because it was excessive.
Have you watched Ted Lasso? No.
Okay, then I won't say. Yeah, I haven't watched it yet.
What I was going to say is the
Game of Thrones shame nun.
She is the big blonde broad in
Ted Lasso. She looks quite different in Ted Lasso.
You know, we need to talk about new shows. My wife and I have been watching
some new shows that hold on that we haven't.
Before you dive into the new shows you come up with.
This bitch Ted Lasso show and who's the big bitch?
Is it Hannah Waddington? Yes.
Are you talking about Breanne?
She plays Rebecca on Ted Lasso.
Yeah, she's she's tall.
I think she looks tall.
You're not talking about Breanne or whatever name.
She's a big bitch, man. Breanne.
She's the Breanna Tart.
Like the she's like mammoth huge.
Yeah, no, not Brianna Tart from Game of Thrones.
She was the one who not that was saying shame.
She was the one that was like like Jeff said, in the nun's outfit and the
the blonde chick, the sursey had to walk naked.
She had a sister.
She had shit food.
And people were like throwing feces on her.
And so last night's chicken dumpling soup or the nun.
The nun dudes are taking turns whacking off on her. Wow.
They were. Yeah, they were.
Who was the guys in the?
And they weren't. Yeah, they were pleasure in themselves.
And they were not flying feces.
Some guys get junk out.
No, we did not.
You need to go back and rewatch it.
No, I watched I read the books. So do I.
And trust me, those were very nice.
Hannah Waddingham.
I she's the she's that big woman she played in.
And why are we going here?
I don't know, because you said shame, shame, shame, shame, shame, shame.
That was her.
Anyway, she is a big woman and she's a beautiful big woman.
But she's also a singer.
I literally have no idea who you're talking about.
Well, she's on the screen here.
Yeah, well, that's a little tiny screen that that, you know,
because we don't have all the Hannah Waddingham.
Yeah, that's cool.
Well, anyway, so she played on she played on several different things.
Let me humor you.
Ted Lasso was one of there.
She is. You're saying she was the nun in Game of Thrones.
Yeah, she's well, she's very judicious.
Yeah, she is. And she's interesting.
She's born in 74, so that makes her worthy.
That makes your wife, I think, right?
Now, she's the same.
Well, let me see. My wife was born in 74 as well.
So she is. Oh, she's 511.
Forty six, forty seven.
Yeah, she's a year younger than my wife.
She's not that she's not that tall.
I mean, she's just as tall as I am, but she's a little bit shorter.
She's not that tall. She's as tall as I am, but a little shorter.
Same height as P Sessions.
That was so weird.
And we say that a lot, but it was such a weird.
I haven't seen that again.
I'm not talking about somebody's height.
I bring it up because it was the strangest thing I've ever seen.
What we're talking about is that we were we were looking at
some random actress.
It doesn't matter who it was.
We were looking at the height of an actress.
Random person in Wikipedia or it was
it was Google.
No, it was Google.
And it it's shared how tall they were in a little factoid
note on the side.
Same size as Peter Sessions.
And it was a woman we were looking up.
Yeah. And I'm like, why would you share that?
I don't get it.
I want to find that podcast because we we lacked our asses off.
It was just so random.
I've never seen a random ever.
And I don't think we've seen it since that.
It was great. It was great.
It was really funny. OK.
Anyway, there was something I was well, what's new TV shows?
Well, TV shows. What are we drinking?
Oh, yeah. Oh, you're drinking a beer.
Had a new Chattanooga whiskey.
No, dude, I got the first beer.
I got the beer from our first half.
That's gross. It's still cold.
It's not. It is not cold.
It's in my bearded butcher blend.
See, did you see that they're going to be on Tucker Carlson?
Are they? Yeah.
The butchers, the bearded butchers are going to be on Tucker Carlson.
Because you're going to be doing you met them because I met them
when they were still just dudes.
Did you hug them? Yes.
Were they like half hug man hug or kind of full on
a bear hug? Yeah. Thrust.
Full on bear hug thrust. Wow.
OK, I didn't anticipate they were they were in the back.
They were in your back.
I didn't get to meet them.
They were in the back because there was a big one was in the back.
Yes. So there was a big window testing you in their strength.
They're they're butcher area, right?
Yeah. They were working back there.
So it's called the cuttileum.
Not the Whack-a-Torum.
No, where they cut the cuttileum.
All right. Sounds very sexual.
No, it's the place where they cut.
You guys don't know that.
What are you stupid?
I don't believe that. I believe it's called the cut floor.
Shame. We need that little sound bite.
No, we don't. Ding, ding, ding, ding.
Shame. And then a fart.
We really don't at all.
That's cool. Look at those guys.
Look at those beards. That's what you're trying to do, Sean.
You're trying to make your beard worthy of their beards.
You know, I was.
You got to get rid of that thing.
I'm I'm going to get rid of it.
I'm just I'm letting it grow.
You said that a month ago. You did.
You know what? I don't give a fuck.
That's where I'm at right now.
If you lose your car keys, I would check in there.
Yeah, like Peter Griffin.
Don't give a fuck. Don't give a fuck.
Don't give a fuck. The family guy.
Family guy. He grew a beard and they're like birds
living in it like a nest.
I've never watched Family Guy, but it sounds funny.
Oh, it is. I haven't watched it a long time.
I've never seen it. Oh, my God.
I know. Dude, you've got we got to watch something from Peter.
Didn't you show me a clip of Family Guy
where they're all killing each other in like the cafeteria or something?
Yes. Yeah, that was that was that was over the top.
Yeah, it was. But that's what the show is about.
They talk about all kinds of crazy shit.
So maybe we ought to type in like something like.
No, I'll tell you what.
I haven't laughed as hard when I watched this clip.
I watched it with Julie downstairs and I laughed so hard.
It may you may not do it to you guys, but it's so search.
Family Guy, it the CAC.
Epic, CAC, epic, CAC.
How do you spell that?
I had the cat.
I know I P it the CAC that right there.
What is that?
Oh, that's right. It's a medicine that you take when medicine.
It makes you want to.
They I just I do. I just drink something.
All right. Watch. It's a contest.
Well, it's it's a contest.
It's not. But anyway, I watched this.
I was watching it live on TV and Julia was sitting there with me.
Guys, I got eight crates of epic.
CAC from Mort, all on my tab.
Now, whoever goes the longest without puking gets the last piece of pie in the fridge.
OK, here we go.
How's everybody doing?
Good. Good so far.
All right. All right.
Nothing yet. Cool. Cool.
You know, I don't know if you guys had any of that pie already, but that is
that is some tasty stuff that's from the bake sale that Lois would.
Yeah. Oh, one down.
I know somebody who won't be having any.
I'm starting to feel funny.
Well, I feel fine. I guess I'm going to.
Oh, boy. That means I win.
I get. Oh, God.
Why did anybody tell you?
Oh, my God. My insides are on.
No, please. No more. No more.
Oh, my God.
I'm scared.
This is embarrassing.
Get the phone. Call 911.
Lois, Lois, Lois, get in here.
OK. OK.
I think it's all gone.
I think. I don't want to.
I don't want to.
Peter, Peter, I need to know how to destroy.
Oh, man.
So this is family guy in a nutshell.
Who wants chowder?
I don't know. It hit me the right way.
And I laughed so hard, the kind where you can't breathe and no sounds coming out.
Oh, my gosh. About 10 years ago.
I thought it was funny.
There are so many feeling I has like plus family guy has a lot of crying.
I'm crying a lot. They tie in like you've never seen.
So I do get to get to you.
Don't know who that is. No, no.
Quagmire. Yeah, we don't have to do Quagmire, but there are so many crazy
scenarios with Peter Griffin.
He's this. But the thing I like about family guy is he makes one of everyone.
Yeah. See, that's that's good.
You know, he does.
Well, yeah, the producers put some money to do that for a reason.
Housekeeping.
No, yeah, we get we get sucked into watching clips of family guy
for the rest of the podcast.
So no, let's not let's not do that.
It sounds like we're doing that.
Go away. I come in anyway.
Yeah. Oh, my God.
I said no. OK, I clean.
No, get out of here.
So this is this is basically it goes all over the place.
It's not like Homer Simpson.
It's it's just I mean, he does sex changes.
He loses all this weight and so they make fun of bellices.
So make a new body.
They make fun of everything.
I mean, it's just that's what I again, it's been a long time.
It's been on for a very long time.
It actually got it was on Fox and it got canceled.
Really? Yeah. And it was off for a couple of years.
Well, but it got canceled for a reason.
It got canceled over some political shit, I think.
Oh, I don't know.
Oh, I don't know. They compare Valerie Jarrett to the plant of the ape.
No, no, but they they but they they it's similar to the
oh, my gosh, what is the cartoon they have with a little
Kevin Kenny that dies South Park.
It's similar to that a little bit.
They cancel it because of that.
Then all of a sudden they came out with
when the Cartoon Network picked up
and they did the Star Wars
Family Guy. Oh, yeah.
And that was hilarious.
Star Wars Family Guy.
They got a Star Wars Family Guy where they're all Star Wars characters.
And so that was that was Family Guy creators comeback.
What because they are canceled.
Well, I don't know if that was the that was the catalyst that that
that was super popular and then they just revived it.
Oh, my God. Yes.
It I'm telling you, man, it's I recommend it.
I mean, there's hundreds of episodes you could watch and you don't
know if you could watch them in any way.
They're absolutely all stupid. Yeah, they are.
Well, I love it. But but but that's kind of like SpongeBob.
Again, I know. I mean, it's doing as Darth Vader.
And he kind of reminds me of
what is it? Is it a Woody Allen version?
What is the May the Force be with you?
It's a smell.
Brooks, Mel Brooks.
And it was baseball's baseball.
So you go in the force.
Be with you. That was a great show.
What's your name?
Or Swartz? More was it that Rick Moranis says I see your
arm once is as big as mine.
Swartz, Schwartz, Schwartz, the Schwartz.
Schwartz. Yeah.
That's that Mel Brooks.
I don't know if he may be dead.
Baseball was a funny show.
Yeah, I liked it.
Yeah. Well, it was back in the C3PO was.
God damn it.
It's why we have to do research first.
I know. Right.
What's that? Yeah, but we're all over the place.
He died and she was a
Joan Rivers, Joan Rivers, Joan Rivers.
Whatever. It was just funny.
It was it was a lot of baseball.
And the other dude that died is who played Chewbacca.
The big fat dude, John Candy, John Candy, John Candy.
Oh, yeah, he died.
Yeah, that was sad.
Oh, yeah, there he is.
He's fat.
You know, the guy that plays Hans Solo is the guy, the president.
So I've looked up on in stop, stop, stop, stop, stop. Correct.
What did you say?
The guy that plays and solo
no lone star.
I know, but that's not a character.
His name is what?
Hansel. OK, what's his first name?
Han Solo. OK, thank you.
Oh, good Lord. Really?
Dude, sir. Really?
Oh, look, my friend, whose name is Paul.
Oh, am I saying it wrong?
That's Paul in Spanish.
This is on Spanish.
OK, I'm sorry.
He's Danish.
Horn, so there you go.
Roar, Horn Solo.
Right. Well, the guy that played on solo is also the president
in Independence Day.
But Harrison Ford?
No, the guy in that movie.
Spaceball Bill Pullman, Neil Pullman.
Yeah, Rick Moranis was dark.
Bill Bill Pullman is the president of Independence Day.
Oh, he gives a great speech, too, right?
I don't remember.
He's actually been in a lot of stuff.
I've been surprised.
I thought he was kind of like a B rate actor.
He is. But no, I mean, he's
I think he's stuck around, man.
I think he's creeping into, to, you know, lower echelon of a
like a Tom Cruise.
No, Tom Cruise is a plus plus.
Did you hear what he he's filming a movie in South Africa right now?
What about what about Al Brooks?
No, Tom Cruise is and he flies his own helicopter.
I guess he's a helicopter pilot.
Oh, and so he where he that's how he's going to die.
He has like some estate that he's doing in sprawling estate.
Yeah, some some air B.M.B.
Yeah, some air B.M.B. that he's doing.
But but he when he's done filming, he flies his helicopter over
and he lands and all the people are like very like
they're just humble, modest people.
And they're like, oh, Tom Cruise is here. No.
He just yes, yes.
They are part of the filming, but it's real.
All their little plays, the paper cups are flying everywhere.
They got a picnic set up with paper tablecloths and everything's
going up and spinning and the whole Sunday brunch is over
because he flies 10 feet off the ground because he's that awesome.
No, they're like they're they're so stoked that he's there.
And he's super gracious and super friendly.
And he lands his helicopter and he waves and he smiles
and says hi to all the people.
And they're like, oh, my God, we have the ultra celebrity
in our little town.
I got a hand is Tom, but he flies his own helicopter.
And John Travolta has his own.
Fuck that. I couldn't stand
Tom Cruise Tom Cruise for a while.
I mean, after his little episode episodes.
But you know what? He he he's he's the real deal.
He's working on me.
And he does his own fucking stunts.
So what? I think that's bad ass.
He broke his foot.
Here's the thing.
Do you if you were rich? No, no, no.
Yes, that's my point.
If you are worth what he's worth
and you were pompous and this and that,
you wouldn't do your own stunts.
He may be a pimp.
Asshole. No, we really don't know.
Well, I don't know.
Yeah, but if you can do this, I said, who cares?
I texted him and he's he's a friendly guy.
He's in your favorites.
He's in my Tom babes.
His faves babes. Really?
You didn't have to put his last use, but Tom, Tom.
Is he even going out with anybody right now?
I call him T-Man. T-Man. T-Boss.
I heard he was gay.
He's not gay. He's bi.
Oh, so he likes. Well, whatever.
To be a tranny.
I don't think he's a tranny.
Yeah, I think that ship sailed.
But he he definitely is bi.
He's not bi. Why do you say that?
You're the one that said that.
I was kidding. Oh.
What do you think he's bi? He's not bi.
Well, that's what that's what the feedback says.
You know, no, that's what his ex-wife said.
That's a lie.
Well, she she said she had a strap on it.
You know what that's called?
That's called misinformation.
Is it what he's doing right now is called misinformation.
I thought that was gas.
And we could get canceled because that's what Joe Rogan.
Joe Rogan said misinformation.
Really? Really?
I don't know. That's what his ex-wife said.
What's her name? I don't know.
Mimi Rogers.
We talked about her when my father-in-law
was on the podcast.
Mimi Rogers? No.
Katie Holmes.
So all the.
Katie Holmes.
You know Tom Cruise has a lot of money
when he can force Google to produce.
Well, he was married to the Redheads.
Literature or narrative.
Nicole Kidman. Nicole Kidman?
Tom Cruise was?
They were married as well, yes.
Damn, he married everybody, didn't he?
All of them. She's pretty.
Nicole Kidman? Yeah.
What was the movie Eyes Wide Shut?
Never saw it.
He was. I've never seen it either.
It was sexy.
Was she nude?
I don't think so.
Very sexy though.
But it was that kind of movie where,
what do you call it, masquerade ball or whatever?
They all had masks and everybody was naked
and there was like a whole room full of people
having sex all over the place.
Did you just pick someone to have sex with?
I don't remember why.
I don't remember the premise of the movie.
I just remember that scene where all these people
were having sex with masks on, which is retarded
because there's the masks aren't,
you know exactly who it is.
Oh, so you could see through it?
Yeah, I mean, that's what, that's the way it is.
I mean like it.
Well, you just lift it up a little bit.
No, you can tell.
No, this isn't a Christmas cabin.
Like they're making gingerbread house.
You can tell who the people are
with these little masks that they wear.
And you're cheating.
You know what I'm talking about?
I mean, when they have a masquerade ball,
they wear these little, these.
Oh, so it had eye holes?
Right.
I mean, like that.
Tell me you don't know who that is.
Of course you know who that is.
That's Tom Cruise.
That's screwing you in this sex masquerade party.
Well, I don't know.
I mean, some of them are, got all these.
The black one right there.
You don't know who that is.
Hold on, isn't that the premise of those things?
You don't want to know who you're having sex with?
Well.
That's what makes it kind of intriguing.
Well then you were.
I don't know, I've never been to one.
I've never been to one either.
Why are you even.
Let's have one.
Because that's eyes wide shut.
That's what they were doing.
I don't want to have one.
You just scared me.
What'd you say?
I said let's have one.
Let's all.
I need an adult.
With a very small audience, it's like,
okay, that could either be.
You and like one other person, your wife.
Who is it?
If it's not my wife, it's gotta be the other woman, right?
That's awful.
I'm like, Shelley, let's do this.
It's you and me.
We don't know who it is.
What a horrible idea.
Well, yeah, I think the premise back then
with the masquerade is.
Were they trying to hide their identities?
Because it's not working with those masks.
I don't know.
And then they were trying to find the one.
I think that kind of died out in like the 1700s, didn't it?
Well, yeah, because everybody got syphilis.
And chlamydia.
There was an outbreak of syphilis.
And the majority of those people died, didn't they?
And blue waffle?
Blue waffle, that was a.
Walk me through blue waffle.
I'm sorry, I'm not familiar with.
Is that a sexual thing?
What the hell is blue waffle?
I don't know if we want to know about this.
I don't know either.
Jeff is laughing already.
So, all right, bring us up a picture of Blue Waffle.
Is it some sort of vaginal warts?
I don't know what it is.
Vaginal warts or vaginal rash?
It is a, well, obviously our Mr. Producer
knows what it is.
Oh, because he doesn't want to see Blue Waffle.
Okay, we're going with a no.
We're going with a no on the Blue Waffle.
I say that balls of Blue Waffle do it.
No, no, Mr. Producer is shutting us down on this one.
This is the first.
You have a computer. By the way, this is the first.
We've been censored by our own producer.
Right.
I'ma type it in.
Wow, this is the first.
Blue W-A-F-F.
Blue Waffle.
Blue Waffle food?
No, why are we doing this?
It's not food. It's obviously something awful.
What was the point?
Hold on, we were on Tom Cruise.
Is this like an image?
I see a Blue Waffle.
Oh, you must have censored it.
It's literally a blueberry waffle.
So, is this referring to,
is this synonymous for something?
Well, you probably have the, what do you call it?
The filter.
You have Safe Search on.
Safe Search, thank you.
Damn, how do I get rid of that?
You came up with that quick.
I know.
Because you typically turn it off?
No, I always check to make sure when the boys are on that,
I make sure it was Safe Search.
Isn't that frustrating?
Even when it's on, do you remember when we were like,
I mean, they would be like eight years old,
or like six years old and be working on a project,
and they needed some sort of image,
and you like put in a, you know,
I think the project we were on was smelly vagina,
or something like that.
Put STD.
And we put that into the soo-
You didn't hear me.
Yeah, you did, stinky vagina.
I heard you fine.
And I couldn't believe what the pictures that came up.
I mean, it was such an innocent school project.
I don't see anything about Blue Waffle.
Okay, stop with the Blue Waffle thing, move on.
But you guys were like the ones wanting to find it.
No, I didn't want to see anything about Blue Waffle.
Oh, here, hold on, hold on.
Whoa.
You nasty, nasty people.
Okay, so there's the word prom.
Who's controlling the computer?
Shut them down.
That's not me, that's our producer.
Okay, well, I don't know what it is, but-
That was swollen.
You know what, I'm done.
Yeah.
I'm about to hurl.
Your son is much more robust at his search than you are.
Wow.
Are you proud of that?
Yeah, no kidding.
You came up with-
With Waxwell Waffles.
He came up with Waxwell Waffles.
Yeah, we were thinking IHOP menu items,
and he came up with some sort of swollen-
I don't know what it was.
That's a God-blessing disaster.
It was, but you know what, we tried to stop you, you idiot.
They even warned us.
I didn't pull anything up.
He warned us.
So, back to the camping as a kid.
We never started.
Yeah, we never went to camping as a kid.
We talked about Tom Cruise flying his own helicopter.
Fuck Tom Cruise.
So, look how-
Have you watched Oblivion yet?
Oh my God, it's so good.
I watched it again.
I don't know.
When I was sick, I sat and watched it.
Are you kidding me?
You watched it again?
I haven't even seen it.
What is Oblivion?
I've seen it at least two or three times.
It's amazing.
Is it that good?
It's an A-plus movie.
God bless it.
I don't give A-pluses very often.
I mean, he plays the same character a lot in his movies.
Yeah, but it's so good.
But it's an interesting movie, interesting concept.
Agreed.
And Edge of Tomorrow, A-plus movie.
They're making a part two.
Are they really?
Yeah.
She's badass.
What's the girl's name in that?
Emma, something.
Thurman?
No.
No, who is that?
I don't know who it is.
She's awesome.
She's super cool.
Edge of Tomorrow, the girl.
Yeah, they're making a part two of that, a sequel.
A sequel?
Yes.
Very nice.
Emily Blunt.
What else is she in?
Because she's a badass, man.
That was a good movie.
Oh, that was Bill Paxton.
That was where it kept repeating itself
because the alien had some sort of-
Amazing.
Had to reset.
Yeah, had a little, and that's how they were winning.
Right.
They kept resetting because they learned all the shit.
Right.
So good.
She was in Jungle Cruise and Mary Poppins.
Mary Poppins, okay.
Jungle Cruise.
Oh, Quiet Place.
Have you seen The Quiet Place?
No, I don't think so.
Click on that real quick.
The first one-
With Evelyn Abel.
Quiet Place, yeah.
The first one is better than the second one.
Oh, there's two of them.
Yeah.
Well, shit, I definitely know I haven't seen that.
The first one's better than the second one.
It's basically there's-
Is it a horror?
There's aliens and you can't make any sounds.
Oh.
Otherwise, because they'll find you
and then rip you apart.
Oh, and this guy, John Krasinski.
Yeah, he was-
The dude from The Office.
Yeah.
Okay, I need to remember that.
The Quiet Place.
And they made two of them.
Yeah.
Wow.
That is crazy.
Imagine yourself, I mean, just put yourself
in this position where you're somewhere
and you need to be quiet and your family has to be quiet.
I mean, the babies are gone, so you know.
Right.
They're gonna be like-
No, she has a baby.
Wow.
Oh, you can't keep a baby quiet.
Give me a break.
That's the second one, that's the challenge.
Oh yeah, and the baby dies.
It has to.
I'm not saying anything, I'm not gonna ruin it.
Of course the baby.
I mean, the baby doesn't die because all of a sudden
the magical shit happens, you know?
Right, I got you.
You got your kids of dope or something.
But you know, there's no food.
There's nothing, so the kid's hungry all the time.
And they keep making it annoying.
You might as well let the kid die.
Right.
It sounds like a horrible movie.
Yeah, it does, but I mean,
but you're telling me you've seen both?
I've seen both of them.
The first one's better than the second,
but the second one's still decent.
Where, did you see them, like, in a movie theater?
Uh, no.
I mean, where'd you see them?
I have my ways.
Oh yeah, you and your illegal stuff.
I tell you what, we're talking about going back in time.
I've, we've been talking about watching Breaking Bad,
and I have finally started watching Breaking Bad.
I am on the last season, halfway through it.
I've got probably the four or five episodes left.
When did you start it?
Like Friday?
Yeah.
Did you hear what the main actor did recently?
What, the father of?
What, Cranston?
Yeah, the main guy.
He realized the error of his ways
and how whiteness has infected him, and.
What?
Oh yeah.
He had a major, he had a major white, whiteness.
White guilt?
White guilt moment.
That's unfortunate.
I don't think that's white guilt.
I think that's. I don't know what it is, but.
Being wealthy guilt.
See, now you can't watch it.
No, I've already.
You didn't watch Tom Cruise stuff, for stupid stuff,
so now you can't watch this.
No, I'm gonna watch it.
You can't finish it.
I'm gonna finish it because I'm invested in this.
And you know, I've seen everything up to.
No, it was a good program.
I've seen right, well, where's his brother-in-law,
Hank Schrader, Dean Norris, was,
just found out that, you know,
he was taking a dump on his toilet.
He picks up the book, the little book
that was on the back of the toilet,
and it's got some handwritten note
from one of the cooks, his assistant, you know,
and he had his little initials in their GB,
because that was just part of the story.
So they just connected the two,
and all of a sudden he was kind of like,
oh my God, you're him.
And he just became super angry, punched him in the face,
you know, put a tracker on the car, and it just, you know.
And you're talking about Breaking Bad.
What he couldn't prove.
Breaking Bad.
Well, I mean, at the time of the show,
I mean, he was kind of like, well, you know,
look, I've got cancer.
You know, by the time I'm,
by the time this goes to court, I'll be dead.
I don't give a fuck.
Yeah, that was his whole point.
He was a chemistry teacher.
And then it was like a false positive or something, right?
Where it went into remission or something.
Oh, I didn't.
So, okay, so we watched.
Spoiler alert.
We watched the first episode, Shelly and I,
and I guess in the very first episode,
he has to cut up a body, and he puts it in a tub.
And it falls through.
And the tub falls through the ceiling.
That's a great scene.
Yeah, well, that was it.
That was the worst part of the whole show.
And we never watched it again.
No, no, you need to pick it up,
because that really, you don't see much of that.
Although you do see some guy get his face blown off.
I'm just saying that was the end of that show for us.
Because of you?
That was the worst part about it.
No, because of my wife.
She said, I'm not watching it.
Tell her to pick up episode two.
That was the, that was the worst part
about the whole thing was that,
because they were sifting through the meat and shit.
There was like, they pulled out a mandible,
and it was just like.
Yeah, you don't really get into that again.
Okay, well, maybe I need to.
Just like Game of Thrones.
My wife shut that down the first time
I tried to watch it with her
because the brother and sister were screwing.
She's like, yeah, I'm out, I'm done.
What's wrong with that?
That's bad ass.
Well, so she was done for about,
it took her about four years for me
to talk her back into it.
And we skipped that first episode.
I was like, all right, you've seen the first one.
You know what happens.
We're gonna start on two.
And you don't really see, I mean, it happens again,
but it's later in and she's already invested
at that point, right?
Right, there you go.
They have to be invested.
Dudes like us that have watched Breaking Bad,
I mean, it's funny for me, you have the,
I'm gonna say the two main characters,
Bryan Cranston and Aaron Paul.
It's basically Walter White, WW, and Jesse Pinkman.
So Walter, those two,
in almost every single one of their scenes,
they're always, there's always arguing.
They're constantly bickering at each other.
The whole God bless the movie is just non-frickin' stop.
That's great.
And it really, I mean, I'm telling you,
I've only got like four or five episodes left
and I can't wait to watch it.
So it was only on for five years?
This went off the air almost 10 years ago
and you're just now watching it.
Well, I haven't seen any, yeah, I haven't seen any of it.
I've always wanted to watch it.
I recommend it, it's good.
Well, obviously he dies at the end,
but I was reading a little bit about it
and it just sounds like there's a lot of stuff going on.
Did you just say he dies at the end?
Well, he's got cancer.
I thought he said it went into remission
and it was a false positive.
Well, now there's no point in watching it.
Well, I mean, I haven't seen it.
Well, that was the dilemma, right?
So he had the cancer and that's why he went through it all
and then it comes back that he doesn't
either really has cancer or it goes away.
For all of our listeners that were wanting,
planning on watching it,
there's no point because in the very final episode
he dies of cancer.
There's nothing really sexual about it either.
There's no sex in it, is there?
Would you say sexual?
I did, I said, because usually with some of these shows
there's some sort of sex kind of lure.
Oh yeah, they keep you going with boobies and stuff.
Oh yeah, I gotta throw a boobie here and every now and then.
None of that is in there.
Actually, that's not true.
They have one show and it was the one my wife watched.
Okay, yeah, which episode was that?
And they're in a strip club.
And you get all these women with pasties on.
Let me write this down.
And it's just like, all right, well.
Did it do anything for your wife?
No, but it was just so happy.
Well, I mean she just.
Or she's just like, really?
You're watching this?
She just got that, yeah, look at you.
You were just watching, you were just like, wow.
You know what, that brings up an interesting question.
You know how there are some wives or some girlfriends
that go with their significant other two strip clubs?
I could see my wife doing that.
Really?
I could not do that, but.
Well, my wife and I went to a booby club.
Really?
And because she was shopping for booby sizes.
And we were, she, not me, because I don't care.
I think, I mean, I don't.
You're happy with your booby size?
I'm happy not dropping 5, 10 grand.
Mine are a little big right now.
You guys are both.
Well.
But my point is that.
What are you guys kicking, 36s?
We went to the.
In fact, we brought another friend.
And I don't even know who the hell she was.
Ah.
But.
I thought that was funny.
Yeah, it was.
In fact, you know what's kind of funny?
I'll talk about this little booby moment here.
My wife is, was an actress.
And one of the gigs that she got,
she was in a commercial for a local booby joint.
And.
They had commercials?
This one was a very nice booby joint.
And so, you know, she was in the commercial
as in one of those little extra background things.
And I was there, because I drove her there,
and I went to go pick her up.
And you know, you never know how time is gonna happen.
I ended up having to stay there.
I was there forever, forever.
And I was dressed nice.
Had to suit on for some stupid reason.
I forget what job I had.
You didn't go in while they were filming?
I was there.
Did you get the free.
I was inside.
Oh, okay, you were inside.
Did you get the steak buffet?
They.
Funny you mention that.
So they were like, hey, well, you know what?
We need some extra people.
So I was there.
I was sitting with Tara at a table, cutting a steak.
I was starving too as a badass flaming young in front of me.
And.
In the commercial.
So basically the camera's behind me, all right?
And it's on the booby, it's on the martini glasses.
And this lady's carrying the.
That should be on YouTube, shouldn't it?
It should be.
And we should find it.
And then the camera zooms in on me.
And then.
Oh, does it?
On my plate.
And it goes past Tara.
And I'm in a topless bar advertisement.
And you have more screen time than she does?
I think I do.
I do.
And she's like, it's fucking bullshit.
Well, you know what's even more funny is I was actually.
Did you get the day rate?
I was a.
I didn't get paid anything.
I was a disc jockey at the time.
And so.
I was at Humperninks in Los Clinas.
And this is back in the early 90s when the Cowboys were busy.
We're within.
Good, somewhat decent.
30 years ago.
Yeah.
That was a long time ago.
It'll be 30 years.
Yeah, I know.
It's crazy.
The last time they won a Super Bowl, if you had a child,
how old would they be right now?
29.
That's fantastic.
Actually, they won a 96, right?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
So anyways, imagine I'm at a.
Before I was married.
I'm at my job and we got football games going on.
And all of a sudden for like one of the football games,
the commercial is that local bar.
And there I am.
OK.
And it was a jaw dropping moment.
Not the booby bar.
No.
They're not going to show that commercial.
Yeah.
You're saying Humperninks.
Humperninks was where I worked.
And I was up in the booth and we had like sporting events
going on.
Because it was like Sunday Night Football.
I don't know what it was.
And they showed a commercial.
You're the, are you cutting the steak commercial?
Yes.
And just coincidentally, I think it was Sunday Night Football.
I think it's exactly what it was.
Because I was there.
I was hosting.
And I think after the show, I was
going to do karaoke or something like that.
And during the Sunday Night Football game,
I think I had like football squares out there.
So I had a big dry erase board.
And I'd pass out, I'd give out prizes
for the first, second, third, fourth, whatever.
Sure.
And the commercial came on.
And here I am.
I'm on the screen.
It was a show.
No way.
It was a moment.
I'll cherish that forever.
Oh, you were a celebrity.
I was a celebrity for life.
They had a booby bar.
Did they get your autograph?
No.
No, no autographs that night.
You didn't sign like any boobs?
No, it was, you know what?
I just relished the moment.
It was fun.
And it was kind of cool.
The whole thing was cool.
Going to the actual recording of the commercial was cool.
They had these two goons that were a typical porn looking
guys that were the main guys there.
It was like the cliche thing.
And I was like, man, this is just fucking stupid.
But this was a Saturday morning.
And I had to take her, tear her up there.
And so it was an all day investment.
And so I was just bored out of my fucking mind.
What a beat down.
But I watched how the whole process of a Saturday was.
Saturday shoot.
Well, not just that, but they still had to conduct business.
So they had stuff going on there.
So I got it was like one of the first moments
that I was able to go to a booby bar
and not get in trouble for it.
So this was like a Saturday.
So you're just sitting there just.
Dude, it was 8 in the morning, 10 in the morning, 11.
And then people started coming in off the streets.
And then you have these girls.
Of course, they were in the next room.
And I get to go over there, hey, declare the floor.
And so I'd go in the next room.
They're like, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he,
what's going on in here?
What's going on in here?
And they have like a buffet.
And this was a nice one.
I'm trying to think which one it was.
It was off of Northwest Highway.
The Gentleman's Club?
Probably Men's Club.
The Lodge.
It was the Lodge.
Oh, the Lodge?
That's exactly what it was.
It was the Lodge.
Oh, that was the Primo place, wasn't it?
Well, sounds like you know.
I have no idea.
Is that still in existence?
I don't know.
It should be.
All those places on Northwest Highway still are.
It had an incredible sound system.
Oh, yeah.
The subwoofer.
I've never seen a subwoofer like this in my life.
This subwoofer was about 12 foot long and about 14 inches
in diameter.
Damn.
This was a tube?
It was a huge tube.
And this thing could take off your clothes.
Oh.
I mean, what the hell just happened?
So the ladies got on the stage and then it blew the clothes off?
Is that how that works?
No, it was just an incredible sound bug.
That's not it.
So I had an interesting booby bar experience.
So if you remember, my brother-in-law
was the head chef at Men's Club.
The head chef.
Oh, yeah.
And so one day, it was during the week, and my wife was like,
really?
But I was like, no, I want to go down there when it's not crazy
and when he has time to show me what's
going on in the booby bar, right?
I mean, not in the booby bar, but in his kitchen, right?
So you guys are focused on the lodge pictures?
No, but we are.
You are listening?
Yes.
The producer's pulling up.
You are listening.
I heard the word kitchen.
OK, right.
So my brother-in-law was the head chef at Men's Club.
I wanted to see the operation.
I wanted to see what it's like.
Producer, keep looking for your mom.
I said, what it's like?
Oh, god.
What?
Really?
That was just wrong.
I said, I wanted to see what it's like for a chef
to have to run a kitchen, right?
Actually, it would have been better
if it was in a restaurant, but it happened to be in a booby bar.
And so I came out.
Well, Men's Club was a nicer one, wasn't it?
A very nice one.
And so I went there.
It was like a Tuesday.
And I was like, tell you what, I'm
going to hang out with you for a couple of hours.
I want to see what you do.
And my wife was like, oh, really?
Yeah, no.
But here's the thing.
I was in the kitchen absolutely most of the time.
And he was describing the equipment
and how the equipment is.
And the girls were coming in and picking up their food
and be like, hi.
Well, no, no.
The waitresses were.
Yeah, and they were wearing something similar
that they would wear at a casino.
No, at a casino.
You know how they wear?
They wear like little one piece.
Yeah, one piece.
Like sequined swimsuit or something.
Casino outfits.
Yeah, they're not two piece or topless or anything.
They're wearing.
Anyway, so I'm in the kitchen.
And he's walking.
And so they hired my brother-in-law
to turn things around from the kitchen perspective,
from a menu perspective.
And so he was supposed to go in there and evaluate
the equipment.
And so he was walking me through what he had to do.
And he was like, this has to go and that has to go.
And I have to pull that out.
And these guys have to learn the menu.
And he's working on a new menu.
And he's like, look at my new menu.
And he's trying to teach them how to do the new menu.
I mean, it was fascinating.
And then he takes me into his office.
It's like Chef Ramsay coming in for Hell's Kitchen.
Absolutely.
And then he's walking me through how
the menu relates to the clientele that they have.
Because they're expecting a buffet with high end stuff.
Right.
And all this kind of stuff.
And this is men's club.
So it's apparently high end stuff.
Like tiger prawns.
So here's what's really interesting.
So it was sad.
It was actually really sad.
So when I was pulling in, there were maybe
six cars in the parking lot.
But every single one of them was like 80,000 plus.
Right.
Some of them were 150 plus.
Like these are nice, nice cars.
So here we are.
I go in there.
And there's those dudes.
And you can't really see them because there's high back chairs.
And girls were with them.
And so here you go.
You have millionaire plus old dudes, older dudes,
that are lonely.
And they hang out at men's club during the day.
Well, they get good attention.
Not saying sexually.
They get one on one.
But they'll get conversations and dances.
They get one on one.
But how does that equate to the sales of the food?
Well, OK.
So he was.
Do they expect high end food?
Well, here's the thing.
They walk in and they say, I want to talk to.
I'm not going to say his name.
I'm going to talk to the chef.
And they're like, oh, you know, chef, Albert's here.
And he's like, oh, cool.
Because this guy's a major dollar high roller dude, right?
Even though the place is empty, right?
So this is like a sports club environment
where you got to know your members.
Absolutely.
And know exactly what they have.
And here's another thing that some people don't understand
about food and beverage.
And you're dealing with a high caliber members only club,
so to speak, is that sometimes the services that you provide
aren't there to make money.
They're there as an amenity.
And it's hard to differentiate between an amenity
and a service.
Right.
In other words, you're losing money on that deal.
But that brings other clients.
Yeah, it's a quality of service.
And so he goes out there and he's like, hey, Albert,
how you doing?
He's like, he's great.
He goes, what are you in the mood for?
And he goes, man, I'm thinking seafood today.
And so he just scratch.
He's like, make me something.
No menu, no buffet, no nothing.
He's like, scratch kitchen, make me something.
And that's what my brother-in-law did.
He was like, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom.
And he'd come out there and he goes, this is fantastic.
I mean, it was crazy.
And these guys, like I said, big tippers, big.
I mean, he probably made money on whatever
he was doing for them, right?
Oh, I'm sure.
I'm sure.
But overall.
I used to work at a guitar center.
And selling the.
They don't have boobies there.
No.
But the clientele and the reps for.
Not unless you took your shirt off and put some tassels on.
Were you chockless?
No, I was not.
He was crotchless.
But I was responsible for selling all the studio gear
and the live studio gear.
Not the guitars or instruments or thing like that,
but the speakers, the boards, the digital shit.
And the reps would come in.
And just that industry, it's guys with long hair
and musicians.
Hey, let's go out to dinner.
Very pompous.
Yeah, and we went to the Gentleman's Club.
And there's two floors to it, I think.
And we went up to the VIP lounge.
And he was whining and dying of this.
Sell my shit.
And we were talking to the waitress.
And she was just a beautiful woman.
She's a little bit older, not much.
But she's like, yeah, my daughter is 14 or something
like that.
And I make well over six figures here as a waitress.
Why was she sharing that information?
Because we were just talking.
I think he asked.
Because they're real people, and they just talk.
Yeah.
Yes, they do.
She sat down and talked to us for a while,
because it wasn't real busy.
And she's like, yeah, I do great.
She goes, I don't have to strip.
I don't have to do this, do this.
I wear this.
It's like a one piece, like you said.
That's what I'm saying.
She goes, I make well over six figures.
It's like a red outfit with black lace around the edges.
Yeah.
And they're wearing like, you know.
And I was amazed.
And she was a waitress.
You've got some of these restaurants like The Mansion,
or some of these super, I mean, take the booby club aspect out
of it.
You've got some very high caliber restaurants
where these bartenders, for example.
Make a fortune.
Oh my gosh.
These bartenders make $100 grand,
and they're not doing anything more than you would.
They should be.
They should know these people by name,
and they should be super friendly.
Because I'm going to tell you how
disappointed I've been at different bars where
they're just assholes.
I'm like, you're a dick.
I mean, why would I ever tip you?
I'm going to, but I'm not going to get another drink.
You know what I mean?
All you have to do is be a very attentive,
know your audience, know the names of your people.
Anyway, keep going.
Well, that's just essentially what I'm saying.
Because there are jobs out there that are diamonds
in the rough for food and beverage.
Just any kind of job, it's just like, what the hell?
As long as you're naked.
It's just luck to get in.
And in some of those positions, you
have to buy, like the maitre d's at these high end.
I remember you saying something about that.
I didn't understand that.
You pay them to get the job.
I read an article.
Well, OK, so the maitre d is there.
He's making $300,000, $400,000 a year as a maitre d
at this five star Michelin.
And when he's like, yeah, I'm retiring.
He shows up and you got like Jacques Cabourgé that goes,
would you like me to take you in the bed,
your suitcase is up to your room,
and would you like me to set up your champagne as a la ronda?
So he's Slovakian?
He's the blue guy.
He's a Somalian.
Oh, the blue guy.
The blue guy, OK.
So and then when they retire, how often this happens,
I don't know, but at the certain locations, they'll sell it.
Say, who wants my job?
I'll sell it to you $400,000.
You're going to make $300,000.
Oh, I see.
I see.
Kind of a thing.
How can you sell your job to somebody else?
I'm leaving my current company.
That was the article I read.
Whether it's true or how often it happens.
Can I sell my job to somebody?
I mean, if there's a market for it.
If they're just clamoring to get in there,
I want that position.
Yeah, but I can't sell them the job.
I don't know.
I can't go to HR and go, listen, I'm thinking about leaving.
I'm going to sell my job to this other guy.
I don't know.
It was an article I read.
How does that work?
Maybe it only works in the restaurant industry
at a certain level, right?
Yeah.
I think you go to these restaurants like Del Frisco's
or Perry's.
I bet those waiters or waitresses, I bet they do well.
What a perfect example.
I was thinking to myself, the last time I went there,
and I do not, absolutely do not go there very often,
but I was thinking to myself, no disrespect,
but he wasn't a better waiter than any other waiter
that I've been to, had, in any other restaurant.
I mean, he didn't blow my socks off with amazing charisma
and service, and he was amazing, right?
He wasn't.
But I know he's making way more money.
Oh, sure he is.
Way more money.
And how do these guys get that job and the other guys don't?
Well, because they know the difference between a Manhattan
and an old-fashioned.
No, I'm not talking about bartenders.
I'm talking about waiters.
Well, same thing.
That they know the menu.
Well, same thing.
And they can describe.
Oh, it's rice with covered, that's a suta sauce.
That's a rice pilaf and some vegetables.
And what is it?
I've never had a waiter have an accent kind of like that.
Well, most of them are like, you have the rice with the,
no exchanges, no changes.
Yeah, you can't have that.
What if you had a waiter that was like, yeah, the Flamin'
Young, you know, you know, I get to fill it.
Mignan, I get some sliced carrots over here with some
goat's milk that we sauteed this morning.
There's some sort of probably blue because he's a sounds
Italian.
He was like, I'll take it.
Some sort of sauce on it.
I don't know what to make.
Plan on there.
I got some like as a freshly whacked juice.
We just slapped it on there right now.
Hey, they tell me it's really spicy, man.
I don't know what to tell you.
So, you know, overall, food and beverage is horrible.
But you can find a diamond in the rough where you can.
There are some people like one.
One.
Make some brand.
He works for a Mexican restaurant out in the lobby.
You can make money.
And it's a higher end Mexican restaurant,
but it's nothing like Del Frisco's.
You know, it's you know, they make regular jobs.
They piss people off that have like regular jobs that work nine
to five.
Yeah, I go in there and I work four or five hours
and I clean house.
I fucking make $200, $300 a shift.
How does somebody that works at like a normal Mexican
restaurant get in there?
You have to know somebody, right?
No.
Yeah, you absolutely do.
You got to know somebody.
No way.
Mexican restaurant?
No.
At a high end, but you're making bank
like you were describing.
Well, those maybe.
But like.
Maybe like the mansion or something like that.
But you got like Perry Steakhouse.
You've got like Del Frisco's and stuff like that.
How do you get into those places?
You got to fucking apply.
You got to have.
I think today you have a better chance
to get to those places because of the great resignation that's
going on or happened.
Right.
People don't want to work.
Because they get paid not to work.
You have a better chance of getting in there now
than you did in the past.
Dude.
Jump out.
Because sometimes when you get to those places, people stay.
Those people are making bank.
At those high end places.
Yes.
Because Brandon will say, yeah, man, I worked yesterday
and I pulled in 300 bucks.
One day.
Right.
Now he'll also say, yeah, I only did 60 bucks today.
So it may even itself out.
But he has some spectacular days some days.
Because you got to work five, six days a week.
And you think about Thursday, Friday, Saturdays.
Well, he works Friday, Saturday, and Sundays.
Yeah.
Well, actually, those are pretty good days.
That's awesome, man.
So he has really good ones.
And he's been doing well.
He's getting better at it.
But he's in college.
So it's not a career for him.
But he does well.
He does enough to be able to go out on dates, buy shit.
I worked for this.
Help pay the bills.
Yeah, buy crack.
I worked for this one restaurant where they had a Sunday buffet.
And it was a nice place.
It was nice.
Was it Luby's?
I won't say what place it is.
It was Golden Corral.
Yeah, I won't say what place it is.
But they had a high caliber one.
So the buffet was like $40 a head.
It was something like that, $20, $35.
That's expensive.
Yeah, it was expensive.
It was expensive.
And they had a coupon in the newspaper.
And it was like.
That would be me.
I'm the schmuck that shows up with the coupon.
$15.99.
Wait a second.
Sir, that expired yesterday.
No, it didn't.
Buy one, get one free.
OK?
Really?
It should be $15.
It was $30 a head.
Oh, yeah.
So what we would do as waitstaff is we'd buy all of them,
all the fucking newspapers.
And we'd cut out.
So nobody could get them?
No, we'd cut the coupons out.
So anybody that freaking paid with cash.
Oh.
Oh, so you'd double your tip.
Yeah.
That's cheating.
I see.
I followed by the rules.
That's fraud.
Hold on.
So you submitted a coupon that the patron didn't even
know you submitted.
Correct.
And you pocketed the coupon.
You could have done that with the credit card, too.
No, how you can do that?
Well, because you get paid on.
That's on your paycheck.
Because all those tips that are on the credit card,
they get paid on your paycheck.
You got to go back to the table.
So if the mill costs x amount of dollars,
you got to go back to the table.
And it's got to say x amount of dollars.
No, you can't do it like that.
I mean, there's no.
So you don't give them a receipt after you ring it up
with a free meal?
No, if there's.
Mr. Fraudster over here, he's like, listen,
if you work on it, you know how to work the system.
You could have done the credit card, too.
I was taking the simple road where it's all.
You're stupid.
You didn't do credit cards, too.
It's all on cash.
You could have doubled your money.
I never mess with credit cards, because that's
like you're asking yourself to get in trouble.
The cash one.
There's an electronic record.
Basically, look, if you put the ticket on the table
and they pay with cash, and let's just say,
hypothetically, it's 50 bucks.
It's 40 bucks.
And they leave cash in there.
They say, hey, just keep the change.
All right, well, guess what?
If you throw an extra coupon in there,
now you just made an extra 30, 40 bucks.
You tripled your tip.
But think about it.
19, 20, 21 years old.
And you just spent like a dollar to open up the machine.
And you took all of the newspapers in there.
You know, that's exciting.
The early careers of criminals.
So the Dallas Morning News was losing money.
Young criminals just starting out,
like figuring out the system.
You know, it's so exciting.
It's like your first love.
You know when you're dating and you're 16
and you have that special feeling?
You know what's fucked up is that first theft?
It's just like the young criminals figuring it out.
I actually opened up the newspaper dispenser
and put the newspapers back.
You fell back.
You took the coupon out and put them back?
I would take the page out.
So that the magazine people could see it.
So you'd kind of like drop it open
and you'd work all the papers and you put it back?
I would.
It was a process.
That was totally jacked up about newspaper.
I don't know if they still have newspaper dispensers like that.
But you put in your quarter and you open up the thing.
You can take all of them.
Yeah.
I mean, that was just so stupid.
Well, they're thinking most people wouldn't.
Most people don't.
Yeah, but you did.
Well, he wants 10 newspapers.
So you took all of them and you cut out the coupons.
I did.
But you put them back.
Yeah, someone says, hey, Murl, go get that coupon
out of the paper.
You can go in there and it's already cut out.
I'm like, what's up?
No, I took the whole page out.
I took the whole page.
But it was only like the newspaper
dispenser at the restaurant?
Oh, no, no.
No, this is up the street.
Oh, you went somewhere else.
Yeah, this is like right around the corner.
See, that's what I'm talking about.
The young criminals, man.
It's so exciting when they first start out.
They're smart and they go down the street.
You know what I'm saying?
Yeah, so Jeff, let us know.
What does it look like?
No, no, no, Sean.
I didn't do anything like that.
It's more Sean, really.
Walk us through other young criminal exciting things
that you did when you first started your criminal career.
Well, how about Gratuiti?
Great.
OK, so.
I was kidding.
He's not.
No, let's talk about this because this happens.
This is a dudes like us thing because it happens.
It happens to us.
It happens with us.
So there are some folks, not necessarily me.
I have done it a few times.
But there are some times where you have,
let's say someone shows up at a nice restaurant
and you have eight people in your party.
And they're kind of like, on the bottom of the little ticket,
it says, hey, look, any parties of six or more,
Gratuiti is automatically added.
So when they get their ticket, we'll ring it up.
And then it will ask the way I'm having a hard time.
So this is still the waiter.
Yeah, so the server, the waiter, the server gets the ticket.
They run the credit card with the tip included and everything.
But when they receive the credit card voucher to print,
it doesn't say that it's included.
It doesn't say that it's included.
So they add more to it.
They do.
And so it's basically.
And you don't tell them, hey, tip's already there.
No, no, no, no.
That was something I always did.
I highlighted on their ticket.
But they didn't see it.
Dude.
Because you didn't tell them.
I took the extra effort and highlighted it.
Did you use blue highlighter?
I used yellow.
No, it was invisible highlighter.
It was clear.
It was a clear highlighter.
It was a very thin pencil.
No, it was just a clear highlighter.
Thin pencil.
Isn't it?
Right.
It was number three lead.
Clear.
No, it was flat out clear highlighter.
This is his finger.
Oh, I highlighted it.
Yeah, if they had a blue light, they would have seen it.
Yeah.
It was my sperm.
What?
There's no sperm on the ticket, Jeff.
It's just a.
You talked about black light.
Well, black light doesn't have to always mean just sperm.
Because you sign your name.
It can also be blood.
It's sperm.
Wow.
That's what you told me.
What just happened?
I don't know, Paul.
I said blue light, and it triggered Jeff.
He immediately went to sperm.
All right.
So some positive things happening here.
Amazon has pulled the Black Lives Matter option
off of their list of donations.
Charitable.
Well, because Black Lives Matter screwed the shit out
of all those corporations.
That's why.
They totally delegitimize themselves.
$60 million.
Black Lives Matter on Amazon?
And they don't know where it's at.
Even California said they're going to.
What is California going to do to Black Lives Matter?
They're going to.
Nothing.
No, no.
The opposite.
They're investigating, aren't they?
Yeah.
They're upset.
Well, they want to know where their taxable $60 million is.
No, but they took action.
Probably.
California took some sort of action, kind of like Amazon
did.
They said something.
I don't remember what it was.
But Black Lives Matter is in trouble.
They're in trouble.
As an organization.
I think companies are no longer going to like.
It was bullshit.
It was bullshit from the beginning.
It was total bullshit from the beginning.
They bought into it, though.
Yeah, they did.
They hooked line and sinker.
I don't have any sympathy.
I don't either.
No sympathy.
If anyone had any business savvy,
they would have dove in head first and made him that.
I need to show.
I need to virtue signal.
I need to give money.
100% virtue signaling.
Boom.
Amen.
That's all it was.
Virtue signaling.
And they didn't investigate to see if this was legitimate.
How is my money going to be used or anything?
And then on top of that.
So they could say they gave.
Yep.
And on the heels of that, did you
hear about the guy who is a Black Lives Matter activist?
He had a gun and went to a rally.
And he shot the gun and tried to kill.
A Jewish congressman.
He tried to kill a Jewish candidate for office.
Missed him.
It grazed his clothes.
It literally went through his clothes, but it didn't hit him.
And they, of course, arrested him and all this kind of stuff.
Black Lives Matter posted his bail.
There are celebrities that posted his bail.
What the hell, man?
He literally tried to assassinate
a candidate for office.
And he's a big MSNBC.
They interviewed him.
Joy Reid was big on him.
There's a bunch of.
And they literally bailed him out of jail.
I saw four celebrities that donated money to his bail.
Look at that big cheesy ass smile he has.
This photo was taken with President Obama.
Wow.
Amazing.
They bailed him out.
President Obama, one of the finest speakers,
one of the most corrupt presidents,
but man, he could talk.
Yeah, but that was why.
Look at the picture they find of the guy he shot.
Making an ugly face.
Shot at.
Whereas the other guy smiling.
Brown was accused of opening fire.
That's no different than Trevion Martin.
Remember that?
They showed a little kid when the Trevion Martin thing
was happening.
They showed him when he was a kid.
Oh, he was a little like 10-year-old.
He looked so innocent and stuff.
And then they showed him now, and he was like a full on thug,
looking all mean, and Instagram showing a gun.
When he was what, 16 or 17 at the time?
Yeah, I don't know.
I don't know.
But that's total optics.
Well, I'll tell you what, the guy that shot him.
Total bullshit optics.
You know, the guy that shot him ended up
being a fricking moron.
Oh, Zimmerman?
Zimmerman.
Oh, George Zimmerman went on.
He got acquitted.
Well, he did.
And then he went on to have a domestic violence
issue with somebody.
I don't know, he ended up being a girlfriend.
Yeah, the guy's a mess.
His wife left him.
Yeah, the guy's a mess.
No question about it.
Well, I would be too.
I mean, can you imagine?
Yeah, it was, yeah.
You can't go anywhere without somebody knowing who you worked.
Yeah.
He's a white Hispanic.
Right.
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
Is there such a thing?
Well, there is the news.
Because they kept saying he's white, he's white.
A white man did this, a white man did this.
And they found out that he's Hispanic.
He's a white Hispanic.
I didn't know that.
Interesting.
So where do these white Hispanic folks come from?
They delegitimize the ethnic issue from the get-go.
Correct.
God, they're such a bullshit.
Because they kept saying, well, this is a white guy
shooting a black guy.
Then it came out, well, no, he's actually Hispanic.
Well, he's a white Hispanic.
He's a white Hispanic.
Nice, nice.
Right.
Excellent.
Love it.
Love it, love it, love it.
Paul, man, we took a major, major left turn on that one.
Did we ever get to camping?
We did not get to camping.
Yeah.
Did we ever talk about the bourbon we were drinking?
What time does this podcast end?
It ends at 10.30.
Oh, OK.
We're good.
Well, Paul was wanting to be a pea and leave at 10.
But has that changed?
A Poseidon.
A vagina.
Perseus?
He wants to be a V.
Perseus, like a demigod?
What do you mean?
When you say pea.
Poon tang.
Is that a beer?
Yes, it is.
Sour.
I'm not a Poon Tang sour beer.
Did we ever talk about our bourbon?
No, we did not.
We did not.
It's Chet Nuta whiskey.
No, it is not.
It's Redwood.
It's Redwood Empire.
You know what?
This is one of a series.
There's actually three different ones.
And this is more.
And this is not the first we've had.
So what is this one?
Sean, hit us.
Well, this is the Lost Monarch.
It's named after the world's largest coastal Redwood
Lost Monarch.
Whiskey has a name to live up to, an award-winning bourbon
rye blend with an exceptional balance of sweetness and spice.
Perfect choice for those who just can't decide
between rye or bourbon.
We call it the best of both worlds.
I feel like we need subtitles for when you talk.
I think he kind of sounded like the announcer
of the prices, right, as he's like lifting the prices.
So like, if we had a video feed, we would need closed caption.
It's a dark amber color with a slightly orange cast.
Isn't that much better?
The nose, complex, with clove, cinnamon, vanilla, orange,
citrus zest.
What the hell?
Butterscotch notes and an intriguing hint of.
What the hell?
Murphywood.
That was sandalwood.
What does sandalwood taste like?
I don't know what sandalwood.
Murphywood.
Or smell like.
I know what sandalwood smells like.
Probably coarse leather.
Coarse?
Or horse?
Coarse.
Coarse leather.
Holy shit.
60% rye?
Is that right?
No.
60% rye?
That's what it just said.
No, it's blended.
It's blended.
Look right there.
Holy shit.
It's blend.
60% rye whiskey.
Shut the front door.
40% bourbon whiskey.
He's right.
No, it's a blend.
It is a blend, but the first blend is 60% rye.
Yeah, but it's a blend of 60% rye and 40% bourbon.
But if you look at it, it's actually a 95% rye.
Of the rye.
It's 90% rye, 5% marley.
So you have two whiskies, 60% of it is a rye whiskey,
40% is a bourbon whiskey.
Right.
He's just saying it's more rye than bourbon.
No, he said it was 60% rye.
Well, that's what it says.
That's what it says.
No.
It is not 60% rye.
It says what it says.
If you did all of the math.
60% of the rye.
So what's 60% of 95?
And then that's what you do.
Easy there.
Mathly.
No.
Come on, Paul.
You're the engineer.
I am the engineer.
You know, Jeff, I'm glad you brought that up.
So let me walk you guys through this.
It's actually an algorithm.
This is a four-year-old bourbon.
No.
A blend of four to 12-year-old bourbon.
OK, he is.
And a three to five-year-old rye whiskey.
Did you have your testosterone shot today?
Absolutely.
He's throwing down tonight.
I am.
Come on, you've got to be right.
You've got to be right about these things.
You've got to be right, Sean.
What the fuck?
60% rye right there in the front thing.
I've got to be right?
It's not 60% rye.
It says 60% rye.
Whiskey.
Does it say 60% rye?
We are the world.
No, it says 6% rye whiskey.
It says rye.
So you have a whiskey here.
This is a rye whiskey.
That's bottle and bottle.
60%, 40% of bourbon.
Does it mean it's a 60% rye?
Yeah, but that rye whiskey is 60%.
No, it's 95%.
No, it's 90% rye and 5% malt barley.
How do you say wind beneath your wings?
But the bourbon also has 21% rye.
That was like, we are the world.
Yeah, I was trying to think of it.
I think of Bette Miller's The Wind Beneath My Wings.
We don't listen to Bette Miller anymore.
Well, I'm trying to do something that's harmonizing.
I do like the rose.
So the bourbon is all right, long story short.
Redwood Empire Whiskey puts out some good stuff.
But this stuff, it kind of reminds me.
I like blends.
I do too.
Well, I mean, if they're good blends.
I do like blends.
The four ones, where they pick all four corners
and they come in, this one is only two.
And it's.
Well, we like the four grain.
That's a lot of blend.
We do, that's good.
That's when they make a bourbon out of four grains.
It has the wheat and the rye.
And it's not blended together?
No, it's not blended, but it uses four grains.
Like the Penelope, that's a four grain.
Do they take the several four grain ones,
or do they blend all the four grains together?
Well, they make the.
Bring that up.
I'm actually curious.
Bring up Penelope four grain, because I
thought it was a blend.
No.
It's not.
You're saying it literally is distilled from a mash.
Well, they don't blend together.
I mean, originally.
OK, and I'm good with that.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Put up four grain, Penelope four grain.
There it is, four grain bourbon.
All right, so I thought it was a blend.
It's not?
No.
Ask or tell.
No, that's not what he said.
A blend of three.
Uh oh.
Penelope four grains, straight bourbon.
What?
Uh oh.
Go back.
It said a blend.
It said.
That's not the one we have.
Yes, it is.
That is not the one we have.
OK, but.
It doesn't matter.
It's because it's great.
It read.
It says Penelope four grains, straight bourbon.
Blend of three bourbon mash pills.
Yeah, it is.
I could be wrong.
I'll admit it.
But that's not the one we have.
We're just giving you shit.
All right, let's go to another one.
Find the.
That's not the one.
That's got to be it, though.
It's a black label.
Oh, why is it going to be black?
That's the barrels.
Because it's Black History Month.
Oh, is it still February?
Yeah, dang it.
Why did you have to lead me there?
I mean, could it be?
We got the bottle out there.
We could just go grab it.
All right, so here's the thing.
Tara's birthday is coming up.
There it is.
No, no, no.
And we've got.
I see it.
Options to go camping.
That's it.
That's it right there.
The camping thing has brought up so many different.
That is not it.
You know, just.
Damn it.
We're trying to figure out where to go.
And we're trying to figure out why.
Well, what makes camping fun?
And we're trying to say, all right.
You're going to go camping for her birthday?
OK, first of all, it's not camping.
They're RVing.
They're going to RV it.
But I'm just saying.
That's not camping.
For them, it's not.
That's called glamping.
They're going to be in the RV.
But I was going to go perhaps over the weekend.
But I didn't want to stay in the RV.
I want to marry up and get a log tan or something.
Oh, why?
Why do you have to be like that?
Because I want them to enjoy the RV.
They don't go.
When was the last time you took your testosterone shot?
Well, no.
I'm just saying that I would like to stay in the tent.
What's the big deal?
Why?
Why not?
Why can't I stay in the tent?
I guess you can.
I mean, the sleeping bags are rated for under 20 degrees,
the ones I have.
We're not saying you're going to freeze to death.
We're just saying it's not as comfortable.
I would go in the RV.
It's not as comfortable as being in the RV.
And drink and eat and have fun and hang out with them.
And then go out to your tent?
Yeah.
Because the girls are going to stay in the RV.
We'll stay in the tent.
OK, well, that's different.
Or you can have a four-way.
Just saying.
Oh, wow.
What, a five-way, a six-way?
Is there any limit?
Well, if you talk about Sistadena Chile,
it goes to five-way.
OK.
So that's the max.
Five-way's the max.
Do you absorb that, Sean?
Five-way is the max.
I don't know, man.
Jeff fucking.
That was the biggest curveball I've ever heard
from Jeff.
Yeah, and that's a swing and a miss for me.
I can't hit that.
All right, you won.
Seriously, when's the last time you had your testosterone thing?
Oh, really?
Why?
Because I got to ask the question.
Why?
When's the last time you've done yours?
What's today?
I don't know.
Today's Tuesday.
22nd?
I don't know.
We've already had this conversation.
I do mine every 3 and 1 half days.
And I self-inject.
I know.
I'm asking you.
I do it once a week.
So once a week.
So is it like Mondays?
Sundays.
And compared to what you're doing, is it the same stuff?
It's the same stuff.
Just different dosages at different intervals.
Because there was some stickier stuff and less sticky stuff.
Yes.
Yeah.
Like semen?
No.
Does it make it stickier?
I don't know.
Jeff, how's your semen?
Is it sticky?
Mine's very viscous.
No.
There are some testosterone shots that you get that are very
viscousy that last for like 30 minutes.
I'm going to use a lifeline.
Call Shelly.
Hey.
Hey, honey.
What's going on?
Listen, Sean wants to know if my sperm is sticky.
Is it stickier?
Is it stickier than before?
Does it taste like pineapples?
I remember when I didn't do the shots.
Is it viscous?
Viscuous.
She just hung up.
Did it glue your hairs on your eyebrows shut?
Really?
What?
Wow.
Wow, too much.
Too far.
Too much, too far.
So based on one of our past podcasts,
you had brought up there are different types of the-
We actually just say SS.
Testosterone, where you take like an injection of some very
thick shit that will eventually erode away in 30 days.
Or you could take some stuff that's kind of instant that
will erodes less in less time.
Does that make sense?
There are-
Long term, short term.
Well, there's pellets that you inject underneath your skin.
Those are pellets.
Are they pellets?
I thought there was some sort of a syrupy kind of thing.
No, no, no.
They're pellets.
They're pellets that you can inject in your butt cheek.
They release over like six weeks.
Correct.
Even longer than that.
Months, three months.
Well, my point by bringing that up is that their dissolve rate
is sort of-
Somewhat controllable, yes.
Is it controllable?
Not really.
That's my point.
Yeah, some people dissolve it a lot faster than others.
And I don't really understand that.
And I'm not on board with that.
But that's what I'm bringing up.
And that's why I was asking, is yours in that neighborhood,
or is yours like Paul's?
Like Paul's.
OK, that's kind of the-
I'm on board with self-inject because you can control everything.
And are you injecting yourself?
Yeah.
Interesting.
Julie does it.
Yeah.
And where do you inject it?
In the eyelid.
Left shaft.
Right underneath the eye.
You have a right shaft?
You have multiple shafts?
Wow, you're like a cow out of her.
In the ass.
My urologist didn't walk me through multiple shafts.
Did he frown upon the shaft injection?
I think I have a unishaft.
I wasn't aware that there was something other than that.
Get the fuck out of here.
And my left shaft.
Yeah.
Honey, which-
Don't do it to the right.
We have to alternate.
Honey, which one do you want to use tonight?
How does that work?
OK.
Thank you, Jeff.
Is that the buttocks?
It's intramuscular, so that's going to your muscle.
Yes.
Either you could do it in your thigh, I guess.
Yeah, I wouldn't do that.
Butt cheek, all the way.
Yeah, the butt cheek, in the muscle, in your glute.
Yeah.
What's wrong with the thigh?
Gluteus maximus.
Because these needles are this long.
They have really long needles.
Are they really?
Yes.
I mean, they're an inch long.
No, they're more than an inch.
This thing's an inch and a half.
Mine's six inches.
It pokes out the front of my femur.
It goes all the way through.
Dude, is it really an inch and a half long?
It's very uncomfortable.
Yes, it's an inch and a half.
That's not that long.
I don't think mine.
I'll go get you one of mine.
I literally don't think mine are that long.
I'll go get you one of mine.
And you look at it, you go like, because the first time
I picked those up, I was like, holy shit.
Yeah, I think you do the ones that are meant for elephants.
You probably need to do the ones that I do,
which is for humans.
Yeah, you get a veterinarian one.
No, these are like, these are like, because on there.
Where do you go?
Do you go to a vet to get your shots?
They're elephant.
This is like big darts.
She shoots me from across the room like a harpoon.
Then it pumps in.
Mr. Jeff, are you ready?
Yeah, I wouldn't.
I'll show you one.
Mine are not that long.
They're really not that long.
But maybe let's compare needles.
Oh, god.
All right.
We won't share needles.
We'll just compare needles.
I was curious about that because we never talked about that.
We never talked about it.
We had talked about the testosterone
in one of our previous podcasts.
But we didn't.
I can tell you, I wasn't.
You weren't taking it.
I can tell you, I have more energy.
Do you?
A lot more.
I'm out there in the garage working.
Yeah, you are.
Instead of sitting on my ass like I was.
Right.
So I have more energy.
I want to go to the gym.
I want to do this.
I want to do that.
I haven't lost the weight yet because as soon as I took it,
then I got the fucking COVID.
And I was out for a few weeks.
And now I'm getting back into it.
So now I want to go back and I want to start losing the weight.
You definitely have energy.
And you fight with Sean more.
I like that.
Do you really?
Does he really?
Yeah.
You guys argue more.
I like that.
That's good.
I think more people need to argue with Sean.
Instead of you?
Instead of me.
Yeah, I don't want to be the only testosterone needle
junkie that fights for Sean.
I'm kidding.
God, look at you.
You all in the bathroom.
I'm just like, all right.
No, I can see your face.
You're all, oh, really?
What just happened?
Yeah.
Did you really?
What?
Whatever.
Anyway, we're just giving you shit.
Anyway, what's your point?
Where do you want to go with that?
Would you like to get on the program?
Well, you know, I'm not against it.
I'm not against it.
That's why I was asking.
We haven't talked about the size of the needle.
I'll show you one when I get down there.
I don't care about it.
I mean, I'm a man.
I'll take it right of my, wherever it needs to go.
Take your right shaft.
Up the peepee hole?
Dude, I will shove it.
I will, it won't go anywhere near my peepee hole.
Oh, no peepee hole shaft?
No.
OK, that's fine.
But I'll put up my scrotum if I need to.
No, you don't need to.
Shut the front door.
You're not going to stick a needle in your scrotum.
You would be an idiot.
I am constantly touching my scrotum.
Oh.
Constantly.
Why?
My scrotum is like, there's like no feeling in there.
Yeah, this got very, very personal.
I can like poke things in there.
Nothing happens.
So you've done this.
It's like a tortoise shell.
So you've taken a knife and done this.
I've never done a knife.
Like a toothpick?
I haven't done anything.
Have you jabbed anything into your scrotum sack?
No, I mean, just think a couple of times a day.
You reach down there.
OK, I'll give you one of my needles,
and you poke a hole in your scrotum.
What are you talking about?
I am not going to pierce my scrotum.
Well, you said that's what you would do.
Have we all been vasectomied?
What the fuck are we drinking?
No, no, let's talk about vasectomies.
No, no, let's back up a second, because we're all 50 plus.
What is the proof on this bourbon?
I don't know.
They say 95, I call bullshit.
So if we're going to talk about 50s health and all that kind
of stuff, are we all vasectomied?
I am.
I am as well.
I am not.
You are not vasectomied.
Oh, I am shooting wigglies.
Really?
Oh, yeah.
Interesting.
All right, so I don't know.
I tell you the reason why I got mine
is I did not want my wife to get a hysterectomy,
because my mother got a hysterectomy
and had to go on hormones, and that
led to her breast cancer.
OK.
So I told my wife, I was like, I don't want you to do that.
I will get the vasectomy instead.
Right, right, right.
It's much easier for the man to become scarril
It is.
Than the woman to become scarril.
It's so invasive.
Well, the last child that we had, unbeknownst to me,
which is really fucked up, my mother-in-law
made the choice to take that away from my wife.
How did she have that power?
Why wouldn't your wife didn't discuss it with you?
What do you mean?
She just made an appointment and did it and didn't even tell you?
OK, so we had our last child.
At the same time.
Oh, OK.
That's usually when they do it, either way.
Well, at the same time.
But you didn't know.
Yeah, the conversation was never had with me.
That's not cool.
Yeah.
Wow.
I don't know what to say to that.
Yeah.
Well, my question is, how did your mother-in-law have that power?
Because she was in the room with her.
I don't know.
In fact, my wife even is like, she wanted another child.
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
She did it against the will of even your wife?
You know what?
I need to fact check that.
And this is kind of a very sore subject.
Yeah, I wouldn't fact check it.
I would let it go.
That was a long time ago, and it's too late now.
It is way too late.
I wouldn't even go there.
It kind of steeps into.
Something's weird about that whole situation.
Yeah, well, it happened, and I wasn't aware of it.
When I found out that she couldn't have any more kids,
I was like, really?
When did that happen?
Why was I involved in that?
Yeah, that's crazy.
Yeah, that's a discussion that you should have.
That's the question.
That's a conversation I should have had prior.
Yeah, Julia had the hard discussion,
because she wanted one, because she was having lots of hormone
girl stuff issues.
Right.
And she wanted one.
I was like, no.
I was like, I don't want you to do that because of this,
because of my experience.
Whether that's right or wrong, I don't know.
Right.
And I was like, I'll just go.
It's easier for me to recover.
They went in there and did their thing.
You had a very long style.
It wasn't that.
It was the internal hormones.
You get burnt in the frickin' Hulk.
Yeah.
It was like Andre the Giant.
He was.
He came out at 6'4".
Oh, wow.
Wow, that would look like a very awkward pregnancy.
I mean, she'd be swollen in a lot of weird areas.
Yeah, just like a human body shape, stomach.
Yeah, like a leg sticking out of her neck and stuff.
And he's flexing, like all the boys do these days.
No, that would be Preston.
Yeah, they all do it.
They just look at themselves.
Those boys, I'm excited for when they get back together.
I know Brandon's been in Lubbock for a long while.
And the boys have been in college stationed.
And it's like.
Yeah, when they reconvene during the summertime.
It's off the hook.
It's hilarious.
It's kind of like the first time.
The boys were like seniors in high school.
And Brandon had gone to Nacogdocious.
And he was playing football into the college there.
And we brought the boys up there to visit.
Preston and Stephen.
And it's like we get to the hotel room.
And all they see each other.
And all of a sudden, it's just.
Wrestle.
They're WrestleMania.
It's like.
It's like Gremlins.
They're fagging out.
They're like hanging out.
They're like hanging from the ceiling.
Oh, yeah.
And we're just watching.
And Jeff and I were like, fuck that.
I don't get in there.
Yeah, that's the way it was every time.
Because Preston would go on vacations with us.
Like several vacations.
And every time we get to the hotel room,
it was a wrestle match.
It was always Stephen and Preston against Brandon.
Why?
I don't know.
It's so weird.
I don't know.
It was just so violent.
I just love the fact that when summertime comes,
instantaneously, they all get together.
All of them.
They converge from everywhere.
And they all get together.
And then, I mean, they don't always go to my house.
But I mean, they go to a house.
And then eventually, they end up in my house.
They rotate.
And then when they do the halfway house,
when they do, it's like, it's just awesome.
Like Shelly and I would be watching TV.
And then, boom, the door slams open.
It's like hugs and craziness.
And they all talk.
And there's a million side conversations going on.
And then they all go upstairs.
And they all do that thing.
Yeah, oh yeah.
They all play pool and have their drinks.
I did not say that.
You know what I mean?
It's just cool.
I love it.
I love it when they all come home.
And they're like, they're all my sons.
You know?
It's good stuff.
Yeah.
It is crazy.
You guys had sons.
And I've got two daughters.
Yeah, no, I didn't experience that at all.
Yeah, I didn't get to experience the period.
I want to suggest it.
Wow.
The period.
Dude.
Well, yeah.
Yeah.
It's a real thing.
Nailed it.
Yeah.
It sucks.
It's unpredictable.
Dude, it sucks now.
No, I bet.
What do you mean?
It never ends.
I mean, it's like.
Well, it does once they get to their 50s.
OK.
All right, my two daughters are both above 50,
which makes me 85.
What are you now?
That's what you have to look forward to when they're done
doing that?
Oh, if they're living with me, I guess.
Hopefully, they're not at that point.
No, do not say that.
Do not say that.
You know what?
And here's the thing.
I don't even care if they are.
My kids could stay with me as long as they want.
The only thing I want my kids to do
is be productive.
Is be productive.
Be productive and do something respectable.
I hear you.
And that's really, I don't care.
I mean, I've got like, the houses,
there's always something to do with the house.
And it's frustrating, frankly, because all my kids
are graduated.
So I mean, they don't pay rent.
That house should be immaculate.
Yeah.
And I'm going to leave it at that.
I plan on charging rent.
Yeah, you should.
You honestly should.
I told my boys this.
If you graduate college, you can come live with me.
I will charge you a very small rent.
Yeah.
To get you ready to pay rent out there.
I'll be 10% of what you're going to charge for an apartment.
Right.
I want you to get ready.
And I want you to contribute to the household.
Right.
You graduated from college.
I get it.
And I told them.
I was like, you can live with me for a year or two years.
I live with my mom.
I paid rent.
Yeah.
I pay $250 a month.
Yeah, so far, I've been very fortunate.
My oldest is incredibly money savvy.
Not money savvy.
He gets it.
Right.
I actually didn't even need to charge him rent.
I didn't need to do anything like that.
And now he's moved out.
He's got his own apartment.
And we're talking about having him pay for his own insurance,
for car insurance, or paying me for his portion of it,
including phone, including everything that we share.
And he's like, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Dad, he has an account within my family of accounts.
So I can see, just like when they were younger,
I can see all of their accounts and how much money they have.
And he's like, dad, just transfer the money from my account
to your account.
Yeah, my boys have been.
For whatever you want to pay me for.
I mean, he's making good money.
And my boys have been paying their car insurance since 716.
See, yeah, he has not been doing anything,
but he's 100% on board with it.
You know what I mean?
It'd be different to be like, what?
I mean, I don't get it.
But he's like, transfer whatever you need.
And if you need me to get my own deal, let me know.
You know what I mean?
He's awesome that way.
Yeah.
Brandon, I was very proud of him.
He's like, dad, I want to get off your phone plan.
Yeah, good thing.
He's like, I want to get my own phone plan
and start taking on my own bills.
And I want to do them slowly so when I graduate and get a job,
I'm not hit with phone bill, insurance bill, this bill,
this bill, this bill.
Because I want to get my phone bill
and learn how to live with that.
Then I'll start taking over this other bill.
And I don't expect him to through college.
He wanted to do this.
I didn't expect that.
Right.
And I was like, if that's what you want to do, that's fine.
But I tell both my kids, like Steven,
he originally wanted to go to school and be a fireman.
I was like, in two years, you need
to live with me for at least a year.
To get your fee?
Save your salary.
Absolutely.
Pay me minimum, save your salary,
and go buy a fricking house somewhere.
Yep.
You're going to have $40,000 in the bank.
I tried.
I tried to get my oldest to stay longer than he did.
But he wouldn't.
Do you guys realize April 8th is next to my birthday?
Did you realize it's also the weekend of my 25th anniversary?
God damn it.
Are you going to fuck this up?
Don't fuck this up.
We're talking about Loverboy, right?
Yeah.
You know, one on the floor, where they sit the whole time
and get spit on.
My anniversary is the 12th.
Well, that's later.
Well, it's a Tuesday, I think.
OK, you're good.
Well, it has to be the weekend, right?
Well, is this a Friday or Saturday, Loverboy?
What's the 8th?
It's a Friday.
OK, you're good.
Saturday, you're good.
No, Sunday.
So Shelly said, you know it's our 25th anniversary, Paul.
I'd be like, what?
It's Loverboy.
No, so Loverboy is in.
Don't you dare back out.
I already talked to Julie about it.
I'm backing out.
Hold on, hold on, hold on.
You are not.
Hold on.
I'm going to fucking strangle him.
When is your?
The 12th.
So it's on a Tuesday.
So you could celebrate 16th.
We're going to do the 16th.
We're going to see my dad the following weekend.
For his 80th.
And then I told, because I was planning before I real up,
because the reason I texted you is Loverboy stole the 8th.
That's like spring break, though.
No, March.
What?
March 7th.
What is wrong with you?
The 6th is spring break.
Really?
Yes.
Yes, it's the week after next.
Good Lord.
Spring break isn't very springy anymore.
It's always March, bro.
It's always March.
Yeah, I know.
But Planet, are you on?
You have four kids in school.
You do.
You should know this.
More than us, you should know this.
Dingo.
Take turns kissing my butt.
OK, hold on.
I knew that, actually.
Hold on.
Your birthday is April 2nd, right?
First week of April, yeah.
So we got a couple things to celebrate
during that Loverboy concert.
Yeah.
That's going to be fun.
Yeah.
So I want to plan a trip for Julie and I,
probably the first week in May.
Where are you guys going?
To go, I'm thinking maybe.
Prosper?
Or Salina?
Downtown Dallas, Corsia, Dart.
Duterte?
Are you going to go to Aubrey?
No, I'm thinking Beavers Bend, maybe get a cabin.
Ooh, you know what you.
Beavers Bend?
John's 12.
I'm back.
I'm sorry, what?
So I'm thinking about getting a cabin somewhere,
because Julie's going to have surgery.
Beavers Bend?
In Oklahoma.
And they're going to bend the beaver.
Is it like a lesbian retreat?
No, it's an area in Oklahoma.
It's an area in Oklahoma.
Remind me to hook you up with a friend
that I have that rents Kevin.
He owns a cabin out there, and he rents it.
He might be able to get you a deal.
Is it nice?
No, it's super shitty.
It's actually a former meth house.
Actually, it's a current meth house.
It's a meth house in Oklahoma.
All right.
Do you throw meth in?
Oh, you get a great discount.
It's a blue ice.
You just have to stay in the room
that they're not making the meth in, that's all.
All right.
That sounds like a great deal.
It sounds like we've said a lot this podcast
that we probably shouldn't have.
Yes.
We might have to go back and edit some of this.
Yeah.
I'm thinking all of it.
I'll tell you what, I'm a little toasty.
I didn't.
Yeah, you turned into 12-year-old Sean over there,
Beavers Bend.
You really did.
It was fun.
Talking about sticky semen.
You were talking about sticky semen.
That was 100% you.
Yeah.
What just happened?
Yeah, that just happened.
He was talking about semen.
No, SS, sticky semen.
Does that cause sticky?
Does it make it stickier?
All right, well, you know what?
It's dudes like us.
We got what's coming up.
What's next?
What's today?
22nd?
We've got March coming up.
So I'm good with next week.
It doesn't have to be Tuesday.
It'll be Wednesday.
I can do Wednesday.
It'll have to be Wednesday.
It'll be Wednesday.
And we have an ice storm coming tomorrow.
We didn't even talk about that.
That's right.
I'm digging it.
And I'm driving to Call Station and driving to Tucson, bro.
We didn't cover that either.
I will let you know how that goes.
All right, bitch.
Crazy.
All right, this is Dudes Like Us.
I'm Jeff.
I'm Paul.
I'm Sean.
Adios, mofo.
Keep your semen sticky.
God, that is just gross.
What?
No, what did I say?
What did I say?
No, you're gross.
OK.
Bye, guys.