Oh yeah. Oh my god I'm starting to get worried. Oh about what? You know those dogs you ate?
No it's like have you ever gone to the mall with your kids? Yes. I try not to but I have.
Like not now but I mean like when they're really young like four five six. Yes. And
you got to keep track of them and make sure that. Oh yeah. Oh yeah. Very stressful. Very
stressful. It is. And they go hiding in the clothes and you lose them? Yes. I've been
there done that. Our producer is famous for getting lost. We lost Brody all the time.
All the time. I could turn around for a second and Austin would be gone. Gone? And I have
no idea. To the point where I didn't give a fuck. At first I was kind of like I don't
want to embarrass myself but he became lost so much that I was like I got to pick my battles.
So as soon as I saw that he was lost I just yelled out right there I look like a fool
and I was like well you know what I got to. Did you use the middle name when you called
out his name? No. That's how my mom I knew I was in trouble. She used the middle name.
You want to hear the greatest call out? No hold on I was going somewhere. So you know
that feeling when you lose a child. Just where did COVID go? Where did it go? That's your
child off of the. I mean that was like I mean where the fuck did COVID go? I mean we were
talking about it. We have to wear masks. We got to get vaccinated. We got to get a vaccine
and get the endless message. The convoy up in Canada. Look if a nuclear bomb sets off
make sure you prepare by getting your vaccines. They literally said that. No that was during
a hurricane. When the hurricane hit make sure you prepare for the hurricane by getting your
vaccines. Yeah. Where is it at? Where is Dr. Fauci at? He's gone. It's like the media gods
have used the your crane as the Monica Lewinsky missile. So I think they've been searching
for a way to get out of it and this was their ticket. Well no no it's more than that. So
polling polling showed that people are tired of COVID. The mid terms are coming up. Right.
Oh yeah. And so the Democrats were reading the polling data and they were like mask bad.
lockdowns bad. Vaccine talk mandates bad. I mean they're reading the tea leaves of the
election. It's not about science. It's not about it's not about what's right for the
country. It's not about battling COVID. It's about polls. It is gone. And as soon as we're
not talking about it anywhere. And as soon as the polls said all those things were bad
they were looking for a way. They vanished. No no not just that. It just didn't vanish
then because the polls have been bad for a while. They just didn't have a way to get
it off of the front page. And then from their perspective thank God Putin invaded Ukraine.
Correct. Correct. You know it just. It did it. It was bullshit. And you know what if
Trump were in office Putin would not be invading Ukraine. I agree. But Putin to me I'm sorry
Trump to me was like he's kind of like that like that that teacher you have in school
that's you just you don't want to fuck with because you have no idea how they're going
to react. Right. So you just you kind of like just watch your P's and Q's and get through
the class and and then with the next teacher because that guy is he's a pushover. He's
a pushover. But this teacher Trump don't mess with him. You have no idea what the fuck he's
going to do. And you know what the thing about it is that he would probably hold on there's
a child abduction alert going on child abduction in Burnett Texas unknown vehicle victim is
11 year old old Burnett white female Helen Pierce. Thank you. Who was last seen wearing
a white shirt to one state and blue jean shorts. Hold on. This is in this is in Helen Pierce.
Where the hell is this Burnett Texas. It's 40 fucking degrees outside and she's wearing
a white shirt blue jean shorts. Yeah. The sad thing is she's probably in a vehicle being
driven somewhere. You know what I don't want to think about this sad thing because there
are all kinds of scenarios where the police roll up on some car and pull a little girl
out and she's screaming for I want my daddy as they're arresting the driver. You know
I'm just some of that stuff. I mean this kind of turned dark but it's the truth. There are
some sick motherfuckers out there and those same sick motherfuckers have been pushing covid
down our goddamn throats and now all of a sudden it's gone and nobody's talking about
it. I don't know if you're saying the Democrats people are child abductors. I'm just saying
you know that I put them in the same class because they're they're evil. Yeah. Well the
covid has basically disappeared from news any kind of press conference or evil. It has
not been the priority at all. Those people that are pushing the buttons of the media
might as well be that guy that abducted that girl because they're pushing their false narrative.
They're pushing their misinformation and they're coming up with the rules. What is correct
information? What is misinformation? So says who? Right. Who comes up with that? I am still
seeing some stuff because I know DeSantis just the Florida Health Department went against
the CDC regulation that said children and under this age in Florida do not get the vaccine.
Right. That goes contrary to what the CD has said. Oh yes. CDC. CDC and so they're going
contrary they're the first state who said yeah we're not going to follow that. Well
unfortunately CDC has put themselves in a position where they are no longer the authority
or they have lost all credibility. They've wiggled themselves out of being the authority
on that type of stuff. When I was growing up until recently you think of the CDC as
the institution to protect you from Ebola and all that shit right? They're the ones
that have the divine plan. They're the ones who have the antibodies, the antidotes. They're
our last line of defense. Correct. They're our gods. They're our last line. They're the
ones that have all the answers to everything. 100%. And now it's like they're a joke. I
have no idea what the hell is going on. They're a politicized joke. They are. It's kind of
like when you think that the United States military is the elite it's the best of the
best. It's still team six etc etc etc. And they go in there and they're going to go shoot
Saddam Hussein. No no is that Saddam Hussein? Yeah. What is the other motherfucker? Tal
Du. Osama Bin Laden. Osama Bin Laden. They go in there with the helicopters and then
one crashed. And one crashed. And that's what I'm getting at is that they train, they work
hard and it's a self realization that you know what we aren't that good. We aren't that
impeccable. We make mistakes. We're not perfect. But I'm just saying there are times where
unfortunately the only perfection I see is coming out in the fucking tabloids and Super
Bowls and movies and stardom. So in other words things that we grew up putting our faith
in like that were rock solid faith foundational trust and faith and nothing's better than
our military. Nothing's better than our Delta. The rock in your life. The church that you
go to that your whole faith has been driven and then you find out you get molested by
the priest. This is the way it is. This is the way I feel right now. You find out they're
not all that. They're not all that correct. I feel betrayed. I feel that they talk a bunch
of shit and produce little turds. But hold on. But how do you think the and so the Russian
people aren't hearing the truth about anything that's going on in Ukraine. They could be
list does know. They're not. They're not. Putin put out a war. We're on. That is secret way.
If you are we. Putin said if you if you start spreading bullshit news real information if
you spread real news they'll shut it down. Putin said that. No no no. What he's saying
if you spread none that's not what he said at all. Well he's what he said is that if
you spread misinformation about what's going on you're going to jail for 12 years except
that the misinformation is the real news. Well whatever. But CNN pulled out right. CNN
said we're not broadcasting anything about this now. Yeah. Because that was there in
the US. Be because what do they what do they care. Well I mean if they're broadcast I don't
know. I don't know how that works. Hold on. Hold on. So Putin is telling Russian media
you paint a rosy picture of what's going on in Ukraine. You explain the narrative about
why we're invading Ukraine. Ukraine. I mean there he's setting up an entire apparatus
of misinformation so that the Russian people so that the Russian people don't don't protest
don't revolt don't revolt because keep in mind the people that he's invading are the
brothers and cousins and their family. They're family with the Russian people. Yeah. And
there's a ton of Russian people that aren't buying the narrative. There's been eight thousand
people arrested for protesting the Ukrainian war in Russia which never happens. You you
know that if you protest you're going to be disappeared. It's still a dictatorship. It's
still a totalitarian regime. It's brutal. Like they don't do that. You know I don't
think I think people here in the states these days forget what Russia really has a little
bit. They think that Russia in the world is just like the United States. No. Right. And
it's not not including just like that. Brittany Greiner was over there in Moscow in Russia
thinking oh I could just get away with having hashish and all this shit. No you're in Russia.
How was she doing. Oh yeah. Well she's playing in the in the Moscow League the Russian League
making money had a freaking dab pen on her hashish. Well there's a difference. So Jeff
and I were talking about this earlier. I mean there's a difference between you know having
a T.H.C. loaded that old base dappin and having a hashish. She'd be in prison here too. I hate
to say it. I have zero sympathy for her. Yeah me either. I mean there's a difference to
me. I mean I feel kind of like a you know chauvinist for saying this but it's like you
know I don't I don't feel bad for people that smoke pot versus people that are like smoking
black tar heroin or hashish. That stuff is on a different level. Different level. So
I didn't grow up. I spent five years in Jakarta Indonesia. We knew. We knew. Even as fourth
grade through eighth grade for me. I mean that's pre adulthood. Even I knew you don't
f with drugs. You get caught with drugs in that country. And so in Singapore just north
and like when we got our orthodontics work done or or or if you went to needed emergency
surgery or something you flew to Singapore right which was a 30 a 30 minute airplane
ride. Singapore is awesome right. If you get caught with drugs there. You die. You die.
You die. There was a there were two British girls that were that got caught peddling drugs
and they were hung. They were hung like and just peddling weed or whatever. Yeah. No I
mean I don't have any know what the drug was but they were hung two girls two British girls
were killed. They were hung like. Yeah it's different. They don't have American laws.
It's different. It's different. And people forget that. They don't have any concept of
it. That's what I mean. They don't understand that. I'm not in the U.S. Just like when those
I think they're the NBA players now the balls they were they were over there the last day
with the ball I think to play for L.A. one of them does. Oh yeah. They were in China
and one of them stole a pair of shoes. Yeah. Yeah. Trump had to fucking get their ass out
of there. Like quick. Yeah. Because he was about to go into Chinese prison. Yes. For
years. He should have. Yeah. He fucking should have. It's not like over here you steal a
pair of shoes all of a sudden. I heard about the three brothers. The balls. It's not balls.
His last name is ball balls. Balls. Balls. Balls. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I'm sorry. Lorenzo
ball. There you go. You're right. You're right. I'm sorry. I don't know which one it was but
it was one of them. He still was in shoes. Yes. Still a pair. He was playing for the
UCLA at the time. Yeah. He's like take the brother out of the hood but you can't take
the hood. Well no he's taking another like I'm a big star. I don't care where I'm at.
I want to steal these shoes because it's no big deal. What's no big deal in the U.S. It
is in China. What. Well. They have no concept of that. I mean imagine being in Russia and
shoplifting like how stupid do you need to be. No man it's stupid. Beyond stupid. You
have to recognize where you're at. That's seriously that's seriously intellectually.
And to be caught. On the border of being like a moron. Well it's just like if you're a woman
and you go over into some of these Middle East countries you have to wear the headpiece.
Yeah. You have to. Right. And you can't drink. Yeah. Yeah. I mean you choose not to. You're
walking around with no headdress. Yeah. And you're in your in your wearing jeans and a
midriff. Oh you're wearing a midriff with your boobs all in tights and a tight around.
How do you how do you think that's going to go. They're going to fuck it for your ass
in jail. Absolutely. I don't know if it's in jail. Yeah they will. Oh hell yeah they
will. They have an opportunity. And something I don't even know them could like beat him
up. I can promise you they're going to throw in jail and something horrible will happen
to them in jail. Yeah. You just respect that you respect the country you're in man. Yeah
it's not the US. You don't live in the US. Amen. You're not visiting. Well you live in
the US. You're not there. You're somewhere else with different rules. And you know what
that is. That is that is a an ignorance about the blissful freedom of blissful element of
freedom. I can do this every day in the US. I can say what I want. I can say what I want.
I can do what I want. I can go where I want. Most of the world is not like that. That's
the argument where you're like all these people are complaining about the US. OK. You go over
to Iraq and live. Yeah. Let's see how that goes. Yeah. Like the two gay guys that were
thrown that were hung in Iran. Yeah. Right. Stop it. Where's the outrage. Where's the
outrage. Where is the outrage. Where does it fit their narrative. Where is the L.A.J.
BQA QTCIT P4S. Yeah seriously where is the squad. Where's the squad on that deal. Why
were they not like outraged at two gay people were because that goes against the Islamic
religion. Then you know what. Shut the fuck up. You have no credibility AOC and the rest
of the squad. You're frauds because you're not really standing up for the narrative.
But they'll go anywhere. But they'll go after the hardcore Christian who's against gays.
Right. But they won't go against shut down the Christian Baker shop. Christian Baker.
Right. Right. Go over to Iraq and try to get a gay cake. Stop it. Right. Right. I hear
you. I mean it's hypocritical. It's so hypocritical. And it's a blind eye. If you believe that
you should believe it regardless of where you're at. Now you may not affect change over
there. You can affect change here possibly but you cannot affect change. Here's the thing.
I don't I don't believe they really believe that. I just think it's. I don't know. I don't
think they believe it. I think they're full of shit. I think they are as well. So so so
anyway it is what it is. So speaking of covid it's disappeared. It disappeared. Yeah. We
magically we magically beat it. Right. But I did see an article today. No we didn't beat
it. It's still out there. Oh it is. We're just not. What do you mean. We just don't
care. It's turned into the yearly flu at this point. Yeah. But the mask mandates are being
dropped. Are they. The vaccine mandate is apparently being dropped. So in Virginia where
all these schools are having such a problem with these students not wearing a mask. Are
they finally like all right you can come in with. No it's not. It's not completely. Or
they just stopped. They just stopped covering it. Oh there's there's holdouts. There's liberal
extreme holdouts that are like no we're still wearing masks. We're still wearing masks.
We're even making up stupid. Oh yeah. Songs about it. You know. I saw it. Now's the time
we wear some masks. We should wear them to keep us safe. Whatever fucking stupid. Oh
my god. They were outside of a of a it was a public display and it was some some like
Mary had the little lamb sound. It was like 15 people up there singing with songs like
Mass are great. So why would they not shoot them with paintballs. Go on. Oh dude I would
have tossed a few stink bombs on them and paintballs. Well then you'd be a racist. No
you'd you'd. What color are the paintballs. What's the matter. How about we got those
hot pink ones. Yeah. Yeah that's that's. That's their pussy. Yes. Yes. That's good. I like it.
That's racist neutral. That's sexist. Is it. Is it. Well it's women's month right. Well it's
pink. Oh it's pink paintballs. So we were just like what is what is men's month. What is when
is men's month. Well there's women's appreciation month. What is men's. Yeah. When's men appreciation
month. Mr. Producer you're looking it up for us right now. It is interesting. And it is oh.
Men's health month. No no no no no no no. We're talking about appreciation appreciation
month. Oh it's Bugongaray. What. Bugongaray. The 13th month. Bugongaray. Bugongaray. Is that. Did
you learn that in Thailand. No it's the 13th month. It's right there. No it doesn't exist.
That's right it doesn't. It does not like the 13th soldier. Do you know what the 13th what was it the
13th soldier was. Was a soldier. Oh so the first story that comes up is urban dictionary.
That tells you where the word is. Really. Yeah. Oh hold on. Men's International Men's Day. This
could be real. Oh my god. This could be real. Oh my god. We're going to celebrate this. Is a global
holiday. Oh yes. Oh 57 countries. November. Oh it's just a day. Yeah it's one day. Oh it's one day.
I want them a whole month though. International Civil Awareness Day. It's Mende. I want to I
want to. No no no. I want to hold on. I want a whole month. A global holiday celebrated anally
in November to recognize and celebrate the cultural political and socioeconomic achievement of men.
The objectives of celebrating an international men's day are set out in all six pillars of
international men's day. It's an occasion to celebrate boys men's achievements and contributions
in particular for their contribution. You say boys. That's what it says. The broader and ultimate
aim of the event is to promote basic humanitarian values as well as the awareness towards men's
issues which are. Which are. Africa, America, Asia, Europe, and what's Oceania. So we have an
anal men's day. What is Oceania? What are the six pillars? Scroll down. What this says region is
Oceania. Oceania. To promote. Okay. Where is that? That is southeast, south pacific. All right so look.
South pac. Why did it say that? Instead of Oceania. South pac. You talk about the region. I'm sorry.
I didn't know it was south pac. I've never heard of Oceania. Isn't that like a show? Greece. Oceania is
mediterranean sea. Polynesia. So the south pacific. South pacific. So the six pillars of men's
appreciation day is number one to promote positive male role models not just movie stars and sportsmen
but not just. Not just. Not just. But include them. Yeah definitely. Oh include them because not just.
I mean movie stars and sportsmen are awesome. Oh yeah. But it's more than them. It's the working
class men who are living decent honest lives. Yeah like like the actual fathers. Yeah the people that
are there. I mean the fathers. The fathers of the children. Yes. Yeah not sport not just movie stars
and sportsmen. You know what. So stupid. I don't have a problem. Shut the fuck up. I don't have a problem with some of these.
You know to celebrate men's positive contributions to society community family marriage child care
and to the environment. I have no problem with that. There we go. Family family. You read family and
marriage and child care. Right. To focus on men's health and well-being social emotional physical
and spiritual. Fine. Yeah I'm good with that. To highlight discrimination against men in areas of
social service social attitudes and expectations and law. I like it. I like it. This one to improve
gender relations and promote men's issues. What does that mean? I don't know. That means that
gender issues are the people that are confused if they have a penis. No it doesn't. I don't know. So
number five. To improve gender relations meaning improve relationships between men and women.
Why don't they just say that. To improve gender relations. Why don't they just say to improve
relationships between men and women. And promote men's issues. Yes. That's weird. I like it. I still
I'm still on board. And then to create a safer better world where people can be safe and grow
to reach. It has nothing to do with men. Number six. Oh that's stupid. You know what the the biggest
thing for the men's appreciation. I agree with some of those. I do too. And you guys know I'm
a stickler for this. I watch TikTok and I see the biggest appreciation for men's that I can see
based on some TikTok video. TikTok based on TikTok. Look this is this is real though. Yeah.
Based on China. The song is I'm coming home coming home. And I don't know the whole all the words.
But the premise is I'm coming. It's it's a military soldier father or mom. And they've been gone for an
extended period. And these videos capture the moment where the the kids first see their their
parent that they haven't seen in months or a year. And it really hits home how important that parent
is in that child's life. Of course. When they they they realize it and they're overcome with emotion. They're like
it's my daddy. They run towards the mom and dad. And it's just oh my god the the meltdown the breakdown.
It's you know that's what it's all about. It's inspiring. That's what that but that's what it's
all about. And that's why it's so important to have parents in the house. Agreed. You know a mom and a
dad. Now you can have two moms and you can have two dads. I'm not saying that. But I'm what I am saying
is that in a lot of houses and in a normal house it's it's good to have both. Yeah you're talking
about a nuclear family. Yeah. Well BLM wants to destroy the nuclear. Yes they do. So they remove
that from the website. But that is exactly what they want. Well BLM is starting to become a
here's why pushed out the door is becoming predominant that black black families lack a
father. Well I saw a stat and I don't know the exact stat but ever since the what's the act in
1963 the Civil Rights Act ever since that was passed that the I think it was this one. I could
be completely wrong on this but there was a certain thing that got passed that the longest
filibuster in Democrat history could be. It could be Chuck Schumer. No but that's true. It was the
longest filibuster. Yeah I believe it. And the percentage of black families is like 70 percent
without a dad. Yeah it's crazy. It's tremendously high. Tremendous. I was shocked. Me too. And that
tells you a lot. A lot. And that's culture. It's culture. It's what that is. It breeds culture.
They call it pride. Why? I want to have 10 kids. They call it pride. That's not pride. No it's not
pride. That's the opposite of pride. Well it's pride for them. That's what I mean. It's culture.
That's the culture for them to be proud. It's the same reason why we can't use the n-word. I have 10
kids with six different women. That's pride to them. Well it's the status. And you know what
it's until that breaks and it's awesome. That's true. But you know what until it breaks what's
going to help them break that is for us to stop helping us promote them. You know why are they
giving money for single black mothers to have more children. Correct. You know that's bullshit.
You know they should max out of two kids. Well wow. Well I'm serious. Welcome to China. No I'm
serious. No as far as welfare is concerned. Okay I hear you. Right. So what is the average size of
the family? It's a parent and two and a half kids. Two and a half. Right. With a white picket fence.
So you get paid welfare for two and a half kids. If you have 10 you still get paid for two and a
half kids. That's right. So there's no incentive to keep having more. Right. I hear what you're
saying. I do. I do. I don't disagree. Right. Well because you know at some point it becomes
a it becomes a means to curb behavior. Correct. Right. Which is like be responsible. Right. It's
just like the folks that are on welfare don't have to take drug tests. Right. Yeah that always
bothers me. You know if you're gonna if you're gonna be to me it's like. Well people are
accountable man. It's exactly. To me it's like you know it's almost like I'm trying to get a job
and I can't get a job for whatever reason or I'm held back for whatever reason but I'm still a good
person. I'm taking care of myself. I'm not doing drugs. You're trying. I am. I've got a list of
people who I called and you know and those are the conditions in which you should be given
compensation. Absolutely. Look right. He's doing X Y Z. He or she is doing X Y Z and this is why
we're going to pay them. Or they. You can't sit there on your ass and just expect a check to come
in. Amen. What have you done to earn that? Well I'm a single. But people do that. Well they do.
You know why they do? Because it's handed to them unconditionally. I mean there's always people that
you know the people that are in charge of the wilderness. Right. You know or the zoos. You go
out to a state park or something. Please don't feed the animals. Please don't feed the animals.
Because they will become dependent on you feeding them and they will. And they won't hunt for
themselves. Yeah that's right. In the zoo. I misspoke. I meant to say out in the state parks.
Like Yellowstone or Yosemite or something. Yeah they put little raccoons in there and they're like
what the fuck. Oh my god. And the bears are like oh we're hunting naturally. They have a little tin cup.
Hey look they put a little tray out for us. Let's hunt it.
That's crazy. That's like the Jurassic Park. I knew what you meant. I knew the gold on the hook.
I knew what you meant. Anyway no no the point is yes the point is you can't you can't
give give without some sort of accountability. There's zero accountability. There is zero
accountability. Now if you if you like if I lost my job and I apply for unemployment there's
accountability there. You have to report in. At least you used to. I don't know if you have to.
Yeah no you used to. You have to have so many interviews or contacts or something. You have to be
making an effort to find a job. Correct. And you have. You know with COVID. With COVID. Did that go away?
That went away. Has it come back? No I mean that was the whole point. It was people were making
more money by by sitting at home and collecting a check. Right. Than working. Well there there
have been a lot of. And they finally stopped that. There have been a lot of conditions. Rational minds.
That COVID created that that are still going on today. Which may carry on for years and years
and years. What guys? I'm sorry what do you mean? Well like working from home. I work from home.
I work from home. Exactly. I worked from home two and a half years before COVID hit. Yeah but there's
there's but the most of the people okay but I'm just saying there's a there's a lot of people
that that work from home now that didn't work from home. Well I'll tell you I'll tell you what.
I think a lot of companies were managed by people who did not believe in work from home. When you
get to a certain level. Bingo. You have a lot of people who've been in the business a long time
and they're like you need to be in the office. And then this happened and it kind of opened eyes. They're
like our job. No no. Our work still gets done. They didn't have a choice. They didn't have a choice.
But the work still gets done and sometimes it got done better. And then they were like whoa like wow we're still
getting the job done for the for the archaic leadership that you're referring to. Correct.
They realized wow we're still getting jobs done and they're home. How is that possible? Okay okay.
Can we downsize this office instead of 10 floors? Can I do away with three floors? But you know what's
crazy? That's not what happened. These guys are like when is COVID gonna end? I want these people
back in the office. It's ridiculous. Some of them are yeah. It's literally ridiculous. Some of them
are yeah because there's folks that the company I used to work for that they're they're chomping
at the bit to open the office again. But there's a lot of people who complain that I don't want to
go in the office because I may catch COVID. Right. So and they have to listen to them.
And they get. Because they listen to the misinformation. Well it doesn't matter.
Because it becomes a liability. I went into work and I got sick. I'm gonna sue your ass.
Oh is that what it is? Yeah because I was working from home. I was fine. And then you made me come
into the office because people aren't going into the office yet in the mass that they were. Yeah
they are to some degree. Not in my industry. But my wife and I talked about that. Not in my industry.
I have not heard one case of somebody suing because they were forced to come into the office and got
COVID. I've been waiting for that. I've been waiting. It's hard to prove. And I've. Well it is.
It's impossible to prove. Well it is hard to prove but people are very eager to sue. Right.
I wonder if they have to sign. I've been waiting for that lawsuit. I wonder if it's we're open
up the office. Sign this. I don't know. Sign this to say you will not sue me because you're coming
back into the office. Right. I mean work is very. Is that a thing? If you want to work. I haven't
heard that either. If you want to work. But that doesn't mean it's not happening. Some companies are like
if you want to work for us and you want to come in the office you have to take the vaccine. If you
want to come work for us and work in the office you have to sign this. There are conditions. So
for us we have an office and we have the option to go to work. Or I'm sorry to go to the office to work.
Do you have an option to work? What they say is that if you are going to go to the office and work
which you can. You have to do X Y Z. You have to make sure you wear a mask. You have to work sure.
You have to. I don't know exactly what they are. Who wants to hell do that? Well those are the
conditions. You also have to anal bleach. So that's what it is. They send out the memorandum. You have to bleach your anus? Yes.
Well it's an anal bleach. It's a cleanse. Yeah so that's a big part of going into the office.
Cleaning your anus. They say that that is a big COVID spreader. Yeah but it's a cream. So it's
kind of like a butt louge. You just port down your back. Time out. Listen just hear me out.
And you can reuse it? Hear me out here. If you have COVID. If you have COVID and you and you emit
methane. All right. All right. Does that carry COVID? So it kills everyone. There are conditions. If you're going to go back to the office there are conditions in which you have to go. So if you get COVID through those conditions then you know what?
Shit happens. What are you going to do? Well I know but people are very litigious. And it kind of makes me wonder because let's take for example
the company I work for. Which I'm not going to name but the company I work for. They pay x amount of dollars
for our office. How many offices in the United States aren't being utilized? Well that's what I mean. These
companies are maybe going I have this large of an office now. Dude we had. I can go to this large of an
office and cut my rent by 80 percent. I'm amazed that the commercial real estate hasn't
hasn't gone through the floor but it has not. Our first office that you guys went to
was like 15 000 square foot. Yeah. It was huge. Huge. And I had my own office. It was
I fucking loved it. Oh you had your own office. Yeah look at him. Oh I had my own office. My office was two million square feet. I didn't have a cube
but I had my own office with marble floors from italy. It was carpet. Stop it. You know JC Penney has two million square feet.
Yeah so my point is is that when COVID hit they went they went down to like from from 15 000.
Wow. I want to say like to 1800 1500. What? They dude. No that's like this up here. Yes that's what
they dropped it down to like. That's what the Unabomber lived in. I think seven offices
seven or eight offices. Those like and all the rest are cubicles. They have a kitchenette
and a line of cubicles and about seven offices and one conference room. I mean that's a big office still
but compared to what we had. Tiny. Oh dude I was it was you guys been up there. So you walked in there
and you were like yeah. Yeah where's my office? I am. Oh I took my office. I took one. You have an office?
And you never go. I took it like I still don't know. No you did not. I tell you what if I was down there I would have
co-opted your office. Come out you claimed an office. I don't have the authority to claim an office.
But you did. However I put my name on the door. I'd be taking that shit down. Did you put your Star
Wars shit in your office? If I came down there every day and I saw and I saw Sean. No I didn't but. He
hasn't been down here for three months. Absolutely. I'm taking it. I'd have been like oh shit I would have
burned his shit. Yeah I'd be like gone. Whatever's on the door like little the name slot and and there's
stuff in there. There's no name on this. I would have taken it out into the parking lot and burned it. There's no name on this.
When I got here. Nobody goes to the office. That's what I mean but yeah that's. Nobody. But still. Nobody.
The only time anybody ever goes to the office is if they need some supplies. That's what I mean.
Why have the office? Save money. Save money. Well I'm not disagreeing with you. Go online and say go
order your office supplies from Office Depot or Staples. We have an account with them. I will tell you
there will come a time. Look at you pushing your products. I will tell you. Look at you pushing your products.
There will come a time where we're going to need an office. Do you? No I don't. Because we're going to have to start having people
come in. In my opinion. In my great opinion. Yes. I think that a lot of. Great opinion? It's my fantastic opinion.
I'm so seasoned. Seasoned. A seasoned opinion. He's a seasoned citizen. We are losing.
We are losing the emotion. We are losing the camaraderie. We are losing that connection that people have when they go to the office.
We're losing it. I don't disagree. It gets down to the point where it's all rinse and repeat and being counting and
we're taking out of what's real. Yeah. Why are we doing this? I agree 100%. And that sucks from that perspective.
I do enjoy working from home. I do. I do. I mean I love going and walking 10 feet to take a dump. It's fantastic. I know.
You know. I know we've talked about the glorification of securing your dump in a big business building.
We haven't talked about this. We haven't? This is a topic we need to discuss. All right. Well see. Oh bathroom etiquette.
Not just that but Sean's. He sets up a movie theater essentially. Well look. Yeah he brings a fern into the stall.
And a foot rest. A fern and a foot rest. I want to feel comfortable going to the bathroom. Who does that?
So if I were to. And a beverage cart. When I worked at the office. You have your own beverage cart?
In fact people that work in buildings period that have to. Ice machine. I wouldn't even take a dump on my floor.
Like let's say I'm on the ice machine. Yeah. If I'm on the ninth floor. You're going to fern in an ice machine.
Sometimes I'll jump up to the 15th or sometimes I'll jump down to the. Whatever. Stop it. I'll find a shitter that's comparable to me.
And I'll bring my. Meaning not occupied? Meaning not occupied. But some of the stalls. I'm going on the 16th.
Fuck somebody's in there. I'm going to go down to 15. Damn somebody's in there. I'm going to go down to 14.
You can hang a satchel because when I go to the bathroom I bring a satchel. In the satchel I have my earbuds.
I've got my wet wipes and I've got some. Fern. I've got some cornstarch. I've got a whole regiment of.
Do you have a snack? I don't have any. No actually I do. What? Like a. They're not for going to the bathroom.
Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Like a protein bar? Like fruit snacks? Yeah. Like exactly. Like dried fruit.
I know what he does when he goes to the movies. It's like a buffet. Yeah. I imagine him setting up a buffet.
In the bathroom. Like a little TV stand. Yeah. Like one of those little projectors and he has a screen on the door.
Nice on the back of the stall door. You know what gives me the biggest rush is I actually wait for.
I'm sitting on the stoop. I'm dropping a dump and doing whatever. It's been two and a half hours.
I've got. It's a finished movie. A bunch of Titanic. I'm playing some video. God forbid somebody came in.
I put my earbuds in. Handicap. And I put the sensor on there so that I can hear what's going on around me.
In addition to what's going on. This is ridiculous. So I hear somebody walk in and I purposely wait for them to come in to pop the top of my sprite can.
So that you know they know that I'm in there. Some people like. Yeah. No. They grunt. They go.
They cough. Now I open my. I'm in here. And then you hear the jingle jingle of the ice and then the.
No shut up. All right. That doesn't happen. But my point is that everyone is tasked. Does it make sonic ice though.
Everyone is tasked to find the perfect area to take a dump in their building. No. No. Seriously.
Paul. Are you telling me that's not true. Paul when was the first time you shit at work when you're like 48.
Maybe. Well no. So I will. I will. Oh well hold on. Hold on. Hold on. I'm not. I'm not ashamed to admit it.
You go to your car and cocoon it. I'm not. I'm not. So there was a long time I could not shit at work.
I couldn't. I couldn't. I couldn't do it. Did you try. I would. No. No. I didn't. I didn't sit on a toilet going.
Can I do this today. Can I do this today. You know. No. No. I just. You don't put like a target. Stop it right now.
I'm trying to. I didn't hover. I mean are you women. Are you not wanting to touch the toilet seat.
What's going on. Right now. Hover. Hover really. Do you have to bring like shoe boxes. He's standing on it.
No. So listen. He's BM bashful. No. I just you know I just I had an issue with it. I don't know.
Was it because your sphincter would not. And then one day I said no. This is time. I'm a man. I'm an. I'm 49.
I'm 40. Screw it. 46. I'm going to shit in the shitter. Like real men. Real like a real man.
Did you have some sort of pirate music playing in the background. No. No. I had no fern. I had no sonic ice maker.
You have an eye patch. I had. I had no eye patch. I had no butt wipe. No. I had none of the stuff that you.
What about a sword. That you. That's amazing. Well you said that. No. No. Hold on. That's amazing.
He said that. I did have a sword. I carry my sword everywhere in the office building.
I believe that. But that's for safety. Look it is a real thing for people trying to feel comfortable.
I couldn't shit in the office. Which is exactly what you're trying to do. That's the goal is to feel comfortable
to take a dump. And that's what this whole thing was about was it's about what do you do to feel
comfortable. And for me and I was exaggerating a little bit but honestly. Not really. Not really.
Honestly not really. I mean I don't bring the sprite. There's like eleven things he brings into his.
It's all set up. It takes like 45 minutes to set up. I bring the butt wipes. And then he goes.
Oh my god. Sean's going in the bathroom. I bring my earbuds. I bring my tablet. Dude I'm there.
I'm there. That's ridiculous. I'm committed for like 20-30 minutes. That's way more than I do now.
Well you know what. That's not you. I'm talking about me. Yeah. This is what I do. And your special
needs. You know what. I am envious of the guys who just don't care. They go in there and they're just
like. And the blowing shit. The blowing shunts everywhere. And you're just like. And they're like.
And you're trying to time it with them and blast your ass at the same time. Right. And there's
people urinating and they're like. That was fucking awesome. Yeah I just did another one motherfucker.
I respect that. They're people that are just like. I don't care. They're like men's men.
And they drive a big truck I guarantee you. And I'm like laughing. I did that 10 minutes ago.
My ass hasn't recovered yet. That's why I can't get up. I'm on episode three.
Then you have the fuck. Yeah. So I'm kind of envious. Because I'm not there. I'm not there.
I mean I could take a crap in there. But I'm not at the point where
you just don't give a shit. You're just like. I hear you. You're just blasting it. You don't care.
No. When people walk in I go. I do the obligatory. I'm in the bathroom here. I'm in the stall here.
I don't do that. I stick my feet underneath and wave it. Oh my God. What? That's weird.
Oh my God. That would be weird. Has someone ever touched your foot? That's totally weird.
Because you have to scoot up on the front of the seat. Oh somebody reaches down and
touches your foot. Gramps it and caresses it. And goes. Glory hole. What the fuck man.
That's what Paul's dreaming of. What? I thought you were going to slide some toilet paper or
something. What? Yeah. So anyway there was. I used to work with a guy. Isn't that like at airports?
Is there some sort of code where you're sitting next to the next person and you do something?
Are we supposed to move on to another topic? No. I've got one last thing and we'll move on.
We can talk about the different accoutrements that are in the restroom to take an image of.
I think they should hire someone that stands there and services the place. Oh good Lord.
Would you like them in? Services you? That's big in Mexico City. Would you like me to stroke
your manhood? The bathroom attendant? Go on. I didn't say anything. Go ahead Jeff. The bathroom
attendant. Hold on. What did you just say? I didn't say anything. What bathrooms have you been in?
Oh did this happen as you as a child? Dude that wasn't attendant. Were they stroking? That's why
you can't shit in public. Did they molest you as a child? Going to the bathroom and then now you
have a phobia? They said manhood. I said manhood. Oh so they stroked your manhood.
God anyway I used to work with the fella. He was drinking before the podcast.
And have you worked with people like this or known people like this
who you're in there you know just urinating at the urinal and someone's in there taking a dump
in the stall. They come out and they immediately leave. They don't wash hands or anything.
But they're like Sean they're watching a movie. No they're in there shitting. How do you know
they're shitting? Because it stinks. Oh yeah but I've got my web wipes. I just. No. Oh my God.
Not the same. Are you kidding? Purell. I mean you've got your germinator. What is the sanitizer?
Went in there with nothing. Came out with nothing. Oh yeah. Well how do you know it's not stuffed in
his pocket? I mean because I'd be going there with a satchel. I'd have a table set up. He's got a wagon.
I've got a mini bar. You always wash your hands after you use the restroom. He pulls a wagon into
the stall and leaves with a wagon out of the stall. I mean he can't even close a door. Oh yeah. No he's
got the firmer. I can ride it and it makes the noise when I leave. He has like room dividers to
extend the stall so it's bigger. He leaves the door open and sets up an apparatus. Very nice.
I like that. It's like a pop-up tent inside of his own. Correct. That's awesome. That always grossed
me out when he came out. It's my foyer. And he would kind of hold his head down and just quickly
leave. And not wash. And I'd be up there washing my hands and you're going to say hey. Boom no.
And then like five minutes later he walks to your cube and says here are my reports. I've got some
sandwiches. Would you like some of these? I've got some chocolate chip cookies. What'd you hear?
When I first started working there we had you know potluck where everyone would bring cookies
or brownies or stuff like that and no one ate his stuff. And I did. And someone's like did you eat
did you get gangrene? Did you eat his cookie or brownie or whatever it was? I was like yeah.
He's like he doesn't wash his hands after shitting. And then they put that's what they said.
No. Yes. I was like no one eats those because he doesn't wash his hands after he uses the restroom.
Like shit. And anytime. Oh no. So no one eats his stuff and I did that one time and I never did
after that because I witnessed it. Did you get lip cancer? I got yeah it was a little you know. Did
you taste it? Did you get anal cancer? A little little gangrene on the lip. Did you get that A.S.
what is it called that? MSRA. Oh rectal something. Did you get the rectal dysfunction? Oh yeah well
that's function. All right I guess we should get back to COVID. We should. Because there's a new
symptom or a side effect. I can't remember what it was. RAC. RAS. That's what I said. So it's RAS
which is rectal no I'm sorry restless anal syndrome. I think I had that. Restless
anal syndrome. Is that where your your your sphincter will spasm? I don't know. Uncontrollably.
Let's find out. So finally the article I read was from put in rectal anal. Yeah please do. I'm sorry
I'm sorry restless anal syndrome. Please type this in. Restless. Restless anal syndrome because we all
want to know about this. It's fucking painful. Because I think it affects all of us. Go to that one right
there. That's the one I read. All right here we go. This was this was back in 20 right? The latest COVID
symptom about butts but it's no joke. Go ahead here we go. What do we got? Right a newly published
medical report by doctors in Japan has revealed a mysterious condition associated with disease
called restless anal syndrome. Here we go. Its name is likened to the more commonly discussed
restless leg syndrome. It describes exactly one 77 year old patient's functions. Hold on stop stop
stop stop. It describes exactly one 77 year old patient. 77. What the fuck? Okay first off. I know. Okay yeah to be honest a
77 year old is gonna have restless everything. I know. Restless everything. Restless penis,
restless throat, restless eyeball, restless anus, restless rectum, restless everything. So but despite
his eating in Tokyo I mean fuck my ass would be on fire all the time. But despite having fully
recovered from the virus he returned to report uncomfortable new symptoms. Here we go. He told
physicians that he began suffering deep anal discomfort. Well that was because COVID knocked
him out and his doctor. In the area between his anus and genitals. Hold on what? That's the taint isn't it?
Well maybe. Taint. Maybe wherever he was being treated was kind of a different place. I don't know.
Prompting him with the essential urge to move his bowels. What's that mean? Which gave him no relief.
The urge you know how you feel like oh god take a dump. You can't you can't you can't move your
bowels. Well but you know you can feel the pressure. Okay like a dog scooches on the carpet. That's to
that's because you're anal gland. Okay so that's not anything about what we're talking about. The
essential urge to move your bowels. Yeah that's kind of like you know. That's what you have to shit. So time out.
What does a human man do to essentially move their bowels? Well we don't do anything. You
jump up and down you do you you uh jumpy jacks? I don't do anything. Okay so what the fuck does
that mean? No no no what he's saying is that. He's prompting him to the essential urge to move his bowels.
Paul. Paul. Yes. When you have to take a dump. Yes. Walk us through the process of how you learn
that you'd have to go take a dump. Oh I'm glad you asked. All right so let's say I just had a protein
bar. Okay I'm in the kitchen. Is this the six ounce? Well no hold on yeah. No I just had a protein bar.
And it's one of those. Is this the six ounce bar or is this the ten ounce bar? Because that makes a big
difference. Yes I'm glad you asked. So it's the big one from Costco that has like 200 and something
calories. It's a really thick heavy bar. 55 grams of protein. Oh where it just like rots your gut.
Yeah at least 20. So I eat it I eat it in the kitchen. It takes a week to process. And then I'm like
oh my. Within five minutes I'm like oh my. That's how that feeling right there. Yeah so there it is.
So immediately I start doing cartwheels. Whoa. That's what I well that's what I do to to when I have
an essential urge to move my bowels I do cartwheels in my house. So that's what? And then
then I do have you ever done leapfrog? So hold on. So if he's doing cartwheels. I crowd down. He's doing
cartwheels. That's called centrifugal force. It's forcing the to get that mass. Correct. Closer to
the opening. And then I crouch down and I do leapfrog with myself. That's crouching tiger. So I'm
crouching down. Ridiculous. And then I jump jump jump. And it's pushing. It's I think it's pushing
because it's an essential urge to move. Then you have bad bowels if you have to do all that. What the hell's going on over there?
What are you pushing now? This is just an essential urge to move my bowels. Are you sitting on your dog's bone?
Just like the stirrer. It's a story. Are you sitting on your dog's purple bone? Maybe. I think I think what he's
saying here is there is a constant need that he has to shit even though he doesn't have to shit.
It's not just a constant need. He's suffering. Why don't we keep reading the article? He's suffering deep anal discomfort.
Deep deep deep anal. It's the essential urge to move his bowels. We have a picture of somebody sticking their fingers up their
asshole through their jeans. Through their jeans. Oh my god. That's deep. That's like two hours. You know what? That makes me feel
better because I do that a lot. This is a small little picture of the. COVID. What the fuck? The Omicron. Why are we looking at a picture of that?
I don't know. He's like two knuckles deep. Oh my god. Hold on. That's Steven's arm. Did he pose for that? This is a man in jeans with his hand
up his asshole through the jeans. That's terrible. Why? I understand. Why? If you're having. What is the percentage of people that are
getting this? Because as far as we know there's only one. Anyway, as the days passed, the patient observed that physical activity
seemed to relieve his stress. Physical activity. Like fricking. Like leapfrog. Can you get dismissed?
Dismiss. Hello. Producer. Producer. Dismiss. Thank you. Seemed to relieve his stressed anus. Stressed anus. While lying low
only increased his discomfort. Which also spiked during the evening. What does. While lying low.
What does that mean? That's like a leapfrog. No, lying low means close to the ground.
A colonoscopy showed the man had internal hemorrhoids, but that did not explain the spasms.
Well, I mean, that would definitely explain the deep anal pain. Let's also keep in mind he's 77.
Yeah, he's got a compilation. This is the stupidest story ever. He's probably got about a. Can we move on here?
This is retarded. This is the New York Post. So take that for what it is. No. The New York Post is a good.
He's reckoned his awkward condition must be neurological. Noting that his symptoms had manifested similar to RLS.
Restless leg syndrome. Which has been detected in at least two other COVID ideas. You know what? He has. These people are
fucking reaching to slap a label on COVID for everything. Correct. You know, it's kind of like, oh my god, I get an erection
looking at hamsters. That's COVID related. And I had COVID at the time. I do too.
So that's why you have 10 hamsters in the house, I guess. We have a whole farm of them. Well, you got to because
you have a gaggle of hamsters. Well, he's going to gaggle with a herd of hamster, gaggle of geese,
gaggle of goose. Can we talk about something meaningful in the last? We have 15 minutes. You're the one who wanted to talk about.
Restless anal syndrome. I thought it was very helpful to discuss the work relationship with, you know, where you go to the bathroom.
Well, I'll tell you what, one thing we didn't touch on there. One thing that we didn't touch on there is the quality of the toilet paper at most businesses is basically like notebook paper.
Retro. What is that all about? It basically moves it from one asshole part to the next. It doesn't clean anything. There's no transfer. It just shreds. It just smears it. Next thing you know, you got shit under your fingernails.
Yeah, these are dingle-berry machines. Stop, stop, stop, stop, stop. First of all, don't ever say that again. That's disgusting. No, he's right. He's absolutely right. Well, he's not right for me because I bring my own.
OK, well, still don't. Wow. Yeah, I double and triple up and then it's still dingle-berry. I mean, like it just shreds shreds. It's terrible. It's terrible. The toilet paper is sick.
What? I'm sorry. I've never had one rip where my fingers rake across my ass. You guys make fun of my satchel, but you know what? I don't have these problems because of that.
No, those are the butt wipes. It's not have to do with your satchel. Do you ever do you ever ask you why? And you're not sure if it did penetrate? What? I've never.
Hold on. So you wrap up, you get ready and you wipe and you're not something bad happening. And then do you check? No, I've never had to smell your fingers and check to see if it penetrated.
And OK, so we never never. OK, what about you, Paul? No, I read it. I read on the New York Post that a lot of people smell their fingers after they wipe to make sure.
Well, since you did shit in public till you're 50, I was 46. This just happened recently. So you're just now starting to explore. So that probably explains it.
You're getting shit on your fingers and you're trying. I'm not trying to get shit on my fingers. Oh, you're right. But a lot of times it disintegrates while I'm wiping.
Oh, Jesus. What's like these ladies with big fingernails? What's that called? Still poopy.
How do these ladies with the big fingers wipe their ass without getting something? How do you know? How do you know that they're like they're not meticulous?
How do you know they're not? Well, like they take a cute tip and wipe the shit out underneath their fingers. They may have a but they take one finger.
Oh, God. I mean, they're very carefully on the roster. They're very carefully scraping toilet paper.
I think they think about think about the logistics of how that would work.
What if what if they wrap it? They don't think about it eight times because if you use the use, if you use the pads of your fingers, your fingernails are trailing behind it.
I don't know. Sound effects do no justice.
Reason number three hundred, why we don't have video. Yes. Three hundred two. Yes. Yeah, there's a whole bunch.
So, yeah. So the toilet paper. I don't know who makes that shit.
Mr. Producer, can you put up the go with Kirkland brand toilet paper? It's amazing. It never shreds.
If you haven't found the bourbon, I'm not kidding. It never shreds. I've used Kirkland's. It's great.
Oh, all right. Our halftime bourbon guys brought to you by Davias County at the end of podcast Davis County.
Excuse me. Double barreled finished. This is a wheat and a very good, by the way, we in a way, what is mixed?
It's a mix of a white and a more if the bottles over there. Oh, my God.
What good for you. You know what? You're off. Thank you. Thank you, Sean.
But you drive me home. I'll drive you home. Well, well, well, well, well, easy.
The dogs get a little carried away. You know what she is.
She's like a asshole watchdog. No. Yeah, exactly.
I like a prison. She's like a prison.
Was she a former prison dog? She's a German shepherd.
I don't think they live that long. So she would be 80 years old.
And we don't we were guessing she's nine to 10 ish.
I'm good. I still have quite a bit left. And your wife.
Yes. Having surgery tomorrow. Surgery tomorrow. Bright and early.
I have nothing tomorrow. I have Wednesday.
So we're going to what are we going to do? We're going to work on the game room.
I thought you were going to go to Greenville.
I am. Oh, yeah. I promise. I am.
Oh, I've been busy, man. I've been telling you, I've been working on
hanging the light and doing the the how did the windows look good?
Oh, it looks great. It looks great.
I got really frustrated, though, because first off, we had to figure out.
OK, so it's in the middle of the kitchen.
The nook. Right. Well, that's not where the table is going to be.
And my wife wanted the light to hang over the middle of the table.
To have a hook, an extra hook. Right.
And I'm like, where's the table going to be?
Well, I haven't decided.
I'm like, well, you decide that I hang it 100 percent.
I'm like, that kind of matters. Right.
She's like, what if we turn it this way?
What if we turn it that way? What if we did?
I'm like, I don't care.
Just tell me so I can hang the light.
I was like, you do this. Right.
I'm going to go crap. Right.
Wherever the table is, I'll do anything.
I'll go make shots for myself. I'll do anything.
Just tell me where the fucking tables.
I'm sure you that's what you were doing.
Oh, you're doing shots. Really? Dude, I would.
Yeah, maybe. Kings. Anyway.
So anyway, finally, she said, I want the table here.
Was the the freaking hundred twenty eight proof Jack Daniels?
Well, here's the thing, though. Here's the thing.
So I'm standing on the table and I got to figure out where the joists are.
Right. So I don't know.
They're usually right next to the circle.
No, the box. Never. Always.
Well, in a lateral line.
Yes, of course.
But the table's not anywhere close to that. Right.
So I have to like like.
But there's already a box up there.
You know, you put it there and then you just put a hook over and hang it.
That's what I did.
But the point is, I'm like trying to figure out where the joists are
so that it's in the middle of the table.
Deciding you don't want to stick it to a place.
So he has like 10 hooks.
Yeah, but the chains all over his ceiling.
Also, I'm glad you said there's actually 13 hooks.
All right. Here's what's.
And I bought 42 inches.
Here's what's painful for me is that first goes into your living room.
Not want to call me because I would have gone over there and did it
and it made it look awesome.
What? I said you did not want to call me
because I would have gone over there and made it perfect.
But it showed you how to do it.
You're in Greenville.
And you're saying I didn't know how to make it perfect.
And I didn't know how to do it.
You seem to have worked very well, but you said it was frustrating.
It was I was frustrated because I wanted to hang the light
and make it with his wife.
But my wife was like, OK, let's move the table here.
You move the table there.
And I want the and I want the light in the middle of the table.
I'm like, well, tell me where the table is going to be
so I can move the light right and put it in the middle of the table.
Right. That was my frustration.
Yeah. So yeah, I know what to do.
Shit. I'm a man.
And men know how to do.
I'm a dude like us and do I'm a dude like us.
And I know how to like you can hang wire something and, you know,
use my miter saw.
And use my little Brad nailer.
Well, I'm so glad I bought that thing.
What a lifesaver.
You know, I'm saying you're putting the boards up and you're like, bam, bam, bam, bam.
Actually, those little battery power things, they work.
They work. Oh, my God.
I was I was amazed how fun it was.
Boom, boom, boom, boom, boom.
Instead of taking a hammer nail or screw, I used the shit out of that thing.
It's amazing. It was so much fun.
So you have like a thousand screw nails.
I counted fifteen hundred per board.
Your board is now like solid metal.
There's there.
There's you put so many it cut it every centimeter.
Boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom.
So you got the you got the frickin light up.
And you got the table, right?
Tables in. Oh, you had to buy new bulbs.
So what are you waiting for?
If you have the table, what are you waiting for?
Bulbs are in. I'm sorry.
If you've had if you received the table already, what are you waiting for?
Well, what? The placement.
You were trying to the placement of what the placement of the table?
Because it was this way.
If the tables there, I was this way.
It was going this way because my wife was deciding
she like went this way and then she went that way and then she moved
the table this way and then she moved the table that way.
I was like, honey, was it ever diagonal?
Yeah. Now it's diagonal.
Well, it is now it's now diagonal.
They still have fair and the light is.
I'm telling you.
So what she goes, she goes, yeah, like that.
I had limited options to where the rafters were going in the ceiling.
So so if she moved it that way, it was not going to be centered
because it was going to be off to the left or the right
because I have two rafters, right?
To where to put the hook.
And then she was like, I'm going to move this way.
I'm going to move it that way.
I'm like, just move it to where you want it.
And I'm going to get it as close to the middle as possible.
I have limited option.
No, you don't. Right. Yeah, I do.
Does it weigh a lot?
Because you know me and I can show.
Well, here's the thing.
This is a six hundred and seventy five pound light.
Six seventy two. Right.
And you lifted it by yourself.
I'm the one that lifted it.
I lifted it by myself.
And I carried it to the car with your.
No, you didn't. I did.
You asshole. It was very painful.
Actually, I carried it.
You carried the box.
Thirteen pounds.
Which I carried the bag.
Did you see what I was carrying?
Oh, my. By the time I got to the car, I was going to have a heart trip.
Are you carrying?
You carried the two signs at the box.
I carried the bag with the chandelier.
You are the biggest pansy ever.
Oh, dude, it was it was horrifying.
I had like a I have like a one pound box.
And it was like nothing.
And I was like, oh, I can carry that.
No problem at all.
And then I had like the two signs here and I was like, look, I got this.
You guys are like, no, no, no, you got you get the last little pieces over there.
Jeff and I'll take to this car.
I got this. I got this.
We park a mile away.
By the time I got to the car, I I thought I was going to die.
I carried it the whole time.
Negative. Not all.
Yes, I did.
No, but like all of one time out.
You're talking about the barrel top.
Oh, the barrel top.
I had the barrel. That thing was heavy.
I had the barrel top, the picture and the box.
And so I it wasn't it was it was it was swiveling.
Like the picture would fall out and I just most of the time.
I almost dropped one of your pictures several times.
The Jeff and I got pissed by the time we got down, they were like, man, fuck this.
We took turns pissing on it.
So I don't know.
That explains this yellow stain.
Well, we you know, we wanted to give it that yellow stone kind of look.
Yellow stone.
It's like it's been in the field for a while.
That's the whole idea, right? I like it anyway.
It was Davis County, Davis County, Bourbon.
Um, it's not here.
I got the bottle in front of me. Here we go.
All right. It's very lightweight.
It's a Kentucky straight bourbon whiskey finish in Missouri.
White oak barrels.
The the octave like to say octave.
The proof is ninety six ninety six proof.
I think this is made by Lux Row.
So it's not a weak.
OK, it's weird about your bike.
All right.
Not that we're but you sound you so he castered it.
So most of the bourbons that are are what do you call it?
Most of the bourbons that are mixers are 80 proof.
Right. Because lots of sound.
Can you stop doing that?
Well, OK, just note yourselves, we need to firm up the bottom of that
because it's not because I sound stupid.
No, because you're not talking into the mic.
But anyways, go on. So much bourbon.
That sounds better. So Davis County, how are you doing?
I think it's this Davis County is it looked it's flavorful.
It's not it's it's not fantastic from my standards, but it's flavorful.
I think it's I think it's a medium middle of the road for us.
OK, it's a double barrel finish.
All right. Just what I can't read the rest of it.
It's a char number two because it's not it's got it's got a nice clean look on.
In fact, the picture actually is a lot darker than what it should be.
Consider it's a char to is it really chart to where you see that?
Well, it's on the second line, which is white oak barrels.
And this is another thing where there are different types of oak.
People trip out on it like this white oak.
There's this this red oak and the black oak.
I'm not really sure about that.
All white oak. It's all white oak.
Absolutely all white oak.
I've never seen anybody say anything about it in a red oak.
I think bourbon has to be a new it has to be white oak.
Where do you get white oak from? Missouri.
So Missouri is the white oak.
Oh, I don't know. No, no, no, not just Missouri.
It's also in Prosper, Texas.
Well, I don't know. Do they have white oak?
Because like in Texas, red oak is prominent in Texas.
So I've I've actually haven't seen a whole lot of white oak here in Texas.
It's just kind of where I'm getting that.
I don't know. I don't know.
I really don't. Here we go. Here we go.
There we go. Middle. There you go.
Native range. It's basically throughout most of the eastern eastern United States.
Yeah. Basically from found in Southwest Wisconsin, Michigan, Pennsylvania, Ohio.
I just scrolled down to Mississippi River Valley. There you go.
It's it's the whole eastern. Holy shit.
Basically, basically from the Mississippi.
It's exactly right.
That's what I was about to say.
The Mississippi East is basically except for southern Florida.
Scroll down for me.
Well, you know, producers, scroll down for me.
I wonder if they have palm tree barrels.
Too far, too far. OK, so not in Florida.
Well, there we go.
So is from the Mississippi East, really from all the way north, Michigan, Maine,
all the way down to the New York to the top of Florida.
Yes. So not along the coast.
That is interesting.
So down along the coast, because you got the I guess is the tropical.
OK, hold on. Gulf of Mexico Coast, the Gulf of Mexico Coast.
But the but Atlantic, I bet it's temperate, right?
The temperature because it gets warm.
It could be just the the. Yep.
Soil. All right.
So what we're seeing is in the southern part of Louisiana,
along the coast, not happening along.
Oh, yeah, all of them.
Mississippi, Georgia, not happening.
Well, it goes a little bit a little farther west of the Mississippi.
Basically, I would be the shit out of this.
It dips into East.
It's basically the eastern side of the United States, excluding Florida.
Well, actually, it goes, I mean, quite a bit, right?
There's Arkansas, a lot of white oak in Arkansas and Missouri.
And what is that right above Missouri?
Iowa is that Iowa?
Well, a whole bunch of Iowa, a whole bunch of Wisconsin.
All of Michigan.
And a little bit of Minnesota,
the southern, southeastern part of Minnesota.
All right. So why is basically the
the the side of the United States, essentially?
Let's talk about the counties that it's covered.
Yeah. What county is not covered in in western Alabama?
I've never had a podcast where I was hoping the music.
Shawna's so done with this.
Let's get to the counties. Right.
What an asshole. Nice hole.
So this is just a I give it a five.
Really? Yeah, I agree.
And why? Actually, I will say very flavorful.
But tell me why.
Well, the number one reason why is the is it's not hot enough for me.
That's number one.
Number two is actually it's flavorful.
So that's basically I'll tell you what.
I'll give it a six. It tastes hot to me.
There is another one.
There were three of them there.
And you got you got the which one did you get?
Limited edition.
This is the double barrel. Did I buy that?
Yes, you got this one.
This is the double barrel.
I got this. I got the Stellum.
You got this one. What you get, Paul?
I got the hundred ninety nine dollar.
It's called. Did you look at?
Did you look at any bourbons while oust in Tucson?
I don't remember.
Perfect opportunity to look at see what was out there.
On advice of counsel, I declined to answer.
If there's any E.H.
Taylor's out there on advice of counsel,
I declined to answer.
You always look at. Did I not buy anything?
I know I did. I went with you.
You and I went. We bought I bought a bourbon.
No, that was last week.
No, no.
Sean and I went this last week to get this.
Absolutely not.
Because you were in Tucson driving back.
No, you and I went by ourselves and I bought a bourbon.
Where's that bourbon? Where'd you where to go?
Where to go? What did you get?
It was in your truck.
I don't think I had a I was coming back from Greenville.
On Friday. Yeah.
Yeah. All right.
Paul, you bought that then.
Yeah, I'm right. I did.
Paul, you bought this piece of shit.
So you bought that, Paul, not Sean.
Yes, I did.
Because I just bought that stelum.
I thought it was you shot.
So was you. So where's your angry?
I got angry. So you so Sean made me angry and I burped.
You were way up in Greenville.
Did you check any bourbon?
Yeah. Now suddenly there's no apology.
They don't have. Sorry, Paul.
They don't have. I was wrong.
Thank you. They don't have.
Thank you. Thank you, Jeff.
They didn't have what?
They don't have liquor stores in Greenville.
No liquor stores.
I didn't see liquor stores in Greenville.
The poor people of Greenville.
All right. Maybe they had some, but they weren't around
the Greenville Independent School District in which I was working.
Like in the school.
Well, yeah, it's like, you know, I was in the school.
I was on property, so they didn't have.
And so you were asking the fifth graders, hey,
hey, you buy your booze.
Hey, where you get your bourbon?
You boibin.
Hey, you're in seventh grade.
What? Where you get your bourbon?
So I'm going out to Tahoe next month.
I plan on hitting several.
You're going to fucking Tahoe.
I'm so what? What do you mean?
Visit my dad. It's his 80th birthday.
How long are we going to be out there?
Can I come with you for three days, four days? When?
In the middle of April, sometime about a month and a half, month and a week.
So I'm going to check the liquor stores out there.
I like that.
This is an aimless, very aimless.
My God, it's like a very night.
I still don't think we talked enough about anything.
The choice of where are you going to take a stoop for your office building?
Yeah, we covered that.
Yeah, but, you know,
I'm Paul, I'm Sean, and I'm Jeff.
And we're drunk.
And this is the end of this podcast.
Yes, it is.
We really hope you come back again.
Fuck it. If you don't, we are.
It's March 8th.
Tons of shit going on.
We got lots of bourbon coming up.
We got lots of events coming up.
And dudes like us are going to be sponsoring it.
We're going to be talking about that on our next podcast.
So stay tuned and we'll talk to you soon.
Later, bitches.