The kid got on a treadmill and got wrapped up with a cord.
Well, it was worse than that.
The kid on the treadmill was bouncing around because the treadmill backed up into the wall.
I didn't hear about that.
Just like shred of them?
It pummeled, you know, whatever, it was bad.
So this dude like us opening up with a horrible circumstance.
That's a great way to be.
We were taking a break during the halftime and we were pulling up some current, the latest shit that's going on with some of the news articles.
Mike Tyson popped up and he's being badgered by some folks, by some jackasses.
Yeah, he got through an altercation on an airplane.
Yeah. And he ended up popping off a few rounds of his hands.
I think they were love taps.
First, dude, come on. You saw the boy. He had red blemishes.
He was pouting. He was pouting to the camera.
He was like, oh, this is a civil law.
I got what I needed.
100 million.
He absolutely get the fuck out of here.
He's going to get a wardrobe.
That's about it.
Dude, he's not getting shit.
I hope he doesn't get anything.
He was through a water bottle with a dude badgering him.
So obviously we're a little consumed right now.
This is Tuesday, April 26.
This is the second session of Dudes Like Us.
This is my dad's birthday today.
Happy birthday to Papa Jeff, which I can't say.
But it's today.
Today is his official birthday.
He turns 80.
Can you have him call in?
I don't know if we have the technology for that right now.
We do have the technology.
But he's probably not bad at this point.
You've got all kinds of technology.
Because he's.
We actually do.
We just plug in.
He's in an earlier time zone.
It's seven o'clock out by him.
I know.
He wakes up at five a.m.
When are we going to try that technology?
I'm excited about trying it.
We tried it like six months ago.
We've had it for.
We never did.
Dude, he was out there in the other room while we did it.
Yeah, but I mean literally try it.
Like during a podcast.
You mean during a podcast.
Well, we don't.
We're not live.
I know, but it'd still be fun.
Technically we're live.
Well, I know, but we're not broadcasting anywhere.
It would be kind of weird, right?
And you happy birthday to Jeff's dad.
Thank you.
What's your dad's first name?
Ken?
Ken.
We're not saying his last name.
So we happy birthday.
Can turn 80 years old.
What a great marker in life.
Now I feel weird because I said my last name like.
We'll cut that out.
We'll cut it out.
You can have it in there if you want.
It's up to you.
We usually remove his entire track anyway.
A lot of editing that goes on.
Don't worry about it.
We're dead.
It's actually just Paul and Jeff.
I always introduce myself as full name.
I don't know why I always have.
So.
Well, because you have a podcast where you don't have to hide anything.
We have to, we have to hide our identity.
See, this is the problem.
Crazy like.
You're hiding behind.
Oh yeah.
Yeah.
We're being hunted down and killed by the woke mob.
Although the Twitter mob may be changing because they're all threatening to quit or they have already quit Twitter.
You know, apparently there was an exec that was crying.
I don't care what people on Twitter do.
I just want my Formula One Mavericks and Longhorns news.
And you.
That's what I do.
Big formula.
He did not say nude Paul.
I heard him say you want your Longhorns nude.
He wants his love started to get into the Formula One.
I don't know much about it.
But I've watched the Netflix show.
Yeah.
The drive to survive.
And amazing.
It is.
It's fascinating.
I never knew that.
What are you guys talking about?
We're talking about drive to survive on Netflix.
Drive to survive.
Formula One.
It's the greatest short or the greatest sports show ever.
Ever done.
I don't know.
OK.
That's a throw down.
Well, I like that better than the Jordan documentary.
Jeff, what were you saying?
Let's create a little footnote here.
Brian is on the second half of the show.
Yes.
True.
Brian is also.
What is their bottle?
Brian is also.
Don't even.
Bring up my bourbon.
I'm on my second glass of bourbon.
We're not ashamed.
We're not bourbon shaming.
OK.
He's on the second glass of bourbon on the second half of the show.
We don't bourbon.
Hold on.
We don't bourbon shame our guests.
Yeah.
Come on, man.
Come on.
I'm not even close to.
It's not a full bottle.
I could drink a bottle.
Sample.
In an hour and 15 minutes.
Evidently.
Yeah.
We don't bourbon shame.
But we do have vomit bags.
I mean, I don't guarantee the results of that, but I can do it.
But Brian, we do have vomit bags at the end of the table.
I'm not going to bomb that.
It's right next to the Nazi helmet.
Yeah.
They're right next to the Nazi helmet.
I won't bomb it.
OK.
We're professionals.
On my second glass.
No, we're just fucking with you.
I mean, but all seriousness.
They're dudes like us vomit bags.
That'd be a good dud.
We do have two bathrooms located to the left and the right of the first wing.
Yeah.
Outside the door.
You told me earlier.
That was silly.
All right.
So we're talking about Mike Tyson during the break.
And he was on the airplane and some dude was acting like a jackass behind him.
And Mike Tyson got tired of it.
It was Mike.
He put up a shit.
He looked back there.
He did not love tap on.
Don't don't antagonize Mike Tyson.
Yeah.
I mean, seriously, he's doing what do you expect?
I think he was trying to get the viral hits.
It looks me.
Look at me.
And then totally.
Then he got the actual because after he got beat up, they have a video of him looking at
the camera, pouting like, oh, he hurt me.
I mean, come on.
The whole thing was a joke.
Suddenly he's sober.
Right.
And that's the thing.
I mean, I'm not going to lie.
I'm not going to lie.
He hurt me.
I mean, come on.
The whole thing was a joke.
Suddenly he's sober.
Right.
And that are concussed.
My head hurts.
And I should have been jacked.
No way.
I agree.
I hope he doesn't get a penny from Mike Tyson.
But you will see the reality of it is he's probably going to get some money from it.
And hopefully, you know, in JetBlue, the probably will get sued, too, for creating an environment
in which this can happen.
Here's here's here's my issue.
Why is Mike Tyson flying on JetBlue?
Oh, shit.
What the fuck?
He doesn't have much money left.
He doesn't.
He spent all his money.
Did he really?
Is that true?
Yeah.
Are you sure about that?
He spent a lot of it, but he did that Broadway show.
He's got a lot of money now, but he ran out of money.
Yeah, but he was on JetBlue this week, but he didn't book those tickets 10 years ago.
But still, I mean, I think he doesn't have any money.
I booked these tickets 10 years ago when I had no money.
Mike Tyson can't afford fucking American airways.
Maybe he had JetBlue points.
But maybe he's just a realist.
He's just like, I'm not fucking paying two thousand dollars for first class.
I mean, come on.
I mean, look, last time, last time, he was on the J. Rogan show.
He was pretty spiritual.
And he's he look, he was Mike Tyson is not that guy anymore.
Mike Tyson is he's talking about some rapper and he was talking about how, you know, that
you should forgive people.
You know, if you don't forgive people, they're going to own you.
And what about people that are throwing shit at you and mocking you?
Well, I mean, that's different.
I mean, look, come on.
You don't fucking throw stones at a German shepherd.
Right.
You know?
But I will tell you, I was on an airplane one time and I got into it with with another
guy.
Are you kidding me?
No.
So get this.
No, no, no, no.
I've never.
I have never told very slowly through this whole thing because I can see this happening.
Yeah, no, hold on.
So we're coming back from my Cancun.
OK, I think it was.
It was no, it was Sunjet.
I'm Sun.
Oh, there we go.
One of those charter deals.
You know, I'm talking about where everybody's drunk and everybody's having a good time.
Right.
Well, so I'm sitting in the middle seat, my wife's in the window and there's this old
dude that is sitting next to me.
Oh, you took the old dude out.
No.
And there's a jackass behind the old dude.
OK.
And the and the guy behind us is boisterous and kicking and all sorts of stuff.
So the old dude like turns around and goes, hey, man, can you stop kicking my seat?
You know?
And then that went on like three or four times.
OK.
And then and then this guy starts to antagonize him.
The old dude next to me.
Yeah.
And he takes his drink and he takes his his put the straw in his drink and he's holding
it over the seat and dripping on his head.
No, fuck.
Yeah.
Really?
Yeah.
And I and finally I was like, I stop and I turn and I look at him like through the crack.
Right.
And I was like, really?
And the guy goes and the guy and the guy stands up and sticks his hand through the through
the thing and says, hi, my name is blah, blah, blah, blah.
Right.
Should have grabbed his hand.
No.
I said, I don't need to know you.
I said exactly what I said to him.
I said, I don't need to know you.
I get your hand out of my face.
I don't need to know you.
That was antagonistic.
You're a douche.
So the dude goes ballistic.
Oh, wow.
Oh, he starts.
I hear him talking.
He's like, I'm going to I'm going to kill this motherfucker.
Hold on.
Oh, he's talking the whole time.
His wife, girlfriend.
You had to say I heard him talking.
Was there a point of the flight you couldn't hear him talking?
No, I mean, he was hearing aids.
No, he was just being voice.
I didn't care about what he was saying.
So he was saying a lot of stuff to.
Oh, for sure.
Try to.
And his girlfriend was trying to calm him down, calm him down.
And he was saying, I could hear him saying and Shelly was like, calm down, calm down.
And I was like, OK, I know I'm just if he if he throws, I'll throw up.
Let's go.
Like I'm going to defend myself and I'm going to defend this dude next to me.
And the dude next to me was like going, I don't know what's going on.
Right.
I'm just an old dude minding my own business.
And so he's saying, you know, just wait, just wait when we get off the plane.
That's what he's talking to the flight.
He's talking to the flight.
He's saying he's going to follow me to my car.
Wait till we get to my car.
I mean, he's saying all sorts of crazy shit.
And I'm like, OK, brother, I'm ready for you.
Like whatever, whatever you're going to do.
But it ended up being no big deal.
He got off the plane.
I got off the plane.
The girlfriend calmed him down.
But I mean, it was that kind of deal.
He's got I was drunk.
I embarrassed him by saying I don't need to know you.
Right.
That was a direct throwdown.
Sure it was.
I was like, get your hand out of my face.
I don't need to know you.
I don't care who you are.
This is Papa Bear.
But sit down.
Yeah.
I was like, brother, do you have any idea?
I'm like Mike Tyson.
I'm going to love that.
I've been playing basketball for 20 years.
Look at my back.
Oh, I had that was when that was before I lasered off my tramp scam.
Oh, well, hell, you like lay on.
Oh, dude, it was bad.
You want a spider butterfly.
Oh, fuck that.
It was a spider that went around to my nips.
Oh, yeah.
You pulled that one out like Lord, you shoved it between the chairs.
Looking for some landing strip.
Wow.
Well, I had it until then.
That's why you don't find discount airline.
So there are there are on airplanes, guys.
There are douches on.
Well, there is.
What are you going to do?
You're not going to defend yourself.
I mean, come on.
There is you're in an enclosed metal tube.
You have nowhere to go.
Yeah.
So you got to kill him.
His killer be killed.
It is.
You just have to slice it through.
I'm already claustrophobic.
Like I'm already like an anxiety mess and on an airplane anyway.
That's where you would think.
Oh, you're already on edge, right?
I'm total freak out on an airplane.
Like I hold it together really well, but I'm like inside.
Like I'm boiling.
Like I'm dying.
Like I want to be.
Oh, you know, you hear those stories about the people that like try to open the door.
I told I actually got stuck in the tarmac.
During the flight.
I was in Houston and I and we stopped on the tarmac and the day Delta got hacked.
And so we stop on the tarmac and I'm like, we're not pulling up to a gate.
So I'm getting on.
I'm like Delta news and it's all over the news.
It's Delta got hacked.
And so what does that mean?
You're saying hacked.
They got hacked.
Their system got hacked.
So they grounded all their flights.
Oh, no.
This or was United was United or Delta.
So you were stuck.
And so we're sitting on it because I noticed I've been on planes my whole life.
OK, so my parents lived in two different states.
So I was on planes back and forth, back and forth, back and forth.
I've been on planes since I was five years old.
So you have like five billion miles.
Oh, well, I would if they had miles back then.
But I noticed we weren't going anywhere.
And I was like, this is bullshit.
Like what's going on?
So I'm like, oh, thanks.
So I finally I got up because I was in a window seat, which I hate anyway.
And so I get up and I go out to the aisle and I stopped the window seat.
My favorite.
She comes over.
She's I told her I said I know what's going on.
I said I know that I just Googled and whatever.
And she's like, I'm like, when are we getting off the fucking plane?
I got to get off the plane.
And she's like, we're going to wait till we need the gate.
And she's trying to calm down.
Leaving so we don't have a gate.
And I'm like, here's the deal.
I can't stay here very long because I'm going to go to that emergency exit.
And she goes, here's the deal.
She goes, you call 911 before you pull that exit open.
Oh, no shit.
And she goes, you call 911.
Otherwise it's a felony, right?
Or some crazy shit like that.
And she goes, and I will be the first person behind you to make sure you're OK.
She said that?
The flight attendant said that?
Yeah.
Good for her.
That was very calm of her.
I'm like, shit, man, I can't be here.
She's like, well, hopefully we're not here long.
And I'll try to make it as comfortable as possible.
And she said, you better break out that rum.
I was going to say, she needed to bring you some Jack.
I need the Bacardi.
So did that happen?
No.
They don't serve alcohol when they're on the ground.
Son of a bitch.
Well, they could just walk by and kind of be like.
They don't serve alcohol at all now.
Yeah.
They're starting to again.
Most airlines won't because everybody was crazy about mass and shit.
I know.
Well, I just flew.
I think that's over.
At least supposedly.
I just flew yesterday.
I have to flag in tomorrow.
I just flew yesterday back to no mask.
Right.
Yeah.
No mask.
It was great.
And with the flight out there, I was sitting next to an older couple who wore them.
No one gave anybody shit.
I don't care if you were.
Yeah, I don't care.
I don't give a shit.
I hate this.
Yeah, we just make fun of you.
It was probably five to 10 percent of the people were wearing.
Look at the Democrat.
We're in a fucking.
Look at the P.C. scared of COVID.
I look at it this way.
Look at me.
I look at it this way as far as mask.
If you have a health concern.
Pretty insensitive.
Yeah, I get it.
Then you wear the mask.
Yeah, sure.
And whatever.
We have old people in our family or somebody in cancer.
But the reality of it is if you have allergies, wear the mask.
I don't care what you wear a mask for.
Allergies.
But the thing is, is that the allergies, the only thing that those masks are good for are
picking up allergy spores that the mask can actually filter because outside of that, those
masks don't do shit.
They're completely ineffective for COVID.
Completely.
They proved it.
They have proved it.
Whatever makes people feel better.
That's exactly what it is.
That's exactly what you don't care.
I don't care what you need in your life to make you feel better.
I just don't wear a mask.
Right.
It's like when COVID broke out, I couldn't even get mass.
I just bought a bunch of bandanas off Amazon.
Oh, yeah.
No, no, no.
Remember, they talk about effect.
No, they gave you zero percent.
Exactly.
They gave you instructions on how to cut up your old T-shirts.
And then make one.
Remember that?
Oh, yeah.
That's what we did.
When it first came out, I went to Kroger with a fucking red T-shirt that was...
I put out the litmus.
I did that too.
Here's the litmus test to figure out if you're wearing enough garments to be able to prevent
you from getting COVID.
And that's simple.
If you can fart and smell it, it's not going to work.
I don't think smells and...or smells and viruses are the same size.
I think it's the smallness of the molecule.
The fart is larger than the COVID.
Is that scientifically...
That's a scientific...I don't know the exact...
Well, I will say that...
A COVID is 0.06 micro...nanomicron.
That's it.
It's micro...nanomicrons...micronanons.
It's 0.006.
And a fart is even smaller.
I feel like...
But hold on, not all farts are created equal.
I was going to say yours are beefy.
Yeah, your molecules are slimy.
Mine are like old-based as opposed to currently gigantic molecules.
You can actually see it.
They're visual.
Oh, here you go.
Here's a visual comparison of water.
It's 10 to the negative one.
This is nuts.
Look at this.
What the hell is this?
Yeah, but where is COVID?
I don't see fart.
Where's Sean's fart?
No, I'm sorry.
I see tennis ball.
Tennis ball is not as big as a virus.
No, 10...
Okay, well Sean's fart is...
It's 10 to the eight.
Those are using exponents.
10 to the eighth.
Oh, I see.
Okay, I thought they were supposed to be...
Oh, there's virus right there.
Oh, bacteria.
What about...oh, see, so...
A period.
Okay, so water is 10 to the negative one.
Oh, not a woman's period, just a period.
A virus is 10 to the second power.
What about quantum dots?
That's 100.
I'm still looking for Sean's fart.
No, no, look, there is a chart out there that says darts, farts, and...
A period, like a female period?
I just said that.
No, it's a normal period, like a sentence.
It looks like a period on the...
Well, what's the size font?
Is it 12 font?
Yeah.
I mean, you can have...
That actually has a period on there.
Now, is that like the punctuation?
Yes, punctuation.
Okay, it's not...
As opposed to the female...
Yeah.
...20-30-day cycle.
Antflow.
We're not talking about uterus lining.
Antflow.
What's wrong with you?
Sloughing of the lining.
Sloughing.
That's such a vulgar word.
Good Lord.
God, we're having a podcast, Jeff.
Who says sloughing?
Yeah, who says sloughing?
Isn't that the correct terminology?
It might be.
The size of a fart's molecule compared to a uterus lining.
But nobody says that.
The sloughing of the uterus lining.
There's human fart.
All right, so there we go.
So...
It's kind of shedding off.
It's kind of falling.
God.
Well, they're showing the molecules.
I don't need the molecules.
They've got some...
Okay, can we move on from the size of a virus compared to Sean's fart?
This is ridiculous.
Okay, well, then there's somebody's ass blowing up.
Scroll down a little bit.
Well, all right.
That's a cow.
No, there's a picture.
Up one.
Up.
Right there.
Oh, that's Sean.
There you go.
There it is.
Yeah, it's a picture of Sean.
There it is.
A Cosmobiologist dreams.
It's 20 to 90% nitrogen.
Okay, these are Sean's farts.
10 to 30% carbon dioxide.
20 to 90%, okay.
Okay.
Well, hold on.
It can't be 20 to 90% and then hydrogen be 0 to 50%.
This is all over the place.
The nitrogen levels are pretty high.
That's why they all smell different.
Well, methane is what makes it smell bad, right?
That's only 0 between 0 and 10%.
Okay, so he's 99% methane?
Is that where Sean is?
Yeah, that's what I'm saying.
Sean is just like all methane.
You realize if you wear a butt mask, you can make some money.
I feel like people need to stop farting.
Yeah.
Whoa.
You can't do that.
You can do that in the bathroom in your own damn private time.
Can I stand up and start clapping?
Yeah.
I want to give you a standing ovation right now.
I'm just saying, people need to stop farting in public.
That is the most profound comment that's ever been made.
Look at Jeff.
He's kind of like, who is this guy?
Okay, people don't poop in public.
People don't pee in public.
Hold on.
If you are in California.
But let's not fart in public.
San Francisco.
Can we just, can we end this?
Can we do all bathrooms?
I'll tell you what, if they stop cigarette smoking in public, I'll stop farting in public.
What's wrong with smoking?
Smoking doesn't do anything to the people.
I don't like cigarette smoking in public, especially when I'm sitting at a restaurant.
I don't like loud music.
What?
Do you ever see that bullshit?
What are you, communist?
You ever see the Penn and Teller bullshit?
He goes to see White Zombie.
They did the one on smoking, secondhand smoking.
And they're like-
Marilyn Manson.
Was it White Zombie or Marilyn Manson?
Which one did you go to see?
I don't know.
I don't know what you're going to see.
White, Rob Zombie actually was with Marilyn Manson, by the way.
It was a dual tour.
And you went to it?
Yeah.
I would have loved that concert.
But that's loud music.
He says, which one?
Well, of course I like loud music.
I'm, I'm just, I'm just sarcastic.
You're completely fucking with him.
I get that.
Sarcasm.
It's facetiousness.
So, that word?
Damn, I forgot what I was going to say.
Oh, God.
It was a good one, too.
Oh, yeah.
I'm sorry.
It was a good one, too.
It was a singer.
What had to do with farts?
Marilyn Manson.
No, Marilyn Manson.
She was almost dead when I saw him on concert.
And then, by the way, two shows later, he had a heat stroke in Houston.
The hell?
What's wrong?
I was, I was telling my wife, I was like, this, this fool's dead.
Like, he's like laying over this pulpit and like laying on the ground.
Marilyn Manson.
Wait, a heat stroke performing?
Yeah.
He was, him and Rob Zombie went on tour together.
Rob Zombie's got some fantastic funk.
I don't see either one.
I love Rob Zombie.
I don't see either one of those guys being very healthy.
Rob Zombie's awesome.
He's a writer and a director.
He's written books.
Okay, so he's healthy.
He's insane, dude.
He's...
So, so the other guy, Marilyn Manson is not healthy.
Well, but he was in Texas and he had a heat stroke two shows later.
Marilyn Manson is an actor and that sings and he's just...
He beats up women, too.
Yeah, he got torn up.
Yeah, he's got fake boobies.
Yeah, but he denied it all.
Well, there's a documentary out there that that girl put out.
See?
Here we go.
Documentaries.
Yeah.
Yeah, it's true.
If it's true, the evidence points to whatever I decided.
So, how did he used to beat the women up with what?
Here we go.
No, he mentally...
I don't know if he...
I haven't watched it.
I mean, these comes in many forms.
It could be, I think it was mentally and there was some physical in there.
Well, hold on.
Look at the Johnny Depp and Amanda Hurtnick.
Johnny Depp thing is crazy.
Dude, there's mental abuse going on both sides.
Oh my God.
I think both are shit.
Oh, those people hate each other and they were getting crazy with each other.
Dude.
Okay.
You think he's winning?
I don't know much about that Johnny Depp stuff.
All I know is that I'm...
Thank God I'm not married to that woman.
No shit.
To a toxic...
To toxic.
There were...
She's psycho.
Sanity, dude.
So the...
She's going to boil the rabbit.
The court appointed lawyer or the lawyer for the girl.
She was trying to beat up Johnny Depp and start poking at him a little bit and asking about
what kind of drugs are you taking?
She was really focused on his size.
So you can see yourself a lot larger than...
The penis size?
No, no, no.
Height.
In general.
And she was like...
Like Ted Sessions.
Johnny Depp is like...
Like he's a fucking rock.
Pete Sessions.
It says, I wouldn't agree to that statement.
She was saying that she is a big woman.
They have...
Oh, he's badgering.
Yeah, they're totally body shaming him.
She's going to beat him.
So, Mr. Producer, if you were able to pull up Johnny Depp, court...
Amber Heard?
Amber Heard.
Yeah, she's body shaming him.
That's her name.
In the size...
She's such a bitch, man.
That meme makes more sense now.
Amber Heard.
Puns.
She was the redhead in Aquaman.
I never saw Aquaman.
She was the redhead in Aquaman.
She got booted off the next movie.
I don't watch a lot of superhero movies.
She did?
According to Steven, yeah, she got booted off the next...
Yeah, he did.
So did Johnny Depp.
He got booted off of Pirates of the Caribbean.
So they both screwed.
They both screwed each other.
Well, they did.
Well, yeah, she screwed.
Well, that's why he's suing her.
No, the whole thing is that she was telling people that he was beating up her when he
was not beating her up.
Well, she was beating him.
She never named his name.
Well, she put something out on the New York Times.
To the point where he was declined an opportunity to work because of the shenanigans that she
was calling.
Well, he got booted off the latest Harry Potter movie because he was the bad guy in that.
They recast him in that.
Was he really?
And then Disney was going to do Pirates and then they backed out of that because of this
whole thing.
So his career is dead right now.
Yeah, it is.
And he is...
Can you imagine?
He is Pirates of the Caribbean.
I've been in a lot of relationships in my life and I've never been physically abused
by any woman.
That's good.
But if I had been, I would never tell anybody.
You know what I'm saying?
That's the thing.
And you see it in this trial.
How many guys go through this shit?
You see it in this trial.
I think a lot.
I think more than you think.
I feel horrible for this guy because you can't do anything about it.
You can't do anything.
What do you do about it?
And that's what he says.
He says, I've never hit a woman.
I've never done...
Nobody would believe you.
Memes, but a meme's an addition.
That's fucked up, man.
See, this is where it's hard to be a guy sometimes.
It's a no-win situation for a dude.
And then he goes out here and he tells a story and he's getting ripped up on Twitter and
all that shit.
Making fun of him?
Yeah.
Oh, are you a pussy getting beaten up by your wife?
Yeah, but he had some pretty funny comebacks during the trial.
I was trying to find him up there, but we couldn't find him.
Did he sound like Jack Sparrow?
He's got a weird voice.
They talk about his relationship with Marilyn Manson.
Can we do video right now, please?
And they were like, well, have you ever done cocaine with Marilyn Manson?
Yes, I have.
Have you ever done pills?
He says, no.
Have you ever supplied pills to Marilyn Manson?
And Johnny Depp said, well, it's because I wanted him to stop talking so much.
Right?
So he throws a little zinger out there?
Nice.
And it's just like, have you ever woke up in the morning and started drinking?
He was like, well, I didn't really think happy or I had a specific time labeled to it.
So I heard the judge told the crowd, do no more laughing.
So that must be what the reference is to.
That was one of them.
The judge got like cracked down.
He told them, no more laughing in his courtroom.
The lawyer said, they were questioning his size versus her size.
And he was just like, well, I wouldn't categorize myself as being bigger than she.
We're almost the same size.
And the look on her face when he said that, the meme is they've got this clown music playing
on her.
She's kind of like.
Look at side to side, up and down.
It's crazy though.
It's too bad we can't pull up any video.
Hey guys, this is getting tons of press.
I have.
It's getting tons of press.
I have always been a big Johnny that bad.
Me too.
I love the weird movies that he does.
Me too.
What's Eating Gilbert Grape and like all this weird shit that he does.
Because I like weird movies.
I don't like mainstream blockbuster movies.
So I've always been appreciative of his weird choices of Ed Wood.
Right.
Like we could nonetheless.
Or to stand up and say that your wife beat you.
It takes balls.
It takes balls, man.
It takes serious balls.
We've got some quotes here.
I've never struck any woman in my life.
Misheard in her frustration and in her rage and her anger, she would strike out.
She would.
It could begin with a slap.
It could begin with a shove.
It could begin with throwing a TV remote at my head.
It could be throwing a glass of wine in my face.
It was a photograph of the bed, our bed.
So she drops a deuce.
Oh yeah.
She took a shit.
It was human fecal matter.
Holy shit.
Yeah.
So I shit on his bed.
Well, he wasn't around.
It wasn't a good time to go down there?
Well, he was out of town and his maid had called.
Oh, I thought he meant down in the clodger region.
No.
Yeah, they weren't into defecating on each other.
I would like to thank every girl I've ever been with right now for not shitting on my
side of the bed.
You should have physically squat.
Have you ever seen the cartoon where it says the guy, the guy's laying there and he's got
this big steaming shit on his forehead.
Why would you have that?
No, no, no.
Hold on.
And he says, I said, sit on my face.
No.
Is that from porn?
Gross.
Actually, it's from Playboy.
Dude, she shit on his side of the bed.
Yeah, it's bad.
Did she sleep into it afterwards?
I assume no.
No, she took a shit and left.
And then the house cleaner, the housekeeper.
The house cleaner identified, she was like, hey man, this isn't dog shit because I pick
up your dog shit around the house and I know everything about you.
This is girthy.
Well, she also said she ate corn last night and there's lots of corn in there.
And beans.
You know, corn doesn't break down.
And curry.
I don't need to know anything else.
About celery.
What the?
Oh, celery doesn't break down either?
Is celery like corn?
It has very high content of curry in my diet the last week.
Celery strings.
Am I right on this?
Corn doesn't break down.
Like you always say you have the corn shit.
I know you always find it in there.
It doesn't matter.
Hold on.
Who finds corn?
I mean, what are you like rummaging through your poop?
Well, no, anybody who eats corn.
Do you masticate your corn until it's like nothing?
Okay, first off, every guy after he takes a shit, he looks down there because it's like
a big one.
Well, you should.
And it's like a record.
Every time it's a record.
Right?
That's not true.
If you eat corn, you're like looking at it and you're like, oh, but these.
But here's the thing.
There's only only when I feel there's a record breaker.
Do I even look down there?
Otherwise, I just flush.
There's like a courtesy flush.
You should check this size, shape and I do.
I look at your shit to make sure it's healthy.
I look at every time.
Yeah, because they're well, I mean, once in a blue moon, I do.
But black, there's blood in it.
And I see the corn.
I see corn when I eat corn.
Because if you go to the bathroom and it's all blood, you probably should know that.
So you probably just take a look.
And remember, and this is a good this is a good health.
Yeah, this is a good health tip.
So if you see in your stool that there's dried, dried blood is dark.
Yeah, it's black.
It's almost black, which means if you are bleeding in your stomach and intestines before
and it's dry, yes, but if it's bright red, then you have hemorrhoids.
Right.
It's it's at the very tail end.
You've you've eaten a lot of the digestive.
You know, you guys have your like your BM caliper so you can like measure the size.
I actually measure it every time I pull it out.
I smell it.
I taste it.
Do put your mouth around it.
Talk about the calipers.
Just kind of know when you have brought up calipers a lot.
Well, he's got to be a caliper.
So let's talk about calipers.
Well, you have a set of like 200 calipers.
You have to have an accurate measure.
That's true.
And the only way to accurately measure it was the caliper.
But I think he has a very unique set.
It's got to be a very unique set.
Have you ever tried to measure the girth of a poo?
Yeah, I mean, it's very soft.
Yeah.
Well, you gotta be.
Jeff's poop.
Well, you have very wide poops.
Sometimes it's like a big pineapple grenade.
It's like a it's like a code.
It's just nice.
It's a chode poop.
It's like a huge Elmer's glue.
An arm.
OK, this is run its course.
Yeah.
Can we?
On behalf of our one listener, we're going to move on to a new topic.
The bourbon that's on the screen.
Yes.
Go ahead and bring us into this.
What is the bourbon?
That's what we drank.
LW Sinclair four grain.
We did.
Oh, OK.
It's going to glass and beyond distillation.
60% hearts.
30% dark arts.
It's kind of like a black dark arts.
Let's do some.
We all have like a cauldron.
It's kind of satanic.
That's the four green concoction that they pull out.
Is this a satanic bourbon going on?
Who's the gay wizard on on a double?
Is this a Dumbledore?
Why is there a double door banging?
Anyway, is it going to be gay?
Grindelwald, the bad guy.
Johnny Depp's character.
Quiet.
You're lying.
No.
Did you see the movie?
I just said double doors banging.
Johnny Depp.
Did you say the word banging?
Who said the word banging?
I don't know if they show penetration.
Oh, well, you know, was there some simulated stuff?
I don't.
I haven't seen the movie.
I don't know.
You're spoiling it for me.
I want to know who he's banging.
I don't want you to tell me.
It's the it's the no.
He has a relationship with the bad guy.
Grindelwald.
I don't know what they show or what they talk about.
I don't know.
I don't know what they show or what they talk about.
So he's got some sort of prison yard thing going on.
I can't.
I can't see the movie.
I don't know.
I can't do this.
I'm out on any of this.
Yeah, I'm out.
I'm out, too.
Can we take a vote on if we move on to Lee W. Sinclair?
All right.
So it's it's double pots.
Distilled this one that we drank was not a hundred proof.
That's not a bottle of Bob Hunter proof.
This one was a single hundred and seven.
Seven point seven.
It was potent.
Yes, it was very tasty.
I don't know what store pick it was, though.
This total one.
Hold on.
Pump the brakes.
I think it was total.
I think it was Liquor King.
Yeah, it was.
Yeah, because it wasn't total one.
It was definitely like I would have noticed total one.
Really?
Yeah, it's got a big tag on it because look, just puts a stick around.
I think.
Nice.
Look at you.
We're becoming a sticker.
Yeah.
I'm going to get a barrel someday.
Why?
I'd be really cool.
Yeah.
Do we not have any bourbon on the table?
Paul's got a.
Whoa.
What's going on?
Paul requested bourbon.
Well, we don't have any bourbon on the table.
I know.
Well, why don't you get your deaf ass over there and go pick one up?
There's no bourbon here.
I'm actually drinking mick.
Our American.
So he just went into the special needs category.
He did.
And he walked out there.
You did.
What are you talking about?
He just slandered a hearing impaired person.
Hold on.
We can't be slandered.
You said deaf motherfucker.
That's an oxymoron.
You can't say both.
You said why don't you get your deaf ass.
Is that a double negative?
I heard deaf ass.
Get your deaf ass up.
Look at you guys.
You guys are more woke than you think you are.
Right?
I like to have fun with it.
Shit, I'm so deaf.
He does.
I am hearing impaired.
Yeah.
He is.
I'm totally deaf.
The only reason I can hear what you're saying is because I have headphones.
I'm sorry, what did you say?
Exactly.
We envisioned Paul like in the 80s when he had the large hearing aids.
You know how the Cloud City from Star Wars?
No.
You watched Star Wars, right?
Large hearing aids.
What does that mean?
Empire Strives Back or the Cloud City.
Who is that?
Uncle Nearest?
Oh, I love Uncle Nearest.
Okay, so Uncle Nearest was the, he was a guy.
He wasn't anything.
He was a guy that worked at Jack Daniels.
So, the people that started Uncle Nearest, they started Uncle Nearest Whiskey, it's about
30 miles north of where Jack Daniels is.
Pass along, absolutely.
Keep talking, but I'm going to make an order.
So, the investors of Uncle Nearest, they want to be bought out by Jack Daniels, which makes
sense that Jack Daniels would buy a successful whiskey called Uncle Nearest, being Uncle Nearest
actually worked at Jack Daniels.
And, and.
It's good whiskey too.
Yeah, he's very good.
He.
Solid.
Jack Daniels had huge respect for that guy too.
Yeah, well, Jack Daniels died from kicking a safe.
So, there's that.
You ever see that story?
I've been, I've been to the.
He got mad, he couldn't open the safe and he kicked it and he broke his toe, which got
infected, which led to him amputating his foot.
This is what?
Amputating his knee, amputating his leg and he died.
Do they cleave him in half?
So, it was interesting, but back to the story of the, of the, of the black dude.
Yeah, the black guy.
He was the only black guy that worked at the distillery.
Like literally out of any picture that was there.
Thank you.
You could spot him because he was the only black guy.
He was in every picture.
But he was free.
Which by itself was a massive thing back then.
Oh yeah.
Which means it showed a tremendous respect for this dude.
Totally not normal.
I love it.
Uncle Nearest was, which is more crazy that a whiskey was started outside of the Jack
Daniels family.
Yes.
Which out of respect.
Which, and then here you go.
So, okay.
So think about this, right?
So there was a black guy that was referred to as Uncle Nearest that worked at Jack Daniels,
right?
And we all know the Jack Daniels story and all this stuff goes down.
Now outside people started a whiskey named after this guy.
Yeah.
And he's not involved in it?
They have nothing to do with Jack Daniel.
But did it have to do with him?
No.
The people that started this whiskey have nothing to do.
Even the dude had nothing to do.
But they knew of the name to try to capitalize on the name.
They want to sell it to Jack Daniels is what they wanted to know.
Well, I mean, why not?
Hey, we're going to start a whiskey.
We're going to put the distillery 30 miles north of Jack Daniel.
There's only two major distilleries in Tennessee anyway.
And Jack Daniels, yeah, Dickle and Jack Daniels.
So now you're going to put 30 miles north of Lynchburg, Tennessee, which basically
is shit.
Nothing there.
I mean, even Lynchburg, there's nothing to dry county and all that bullshit.
Yeah, that that's fucking stupid.
I know you went on the tour.
We were like so excited to drink Jack Daniels.
They were like, you can't know you can now.
But then so Jack Daniels is actually charging 50 percent more for liquor bought on site
now that they got a change to a wet count.
It's bullshit.
It's such a tourist trap.
It's total garbage.
The only reason I went there is because that's what my wife drinks.
I literally took a giant detour to Kentucky to make my wife happy, which is fine.
But this uncle near shit.
It's good.
And it's good whiskey.
It's good whiskey.
It's not bourbon, but it's whiskey.
It's good.
It's premium whiskey.
Jack Daniels needs to buy it because I know people that I'm invested in.
Jack Daniels is technically a bourbon, but they don't market it.
They don't want to be a bourbon.
Yeah, it is a bourbon, but they are technically a bourbon.
They are technically a bourbon, but technically a bourbon.
Yeah, they are.
The first rule of bourbon is you have to want to be a bourbon.
Well, come on.
They don't say that in the list.
I mean, but they let me put let me say they meet all the requirements.
They do meet the requirements to put bourbon on a label, but they choose not to.
Because they're a Tennessee whiskey.
Right.
And I respect that.
I'm okay with that.
I'm totally okay with that.
But you know, a lot of times when people say they're a whiskey and then you think to yourself,
okay, are they saying they're a whiskey because they don't meet the requirements of a bourbon?
Right.
So, yes.
No, they meet the requirements.
They do.
They just don't want to be a bourbon.
And I don't blame them, right?
They want to differentiate themselves.
Well, here's the thing.
If you're if you're a Tennessee and you've been doing this as long as yeah, if you've
been doing this as long as Kentucky has no.
Why would you be like, I'm not going to cater to your little your bourbon?
How long has Jack Daniels been doing?
I don't think the result is bourbon.
They've been around.
Well, Elijah Craig is supposedly the father of bourbon, right?
Okay.
So that was one story.
That was right.
Then he burnt the fish barrels because that was back in when the Saxons invaded the.
That was the three.
That was 1206.
Those three guys ever see the documentary?
The what?
Did you see the documentary Neat on Hulu?
Meet the Freddie, Freddie Johnson, Freddie Mercury.
Freddie Mercury.
Neat.
See the doctor.
We're all over the place right now.
Great.
And Freddie Mercury.
That's what I heard.
There's a great documentary on.
I think it was on Hulu and it's about bourbon and it's with Freddie Johnson, which he's
like third or fourth generation at Buffalo Trace.
Nice.
So I hadn't seen the documentary when I went on.
But as it skewed towards.
I went on the barrel to because it's a documentary.
I went on the barrel tour.
Sorry, I got that.
So that was the only the only tour was available.
We actually went up.
Long story.
Anyway, so Freddie Johnson was our tour guide.
OK.
And so we're walking around and the guy's like, he's like, oh, my God, because you know
who our tour guide.
I'm like, no, I don't know.
And he goes, because shit, he's the star of this documentary.
What documentary?
It's called Neat and whatever.
So I actually watched it when we got back.
Nice.
And he's like, like third generation.
I mean, he fucking knows.
He grew up at Buffalo Trace and he was a tour guide.
Yeah, he was our tour guide.
You wish you had known.
No, the guy told me like literally when we left.
I know.
But you watch the documentary after.
But what you saw is him and our friends on Facebook now.
You see that too.
Nice.
My God.
Freddie Johnson.
Nice.
But now it's not that big a deal because I realized that all this shit is bullshit anyway.
What is?
What are we doing all this bourbon shit?
No, come on.
Well, OK, so the whole.
A little bit of territorial stuff.
The whole Kentucky magic is bullshit.
But I have I had a I have a foolproof Garrison Brothers that is literally two years old.
Right.
That is one of the best bourbons you've ever had.
And it's cast dry.
So it's like a like one hundred twenty five proof.
Right.
It was me.
Right.
Meaning we live in a hot weather environment.
Correct.
So like that barrels like this crammed into that.
Oh, yeah.
You know what I'm saying?
I do.
And they run those little 15 barrels.
Yeah, we're talking about the small ones.
I've been a little 15 gallon barrels, which which is good.
The you know, that are are are illustrious.
Congress got distracted with covid and bullshit and whatever.
Here's the problem when they're not distracted by a major issue, they start making laws about other stuff.
Because, you know, that's what they do.
Right.
Like they make law.
About what?
So there was there was a big push before covid to require bourbon to be barreled and 55 gallon barrel.
Gotcha.
OK.
Not the little ones.
And not the 1520.
Well, he was pushing that, though.
A bunch of dipshit.
What lobbyists were pushing?
I don't know.
The Kentucky.
I bet the right bourbon has lobbyists.
You know how traction gets?
You know, yeah.
I bet you.
So where you're going that was I bet you somehow Kentucky would have an influence on Texas forcing that.
The bourbon lobbyists.
The state of Texas.
I mean, I'm going to Texas, it's like every time I hear about people, they want to make law and I'm like, we need to stop these idiots from making law.
Right.
The more laws they make, the less freedom we have.
I agree with that.
Stop fucking making law.
That's a general that's a general deal on the state level, on the city level, on the federal level.
Let's let's let us work it out ourselves.
I love that.
You know, we could figure this out.
We're humans.
We're adults.
We're we're grown.
Yeah, we can figure this out.
We don't need you in Austin or Washington or all these places to figure it out for us.
Anyway, there's no Johnson right there.
I love it.
Yeah.
So how many of those have you had?
So the Buffalo Trace standard, we've got what?
Two tankards out there.
Yeah.
They got the Pappies, the Blanton's, the D.H. Taylor.
I see the Blanton's.
I see the Blanton's bottle.
And then Stagg.
I've got a couple of bottles.
I got I got a bottle of Stagg 2019 Stagg.
Yeah, I just picked up a bottle of E.H.
Taylor.
It should be here.
It should be here this weekend.
You got a picture.
We get a bottle of what?
E.H.
Taylor, Colonel E.H.
Taylor.
Yeah.
Is it the regular?
It's the small batch.
OK, I have a small batch and I have a single barrel.
Well, the single barrel Sean was going to get.
It's hard to get.
And well, I was out in and it was actually in Cursin City, Nevada.
And the place I went to had Blanton's.
It had the single barrel E.H.
Taylor, the small batch E.H.
Taylor had a Stagg, had Elmer T. Lee, had a bunch of them.
Wow.
And I picked up the small batch and I thought I was going to say a single barrel.
I thought the single barrel was ninety nine bucks.
It was marked up.
And Sean said he wanted it, so I went back and it was like and I'm it was it was way in the back.
Of course, you couldn't see it was behind the counter.
It was one ninety nine.
It was two hundred bucks instead of ninety nine.
I was like, son of a bitch.
I'm going to scratch that.
I'm not going to.
Yeah, I wouldn't.
I wouldn't.
No, it's too much.
It's too much.
Yeah.
So I scratched.
I was like, I'm not doing it.
But and then he wouldn't even tell me the price of the Weller cast strength.
Why?
He wouldn't even tell you.
He wouldn't tell me.
He was like, you know, I'm going to give you a discount.
I'm going to be like, you're going to give me a discount if it's too high.
It's too high.
And he owns the store.
It was the owner of the store.
I'm like, fuck you.
You tell me what the price is.
Maybe it's way high because I was like six hundred bucks.
I bought it to two hundred.
Right.
I was like, I was like, there's no way I'm paying.
That's what you get to where you screwed up.
And still, you should have said, I got my to spend here, bro.
So is it eight ninety nine?
Oh, it's not that much, sir.
But the but the the special reserve so we have two tankards out there of the special
reserve the big weller with the green label we paid 40 bucks for the 1.75 and the worth
one million they wanted ninety nine dollars for the 750 wow so cha-ching that that's so
that's the 750 for 90 or 100 bucks is that ever been opened what out here yeah we have
a partial we have a full one that's never been opened good put that in the safe and
very in the backyard the backyard barrier barrier all right I'll do it very with all
the cash and they had some good ones but that was the only store that had that allocated
stuff yeah everyone that I went into didn't have shit it was just a regular they had the
eagle rare here you go they had the eagle rare for a hundred bucks that's a thirty dollar
bottle and MSRP so um like I'm kind of curious like if you were that it's not on right now
well um so DeSantis I'm kind of curious we're talking about a little bit about the the bourbon
and purchasing it in different counties and stuff like that well DeSantis is uh they're
basically stripping um the powers of Disney and I'm kind of curious if does Disney have
does Disney have there's it's not the power oh yeah there's no stripping away their governmental
it's a special district okay so so in 1955 okay but but these are Florida law is based
on Spanish law okay so Texas law is based on Mexican law which is very similar to Spanish
law right so Florida and Texas have a very similar legal structure in our property rights
that makes sense it makes total sense yeah it's French and that's why all the counties
are parishes right yeah so kind of like lost cleanness to Irving Texas well not quite but
Texas and and and and Florida are very similar tech Disney has a special district which is
basically its own city they govern themselves they govern themselves well it's not that
govern themselves but it's it's a city where they provide their own services okay so like
you could do a special district in Texas that's what most of these the rural communities go
to now like like Don Huffins I don't know what you feel about Dove and Huffins but Don
Huffins developer wise total piece of shit so what he does is he develops these these
these housing projects in rural areas and he defines them as a special district so what
you do is you put a trailer on a thousand acres of land and you have the person living
in the trailer votes to to designate a special district guy once it's designated a special
district by the majority of Revenson's which is the one guy living in the trailer now you
can issue bonds for whatever now it's in in Florida it's very similar to Texas because
so a rural community can issue bonds for ambulance service guy they can issue bonds for water
they can issue bonds for this so Disney has a special district in Florida that spans two
different counties and they it's not that they govern themselves but they provide their
own services they provide their own police they provide their own fire they defied their
own water sewer everything and court systems and code enforcement and code enforcement
and Sharia law well I mean the county's on Sharia law but counties aren't I think it
is in a certain part of Epcot so now what we have is in Florida is a special case where
a the governing people of the state the governing legislature is pushing back against a corporation
who doesn't agree with them which is totally fucked by the way there are there are some
laws that are against that that you cannot go be a governor or a political office and
do something I won't say vindictive but something detrimental to a to a individual or corporation
there are laws out there that prevent that and you should already happened they passed
it well they passed it they did yeah they passed it I mean Disney's fucked so they're
not fucked they just they have to change they have to change a few things so Disney has
about and people don't even know they estimate about two billion dollars worth of bond okay
so what Disney does is they issue bonds to create infrastructure and and they're heavily
there I go I say they could recreate roads sewer water right you know whatever let's
fly that's what happened back in the day because it was a swamp yeah it was developed land
a total shit hole everything to develop it so Disney developed it and then so what they
do is they issue bonds there's only 54 people that live on Disney property and those people
have to pay taxes and whatever under this stuff regulation so Disney pays like I don't
know what it was I think it's like 180 million dollars a year and bond payments towards these
bonds right because Disney obviously what these bonds paid right you know it's their
infrastructure like it's their whole setup it's their whole system the problem with taking
away the special district is now these bonds that are due like these are money owed are
spread to the two counties because Disney is in two different counties right and now
you have the counties have to take over and provide the services for firefighters sewer
you know this that the streets go bad the soundings have to do it now Disney doesn't
do it and you have all this shit and then you also have this deal where where Disney
was making overpayments to the bonds into the tune of like almost 200 million dollars
a year right like they were paying towards these bonds right they're not required to
do that anymore and they may choose to well I also well again I've done well verse to
this but they're gonna have to pay taxes now of course a property taxes already but do
they it's the same it's the same the bonds via the bonds yeah but I think I think it's
gonna be more now because they're gonna know pay the for Disney it'll be about 200 million
dollars less because Disney was overpaying the bond yeah I'm not sure to Santas I mean
and I'm not well versed either but I'm not sure to Santas would do this if it didn't
really if it didn't like really bite what was really hurt do you believe that the Santas
did it simply for the fact that of course Disney stepped up and was like hey we want
to call gay people gay in the four years retaliation for taking a woke stand it was retaliation
I don't care what the issue when when elected officials take a stand and punish a corporation
I hear you for whatever they're fucking fucking Disney Disney is taking advantage of a tax
break or taking advantage of a of a certain I you know legislative or bureaucratic advantage
then fuck them I think what's gonna happen you know these two counties are gonna be overloaded
by two billion dollars and bonds okay two billion dollars and bonds sure most people
have to be most people have to say about 1.7 billion whatever two billion dollars in bond
you're gonna dump this on the county right right or two counties and and then you're
gonna be like all right counties bring on the firefighter what well I read an article
better have a hiring fair well because we need fire support you know I'm saying that
that tax burn is not gonna go on to those counties they've there there's something I
can't again I'm not well versed but I just read a headline that they're not gonna be
responsible for all those taxes like the the media is saying they will well they'll they'll
I mean the counties are gonna be responsible for the bond they said the people will not
be responsible for increased taxes the good news is there's not that many people in either
county like these aren't major metropolis you know what I'm saying I actually I have
a solution we're gonna find out and I'm not a New Yorker any New Yorker or Californian
that moves to California to Florida has to pay for whatever Disney I don't think that
works why not why not that should be because there is a because now you're because we have
a bunch of your races now you're now you're special interest selecting I know I know I
can't and wait till the other parties in charge he was like he was voicing concern about the
Californians and New Yorkers that are moving to Florida and bring in their votes with them
just like Texas right what he said the same thing yeah about you know don't bring your
Californian you know our two blue 25% Cubans 25% but the reality the reality of it is is
that even though the reality of it is is that it should have never been that way from the
get-go no regardless whose laws it was based on well Disney never should have come out
and so we're going to actually actively they should have done a time ago your bill corporate
a California company should not have come to Florida says we're gonna try to overturn
your absolutely corporate America corporate America should stay out of politics 100% they
should be no they shouldn't yes they should fuck they're the biggest contributor from
politics that who do you think all the politics money comes well sure it is yeah well that
shit but it should the Supreme Court actually the pockets of the politicians it doesn't
line the American citizens the Supreme Court actually ruled that corporations are people
remember that quote from Romney I do remember I remember corporations are people and they
should have a voice the Supreme Court actually ruled that and and and we're in the shit system
but if you don't think the money controls politics it does fucking retarded you don't
think I don't think it's right everything in this country is but that's a capitalistic
society okay so I love living in a capitalistic society right I love it like I am totally
on board but do you think the Disney infrastructure was a capitalistic society hey you know what
look here's that's that's a that's a kingdom no you know they had a special district we
have special districts all over North Texas like every Huffines development you know all
the shit up on 380 drive down 380 all the Jerry Jones shit and fucking that well actually
the Jerry Jones shit is not special this really which I don't know why he doesn't say that
community north of yeah so the any Savannah no Savannah that's a cool little it's not
the fucking hood so I don't think so I think those little homes are total shitholes because
they're why they're built to know stay because you had Cheech and Chunk counting those things
out on the economy right total shitholes there's no building standards there's no building
inspections there's no nothing because it's county land and he put one fuckhead on a trailer
and he votes a special district and then you create bonds for the roads sewer water trash
everything and then the whole mess all the homes built in the Savannah subdivisions and
all that they're all shit no no code and no look at their look at their taxes they have
permits and they have code enforcement but there's a bar they're subpar they have county
permits but look at their taxes and they have line items for everything brother also they
can screw it on the I have so what happens when all those roads are shit and need to
be replaced who's picking up the bill the homeowners yeah what happens when the water
lines break and they need repairs who's picking up the bill yeah dude Hugh Coleman was a Denton
County Commissioner and fought the special district tooth and nail to the point where
the last time he won re-election his opponent got 200 almost 300 250 almost 300,000 dollars
in donations from developers of course and he won and he lost the last time he ran because
he just got outpaced I mean right at some point there money wins a lot there at some
point there's so much money that and the developers hate him because they want the special district
because this with the special district now I don't have to build all the road I don't
have to put in the yeah yeah no no I hear you I can pass that shit well I'll be honest
I had no idea I had no idea that shit goes on every day the actual buildings themselves
in the savannas they're trash they're absolutely trash I have remodeled several of those buildings
in there and they're absolute trash I tell you what code why profit poorly built okay
so you've got you've got a 25 you got let's say 2500 square foot house and the electrical
distribution of the house is 12 gauges 14 gauge wire in there as opposed to 12 gauge
I mean it's just it's all subpar they're absolutely the breaker boxes aren't even 600 volts I
think they're like you know 400 volts or something like that Providence Village piece of shit
and that's what the Providence Village actually went into Aubrey right so like the initial
few phases were not in Aubrey right and then it started growing and growing into Aubrey
and so that's when they had the major vote to turn it into Paloma or what was it not
Paloma Creek as a Providence Village and so now it's the town of Providence Village they
don't have to deal with Aubrey anymore because the watering down the codes watering down
making it cheap it's making it cheap yeah yeah when that those were first built 15 years
ago whatever we drive by cuz we got some friends up in our but we drive by I was like oh those
are nice brand new nice and colorful right they're really colorful yeah all these different
colors and a bunch of lakes my first we wanted to buy a house there do you sell it was $92,000
by the way wish I'd have bought that shit I don't give a shit how you know what Fox
and Jacob are there home values like home values are going fucking crazy right now it's
crazy so is he going crazy there too well I mean everybody is scaled up so yeah when
you're in the center of the city the home values are you know super absolutely and as
you go out it's less but yeah I'm no they've they've appreciated meaning you can like criticize
all you want about code and this and that I agree but if you had bought early yummy
you but here's the deal so go to go to Carrollton Plano Frisco Allen oh yeah wherever Fox and
Jacobs built yeah when I was 16 years old my mom bought a house in Carrollton and it
was a Fox and Jacobs house Fox and Jacob she bought it for $98,000 and it was a dumb dumb
total fucking piece of shit total dump not a dump it was a nice house I got you I got
you I got you it was a nice neighborhood at the time but it's a total piece of shit I
mean it's a total like those houses built and they were designed to live so they didn't
care they didn't do anything get it out as fast as possible I did the cheap house and
they're still there they're still there and what's it worth now and you know what oh Jesus
I sold it for 210 over 10 years ago I Jesus probably worth $350,000 right now if not $400,000
crazy numbers are being thrown out right now 500 600 700 thousand dollars are going to
keep going around right now the house next to me sold for $550,000 California numbers
are being thrown around right now guys ridiculous five six seven hundred thousand dollars are
being thrown around I got divorced I ran out of an apartment I rented a house I bought
this house over like literally five minutes from here and it was 215,000 and I had a pool
and the only reason I bought it is because I had a pool that's what you live in now yeah
yeah and it's worth what oh 570 580 600 that much I remember my guy down the street sold
for 415 with no pool it's getting there quick I'm telling you we're having astronomical
astronomical home value it's gonna be a weird deal because big bubble it's gonna crash but
why is it about yeah right it's cuz the why would it crash fucking New Yorkers and Californians
no so here's the deal so everybody talks to me about crash everybody talks to me about
bubble and so honestly the major problem is investors yeah and not just the asshole that
bought a couple rental properties you know whatever yeah the biggest problem is I have
sold houses over the last five years to companies that are literally trying to buy 25,000 houses
in the air oh good lord 25,000 houses to rent them all rent out yeah Airbnb right because
the rents are strong so when you have these dickheads coming in here and buying up everything
and now the Dallas City Council is talking about rental zones and they're trying to figure
it out I'm like that's what we need they're trying to shut it down we don't need government
to fix like even in our HOA they're trying to limit the amount of air bmbs HOAs right
HOA just passed a race as well as they're trying to limit the amount of rental properties
within a community and should they I think they should I think they should too because
actually you know if you don't believe in the free market then yeah no no it's a good
point it's a good point I'll back them on this one that's a good point no but look the
homeowners there want their properties to maintain the integrity and value of it so
it can those communities maintain the integrity of value and that's a good point you've got
a bunch of renters in the in the village and no you cannot and look at all the look at
all the other rules about HOA how do you support property right and tell people they can't
rent their property out you know what that is difficult it's totally difficult that's
where but that's where the strong arm of an HOA board comes in yeah but remember remember
what the purpose of an HOA is right they want everybody's house integrity yes everybody's
the neighborhood should look good the yard should look manicured I don't need to be taking
care of their shit I don't know but I know right but nobody so in my last neighborhood
somebody was a what do you call it was shortwave radio guy and they had the big fucking antenna
we said bro I'm sorry you put it up you got to take it down right and it was because that's
unsightly you got to and he tried he made this big push he's like but I'm good for the
community I can tell you I can tell you if storms are coming I can tell you this and
we're like yeah and the zombie apocalypse happened and we felt bad I felt so bad for
the guy but I was on the board I was like bro it doesn't matter you can't have that
fucking you should have read the rules right and the bylaw said you can't do that and so
I'm with Sean like it no you can't here's the thing here's the thing I why should a
neighbor why should like old let's say we've got two elderly couple over here and a young
couple with young little tiny kids over here and the house in the middle is renting every
weekend and they're partying and thumb thumb thumb thumb every week and they're throwing
up in the front yard yeah and they're right in the bed and they're doing all the other
things in his house now it's a party in Sean's house seriously why should they put well they
pay their dues to the HOA they should have a neighborhood that's quiet and most most
cities have noise noise ordinance right they have a lot of ordinances in each community
each way communities have a lot of ordinances too they've got firework or people ignore
that well Sean ignores that well you know what I didn't ignore it the people around
me my friends that came over abused my property excuse me yeah Sean was up there lighting
the your son came over and freaking set off a YouTube bomber and the children of both
of you which by the way it was you correct me if I'm wrong was it your son that brought
over the bomb it was it was Stephen who brought the nuclear bomb over yes dude this he set
off this firework that was premature so there was radioactive poison it was dude this one
went off it was so loud and it fired off so premature it was like a hundred foot over
the house and it set off every car alarm at a quarter mile full-size my sister-in-law
who lives across the street was like she she knew it was me she was like what the fuck
I love it we should be able to fire off fire we had three cops we had three cops sitting
outside the house they did that cops and sit up they were like up and down the street like
catching people leaving our house like hoping to get them for you know they're just hanging
out knocking on the door going hey we're still here go here light off another one because
hey hey do you have any water so close yeah they're not ringing the doorbell hey you have
any water we're gonna be here all night I used to go to a buddy's house on fourth and
he was like every year and and there was a guy that came and he set up fireworks and
smoke bombs and all this shit and no cops ever showed up oh no no we had three but it's
okay we had the Frisco SWAT team outside I was gonna say first off first off he's already
on their radar Sean's on their radar if there's a no flies the list there's absolutely a no
flies zone for you I'm actually friends with the Frisco police chief he gives you absolutely
are you name dropping you give me no benefits at all every year except for my very soft
hands every year for my birthday I'm like I'm like can I get my get out of jail free
card and he's like no but you try anyway is that like you're on your way to the massage
parlor I tried this morning shit I saw him this morning I was like hey what's up gonna
get that hold on what are you trying to get a get out of free yeah cuz I'm yeah yeah
yeah I'm just saying is your free time it's like if on the very rare occurrence that
I could get a free pass free pass on that one percent you know it's funny come on not
funny but like small towns where everybody knows each other like when I say small town
small town small town small towns like where there's one cop or two cops and then and
Billy Billy like leaves Frankie's house and he's swerving around and the cop pulls him
over and he's like hey stop doing that he's like Billy what are you doing he's like I'm
sorry I was at Frankie's house he and I were watching the basketball game Billy why is
your pants down shut up anyway the point is he's like and he says hold on the cop says
the cop says Billy Billy you need to go home yeah I gotta go home go home so he follows
him home and he makes sure he goes to bed and his wife Julie says sorry no reference
no his wife Hannah says thank you for bringing Billy home I get what you're saying but the
reality is not here anymore we don't live in that world anymore the reality is this
is black and white I'm telling you small town America is just like that we're not small
town America we have a quarter million people that live here I hate that there are there
are folks out there there are law enforcement folks out there right now they don't see gray
it's black or white and the reason why is it has everything to do with the woke folk
you know there was a time no it's not a woke folk thing I don't think it's a woke folk
I disagree with you on this one I think that it's a microcosm of the growth of the yes
no no no I'm disagree so I literally I literally heard this this morning from the police chief
of Frisco no that's a second name job you did no it's the same guy no I'm not trying
to make them trying to you didn't take whoa did you fall asleep over there yeah you hit
your head on the soundboard and the are you okay is everything all right the producer
lost signal and everything yeah we lost a signal he's back the guy oh okay yeah Shaw
hey why don't you show us something relevant to the conversation he's such a dick right
we're all being such dicks no we're laughing at his name Bernard Shaw he fell asleep did
you really he did no he fell asleep he fuck look Brian look we're we're absolutely stunned
on what you're saying yes so the police chief that you know very well no okay I'm not saying
that I'm kidding so but your your buddy police are coming to this area yes because the community
and the community supports police a hundred of course million percent but I think we should
define two years ago police were coming in to this area because of jobs and growth and
stuff okay but today they're coming in because this community supports they accept the police
they support them and that's awesome a million percent a great system going here yes we have
such a great appreciation appreciation for police but which is fine but I mean you know
like Greg Abbott's always now go on I like Greg Abbott that well you like him he had
a tree fall on him he's got no legs yeah whatever look everyone's got an opinion he could wheel
himself off that cliff there's there's a lot of folks there's a lot of folks that have
this feels about Greg Abbott can sit here and say we will have no mask man base except
well yeah but we had the best fucking put but that was Greg Abbott or veto I'll take
Greg Abbott oh well so that's a thing right and I have you know you have the question
oh boy right I'm not voting for me where are you going Brian it's just not happening Brian
no I'm just don't say beat you're not taking my whole if you say beat over ever we're gonna
strangle you so so so so Beto right like a duck beat oh so beat oh beat oh said he wanted
to take everybody's gun oh yeah that's where I take my whole thing take my mother really
and his wife shit to send a duck with a fucking guy in a wheelchair who wait a second who's
who's what who's who's I love people in wheelchair well you know what look I get what you're
saying I didn't say that I did why why don't you like Abbott I don't like Abbott I really
like Greg Perry Rick Perry can we get Rick Perry why don't you like Greg Abbott Greg
Abbott you know one reason I don't like Greg Abbott are you struggling is because of his
relationship and how he handled the Urquhart circumstance okay okay so everything I don't
disagree with that one yes I've had some inside information on his in the fact that he it
took him so long and it's still taking him so long to control the south border forget
what the fuck by jumping on it forget what Biden is doing he has the authority to do
more that's what he's been doing he's been talking to the four governors of Mexico I
would say that the I think I'm stepping up a year and a half exaberate exaberate yeah
look south border we're at we're at 20,000 folks a day coming across the border that
we know of and you're blaming you're blaming Abbott for this I'm not a look look he's
our goddamn governor he's the president of Texas no yeah but he doesn't do you understand
the Constitution D that's a federal border I don't think that is a federal border yeah
border patrol there are yeah that's federal that is it hold on that is a federal border
at some point he said federal is not taking care of it I have to we sent national guards
federal laws that are already in place to support Abbott on what's going on and they're
not doing it and they're not enforcing the current laws in place that's right so whose
job is it to enforce the current laws the federal government the but the federal is
it the federal government absolutely but once 100% once they pass over that border and they
start encroaching into city limits doesn't matter turns it to a state well doesn't matter
that border is a federal border now I will say Abbott is stepping up and and they are
not taking care of it so he is sending National Guardsmen down there and one just died by
the way trying to save people dealers actually yeah trying to say national guard it's weird
like I actually know a national guard that has been deployed down to the border sorry
well what I had well also one of the things is is Abbott is not the most powerful official
in Texas and it's a dipshit there are more there are more powerful political people that
are that have more power than the governor in Texas right the governor Rick Perry used
to be the railroad commissioner I think the railroad commissioner is I think the speaker
of the house why Rick Perry was perfect for the job but guys I'm not saying he wasn't
but but as governor he's perfect for the job Abbott doesn't have the power that I think
we all think he has but that's not but that's also not the point he's the face of Texas
yeah but he has to rely on a lot of other shit to happen he does to pass his stuff but
that's also not the point Brian Brian Brian Brian dudes like us want to know exactly why
you Abbott's a piece of shit yeah because you're you're clearly and look we're not
disagreeing with you but you can't just say that okay you got to come up with some specifics
what's wrong with that what is wrong with just could pick out a couple wait like okay
so he put me on the spot well is it a personality is a policy or personality please pull up
a Abbott reasons why we don't want Abbott in office let's let's provide support because
there are reasons so here's the question is it is a personality or it's very difficult
to spend a lot of good governors of Texas and Richards George W. Bush Bush wasn't bad
that's the first one you went to what are you talking about I'm just going to my adult
hood governor I get you like when I was fucking adult right and then so the number one reason
for it Abbott is a misogynist and wants to take away reproductive freedoms for women
in Texas anything that I said this is this is the progressive Texas website let's stop
looking please he's racist and homophobic right why don't you like Abbott do you have
you have you have to back it up or not okay so Abbott is a guy that gets off on whatever
today's news is right like so what it's Abbott done that doesn't correlate to today's news
well that said can be said with the Santos meaning he's gonna jump to whatever the hot
topic is shit about Florida's government but what governor is not like what my political
person is not like that right no no respond to the immediate need political person is
like right right right right right right right so but but Abbott is is that's what he is
well Abbott could be you know he's been in bed with some some pretty shitty people he's
terrible who who's horrible I don't know I'm just throwing some wings yeah you you you
throw in a lifeline so I'm just I'm trying to I'm trying to give you the the benefit
of the doubt and it's just we're all wanting so Abbott got crushed by a tree right yeah
well what did he do to that and then he wanted a tour form did he call that tree a fat tour
reform right like we gotta get tour reform right we have to have this lawsuit reform
right well because it impacted him right so he knew what he what his experience was this
fucking tree let's let's let's let's get this top let's get this off of you because we're
gonna be changing some subjects I do like the passing of the illegals to Washington
D.C. we do we first of all look Brian this has been an extreme treat for you to be here
on the podcast it is 100% you know you've had a lot of input and we man I've had a great
time they're really absolute fantastic time and we want to brush up on these details though
and we don't want to leave you empty-handed either when it comes to being able to respond
to some of these these questions about Abbott because we want to know about it because dudes
like us are we're dumb we're dumb we're ignorant we're 100% ignorant yeah right and we don't
want to be that we yeah we want to be that guy that goes I hate him but I don't know
why I can't imagine anybody that would not agree with Abbott well it depends Abbott has
a lot of stuff on his in his policy he's got a lot of policies that I agree with you know
so yeah when you say you don't like Abbott or some people don't like Abbott you know
you got to back that up a little bit and let's let's let's just move on a little bit because
I know there's some stuff there because Abbott there are a lot of people that don't like
Abbott and I think it's just unfair to throw this and put you on the spot like this yeah
a little bit okay especially in the second half of the show I would like I would like
to say number one it's total bullshit to wait to the end of the night yeah it is put me
on the fucking spot well this wasn't my design it's some shit I'm supposed to remember details
and stuff so Brian listen to this this is what we do he has a lisp so hold on Brian
listen I have a lisp you have a lisp? I do you can't hear it no not really a lot of people
can't it's because we provided a symbol it's yeah I see this fancy okay so here's what
we do he walks around the house we invite guests and we're like friendly in the beginning
like in the first podcast we liquor them up second podcast hold on we blow them up and
at the very end of the process we ask them so why why do you oh like why do you hate
everybody oh man these sound just like the guy from Batman right have you guys seen that
new Batman movie actually I have it was good it's not good you never saw it oh sorry I
have it hold on have you seen it or not seen it I have it I was just I have I've seen it
yeah I've seen it it's three hours it is are you kidding did you watch the movie theater
the guy from and the movie theater hold on the guy from Twilight yeah no Robert Pattinson
three hours of that guy ridiculous yeah well he's not all three hours over yes he is well
Brian did you like it no what was it on a scale of one to ten you know what the best
part of the whole movie was the clothes that girl oh back girl hot no woman who that's
a Zoe Kravitz no any cameras kid no let me let me Kravitz daughter is smoking hot she's
the best actor in the entire whole fucking series well she does she yeah you know what
she does make them the show well look the show has a lot of positive attributes she's
literally the man she's a bad ass and I'll tell you what shout out to Colin Farrell and
him playing the penguin he looked nothing like him the transformation that the that
team took to make him look like what he made well he is yeah there is something else man
really the only thing that was kind of offsetting which I don't look here so much but our producer
pointed it out was that the James Gordon was now played by a black person I don't care
about that who Gordon James Gordon's the police commissioner police commissioner he wasn't
the commissioner in this oh right so they're adding yeah no that's that's okay that's not
a typical and I don't give a shit I really don't but I do have a problem if they make
James Bond a black woman so there is one there is one point I told them I'm gonna do that
by the way look there's one point in the movie that was woke that that why do we have to
talk about the point that was because you know what when you're watching something that
you're enjoying and all of a sudden that was a Zoe Kravitz turns around and says you know
those white privileged police officers no that is ultimately the viewers problem yeah
it's an acting thing the viewers like oh my god but it's also the power of but a gesture
but it didn't need to be in there by it did not to be it didn't need to be in there cares
well well I do this is the problem with woke or not woke or all this bullshit that's going
on in society like nobody fucking cares nobody we do does didn't care and then suddenly you
did care look because it's over the top white privilege is oh my god white privilege there's
nothing there's like literally no such thing yeah that's my point agreement we're agree
with that but it's but there's no reason for them to say in the movie well who cares well
I did why because I was I was give you shit I kind of I saw the same movie I was like
I just want to watch literally gave a shit what they were saying well I really I literally
I literally saw the exact same thing you did and I never I think it's a valid point why
does it bother us well you know what you know fuck them you can always look at it question
why does it bother us had I thought that but I was just like I didn't you know why you
know why no I don't want to be when I go to a movie I don't want to be reminded of what's
outside the movie theater we are in a I want to go to a movie safety don't yeah I want
to be in my seat but you're right Brian I hear a wonderful what is it about it that
bother hold on I hear turn on ourselves that's what it is guys I hear a wonderful sweet music
shut the fuck up sweet sweet honey I think we are yet it's 1030 holy shit that was quick
man that weren't quick that's because we're passionate and we said a lot of things that
were fun that was a great discussion differing slightly point of view yeah I think it was
awesome I was awesome the shit out of it I think this is good Ryan this is good enjoy
the shit right thank you a special shout out to you all right that was great yeah it's
dudes like us dudes like us I'm Paul Jeff and I'm Sean and we got guest stars and we
got Brian say your name say your name sir say your name say your name say your name
okay we got we got Brian here with us he's out there all right we're out good night guys
it's Tuesday it's April 26 next time's gonna be May fuck you're old we're gonna miss May
the fourth be with you