So we've influenced our Mr. Producer to start making 80s playlists.
Yeah, because we made our last episode was so inspirational.
Yes.
From an 80s knowledge and 80s music.
Knowledge.
Well, not only knowledge and history and understanding of 80s music, but...
Geopolitical history in there.
Apparently we can kill it when we sing it.
Yeah, we did harmonize pretty good.
Oh, it was amazing.
Top notch harmonies.
I'm arguing that we end the podcasting and we go on tour.
What do you say?
We could fill in for the Eagles, probably.
We could be the backbeat boys.
Yes, that bourbon sucked.
Whatever.
Let's go back and try it again.
We finished it.
We did?
We finished it.
Welcome to the second March edition of Dudes Like Us.
I'm Paul.
I'm Jeff.
And I'm Sean.
And I'm disturbed.
You are disturbed.
Well, yeah, set aside from the normal disturbed.
Oh, okay.
I had an experience before I came here and I started sitting here thinking...
Rectally?
Experience?
Is that what you're saying?
No.
Oh, all right.
Wow.
That's really...
It's shooting for the moon, aren't you?
Yeah.
Well, let's not waste time.
Let's get rectal out there early.
I'm just trying to think.
I think this is what they call projecting.
Is that what you asked earlier?
What could make Sean pause?
I think you have something to share.
Experience.
Rectally, maybe.
So we went to...
What was it?
The first Monday?
First Monday, yes.
We went to first Monday and...
Canton.
We went to Canton.
And Texas.
Before we jump into that, we had a corndog there that was...
It was terrible.
It was overwhelming.
And we don't even want to jump into that.
We'll get to that.
But I had a corndog, two of them, prior to coming here today.
And...
What?
Listen, hear me out.
Here's the disturbing part.
Where from?
Here we go.
So I'm sitting in my office.
Okay.
My daughter comes in and says, hey, we're going to go get some food.
Do you want me to pick you up something?
And they're going to the Asian Mart.
All right?
Ah.
The Asian Mart.
So they're going to go have some sushi, whatever.
And so I was like, all right, transferred some money over to her account.
Say, pick me up something.
I don't care what it is.
So she does.
And they bring him a corndog from the Asian...
An Asian corndog?
Hey, look.
These were the real deal.
Oh, Fletcher's not the real deal?
So these things...
But first of all, the girth of these dogs were impressive.
It was chode-ish.
No, no.
These things were long.
They had some...
Long and...
Long and girthy.
That was what I was going to say.
With a girthy.
Eight inches in length.
So they had...
It was a nice big piece of meat.
Yeah, that's impressive.
Was it a hot dog or a sausage?
It was a hot dog.
It was a large ballpark frank, man.
It was a nice big boy.
Nice.
Oh, it was a quarter pounder.
It was covered with cornmeal, but it was kind of like...
It was rough.
Like a...
Ribbed.
Hand paper.
Not ribbed rough.
Ribbed.
It was just...
It was ribbed for your pleasure, Sean.
It wasn't like the smooth cornmeal you dip it in the liquid and...
It was kind of like a cornflakes kind of rough on there.
They...
Look, and they sprinkled sugar on it.
Oh, that's always a good idea.
Man, I am telling you, these are the best God-blessing corn dogs I have ever had, ever.
So you are sharing a corn dog comeback story.
No.
Because the ones we had in Canton...
This is taking a very, very hard turn right now when I'm about to share with you.
Oh.
Okay?
I just looked at the bag, where they bought it from, okay?
And it was a dog, D-O-G, and Seoul spelled like Tokyo.
Like Seoul, Tokyo.
Okay.
All right?
Seoul, Tokyo?
Korea.
S-E-O-U-L-E.
That's Seoul, Korea.
Seoul, Korea.
What did I say?
Tokyo is the city of Japan.
Tokyo.
Korea, and so I'm thinking Seoul and then dogs.
Yeah, they eat dogs.
Don't they eat dogs?
So this is dog's soul.
So this is...
Why...
And there's a picture of a dog.
No, no.
Okay?
Yes, yes.
No, there wasn't.
Yes.
So Seoul dogs...
Let me see if I can pick this up.
So you...
There we are.
It's Frank's soul is the name of it.
And they have one here.
Oh, no.
And Korean style corn dogs.
So you ate like a beagle?
I'm not really sure, but I'm just sitting here thinking about it.
It was a labrador.
I was thinking dog's soul.
A chihuahua.
I just ate fucking dogs.
I don't believe it was dogs.
You ate a chihuahua.
It was very tasty.
Well, then who cares?
Oh, God.
Yeah, that was it.
Look at the picture over there.
So Vietnam.
I know Vietnamese eat...
I know Vietnamese eat dogs.
I didn't think South Korea did.
I didn't think there was a really boundary thing.
Of course there is.
Is there like a dog eating?
Just a region more...
Do you think you ate a dog, a corn dog?
No, I don't think I really did.
But you said there was a picture of a dog on it.
There was a picture of a dog on it.
I don't have it.
Well, you have Chef Boyardee.
There's a picture of a white guy on it.
Are we eating white guys?
Well, I'm not eating it anymore.
Or Uncle Ben's?
How about...
That picture got taken away.
Oh, that picture got taken away too.
Oh, how about the Twin Lakes butter?
Oh, yeah.
Oh, that got taken away.
Oh, really?
Wow, left turn on this conversation.
The left just fuck up everything.
And now they're serving me dog.
So now that you're eating the most amazing corn dog, dogs...
I've got concerns that it's infused with...
I think it is.
...with dog.
I mean, it sounds like it.
I mean, that was...
It came from the wet market.
Or wet...
What do you call it?
Wet market?
Wet market.
No, that's when they have the bush meat and shit hanging up.
No, that's what he...
Have you not been there?
They have like ducks hanging up and shit.
They're cooked at wet markets.
They do.
Raw.
Bush meat.
That sounds so...
Yeah, what is that?
Bush meat.
That's what they catch on the way in through the forest.
Right?
So, wombat and monkeys and bats and shit like that.
Right?
And they just hang it up.
They don't cook it.
It's in the wet market.
Yeah, it's in the wet market and it's...
Right next to the Wuhan Virology lab.
Yes.
Although it didn't come from the wet market.
It did come from the lab.
The producer, he didn't pull up any of the dogs that I'm talking about.
But look on my screen here.
Look at these corn dogs.
Well, the one that we had was...
Those are amazing.
...was $7.
Yeah.
Okay.
So, are we going to talk about that right now?
No.
Yeah, we need to.
No, I'm just comparing.
What was the price for that and it's delicious compared to that muckaturd we had out there?
I don't know.
I'd suspect maybe four bucks.
Yeah, see, that's what I mean.
Yeah.
We got screwed on that deal.
Anyway, we'll get to...
We were so excited about it too.
We were driving out to Canton and we were like, oh, we're going to eat the corn dogs.
Oh, man, it's like my number one go-to.
I know.
It's just like...
All right, do we want to talk about...
Should we just talk about it?
Yes.
Well, let's start from the beginning, not just the corn dog.
Well, let's start with our bourbon.
Yes.
All right, well, what is the bourbon?
Stellis.
Stellum.
S-T-E-L-L-U-M.
Stellum.
In a very, I got to admit, very bland bottle.
It's a wine bottle.
It's actually the most bland bottle I've ever seen.
No, Noah's Mill is a wine bottle too.
I know, but they have a nicer label than this one.
This one's very bland.
It is.
It's very generic.
It's just solid blue with the word Stellum on it.
Yeah, lame.
But that's okay.
It's what's in the bottle that counts.
Correct.
So what have we got in there, Jeff?
Hold on.
You don't like the bottle?
No, the bottle's awful.
What?
That's so weird.
I like the bottle.
No, bourbon bottles are supposed to be kind of manly and kind of like old style, and they're
supposed to be...
You know what I mean?
They're supposed to be square.
I don't know.
I don't know how to describe it.
It's supposed to have like, you know, kind of old English script on it, and it's supposed
to kind of be manly looking.
This is all like...
The hell is that?
I don't know.
Wine and crappy.
I think your dog just popped.
Yeah, your dog's choking on stuff over here.
It sounds like she popped.
She's sneezing.
Oh, that is a sneeze.
Oh, she's sneezing.
That's a sneeze.
That's interesting.
She's got some allergies.
Yeah.
Okay.
Blue with chomp on the floor.
Oh, there goes the nose.
She's tucking it in between the cushions.
Review of Stellum Bourbon.
It's a blend of straight bourbons.
You're right.
Yeah, there we go.
Most likely...
Oh, yeah, it looks like it's possibly some MGPs from Tennessee and some Kentucky bourbons.
It says undisclosed.
Can you imagine a blend of gay bourbons?
That's kind of odd that you would bring that up.
Well, I mean, it's a blend of straight bourbons.
What if they're a blend of gay bourbons?
Happy bourbons.
Oh.
Maybe.
But this is good.
I like it.
So, Jeff, every single time you see that something comes from Indiana, you automatically go to...
MGP.
Yeah, because it's like the staple out there.
I get that.
I'm not saying that you're wrong.
So that's very interesting.
And we've talked about this before.
So there are distilleries in Indiana that are like the springboard for many other bottlers.
Well, they're a big distillery, big grain producer, right?
And people buy their distillate, and then they take it and they age it, or they buy
a bourbon and they blend it.
And do they add anything to it?
Well, they make...
I'm not that versed.
I don't know if it's at a bourbon level, and then they take it and then blend it, or if
it's just a clear distillate and then they age it.
I think there's phases of it.
Interesting.
I think you're right.
I think you could buy the clear distillate, right?
And then you add your own wood.
Or you buy like an alligator char base, and then you take it from there.
But let's say they do it for two years.
I think there's phases that you could buy.
See, and I wonder if as...
Because we talked about when you're a brand new distillery, it obviously takes a while
for the bourbon to get going.
So they typically open with vodka.
A lot of them do, yeah.
They open with vodka, and if they don't have...
When they're aging a bourbon and they're not ready yet, maybe they buy this stuff just
to get their brand name out there.
Sure.
MGP.
Yeah.
And then, yeah.
And so maybe they go from there.
Anyway.
And then later on they switch.
I mean, it could change the whole profile of your bourbon.
Well, yeah, because they have to wait four...
At least four...
You know what I mean?
At least three years.
No, there's two.
I think nine bandage, two years.
Yeah, they got three in two years.
But honestly, good stuff is, in our opinion, in my opinion, eight plus, right?
Eight plus.
Yeah, but they're still good stuff out there.
Yeah, it depends.
Anyway, so you keep going.
Sorry.
So yeah, I mean, I'm not saying this is, but when you see Indiana, I think that's one of
the signs that says it's an MGP.
Is it 100%?
Probably not.
But do they do 90% of the shit out of Indiana?
You feel confident in saying it's MGP?
Probably.
It's high likelihood.
Any bourbon on the planet is going to buy their base from somewhere.
No.
No, no.
They're like wild turkey.
They grow their grains and they distill their own shit.
I would say most of the people that have been around for a long time.
So I think if the distillery, the distiller has been around a long time, they absolutely
do everything themselves.
Not necessarily.
I'd like to try to get a flow chart.
There's some well-known brands out there that are, they source from other folks, right?
Right.
And that provides a lot of, they call it juice, right?
The bourbon nerds.
Jeff knows a lot about where they come from.
And to me, I'm bewildered.
I'm like, I don't pay attention to that shit.
I'd like to see a big flow chart of that.
Jack comes from here, maker marks, just kind of a lineup of where all the influences come
from.
Well, so I know for a fact that Jack Daniels does everything in-house.
Everything.
Start to finish.
And I would argue that probably most of the well-established brands probably are in-house.
Not necessarily.
Like Bullet?
I know.
There's a number of them.
Bullet is MGP, I believe.
I don't know if it's MGP, but that may be sourced from Heaven's Hell or Four Roses.
So the fact that it comes from MGP doesn't mean it's the same thing for everybody.
No.
They make something for somebody else.
Correct.
They have different mashbills, right?
Different grains.
So they have different grains, different mashbills, and they mix them all up and say, and then
people probably go up there in samples, I want that one.
I want this distillate because I think it'll turn into something good.
I want this one or this one, right?
So in other words, they're just outsourcing the original distillate.
Correct.
Okay.
And finishing it in their own barrels or whatever.
Correct.
Okay.
All right.
That makes sense.
Just like Oak and Eden, right?
They don't distill anything.
They buy the bourbon.
I don't know where from.
We'd have to look at the back of the bottle and then put their staves in it, right?
Their spirals.
Right.
I think Oak and Eden is from Indiana.
No, they're in grapevine.
Oh, the bourbon?
Like the original.
Right.
Yeah, we can look.
We've got a bottle out there.
Also, they make bourbon in Japan, somewhere around the Oregon.
And it's the same thing.
They buy the multi-grain stuff and they infuse it with some of their trees over there.
Yeah.
So they have to buy it from here.
Right.
Then they can take it over there.
And do something to it.
And then they can come back and say it's a Japanese whiskey.
Got you.
So it's a dog.
Right.
All right.
Well, let's get back to Mr. Producer.
If you could put back the, yeah, stelum.
All right.
So let's walk through this nose palette.
Finish.
Uniqueness.
Here we go.
We don't have to read the whole thing, but what do we got here?
The nose is traditional sense of vanilla.
It's got a bunch of spices, man.
I mean.
First off, it's hot.
They jam packed it.
Well, it says cinnamon and baking spices land on the tongue, complemented by savory clove.
Yeah, I could definitely hit that.
Oh, yeah.
And I taste like you.
I think you said it earlier.
I don't know if it was on the podcast, but I taste some tobacco on the back end.
Right.
So rye spice rushes forth.
I've also heard that called as tea.
Tea flavor.
Yeah.
When you do that, that's the rye that you're picking up.
Tea flavor.
OK.
I saw that or read that somewhere and we pick it up as tobacco.
Right.
Maybe it's a tea that we're we're sensing.
Right.
But that's the rye.
What I understand.
Man, I could totally taste the sweet spicy mix that's at the finish.
I think it's even says dry tobacco.
So there you go.
Yeah, I like it.
I like it a lot.
OK, so I think it tastes a lot better with a cube in there.
Just dumb it down a little bit.
And maybe that makes us I don't know.
It says despite the proof, despite the proof, it's quite easy to roll around in your mouth,
meaning it is one hundred and fourteen proof.
Is that right?
Yeah.
OK, so it's it's one fourteen point eight.
I think.
Yeah, it packs a punch from a proof perspective.
So it's good.
It's actually not bad at all.
It's a classic.
Yeah, that's a sweet and spicy.
You could definitely get that despite the bottle.
Yeah.
Yeah, the bottles.
But you know, we have bought bottles or we have bought based on the bottle.
Julie picked up that thirteen colonies.
Yeah.
Based off the bottle.
We like that.
You get lucky sometimes.
You know, as many bourbons are out there, thousands of them, it almost you want to put
you want to set yourself apart.
I think this one is a bottle.
Well, I think this one does because it's so generic.
It's kind of like in a bad way.
I think they're going to start making some of these bourbons.
Remember in the 60s, 70s, you would you go somewhere and you'd buy Brut by Fabergé and
it's in the form of a car or a bicycle or I mean, how they made out of anything.
You just you know, a grenade, a book, you know, anything they make these clones out
of.
You ever seen that?
No, no.
See these.
So the bottles are shaped in all these different things that you just said.
That's kind of cool.
Yeah.
And it's just weird because you kind of.
Well, that's kind of a cool looking thing.
What?
Like a cologne?
Really?
Like either Stephen or Brandon has a cologne and it's in the shape of a flask wrapped in
leather.
Nice.
So it looks like a like an alcohol flask, but it's.
Can you imagine like open that up?
You don't want to take a ship.
That's your home warning.
No shit.
Well, hopefully you'd spell it before you got any in.
But yeah, it would be bad.
Anyway.
Yeah.
So I do think I think I think it's important to set yourself apart with a unique bottle.
But anyway, it's not unique, but not the case.
But what's inside is good.
It is good.
And it's clear.
Yeah.
Like Noah's Mill.
At least there's this kind of a greenish tint to it, which I don't know if the colors have
an impact.
I mean, I guess it shouldn't because like Jack Daniels, Crown, all those are clear bottles.
But all the bottles I see from here, they're all clear.
Well, they should be.
You're wanting to show the hue of your of your bourbon.
Oh, I think that's important.
Correct.
Most of them are.
Most of them are clear.
Yeah.
But if you've got if you've got a brown a brown glass bottle, I mean, you're hiding something
like I don't understand.
You bought the one that was solid black.
You can't even see the bourbon.
That's true.
We did.
Punchers chance of stuff floating in there.
I can't even see it.
Yeah, it's not bad.
It wasn't bad.
But you know, but why do that?
Right.
Yeah, exactly.
Well, again, I think they're taking they're taking the uniqueness to a whole new level
in terms of the bottle.
But I think that it's going to start they're going to start doing more and more of that.
Yeah, as they try to last year, they kind of see that in the variety.
You kind of see that tequila.
You see a bunch of skulls out there, right?
Yeah.
You see like tequila and skulls.
Yeah, they're trying to be all like, that's good.
Well, no, that's skulls and they have the dead.
That's big data.
Mexico.
Yeah.
Oh, that's true.
So there you go.
So I would like to get back to the Canton story.
I think I'll just about the corn dogs because I got the screen.
Well, that's where I'm headed.
I had no idea that they made corn dogs like the ones I'm saying anyway.
So we went to we dudes like us.
We've got we've got we've got a lot of legs to this journey for with dudes like us because
we are trying to represent dudes like us doing dudes like us.
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
I'm not doing anybody.
Yeah.
All right.
So we are dudes like us is we're making crafts.
We've got a CNC machine with a router and we've got an etching machine with the CNC
machine from one affinity.
What?
Correct.
So we're making these projects and we're going to get it lined up to sell in downtown McKinney
at filtered coming up for the next event, which is like within a month.
And so we need to build a case.
I know we better get going.
Yeah.
We've got things to do.
So we to to kind of encapsulate different types of projects.
We went to where they sell crafts, which is one of the biggest crafts places that sell.
It is enormous.
It's enormous.
I don't know if it's the biggest of the country.
It's definitely the biggest in Texas.
Yeah.
So this is Kenton, Texas.
We saw the whole thing.
No, I think we missed some buildings.
Yeah.
So this is in Kenton, Texas.
And when he says crafts and stuff, I mean, so imagine just rows and rows and rows of
booths that sell everything you can possibly imagine.
Clothing.
Yeah.
They don't sell dildos or things like that.
We didn't see any.
Maybe those were back room stuff.
Could be.
I don't see any.
Could be an adult barn.
Oh, I didn't see that adult barn.
I miss that.
Well, sometimes you walk up to the doors.
It's kind of like going to that bookstore.
Rare books.
Yeah.
Oh, and you got to go there.
Say the little say a little code word.
Yeah.
Facebook.
I have no idea.
I was going to say something.
I'm not something.
Anyways, now we didn't see any of that stuff, but they do.
They've got everything.
They do.
T-shirts.
They've got desks.
They've got, you know, I didn't see bicycles there, but you know, furniture, furniture,
tables, food booths, cylinder, pickles and salsas.
Yeah, chandeliers.
Yep.
Tabasco or hot sauces.
Yeah, they got spices and sauces and but what we were looking for was woodworking stuff.
We're trying to get ideas.
We were looking for crafts.
Right.
We're trying to get ideas for what other people are doing with woodworking products.
And what works.
Right.
What sells.
If they made it onto the shelves there, then somebody took the time to do the research
on what would make it on the on the best list.
Or their own trial and error.
Right.
Correct.
So we went around taking a bunch of pictures.
I took a bunch.
I didn't take.
Yeah, I didn't take very many.
I took a bunch.
I think you were taking most of them.
I was like, no reason to get duplicates of these things.
Yeah.
So we took a bunch in just to get some some tags and even went to stop by Bucky's.
We did stop by.
We did stop by Bucky's.
Picked up.
That place is a madhouse, man.
All was.
We had a clock on a Saturday and it was packed.
Packed.
It was crazy.
Yeah, I don't get it.
But it's a really cool.
It's in the middle of nowhere.
I know, but it's a really cool store.
They have lots of like, you know, non food stuff.
Right.
I tripped out with the first time I went to Bucky's.
It's the Walmart of gas stations.
And before I even went inside.
But nicer.
Nicer than Walmart.
I was tripping out on the amount of the quantity of pumps they have out there.
Oh, yeah.
It's ridiculous.
Who the hell do these people think they are?
Yeah, but they're all they're all being used.
They are.
And I just like I was like, God bless.
I would say there's probably 30.
Would you say there's 30 rows of two pumps of four pumps?
Oh, man.
How many rows are there?
Maybe 18, 20.
Some are bigger than others.
They've probably got 100 pumps out there.
Yeah.
Easily.
I don't know what denominations.
It's insane.
There's there's this.
And plus they have a truck side.
And no, they don't.
There are no semis allowed.
But they've got an extension.
They've got an extension because they're starting buckets.
Start to come up with their own car wash area and they come up with a hotel area.
The one up here by us.
No semis allowed.
Well, maybe.
I mean, I'm sure.
But there's somewhere.
They have a sign that says no semis allowed.
There was somewhere I saw that there were some semi trucks.
Maybe they're just around the corner.
Those are the loves.
Loves.
I think I just saw it, Mr. Producer.
I think it said 120.
Scroll up a little bit.
I think it said 120 gas pumps.
Keep going right there.
It says 53, 120 gas pumps opening second Alabama location.
Yeah.
100 and you said 100.
What did you say?
I said 100.
Yeah.
Impressive.
120 gas pumps.
God, lady, that's nuts.
And they're all being used.
I know.
It's crowded.
It's a great store, though.
Yeah.
I mean, they sell a lot of stuff.
A lot of knickknacks, a lot of local, you know, a lot of Texas stuff for us.
They sell a lot of stuff that we want to sell.
I mean, they do.
They really do.
And actually, I saw more.
I saw more stuff in Buc-E's than I did at Canton in terms of what we want to sell, to
be honest.
Well, yeah, sure.
Anyway, but keep going.
What were you going to say?
Well, I mean, we were catching phrases.
We were taking pictures of what the plaques say.
You know, they've got all kinds of cute things.
I don't know.
You know what, let me just open my phone up and create some searching music.
They have a lot of a lot of Texas.
When I say Texas, a lot of, you know, like kind of like southern stuff.
Correct.
You know what I mean?
Like, y'all come back here, you know, that kind of y'all.
Y'all.
So just, you know, country draw stuff.
Yeah, we were just a few places that had barrels, wine barrels and bourbon barrels.
We didn't find a source for that.
Well, yeah, we got barrel lids.
Yeah.
And there was there was a lot of cool stuff.
I took a shitload of laundry room.
You got to know when to hold them.
You got to know when to fold them.
No one to walk away.
No one to run.
All right.
So that's a laundry room thing.
Yeah.
You got no one hold them.
No one to fold them.
And that is Kenny Rogers.
That's Kenny Rogers.
Kenny Rogers, who died not too long ago.
A couple years ago.
Yeah, I think so.
Yeah, he died.
He had lots.
Yeah, he had lots of surgery.
He doesn't look the same at the end as he did when probably where we knew him best from
six pack or whatever the BBC was.
Nice healthy beard.
Yeah, I mean, the manly man.
He looks he looked very to the world.
Frail.
You are a frail, but plastic surgery.
Oh, I hate that.
Why did I wish they wouldn't do that?
Pull up Kenny Rogers.
People just need to be comfortable in their own skin.
Stop getting work done.
It almost doesn't even look.
But you know what?
It makes them feel better.
That's a good point.
And it could have been, you know, what is the alternative?
See, there.
Oh, good Lord.
Look at that.
Part of that is age, right?
No, that's work.
Like that one right there in the.
Yeah, look at that.
That doesn't even look like him.
No, it doesn't.
I'm sorry.
Like that.
That's Kenny Rogers.
I know with the big old beard.
With the smoky eyes.
Looks like Michael McDonald.
He kind of got a little Kenny Loggins thing going on.
So he's got a little bit of a beard.
He's got a little bit of a beard.
So what was amazing with Kenny Rogers for me is he was kind of fat and he went and got
that liposuction.
Kenny Rogers get?
Yeah.
Well, yeah, if a country singer is getting liposuction, there you go.
Then he's obviously really worried about her.
Very vain.
Vain.
Yeah, that might be the right word.
But you know what?
You said you said a valid thing.
I always was very judgmental of people who get work done.
And then then I thought to myself, you know what?
If that's your hang up, let's imagine somebody is like afraid to like face the world or they
walk down the street with their head down and their eyes don't look, you know what I
mean?
Because they're always self-conscious about something.
They think their teeth are nasty.
That's an image problem.
Right.
And if they go and get that fixed, who am I who am I to say that that's stupid or vanity?
Well, I mean, there's a degree to it, though.
But if it if it removes something that holds them back from being a happy person, then
fuck it, man.
Life is too short.
Go get that taken care of.
Go fix your teeth.
Go get hair plugs.
Go get this.
Doing something like that because your teeth are crooked or your nose is broke or something
like that is one thing.
It's one thing.
You can work down where it completely changes the way you look or it's an obsession because
there's people out there that are boobies.
Boobies, fake boobs.
I don't like augmentation.
I don't like them personally.
Yeah, I like natural.
They just don't move very they don't.
They're hard looking.
Yeah, you can bounce a quarter off of them.
Yeah, they look natural to me.
How do you know that?
I watched a YouTube video.
Oh, there's they have that on YouTube porn tube.
Red tube.
You guys called it red tube.
Oh, you guys.
I have never even heard.
You're the one who sent us the links.
Oh, shut your mouth.
I had never heard of red tube before until you guys said red tube.
And you never had never heard.
That was that was Jeff.
Me.
I mean, I've heard porn.
I've heard a porn hub.
You guys like what's a porn hub?
I was like, really?
And you're like, RedTube.
I'm like, I was RedTube.
And you guys like, really?
So fake boobies out.
So I here's my thought on fake boobs.
There are some professional women out there.
When I say professional, I'm just saying young executives.
I think that if you get a breast augmentation and you're too young, too young would be like
in your 20s.
Oh, there are there are girls.
There's girls that are 17, 18.
Yeah, that's way too young.
Oh, absolutely.
I agree with that point.
And from a physical point, your body hasn't finished morphing into what it's going to
be.
And there's just and what it does is it creates a false sense of security.
You know, things God makes you in a certain way to give you challenges so that you can
burst through those thresholds successful.
You can grow and be a confident, happy person.
You take a shortcut like that.
You know, it just it kind of cheapens you.
Yeah.
I mean, it's I don't I mean, granted, you know, if I'm looking at some boobies, you're
going to appreciate a big set of boobies.
But at the same time, I don't look at it.
I look at it differently.
I look like those were those weren't earned.
Well, I think I think some of it has to do with self-confidence.
Right.
I know a lot of women who really don't have breasts.
Right.
Because they're flat or they didn't ever really grow.
But they they're self-conscious.
It's kind of what you said earlier.
Right.
Yeah.
And if you get that, you're like, I want to go to a C cup or something like that or D
cup or something like that.
But when you start getting to these where they're frickin volleyball.
Oh, yeah.
That's OK.
Ridiculous.
OK, but that's that's not you know, that's outside the norm.
Right.
So let's talk about somebody that goes from a what is it smaller than an aid.
They have a triple a double a.
Say somebody that wants to go from an A to a C. OK, that way they feel like they look
good in the.
That's fine.
As long as it looks semi natural.
So who are we to judge that it gives them confidence and they look good in the clothes
that they're wearing and and I'm OK with that.
I'm fine with that.
But like I said, once you get beyond that.
Right.
It's like that doesn't do anything for me at all.
Yeah.
But you know, I can somewhat relate when I went when I have my penile reduction.
I just the tip.
No, I needed the whole thing.
Oh, yeah, because I mean, it was unmanageable.
But I just felt like, you know, I.
I can't keep.
No, no, no, no.
I think that joke's run its course.
Yeah, that's all course last night.
That's all I had.
OK, anyway, let's get back to Canton.
That was a cool trip.
We saw a lot of cool things.
We ate that corn dog that mine went sideways.
You guys remember that?
So OK.
So first of all, I don't remember the name of the place, but the dogs were seven dollars
to start.
It was just like one of those county fair just a food cart.
But they make it right in front of you, which is kind of cool.
Yeah.
They dip it in the batter and they, you know, it was words of advice that I'm going to share
with folks out there.
And you're at and you want to get because look, a good corn dog is, you know, you can
go to the mall and there's this ruby, a salubrious, a briar, a salubrious, a salubrious, where
they take the corn dogs, a regular hot dog, and they dip it in the cornmeal.
And then it's just a regular corn dog.
OK, normal hot dog.
But when you go to the fair or these special events, you get the bigger extended dog.
Oh, you're talking about the foot long.
Yeah, the foot long.
Right.
So when you get that one, you're thinking that, you know, I'm getting the the in primo
the premium.
I'm getting the large premium dog and then they're covering it.
No, they didn't.
So meat sucked.
It was a regular size hot dog.
Well, elongated.
So so time out.
So here's what the problem was.
The hot dog was crunchy.
It was too firm.
It wasn't cold, but it was kind of it was firm.
Yeah, it was.
It was firm.
I don't even know how to.
Yeah, it's just it's like you had to snap it.
Yeah.
So here's here's where they screwed up.
They just didn't boil or cook the hot dogs long enough.
Like it had the hot dogs been done right.
And then you put it in the batter.
We would have been like, oh, my God, these were amazing.
You think they just screwed up on the dog.
Should they precooked them?
Like have them in boiling water?
Of course.
And then cook them into it?
Yeah.
I don't know.
I don't know what the proper.
Absolutely.
They have to because because when they dip it into the batter and they put that on, that's
like instantaneous.
We call a friend in who gained who has who's the authority on the corn dogs?
Oh, I don't know.
I don't know.
Taylor, I'm have to go through my contact.
Producers one and producers two.
Oh, no, they're busy.
They're bored.
If I were to have a corn dog, the one prior to the ones I discussed earlier from the
dog ones, I would the sole dogs.
What I was trying to say, I would like a huge bratwurst dipped in cornmeal.
Yeah.
Why haven't they done that?
Why don't they take a sausage dog or a bratwurst and put it in?
Yeah.
It was like, I wonder if I could do that myself.
I have those little fryers.
Yeah, you could do it yourself.
Just make some cornmeal.
What the hell?
Why have you ever done that?
I don't know.
All right.
We're going to do the we're doing that this summer.
We're doing the charcuterie meal.
We'll do corn dog meal.
We'll have different absolutely different wieners types.
Yeah, we're going to do bratwurst.
We're going to do sausages.
What's the other one we were going to do?
Or was that it?
Well, that was it.
That I said seafood, but policy to eat seafood.
I eat catfish.
That's river food.
Let's do a fish fry.
Yeah, fish fries.
That's what it was.
I want to do a fish fry.
I'm good with that.
And we can do shrimp.
It's a cod.
Cod.
What is that?
I don't know why you made your face like that.
What is the little little dinos or the what are the little freaking crawfish?
Yeah, I'm out on crawfish sucking the brain out and sitting.
You don't have to do that.
Peeling off all the little pieces.
And then you're like, oh, I got a peanut.
That's good.
I mean, what's the point?
It's a lot of work.
Honestly, I know it's the event.
You sit out back.
You're just feeling visiting, drinking, eating food.
You're not sitting there going, I'm going to eat 10 pounds in a minute.
OK.
I'm trying not to be, you know, I have the five year old issue, right?
Where I mean, I'm with the texture or the color.
OK, so what does crawfish taste like?
Don't say chicken.
Have you ever had shrimp or lobster?
It tastes like I've had shrimp and lobster.
Then it's somewhere in there.
Like so it's good.
Yeah.
So it's just like a small lobsters, essentially.
So it is kind of like so the texture is about nasty looking, though.
Well, you just rip it off and there's I know, but they're like they're like they're like
to get from it.
They're like ocean ants.
I mean, you have we've had lobster.
It's the same thing.
So small animal and you pull off the tail and that's all you get.
You get like this little tiny.
I know.
What's the point?
It's a lot of work.
Again, it's the it's the experience, right?
A lot of crawfish boils.
They're so gross looking.
Yeah, but you know what?
They do taste great.
They're fabulous.
It's I tell you what, I've never tried them.
So I need to stop being a pansy.
That's what it takes.
Because they have the flavor of the actual crawdad.
Is that what it's crawfish crawfish crawfish?
What's the difference between a crawdad and a crawfish?
Spelling.
Same thing.
Oh, nice.
OK, keep going.
It's also a crayfish.
Well, crayfish is a little small bugs.
Bugs.
See what he's saying?
Bug.
But let's go to all shucks and we'll get a couple pounds.
OK.
But there's a thing is, is when you when you make it within the backyard thing, you got
a huge vat and you got a boiling water and you've got you season the shit out of it.
Yeah, you see it with a they're all screaming.
You got slap your mama seasoning and you dump it in there and there's lots of it because
it's heavenly seasoned.
Oh, it's tremendous.
I guess that's what they taste like.
It's the seasoning for the most part.
You feel the seasoning with on the shell.
You fill the core.
You open the meat.
You've got new water is that you drop in there.
Oh, and you've got the sausages, the kielbasa.
You slice that up into like two, three inch chunks and you put shit loads in there.
I'm talking a huge vat of crawfish and not the crawfish yet.
Oh, crawfish is in a cooler, still alive, cleaned and they're still alive.
Yes.
Yeah, you don't want to boil them alive.
You know what?
Yes.
Yeah.
And so you basically you have you put it all together.
All right.
And then once it's all what's the you put it in there for a certain amount of time for
the potatoes to cook because the corn cooks relatively fast and the sausages are pretty
much precooked, but they're all infused in this flavor, the seasoning.
And then you dump the crawfish in there and then you hear.
So they do scream and cry and like, tell my mommy, I love they don't have vocal cord,
it's probably like gas escaping.
They're there.
Yeah, but they're still like, you know, crying out.
You don't think so?
They're like this rocks.
I'm about to get eaten.
They're like, what's up, dude?
Are you ready?
I'm ready.
Yeah.
So, you know, it's the, you know, it's the carapace that's squealing.
Yeah.
Carapace.
Yes.
Oh, boy.
Yeah.
Sean, help me with this.
Sean is.
All right.
Well, we have a carapace.
That's the shell.
Hmm.
Carapace.
Not piss, carapace.
Oh, carapace.
Carapace.
The dorsal section of the exoskeleton or shell in a number of animal groups.
You know what?
I'm not going to ask.
Including arthropods and crustaceans.
I'm just not even going to ask.
Well, there's vertebrates.
Yeah.
So just turtles and toys.
Carapace.
Oh, that's a shrimp over there.
So when you go into a seafood restaurant and you're saying, yeah, can you give me a tool
to help with this carapace?
You could.
And they would be like.
Correct.
They'd be like what?
Did you say tool?
A tool.
Tool.
Do you have a carapace?
What's the base?
Do you have a carapace tool?
Well, they're going to be like, well, what type?
Because we can, we're cut turtles open.
We're cutting lobsters.
You know.
Which crustaceans.
But you need a carapace tool to break open the shell.
You don't ask for that?
All right.
We will next time.
Actually, with the crawfish.
And you know what I guarantee they would say?
They'd say, I'm sorry.
I'm sorry, what?
What?
You need a, did you say cara?
What did you say?
Carapace.
Caracaduce.
And you're like, oh my God, you work here.
Carapace.
Do you not know what carapace is?
I'm not going to go to a seafood restaurant with you, Jeff.
Son of a bitch.
I'm just not.
I mean, just too, there's too much going on.
God, it's terrible.
Yeah, it is terrible.
Well, so it is good.
Once you dump it on the table, you cover the table up with the newspapers and you take
the whole pot and you, you don't want to dump the juices on there.
But you know, kind of take a big ladle and you put it on the table.
And if any of them are still crawling, they're all dead.
You'll put that one back in.
They're all dead.
No, they do.
They do.
Some do escape when they're, when you're putting them in there.
It's kind of funny.
It's like they grab with their claws.
Yeah.
Oh, they hang on.
Oh, please.
I have three kids.
You like suck it.
Your kids are in there already.
Oh, God.
That is heartless.
That's one thing they sell at Bucky's is they are these large vats where you cook the stuff.
Yeah, there it is.
Look how delicious that is.
You got sausages, new potatoes.
So everything in there, you got to break open and fish out the little tiny piece of meat.
Yes.
In the back.
You can suck the guts out the brain too.
No, I'm good.
But that's, that's where a lot of the flavor gets housed because the insides are kind of
an orange creamy center.
Paul, here's the deal.
Paul, listen, listen.
That's called the mud.
You're not helping.
The more you eat.
No, you're not selling it.
The more you eat them, the easier it is that the whole experience happens.
I mean, because when you first, your first time you do it, you just like, there's so
much you're throwing away.
What do you so much you're throwing away.
And then after a while you're, you get used to the taste and then you get used to the
texture and then, and then all of a sudden you're sucking the other stuff.
You are a five year old.
I think I would need to be on like a survivor show, like Bear Grylls.
What you need to do is just do it.
Just do it.
To where I'm starving to death.
Just say this is lobster.
It's really small.
Yeah, you're eating like 20 of them.
And by the time you're finished with that 20th one, you're going to be inexperienced.
I mean, because you're not, you don't go out being like, I'm going to suck the hell off
that fricking thing.
No, it's something that happens over time.
I think if I can eat spam, I can eat crawfish.
Yeah.
Well, how about those canned oysters?
I mean, if you can.
I can't, I can't do oysters.
You never did those, did you?
No.
There was a shot of that.
I ran away.
I had one.
Oh, they were disgusting.
Well, there you go.
See?
Then why would I want one?
Oh my God, this tastes horrible.
You got to try this.
No, we tell you if it tastes bad.
Don't try the canned oysters.
I ate two.
Oh.
Yeah.
Why would you do that?
Yeah, I learned one was enough for me.
Hey, you know what?
I wanted to give it a try.
After the first one, you were like, oh God, that's the worst thing I've ever tried.
Maybe it was a bad one.
Give me another one.
Yep.
It's still bad.
Yeah, it's terrible.
I'll send you guys a picture of that not too long ago.
They're just terrible looking.
Terrible.
This is a big booger is what it looked like.
That was a fun mistake.
Oh God.
Yeah.
But it was a mistake.
But I say we planned another one.
So we had canned meat night.
We had to do the charcuterie, which isn't quite as exciting or as adventurous.
No, it wasn't like summer sausages, fruits, and pork meats.
Yeah, but that's not a dinner.
That's an appetizer.
No, that's a dinner.
You get cheeses, you get olives, you get some little...
Oh yeah, with broaching and sliced French rolls.
That's a meal?
Sure.
You get chocolate pieces and some fig jam and some crackers.
I'm listening.
And it's not a cheap dinner.
I'll give it a bet.
Did you say chocolate?
Did you say cake?
Yeah, I meant fig.
Yeah, that's not a charcuterie board.
No, it isn't.
That's spam.
I love spam.
I love the canned meats.
I got to buy some of that.
Have you tried the bacon flavored spam?
No.
I just saw it up there.
I've never had it, but I just saw it up there.
I'm buying that the next time I go to Kruger.
Yeah, right there.
Bacon.
All right, so is there anything else on the...?
Yeah, we had talked a little more about the first Monday.
So we went out there and there's, for one thing, it's very pro-Trump, which we were
all for.
Well, I mean, come on.
You're in Texas, right?
Right, right.
Well, what's funny, I think it's funny, is you had these booze that were selling nothing
but pro-Trump, very patriotic shirts.
F Joe Biden.
Second Amendment supporting anti-media, the whole nine yards.
De-fund the media.
Lots of t-shirts, right?
And there was zero Joe Biden booze.
Yeah, zero.
There weren't any.
And to think how close the last Senate race was with Cruz, dumbass, Beto.
Beto, Beto.
There's a Beto sign down the street.
Are you kidding?
I got out and threw up on it.
Good for you.
No, not really, but I was just like, really?
We didn't learn from last time.
And now he's running for governor.
That's what I mean.
That's the governor.
Beto for governor.
It looks just like his other ones, right?
Beto, Beto Cuck.
He's trying.
He'll settle for anything.
I mean, he's just trying to get any office.
I think he's an attention whore.
Yeah, he's desperate for attention.
All right, so Beto is Spanish for Rob.
He's Irish.
His name is Rob.
He's Irish.
Is that right?
Can you look that up?
It's Robert.
I think his name is Robert or Rob, and Beto is Spanish for Rob.
It's like Robert O'Shaughnessy or something like that.
There's nothing Hispanic about him.
Not at all.
There's nothing.
I think the fact that he was out in El Paso, he considers himself part of the group.
He's full of shit.
So Beto, what's Beto's real name?
No, no, no.
What's Beto's real name?
All right, so let's see here.
It's a nickname for given names, Alberto, Albertino, Bertone, Roberto.
There we go, Roberto.
So his name is Robert or it's Rob.
No, it's Robert.
Like I said, he's Irish Catholic.
Right.
So there's nothing Hispanic or Latin American or anything, but he's catering to the...
That's not even his last name.
Oh no, he's catering to the Hispanic vote by calling himself Beto.
The buzz is that he would hire his maids and his name's Robert, right?
So the maids would call him Beto because that's Roberto, but it gets even shorter after that.
It's Beto.
Yeah, that's a nickname.
From Roberto.
A Spanish nickname for Roberto.
It's pronounced, because when I lived in El Paso, lots of people were...
They called lots of people Beto.
Hey Beto, but it wasn't Beeto or Beto.
Or Betacuck?
It's Beto.
No, they say Beto.
He's a beta.
It's kind of a weird where you stick the tongue on the top of the mouth.
Is the B a V?
No.
No?
Is the B a V?
It's kind of like a flat B.
Like I'm going to veto you?
Instead of a B, it's Beto.
I don't know.
Anyway, keep going.
I don't want to say it, so I'm not going to learn it.
That's just what...
We'll go for you.
Fight back.
One of the producers texted me a little factoid, so I was just like...
He said that the name came from the maids that were servicing their house in the mansion.
There's a...
Oh, he's in a mansion?
Mr. Beto.
What does he do for a job to afford a mansion?
His wife is wealthy, and he doesn't do with it.
He doesn't do fit.
Beto doesn't do fit.
Hold on, was he the mayor?
What mayor?
He's the mayor?
Oh, that's right.
Robert O'Rourke.
That's his name, Robert O'Rourke.
He's been in public...
That's so stupid.
He's been in public office.
I mean, people can't see through this crap.
Roberto O'Rourke.
Was he the mayor of El Paso?
I don't know.
I believe so.
He's either the mayor or the congressman for El Paso.
Seriously, what...
16th...
Yeah, congressional district.
Oh, so he wasn't even the mayor.
No.
Honestly, I would give him more credit if he was the mayor.
Well, because he'd have more to do.
Correct.
When you're the mayor or a governor, you are the head honcho.
You're the guy in charge.
You're the woman in charge.
That's why when they totally dogged on Sarah Palin, I was like, time out.
She was the governor of Alaska, meaning the president of the state of Alaska.
She was the number one leader of Alaska.
Don't give me the shit that she'd not qualified for anything.
Beto is just a fucking congressional representative.
He's like AOC.
He's nothing.
He's honestly nothing other than making sure that congressional money makes their way to
his constituents in El Paso.
He doesn't answer to anybody.
He doesn't lead anybody.
He doesn't deal with crisis planning.
He doesn't deal with flooding in their city.
He doesn't deal with anything.
He's just a guy that's been sent to Congress to make sure that money comes back for the
constituents.
Well, do we have Mayor Pete?
Was he qualified?
Not at, well, more than Beto.
I was just giving your argument to you.
The booty egg.
The booty egg or booty a.
Booty.
Booty, Mr. Booty.
Booty.
Booty Judge.
Booty Jeej.
Who's now sitting there telling us to buy cars.
Hold on.
He was the mayor of what?
We can save money on gas.
I know.
Five dollars a gallon of gas.
We can save money by buying an electric car.
He's a fucking moron.
Anyway, well, he was a mayor of whom?
Buddy egg.
South.
That wasn't South Bend, was it?
No, that's it was a very small town.
Mr. Producer, Pete Booty Egg or Booty.
Booty.
Booty Judge.
Spell that.
B-E-T.
No, B-U-T-T.
G-U-G-E.
Pete.
Pete Booty.
Yeah, I want to know what he was the mayor of.
And I will give that a little respect because he was the mayor, meaning the head guy.
There he is.
Of course, honestly, you guys know this.
The city manager runs the city, right?
You guys know that, right?
It's not the mayor.
Correct.
It's the city manager that runs cities.
Correct.
Anyway, he was the mayor of what?
And if you're going to tell me it's a 40,000, a person of 30,000 people.
South Bend.
It was a very small.
OK, how many people live in South Bend?
Two.
I thought so many kids were there.
It was Pete and his wife.
Yes.
Oh, no, it's another wife.
I want to know how many people live in.
He's married to a guy.
In.
Oh, that's right.
So he had maternity leave, yet neither him nor his husband gave birth.
He had three months.
Mayor of South Bend.
How many people live in South Bend?
It's a very small town.
Indiana.
Thirty second mayor of South Bend, Indiana, for eight years, which earned him the nickname
of Mayor Pete.
Wow.
He kind of reminds me what an amazing reminds me of the he was the presidential Dukakis
is he the one in the tank with the stupid helmet?
He looked just absolutely ridiculous.
He ran against.
Was it Reagan or Bush?
The first Bush.
Anyway, that's who he reminds me of.
So he goes from the mayor of South Bend, Indiana, to running for president.
That's like the that's like the mayor.
It's like the mayor of Guenther.
Can you look up how many people live in South Bend, Indiana?
It's like some small Texas.
I bet you I bet you it's no more than seventy five thousand people.
I don't know.
And he's going to go from there to run for president of the United States.
And now he's a transportation secretary.
They had to give us something.
No, they didn't.
No, they didn't have to give him anything.
But that's the way the good old boys system works.
Right.
All right.
Here we go.
Please, please surprise me and tell me it's like six hundred thousand people.
No, it's small.
Oh, my God.
A hundred thousand people.
The city we live in is three times that size.
Oh, the mayor of South Bend, Indiana, with a population of a hundred thousand people,
he thinks he's qualified to be president of the United States of America.
Are you kidding me?
They can't you know why he shot to prominence because he's gay.
That's it.
Well, the reason that transportation job is for they wanted him to bow out of the race.
And they were like, all right, look, if you bow out, you know, we'll get you hooked up.
Amazing.
And he knows nothing about transportation as obvious as these freaking interviews that
he's given.
He knows and the stuff or comments that he's making.
Incredible.
So there's a new mayor.
That's the new mayor.
Mayor Pete.
Mayor Pete is the chief executive of the city of South Bend.
Wow.
I wonder how much he's getting paid.
Well, we would do that.
They don't make shit.
Yeah.
How much politicians get paid locally.
And it's surprisingly very small.
I can't believe it.
A hundred thousand people.
This guy has no credibility whatsoever to be in a high profile, very important role
in any anywhere.
Anywhere.
Yeah, I don't know.
That's incredible.
Sorry.
I'm letting my hate spill over here right now.
OK, what were we talking about before we were talking about the first Monday still?
Because I got on.
I was like, there were several booths of very patriotic pro Trump.
Yes, I like that.
And there was zero Biden Democrat booths.
Zero.
There weren't any.
Let's imagine there was one.
Let's say there was a pro Biden stall.
How do you think that would go?
I would have said something.
It would have gotten egged.
No, I don't think it would have been egged, but it probably would have gotten heckled.
Big time.
It would have gotten heckled.
If I were there, I'd be uncomfortable.
By a lot of people.
Yeah.
Sorry, go ahead.
And there were people walking around with guns, which I thought was fantastic.
Oh, yeah.
Well, it's just on the big old holster, right?
Yeah.
Sidearm.
I think it's great.
Yeah, it was pretty cool.
I think the, you know, I think stuff like that to me kind of keeps things tame.
You know, if you see a bunch of people walking around with guns and, you know, it's not part
of a committee.
You know, they're just like random people.
Hey, I've got my gun.
You know, it just keeps everybody in check.
It does.
You know, I mean, it's just like, all right, well, I guess this is the wrong place to be
holding up people.
Yeah.
Right.
No, I mean, you freaking steal someone's purse, you're probably going to get capped.
You know what?
Let me share a quick story.
Let me share a quick story on that.
So my brother and I were driving back from Tucson.
You shot someone?
We drove to Texas.
Okay.
Back there.
And we decided to drive all day.
We drove for 11 hours on the first day.
Right.
So we drive all the way from Arizona through New Mexico into Texas and we stopped in Junction,
Texas, and we're arriving at midnight.
Okay.
So we pull up this up to this hotel.
I pull into into the little, you know, lobby lobby area and I look inside and there is
a young woman, young woman walking to the door.
No, she's not nude.
She was walking to the door.
She unlocks the door.
What was she wearing?
Well, hold on.
She means everything.
She unlocks the door and she walks back and sits down behind the desk.
So I'm like, okay, did she just lock it when she saw that I drove up?
No, she unlocked it.
She saw I drove up.
I walk in.
She's got a pistol on her hip.
Sure.
Right.
And I'm like, just back to what you were saying.
I was like, that was the sexiest thing I've ever seen.
Here's this 20.
I bet she was 26, 27.
She wasn't nude.
She had the holster on.
Yeah, she was completely naked except for a gun on her hip.
What is wrong with you guys?
So this was at a hotel?
Yeah, this is a hotel that my brother and I stayed at.
And so the lady that worked the front was packing.
Nice.
She carried like a desert eagle.
It was super cool.
I'm sure it's legal, but I'm sure I didn't think that was policy.
Well, if it's if her family owned it, I think the owners, I think they know it.
I think they own it.
And she was super sweet.
And I was like, oh, you got the late shift.
She goes, I got every shift, which tells me she works there.
Right.
She probably lived there.
Well, and her kids, she had a kid sitting in the chair next to her.
And then another kid came out the back and she was like, go back to bed.
She was 20.
I can't sleep.
I think she was I think she's in her mid 20s.
Is that midnight?
Oh, yeah.
Kind of racket they're running over there.
Well, the kids were like all blurry eyed.
And I mean, she lives there.
She lives there in the front room.
Right.
I mean, it was I know.
What kind of gun was it?
Big Desert Eagle.
It was a 44 Magnum.
I'm just saying it was when you walked in, she was like, I let me just say, I thought
it was cool.
I think it was prudent.
Right.
Sure.
You never know what kind of riff raff pulled up to the so junction is there is like nothing
around on nothing, nothing around.
And is it close to the border?
Relatively.
I mean, probably with the mommy within three or four hours of the there's a pin on the
map.
Remember, there's nothing there.
So it's in between San Angelo.
There it is right there.
San Antonio.
Yeah.
I mean, you may get some Texas.
You may get some that small, you know, where there isn't a lot of traffic.
You may get a lot of illegals coming through that way.
Oh, I bet.
You know, I bet.
Was it by Mauricio's Quick Stop or the Big Hungry Cafe?
Actually, I think it was down the road a little bit further, actually, to the to the east.
It was called Oyo.
Oyo.
Oyo Hotels.
You can look that up.
South Yano Floral.
I don't know.
I just know we were tired.
We had driven 11 hours that day, which is not really a lot.
But it's not.
No, it's not.
And then we see it is, you know, I drove 18 hours in two days.
So I mean, that's not 11 hours in a day is a lot.
It's a lot.
I mean, I drove from I mean, we have all drawn long distances, but like from from here to
Alabama, you know, that was tiring.
By the time I was in Alabama, I was like, I'm done.
I don't want to drive anymore.
And I'll tell you what, when you stop at the rest stop after driving that many hours and
then like you're you know, you're standing at the urinal and these white lines are flashing
by your eyes.
I'm telling you, that's it.
It messes you up.
You're still seeing that problem.
And you're still in.
I rent a car that's got the the.
So you watch TV when you drive by itself, the little readers that could tell you that
if you're in the lane, you have the VR goggles on.
If you start to veer off a little bit, it gives a little nudge.
Hey, hey, hey, buddy.
That is so irresponsible.
And in addition to that, I've got the sensor that spaces you from the car in front of you.
So if I set the car in front of you real quick, that is so irresponsible.
Irresponsible.
It's the end.
And you're sitting there watching the walking dead.
I wouldn't do anything because the brakes get slammed on automatically.
You're kidding me.
It's the fact that you're so irresponsible.
But you literally don't even pay attention to the road.
I pay attention.
No, you don't.
I'm looking at the road, but you're saying time I can look over at the TV or the tablet
and TV while you drive.
But you know what else?
That's highly illegal.
You are going down the street and you're and you're looking at the lake next to you or
the mountains in the background.
I pay attention to the road and only the road.
Me too.
Man, look at you.
You're one of those Tesla people who's sleeping in the front seat.
We're having sex.
Time out.
With who?
Yeah, yeah.
Is that an option?
My wife won't go with me.
Sex mode.
Is there something that protrudes out of the front dash?
Oh, is that one of those sit and spins?
I don't think it's a singular.
It's kind of difficult to spin in a Tesla.
I don't know.
Maybe one of those chairs that just like a little suction device.
You're like, maybe I do need to buy a Tesla now.
No, put it on his cruise control.
I have a problem with the Tesla.
I'd buy that.
And you see what you see what the Elon Musk said.
He's like, it's time to pump more gas.
Hard time.
Hard.
What do you say?
Something.
Something times require.
Rough times require extreme time to require extreme measure.
Something like that.
He said, even if it hurts my company.
Yeah, pump more oil.
I love it.
He's very rational.
He's pragmatic.
He's logical.
Pragmatic.
That's the perfect word for it.
Yeah.
And he's doing a lot of good.
Him putting his satellites over Ukraine was just a crazy.
I don't know if he's applicable to get the Nobel Peace Prize for something like that.
They won't let him have it at this point because he's spoken out against the establishment
too much.
But it is it is something that would deem him worthy of it.
Of course.
Trump was deserved as well.
He didn't get it.
Oh, well, I think even more so than massively deserved, massively deserved for doing the
Lincoln Abraham Accords.
Abraham Accords.
Yeah.
So something else happened.
Elon Musk, he deployed those satellites for his SpaceX, no SpaceX, his Starlink.
Then something else happened to where he was telling the people what they need to do.
You know what I'm talking about?
So all those people that have Starlink now have no Internet.
So if you would have gotten Starlink up in Colorado, those satellites are gone.
No, no, no.
He launched more.
Oh, he launched two new ones or whatever.
I believe so.
Just for the Ukraine issue.
I believe so.
It's a little more than an issue, but.
But then I don't know.
I don't know anything about this.
But also, but also something else happened in like in in motion that he said, we're going
to do this.
And this is and he told the people, this is how you're going to get Internet.
You need to do this and this.
I mean, he's you know, my point is he's like actively monitoring and his company is actively
making sure where they have Internet.
He's from Zimbabwe.
Elon Musk.
South Africa.
I don't know.
Was he born here?
I know he has kind of an accent, but I think I think he is Canadian potentially.
I don't know.
That's why he's weird, though.
He's really weird.
He's eccentric is what he is.
Well, he married that one girl and then and then named their kids something weird.
Where is he born?
I'm going to go with Canada for some reason.
He was raised in South Africa.
I said Zimbabwe and then we're close.
Canadian mother in South Africa.
So you were close on both University of Victoria.
Yeah, that's South Africa.
I'm really good.
Yeah, he named his kids like one is like something weird.
Well, there's like X, A, E, A, I dash X, I, I don't even know what the hell that is.
I appreciate this guy, though, man.
He seems to be despite the fact that he's a billionaire, he seems to be, like you said,
pragmatic and he seems to be well grounded.
I mean, he got on the Joe Rogan show.
Yeah, he's grounded.
Prior to him smoking a doobie in front of the planet.
Yeah, that was weird.
Was mind opening.
The fact that he could do that and he's not getting any shit from anybody.
Where was the where is the studio?
Well, the studio was in California.
So it was.
Yeah, it was legal.
There's nothing wrong with it.
But you know, it's just like it doesn't do it here in Texas.
Does his company drug test him?
I don't know.
Well, this is his company.
Oh, so his company, his HR team does not drug test him since he's the owner of it now.
OK, you can do what you want.
Cool.
That's cool.
How nice is that?
Mr. You're going to know Mr. Rogan.
Mr. Musk, it's time for your random drug test.
Although, this Tesla is publicly traded, so he is not the owner anymore.
So well, but they don't care about drug test.
Yeah, I'm sure if Elon wants to move a joint, he can do it 100 percent.
Although they did fire.
They fired Steve Jobs for what?
Smoking a doobie?
No, for being an asshole, I think.
I like it.
Who fired Steve Jobs?
Apple did.
The board of directors.
Yeah, the board of directors fired Steve Jobs.
Yeah, a lot of people think that the CEO of a public company controls everything.
They don't know what the board of directors do.
Yeah, the CEO reports to the board of directors.
Yes, they do.
And they can dismiss that person.
Yeah, but Elon Musk could just simply open up a new company and guarantee it.
He'll do whatever it is he's going to get.
I mean, he's he's he's just he's a rock star.
Hold on.
Who who was the guy that got kicked out of his own company?
Oh, the pizza guy.
Oh, Papa John.
Papa John, Papa John, Papa Lopolis or whatever his name was.
Well, because he said something racist, right?
That was an ugly situation.
He he was the head dude and made a called all the shots.
Well, it was his business.
He started his business.
And then something happened.
He said something racist.
And then the board of directors booted him and he was like, well, you can't boot me.
And he got ugly.
And he they did.
They did.
Yeah.
So now they what I heard, they changed the name because it was Papa John, post yes.
Now, it's just Papa John, I think the name weird.
Oh, OK.
The apostrophe means possessive.
Correct.
I think he doesn't own it anymore.
You got you guys.
I took the apostrophe.
You guys remember that, right?
It was an ugly deal.
Ex Papa John CEO says it took him two years to get rid of the N word in my vocabulary.
May go.
So he so I wonder if someone like Puff Daddy or who's Beyonce's husband?
Drey?
No, he's he's a billionaire.
What the hell's his name?
Beyonce's husband.
He's the guy that went to the White House.
Yeah, they visited Trump.
Yeah.
You think the N word is in his vocabulary?
Oh, God, no.
He's a rapper.
The church don't use the N word.
If Papa John would have said Jay Z Jay Z.
He's a billionaire.
I mean, he's he's he's smart, smart, and he's businessman and everything.
But he's in that culture.
I don't know if he does or not.
He doesn't his music.
Right.
Well, then that means he uses the M word.
So he should get fired.
Right.
We should fire him.
Who's the board of directors of Jay Z?
He's black.
He's allowed to do it.
That's what I mean.
So Papa John would have used cracker or honky instead.
It would have been OK.
Jeff, we don't say the H word.
What the hell you talking about?
Honky.
You can't say honky.
Is that the same as the N word?
No.
Well, apparently it's cracker the same as the N word.
I don't know.
I'm confused.
I don't give a shit.
I'm really confused.
What are we allowed to say anymore?
If I were drunk, I'd probably say a few things.
But you know, I don't give a shit.
I mean, just the N word is stupid.
And you know what?
It's something for the black people to hold us down.
You can't say that.
And just the power.
Look, it's a horrible thing.
I think you're right.
I think it's just a control thing.
You know, and every time someone says...
We're the only ones that allowed to say that.
What?
No, no.
Oh, we're the only ones?
Yeah, fuck that.
Fuck you.
And you know how I know that's true?
It's because you guys, we talked about this before, that rapper that was singing his song
on stage and he brought his fans up.
He brought a white girl up on the stage.
There were a couple other fans and they were each taking their own, they all got a turn
to sing part of his lyrics.
And then the white girl got up and she was like probably 13, 14.
And she was like, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, N word, blah,
blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.
And he was like, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
And he stopped the press, stopped the concert.
He said, and said, you can't say that.
It's his lyrics.
Yeah.
And she was his fan.
Full bullshit scenario.
Do you think he planned that?
I don't care if he did or not, but back to your point, Sean, I think it's a power trip.
It is.
It's a huge power trip and that shit will not fly with me.
And I'll say it, I won't say it on microphone.
I don't like to use it in my regular day to day conversations.
But if someone comes to me and says, I can't say that because I'm going to say it, and
I'll say it repeatedly to their face.
And not like a knee, knee, knee, knee, knee, knee, you know, not because I'm being racist,
because I'm not going to be held down.
I'm not going to be oppressed.
Right.
Hmm.
Look at you starting to laugh.
You know, on this long trip from Tucson with my brother, I explained the difference between
the N word and the what everybody calls N-I-G-G-A.
Non hard R.
Non hard R. I explained all that to him and he was blown away.
He had no idea.
He lives in a very sheltered world where his kids are incredibly sheltered.
They don't have access to anything.
And I was explaining to him, no, among my boys and their and their friend kind of, to
be honest, outhouse almost almost.
Do they make their own clothes?
No, but they have chickens and they have their own eggs.
They make their own butter.
I don't think they make the butter.
They go to the store and buy organic everything.
Oh, I don't believe in organic.
He hardcore believes in organic.
Do they harvest their own syrup from the trees?
It's funny you say that.
He's probably going to just start doing that.
Yeah.
Anyway, so here's my point.
I would like bees.
I explained to the bees honey.
I would like to have bees when I retire.
You want to be a beekeeper?
Yeah.
What's the correct terminology for that?
I would just have honey.
I love honey.
I think it's just beekeeper.
No, there's there's an official term for it.
What?
Like a beekeeper?
Yeah.
What's the what's the official name for?
Yeah, they're an apiary, apiarist.
What?
Yeah.
You didn't know that?
I knew it.
I couldn't think of it.
No, no, no.
I was going to teach you a new word.
Time out.
Sean.
I'm writing it down.
Sean, hey, Jeff, give us a minute.
Sean and I are going to talk.
He didn't know apiary.
Here's five bucks.
I owe you.
No, he didn't know apiary.
He didn't know the person.
I knew it because it's on Skyrim.
The scientific name of a person that is a beekeeper.
I knew carapace.
An apiary.
Yeah.
Huh.
And supine.
Okay, now you're starting to throw up stuff you didn't know.
You didn't know apiary.
But here's the thing about these beekeepers.
I didn't know apiary.
No, you didn't.
Is that, you know, are you one of these, are you having these feelings like you want to
go and rescue bees like you have these little videos?
No, I just want the honey.
Rescue bees?
I just want the honey.
Well, there's people, you know, they call all the time like, hey, look, I've got a shitload
of bees coming out of my attic or out of my wall or whatever.
And then you get these people that specialize in bee removal and they'll go over there.
They'll remove strategically different areas to gain access to the bees.
They'll find the queen and they'll have like a little birdhouse chest in the back of their
car, truck, wagon.
Apiary.
And they load these little beehive honeycomb looking things inside the little birdhouse
and they'll take the queen and they will transplant the queen bee.
It's not your story.
It's Sean's story.
Into the apiary.
There you go.
Very good.
Transplant it into the apiary.
And then once the queen gets over there, they start to fly all towards the queen bee.
Yeah, they listen to the queen.
I've watched this.
There's a couple of them on the TikTok that are kind of fun to watch.
Oh, God.
I've seen ones where they don't wear anything and they just like take their arms and move
them.
They have a lot of protective gear on it.
So why don't they get stung and they just don't feel it anymore?
Is that the way it works?
The person that I've watched, it's a female, and she was like, these bees are extremely
docile and you could tell by the way they're acting.
And well, they're docile.
I don't know if friendly is the same thing.
They're just, they're calm.
Friendly.
You get a beer.
Hey, buddy, let's go play some tennis.
Hey, guys.
Hey, what's going on?
You guys follow me.
And then you have the other side of it where you get like hornets and stuff like that.
No, they're not friendly.
They're very angry.
Wasps.
Maybe I should be an apricot.
I found a bee on the decking of my pool.
Did you step on it?
No, I didn't.
I actually called the apricot hotline and I was like, yeah, I have a bee that has a
broken wing.
And they said, okay, well, put it in a, I put it in a little pill box.
And I mailed it to him.
And I took it to the apiary.
Aparist.
And they mended his wing.
Did you know that, have you ever been stung by a bee?
I rescued that bee.
Have you ever been stung by a bee, like stepped on them?
I have not been stung by a bee.
I've been stung by a shit tongue when I was younger.
Anyway, did you know why?
Because I walked around barefoot a lot.
And you stepped on bees?
I stepped on them, yeah.
They crawled around on the ground?
I would use these large.
On the clovers.
Yeah, we had a bunch of clovers where I grew up.
I would use these large leaves from the maple trees.
So these large leaves, they were green, they came down.
And not like fall leaves.
They were still green and they didn't fall down.
I think you had a picker or something like that.
I would use them to grab the bumblebees off the flowers because you have the flowers that
grow up in the grass fields.
And the bumblebees would do the hopping.
You grab a big leaf and you grab the bee.
And that was before I figured out that the bees can sting through the leaf.
And I didn't know that.
And I had caught like 10.
I was just going to town.
Oh, you were a pro.
You were an apiary.
That was an aparist.
An aparist.
A rapist.
Did you know that bees, when they sting you, bees die?
Yeah, it's basically because.
Did you know that?
Really?
So how many bees did you kill?
I probably got stung a dozen times growing up.
Did you kill a dozen bees?
Why do they die, Jeff?
Well, because their stinger, this barb that sticks in you, when you pull it out, it pulls
their guts out.
Yeah, but what else?
The reason why they die is because the.
Hold on.
I may be full of shit, but I think the pump that pumps the venom that goes through the
horn is also their heart, but I was thinking, do fucking bees have hearts?
Yeah, they have hearts.
Do they?
I don't know.
They're very.
So they have ganglia.
So the bees, from what I understood, because like you said, when that bees stings you,
it pulls out their literally their heart.
And that's why they die.
And it pumps.
Yeah, it's that pump.
You can see it.
God, you're making it sound so violent.
It doesn't feel good either, just by the way.
Oh, it's painful.
So if you had very carefully removed their barb and not killed the bee.
No, but the bee pulls it out themselves because they're stuck to your.
Well, what about committing suicide?
Correct.
So when they sting you, they commit suicide and they stick and then they walk away from
it.
And it just pulls.
They're like, I'm willing to die to hurt you.
Correct.
Well, that doesn't sound friendly at all.
Yeah.
So but there are others like wasps like wasps could just sting you.
They keep stinging you.
And then they fly away.
And they fly away and they're fine.
Yeah, they don't care.
Those hurt.
They're assholes.
Ten times worse than bees.
You know what's so fun about that whole thing is where you can buy that spray that sprays
like 25 feet.
Oh, yes.
I recommend keeping those in the car.
Dude, it's so intense.
You like, yeah, you and they and they go gung gung gung gung gung gung gung gung.
They drop.
That's pretty satisfying.
They drop and are dead.
I'm like, dude, this is part of every survival kit you need.
Did you see the footage?
It's not the bees, but did you see the footage where there was a flock of like a thousand
birds flying and then they all of them dropped out of the sky?
They got attacked by hornets.
Now, it's wind shear.
A bunch of them died.
Did you see it?
No, I saw the what do they die of?
I thought they was like a gas cloud or something like that.
So they don't know really.
But you see this and it's amazing.
It's this huge blob of black birds and it just drops out of the sky and they slam into
the earth.
No, it's all at once.
Bam.
Boom.
Hit the ground.
Yeah, it was.
It was.
So so I did read something where they can get kind of like whales.
You know how whales beach themselves?
So hold on.
No, no, I read about this.
Hold on.
Now it's coming back to me now.
When a flock of birds are being Mexico's here.
Hold on.
When a what's happening?
Nope.
This is the one I read.
Yeah.
Here's what happens.
That's a boom.
Yeah, here's here's what happens.
And all those dead ones.
I mean, there's probably what when a flock of birds are being pursued by a predator,
they move in formation, right?
And sometimes they get driven, driven to the ground in a group and they knock each other
out.
No, they hit the ground and die.
That's crazy.
Look at that.
They were being pursued by a predator.
How many birds you think they were there?
Yeah.
Five thousand.
Boom.
So yeah, that's what that's exactly what I read about this.
They were being pursued by a predator bird and the birds panicked.
I don't know.
And literally drove them into the ground and a bunch of them died.
Yeah, probably from impact.
Yeah, from impact.
Yeah, just like hitting the window.
You could see, I don't know, 100 laying on the ground.
And that's crazy.
Well, so they're showing a video repeatedly of birds.
That's hard core, man.
Just literally falling.
I mean, no, no, no, they're not falling.
They're flying into the ground in that scenario.
That's different.
Like a huge mass.
Yeah, that is different.
Thousands of them.
Yeah.
And one big, I mean, it's not a, I mean, there they are right there.
There they are.
A bunch of dead birds that committed suicide.
Yeah.
Anyway, it was interesting.
I mean, you see the video just like, what in the hell is going on?
That's the first I've heard of that.
So they had a predator out from.
I thought one of the theories was they flew through a cloud of toxic gas.
That's one of the theories.
That's not a theory.
But like an eagle was after them?
Speaking of toxic gas.
Those corn dogs coming back?
No, somebody got a package in the mail today.
Oh, why would you do?
Why would you buy that?
I don't even buy what you bought.
We were talking last podcast, we were talking about the stupid.
Well, Sean was talking about the stupid stuff he does in the 80s.
And and he he had little vials of potent gas that he would think bombs.
Yeah, they were stink bombs, little shards of glass.
And he would crush it and then be like, OK, have a good day, Miss John Nuss.
What the hell is that?
I don't know.
He called it teacher and then he walked out of the room and and then then the smell would
start over there.
Oh, this is like a blue waffle.
I don't know.
You know, I had my in high school, I had a can of it actually sat on their fart spray.
There's a little aerosol.
What is it?
Ammonia, sulfate?
I don't know.
It's stuck.
It wouldn't necessarily.
So it needs to be in there somewhere.
So for something.
I mean, it didn't necessarily smell like farts.
There it is.
Mine didn't look like that.
Art spray.
There it is.
Joke Shop art spray.
I got it from Spencer's.
Oh, I mean, all it is is I mean, think about it.
Whenever there's a gas leak, what does that smell like?
They deliberately put sulfur in the gas so that you can smell it.
Yeah.
Oh, yeah.
Because gas.
So I bought right about 36 of them.
That's great.
So what what?
Walk us through your plan here of three.
Walk us through your plan.
I don't really have one.
So why the hell do you buy those?
Because you know, it reminded me because I first of all, I haven't seen them since I
lived in Germany, which was an awful long time ago.
So when you were a juvenile punk delinquent, same thing.
And you reminisced and now you want to go be that guy again.
Well, I just nod your head.
I just wanted to get them.
Actually, I wanted to give a few to my brother because we grew up with that stuff.
I thought it was kind of cool and do up with them.
I can take it to work.
I know you're going to walk into a coffee shop.
I don't have a plan.
And you guys are going to giggle outside the front door.
Well, I'm giggling.
Yeah, right.
Sounds like a great idea.
I didn't think about that.
No, no, no, maybe.
I don't know.
You are totally going to do that.
I was just thinking I just got them because I thought it was to me, it was brought back
some memories of being in Germany.
My brother would get a kick out of it.
I'm going to give him a few of the boxes and the boxes, 36 of them.
Well, I tell you what the fart spray that I had, like I said, it was an aerosol.
It was a really small can and it was an aerosol.
And I remember I had it in at lunchtime and during high school and it was just a big cafeteria.
And I did it under the table and it becomes a cloud.
It doesn't disperse.
It moves through the thing because I had some friends on the other side and it hit them
and they came over and they knew I had it.
They were like, did you spray your fart spray?
On the other side of the cafeteria?
They were on the other side of the cafeteria.
That's money well spent right there.
Yeah, it was good stuff.
And I did it one other time.
I did it in one of the...
Jeff does it and he's a fucking hero.
I was 16.
No, no, no.
I didn't say he was a hero.
I just said it was impressive.
I was 16.
Money well spent.
If you want to make a fart smell and it goes to the other side of the cafeteria, then
you got your money's worth.
That's all I'm saying.
And then it came back.
So it was like a cloud that moved.
He's still a juvenile delinquent.
I was 16.
I wasn't 52.
I had done it in the middle of a basketball court outside and it cleared it.
Excellent point, Jeff.
So anyway, I did it once in class.
You're still 16.
No.
Yeah, exactly.
Mentally we all are.
16 is a stretch.
I would say you're about seven or eight.
Maybe 10 tops.
I think we all are.
Admit it.
I know I am.
I'm not.
I can't wait to break one.
I don't even know where I'm going to do it.
It's going to be funny as shit.
Don't do it at my house.
Ah, shit.
Why'd I say that?
Mother effer.
Anyway, I remember I did it once in class.
I'll test it.
I'll see how long it takes to dissipate.
I did it in class and it was, I think I was a senior or junior in high school.
Each of us had our own table.
It was a science class.
We had the big black slate tables.
That's where you work on toads.
So we each had our own table.
I was at the back of the room.
The windows were open.
Was it like an aerosol or just pump?
It was an aerosol.
It was like, shh, then I could spray.
Like a little hairspray thing.
It was like hairspray.
I got the center ones, the ones with little glass files.
No, mine was an aerosol.
You guys are a mess.
Anyway, keep going.
I was at the back of the room and I did under the table.
Just shh.
There was a girl in front of me and I stuck it back into my sock or wherever I had it
because it wasn't a real big can.
Five seconds later, she stands up because the windows were open.
We didn't have air conditioning in this school.
So it was in the springtime, I think, and the windows were open.
I did this.
She gets up and she didn't know where it was coming from.
She was just like, there's something horrible smelling in your room.
The guy's name was Mr. Swalins.
He was a science teacher.
How do you keep a straight face?
They're going, oh, my God.
So anyway, it started making its way around the room and everyone else was getting it.
Everyone else started throwing a fit and it hit the teacher and he's like, what's going
on?
Him and another science teacher were always playing pranks on each other.
You had an out.
I did.
He thought it was the other teacher.
He's like, damn that Mr. Schaefer.
He had us all scouring that room because he was one of the teachers he taught botanists
who had a lot of hanging plants.
He's like, look at all of the plants.
We're climbing on the tables looking at all the plants and everything.
You had a total out.
And here I am just laughing my ass off.
He blamed the other science teacher for this, but it stopped down the entire class for the
rest of the time we were searching for the stench.
Wow, that's a long time.
So was it like 15 minutes?
No, it was an hour class.
So I probably did it halfway through.
He was just up there lecturing and I was just like.
So nobody had to be careful at it?
No.
It was like a warfare.
It didn't smell like a fart.
It just stunk.
It didn't smell like a fart.
Like an egg?
No, it wasn't necessarily that.
It was just bad.
It was just a bad smell.
That was the total, what do you call it?
Not crime free.
You know, when you commit something and like you totally.
I think my friend dared me or something like that.
Or I was trying to because he was in the class with me and my friend, my friend Sushi, and
he knew I had it.
Sushi.
And he was looking at me like.
Hold on.
He's an asshole.
What do you mean sushi?
Right?
Yeah.
Is your friend Asian?
He's half Japanese.
So he's Asian.
And you're still friends with this guy.
I am, yeah.
Sushi.
That is awesome.
Yeah, I just texted with him today.
So how old were you when you did the stink bomb?
I was in high school.
So 16, 17.
And you're still buds.
I love that.
I knew him since.
I love that.
Oh, they send racist stuff back and forth all the time.
Absolutely.
Well, we do.
I met him when I was.
He knew by him ire.
First grade.
Yeah, for sure.
How old were you in first grade?
I was six.
That's when I met him.
Damn, that's hardcore.
I think he's a little bit of a
Yeah.
I had no I have no friends from.
I believe that.
Six.
I wasn't done.
I'm sorry, what?
No, I wasn't done.
I do have friends.
Oh.
Just not from first grade.
Dudes are Gus.
All right.
Last time he came down here was from my 40th.
So that was 12 years ago.
That's awesome.
He did come down.
Yeah, he did.
You should invite him again.
I think this time it'll be better.
I think he has problems flying.
Yeah.
I drive the Greyhound bus.
Could you get him a special ticket?
I don't work there anymore.
You've got a little pull there.
I can say that now.
I know, that's why I sent you the text that says he's a non-working MFer.
I'm in between jobs at the moment.
That's right. It feels good right now, right?
It does feel good. We're doing projects at home, relaxing with the wife, and waking up whenever we want to,
but we're getting after it, I'm telling you.
Every morning we're like, okay, we'll get this done and get that done, and it's kind of fun.
It feels good.
Yeah, it's been a fun week so far, and it's only Tuesday.
Back to the grind on Monday, though.
Well, I'm starting a new job. I'm excited. I really am.
Billable hours.
I tell you what, I'm a little worried though, because I've been working on this project where we're framing out the windows
and doing all this woodworking, and I bought a miter saw, and I bought a, what do you call it?
Not a nail gun, a...
A nail gun? A stapler?
Brad gun?
Brad. A Brad gun.
Yeah, Brad. Why is it called Brad gun?
He invented it.
Well, it's Bradley.
Oh, Brad did? Brad invented the gun?
It's a Bradley gun.
Anyway, I brought the Brad gun.
Bradley's a name brand.
Oh, I love it. I love it. Oh my God, it makes the project so much easier.
Is it battery powered?
It is.
Well, that's why I got it. I got the Craftsman drill, so I bought the Brad gun that had used the same battery.
Anyway, so we're doing this project, and I'm not the greatest woodworker, right?
So I'm an engineer, but I'm not a woodworker. There's differences there.
You're a computer engineer. That's different.
That is different. It is different. But at the same time, you know, I'm like calculating and measuring and, you know, doing all this kind of stuff.
Well, then I get to the window that has angles, like where you have to cut the ends of the boards at certain angles where they meet up.
Compound miters.
Oh my God. Oh my God, kick my ass.
Did you figure it out?
Well, yeah, I did. But I felt like I'm like I literally walked in from the garage and my wife was like painting.
I was like, I am college educated, right? I mean, seriously, I was like, I mean, what the fuck? Why can I not? I had to build models of I took little boards.
So I have a 15 degree angle here.
The opposite of that.
What?
Yes, 100 percent. And I created little models of short little scrap wood to see how they lined up and shit. I felt like the biggest idiot.
I was like, I can't get this to work. Anyway, I got it to work today. But it was painful. Very painful.
I give so much credit to people that like just look, you know, I mean, they just walk up and they go, yeah, yeah, OK, yeah, yeah.
And they go out to the shop and they're like, and they walk up and they go, they put it on the board.
You know, I'm just like, that's not me.
That's to do for a living, though. They're experts.
That's true. That is true.
You did it every day. You could probably do that.
I'm just saying I give them super credit, tons of credit.
Well, there's a lot of technique to it.
Well, there is.
Do you use any caulk?
Oh, tons of caulk. Well, caulk is your friend.
Tons of caulk.
Oh, white caulk.
Is that what you said?
Caulk is your friend.
Yeah.
Tons of it.
Caulk.
Caulk is your friend.
Yeah, make sure you say that L.
Because I don't feel like caulk is not my friend.
You guys already paint it?
Caulk is my friend.
You guys already paint it?
Yes.
Well, good deal.
So it's nice and...
Is it white?
It's white.
Oh.
White comes out everywhere from that tube.
Interesting.
From the caulk.
From the caulk tube.
The caulk.
Caulk tube.
You could come up with a different name than that.
You sick bastards.
Why would they come up with that name?
Yeah, no shit. Why would they make it...
That's sealant.
Well, it's C-A-U-L-B-E.
Well, I know, but how do you say it?
Unless you like caulk.
Caulk.
How do you say shawl?
Shawl.
Caulk.
So when I say to my wife, go ahead and caulk that.
She's like, hmm.
And she's like, oh honey, you and I are going to the bedroom right now.
Oh.
No, no, honey, I said caulk.
Honey, stop, stop, get off me.
Bring me...
Damn it.
Ouch.
Ouch, you're hurting me.
That's aggressive.
Give me that pillow.
You bent it.
You...
What?
You bent it?
Is that what you said?
What, the pillow?
What is he saying?
Pillow?
Thank God the music's playing because this...
You talking about the poor dog?
Could be.
I went in sideways.
You a cock?
Yeah, that's probably why your stomach was upset.
Okay.
Dudes, I guess, first half, we are in Montmartre.
We went wheels off.
That was awful.
Awful.
And I'm...
Can I...
What?
I'm going to give this to our viewers, our viewer, our listener.
Yeah, we went wheels off.
All right, sorry, go ahead.
You are?
Taylor's going to sleep over there.
What's your name?
I'm...
I don't know.
I was trying to think what kind of...
I'm Dynamo.
You're what?
Dynamo.
Oh, I'm Jeff.
Both of them.
Yeah.
Jackass.
All right, we'll see you.