Come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on.
Come on, come on, come on, come on, come on.
We're past that.
Are you trying to do a turkey?
We're past that.
What?
I'm a little bitter.
Oh, what about, about Thanksgiving?
I'll tell you what, I had,
set aside from one thing, I had the best Thanksgiving,
the most pleasant Thanksgiving I've had in decades.
Well, that's fantastic.
Do you want to know what that one thing was?
Bourbon.
So.
You pleasured yourself?
Whoa, whoa, that's a great Thanksgiving.
When you have a, when you've got the.
Tradition.
That internal, when you size somebody up
and you're kind of like, how much of a man is this person?
Ooh.
And you're like, wow, I mean, can he,
if shit were to hit the fan, you're like,
can I really trust this guy to get shit done?
Ah.
Well, one of us failed.
We've been desperately seeking Susan
on getting Alan up here for the podcast.
Oh yeah.
And last week, we had the perfect opportunity.
Really?
And somebody didn't.
Really?
Someone didn't bring their A game.
Whatever, he didn't want to do podcast.
Sometimes people don't want to get shots.
You just say, hey, we're going to get ice cream.
Oh, and then.
Oh, and then stick a needle in his neck
and you drag him up here?
No, just say, hey, we're going to get some ice cream.
And it's up here.
My father-in-law did not want to join podcast.
He was visiting and it's important
that I spend time with him.
So we didn't do podcast.
Not good.
Right before Thanksgiving.
But we are rolling into the new week
right after Thanksgiving.
It was a wonderful break.
It was.
I had the whole week.
Wonderful break.
But let's back up.
What about the late notice?
Somebody had worked all day
and was looking forward for this moment.
That's why you have a therapist.
Well, Jack Daniels is busy during the holidays.
So my therapist isn't always just readily available.
So you had to go see Penelope.
Yeah, we did.
Which happens to be our privileged drink of the evening.
It is.
I hear gong in the background.
Boom.
Introducing post-Thanksgiving.
What the fuck is this?
It's bourbon.
It's a rye bourbon.
No. No.
Well, it's primarily a rye bourbon.
It's a blend.
It's a blend of three different bourbons?
Four.
It says up here, right?
The process.
So Penelope bourbon is, it's a blended.
It's a rye bourbon.
Bourbon.
No, it has wheat and malted barley.
It has all.
And corn.
And corn and rye.
So they take a 91% rye bourbon.
They take a corn bourbon.
No, the bourbon is not 91% rye.
No.
Well, this one is.
No.
It's not.
No, what they're saying is they take 91% rye bourbon.
Yes.
So of the mixture, 91% of that is rye bourbon.
Yes.
And then 5% is corn.
I forget which one.
Then 4% is rye or vice versa.
Right.
Or wheat, I'm sorry.
Correct.
Oh, I'm actually wrong.
It's actually three bourbons, not four.
It's three bourbon mash bills comprised of four grains.
Oh, and malted barley is the base.
And malted barley, right.
All right, so a little background.
All right, so the reason why I was very excited
to pick this bourbon.
Interesting, the bottle says four to,
the bottle says three to five,
but the website says four to six.
And Paul dropped a cool G on this.
Cool G.
How much was this?
It's expensive.
I thought it was like over 50.
Yeah, it was in the 65.
Yeah, it was more than we normally spend on a bourbon.
But here's the thing.
So Jeff and I went to this very cool.
I'm drunk.
Cool bar.
Actually, it's a restaurant.
It's kind of a speakeasy kind of a thing.
Yeah, it's a speakeasy.
It has a hidden bar inside the restaurant.
I think we may have talked about this before,
but what is the name of that place?
Rare Books.
Rare Books, and that's the Frisco, Texas.
You have to know the code to get in.
But when we walked in,
the door was already open.
What is the code?
Is it a gesture?
It changes every week, I think, right?
It does.
And you have to pick up,
then they have a, you know,
the old British telephone booth, the red ones?
You go in there and pick up the phone and you say.
And you give them the code and they open the door for you.
On the monopoeia and they let you in.
Now, but when we walked in,
the door was already open
because somebody had just walked in.
So we just walked in after them.
It's like a bookshelf.
Did you guys know the code?
Well, we did know the code,
but they didn't ask us because we already kind of walked in.
The experience was kind of ruined for us
because the door was already open.
Yeah.
No, they did not Frisco.
But I'll tell you what.
Was it a dial tone or was it like a push button?
We never had to.
We never walked into the booth.
But you saw the booth.
We did saw the booth.
We didn't pick up the phone.
We did not pick up the phone.
No, you didn't look at the phone?
So you went in for the experience
and didn't observe what the phone was
to get into the booth?
I saw what they said.
It's the British telephone booth.
See, this is hand in hand, a half-assedness.
Yeah, we half-assed them.
We could have waited for the door to close again.
You were more interested in getting into the bar
and doing a selfie to send to me
that you're there without me.
I was actually.
Then the fucking,
pay attention to what the fuck is going on.
Someone was in New Jersey enjoying their life.
Yeah, that's very true.
In his new home, New Jersey.
So we got in there.
I was in New Jersey?
Yeah, that's when you were in New Jersey.
Yes, that was when you were in New Jersey saying,
oh, this is way beautiful, more beautiful than Texas.
This is better than anywhere I've ever been.
I love New Jersey.
I love all the liberals.
Why is he still part of this podcast, by the way?
I love New Jersey.
After a statement like that.
It's beautiful.
Anyway, so we went into Rare Books Bar
and they have a lot of bourbons.
They probably had over 100.
Yeah, and they.
They may have equaled our collection.
I don't know, yeah, our collection.
And they ranged from probably what?
I think the low end.
11, 10 or 11 bucks a shot.
No, it was more than that.
Was it 15?
I think the cheapest one I saw was about 15 bucks a shot.
15 up to.
Over 100 bucks a shot.
Yeah, yeah.
So this was one that was on the.
I'll tell you what.
Lower end.
I would say this was a $20 shot, maybe, Penelope.
When our roster gets up to 200, 300,
people will pay to come to this podcast to bask in its glory.
Are you so sure about that?
No.
But think about it.
Just to look at it.
I know, right?
Just because of the stupid.
I mean, you guys are going to the glory hole.
What is it called?
It's not the glory hole.
No, yeah, it's not a sexual joint.
It's not the truck stop down the.
I didn't realize.
Oh, OK.
My memory is.
So where were you guys at?
Rare books.
Yes, we need to go.
But it's a once in a while because you're not
getting out of there for cheap.
It was expensive.
Yeah.
But I tell you what, the shots are not just a shot.
I mean, it's a strong pour.
Well, some of them you get two ounces.
That's where I got glory hole.
But anyways, go on.
Some of you get an ounce.
Depending on the rarity of it, I think some of you
get an ounce, some of you get two ounces.
Right.
I think the ones we got, we got lucky,
we got two ounce pours.
And so I was very impressed with Penelope.
So let's talk about it.
If you order like a Martini, it's like if you order a shot,
it's different from ordering like a Martini or Manhattan.
Some of those they have, they're more.
I don't know how much.
I was going to say three ounces.
So if you order a Martini, it's going to be three.
But I think it's a little bit more because it's.
Like if you order a straight shot.
Yeah.
That's what you guys think.
Sometimes you get more.
Is there a specific type of bourbon?
That would be nice.
I'm sure they had the drinks and everything.
I mean, it was a full bar.
And they had foods and stuff like that.
They did.
It was good.
Wow.
I did that shot during the intro.
OK, let me tell you why you're struggling.
This is 119 proof.
This is probably the second most potent bourbon
we've ever tried.
There's one that's 130, right?
We have one that's 140.
We did a Jack Daniels one that was.
Well, the rumble out there is 139 and a half.
Good Lord.
That's the highest.
And Noah's Mill is 120, isn't it?
126?
116 actually.
Yeah, that's nothing.
I'm telling you, this is up there, man.
119 proof.
And it's got a very exciting taste.
I mean, honestly.
And it should burn like hell.
But it doesn't.
It did.
No, it didn't when you did the whole glass.
Yeah, yeah, OK.
Remember when I was like screaming for a piece of bread
or something?
Yeah, I was like, I need bread.
Eee.
Now that it's not poor.
I like it here is my inner monologue
screaming at me like Scotty from Star Trek.
You can't hold it.
What you doing again?
OK, so the char on the barrel on the stave, it's a number four.
And on the head, it's a number two.
It's 46 years aged.
All right.
So it's a four grain blended whiskey
of three different bourbon mash bills comprised of four grains.
All right.
And we think this is an MGP product.
Well, it was distilled in Illinois.
I don't recall.
I'm sorry.
Typically, when you see distilled Indiana,
that's where MGP is.
Standard one.
Yeah.
I don't know about the city.
I'm sure there's others there, but the big one's MGP.
I don't recall what specific city it was in.
It is good.
Yeah, it's not bad.
I mean, it's actually a fact.
I should never have said that.
I think it's great.
Yeah, it's really good.
I don't think it's not bad.
It's good enough for it.
Well, Penelope is, there's a few different versions.
It's a Pean Lope.
A Pean Lope.
This is the private selection barrel strength.
So that's the one we tried at Rare Books and the one that we,
well, Paul liked was his.
Wow, so they have a.
No, no, no.
We tried four grain at Rare Books.
No, you tried this one, the black label.
Hold on, four grained?
What do you speak of?
No, it's this private select barrel strength.
It's the black one.
Oh, yeah, I'm sorry.
I'm sorry, yes.
I thought there was one called four grain,
but underneath that it says four grain.
Yeah.
It's the private select barrel strength,
limited availability.
Well, we managed to scoop up a bottle.
Yes.
We did, and it's good.
Yeah.
OK.
I enjoy it.
You know the best part about this moment
is that I've had more than you.
And I have more to drink.
Right now that's a good moment.
Yeah.
But in about an hour may not be a good thing.
That's true, because I'm going to sip on this.
Yeah.
Damn, yeah, another strong pour, too.
All right.
I'm going to give you some.
So this is, welcome to.
Oh, I thought he was going to resist.
He was like, yeah, I'll take some.
I'll take it.
I'm good with that.
All right, so this is the last podcast of November.
Believe it or not, we are rolling into December
and the Christmas.
Is tomorrow December 1?
Tomorrow's December 1.
I don't know.
I guess it is.
I think it is.
Time flies, man.
It is just crazy.
Thanksgiving.
Yeah, this year's coming to an end, guys.
So.
Steven went back to school today.
He's already gone?
He went today.
Why?
Dawson went on to class.
Oh, yeah, you guys.
My kid's the one that like.
Dawson went back on Sunday.
He killed his schedule.
Well, he changed majors.
And unfortunately, the classes he was enrolled in didn't.
No, it just didn't work out.
So it was a complete waste of money, unfortunately.
But it's a great experience for him.
And I'm glad he was able to experience it,
even though I want to choke him.
Right.
I hear you.
Yeah, he'll be back next week.
But he's going down there to finish up.
Right.
So do you guys want to roll right into our kind
of our dedicated segment?
Or do you want to?
Do we have intro music for our dedicated segment?
No, we need to come up with one.
Oh, my god.
I just island boy.
How about that one?
No, that is super gay.
Stupid.
Yeah.
That's more of a visual thing.
Yeah, he showed it to me on the way over here.
And I could have lived without it.
The post memes were far more funny than the original.
These idiots are probably rich kids.
The midgets that sing it.
I mean, the midgets were hilarious
because they're sitting on a kitchen countertop,
put their feet in the sink.
And they're like, they're in the hot tub.
And it's island boy.
OK, so is this the last week?
Last couple of days?
I have no idea.
This island boy thing.
Well, it's a trend.
So it'll pass, and it'll pass strong,
because they went to a venue last week.
And they got on the main stage, and they
had two wireless mics.
And they were all dressed up and had all the cliche things.
And the island boy trying to make it.
Oh, they were booing them off the stage,
because they're fucking horrible.
They need to be booed off the stage.
Yeah, they're terrible.
Get the fuck out of here.
You are a poor representation of life.
I think what they misunderstood was,
people were making fun of them.
Yes, it's a mockery.
When they were sharing the video.
But that's all right.
Hopefully, they'll be able to absorb it,
and they'll take the money.
And they've made better with their teeth.
I mean, the first thing they did was, they got money,
or they fixed their fucking teeth.
Well, no, they had grills.
Yeah, they had all this shit on there.
Now they're like white veneers.
Yeah, I don't know what the hell that's going on there.
Where are they from?
Big honeycomb apple chompers.
Where are they from?
They're from Cuba.
Are you serious?
Well, that's where they're from.
Just an island boy, just trying to make it.
I don't think they are from Cuba.
Maybe their parents, maybe.
Well, somewhere in the lineage, they're there.
At some point.
Or maybe they heard their father come home.
Their father came home singing.
Just an island boy.
The first Asian.
Now she's the first Asian female.
Oh.
What?
Really?
That's what they're discussing now.
OK.
Who's the first Asian?
Kamala.
She's Asian.
She's part Indian.
Yeah, she's Indian.
I thought she was Hispanic.
So she's an Asian and Indian.
Oh, Jamaican.
There you go.
Yeah.
So she's an island girl who made vice president.
What they were doing is they were saying,
she's the first Asian minority woman to be president,
because she was president for 85 minutes while Biden got his
full mascapade.
Vomit, vomit, vomit.
OK.
You know, that whole thing.
Whatever.
Yeah.
She will not be president.
I will tell you that right now.
I wonder if she's a squirter.
Like that lady on stage?
What was that all about?
First off, she was peeing on the guys.
On the guy's face.
All right, so back up.
It's Sophia.
It's Brass Against.
It's a freaking geyser.
Brass Against is they take contemporary songs
and they influence it with brass.
And so they take these heavy metal songs
and they just put some trumpet influence.
Yes, exactly.
And she was actually on some sort of star search.
Not star search, but something similar.
And I think she exited out ranked number eight
on that particular series.
No, that was a one and done.
That was a one and done.
She's never done something like that before.
In fact, the band was mortified.
I bet.
I bet she had done that.
Dude, listen.
OK, first off, why was somebody laying on the stage?
Our listeners out there, let me fill you in what's going on.
So for some reason, this thing came out
or this guy was like, hey, I want you to pee
on my face in the middle.
So this was like they knew this was going to happen
because they had posted on Twitter.
This guy did, some fat biker guy.
And he was up at the front row like he said he was going to be.
And he was like, hey, remember me?
I said it on Twitter.
She acknowledged it.
And she knew what was going to happen.
And she called, all right, get them up on stage.
She dragged a whole bottle of water to prepare for it.
Oh my god, dude.
Well, you're basing that on how much she peed on him.
You had R. Kelly.
Do you remember the gallon, the shit
that he went through when he took his penis out
and slapped some bitch in the mouth with his urine?
Who?
R. Kelly?
R. Kelly.
Do you remember that?
Well, isn't that the guy that he got convicted of?
Exactly.
That's my point.
What the fuck?
Yeah.
He did this on stage?
Yeah, well, he did that on stage.
But there was a little bit more than that.
And I think maybe the girl was underage.
That had a lot to do with it.
But still.
You think?
It's about public decency and inappropriate.
I mean, if you get caught urinating in public,
that's a big deal.
Yeah, it is.
On someone's face.
It could be behind a dumpster.
Right.
Behind a fucking bar.
Did she get in trouble for it?
Well, that's my point.
Look, that's my fucking point.
I'm sick of these fucking people taking advantage
of the system because they're women.
You know, it's just like all these women say,
women's rights.
Man, you have more rights than guys do.
You know?
Meaning she can piss on some guy's face
and get away with it?
Absolutely.
You know, there was a story.
We may have discussed this within the last year
where some woman pleaded out to a group of folks saying,
hey, he's beating me up.
He's beating me up.
And they killed him.
Yeah.
They fucking went tribal and killed him.
I didn't mean to get this out of him.
It just, it bothers me.
First of all, she did it because it was kind of cool, actually,
to see it.
I mean, she was up there.
No.
It's gross.
No.
The biker guy gets up on stage.
He's got the vest on.
He's steamy.
He's old.
He's fat.
And he's got a cup.
And he lays down on the ground, puts a cup on his forehead.
And she's dancing.
And they got the brass in the background.
And the Bob's looking at Brian.
He's like, hey, what's going on there?
And Davey's looking over at Brian.
Brian's like, what the fuck?
And then Bob and Davey and Brian,
all looking at each other like, she's going to do it.
And she fucking hikes up her skirt.
She pulls her pants down.
She gets ready.
She pulls her stuff out.
And she blasts this good.
And first it starts out as kind of a stream.
And all of a sudden, it was like a tri-stream.
And then shit just got violent.
He was thoroughly dissecting this process, which he did.
I think he watched it more than once.
It was one stream and a tri-stream.
There was a point where her urine went supernova.
I mean, it was like a gyration.
That supernova was when the dude stood up.
And he was like, woo!
And he fucking shook his face.
And then he went, pfft.
And when he did that, there was a.
It was gross.
I mean, if that was COVID, the entire auditorium got it.
It was gross.
Urine.
Then he wiped his face and flung his hands into the ground.
Yeah.
I saw that.
That was disgusting.
I mean, come on.
Yeah, I really didn't need to see that.
When you sent that to us, I was like, OK, what's going to happen?
Oh.
And it was like in 4K.
I only watched it.
Did you like zoom in on it?
I didn't zoom in.
And I didn't watch it more than once.
Yeah, I saw it once.
Hold on.
You both said that.
Is that something you could do with 4K?
Ha ha ha.
I don't know.
I'm assuming.
He streamed it up to his TV so it'd make it bigger.
Oh, yeah.
On your 80-inch?
I did.
Ha ha ha ha ha.
Well, actually, that's where I first saw it.
Anyway.
And then you're like, I got to send this.
So gross.
Yeah, it kind of was gross.
I wonder if YouTube's blocked it yet.
Probably not.
I don't know.
I mean, I feel bad for the rest of the band because, is it
Nassau?
NASCAR.
They banned them.
They were like, well, you can't come back.
Sorry.
How do you know that?
You read their story about it?
Well, I googled it.
I read a news article.
That's where she said, yeah, she drank a whole big bottle
of water to prepare for this.
Yeah, so this was premeditated.
They knew they were going to do it.
The dude was down there.
He had made some sort of comment.
I think the band did.
She did, and the big fat guy did.
Yeah, that's my point.
How bizarre.
Well, you know what?
It got them a lot of publicity.
Yeah, but.
You know what?
It got them a lot of publicity.
It's just some crazy shit.
And some people like to be pissed on.
Evidently, that dude.
They call that a golden shower.
Yeah.
That was more than a shower.
That was a freaking sand blast.
Golden flood.
It was like a pressure.
That's disgusting.
All right, let's move on.
That's disgusting.
Yeah, you like that.
No, warm.
No, I would not.
Oh, I didn't think about that.
It was all super warm.
Gross.
That's nasty.
Oh, man.
Nasty.
Probably creeping in every pore.
It's in his eyes.
All right.
People go like, do we?
You.
Yeah, that's pineapple and asparagus.
All right.
So one of the one of the one of the things
that we wanted to talk about salt deficient was was meat.
Right.
Yeah, speaking of meat, did you get a side view of that
when she was peeing?
No, I didn't examine the damn thing.
We got it.
Anyway, so you know what?
So the topic of meat came up because I don't think,
you know, I'm not sure dudes like us.
Right.
I know I definitely like a dude like me.
Doesn't know exactly where everything comes from.
Well, this is a penis and this is the buttocks.
Well, I do.
I don't.
Yeah, no, I do not.
Right.
So I mean, we talk about all these different types
of steaks, right?
Rib eye steak, porterhouse steak, sirloin steak.
I mean, usually the producer has put up a photo of a cow.
It's a large one and it's portioned out.
It's got the neck, breast chuck, lower chuck, short plate
flank, shank, round rump, sirloin, tenderloin,
short loin.
And all these circles around it that
detail all the different types of meat
that you could pull from different areas of the cow.
And I'm with Paul.
I'm starting to cook in the last couple years.
I'm not fantastic at it, but I'm starting
to work some of this stuff out.
And I didn't even realize where exactly this meat came from.
See, what you'll do is you'll learn,
and you'll learn which ones have good marbling, which ones
don't, and stuff like that.
Right.
So for instance, I tried to smoke a bottom round roast.
And there's hardly any fat in that at all.
It's just muscle.
And you have to crock pot that thing,
because when I smoked it, it was extremely dry.
And you have to crock pot it and let it just cook for hours.
With water in there.
With juice and some sort of steam.
If you were to anticipate a dry, what is it called?
This is a rump roast.
If you were to anticipate to cook a rump roast,
and you knew it was going to be dry,
would you be able to proactively put some oils in it,
like avocado oil?
I think what you do, because the way the muscles are in those
is they're very long.
So you get long strips of meat.
It's really good for shredded barbecue.
So you can have it all mixed already with the barbecue sauce.
Because even if you cook it in the water,
the meat is still going to be dry.
Right.
Unless you serve it with something.
Unless you mix it with a barbecue sauce or something
like that, or a gravy or something like that.
So it'd be good for barbecue sandwiches
if you're going out to a picnic or something like that.
You have a big vat of it, and you just, here's your barbecue
sandwich.
So before we dive into what different cuts are good for,
so Jeff, why don't you walk us through front to back,
or top to bottom, however you want to do it.
Let's walk through our audience what exactly
the different parts of the animal are,
and what cuts come from them.
Well, we'll start at the top, and we'll go around.
We'll go clockwise.
Oh, I forgot.
We have Jeff here, and Paul, and Sean.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah, we do.
I'm Paul.
We're dudes like us.
And I'm Sean.
And I'm Jeff, of course.
Jeff.
And Jeff is our meatologist.
He is our meatologist.
No, I don't know.
I'm still learning.
So we'll start at the top, the chuck, like chuck roast
and stuff like that.
It's basically the.
Chuck's been on our show.
The, what do you want to call it, like the shoulder?
The top?
Yeah, I would call it the.
Right behind the head, right?
I would say the shoulder at the top.
The hump.
Yeah, the hump at the top.
All the way down, like almost.
To the leg.
To the top of the leg.
Oh, yeah, no.
Through the leg, yeah.
So that's where a lot of your roasts come from, the chuck
roast.
And it's nice and marbled.
So if you smoke one of the.
Actually, if you smoke a chuck roast,
they turn out really, really good.
You're talking about the top chuck.
I've done that.
Top chuck ends at the shoulder, at the bottom of the shoulder.
So the bottom chuck.
Anyway.
So there's a lot of things in the circle for chuck
that I've never even heard of, like mock tender roast.
Yeah, that's.
Flank in style ribs.
Yeah.
I've never heard of those.
Yeah, I've never heard of arm pot roast.
I've heard of mock tender roast.
I've never understood what the hell that is.
That's where the short ribs are, because you're
starting to get into the ribs, right?
So that's probably the back of the chuck.
So you have the short ribs.
OK.
And I've also heard of the blade steaks, right?
I've also heard of those.
But mostly, you get roasts out of that area, that section.
Right.
You know, different.
Big roasts that you would throw into a crock pot.
Right.
You get bone in and all that good stuff, right?
Like the arm pot roast.
That's getting close to the front leg.
All right.
So let's move to the breast, which
is obviously on the bottom part of the animal
in front of the legs.
Right.
So that's where your brisket comes from.
There you go.
That's why it's so nasty, because it's heavily used.
That's why the brisket is such a nasty kind of meat.
And it takes forever to cook.
OK.
So that's why it's like that.
So it's two muscles, actually, that make up the brisket.
All right.
So just to reiterate that, the brisket's
like what we all love.
We all love beef brisket, right?
That comes from the bottom of the animal, from the breast,
in front of the legs.
Yeah, right in front of the legs.
All right.
So it gets lots of use as it walks around and stands.
All right, so they call it brisket whole, brisket flat half,
brisket point half.
And then you get the shank, which is.
And the shank cross cut.
Which is the leg, right?
Part of the front leg.
OK.
So it's probably the top of the leg where there's meat on it.
And that's usually a bone, a big femur, or whatever that is,
that goes through it, right?
OK.
So it'd make a good roast.
OK.
You get the bone marrow in there and all that good stuff.
OK.
All right, now moving.
We're staying on the bottom of the animal,
moving towards behind the legs now.
What do we have there?
They call it a short leg.
So it's like where the ribs are at, the lower ribs?
No.
Between the two legs?
No.
Or the forelegs?
No.
That's where your skirt steak and your flank steaks
come from.
OK, that's where your fajitas come from.
Right.
Right behind on the bottom.
So what's down there?
Oh, that's just basically exposed belly.
Yeah.
And what you do, if you watch someone butcher a cow,
the skirt steak is actually inside and they cut it out.
It's actually a muscle that's in the inside.
I think it's the diaphragm muscle, maybe.
OK.
Possibly, if I remember correctly.
Then you get the flank steak, which is right on the sides.
Right?
Yeah, and that has no flank steak usually
doesn't have much fat either, right?
Yeah, but if you cook that right, if you grill it,
that's really good stuff.
OK.
That's really good stuff.
It has a really nice, and if you overcook it,
it gets really tough.
So you have to be careful, and I usually sear it real good,
season the hell out of it, sear it, and get it up to about 130,
and then pull it off.
Right.
Because it's usually very thin cuts.
It's thin.
Doesn't take very long.
Right.
And then you slice it, and we usually, like you said,
make fajitas or tacos or put it on salad.
Put it on rice, put it on noodles, whatever.
Yeah, you can put it on anything.
So we usually slice it, and sometimes we
just have that and a side.
Right.
So those are two huge cuts, right?
So brisket and fajitas.
Right.
And that's in front of the legs and behind the legs
for the skirt steak, which is fajitas.
So there's two types of brisket.
Before we go too far to the back, because this is,
you know, you got the flat and the point.
So the point.
A brisket, yeah.
A brisket.
So.
The point is the thick part, where all the fat is.
There's two muscles that make up the brisket.
What are these two separate cuts that you
would go to the store and buy?
No.
When you buy a whole brisket, it
includes the flat and the point.
OK, because they listed them on the sheet
that I've got as two different.
Well, they do up here as well.
OK.
So you can easily, if you buy a whole one,
you can easily separate them, because there's
a big layer of connective tissue,
and you could cut those apart easily.
I mean, if you go to a butcher, you
can ask for a flat half or point half.
But typically, it's a balanced.
One fat, one's not.
Typically, it's one big long.
It's one big brisket, right?
Yeah.
But you could buy the.
You know, 10 to 14 pound or 10 to 16 pound brisket.
Right.
You could also find at Kroger or Tom Tom,
wherever you buy, just the flat.
Some people don't want the big nasty.
They want it lean.
They want the lean end.
And sometimes when you make like pastrami,
it's made up of brisket.
Really?
See, that's a whole different thing
we haven't talked about, which is lunch meat.
And corn.
And where lunch meat comes from.
Corn beef is usually the flat of the brisket.
OK.
Sorry.
So OK.
Well, I'm not going to get us off track.
All right.
So we're still at the bottom.
We're moving towards the back.
So it goes from short plate, which
is what we just talked about, skirt steak and flank steak,
to flank.
The whole area that's called the flank.
That whole area is where you get the flank steaks.
OK.
Whatever reason they do, they're just
pointing to the short plate.
Yeah, they kind of are.
So then you have the back shank, right?
So you can cut that and have a nice shank roast, right?
With the bone in it and stuff like that.
OK.
All right.
But we've kind of exhausted that area.
So now it really runs.
Now we got round.
Then you get out to, which is basically the rump.
If our people, OK, yeah, the rump, the butt.
Yeah, the butt of the cow.
The bottom of the butt, though, because there's a section
on top we'll get to in a section.
Second.
But yeah, it's basically the butt of the cow,
the hindquarters, I guess where you'd find a ham on a pig,
almost, right?
Right.
But the ham usually includes the shank as well.
Everything's called round.
Round steak, bottom round roast, bottom round steak.
And it's very lean.
So if you get a round steak, just know
it's going to be very lean.
And you have to cook it correctly.
Otherwise, it's going to be really dry.
OK.
All right.
Now I'm seeing something else there.
So I always hear about California.
They're real big on tri-tip.
Tri-tip, tri-tip, tri-tip.
I see trip-tip.
Those are the sirloin.
Tri-tip.
I see tip steak.
Well, tip steak, again, that's tip roast.
Is that the same thing as tri-tip?
No.
OK.
Tri-tip's coming from a different area.
OK.
So it's just another part of the round, right?
You can cut all kinds of different roasts out of it.
Hold on.
So there's tri-tip steak, and then there's strip steak.
Which one are you saying?
Tri-tip.
I know that's huge in California,
and I don't know what's special or different about it.
Tri-tip is usually almost like a triangle shape.
OK.
It's got three tips.
OK.
And cut from where?
It's up here.
We'll see.
OK.
Well, let's get to that.
So scroll up.
So that's where a lot of your other roasts.
So you've got the chuck on the one end,
but it has a lot of marbling in it.
Then you have the round.
Chucking right behind the neck.
Then you have the round, which is a lot of.
There it is.
Tri-tip steak.
OK.
Sorry.
Keep going.
So the round is another place where a lot of roasts
come from, but it's very lean.
OK.
And you have the rump, right?
I don't see much about the rump on this diagram.
Well, I think it's part of the whole thing, right?
OK.
Round and rump.
Basically, the back end of the animal, top and bottom,
kind of produces the same sort of rump roast.
It's very lean.
OK.
Very lean.
OK.
So then you move over to the sirloin, which
is right in front of the rump.
So it's the top of the animal towards the back,
but not all the way at the back.
It's kind of like the hips, I guess, the back hips.
Yep.
Back hips.
Sirloin.
That's where your sirloins come from.
And when you get a sirloin steak,
you can go out back and get a sirloin.
Oh, yeah.
That's what that is.
The sirloins.
But it's usually the cheaper steak.
It is.
It's cheaper.
Where the bull's.
Bull?
The bull's hoofs will land on the back of a cow
when it's mounting it.
Oh.
Oh, OK.
Well, that's a good observation.
Nice.
But it's typically more lean as well.
That's why.
That's where the tri-tip comes from.
It should be tenderized.
And that is where tri-tip.
I see tri-tip steak, tri-tip roast.
Oh, and that's where the tenderloin has came from.
It's from.
And the tri-tip.
It's very tender underneath there.
That's a good piece of meat.
There's a shape of it.
It's a good piece of meat to tri-tip.
Yeah.
I'd recommend it.
OK, well, there we got top sirloin.
We got sirloin steak round bone and sirloin steak flat bone.
OK, that comes from the sirloin at the top,
right in front of the rump.
All right.
So then we move underneath the sirloin.
Which is the tenderloin.
The tenderloin.
Good lord.
Which is right by the ribs, right?
So underneath the ribs.
Yeah, there's a nice big long section
of really, really good meat.
That's where your fillets come from.
OK.
In the loins.
All right, there's a short loin that's
right in front of the sirloin.
And then there's a tenderloin underneath both.
Well, that's where the fillet comes from.
Your tenderloin is your filet mignon.
OK, that's what I remember.
It's like a long, it's almost like a cylinder.
And then you cut it into steaks.
And that's what filet mignon is.
So have you ever purchased a whole tenderloin?
I have not purchased one.
But Cameron, my brother-in-law, came over one holiday
and frickin' brought a huge tenderloin.
Yeah, I've done it a couple times.
Well, what did I buy from Canada?
You bought one, too.
No, you didn't buy that.
But you bought a rib roast.
Or a prime rib.
It was a big, long prime rib roast.
But I've purchased a couple of the.
So it's a roast?
You could slice it in steaks.
Well, that's why.
So it's a bunch of prime rib steaks.
Not prime rib, but like rib eye, I think.
Rib eye.
So they're a bunch of rib eye steaks.
Is that between the loin and the rib?
We haven't gotten to there yet.
I'm very excited about that.
I was waiting to thaw.
I know you were.
So I purchased a couple of fillet, the whole fillet.
And I highly recommend.
Because sometimes they go on sale like a Kroger,
and you get a really great deal.
I've got a shit ton of fillet in my freezer downstairs.
But you want to get one that's already peeled.
Peeled.
Because there's a, what I learned.
Membrane.
There's a membrane that is very hard to cut through.
And it'll affect the quality of the meat.
If you bite into it, it's going to be chewy.
If you don't remove the membrane.
So you need to remove the membrane.
There's strips through it.
So you need to remove all that.
So you're going to lose some meat
in the process of doing it.
Yeah, but the idea is that it yields something very nice.
Yeah, it does.
So it was probably a 10 pound, 10 or 12 pound tenderloin.
And I probably had to cut off one to two pounds of this stuff,
just trimming it.
So what you could argue.
But that's the expectation.
But they also sell the, I've seen them, the pre-peeled
or pre whatever they want to, whether the butcher does it.
They're obviously more money because they've
done extra work to it.
So all you have to do with those,
then you slice them into your steaks.
However thick you want.
That's what I did.
I peeled it, and I did all that stuff.
Then I sliced like 12 fillets out of it.
Then I've seasoned them and frozen.
OK, so to recap where we are, the loin area
made up of three areas.
The short loin, the sirloin, and the tenderloin.
And it's all the top at the rear,
but not all the way at the back.
OK.
Well, this is where you get.
So now we're working from the top of the animal,
and we're going to the front.
Right.
So go ahead.
So this is where you get a lot of your steaks
that you're familiar with, right?
Like the New York strip, the T-bone, the porterhouse,
the filet mignon, those type of steaks.
Yep.
The Kansas City and all that stuff.
So the top loin.
It's all loins.
Yeah, it looks like the New York strip,
because the T-bone and the porterhouse
is basically a filet in a New York strip all in one piece.
Right.
Yeah, yeah, right.
Gotcha.
So the T-bone is a smaller version of the porterhouse.
So the porterhouse is just bigger
is what the difference is, right?
So it's cut at a different part of the body.
Including more of the meat.
It includes a bigger filet.
A bigger cut, yeah.
In a bigger New York strip, right?
So it's just cut, I think, either farther up the ribs,
I think.
So anyway.
OK, all right.
Sorry.
So moving forward on the top, now we have rib.
A lot going on in the rib.
And now you got the ribs.
Of course, you got the, one of the things I want to try
is beef ribs.
I haven't cooked beef ribs yet.
Really?
I haven't smoked any.
I used to eat them.
I've never had the beef ribs.
Really?
I'm surprised.
Yeah.
Now, do they have a short, you know,
they always talk about short stack, long rack, or whatever.
Well, they have different cuts, right?
So they have short ribs.
Well, they have what they call brontosaurus bones,
because they're big.
And there's a ton of meat on them.
Basically, when you eat them, it looks like a brisket.
In 1990, El Paso, Texas.
The Cincinnati Reds won the last World Series.
They had a restaurant called City Limits.
And on Tuesday nights, Tuesday or Mondays, I don't remember,
they'd have a dollar rib night.
Dollar rib night.
A dollar for one rib?
Pardon me.
Yes, including the beef ribs.
Oh, the beef ribs.
That's a good deal.
And were they big, though?
They were big.
You could only fit like four on a plate, because they were long.
And they were, bam.
It was a great moment.
Dollar rib night at City Limits.
Dollar rib night.
Yeah.
I'd like to get the big brontosaurus,
because it's basically a bone with a huge chunk of meat on it.
I think I've never seen that served in a restaurant,
the brontosaurus rib.
You'll see it at barbecue joints.
Really?
You'll see it at a nice restaurant.
So what you normally see is just a full rack.
Well, they're desirable.
What you see in a restaurant is a full rack and half rack.
And what they're talking about is just-
Those are pork ribs.
Oh, it's always pork ribs?
Yeah, those are pork ribs.
Well, so they don't have a full rack and a half rack of beef ribs?
No, you usually buy them one at a time, because they're so big.
OK, good to know.
So pull up a picture of a smoked beef rib, Mr. Producer,
so you can kind of see what it looks.
It's not like your pork ribs, where it's just a little bit meat.
They're double, triple the size of the rib of a pork.
Yeah, it's huge.
And lots of meat on it.
Say, look at that.
Oh, yeah.
Well, OK.
That one right there.
It's not that they're very long.
They're just really tall.
Like, they're thick.
Well, they're long, too.
Longer.
I mean, they're probably six inches, probably.
Just think about it.
They're that much larger than a pig.
So exponentially, they're going to be larger, and girth,
and length, and.
God, that looks good.
Yeah, so I want to do that.
And there's different cuts, because when
you start leaving all the meat on the ribs,
you can't turn them into ribeye steaks, right?
So as a butcher, you have to choose.
Well, did we already pass the tomahawk?
Tomahawk is a ribeye.
Tomahawk?
Yeah.
The tomahawk is a ribeye with a big ass rib on it,
is what it is.
Oh, OK.
Again, it's kind of like what we were talking about earlier
with the porterhouse steak.
Is that where I'm at?
Just longer, deeper, whatever.
Yeah, it's a big ribeye with just a big rib on it,
is all it is.
So right, there you go.
It's the steak with the bone still on the edge,
and it's a rib that goes all the way out.
So the tomahawk, I think, is a waste of money.
It looks impressive, but you're paying for the bone.
And you're not going to eat it.
So by the time you cut the meat off,
you're basically just eating a ribeye.
Yeah, what a waste.
So they look impressive.
I want to cook one, because they're usually nice.
Because Costco has them.
Because you can hold one, like a chicken bone.
Yeah, like a savage.
Like a lollipop.
Like a savage.
Like a dude.
Like a dude like me.
Yeah, yeah.
So yeah, definitely.
All right, go back to the animal.
Definitely want to buy some of those and cook them.
All right, so going back to the animal.
All right, so we got back ribs.
We got ribeye steak.
We got ribeye roast.
It's got some vanilla in there.
I know.
I'm tasting vanilla as well.
Oh, yeah.
The longer it's out, it's kind of like some of these flavors
are starting to seep out.
So I took a pull and poured it out.
I'm telling you, it's a wonderful bourbon, man.
It is.
It's tasty.
I freaking loved it when we were at Rare Books.
Rare Books.
All right, so rib steak and rib roast.
So Sean, what you got was that big ass rib roast.
You could probably get like seven or eight rib eyes out
of that, depending on how thick you cut them.
No shit.
Well, yeah, you just cut them.
Cut them.
Dude, they're huge.
If I were.
You still have it?
Yeah, we just bought it.
Whoa.
Well, you have to go with us next time we go down to Kennedy.
OK, well, I've never been invited.
Well, you were.
You were in Colorado.
But you were like gallifanting around.
I was hunting elk.
Fuck.
What do you want me to do?
I'm trying to feed my family.
Skip it.
With 40 pounds of elk.
The rib eye roast that I got is probably almost 20 inches long.
Yeah, that's fantastic.
It is super long.
But it's like thick, very round.
Like it's like that.
I was going to say, it's got to be really thick.
It was, I think, back.
It was just under $10 a pound.
And it was probably a $110 piece of meat.
Wow.
And that was like discounted.
Yeah.
Oh, that's how much you spent?
But the key is.
A lot more than that.
But I mean, that's how much I spent on that one
particular piece of meat.
But the key is that was freshly butchered.
No, it's sotera.
From local cows.
So it's fresh.
It's extremely fresh.
Well, now that I have this floor freezer,
I'm tempted to find out how much.
You know, you talk about getting half a cow.
Yeah.
We got a quarter cow.
Well, I mean, yeah.
The thing about buying that.
I would love to go in with like you two.
You have to eat it, though.
I mean, look, from me on the outside looking at your family,
your family is very finicky.
Finicky?
We eat nothing but beef, like way too much beef, all the time.
Well, I'm just saying.
And usually hamburger, like red meat.
We eat way too much red meat.
Well, this is a good one.
So we're a perfect candidate.
Oh, this is a really good one.
What?
Well, it just breaks it down a little bit more.
It breaks it down to what people are familiar with on a plate.
Meaning here, go down to the far right.
That's exactly what I'm looking at.
Go down to the far right.
OK, so here's other.
What's other?
I got kebabs, strips, cubed steak, stew meat,
shank cross cut, ground beef, and ground beef patties.
Where does that come from?
Show me where other is.
Well, ground beef is all the off cut of everything.
So when you get all these little tiny little cuts that
fall on the table.
So when they get done cutting up the sirloin and the loin
and the this and the that, there's
a ton of meat left over.
And they grind that shit up, and they make ground beef.
They try to categorize.
So ground beef from everywhere.
Yes.
OK, good to know.
Yeah.
And sometimes you'll see.
That's where your blog now may come from, too, right?
Sometimes you'll see ground chuck.
So it's from the chuck region, but typical hamburgers.
Meaning it's not the leftover.
You know how they always say about hot dogs
are the lips and assholes of pigs.
Right.
So when you get ground chuck, it's not the lips
and assholes of a cow.
It is.
It's from the chuck region.
It literally is a roast that is ground up.
Then you also see ground sirloin every now and then.
Like usually in the restaurant, you
use like a ground sirloin burger.
Oh, yeah.
Right.
So you'll see that as well.
It's just where they get it.
Meaning it's, again, not lips and assholes.
Typical.
Well, hamburgers are not lips and assholes.
It's all the leftover stuff when they cut all these steaks out.
There's still a lot of meat in there.
And it doesn't mean it's bad.
And they trim the shit out of it and make hamburger out of it.
Yeah, and it doesn't mean it's nasty meat
or if it's whatever.
No.
OK.
So other stew meat, cubed steak, strips, kebabs,
and ground beef.
That's the other.
Well, I highly recommend to watch The Bearded Butchers
for an hour.
And they completely cut up a cow.
And they show you exactly what they say.
They do.
And they go through everything.
And they've got cool tools, too.
That's extremely sharp.
It's all about the tools, man.
It's extremely sharp.
And he wears chain mail.
So that's one thing.
He does.
Well, that's cool, too.
But that's one thing I learned when we were out
in the field, field dressing the elk.
It was all about the tools.
Like one guy was trying to do something.
And Jerry stepped in and was like, listen, hey.
I'm not trying to take over what you're doing.
But I've got this tool.
And they're like, OK.
Well, yeah.
Cool.
And he was like, zip.
You know what I mean?
When we were right, I mean, it's all about the tools, guys.
We already know that.
Well, you guys are going out to Colorado.
And you were talking about the RV and having a blast
and the generator bogging down.
And I had an experience this past week,
after Thanksgiving, this past weekend,
where my brother-in-law invited me.
Well, it wasn't like an invite.
He was saying, hey, I need to go pick up my RV
and bring it to the lake, because we're
going to spend Friday, Saturday, Sunday-ish out there.
Did you spoon?
Right.
And it's brand new.
So hold on.
A little context.
It's brand new.
He just bought it.
He wants to take it out to the lake
to make sure it's all set up.
He had a smaller one.
And he just gave it to, well, it was
absorbed into his business.
And somebody else is using it somewhere.
Whatever.
So he took that, and he bought a new one.
And this one is, I don't know exactly how long it is.
He may have told me.
I forgot.
I think 27, 30 foot, something like that.
It's a big boy.
I think it's bigger.
It's 30 plus.
Of all the research I've done, it's 30 plus.
But anyway, keep going.
Well, it was nice.
We went to.
It looked really nice.
He's got a big truck.
We rolled in with his big truck.
And the technology makes it so much easier.
When you're backing up with this truck, and you got cameras.
This was a fifth wheel.
And there's a camera on the fifth wheel
so that when you're backing up, you see exactly.
A camera in the bed of the truck?
It's in the fifth wheel.
So that when you're looking, there's a dot.
And it's got a little line.
And it's like, you're backing up, and you got to do all.
It's like a game at that point.
That's a really expensive truck.
So he just basically, you back it up.
And then once you get to that point, they're like, dee dee,
done.
And it goes, now connecting fifth wheel.
Well, we went in the back.
And then he opened up a compartment on the trailer.
And the trailer lowered electronically
onto the fifth wheel.
And then the hubs that were holding the tracks that
were holding up, it went straight up into the belly of it.
And automatically?
Yeah, pushed a bunch.
It went up.
We locked it into place to make sure it would stay there.
The wheel, what are those things?
The jacks, the wheel things that keep it from moving.
What do they call those?
The stabilizers?
You're talking about on the bottom of the RV?
The wheel wedge.
Yeah, the wedge, that's not what they're called.
It's a wheel wedge.
No, the stabilizers.
You're talking about the things that you lower down
to the ground.
That's just fucking, that's a wheel wedge.
I don't think you made that face.
The Elvis face.
Well, anyways, there's a different name for it.
But it doesn't matter.
It's a chuck, I think is what it's called.
So anyways, you remove those things.
And we drove off, and then we get to the place.
And it's nighttime now.
And we back it up.
You hook utilities up to it.
It's so easy to do.
You go to these places, these parks, state parks,
and it's plug-in.
Did you have to empty the gray water?
We never got to that point, because we're arriving.
Gray water usually happens after you visit.
So you didn't duke all over at his bathroom?
Well, I did urinate, but we could talk about that
in just a moment.
I'm getting there.
So the first thing is impressive.
This thing is impressive.
I'm telling you, for guys, for anybody, it's impressive.
It had a three-seater couch.
It had a side-by-side theater-style seating
with a center console that was perpendicular to it,
facing the big screen TV.
When I say big, this was a 50-inch TV.
It had a ceiling fan in the center.
This is what most people don't have.
If they get an RV, they don't have all this bullshit on it.
Three stations that widened.
They're called slides.
Slides.
They're three slide areas.
Thank you.
Yeah, that's right.
So basically, it was the living room forward slash kitchen.
Both those areas kind of pushed out
a mother about three-foot either side.
Huge, huge, huge.
And then the master bedroom up the bedroom up top.
I've never seen the slides go out.
So you just push a button, and it's like, do you?
It's automatic.
It's like, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep.
Now, that's not pneumatic.
OK.
It's like air brakes.
It's totally electronic.
Shhh.
That's cool, though.
It is very cool.
And it had a fireplace that was electrical.
Oh, my god.
So is he going to let us take us to Choctaw?
Hey, let me use it.
Anywhere.
Who cares where we go?
We can go to Loverboy.
We can go to Prosper.
You got to be able to pull it, though.
Yeah, we don't have a vehicle that will pull that thing.
He's got a truck.
Hey, can I borrow your truck?
Well, we can buy the RV.
It's a fifth wheel.
Of course we have to borrow his truck.
We can buy them.
Oh.
We can't just take the truck and the RV without him?
Really?
Of course.
Not something that expensive.
Of course we're going to invite him.
What kind of comment is that?
Well, I mean, I snore.
We want him there.
We have no idea how to work the thing.
I mean, I'm trying to think of the sleep accommodations.
Because you know, the-
We'd all be outside, Sean would be inside.
You sleep with him on the queen.
And Jeff's on his bed.
I'll bring my air mattress.
Yeah.
Good.
There we go.
Let's close the door.
It has a big floor.
Two queens.
It's got two queen beds in there.
Well, one's for you and him.
No, one's his bedroom.
He's got his bedroom, and then there's the rest of us.
Well, you need to put the queen-
You're saying there's three beds?
I like your idea.
No, no, no.
Back the fuck up.
Wow.
He's got two queens.
So the couch pulls out to a queen.
Yes.
All right.
There's a bedroom that has a queen.
Yes.
That's where he's going to go.
The other queen, two of us will go.
And Jeff has already nominated himself to sleep on the floor.
I'm not sleeping with you on the queen.
We can take the ears out.
Why not?
I can't hear him.
The hell?
Are you going to have a CPAP machine?
I'm going to wear a chastity belt.
I can tell you that.
Oh, really?
I'm not waking up with that.
He's going to have the key.
Your safety dome?
Paul's trying to pick it in the middle of the night.
Whatever.
I'm not going unless you get a CPAP machine.
My god.
There's no way.
You just took your earring beads out.
What the hell?
I still heard it.
You did not.
Actually, when I put my hearing aids in, it was horrific.
When I had my hearing aids out, it was just fine.
Yeah.
But it did.
I put my hearing aids on because my father-in-law called me.
And I was like, I'm sorry.
Hold on one second.
What is that noise?
I'm down there on the floor with the pillow over my head.
My god.
It was awful.
You need a CPAP machine.
I can promise you.
You're the poster boy of needing one.
I sleep with one.
It's great.
Yeah, you fought it for the first couple nights, though,
didn't you?
I did.
Yeah.
I thought I was being.
So if you roll over onto your face, what happens?
I thought it was like, you know how in aliens when the thing
smacks onto their face?
It like shoves a tube down their throat?
Yeah, a tube down their throat.
I thought I was being attacked in alien.
But it's awesome.
No, I'd say.
It's actually phallic because it lays an egg in them.
OK, well, the CPAP machine doesn't do that.
But the alien does, yeah.
If you think about it, it was impregnated.
Yeah, that's where the alien, they impregnate the guy.
But through the mouth?
Yeah, it attaches to his mouth.
And then it shoves him.
But the alien comes through the stomach.
Bop, bop, bop, bop.
I mean, I just thought it seeped in there somehow.
I never realized it entered through the mouth.
No, it stuck a seed down into the stomach.
Interesting.
Yeah.
Yeah, well, that's not what a CPAP machine does.
But it helps you sleep better.
It really does.
All right, we digress.
Anyway, so very nice RV.
We definitely need to check that out.
I definitely need a CPAP machine because.
And you definitely need one.
It requires you to go to the doctor.
You do.
Well, hold on.
No, I don't.
I just fucking go buy one.
Good question.
Can you?
I don't know.
Why not?
I'm sure they're very expensive.
I can do whatever the hell I want.
The ResMed, I have ResMed.
It's not cheap.
And I'm sure it's.
And you have insurance.
Yeah, but what does that mean when you say it's not cheap?
What is that?
Like $500, $1,000, $2,000?
I think it was $50 a month for a year, maybe.
Hold on.
You got to pay a monthly fee for this?
Why can't you just pay for it?
Well, I mean, I think they structure it so that it's not
so difficult for people.
They structure it so they can rip off people.
Well, I'm sure that too.
They wouldn't make money.
Of course.
It's all about making money.
Everybody's in it to win it.
So you're on a monthly list.
This is called ResMed.
R-E-S-M-E-D. It's a very impressive machine.
Get rid of all that and put in R-E-S-M-E-D.
All right, there we go.
That's it.
Now, I don't know if you could just go out and buy it,
but it's very impressive.
You hook your phone up to it?
You can hook.
Why would you hook up your phone?
I don't know.
I just saw a picture with an app.
OK, well, no, it has an app.
Yeah, it has an app.
And I don't even know how.
The ResMed is not connected to my internet.
They're about $1,000.
There you go.
There's one for $4,400.
What?
All right, he's just showing it.
Well, that's a hell of a deal right there.
$1,700.
That's a 10S, though.
Jeez.
Who's going to get the 10S?
That's mine right there.
Mine's $1,000, which you're looking at right there.
Anyway, so it's really impressive, man.
I mean, I tell you what, it helps you sleep.
And I'll be damned if this thing knows.
It's pretty smart technology, because I
will put this thing on, and I don't push any buttons
or anything.
I just start breathing, and the machine turns on.
So it knows.
It's measuring airflow.
Right.
Which you have to clean it quite a bit.
Does it get all bacteria and funkily?
No, I mean, I have cleaned it multiple times, where I just
run it under super hot water and maybe run
some soapy water through it.
But I mean, I've never looked at it and gone, oh, god,
this is nasty.
I need to clean it.
Well, yeah, but after a year of using it, maybe.
Yeah, you would think so.
Because I know they have, you can get sick if you don't clean
it.
There's people that do get sick because you start
inhaling all that.
Maybe.
You were starting, you put it on, so you start breathing.
So does this thing pressurize?
So what it does is it forces air through the tube.
And the whole point is having something over your nose,
whether it's like tubes that go up into your nostrils, which
I was not a big fan of.
I said, no, thank you.
And I did the full, they have a full nose mask, and then they
have a full face mask.
But the idea is a tube is forcing air through your nose
and forcing you to breathe through your nose.
When it forces air into your nose, it makes you go,
it makes you breathe.
Sleep apnea is when you stop breathing.
When you do.
Yeah, you stop breathing.
Like for minutes.
Yes.
When you stop breathing, your body like.
I do?
Yes.
Bad.
Very bad.
And then when you come out of that,
like you've stopped breathing for 10, 15 seconds,
your body goes, like you're gasping.
And it comes through your nose and your mouth.
You sound awful.
I mean, not you, just people in general.
And it's awful.
And then the bottom line is it's affecting your sleep.
It's affecting your sleep.
You may not know it, but you wake up exhausted,
not well rested.
And so the idea of this is forcing air through your nose
is forcing you to breathe continuously.
Nice, smooth, deep breaths where you're getting plenty of oxygen.
And the idea is you're getting great sleep.
And I'll be damned if it works.
So the ResMed that you have, is it like a air curve?
It's the one that he's currently got his cursor on right there.
The black one?
Yep.
So you have the nose one right there?
So it's ResMed AirSense 10.
I've got the one all the way on the left at the top.
Yeah, the lady.
The lady.
That's exactly what I have.
Is it as sexy as it looks?
Well, and that's what was funny.
So I was wearing that.
I told you in Tokyo, the red leader.
I was wearing that, and Shelly had her mouthpiece in.
And we both turned over and looked at each other.
And we were like, we've never been more turned on.
Like it was the most sexually charged moment we've ever had.
So you just ripped it off?
Literally.
We were literally staring at each other, and we're like, busted.
When you say busted out laughing, we howled with laughter.
We're like, this is real.
This is where we are.
I'm wearing some sort of freaking psycho face apparatus.
And she's like, with her.
She's drooling.
Oh yeah, when she takes it out, she's like.
And she puts it in her little case on the nightstand.
And I'm like, yeah, it's a mouthpiece.
It keeps her from grinding her teeth.
And so she pulls it out and is like.
She sticks it in her little case.
I mean, I'm telling you, this is real.
This is old people stuff, right?
And here I am going.
Shoo.
Hey, honey.
So what happens if you get a cold
and you can't breathe through your nose?
You just go without it?
So that hasn't happened yet.
So I'll have to get back to you on that.
But there's going to come a time where your nose just gets
jammed, swollen.
I would imagine you can't wear it.
Yeah, I would imagine you can't wear it.
Or maybe.
I don't know.
Maybe.
Yeah.
With that forced air, I think maybe it helps.
It helps clear everything out.
I don't know.
Yeah, it might.
Anyway, Sean, I could not recommend it more.
You absolutely need it.
Well, first of all, people die from sleep apnea.
Yeah, just go to the doctor.
They literally die in their sleep.
Yeah.
I mean, I'm not exactly sure how that works.
So you stop breathing, and then your body just
doesn't revive you?
It just doesn't kick back.
Yes.
One of these times, you just don't.
So you literally die of like a heart attack.
Or you suffocate.
Suffocate.
That's incredible.
Yeah.
It's incredible that the human body can even do that.
You just don't start breathing again.
You stop, and you're done.
It's a very real thing.
Well, there's been more than once
where I've woken up, and I'll be like, Jesus, what
the fuck's going on?
There's one time I was in California with you,
wherever we went.
And it was Tahoe.
Tahoe.
And I was in the bedroom, and I had a heartburn.
And I had acid reflux that came up
in the middle of the night.
So imagine not breathing.
Right.
Acid reflux comes in.
Yeah, double whammy right there.
I had to stand up.
Talk about being asleep, and now I'm in fight mode.
Right.
I mean, I had to.
You were just choking.
I jumped up out of bed.
But you can't breathe.
I fucking spit bile out of my mouth and started breathing.
Gasping for air.
That was crazy.
That's why I bring all those extra pills,
and I shove them up so I can sleep inclined.
Inclined, yeah.
No, the doctor says the biggest thing for me to do
is just lose some fricking weight.
Well, you know, until then, you need
to protect yourself with the CPAP machine.
It's a battle.
Well, I will tell you.
So I didn't take my CPAP machine to Colorado.
I was up for a full over a week.
And first several nights, yeah, I was waking up going,
oh, stop.
You know what I mean?
My sleep apnea just started kicking back in.
Right.
And it scared me.
I was like, what the hell's going on?
Kind of like what you were describing.
It's like gasping for air.
And I was like, I don't have my CPAP machine.
That's why.
Interesting.
So I'm wondering, like with most things
that you do to your body for a crutch,
your body becomes dependent on it.
And I wonder.
Could you ever stop using it?
Yeah.
No, I don't think it made it worse.
I think it made my body aware of it.
Like before the CPAP machine, I think I would just.
Well, what's causing your CPAP?
Do you have something that you could have surgery
and be done with it?
I don't know.
Because Brandon had sleep apnea when he was a kid.
But his adenoids were normally the size of a pea.
His were the size of a walnut.
So they were literally blocking air.
So he would, yes.
And he would snore really loud.
And he would have sleep apnea.
So we had him removed.
And he's been fine.
Well, I've had mine removed since I was a little kid.
Your adenoids?
My adenoids.
Right.
My tonsils.
There could be something else in there.
No.
Tonsils.
No.
Oh, those are different.
Adenoids are in your nose, like on the back of your nose.
Oh.
Cool.
So you can have that removed?
Oh, yeah.
Maybe I should get all that shit removed.
Yeah.
Go in there and look at it.
You may have these monster ones like Brandon did.
And he cut them out.
And he's been fine ever since.
I went to the ear, nose, throat doctor.
And the first thing I did is open my mouth.
And they didn't say anything about your adenoids?
Well, he just opened my mouth and was like,
I bet you snore really loud.
OK.
What was that based on?
He, I don't know.
He said.
He didn't tell you why he felt that?
No.
I went there for, I don't forget why I went there.
Sword throat or something.
And no, that's just what he said.
I bet you really snore a lot.
I said, yes, I do.
And he never really commented.
We never, because I wasn't there for that.
Yeah.
That's disappointing.
He should have said something about it.
Yeah.
That was a decade ago.
Yeah.
There's surgeries you could have.
Well, I would get the CPAP machine before I did surgery.
That's what I would personally do.
But it just depends, right?
It depends on.
I would have an expert look at you.
There are some people that have had this surgery.
Yeah, fixed the problem.
And the problem still comes back.
So it's just like, well, there's a surgery
where they remove the layers of the skin
back there that reverberate.
That causes snoring.
Soft palate, I think they're going, right?
They cut that stuff away.
And first of all, it's a painful experience.
And it comes back.
So it's only a temporary fix.
I mean, it may take people years.
It may take people months.
I'm always in favor of trying other things before surgery.
So I mean, I do know that people who snore, yeah,
there are elective surgeries for that.
But like I said, personally, I would try the CPAP machine
before I tried surgery.
And if that doesn't do the trick,
then there's more things you can do, right?
Well, it's one of these things where you're like,
am I going to be on the CPAP the rest of my life?
I'm expecting that.
Or can I have a surgery and not be uncomfortable for a week,
two weeks?
That's a good point.
No, I'm fully expecting to be on the CPAP machine
the rest of my life.
So you have no desire to have going there and go,
oh, we could pull this out and you'll be good?
Not really.
I mean, now that I've gotten used to it,
it's kind of, I mean, other than being incredibly
sexy for my wife, and she's hard to fight her off
when I'm wearing it.
You let her wear it?
I haven't thought of that.
Whoa, that takes it to a whole new level.
Honey, wear my CPAP machine tonight.
And that's it.
No, you're too rough with me when you do that.
Wait, hold on.
I played this out too far, didn't I?
Yes, you did.
Is that because she asphyxiates?
You're choking me.
Right.
If you ever saw a fetish out there that does that.
A CPAP fetish.
There's a stupid fetish out there.
I wouldn't doubt it.
Every fetish you can think of, and we
don't have to talk about fetishes tonight.
All right, so.
Oh.
Why?
Well, I'm just saying, we don't have to.
Are you alarmed that we may discuss a certain topic,
that you?
Do I have a fetish?
You tell me.
I heard you did.
Do I have a fetish?
Well, it turns out that you might.
I think we all have certain preferences.
I don't know if we would call them fetishes.
Well.
Like, there are people that like love to suck toes.
I'm like, no, thank you.
You know, I'm sorry I scratched the surface on this.
You started it.
You did.
What's your fetish, Sean?
Oh, I don't have one.
Oh.
Farts.
I'm thankful just to have.
I like to fart in my partner's mouth.
I'm thankful just to have sex.
What?
That's terrible.
What'd you say?
I'm thankful just to have sex.
That's your fetish, to have sex.
Well, you know, fetishes are within inanimate objects.
Not necessarily.
No, no, no.
There's like a broad range of fetish.
Like I just said, sucking toes.
Like S&M.
That's a fetish.
S&M.
100%.
Feet, that's a fetish.
There are people who like to lick navels.
There are people who like to, I mean, there's a million.
Any fetish you can think of exists,
like you were saying earlier.
Golden shower, that's a fetish.
Oh, yeah.
Whoa.
Yep, pooping and shitting in your partner's mouth.
That's a fetish.
Two girls, one cup.
Fetish.
I don't think that's a thing.
It is a thing.
No, I don't think they have a partner that actually,
who's going to have a partner after you shit in their mouth?
They're going to be like, yeah.
One that wants you to shit in their mouth.
No, that's disgusting.
I'm telling you, that's a real thing.
It is.
What is it called when someone poops on glass on your faces
under the glass?
What?
I don't know.
So you're staring at it and it like falls down on you.
No, there are people, well, they don't have glass.
I thought that's what it was.
I didn't think.
You know what?
Enough of this two girls, one cup thing.
Again, you brought it up.
What?
You did.
You were talking about fetishes.
No, you're like, Paul, what's your fetish?
Yeah, you did.
But I didn't bring up this.
Yeah, you did.
Very awkward.
This may be the worst podcast ever.
OK, so listen.
So the natural.
Go ahead.
I wanted to keep beating that drum.
No, we're not going to beat the fetish drum.
Maybe that'll be a topic for a future podcast.
We'll have to do our research.
Oh, what are you looking at?
Explain that to your wife.
Honey, I'm doing research.
I'm really getting turned on looking at this lava lamp.
Honey, I'm doing research.
Looks like a sitting spin.
I'm not looking at porn.
I'm looking at, I'm doing research.
I'm not watching her smash a hamster.
What?
That's another thing.
Smash a hamster?
Yeah, some piece.
Because that way it goes in your butt and then they smash it.
No.
Like a real hamster?
Yeah, where women will wear the high heels
and then stomp on gerbils and hamsters and stuff.
How is that sexual?
I don't know.
That's just evil.
I know.
I mean, if there's squirrels on my board.
Which, by the way, squirrels are back in my attic.
Are they?
Hold on.
Yes, they are.
And I plan to smash them.
Where have you seen that?
Huh?
Have you seen that before?
Yeah, why?
Why would you?
I've seen it in the magazines.
Why would you know this fetish?
Because I've seen it in the magazines
that my roommate would get.
Which is?
Your wife.
Your wife is your roommate.
No, this is before I was married.
Weird fetish.
In the back of all those books, you
had all the ads and stuff, crazy stuff, right?
So you could see these.
Did you not vet your roommates before they
fucking moved in?
Well, it's normal porn mags.
Well, you didn't have internet back then.
So at the back of porn mags, they have weird fetish stuff.
Well, they have different ads.
And by this video, and if you like smashing hamsters,
and there's some lady.
That's sick.
That's really sick.
I think the PETA would probably be upset about that.
Do you think that Richard Gere thing was real?
I don't know.
The whole gerbil thing?
There was also the whole Rod Stewart
had a gallon of spooge in his stomach, too.
That went around.
Hold on.
That's total bullshit.
Spooge in his stomach.
What is that?
Because he swallowed so much sperm that he had to go.
I think that's.
Rod Stewart's gay?
No, that was the rumor back when I was growing up.
These are all stupid rumors.
The Richard Gere thing.
Richard Gere gerbil thing.
That was a rumor.
Well, hold on.
How does it start, though?
Mr. Producer, see if that's real.
Richard Gere in gerbil.
I don't know.
I don't know how it started.
Because I heard it when I was growing up.
These are all stupid ass rumors.
I guarantee they're not real.
I don't know.
That one seemed like it had some validity to it.
Why?
I don't know.
Based on what?
Because how popular it was.
It was a really popular rumor.
I think everybody, everybody's heard about the Richard Gere
gerbil.
Are you not going to look it up for us, Mr. Producer?
Oh, he's doing it very reluctantly.
I don't blame him.
Because what if we see really scary pictures after this?
Well, the definitive history, see,
they've got a highly questionable cultural history
of Richard Gere's ass gerbil.
So they saw a picture of this tube.
And the mouse.
There's a gerbil coming out of it.
Yeah, there is a gerbil coming out of it.
And there was just Gere's face in the background.
Well, the rumor has endured for decades,
becoming as deeply embedded in pop culture as that alleged
gerbil itself.
Who would have thought Gere himself would come out
of it looking so enlightened?
Of course, this.
Did he come out and comment on it?
Well.
That would be hilarious.
I don't know.
That's what you were about to say.
Well, the story's like this.
Richard Gere once got a gerbil stuck up his ass.
All right?
So that's the story.
Richard Gere once got a gerbil stuck up his ass
and then had to go to the ER to get it removed.
Maybe he was sleeping.
And that's it.
That's the end of the story.
Yet the single sentence narrative
has somehow endured the test of time for decades,
like some ancient folklore.
So there's no evidence.
Just somebody reported it.
What would be the evidence?
There would be like a hospital, like a what do you call it?
A sheet.
The sheet that they put on the end of the bed.
An X-ray?
Oh, even better.
Well, first you establish whether gerbiling is
apparently called gerbiling.
Gerbiling?
I don't know.
All right.
So I will tell you this.
Something that is undeniable, like factually based,
the stuff that emergency rooms see.
Gerbiling.
You know what the emergency rooms have
to extract things all the time.
Oh, yeah.
Crazy stuff, too.
Right.
They have to extract things from the anus and rectum.
Rubik's cubes.
Rubik's cube?
How can you get a cube?
How would that feel good?
I don't know.
Tell me how that would feel good.
That's a square.
It's a cube with corners.
I mean, at least do something round.
Why do a square?
My god.
It makes no sense at all.
Well, there's like, oh my god.
Honey, you want to stick a Rubik's cube up my ass?
What did you pull up?
OK, we're not.
OK, we need to move on.
Well, why did we get even blocked?
Now we got.
We won't even show it at the plot.
You need to put in your birthday to see that website.
Yeah, no kidding.
All right.
So in St. Petersburg, Russia, the surgeon
extracts a massive, massive dildo out of a.
That thing is.
Looks like a baby.
Yeah.
It's like six inches in diameter.
Yeah.
More than that.
Well, I mean, that's like the rumors of women
that want to get it on with horses and mules
and stuff like that.
That's what we're talking about, right?
All right.
What?
Anyway, so we had a great topic earlier tonight
where we were talking about the cuts of beef.
Well, this one's sore.
Hold on.
No, I'm not letting you go there.
I think the next natural thing to go to is how to cook it.
All these cuts that we've been talking about, how to cut them.
I mean, how to cook them.
And I know that could go.
You talk about spices?
No, well.
Well, you could spice it up if you want.
Not so much spices, but just like different types of grills.
Right?
And we can save this for the next segment.
Yeah, let's do that, because we'll
have to go into it, because there's
all kinds of grills out there.
Well, we've got 15 minutes.
I mean, we can branch out.
Let's tease it, right?
So your standard grill is charcoal.
I like the charcoal grill.
Back in the day, right?
Yeah, OK, but it takes forever.
It takes forever, but it gives it a fantastic flavor.
Now, you can't really control.
It's hard to control.
Yes, you have to pay attention to it.
Right.
You've got height you've got to deal with.
And usually, with the really cheapy, they're all you really
cheapy grills.
Well, I've got the green egg.
You don't have a lot of options with how high you can make it,
how low you can make it, right?
If you want to sear it, you've got to get it really close to the.
Well, real men don't have a charcoal grill anymore.
That's not true.
I have a charcoal grill.
That's absolutely not true.
The purists who really want that charcoal, perfectly flavored
steak.
Hold on.
I think stuff tastes better.
Let me clarify this.
Absolutely.
Even I have a charcoal grill, but that's not my point.
My point is that if you just want to cook something,
you just put it in charcoal with the flavor, of course.
Otherwise, you want to try to control the temperature.
Of course.
So you're saying with the charcoal grill
to control that temperature, you need to go up and down.
You have very limited options on how
to control that temperature, right?
Because you have no control of the airflow that's
coming into the thing.
Well, you do if you have one of those domes
and you control the air, just like your egg, right?
So you can control it that way.
Remember, forever and ever and ever, that's all people had.
Oh, yeah.
Before propane tanks, that's all they had.
That's all I had growing up.
And people grilled for decades on that.
So it does the job.
Oh, yeah.
And it tastes great.
And it provides great flavor.
I think it tastes better than a gas grill.
Now, the problem is, on a gas grill,
it tastes better on a charcoal.
Absolutely.
I would agree with that.
Yeah, well, I mean, it's also what type of briquettes
you use, too.
If you use the real charcoal, or sometimes if you get that,
you can get some real bad charcoal out there.
You can get some cheap briquettes out there.
That, and it takes 45 minutes to an hour
to get those briquettes.
Yeah, but get the charcoal briquette perfect.
Well, it can.
But it's part of planning.
So some of those.
How long do you say it takes?
Some of the better tasting charcoals
does take a little bit longer.
It does.
At my charcoal grill, I don't use the lump coal that he uses.
That would take a very long time.
Lump coal.
Well, I use the real charcoal, the wood briquette charcoal
that you buy.
What I use is it's that broken into pieces
and then formed into a lump.
And then compressed.
So it doesn't take as long.
They break apart faster.
And then it heats faster.
So it's those big pieces.
OK, well, I rarely buy briquettes
other than your standard charcoal briquettes.
Well, I'll tell you what.
I found a process on how to start a charcoal grill.
That works for me because my son got me a green egg.
So to start it, I think the original thing I bought
was this heating element that you plug into the wall,
which is a glorified fucking hair dryer, which I spent almost
100 bucks, if not more.
And I'm extremely disappointed with the green egg purchase.
No, it broke.
The green egg?
The heating element.
It's this wand you put in there.
And you got to hold the button.
It'd be different if you could like fucking walk away.
No, I'm going to sit there and hold it.
Oh, it's ridiculous.
So anyways.
And then I went and I bought these little pieces of clumps,
Firestar stuff.
You light it, you set it in there,
and you walk away and those work great.
But hold on, you're not talking about the green egg.
You're talking about charcoal grills.
I'm talking about charcoal.
Yeah, that's what I use in my green egg
to try to get the fire started, regardless
what type of grill it is.
I got you.
It's how to get the fire started.
OK.
But what I've done lately, and so I went to the Firestar
where you buy them online, buy them at the store, whatever.
You light them up and put them in the middle of charcoal.
Then you walk away.
And about 10, 15 minutes, you got some shit going on.
Well, what I do is I saw this on a YouTube.
I was, I don't know, spamming it while I'm working.
And I've got, I just let it play in the background.
And I was watching these guys camp.
And they went out.
They set up a tent.
They set up this furnace.
And they had some logs and all that.
He took out a little bag of Doritos,
a little lunch portioning bag of Doritos.
You know, the mini bags.
You get a little box.
And he opens it up.
He puts a Dorito chip.
One chip.
And starts the fucking fire with a Dorito chip.
That's how much oil is on that Dorito chip.
Oh, great.
It works.
So that's what I've been doing.
I go to a pantry.
One Dorito chip.
Well, no, I mean, I do more than that.
It could be a corn chip, too.
It doesn't have to be a Dorito.
But what I do is I go in my pantry.
And you light that on fire.
And I find whatever bag of chips that is.
No way.
The remnants in there.
And I go in there.
I dump it in there.
Like, if it's a bunch of crumbs, dude, you will be shocked.
If it's a bunch of crumbs, and you put it on top of there.
Goes up like a roaming candle.
Lights up.
And then it fucking burns.
And you walk away from it.
No wonder it has a lot of calories in it.
It's saturated with oil is what it is.
You know, I was making fun of your olive oil this weekend.
But I wasn't really.
You were.
I have.
It's devastating.
Sincere concerns about the types of oils that we cook with.
Yeah, sure.
And a lot of the refined oils that they say,
this is olive oil.
Well, it's not.
Some of it's like, all right, well, some of the fine prints,
like, well, we're 80% olive oil.
And 20% of this is just refined oil.
And some of the oil that they use in the refined oil
is the same shit you put in your fucking car.
It's not good for you.
It's not meant for humans.
It's fucking the United States of America.
They feed us shit.
So you're saying olive oil has motor oil in it?
I'm saying some of it does, yes.
Yeah, so he.
Refined oil.
So I did look at the ingredients after he said that.
I looked at the ingredients.
And it only had olive oil and refined olive oil.
Yeah, you had to pay attention to that.
But that's the difference.
I mean, there was nothing else crazy in there.
But.
Hold on.
But.
Hold on.
OK.
Do you know what refined oil is?
Refined olive oil.
Refined oil, olive oil?
Olive oil, yes.
So I mean, so this refined olive oil doesn't mean that it's
refined olive oil.
It's saying it's refined oil.
That means it takes oils.
I'm telling you, I speak the truth.
I tell you what.
I am going to be.
I tell you what.
After you said that, I'm going to.
So a lot of the, some of the oils that we eat every day,
chips, tortilla chips, the stuff's not good for you.
It just sits in your gut.
Of course, none of that stuff's good for us.
I know.
We know that.
This is something that we use every day.
I know.
And it's the, it's just layers and layers of shit
like this that make us look like bowling pins.
I know I'm making an excuse for myself.
But I don't eat super horrible.
You know?
It's just, I eat what's around.
I eat what's at the grocery store.
And this is the stuff they sell us.
Right.
You know, they've got the FDA approves products to sell
that they absolutely deny to sell in Europe.
They're like, you don't sell that shit.
That'll kill you.
But yet the FDA says it's OK for us Americans.
Yeah.
I don't agree with that.
There's a whole faction of people
who are against the GMOs, right?
Oh, yeah.
Genetically modified organism.
So they've genetically altered food.
Is it organics?
Genetically modified organics.
Organics?
I don't know what the O is.
Yeah, so it's been genetically modified to be bigger,
more flavorful, grow faster.
More importantly, insect resistant.
Correct.
Organisms, genetically modified organisms.
That's even worse.
That's gross.
Genetic material has been altered using
genetic engineering techniques.
Exact definition of a genetically modified organism
what constitutes genetic engineering
varies with the most common organism altered
in a way that does not occur naturally
by mating or natural recombination.
So based on this, we can come up with another reason
why gender roles does not occur naturally by mating.
It says there is.
Right.
So in theory, what they're doing, right?
If there is a strain of wheat that is naturally
immune to insects, then you have a strain of wheat
that is really heat resistant.
Then you have a strain of wheat that's this,
that's drought resistant.
Then you splice all that together.
And then you're taking all these characteristics
of all these different wheats, and you're putting them
together and genetically modifying it.
And then now you have the perfect wheat.
It takes very little water.
It doesn't wilt under intense heat.
And it's naturally immune to insects.
And you don't have to spray it with insecticide.
So it doesn't sound like a bad thing.
But the problem is, and then you would
have scientists that are on both sides of the aisle on this one,
the problem is when it's genetically modified like that,
your body doesn't necessarily know what to do with it.
But the problem with scientists being on both sides of the aisle
is that half those scientists on the other side of the aisle
are being paid.
Yeah, yeah, you don't know who to trust.
It's kind of like climate change.
It's like all the people that think
that we're in a ruled a hurt because of climate change,
they're all being fucking paid by the government.
They're being paid to say that, yes.
Well, they're not being paid.
They are being paid to say it, but they're
not going to be funded.
If they don't.
No, I understand that.
We're going to fund you to do further, it's a rocket man.
To support our theory.
So if they come out and say, yeah, I
know you just paid me $800,000 to prove that climate change is
happening, but based on the research I'm doing, it's not.
In this crazy how politics.
We're not going to renew your grant.
It's crazy how politics will seep
into every single orifice of everything that we talk about.
It's just indirectly.
Yeah.
Except hot dogs.
You know what I found was hilarious?
The show that I recently just been reintroduced to
was the Family Ties with Michael J. Fox.
Not Michael Keaton.
Yeah, Michael J. Fox.
You're so wrong.
It is.
That show was hilarious.
I mean, it was cheesy as shit.
Now, it wasn't the whole Family Liberal, but Michael J. Fox
wasn't.
Yes, because I was listening to some of the stuff
that the dad was saying, and they were talking about
celebrating.
It was like, we haven't celebrated that much.
Nixon got thrown out.
And it was just like, it was just
the banter going on between Michael J. Fox and his family.
But can we do that now?
It's.
Can we have a show like that now where there's funny banter
in a family that is like multi-plugin' Roseanne,
but then they killed her off.
They killed her.
Well, I sent you that SNL clip.
Was it Roseanne?
Yes, based on one comment.
About the gorilla comment?
Oh, well, she looked like a goddamn.
The comment was Valerie Jarrett.
Looks like.
Was it Valerie Jarrett?
She looked like the actor that played the woman on.
They showed Valerie Jarrett.
She does.
I don't give a fuck what they said.
They showed Valerie Jarrett, and they showed Plant of the Apes.
She looks the same.
And that is what sunk.
It was the same bull haircut.
Roseanne.
Roseanne, yeah.
It totally sunk her.
They took away her show.
It's her show.
And they continue the show.
Is it doing well without her?
I have not watched one of those.
I haven't watched.
Ever since they left it, I haven't watched it.
That show, I haven't watched it either.
In fact, I can't believe it's still on.
It still is?
It's probably still on because they are trying
to make a point, probably.
Yeah, this is so awful.
It's so awful.
I mean, and I know they're calling it a racist thing.
But it wasn't.
It was a.
I guess it is racist, though.
It's got to be racist, right?
It's got to be a racist.
Is it racist?
OK, OK, OK.
Look at something in this room.
If I were to compare something A to B,
I don't give a fuck what it is.
Look at those two side by side pictures.
She has the bull haircut.
If I had a life-size bowling pin that was a black bowling pin
with a tan top, and I said, you look like that bowling pin.
Well, you know what?
With the red neck on it, right?
With a red neck and a tan top.
Would that be racist?
No.
You're making an observation, kind of like.
You're making fun of him.
Right.
Is it making fun of me?
It's not racist.
It sure is.
Look, look over here, for example.
You're walking up there as like, I'm going to compare.
I don't know.
That's rude.
I was going to say something about your hearing aids,
but it's just not working.
Yeah, that's racist.
No, but it doesn't matter.
Oh, that's completely racist.
All I'm doing is I'm making like a.
You're poking fun.
You're making fun of somebody.
You know, but are you.
So what if you were black and I compare to you to Cloud City's
security guards?
We know how the hearing aids that they wear,
but they're oversized.
Oh, on Star Wars.
On Star Wars.
On Clock Rock.
Remember those things?
Look at you throwing out a Cloud City.
Empire Strikes Back.
Well, that's where Lando was.
Yeah.
Well, I'm not making fun of your race.
I'm making fun of you.
Right.
I'm not making fun of your race.
I'm making fun of you.
That should be a meme.
I wish someone would just spell it out for everybody.
But the thing is, Valerie Jarrett is black.
She is.
And they compared her.
She doesn't look black, though.
And Roseanne compared her to an ape.
Look, she doesn't look black.
She looks.
I know, but Roseanne compared her to an ape.
But look.
You can't get away with that.
She could be half Indian, half Jamaican, or quarter Jamaican.
What is Kamala, Kamal Tal Harris?
Indian and Jamaican.
Yeah.
Hold on.
I thought she was Chinese.
No.
Indian.
Asian.
But you see my point.
But India is Asia.
You see my point.
She can't get away with that.
Well, you're saying that was bad.
We'll see.
Roseanne made a huge mistake.
But now, should she have her whole show be taken from her?
I don't think so.
No.
I think it's stupid.
No.
It's retarded.
Someone compared her to Austin Powers.
Right?
I mean, is that racist?
It is racist.
Comparing a white man to Valerie Jarrett?
That's a racist.
With British teeth?
I would kill them.
I don't know, guys.
We live in a crazy world where you can lose your TV
show over one was even.
Would she say it, or did she tweet it?
She tweeted it.
I don't know.
You can lose your entire TV show and career.
Overnight.
It was the career girl.
The Mandalorian.
She lost her career.
In fact, there was something that came out this past week
where.
Who did?
Gina Carano.
Oh, yeah.
Is she coming back?
She will.
They were going to bring her back for the demand
was for her to come back.
And the direction from the director
was that they were going to re-embark on something.
And then after further, they decided to squash it.
They're not going to bring it back.
She's fucked.
And it wasn't even her tweet.
She retweeted it.
And all she was saying was comparing
the actions of politicians to what was happening
in pre-Nazi Germany or Nazi Germany, which is not that crazy.
Honestly, it's not that crazy.
You know what else is not crazy?
A lot of the actions that have happened
in this country in the last two years.
Anybody that goes out.
A lot of comparisons.
And buys a bottle of this Penelope.
This Pien-lope.
Pien-lope.
Pien-i.
Pen-ay.
Pen-ay-lope.
It's Pen-ay-lope.
I enjoyed it.
It's really good.
We're going to have more of that.
Usually, I feel this way on the second half.
I feel this way on the first half.
I plan on having.
You're shooting it.
I plan on having more during the break.
We have a different one.
You know what I would like to open?
We started out the this.
We started out talking about grills, and grilling,
and smoking.
Smoking meat.
You want to talk about that?
I want to open with that.
Because we talked about charcoal.
And I know that he finds it boring because it's not
a sexual fetish.
But when smoking meat turns me on.
It does me.
I love smoking meat.
And I'm Paul.
I'm Jeff.
I'm Sean.
And I'm concerned.
Does Jerry know that you like smoking his meat?
He didn't smoke his meat.
No.
All right.
We'll catch you guys on the flip side.