what's the word? Down syndrome.
Yeah, well, that would just be special needs or...
Whatever, so they have these kids that they could detect that
while they're in the womb at a month old or two months old
or something like that, and then at that point,
you have an option, do you want to, you know,
spend the rest of your life tart sitting,
or do you want to like, you know...
Wow.
So, Mr. Producer, look up California.
Well, look, man, if you have a choice...
Look up California.
If you have a choice...
AB2223.
But, I mean, if you have a choice...
Really?
Well, I have a nephew who's down.
There you go.
That doesn't matter.
So I would not abort them, no.
But if you have a choice at a month,
and you're just kind of like, well, you know what,
there's no harm, no foul.
Well, there is harm, there is foul.
You just ended a life.
I have no real argument, but...
So, that is...
That's the problem with this whole abortion thing.
It's like, you know, there's so much gray area,
there's so much...
Well, this goes beyond abortion.
Just scroll up and look at the headline.
Yeah, I'm more interested in the debate on the...
Oh, wow.
So they've passed something
that you could kill newborns now.
Yeah, see, that's just wonderful.
So you can give birth and go,
yeah, I changed my mind, I want it.
Yeah.
Within what, an hour?
I don't know.
My friend sent me this today.
Oh, that can't be right.
Oh, they have full-term abortion.
Yeah.
As soon as it comes out.
Yeah.
That's the real thing.
It's crazy.
It's just absolutely crazy.
It's infant side.
Look, I'll play devil's advocate on this whole thing.
I don't really believe that the kids should be aborted.
Scroll down a little bit.
That is the argument on a lot of these people that...
I get it.
California Welfare and Institutions Code,
perinatal means that period from the establishment of pregnancy
to one month following delivery.
Oh, my God.
One month after delivery?
That is...
Oh, my gosh.
That can't be right.
Are you serious?
Well, it says right there.
It sure does.
They say that they define perinatal
because the bill says...
Wow.
You can abort up to perinatal,
which is, according to the California Welfare,
is a month after delivery.
That would be the thing right after.
It would invoke whenever a living, breathing human baby
up to one month of age is killed.
Golly.
That's fucked up.
That is completely fucked up.
The issue there is that what is the definition of a perinatal?
And that is where...
That's where it gets me.
Well, this is the California Code,
and this is the California definition.
No, because it says right there,
but AB 2223 does not give a definition of the word perinatal.
Yeah, but the California Welfare and Institutions Code,
Section 1-4 describes perinatal.
Those are two different things using the word perinatal.
One defines it, one doesn't.
Correct.
Both in California.
So it's fake.
I don't know.
I think we should change subject
because this is pretty disgusting.
It is a very, very horrible subject.
And it's gonna...
Here's what's interesting to me.
I don't understand why it divides the country
along political lines.
That makes no sense to me.
You're right.
It doesn't.
Everything is these days.
Everything does these days.
But why?
That has nothing to do with the role...
Well, it kind of does have to do with the role of government,
but it has nothing to do with all the other things,
like socialism and this and that.
It has nothing to do with that.
Somehow it is right along the lines
of Republican and Democrat.
Well, look at Biden.
He says he's a practicing Catholic.
Yeah, devout Catholic.
Devout Catholic.
You cannot.
No way.
You cannot be a Catholic and be for abortion.
Pelosi is too.
Yeah.
Because the political outweighs their religious...
That's right.
...is what's going on.
That's right.
Because the people they represent are not Christians,
for the most part.
Right.
And they'll lose their votes if they're vocal
about supporting abortion.
Right.
Or supporting pro-life.
I think that's why you're seeing it going down party lines,
is I'm not saying all Democrats are not Christians.
I mean, there's a ton of Christian Democrats.
I know, but...
A ton of Catholic Democrats.
Where are they on this issue?
It'd be interesting to talk to one of them.
If you're a Christian Democrat, what's your take on this?
Right.
Does your religious belief or your political belief,
which one holds more weight with you?
And guess what?
There are a ton of atheist Republicans,
and then there are a ton of atheist, you know,
non-Catholic but Christian that would be okay
with abortion Republicans as well.
You would think.
Right.
You would think, is what I'm saying.
I just don't understand how these issues are so...
I watched a guy talk about how he can convince any atheist
that he's not an atheist.
Oh, he can talk him out of it.
Yeah.
You know, the argument is pretty sound.
He basically says...
The argument that...
Hey, look, he draws a circle.
He says, all right, in this circle is all knowledge.
All knowledge of everything.
Right.
And he says, currently, in 2022, May 3rd,
all the knowledge that's out there on the planet,
how much do you know if you were to make a little pie chart?
Make a little pie chart.
It would be a cube.
Yeah.
So, it essentially...
A little tick.
So, and then you're kind of like,
all right, well, if that's how much you know,
then you don't know that much.
So, if you don't know that much,
then there's a chance that God does exist.
Right.
How could you say that he doesn't exist
when you don't know?
You know what I think, though?
I think atheists, some of them might think
maybe there was some sort of supreme being
that created the universe,
but I think their point is they don't care.
Like, they're not going to live their life on Earth
giving any recognition or live their life
in any sort of religious way to show...
Isn't that agnostic more than the atheist?
Well, hold on.
That is agnostic.
But I don't think...
That's what I...
So, you're thinking of God as some sort of being out there.
Yeah, just kind of insignificant to their lives.
I don't think atheists feel that God is a being.
I think that...
No, they don't.
They don't.
You're right.
I think that they feel that there's a spirit
or an ether or some unknown thing,
but I don't think it's a being or...
Right.
Which is fine, but I think my point is in practice,
in practice of the way they live their life,
they have no interest in showing worship or acknowledgement.
That doesn't mean they're not immoral.
They don't have ethics and morals.
It does not mean that.
I know atheists that are...
Until shit hits the fan one day.
Not bad people.
And they have a horrible day and someone dies
or someone gets cancer or they're on their deathbed.
Then all of a sudden...
And then suddenly they're like, hey...
They're like, I've never prayed before.
Yeah, I'm thinking about it now.
I am reaching out to just about everybody at this point,
just knocking on every door that's going to listen.
Yeah, a god or gods.
Yeah.
Right.
Or gods.
Raj, you know, all of them.
Valhalla.
Because I'm watching The Last Kingdom right now.
What is it?
On Netflix.
Is it good, Saban?
What is it?
Oh, it's great.
What is the Indiana Jones?
Oh, Cali Ma.
Yeah, Cali Ma.
Cali Ma.
I just posted that one.
It's one of the subjects, Cali Ma.
Cali Ma.
Dr. Jones.
He was in the news recently, the little kid.
He apparently...
He's not little anymore.
Well, I know.
He took...
Well, actually, he may be little, but he's not...
He apparently took like 20 years off from Hollywood,
and he's now back.
And I was like, I guess I didn't notice that he was gone,
but that's a good point.
Is he working in Disneyland on the Indiana Jones ride?
I don't know.
It's a small world.
He's in one of those costumes.
But he apparently...
He was in a number of movies back then.
It wasn't just...
It was in Goonies.
Okay, Goonies too?
He was in Goonies, I believe.
Are you kidding me?
That was him?
Same guy, isn't it?
Same kid?
No.
I don't know.
Are you sure?
Maybe we need to look him up.
He's the kid on Temple of Doom.
Indiana Jones, Temple of Doom kid.
I don't know.
It was about the same time, wasn't it?
And I think he was in some other high profile movies
that you guys probably are not thinking about.
And so I think...
Is he Long Duck Dong?
No, no he's not.
No.
And what movie is that?
That's...
16 Candles.
Oh, yes.
Molly Wingwald.
Oh my God.
It is the dude from Goonies.
Yeah, I see.
Yes.
Anyway, so this kid apparently had...
They were thinking he was going to take off his career.
Yeah, short-round.
It's the Kei Hei Kwan.
Short-round.
Okay, yes it is.
All right, so what's happened since?
He's apparently re-emerged is what I read.
Oh yeah, from 92 basically to 2002.
Actually, 2021.
Oh, but he had a lot of...
He was in Sidney Lauper.
Oh, those are music videos, but of course.
But the Goonies was a big deal,
so he probably just ran out of money.
Indiana Jones, the Goonies.
No, he was on Nothing is Easy, a TV series.
Never heard of it.
I haven't either, but...
That was some of the 80s.
And then he vanished.
When?
He vanished in 92.
Well, he only vanished...
He was in...
Okay, so Tales from the Crypt.
He was on one of those episodes.
He was Josh.
Josh.
He was the Undertaker in the parlor.
Josh is Jonathan Kwan.
Jonathan Kwan.
Then 92 was on the Encino Man.
Then Red Pirate.
That was really it.
92 to 2021 is kind of what they're saying.
But he's been chipping away.
I know, I know.
Not really.
I mean, there's two little roles there.
Take a hiatus, then there's a hiatus.
To me, it looks like they were like,
yeah, we don't want you.
That's not the way they were saying it.
He walked away from Hollywood for some reason
as a teenager or something.
I don't know what he was.
Well, you know what?
Good for him.
I don't know the reason why.
The boy needs to...
I think it did him good.
Look, he made a lot of money with the Goonies.
He probably played for his education.
Hopefully, he did get an education.
He probably secured a nice, healthy dream home
and was able to take care of his parents.
I don't think he made that much money.
I don't think so either.
I hope he's though.
Not like Boris Becker.
Early to mid-80s, some kid actor.
He probably got 20 grand for the movie.
Did you hear about Boris Becker?
Did he lose all his money?
He made $50 million over the course of his career,
and he just got sentenced to jail for stealing.
Yeah, he totally bankrupt.
Is this the tennis player?
Yeah.
Yeah, Boris Becker.
He was like the greatest tennis player for Germany.
It was late 80s.
Yeah, late 80s, early 90s.
He's won the Wimbledon like five times.
I mean, the guy is incredible.
Yeah, Cincinnati has a...
Or they did, I guess it's still there.
They had a big tennis tournament
where all the pros would come in.
And I remember he was at a bar that we went to,
and he was an ass.
Boris Becker?
Yeah, he was an ass.
I mean, it doesn't surprise me.
It doesn't surprise me, right?
So he...
Here we go, he was sentenced to two and a half years
in prison on charges of hiding assets
related to his 2017 bankruptcy.
And that was this month.
No, last month.
Yeah, but that's not stealing.
Well, okay, well, sorry, not stealing.
It was...
It's fraud of some sort, I'm sure.
Yeah, hiding, hiding.
Crazy.
He made $50 million
over the course of his career, all gone.
Poof.
Yeah, you hear about that happening
with a lot of the basketball players do that.
It seems to happen more often than not.
Yeah.
And then when people win big,
like massive lotteries,
they have to declare bankruptcy,
and then they have to go to, like, counseling
to figure out how to get their money back in order.
Right.
You know what I mean?
Man, that would never happen to me.
It wouldn't?
No.
What if you started buying mega yachts
and a private jet?
I don't have that fear.
Pornos.
What if you started making pornos
and that flopped?
Make your own.
Oh, so the red light district?
I'd make the Irish Airlines.
What about the green light district?
Come on in here and sit on me, Poppy.
This got weird in a hurry.
I'm sorry.
Sit on me, Shamrock.
This looks like you've been thinking about this.
So you're saying if you won a $20 million lottery,
you would...
You'd start a porn company.
A porn airline.
Really, you think that would be a big draw?
Yeah.
You'd probably be surprised.
Yeah.
You'd probably be like Jeffrey Epstein's plane.
Ooh, easy, easy now.
Wouldn't it?
I don't know.
Not in my plane.
So when you're in an airplane...
My plane's going to be a vage.
So if you land in the US, everyone's closed.
Only the best.
But as soon as you're up in the air out of American airspace...
Oh, you're in international airspace.
... debauchery.
My bitches better be wearing some jimmies.
It's just like when a cruise ship leaves international waters
or goes into international waters.
It's anything.
They open the casino and all this crazy shit happens.
Yeah, the poles come out.
And then the flight attendants get stripped down.
The larp goes up, errr, errr, errr.
And all these poles start rising up out of the floor.
Very nice.
All the chairs turn into, like, benches.
In every room.
Good lord.
See, that's how you go broke.
Now, did you hear that Gates, Bill Gates, he said,
because he met with Epstein multiple times, remember?
And he's been implicated as being shady, right?
And he was like, it was a huge mistake.
Yeah, it was a mistake.
That's what he said.
It was a huge mistake because you got caught.
It was a huge mistake.
And it doesn't matter.
He's dead.
Know what he said?
No, he did not say that.
Yeah, he did.
Oh, that's not the quote.
The quote I saw was, it was just a huge mistake.
I made a massive huge mistake.
I heard him say it.
But he's dead now, so it doesn't matter.
Yeah.
Which means my people took care of him.
Yeah, he got whacked.
And it doesn't matter.
Yeah.
But he's dead now.
He was totally whacked, dude.
Yeah.
Well, Epstein's brother is whacked now?
There was some other dude that was whacked that was related
to the whole Epstein thing.
Didn't they discipline the guards for leaving their post?
Something happened?
They fell asleep.
Well, no, I think they left.
And then they got disciplined for that.
But that was it.
Nobody like, oh, I don't know.
Shame on you for taking a poop.
I don't know.
Unbelievable.
He so got whacked.
And somebody made a lot of money on that deal.
Those guards or whoever.
I don't know.
Well, you never know.
And just, you know what?
That's just the thing.
They don't ever know.
Nobody wants to know.
That's the thing.
Well, actually, that's not true.
People do want to know.
But it's not the Department of Justice.
Well, there's all kinds of shit out there that is going on.
I mean, just the fact that Hillary Clinton's
fucking walking around after bleaching her computer.
You know, it's just.
I mean, the way this thing works is, right?
No one is held accountable.
Right.
The way this thing works is, if the Department of Justice
even looked into it, let's just pretend like they did, right?
They're looking into some billionaire.
And the billionaire says, are you sure you want to do that?
Because I was with Hunter Biden when I did this.
And Joe knew all about it.
And how's that going to come down on your career, Mr.
Hunter Biden's business partner?
Mr. Department of Justice, blah, blah, blah?
Right.
I mean, that's the way it works.
I frequented the White House like 19 times.
Oh, yeah.
I saw that, yeah.
And.
That's going nowhere.
Yeah, of course, it's not going to go anywhere.
But he's still frequented, though, the White House.
Not even with Hunter.
Right.
To meet Joe.
Right.
It's not going to go anywhere because.
Well, they're saying if the Republicans win the Senate
and the House, which is like looking like totally going
to happen, yeah, they've already lined up.
They have a list of the investigations
that they're going to do.
It's going to get ugly.
Yeah, but it won't matter.
I mean, just as ugly as what the Democrats have been doing.
There's going to be.
Well, yeah, but this is what seems.
Unless Trump wins.
We're not so sure.
Are we so sure that Trump's going to run?
I don't know.
Well, it doesn't matter.
I'm not so sure on that one.
No.
Who are you going to get to run?
I don't think DeSantis is going to run either.
I think Trump is kind of a shoe in.
I mean, who the hell is going to take his spot?
If he decides.
Everyone is counting on it.
You know, they've got all these little stories.
Like there was something that populated on.
I think Mitt Romney should run.
Either Mitt Romney or who's.
There's these fake stories that popped out.
The daughter of the guy that.
McCain.
So there was two fake stories that are upsetting.
Because of all the fires at these food processing places,
they were saying that the secretary of agriculture,
Timothy Mcweave, Miss Weave, which witch, whatever.
Vilsack, I think.
Yeah, Balsack.
There you go.
He was arrested by the military police.
Was that a proven story?
You found that on TikTok.
It was not.
It was not proven.
I looked everywhere.
We couldn't find shit about it.
So it's still under-proven.
It's a fake story.
It is fake.
We have the Ministry of Truth now.
Yeah, we can look up on the Ministry of Truth.
Yes.
Well, in addition to that, there's
the another one that just came out, which is a big bombshell,
is that Putin had a telephone call with Donald Trump
and how he was talking about how he was,
some of the reasons why he was invading Ukraine
was to free these kids.
He freed 35,000 kids that were enslaved as select slaves
over 30 locations throughout the Ukraine.
And he was killed just as many people.
I was going to say, he's probably killed way more
than that.
Including kids.
But still, my point is that these stories keep coming out.
Right.
And you know, it's-
What do you believe?
Well, look, we're talking about, we have the czar,
the media czar that's supposedly being created by Biden
that wants to start controlling the false narrative.
Not necessarily false narrative, but misinformation.
Yeah, the Ministry of Truth.
And you know what?
Basically, the opinion that's different than mine.
Part of this, I'm for.
Because, you know, listen, hear me out.
The fact that those stories came out
about the Secretary of Agriculture, you know?
And then the Putin thing.
And look, it's not like I want the misinformation czar
to come in here and start bitch-slapping.
I want, if that's there, I don't want them deleting it.
I want them to go after the people that are producing
the misinformation.
Yeah, but that's not what's going to happen.
OK, but I'm telling you-
I love the idealistic, yeah, the idea behind it is great.
But it's never going to be anything but corrupt.
Well, especially this lady.
She's a fricking nut job.
She's already a psycho.
She's super woke piece of shit.
Supercalifagilistic, explialidocious, Biden and Trump
are fighting in the overwaters.
Yeah, she's singing.
She's singing or something?
Oh, she's got several songs out there.
Yeah, what?
Really?
How can you take anybody seriously like that?
Well, she actually sings really good.
Well, she should be on Broadway.
She shouldn't be doing this shit.
And this whole Mallorca is trying to pump her up.
Well, she's the authority in misinformation.
Oh, my god.
Like, how do you become an authority in that,
for one thing?
No, you don't.
It was the guy, Jim Gaffigan?
Not Jim Gaffigan.
You son of a bitch.
Jim Jordan.
I think I should share this with you.
He was like talking in court.
And he was like talking about this lady.
He was like, isn't this the lady that said that Russia, Russia,
Russia was good to go?
Didn't she approve that one that was OK?
What was the other one?
The Russia, Russia, Russia?
Oh, the Hunter laptop.
Yeah, the laptop.
So those were two major things that Jim Jordan brought up,
that she said, no, no, this is good.
She said that's not true.
She said that she authorized that to pass through.
Which means she's just a partisan liar.
Yeah, she's just a hack.
Total hack.
Only good thing I hope she's got going for her is a nice set
of breasts.
What is her name?
See if we can't pull up her bathing suit.
What?
What is her name?
Her bathing suit?
I've seen her.
She put in a bathing suit or something like that.
See if she's got some good qualities.
Oh, my god.
I'm sure there's already nude pictures of her out there.
All right, well, let's look on that.
So what is her name?
But they're deep fakes.
I have no idea.
I don't know.
They're deep fakes with Joe Biden.
All right, so misinformation.
Misinformation.
Yeah, we lost our producer.
Bored, isn't it?
He gave up on us.
The governor's bored.
Homeland Security.
Oh, and another thing.
This misinformation thing is part of Homeland Security.
Yes.
So not good.
Well, that means it's going to be able to bypass certain,
some laws.
I mean, this is like right next to the Patriot Act.
Yes.
Yeah, no, it's not good.
It's not good at all.
What is Homegirl's name?
I don't know.
Who has been tapped to run the Department of Misinformation
or Disinformation.
I don't know what her name is.
Anyway, so we can look it up and circle around with that.
I'll continue, Logan.
It says a partisan fight breaks out.
Yeah, she's psycho, though.
Yeah, there she is.
There it is.
Oh, Nina Jankiewicz.
There you go.
Meet Biden's new Ministry of Truth.
Minister of Truth at the DHS.
No, you got it.
You got it.
Nina Jankiewicz.
How old is she?
I don't know.
Well, she looks like she's in her 30s, maybe.
Maybe 36.
I would peg it.
I don't know.
She's the same height as you.
She was born in 88 or 89.
God.
Oh, that puts her older than that.
No, it doesn't.
Early 30s.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
All right, well, let's hear a clip of her singing.
I mean, that's got to be what our listeners want to hear.
Don't they?
No.
She apparently makes her little political statements
while singing.
She's young.
I mean, she's 32.
I mean, what is she?
Is she like on Sesame Street?
I mean, we're.
She went to Bryn Mawr College in Baltimore.
I don't know what she sings about, but whatever.
Actually, I don't want to hear her.
She sings a lot of, actually, here, top left.
No, that's Greg Gutfeld.
Yeah, but she's singing there, though.
No, probably not.
No, he's talking over her.
What a nightmare.
All right, well, type in singing after that.
What a nightmare that this is happening in this country.
And I thought Jen Psaki was supposed to be quitting soon
and moving to CNN.
Yeah, she is.
Or MSNBC.
And they're tearing her up for that
being a conflict of interest.
That's another one where she wants to be rich and famous.
I saw that one, too.
This is My Simple Christmas Wish, Rich, Famous, and Powerful.
Ever since I was a baby, I have had one dream in mind.
All right, so you want to invite her to your karaoke parties,
right?
That's about it.
It will finally come true.
It's a simple wish that everyone has had from time to time.
I'm done.
Kill.
Yeah, get rid of it.
I don't even know why we're listening to that.
Yeah, I don't even want to listen to the other one now.
It doesn't even make any sense why we're listening to that.
OK.
She sucks.
Yeah.
I mean, she did sing well.
I mean, it's not just that.
That's not the point.
This isn't a singing contest.
This is her being qualified to say what's truth
and what isn't truth, which is crazy.
How can anybody even be in that position?
Yeah.
She's the authority in it.
Well, yeah, she's not the authority.
You can't be the authority of something like that,
being so young, because you have to have wisdom.
And I don't think that you can have wisdom of that stature.
But you can't be too old either.
Right?
Pelosi's too old.
Biden's too old.
What do you do?
We got to move on.
Shoot them all.
Politics is just beating us down.
It's miring us down.
It is.
It really is.
Hey, let's talk about the draft.
I feel risky, edition 2019.
Talk about what?
The NFL draft?
Yeah.
Was there any exciting?
Was there an NFL draft?
There was.
It was last weekend.
My bangles, get them, man.
Not too excited.
Well, I think we had a great.
So the Titans traded AJ Brown.
I heard the Titans draft was one of the worst.
No.
I heard it was an A minus after two days.
No, I heard it was one of the worst.
Are you serious?
Yeah, that's what I read.
That's not what I read at all.
Well, you read what you wanted to read.
No, I didn't.
I didn't go to the Titans website.
You went to the fans.
I went to.
Tell me that it's good.
Dot com.
Titans Good draft 2022.
No, I just looked up team drafts, team draft grades.
And they gave them an A minus, just so you know.
Well, I thought they picked the first one,
and I saw everyone going, all the Titan fans
are hating this.
Whatever.
We did get an interesting quarterback pick.
Malik, somebody that went way past what everybody thought
he was going to do.
You know what I'm talking about?
Here we go.
We've got the team grades right here.
All right.
Scroll down.
Let's just walk through it.
Cardinals got an A minus.
Atlanta, B plus.
OK.
Baltimore, A.
Dallas Cowboys got a B.
Buffalo, A. Oh, god.
The Bills don't need to get any stronger.
Apparently, everybody got an A.
Panthers got an A. Bears, A minus.
Cincinnati Bengals, A minus.
Browns, B.
Well, let's just.
Ooh, there's a B for the Cowboys.
There's a lot of.
Cowboys are suck.
There's such a lot of talent out there.
Apparently.
I mean.
Everybody's got a great draft.
It has to do more than just talent, man.
The Colts got a C.
That's the first C that I've seen.
So just because you get a great draft
doesn't mean that they're going to work out with the team,
because you have to have chemistry.
That's 100% true.
Yeah.
Seriously, every team has an A.
I've seen one C so far.
I know.
All right, keep going.
Watch the Titans.
They'll have like a D.
Ooh, Patriots got a C plus.
I heard they had a really bad one.
The Titans probably got an F according to this.
Well, the Tennessee Titans.
Saints got a C. Giants, A.
Keep going.
Let's see, A.
I heard both New York teams had good ones.
A, A. Bunch of As.
A.
Apparently, people are drafting better.
You picked up a Trelon Burks wide receiver.
OK, we have three Cs so far.
Quarterback, golf tackle.
That's the Seahawks.
Got a C.
Bucks got an A.
You're round three.
A.
You got a quarterback.
Tennessee Titans got an A, just so you know.
They did not.
Yes, they did.
Dude, it may say that, but they're full of shit.
What do you know?
I'm looking at your fucking Tennessee.
I'm going to have the Titans right here.
And you are going to pretend like you know
who any of those people are.
I'm looking at the grades right here.
And I'm looking at BBA minus A plus B minus B
minus C plus B plus.
That does not equate to an A if you take an average.
So this is a bunch of wishful thinking,
just like your team's going to win.
You know what's amazing is why you hate the Titans.
I have never understood that.
They have Tennessee at the B.
They're my nemesis.
Why?
We're not even in your division.
It doesn't matter.
Yes, it does.
It's because dudes.
The people you should hate are the Giants.
Giants.
The Redskins.
The Eagles.
And the Commanders.
What are they now?
Those are the Redskins.
Oh, my god.
Oh, yes.
You're going to hold out?
Yes, I'm going to hold out.
You will hold out for the Braves, too?
The Guardians?
No.
The Braves haven't changed their name, have they?
Yeah.
The Atlanta Braves.
No, the Atlanta Guardians.
No, that's Cleveland Indians changed.
Oh, my bad.
I can't keep up.
So Cleveland Indians changed to the Guardians.
What are the Braves going to do?
I don't think they should do anything.
Do you know how many Indian teams
there are at every level?
High school, college?
I think eight.
Well, who cares?
There's three.
And all three have all changed.
Well, basically, what you're doing
is you're erasing Indian whatever.
What about?
Acknowledgement.
We are.
We're canceling Indians from our.
Let's dive into this.
Let's pull out every freaking team name,
and let's try to break this all down.
The Seminoles.
Who gives a shit about the Indians?
The Chiefs.
OK, but let's move on.
The Steelers, those are a bunch of white people, right?
Factory workers.
What's your factory workers?
So is that racist?
The Jags.
What are they trying to say?
What?
The Jaguars.
It's an animal.
That's a car, right?
Yeah.
Is it a car or an animal?
All right.
Well, was that Jaguar supposed to be
representative of something?
I'm just kidding.
Is it because it sounds like something?
Are you trying to find other racist?
Patriots.
I'm waiting for that one.
Is that a white one?
Oh, god.
Patriots?
Raiders.
Those were Vikings that enslaved everybody.
How about Vikings talk about a bunch of white privilege?
Oh, I forgot about the Vikings.
Were the Houston Texans?
The Buccaneers.
Son of a bitch.
What about the Buccaneers?
Yeah, the Buccaneers?
Think about it.
The Buccaneers.
The what?
Nothing.
It had a bad joke.
It was about the Browns.
Yeah, what about the Browns?
What exactly are the Browns?
It's the last name of their owner, creator, Mike Brown.
Was he a racist?
No, he had brown stains in his underwear.
No, he was named Mike Brown.
He created the Browns.
Boring ass helmet.
Did you see the helmet?
Hi, what are the Browns?
What's your icon?
It's an orange.
Some weird orange.
It's an orange.
Then he moved to Cincinnati and created the Bengals.
So we're trying to come up with other controversial mascots
that aren't controversial, apparently.
You used to have the dolphins.
You used to have the sea hawks.
Very controversial.
You used to have the Washington Bullets.
Remember that?
Oh, they changed it, though.
They're Washington.
I don't even know what they're called now.
The?
Wizards.
Yeah, that was about 10 years ago.
And that's, isn't that witchcraft?
That's true.
I mean, that's got to be black magic wizards.
They got lots of, what is that?
Green Bay Packers, Cowboys.
Hold on, so what are the Packers?
Are those like people that pack up your house?
Meat Packers.
Oh, Meat Packers.
Yeah, Meat Packers.
So you're safe with animals.
Yeah, well, Falcons.
Well, you got the Vikings, the Packers.
Chargers.
What about the Titans?
I mean, are those?
It's just a Greek thing.
Yeah, but I mean, that's like a different country.
Were they racist?
I don't know.
Racist Titans.
They had a bunch of slaves.
Well, look at the buccaneer helmet.
The Greeks.
The Greeks had a bunch of slaves.
I mean, they did.
Oh, my God.
But it's not about the Greeks.
They're not like Greek people.
I mean, it all depends.
It's Prometheus.
Who are the Titans, anyway?
Prometheus and Prometheus.
Weren't they the parents of the gods?
The Titans were the parents of the gods?
Did you guys remember your Greek mythology?
You're correct.
The Titans were the, yes, you were correct.
It was Zeus and Athena were the children.
Correct.
And then their parents were the Titans.
Yeah, I used to know this.
Yeah, you're supposed to know all this stuff.
I used to know this.
The Titans were the pre-Olympians.
So you have like Earth.
The original Greek gods were the Titans.
Your anus.
My anus.
Just yours.
Oh, just my anus.
The Titans included Oceanus, Tinnitus, Hyperion,
Theiachoeus, Phibius, Cronus.
Architeuthus.
Cronus.
You know what Architeuthus is?
Rhea.
I don't know how to say that one.
Nemocine, Phibius, Cryus, and Lapetus.
Nemocine.
The Oracle of, golly, this is detailed shit.
Oh, Zeus slept with her.
Look at that.
Nine days with Zeus.
God, what's wrong with her?
I think he's got to be much younger.
I bet he rocked her world.
Yeah, much younger guy.
Imagine clapping that cloud.
Anyway, so they overthrew the Titans,
and then they became the gods.
So that was Zeus and Athena.
And gosh, who was the, it doesn't matter.
Perseus.
Yeah.
Greek mythology.
I remember in seventh grade, in middle school,
you know you had, we call it LA Language Arts, which
is an English class, basically.
In sixth grade, we had our standard.
In eighth grade, we had our standard language arts.
But in seventh grade, they took language arts away
and made it about Greek mythology.
And look how far that's gotten you in your career.
Give us 10 examples of how that's furthered your career.
I understood Clash of the Titans better.
Right?
There you go.
And that was a dinner with your boss.
Correct.
And you got promoted.
Was that the queen version?
Queen version?
No.
I thought you said clean.
I thought you said clean version.
Oh, the intermission.
Right.
Oh, no.
That's Flash Gordon.
Yeah, it was Flash Gordon.
Yeah, you're absolutely right.
What's wrong with you?
But hey, look, man.
We have a short show for the first half
so that we can come back and have a regular show
for the second half.
And still gorge ourselves during the intermission.
We will try to gorge ourselves.
Well, we had a fruitful signal malt
ifo whiskey edition 2019, which we'll put up
in the rack for some sort of Scotts lover to participate
later on.
Dudes Like Us, first half, first show of the May.
Hubshaw.
I'm Paul.
And I'm Jeff.
Suck it.
Music