What's with your boogity-woogity-woogie?
Boogie-woogie?
Do your boogie-woogie.
Boogity-woogity.
Nice.
Well, well, well, another edition.
Yeah.
Of dudes.
Post-4th of July.
4th of July weekend, which was a very cool day.
It was a barnstormer.
I love it when 4th of July hits the weekend like that.
Because then you get a day to recover.
Yeah.
It's usually kind of weird.
You know, holidays themselves.
I mean, if you just think about the holiday compared to the weekend in the middle of the
week.
Now, if you got like a regular job and Christmas, for example, falls on a Thursday, well, that's
a good day to have it because you're off probably Wednesday, Thursday and Friday and Saturday
and Sunday, it's like a five day weekend.
When they screw you.
We don't get Christmas Eve off.
And put Christmas on a fucking Saturday night.
Or Tuesday.
Well, you usually get the Friday off.
And I don't get, I don't get Christmas Eve off anymore.
Well, whatever.
I'm just saying just to your company doesn't give you Christmas Eve.
You never had Christmas Eve off either.
So if Christmas was on a Thursday, we would expect it to be in the office on Friday.
Really?
Well, you take it off.
You have to take PTO off, yeah.
Yes, you or the rest of the company?
Well, the whole company.
So you'd be off Christmas and then you'd work Friday.
My point by bringing that up is that I like it when it works out.
Where you've got an extra day, an extra long weekend.
That's what this weekend was.
It was an extra long weekend.
And it was kind of, I mean, the first part of it, the Friday we took off, we made a commitment
that dudes like us would travel down south to College Station and help our buddy out,
our buddy's son.
Cleansing the schmeg out of the college student dorm apartment.
We had to clean out a dorm apartment for three very nasty ass nuns.
So let's pause that just for a second.
I want to introduce our guest.
So this is Treasure.
I met her last night at a bar.
Nice.
And introduce yourself.
No last names.
Hi, I'm Diamond and Silk.
I'm Shelly, Paul's wife.
How stupid am I to invite my wife on podcast?
Although mine is, mine's partaken as well.
So your wife is next.
Tara was here one night.
Wasn't she?
No, she wasn't on the official one though.
No.
All right.
Anyway, to resume that story.
So yes, I had to come down to College Station to move my son out who couldn't come with
me because he had to work.
I'm going to throw the bullshit flag.
So being the father of the year that I am.
Had I known that, I would have gone by his work and I would have picked him up.
Well, where did you think he was?
I don't know.
I told you it was a very last second thing for me because I was on the fence.
I didn't, I didn't really want to go.
I had things to do.
Yeah.
You had, you were going to be jealous if they went without you.
Well envious because he would have gotten pictures.
So when he says glasses of bourbon, he's literally not kidding.
You and I are packed Jeff.
Yeah.
And Jeff's like, am I picking you up on the way or not?
And you're like fags.
Fine.
Come pick me up.
Literally.
I mean, so that was pretty much last minute.
Yeah.
I threw something together pretty fast.
Yeah.
What I don't get is, is y'all had like three bags of luggage for one night.
No, no, no, no.
I had stuff to clean.
You had empty bags to put stuff in.
Which ends up getting filled up with stuff.
I don't know how that happened.
I had a grocery sack.
With an extra thong in it?
With my, yes, with my thong.
Extra thong.
Yeah.
It had my toothbrush and toothpaste in it.
Yeah, I was like, you know, I'm like, I'm a prepper.
I like to, I like to make sure.
All your accoutrements.
I got to make sure some things are set up.
Your sous vide.
But you also have to plan for contingencies.
You never know.
Like what if you have a diarrhea explosion and all your clothes are ruined.
All of them.
And now you don't have a whole full set.
That's very possible for Sean.
What if you sit down?
Yes.
What if you sit down on something gross?
What if you fall down?
And you hit Walmart and buy a new shirt.
What if somebody vomits on you?
What if someone next to you gets drunk and tries to vomit on you?
Yeah, tries to.
Or puts body fluids of some sort all over you.
Well, I mean, still, I like to have it.
Look, what if we go, what if it rains?
What if it all of a sudden drops in temperature?
I like to, I like to bring a little bit of extra.
You know, I'm going to, I want to dress comfortable while I'm in bed.
I want to be able to maybe, maybe do I want to take a shower?
No.
Just in case I do, I want to bring a towel.
You know what?
Just in case I do.
You've given yourself options.
I want to have some deodorant.
I want to bring a bar of soap.
I have all my toiletries in there in the little bag, a little zip thing.
I'm ready to go.
Moments notice your man wipes.
And I like to bring my man wipes because I like to be clean down there.
You know, it's irrelevant that ninety nine out of nine ninety nine point nine nine nine
percent of the time you've never showered or brushed your teeth when you go on these
trips.
But you know, whatever.
Yeah, but my butthole is really clean.
But he's got a sous vide.
Yes, he does.
I've never brought that.
The mobile one to carry it with you everywhere.
I have I have brought it on my some of my job excursions where I know I'm going to be
down there for two weeks.
I'll bring like five or six.
You're talking about Alabama.
Well, whatever.
Yeah, that particular one.
But oh, sorry.
Your phone was on.
Way to go.
Interesting.
Let's see here.
Oh, Paul, you called.
Wow.
Very interesting.
I don't think the phone is a very effective tool for you.
Well, anyway, I was OK.
So I was trying to get ready to come here and I was contemplating.
Should I take a shower?
It's like I took one late last night and I didn't do anything.
So that counts.
That counts for today.
You're going to say late enough.
Well, I could take it tonight when I get home.
So technically it's one shower.
I'm going to take a shower.
So technically it's one shower a day.
Oh, OK.
But I'm laughing at myself walking out the door because I've got a pair of pants.
I'm sorry, shorts, some workout shorts.
And some mean compression socks.
Yeah, and some mean.
I get these calf cramps.
What are you having this time?
Are we on the roof?
No, I don't know why I have them, but they got bad last night and they just kept cramping.
Do you eat bananas?
We do.
We have a kiwi as well is good for potassium.
You have like a whole stand of bananas next to your bed?
Yes.
Interesting.
That's a bouquet of them.
It probably has multiple purposes.
Interesting little factoid though.
You know how you give a bushel of bananas?
Yeah, is it a bushel?
It's a bushel.
Yeah, the bushel.
When you have like six or so.
Sounds good to me.
You take the stem that connects them all and you flip it upside down and you put it in
a little water dish or something.
It grows.
They last like twice as long as they normally do.
Just fingerlings.
In the morning there's 18 of them.
It's like a potato.
They just look at these little eyes that pop out on them.
Little banana eyes.
Are the bananas covered in water?
No, just the tip of where they all.
Where the bushel head meets.
Just put the head of it in there.
It needs to be submerged?
It needs to be able to absorb in the water.
So it doesn't need to be submerged.
You just need to lay it kind of on there.
That just makes them last longer.
Nothing happens.
It doesn't start growing things.
That's my point.
You're the one that said it's starting to grow.
Yeah, Paul.
Well, but you made it sound real.
No, well, my point is.
Like you have a banana tree or something.
An interesting factoid is if you want to preserve the shelf life of your banana.
You just put them, make sure you put the little end to just the tip in the little water reservoir.
Now we have banana spiders.
That's right.
We've seen those before.
Yeah, but they're not going to show up mysteriously because you dip your banana wick in a bottle
of water or a little dish of water.
Wonder what would happen if you put it in bourbon.
You need to talk about the current bourbon we're drinking.
Well, we'll get there.
But back to what you were saying.
I wonder if it would infuse.
There are some interesting things that you can do with like celery, for example.
You can you can take like drops of red dye, for example, and you have a celery and you
have a water and cut the ends off.
You put a drop of red in there.
The celery will change color.
Very odd.
I wonder if the banana will be able to absorb the bourbon or how about some bourbon and
fuel celery stocks?
Unbelievable.
That'd be nasty.
Yeah.
Yeah, that just blew my head.
I'll pass, though.
So what is the bourbon called?
It's maker's mark.
And this one is I guess the key word is F.A.E. dash zero one.
That's the batch, I believe.
Yeah.
So this is a it's a limited release.
And this is the second time this limited release has come out this year.
Now that's it.
There it is.
This what's interesting about this particular maker's mark is that first of all, it's a
limited release, but what they do with it is that they have these these.
It's wood finished.
It's a wood finish.
The stave details.
So they've got the they've got 10 virgin toasted American oak staves and staves are like those
little wood there.
It's not a spin.
It's a stick.
Yeah, it's a stick.
A spire, so to speak.
You know, it's not a corkscrew and they they let us soak those those 10 oaks guys to suck
all as you get closer.
Yeah, no.
You know, they.
Yes, you did that.
So you did Lady and Tramp did you did you inject it?
No, you did.
I had to witness it.
You keistered it and then you put it in Paul's mouth.
Negative.
What?
Negative.
I don't remember any of this.
That's fantastic.
All right.
So continue.
So after he keistered it, you mean about.
OK, so.
Yeah, he started a word.
It is.
I don't think it's a real word.
I saw the word the year release the 10ing notes is a it's a fruit forward expression
with notes of tobacco and wood, obviously, since it's they've got the staves of oak in
there.
Now, the the four the fruit forward expressions they're referring to are the stone fruits.
As we chatted about that last week, we're trying to figure out what the hell is a stone
fruit and it's those fruits that have a large pit and then like a plum or a cherry or a
peach apricot and apricot.
Thank you.
There you go.
Banana.
Like how long do you have to like before it gets good to drinking this before you taste
anything other than burning alcohol?
Great question.
So we like rubbing alcohol.
Six hundred and seventy seven gallons.
You've tasted rubbing alcohol.
I mean, I just it smells wonderful.
Sounds like you're not a fan of this.
Well, I mean, I don't drink this straight at all, but I'm just like wondering, do you
have to like acquire a taste for you?
Yeah, just like I know when the first time I had beer, I thought it was the nastiest
thing I've ever had.
And so acquire a taste for it.
The cycle of what we've been doing with the whole program is that we've we've started
off with like, let's just say Jack Daniels, 80 proof.
All right.
Yeah.
And then we literally started getting like it gets to the point where it goes down easier
and easier and we're and we're finding.
Sorry, go ahead.
And we're finding that the stronger the alcohol for some reason, the higher the proof, the
higher the proof that alcohol is, it has a tendency to release more notes through the
nose.
It's more aromatic.
Very rich.
It's more flavorful.
But you're right.
It can be overshadowed by the burn.
Right.
All I taste is the alcohol, because the burn.
And if you're not used to it, yeah, you jumped right into it.
Yeah.
Proof is this 110.
110.
Yeah.
So it's like 30 more than we're even finding that the bourbons that are 80 to 90 are so
soft.
They're like there's no burn at all.
And they and I don't I don't I don't want to say that they are not what's the word bland.
They're not bland, but they just don't have that punch that we're used to now.
But the punch is the same.
Is it not?
No, no.
The flavors are very different.
It's the high alcohol content.
Well, some of the highly alcohol burns, this one does a little bit.
Some don't.
You'll be surprised that sometimes the the proof doesn't equate to spiciness or hotness.
Yeah.
But this one has some I know on the tip of the tongue, you could feel it.
And also it gets worse on like when they put a lot of spices in there, cinnamon and things
that that will attack and they don't compliment high proofed alcohols.
You know what?
You know what I recommend you do?
So you don't have to finish that.
And then once you put ice keep in it.
I did.
She did.
Let's put another one or or let's pick out a good what she's tried TX whiskey.
She likes that.
Do we have any love?
No, I just don't think that I am a I need to just build my right tolerance.
We have rebel yell.
You've had that before.
Yeah.
And so every night will you and I will have three or five of them.
So you get used to it.
Yeah, that's that's the problem in order.
What they call this.
And it's very unique.
It's called alcoholism.
That's the only way you'll get used to this.
Yeah.
I was just wondering.
Yeah.
Well, there you go.
It's a fair question.
In a nutshell, I mean, really, you've got to I think it's just like anything else.
You have to continue to do it.
I think you're I think honestly, our taste buds have become less.
Is it matured?
I want to say that and I say our taste buds have been dulled by the.
Yeah.
The receptors in our mouth and throat and tongue no longer work.
Correct.
So the only things that are 11 warning signs of developing alcoholism.
Oh, God, this is a horrible.
I think everybody here has this problem.
Oh, God.
There we go.
Oh, hello, chime.
11 warning signs of developing alcoholism.
I'm all ears.
Let's do this.
Number one.
All right, the warning signs of alcoholism.
Let me see here.
Oh, number one, you do a podcast about bourbon.
Spending a lot of time obtaining, using and recovering from the effects of alcohol.
Oh, hold on.
Let's do that again.
No, go up.
So spending a lot of time obtaining, using and recovering from the alcohol effects of
alcohol.
So wow.
I mean, so obtaining is that mean procuring?
That means going to total wine three times a week.
We don't do that.
I think this is.
We go once.
I'm going to exclude that first one because I don't think that that fits us because we
do.
This is a hobby because we're doing this.
I mean, a lot of folks that that's what apply to are the guys that go to the store once
a week and pick up a bottle of rubble.
You know, every week.
Well, and they drink it all.
Yeah, all of it.
Like we pick up.
We have 70 bourbons that are like not even half.
Yeah.
All right.
The next one is being unable to cut down on the alcohol despite a desire to do so.
Yeah, no, that one's legit.
I think I think that that's spread thin too, because I think a lot of it doesn't necessarily
mean that you're an alcoholic.
I think if you're by yourself and you have that issue, that's one thing.
I think if you're around like us.
Well, I think there's different types of alcohol.
There are very many.
There are very.
I think we should look up the different types of alcohol.
Yeah, there's social alcoholism and there's some folks who drink by themselves.
Yeah.
Yeah, I have a very difficult time sitting down and doing that.
You're just thinking of the person who has to have it every day or they suffer from withdrawals
they drink by themselves.
That's only one type.
Yeah.
And that's sad too, because those they have to feed that that devil in them.
You know, that's only quenched by alcohol.
And I feel bad for folks like that.
Well, yeah, I could imagine having to go through that.
Did you read all that?
Not way off track, but addiction in general is you're escaping something.
Well, I'll tell you what, I was addicted to cigarettes.
For the most part, that's why people do what they do, whether it's drugs, alcohol, whatever.
I was addicted to cigarettes.
And it's kind of an odd.
I mean, I wasn't like a huge smoker, but let's just say I smoked every day, which I did.
I would never wake up in the morning and want a cigarette ever.
Right.
After a few drinks, I had to have it.
A lot of people say that they cannot drink.
I mean, they only have a cigarette when they drink.
But the thing is, is it is it is a real, real thing.
Yeah, I believe that.
Because I'm telling you, I had to have that cigarette.
And I won't tell you the story, but sounds like it's happening.
No, not right now.
No, but I met the story.
There was a time I abandoned my kids to get a cigarette, to go run to the convenience
store, to go get a pack of smokes.
Were you jonesing for one?
Were you shaken?
No, but I really wanted one.
Why don't you take them with you?
They were asleep.
Oh, so this was like they were asleep.
They weren't going to wake up, but there's a chance they could have.
Right.
So it was like 12 o'clock at night and I was alone at the house.
I think I don't know where my wife was.
I think she was out having fun with her friends.
And I was just at the house and I was playing video games and having a couple beers.
I was like, oh my God, I really wanted a cigarette.
But that feeling, that feeling coerced me to leave my kids.
I mean, if you think about it, what if something had happened?
You know, I would be the one.
I think that probably happens more than you think.
And you're absolutely right.
What if something were to happen?
Yeah, well, as soon as that happened, I felt like I was such a piece of shit that I quit
smoking.
That moment?
Did it?
Yeah.
Oh, good for you.
That next day.
That's interesting.
Did you go through any kind of withdrawal or anything?
You know, strange enough.
No, I didn't.
Strange enough, though, every now and then I crave it.
I went through a phase where every time I smoked a cigarette, I became ill and I have
no idea.
I tell you what, that makes it easy when that starts happening.
Oh, yeah, because everyone around me would smoke and I would say, can you drag that?
I take one puff.
You're like gross.
And I'm like, no, not just gross, but I would physically get ill to the point where the
guys, because I used to be a disc jockey and to the point where my counterparts that we
would go out and I'd be like, no, no, because then you're an asshole for the rest of the
night because you're sick.
Oh, wow.
Yeah.
So it's a real thing.
So no, I didn't have any.
I didn't have any.
And then thankfully something happened where I got sick every time I tried it.
I mean, there are people who can't, who absolutely can't quit.
And then you hear stories of somebody who's been smoking for 40 years and they're like,
I'm done.
Yeah.
And they are.
And they don't, they don't, I mean, they cold turkey it and they don't, anything, nothing
like that.
My mom did that.
She smoked my entire life.
And you know, my craft in the arts class was always making my mom an ashtray.
Right.
Every time.
And it was no big deal back then.
So, you know, she had a bunch of ashtrays that I'd make and she quit cold turkey because
what she broke her hip and she didn't have access to cigarettes.
So it was kind of forced on her.
But I don't think she, I don't think she had any.
I wasn't there for all of it, but I don't think she was Jones and or anything, but she
was smoking probably a pack a day.
Oh, wow.
And so what'd you start making in craft class after she quit smoking?
That was when I was already down here.
So I wasn't making.
Oh, you weren't still making like in the movie ghost.
You know how they do the, yes, the pottery, like you and your wife didn't do that together.
We have, but not even that reason.
He would make the atomical.
What do they call that thing?
The thing that's the pottery wheel and pottery will you don't have one of those?
I do it in the garage.
Oh, I'll give this picture you do that.
I thought that was a great naked ghost was a great.
Oh, Demi Moore was in that she wasn't that she had short hair Patrick Swayze.
That was kind of weird to me.
What's the question you always ask about Demi Moore if you guys have seen about last night?
Oh, is it all nude?
Oh, yeah.
Well, no, she is all nude.
Yeah.
Underneath.
She's an interesting character.
Haven't heard much out of her in a while.
Yeah.
Which is fine.
I saw a picture today.
It was on the news.
She was with her three grown daughters.
I bet they're hot.
None of them.
That was this, the actual thing I noticed.
I was like, golly.
Oh, it's got the Bruce Willis gene.
I want to say that 70% of me where it's coming from because Demi Moore is a beautiful woman.
So I'd say 70% of the reason why women there's a there's a huge gap between beauty and pretty.
You know, God makes women beautiful and makeup just I mean, turns a corner.
So yeah, it does.
If you see any woman without makeup, come on.
I mean, there's only a very small amount of women that that can actually that have that
beauty that will pass it through.
OK, second picture from the left.
My wife is one of them was the one I saw today.
Shelly's one of them.
Oh, yeah.
That's not actually.
Yeah, it's kind of like the jaw.
Yeah, yeah.
The one who's the one who will become a baby.
And we're looking at her three daughters.
And this one on the right looks most like her.
It looks like her chugs aren't.
Stop it.
No, look at them.
They look like they're not in something like they don't have a bra.
They're going to tell me more.
No, the one on the far right.
Oh, oh, they're just kind of sitting out there.
Possibly.
And then the one on the far left, she looks like she's got a very dominant eyebrows that
comes across that looks like that was one brow at one time, kind of like Bert from Sesame
Street.
Mine used to be and I had to pluck it.
You had a Unibrow.
I do.
I did.
And then the other daughter in the middle, who's looks like this taller than the rest
of them.
I mean, she's dressed up like she's about to do the like some sort of boogie dancing.
You know, I think one's in Charleston.
It's Charleston.
Yeah, I think I think one of them is an actress.
She's been.
You know what?
They're cute.
You know, I think whatever.
I think rumor Willis, the real homely girl.
She looks like she has pretty blue eyes.
Rumor Scout to try to find a different picture.
Lula.
Yeah, maybe just a bad picture.
Maybe maybe they went to a Halloween costume.
Yeah, type of bikini after.
OK, never mind.
I'm moving along.
They do have the jaw.
Yeah.
Hey, you know what?
They do.
They all look very pretty.
They that was a very odd looking one.
They have very pretty eyes.
I'm a huge eye guy.
It's hard to tell when they have so much makeup on.
And they got weird clothes on.
Now, Ashton Kutcher, that's right.
He was married to her.
That was so crazy.
They married?
No, they were.
They were married.
Yeah.
Oh, I thought they were married.
Yeah.
They were married.
Yeah.
They were married.
Yeah.
Oh, I thought they were just dating for a long time.
Oh, they do have their dad's chin.
Yeah, I think it's the yeah.
That's a better picture than the last one.
You know what's awesome about that family, though, is the fact that Bruce Willis and
Demi Moore are like.
Friends.
Complete friends.
And they have absolutely no.
Well, we would never know if they have family issues or not.
Well, they keep it to themselves if they do.
If they do.
But it doesn't seem like there's any animosity.
No, it doesn't seem like it.
And they're always together.
Like they're always big family events.
They all get together and they all love each other.
And I think that's great.
Oh, they're pretty.
But my whole point is that I was kind of mean to bring that up that they is that most these
women they got if you if you cultivate your face, what is it?
No manicure your face, you know, with body and with makeup.
Oh, my God.
You could turn anything.
That's true.
You can turn anything into rock star.
In fact, I've seen I've seen some train wrecks that have turned a corner with a little bit
of love on that face.
But I'm not talking about the backstreet love like you used to, Paul.
I'm talking about makeup.
Oh, I'm not.
I'm not talking about baby batter rubbing it in.
It's like hardcore makeup, too, though.
I don't wear makeup.
I wear hearing aids.
So I picture you got a face tat.
I just grew up.
Face tat.
Yeah.
Thanks a lot.
By the way, sending those pictures to the group text.
What the hell, man?
It's OK.
Brian can send that shit.
No, I don't like when he does it either.
You both do it.
You both act like children on the group.
I thought it was a it was a lovely picture with you and your Fourth of July.
No, it was not lovely at all.
And then I made it look very cool with some face tats.
Yeah.
And a neck neck tat.
Yeah.
Anyway.
Yeah, you did.
We talked about something that we can have the lovely lady chime in on.
I'm just listening.
How about a taint tat?
Wow.
How do you feel about that?
Ouch.
She loves my.
Yeah, that's a good response.
She loves my taint tat.
Well, I'd have to think of the position you'd have to be in for a couple of hours while
they do that.
That's disgusting.
Yeah.
Either they're underneath reaching up or you're on your back.
Wow.
Can you imagine if you had a sneeze and you're like, oh, sorry.
I think.
Guarantee it's happened.
It's got to be like a harness.
So you're hanging in the air.
A harness?
Don't you get they put you in a harness.
So like your spread eagle.
And there's like a hydraulic lift and it lifts you up and the and the artist is underneath
you.
Like a gynecological table.
I bet that's what you're on.
Lord.
Wow.
Maybe.
Yeah.
Hmm.
I'll put it in my pottery wheel.
The maker's mark.
It's fifty five point three alcohol by volume.
One hundred and ten proof.
And she likes it.
Six.
And it's the nose is a coffee.
And as we said before, there's oak because they soak it in with staves of oak, which
are basically sticks.
It's got a nice spice, toffee, cinnamon, cocoa and oak finish.
I'm sorry, with the mouth and then the spicy warm with lingering notes of toffee, dusty
cocoa and oak.
You know, do you taste any of that, Shelley?
I tasted dusty cocoa.
No, but why do they have to soak everything in oak barrels?
That's where the color and the flavor come from.
Who said oak tastes good?
I do.
Hundreds of years of people.
No, but I'm like, why not do it in something different and see what it tastes like?
Oh, there are people that do different things.
Oh, yeah.
They put it sometimes they'll they'll put it.
Well, in order to be bourbon, it has to be in a new oak barrel, charred oak barrel.
But then the point of that and finish it in like port wine barrels.
A lot of those a lot of wood out there is poisonous.
That little factoid.
Yeah, that's you know, oak is you can soak in oak.
Some of the other wood out there like maple would be nice.
Yeah.
But again, I mean, yeah, a lot of that wood is I don't know.
I don't have a list, but I do.
There are different ones like old crow is particle board.
It's MDF.
Seriously, there's not.
Yeah.
And then you have well, whatever you got OSP.
Poison oak.
Yeah, we're going to soak it in the poison oak leaves.
How about treated, treated lumber?
What is like Adlerwood or, you know, cedar?
I don't think you can, you know, I mean, you could have some smegas have it smoked, but
I don't think you can, you know, you know, babe, I'm guessing that they it's just it's
what's worked.
It's a hundred years and they they know what what would work in its white oak.
And like Jeff said, it's a qualifier to to be a bourbon in order to be a bourbon.
It needs to be in a charred oak barrel.
Do you use the rule?
That's new to call it a bourbon.
You have to do that.
Right.
So that was that what was that?
What is the that scale you have there?
Mucus or irritation?
What are the columns?
This woods?
Is that what you watch?
There we go.
We got a toxic woods toxic woods.
All right.
So D's for deadly.
No dermatitis.
Dermatitis.
This is just allergies.
Yes, is right.
A is for eight.
What is for a for anal?
No, as an anal and dermatitis is what you don't want.
OK, so this is like this is probably anal dermatology.
Oh, but look at all that wood.
Very specific.
I have a birch dildo.
Wow.
And it's via it causes all sorts of splinters, splinters.
You have to go to the emergency room to get them pulled out.
Yeah, I bet there's lots of remedies that we're not aware of due to pharma and all these
pharmaceutical companies out there that don't want us to know, you know, what for wood dildos?
No, no.
What the hell?
What does happen?
That's what we were talking about.
There's lots of remedies for those splinters.
Remedy for his hair.
How do you go?
No, I just meant like there's a there's probably like like, for example, the dandelion, you
know, you there are people that say the that white cream stuff that comes out of dandelion
is is excellent for your heart.
Oh, right.
Right.
But yet the people that produce the killer, right?
Yeah, the same people that that produce heart medicine, low pressure medicine, blood pressure
medicine are the same people that make the dandelion weed killer.
Right.
So they don't it's like it's a natural additive that you can go to your backyard.
Yeah, but can you suck on a dandelion and you'd be fine?
I don't know.
You know why?
Or do they have to refine it because there's toxics?
Evidently, they scrub it on the Internet so you can't get it.
So it turns out that Milky White Sap and a dandelion stems is latex, the building block
of rubber.
Right now, most of the world's latex come from a rubber tree, a tropical rubber tree,
but with demand for rubber predicted.
But OK, but what about we put in there dandelion and blood pressure medicine or heart medicine?
So it's supposed to like do wonders for you is what I'm pointing at.
There's lots of things you hear you hear about these pharmacy companies going down to the
Amazon and they hunt for new flowers and plants because that's where a lot of the drugs come
from.
And then they synthesize.
So it contains a Terra Zastrol, a company known for having significant antitoxins produced
properties that combat inflammation that can help regulate white blood cells and keep them
from triggering inflammation.
Nice.
That's what I need.
So is it true that you can lower your blood pressure?
It doesn't say anything about that.
No, it's really it's no inflammation.
It's inflammation.
So if you have like a bum knee.
Well, I think inflammation can cause high blood pressure.
Yeah.
So it's important to keep in mind that this effect is not unique to dandelion, but applies
to any potassium rich food consumed as part of health care.
So speaking of which, why did neither one of you respond to the email that I sent you,
the text message I sent you to go get your heart checked out?
Because it had way too many words.
Well, I thought it was an error.
Yeah, but you don't even ask me about it.
I did.
Yeah.
I asked you a question.
I was like, what is this?
I thought you sent it to me by mistake.
That was Sean.
He said, this is Sean.
What you said?
Did you mean to send this to me?
This is Sean.
Yes.
Well, I said the same thing.
Oh, I don't get that.
But and then after you said yes, it was just I was busy.
I had time to think about it.
I still haven't.
OK, so now we're going to think about it.
Well, I mean, I want you to pull it up and find out what's going on with that.
Well, it's a heart scan.
Well, actually, it's a full body scan.
It's a full.
It's a right.
So it's going to cost me two hundred fifty bucks to tell me I'm going to die next year.
Would you like to do something about your health or not?
I mean, you're sitting here talking about dandelion stuff like it seems like you're
looking for alternative stuff to be healthy.
So why would you not want to see how you're doing?
Well, it's not really the fact that I want to.
It's more over a conspiracy trying to keep the human race down and keep us the pharmaceuticals.
It's not money.
Yeah, it's all about money.
It's all about this racket that they've got to keep the societies down.
OK, so this is what I do.
I go and let my insurance or in this case, this is a lot cheaper than insurance, run
all the diagnostic tests for me.
And then I take them to a nutrition nutritionist or an alternative medicine doctor and say,
how do I fix this?
Like, yeah, what do I need to know?
What do I need to do to fix this?
And so I'm not going to I'm automatically go and get on heart medicine or freak out.
It's like they do a carotid artery screening, a heart rhythm screening, abdominal aortic
aneurysm screening, peripheral arterial disease screening and osteoporosis.
Yeah.
So, I mean, those are all indicators of these are all screenings that generally your insurance
won't pay for unless you have symptoms.
And then I added the blood test on there to see what my C reactor protein level is going
to be to see how much inflammation I have in my body, because inflammation is the root
cause for every disease.
So if you're inflamed, a disease is brewing.
You could get arthritis, you could get cold, you know, you can have colon problems, you
can have to just it's going to affect everybody differently.
You can get hardening of the artery just but what how your inflammation in your body is
affecting you, you don't know until it turns into a diseased state.
So if you go here and you get your you see that you have a high C, C reactor protein
and you have high inflammation markers, then you go do something to lower your inflammation,
which means you're cutting the disease off at its source instead of just fighting the
symptoms which is all modern medicine does for you is fight the symptoms.
You wait till it's too late then you say, all right, now let's fight it.
So I have diabetes.
That's a great point.
Most of the time, the test that you get when they show up on that test, it's too late.
It's not it's not necessarily too late, but you didn't catch it early at all.
It's already a problem.
In other words, what was it what were you saying about liver enzymes?
Right.
Yes.
If liver enzymes show up on a blood test as elevated, you're pretty it's pretty bad.
Yeah, you that's right.
That's not the beginning of the problem.
That's been that way for a while.
So when I went for one of my checkups, the doctor's office, they had some lab is like,
I want to they're going to do like an experiment on you, right?
They want to take data, collect data.
So they said, we'll give you all these in depth tests for free, because they want data.
And so they did a test for me and my fibro-fibrogen level showed up high, which put me at high
risk for cardiovascular disease.
And that's my only marker.
And I'm like, what the heck is this?
Like no other markers were on there.
And so take a look at it.
But let me finish.
And so I took it to my nutritionist, because it's sticky blood.
My blood is thick and sticky.
So that leads to clots, right?
So all I did is get on high amounts of fish oil.
And in two weeks, that was the healthy range.
So you've taken fish oil for life now?
Fish oil.
Yeah, fish oil is good for you.
By the fish oil from Costco.
I'm sure you can get it elsewhere.
But it's a humongous thing.
So Julie and I can take it for a year.
And it's the non fish burp.
Because I guess some fish oils, when you take it, you get belch fish.
The ones I've been told is the cold water fish.
Yes, Norwegian salmon oil.
Right, and so there is a, I buy it at Costco as well.
It's not the gigantic Kirkland brand.
Yeah, this one's not Kirkland.
Yeah, I buy the-
It's a big green bottle.
I buy liquid fish oil.
You just take it by the teaspoonful.
And it's cheaper.
Does it taste like sardines?
I get oil.
Tastes like sardines, yeah.
Like lemon oil in there.
So what you have proposed-
Not krill oil.
Is that different from if I go to the doctor and say,
hey, I want a full panel blood test taken?
Yes.
It's the same thing.
No, that's the blood.
That's the blood.
They won't scan your arteries and your-
Yeah.
So they scan the arteries?
They won't do C-preactive protein either.
All right, so I mean-
You have to even ask them to add vitamin D.
It's as ridiculous as that is.
But what are you talking about?
So think of it.
I don't know what the hell you're talking about.
I go to the doctor.
I'm asking for a full panel.
They give me all the shit that comes back.
Now, they give me the super deluxe one.
Which includes what?
I'd have to pull it up.
I don't know.
But it's like twice as much as normally what you get.
But it's all blood.
It's all blood.
So that's what I'm trying to differentiate
what you are proposing, which I'm not against.
These are other tests, right?
They take a sonogram.
And they look at your arteries.
So there's a sonogram involved.
Yeah, and they're going to see how much plaque you
have built up on your arteries.
Like, Paul had all this done because he was having
an arrhythmia with his heart.
So they did the whole battery of tests for him.
And they said that you're at what risk for a heart
attack in the next?
0%.
Yeah.
Because he doesn't have any plaque buildup at all.
But because of me and the issues that I have with my legs,
I already have vein disease in my legs.
So it puts me at risk.
Do you have vein disease in your head, in your brain,
to look for aneurysms and stuff like that?
So it's just to see how you're doing.
You take vitamins as a preventative.
You go to the doctor and get a physical that's
supposed to be as a preventative.
Speaking of, I need to schedule my colonoscopy.
Oh, you haven't done that yet.
Well, I went to my doctor right before my surgery.
And I was like, well, I'm not getting my colonoscopy right
after my surgery.
So now I need to schedule one.
I've never had one.
I've had three.
I've had one.
I'm going to do like 10 this year because I've
reached my maximum insurance.
Oh, yeah, no, once we do the maximum out of pocket,
I'm doing one every other week.
I tell you, you need to buy like the booklet and just say,
I want a punch card.
I want to buy it for the next five years.
I'm going to buy it up front.
They have a Groupon.
I'm going to text my wife to remind me.
It's really not a big deal.
The prep, your butthole starts to burn the next day
on the prep because you're.
Oh.
Oh, I forgot about the prep.
The prep hurts.
100% of why it sucks.
It's nasty.
Well, yeah, you crap your brains out for about four or five
hours, right?
And then your butthole is raw.
So then every time you have to do it again, it stings.
And you're shitting water for like an hour.
It's very acidic.
Yes, because that's all that's left in your stomach.
Is that what it is?
It's bile.
I thought it was the Gatorade.
The Gatorade is salt. It's all the salt.
Well, I'm sure that's because your butt's raw.
Now you're putting salt on it.
And then you're.
It makes it so raw.
Then you're letting go of the Gatorade through your bottom.
And it burns.
That's where you need a little cooler
and have your little fudge bomb popsicles.
And you just go to the bathroom.
Sits bath.
Stick it up there.
And then cool that little bit.
But the colonoscopy itself is no big deal.
They don't even.
Like, you don't have to go out with general anesthesia.
So you're not sick and nauseous from that.
I have a very small anus.
I'm sure they have.
And how do you know this?
Just because you pop an O-ring with your doctor.
Thanks for sharing.
I have a very small diameter of poopies that come out.
Like, some people can shit like a bottle of water.
Like a baby arm?
Like a French bread roll or something.
Oh, yeah.
I think your kids can do that.
And also, well, I know you've been
very selective about the size of the fingers of your doctor.
Well, of course I am.
Right.
It just makes sense to me.
I've been scarred.
I mean, I haven't gone to the doctor since that O-ring blow
out I had the last time they just checked my prostate.
Well, you went like six times in three months.
Seriously, the stupidest thing I've ever heard.
That was Tara's fault.
Both of you are so stupid about being worried
about who sticks their finger up your asshole.
That Shawn, you need to go get your prostate checked
quarterly.
Two, three times a year.
Three, four times a year.
Yeah, that's a negative.
So I started going to the doctor.
Tara said that to you?
That's what she said.
So I was going to the doctor on a regular basis.
And the doctor doesn't tell you why?
Ask why you're doing this?
Well, I think the third time he was like.
But the third time I had gone over there
and I was kind of like, hey, man, look, how many times
am I supposed to be doing this?
Because my wife says this.
He's like, well, you're just like,
I don't forget what he says.
Once a year.
Once a year, right?
Once a year.
Once you turn 50.
Mine's twice.
But before he did that, I mean.
Yours is twice?
Yeah.
Oh, because of what you're doing?
Because of the testosterone.
He hurt me bad.
I don't understand that.
How can he hurt you bad?
What does that mean?
Sean was squeezing his butt.
Were you like puckering up really bad?
And he had to force it in there?
If I did, I didn't mean to.
And he tore your anus?
I think he threenuckled it.
Oh, he stuck his hand up there.
He got his whole knuckle in there.
One, two, three.
Did a new dollar in.
If you're tense, it's not going to be good.
That's right.
You've got to be loose and happy.
You have to sing Blue Moon.
Yeah.
Like Fletch.
Oh my god.
So I have to.
When they dim the lights and put the music on and make you
relax.
Can it be out for your colonoscopy?
Damn straight.
Like Michael Jackson, they used a propanol.
And it's really not a big deal.
It isn't a big deal.
Why did you just bring up Michael Jackson?
He used propanol to put himself to sleep.
Is that right?
That's phenol.
No, propanol.
Propanol, I believe.
Propanol, yeah.
It makes you go to sleep.
But you don't have to be on a respirator
because you're still breathing yourself.
So it's not under a general anesthesia.
So you wake up, and it's just like you took a long nap.
And you have a tube out your butt.
But again, you wake up right away.
That freaky sensation.
You know what I mean?
But you were asleep.
And the next thing you know, you're awake.
And you're like, what the hell's going on here?
That's interesting.
I blinked my eyes.
And now I.
Well, that's the way my surgery was.
I know.
That's the way most.
That's the way all of them are.
And what was weird is I was right across from the room
where I originally was.
I was just like.
You teleported.
Yeah, I was like.
You blinked.
Well, actually, no.
They wheeled me into the operating room.
And I remember laying there and I was just looking around.
And I was out, I guess, because then the next thing,
I was looking around, next thing I know, I was waking up.
Didn't you pass gas when you woke up?
I did.
I apologized.
I was half in, half out.
Oh, before you went in, you were in the room getting ready to go.
It was on the way out.
So I was waking up and they're like, oh, you did great.
And I was like, huh?
What?
And I went, I went.
And I was like, oh, I'm so sorry.
And I go.
And they go, oh, it happens all the time.
I go, oh, I guess it would.
I don't ever wake up on the way out.
They have to wake me up once I'm in the room.
I would imagine it wouldn't stink because there's
nothing in there for it to rot.
I think it's just air from the procedure.
Yeah, they blow you up with air.
We talked about this.
They turn on the generator.
Arrr.
I need to get that done, though.
This whole thing is very disturbing.
But I know I need to get it done because I'm unhealthy.
We'll do a group colonoscopy.
Yeah, they have a group on.
I'm just thinking, I know that you've
been worried about that, being unhealthy.
And so I thought, maybe if you got some tests done,
would that motivate you?
If you saw some bad numbers that came back,
would it motivate you to change your lifestyle?
And you know, the prostate cancer one is crazy avoidable.
Like, people dying of that.
Just get your prostate checked every year.
Well, you have blood work.
It's called PSA.
Your blood work comes back with numbers for your PSA.
Well, I mean, prior to that O-ring blowout,
I was going to the doctor regularly.
That was like five years ago.
You have to be your own advocate and make sure
that they're giving you the tests that you need.
I was.
I just haven't gone back since that O-ring blowout.
But I will.
I'll go back.
Go see the female doctor like I do.
I'm not going to go to a female doctor.
I do.
This is why women have children.
I don't.
Because you're crying about a finger being stuck up your butt.
He was a large man.
No.
No, yes he was.
They have large heads.
I birthed a baby with heads and shoulders.
It didn't come out your asshole.
That was your vaginage was designed to release a child.
Your butt is designed to release poop.
It's not designed to receive large man's fingers
the size of fucking bananas.
Most people's, your butthole expands to let the poop out.
Yeah, outwardly.
I've never heard you say anything like that before.
I'm just saying.
You're being dramatic.
I get it.
I'm being dramatic.
And I'm being a little childish about it.
But the thing is, I'll make time for it.
You have to, man.
Or just get colon cancer.
That's fine.
Well, and colon cancer runs.
And my grandfather died of colon cancer.
Then you should have had these things done in your 30s.
That's called you not advocating for yourself.
Well, I think you're wrong.
But I'm not wrong because my father just had colon polyps.
And I got, he didn't have colon cancer.
But you're insinuating that I haven't done that.
And I have.
I just haven't done anything in the last couple of years.
So you've had a colonoscopy.
I've never had a colonoscopy.
There you go.
So is that the only thing that could stay?
You have colon cancer in your family.
Someone's died of it.
That puts you at, your insurance would pay for you
to have colonoscopy before then.
Well, if you don't have insurance,
you can do whatever you want to do.
I did.
So you should have gotten it a long time ago.
Well, duly noted.
Thank you.
I'm just saying, you have to be an advocate for yourself.
Don't listen to what everybody says that you should do.
You've got to know your history, your symptoms,
and then go tell them these are the tests that I want run.
And then if they, insurance not going to pay for it,
then you go Google what the symptoms are.
And then insurance then pays for it.
But your listeners might get informed on this.
Mortality.
You know, and instead of everybody just joking around.
And let me piggyback on that.
The bottom line is people put all their faith in the doctor.
And they never ask questions.
They never only do their own research.
They're not aware of their family history
and what their pre-existing risks are.
You know what I mean?
They're not advocates for their own health.
They just assume, assume, assume.
Julie does.
She knows her history.
Everybody should.
She knows her history.
And she's like you.
She's had probably four or five colonoscopies by this point
just because of the risk that her parents are
dealing with, right?
Right.
So she makes sure she's checked.
Everybody should do that.
She's had the next scan.
She's done all that.
So she knows her family history.
A colonoscopy is a very slow.
I mean, colon cancer is a very slow growing cancer.
But it's not good when you get it.
Yeah, but so if you find it, it can be addressed.
I wanted to talk about, I know this is kind of a left turn
here, but you know how we've been talking
about a mess in San Francisco about people
can't be prosecuted if they shoplift?
Oh, under $950 or something like that?
Right.
Retarded.
So during the day, I think it might
have been today or yesterday, a group of people
get out of a van, run into Neiman Marcus.
Yep, I saw that.
Smash cases, grab purses, all sorts of stuff,
run out of Neiman Marcus, hop in the van, and drive away.
Yep.
During the day.
And there were several police officers outside.
And all they did was take their phones out and record.
So why are they not, they've seen
the ramifications of the stupidity,
and they're not changing the law?
No.
That's the liberal mindset where they're like, actually
they're seeing it as a cost savings, right?
Because the way they look at it is
if I have to prosecute all of them, it costs money.
We don't have room in the jail.
So they're just like, well, we're not going to do it.
Well, people wouldn't be doing that
if they had made the law.
Therefore, the need to prosecute them.
So that's not comparing apples to apples.
Because what you're going to have, and Target has done this,
what's happening is businesses are going to leave.
In San Francisco, they are leaving in droves.
Like Neiman Marcus is out that money.
There's no recourse.
I'm sure they have insurance and stuff like that.
But all of a sudden, insurance is going to go up.
Oh, you have a store in San Francisco?
Insurance will triple.
Oh, your insurance is going to go through the roof for that.
So I'm not going to put a store there then.
But Target, it was either in LA or San Francisco,
where they were having that same problem, where at night,
all these people would come in and steal a bunch of shit.
So they are shutting down their stores at like 6 o'clock
at night before it gets dark.
So all of the Target stores are closing early
every single day.
So are they just walking in and just taking things
and walking out?
They're not using violence or guns or anything like that?
No.
There's some footage of some guy in a bike at like a Walgreens
or something like that.
And he has a garbage bag.
And he's just screwing stuff into the bag,
puts it over his shoulder, and rides his bike out.
And then he's selling it?
And the probably.
And it was either a cop or security had their phone there
just recording them.
Because they know they can't do anything about it.
Well, you know, I'd shoot them.
That's your solution for a lot.
It is.
Dude, man.
I would raise the price of everything to $951.
Shoot them.
And then you get to the register.
And then the price goes down to what it normally should be.
But if you walk out the door, it says it's $951.
And you arrest them.
Yeah, then it becomes a grand larceny.
Not a bad idea.
What is that?
Grand theft?
I was going to say grand theft auto.
What is it called when you steal a lot over a theft?
It's larceny.
Grand larceny?
I think it's for $1,000.
Yeah, that's not a bad idea.
Well, the thing is, how you could go shopping,
you're like, oh, this pack of Tums is $951.
What is it really?
Right?
Well, it could give you the.
If you have a coupon.
It's a discount.
Then you have to use a coupon at the register.
But here's the problem with this concept.
The DA's office is never going to prosecute.
That's where the problem is.
Yeah, it's at the DA level.
You have light foot fart head light foot.
Gordon.
That's Chicago, is it not?
Yeah, but just folks like her.
I think he's a great singer, though.
That are just like, it's just sad.
I mean, the 4th of July celebrations,
speaking of Chicago, they had several riots, people wanting
to celebrate 4th of July, and some folk thinking
that it was racist to celebrate 4th of July in Chicago,
in Chicago on the streets, shootings and everything.
Where would they get that idea?
Gordon Lightfoot.
Where would they get that idea?
Because it wasn't there in the past, but it's there now.
Where did they get that idea?
From the news media.
Critical race theory.
It's the media, I think, is the big root cause of a lot of this.
It is.
I'm telling you, my solution is to shoot them.
It sounds odd.
People laugh, but guess what?
You can't go around killing people.
That's not helpful.
I'm not saying to do it, but if you want my opinion, shoot them.
OK, so don't ever put Sean in charge.
All right, look, what are you going to do?
Sticking them in jail is not going to work.
Can you give somebody a drug that just makes them
in a lot of pain for a long time that won't do any long term
effects?
Oh, what a great idea.
No, I'm serious.
If they're not complying or something,
yeah, you stick them with something,
and they're in tremendous amounts of pain.
And so they're like, oh, shit, I'm not going to do that again.
It's called torture.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah, there's that T word again.
OK, look, I'm not looking for it.
How do you control it?
What are you trying to control?
Well, you give the police their power back.
It's the mentality.
You have to try to evolve the mentality of what's behind it.
It's the culture.
You've got to train the parents.
It wasn't this way.
So we're devolving.
What's the word?
We are devolving.
Yeah.
We are devolving.
No question about it.
Well, certain sections are.
So the big inner city sections are.
What do you do?
If you have a cancer, what do you do with cancer?
You remove it.
You radiate it.
You take a test, and then you chemo it.
You get rid of it.
So all these cancerous individuals
that think it's bad to celebrate the celebration of being
independent from the British England, leave.
245 years.
See, the problem is they see us as the cancer these days.
That's exactly right.
And that kind of talk is like that's the oppressive state
that they are trying to liberate themselves from.
But what is there?
They believe that the country.
We were the ones that were oppressed.
And we came to the United States,
and it had nothing to do with race.
It had nothing to do with race.
It had everything to do with wanting those taxation.
But Jeff's right.
Their mentality is that the United States and our government
and our flag and our Fourth of July
and anything that we consider patriotic and blah,
blah, blah, blah, blah, they see that
as a symbol of oppression and hatred and racism.
And they're in their state the way they are because of that.
Where does it end?
It doesn't.
I don't know.
Because they're trying to get rid
of Bibles in public buildings.
I mean, they're removing statues.
I mean, where does it fucking end?
It's absolutely ridiculous.
I think people need to just fight back.
And I mean, like, peacefully.
I mean, you've got to elect people
that believe what you believe.
And they need to purge the agencies of the government
and purge media people that are honestly unpatriotic,
that are detrimental to the health of the country.
The problem is, is you have these sections of the country
that keep voting these yahoos in.
I know.
Like AOC.
Like Nancy Pelosi.
Well, the real problem, the underlying problem is,
I don't know if I said the real problem,
is there's no faith in the voting systems.
Because even though we're voting,
we don't believe that it's really real.
I think that's a recent thing.
I didn't think the voting system had a lack of integrity
until this last election.
But I don't know.
But you're right.
No, you're right.
Now it casts down on everything, doesn't it?
It casts down on everything now.
Even the 2016 election, I think there
was a lot of shenanigans going on there.
But they were like, well, we don't
need to really do that much.
Because Trump's going to lose no matter what.
But he frickin' won.
He won.
They couldn't believe it.
And so they, full court press, pulled out all the stuff.
And I think they won overboard this time.
Oh, they did go overboard.
But apparently not, because they're
getting away with it.
See, I think that all of this, the, what did I say the word
was?
Degenerative.
Devolving?
Yeah.
Of society is because we've taken God out of everything.
And we've eroded the family unit.
When you stop, when people stop having
to answer to a higher moral being, a higher being,
for morals, and then the government becomes that.
Well, values.
Values, morals.
Family values, community values.
Because back in the 60s, even the 70s and the 80s,
people got their morals and their values.
The difference between right and wrong, they got that from God.
And then you start, I mean, I know,
realize that they was taken out of schools in the 60s.
But this has been a slow erosion of what's right and wrong.
Now everybody gets to have their own version of right or wrong.
God set what was right or wrong.
And when people said he doesn't matter,
take him out of everything, separation of church and state
and all that kind of stuff, then we've just,
everybody gets to have their own opinion of what that is.
Right.
And it's a deranged opinion.
It's a deranged opinion.
We can all be living in the same subdivision.
So we have the same socioeconomic background.
Right?
We could all be all white people, all black people,
all Spanish people, whatever.
But the difference between right and wrong
is going to be a huge disparity versus way back when it was like,
if I went over to your house to have a sleepover,
I could pretty much guarantee you that it was going to be OK.
They had the same morals and the same values as I have.
Now the dad's going to say, it's OK that you
watched that rated R movie.
It's OK that you're looking at this.
It's OK that I run around in my underwear.
It's OK that I let you.
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa,
pump the brakes on the underwear.
Sean does that now.
Yeah.
I have a big issue with that.
Not in front of your daughter's friends.
Especially in podcasts.
Well, I mean, not on a purpose.
But sometimes they've come in, look,
my underwear cover more than those girls' bikinis.
You're an adult.
You're an adult, Sean.
Well, so are they at this point.
You need to start acting like one.
But I mean, you just talk about the F word.
You had me until I'm good.
And spitting in public and all that.
You would never see anybody spit in public.
It was disrespectful.
It was gross.
It's disgusting.
And now people, you see women spitting
in public on the sidewalk.
Like, what's happening?
The use of the F word is everywhere.
It's respect your elders.
It's respect authority.
And granted, there's like some bad apples
that have caused this uprising.
So here's the problem.
We've talked about this before from the perspective of what
is the default human nature.
OK?
If you've got no good influences in your life at all,
what is default?
Default is not good.
It's survival.
Default human nature is not good.
It's evil.
It literally is evil.
Right.
I need to survive at any cost, right?
Yes.
It's good for me.
Generally, I mean, I don't think people
would be born with this innate thought of,
I'm going to take care of my neighbor.
I'm going to love my brother.
I'm going to respect my parents.
No, you have to be taught that.
You have to be given a set of rules and laws and morals
and held in check with that, generally, by a higher power.
Right?
And that everybody believes in that higher power.
And I shouldn't do it.
That's not the only way, though.
We've met some, I guess, I don't know if they're atheists,
but they don't believe in such an extreme religion
and higher power.
And they're really good people.
But you know why?
Because they also believe in a moral set of code, right?
A moral code.
They just don't want to name the person, the being that
gave it to them.
Right.
Maybe.
So the other thing.
But my point is, if you don't have that system,
you're generally not going to be a good person.
Well, and you're going to get it from social media.
So before, when all of us were growing up,
it was your parents.
So if you had a good moral foundation
from your parents and your grandparents
and your neighbors and your school,
then you were going to grow up pretty secure and pretty.
You're going to be making some good decisions.
Right?
So now, if you don't have that, or even if you do have that,
who speaks louder?
Social media.
Yeah.
Social media.
Social media is a look at me thing.
Look what I have that you don't have.
Even though it's fake or can be fake.
And it's more than that.
People are evil to each other on social media.
Well, there's no recourse.
Evil.
Well, and it's like, why do we need
to have respect for the police?
Look at what these police are doing to us.
So they put a false narrative out there,
and they get these young kids to believe that you don't need
to respect the police anymore.
So it doesn't matter how much mom and dad are saying.
Mom and dad talk to their kids maybe 20 minutes a day.
Right.
They're on their phone for 12 hours a day.
So who has the most power?
Yep.
It's the social media.
Filled with just garbage.
Just look what happened with the women's soccer team today.
Perfect example.
And you know what?
That is a great example, because I
consider the US women's soccer team
to be on the liberal end.
They've had all sorts of controversies
about kneeling for the flag and all this kind of stuff.
Well, they have a quote.
I'm sorry.
I'm stealing the story from you.
Go for it, Jeff.
No.
Well, you actually brought it up earlier.
And I read the headline.
I didn't read the story.
But I guess it was during a match.
They were playing the national anthem
and a older veteran was playing.
I don't know if he was on a harmonica or trumpet
or something like that.
He was on a harmonica.
A 98-year-old World War II vet.
Yeah.
And there was a picture or a video.
Some of them had their back turned to him.
And some were facing him.
And of course, there was an uproar on Twitter
and every other social media thing out there saying,
bad things, this and that.
And what the truth is?
Yeah, because there was that person on the podium,
Gwen Berry, the hammer thrower.
Yeah, the hammer thrower.
She turned away from the anthem on the podium.
Correct.
Anyway, so that's kind of what had everybody sensitive.
Keep going.
Yeah, so once you dig into it, and there's
a big firestorm throwing down on the women's league.
And they deserve some of the stuff
they've gotten in the past.
Agreed.
But this time, they didn't.
And this was the soccer team.
The soccer team.
The women's soccer team.
And like I said, they deserve some ridicule in the past
or some comments.
But this time, they didn't.
Because what happened is some had turned to face the flag,
which looked like they had turned their back on him.
And the other half didn't.
They were facing the guy.
And there were people that were facing away from him
with their hands over their hearts.
Correct.
Facing the flag.
But the fact that someone took a picture and made a comment,
it just spread.
It got viral.
And it got nasty.
And it wasn't true.
It's a complete false statement.
That's what social media can do.
They could spread false.
It's gossip.
And it does it.
It's gossip.
Every day, all day long.
And so we're called not to gossip.
You're not to defame other people's reputations.
You're not to gossip.
And that's all that these kids see.
We've never done that on this podcast.
That's all that these kids see.
They see presidents do it.
They see congressmen do it.
They see news anchors do it.
So they think it's OK.
Yeah, I've said it before on this.
Did you finish your beer?
I was trying to take a note while she was talking
to respond to something.
And I threw a pen.
Oh, I thought you drank your entire beer
and threw it in the can.
This isn't a beer.
Wow.
It's seltzer water.
I don't know what this is.
Oh, that's beer flavored water.
Yes, it is.
Are you unhappy with your beer choice or my beer choice?
Well, you have to learn.
Now you've learned not to get it again.
The problem is it was a three for one deal.
So you have 90 of these.
I have 90 cans of Frio.
I will help you purge them.
But I do want to see if we can't break them down
into some sort of denomination, like maybe three and three.
Maybe we'll start off with one round of this.
All right, then we're going to have a real beer.
I'll tell you what.
I have a lot of beer left over from July 4 that is not Frio.
So next week I'll bring that.
Actually, I'm not going to be here.
We're going to Colorado.
La la la.
That's not what you said.
That's a Colorado.
Yes.
Man, I am excited for you going to Colorado.
I can't wait to go back.
I would just like to go.
I know.
Well, we have access.
I've got some friends from work that actually have a few places
up there we could check out.
Like a ranch?
Oh, you're going to go to your other A-listers?
Your other A-friends?
I don't know if they're A-listers,
but we could hunt for pronghorn.
What?
Is that?
That's not a fish.
No, it's an antler.
Or not an antler.
It's an antelope.
It's like a mountain goat.
Yeah, it's got the short horns with the little prong on it.
And why would you want to hunt those?
To eat.
Huh.
Very gamey.
No, the pronghorn antelope.
Right there.
Yeah, I didn't.
You know what?
There's a lot of things you could have said there,
but I didn't see that one coming.
Yeah.
Well, I know they're up in like North...
Beautiful creatures.
Look at the nice patch.
That's more North... New Mexico.
No, it's North America way...
or up in the U.S.
It's like North Dakota.
You know what's interesting about some of those...
Yes.
Well, what are those animals that are on the fields in New Mexico?
Those are gazelles.
I don't...
That's Africa.
That's...
No, New Mexico.
Yes, that's Africa.
No, New Mexico is in the United States.
What?
Yeah, New Mexico is in the United States.
Thanks for backing me on this.
Well, someone said something about Africa.
Yeah.
That's where the gazelles are.
There are gazelles in Africa.
Okay, well, I'm not talking about...
They're not in New Mexico.
The water buffaloes?
The water buffaloes.
The saboos.
There is some sort of antelope,
and you can see them all the time when you're driving up there.
I'm sure there's very...
a lot of different species of antelope.
Look at New Mexico antelope.
The New Mexican antelope.
How about steers?
New Mexican steers.
The pronged horn.
Okay, that's not true.
No, the pronged horn is up North.
Yeah.
It's up North.
Okay, that's not true.
The pronged horn is up North.
Native to the Kalahari Desert.
This is going off.
The African oryx.
Or the Gems box.
Yeah, why?
Where are we here?
I don't know.
African oryx?
This is like off the...
Now lives in southern New Mexico.
You know, any time those pictures come out,
they... they crucified those... the women hunters.
Well, have you seen the one where they had those...
a couple that was posing with a lion that they shot?
I haven't seen it.
And they...
And they were tearing them up.
Well, the... they were posing for a picture,
and then the... one of the other lions decided to do a photo bomb.
Eat them.
And then... I don't know what the end result was,
but they were attacked.
That generally doesn't go well when a lion attacks you.
No.
And I don't know what the end result was, but...
You see, because it was a live... it was a camera,
and it was live.
And then the guy kind of like walks off,
and the girl's still standing there.
She's holding this big, frickin' lion mane head, you know?
And then all of a sudden, she was like...
She hears something, she gets spooked, looks behind her,
and you see the frickin' other lion come in and pounce down.
No.
And he hears a scream.
No, you do not.
Then it cuts.
This is total fake news.
That was out of... that was out of Africa.
Meryl Streep.
That's when the tiger eats Meryl Streep?
Correct.
That's a thing.
We can only hope.
I don't believe this.
Did you see the footage?
My friend sent this, if we can't find it here.
You know when you're parasailing in the ocean?
Yes.
Or the boat is pulling you on the parachute?
Yes.
Well, there's footage.
It just happened a couple days ago, I think.
Maybe in June.
Where the couple... you know,
where you're kind of sitting down on your legs,
you're dangling.
These people, their feet were basically just in the water.
A shark jumps up and grabs the guy by the leg.
And it looks like a seven or eight foot shark
comes halfway out of the water and bites the guy's leg.
Oh my God.
And he lost his heel, lost some muscle and stuff.
I got the footage on my phone if you can't find it.
But it's crazy.
You're like, what do you do?
So then he's flying through the air, bleeding?
Probably.
The boat probably took off to get him up out of the water.
That's what I'm saying.
Why did it not bleed out?
I don't know.
Good God.
That's awful.
So a tandem parasailers hovering.
Yeah, there it is right there.
Just above the water surface.
On the video?
On Red Sea.
Sustained injuries.
Your video was on the other one down.
Yeah, so it's a crazy thing I've seen.
You can't hear you because you're not talking
into your microphone.
It's video right there.
All right, well, let's see it.
The Red Sea.
I didn't know they had sharks in the Red Sea.
Well, I don't know what kind of shark it was,
but it jumps out.
That is unbelievable.
How unlucky do you have to be?
Yeah, I know.
And you're, well, I mean, you're kind of like trolling,
I guess, right?
This contains footage that may be considered distressing.
You kind of see a splash right there.
Watch.
That sounds like a dog.
You see it jump up?
So the video shows the shark coming out of the water.
Probably four or five feet.
Oh, maybe even more.
That's a big shark.
And grabs the dude.
And then, but it doesn't, you say he only took a heel, so.
Well, I think it looks like it kind of got him like,
I don't know if it went.
Yeah, it was teeth, man.
It raked his leg.
I think it raked down his leg.
Oh, yeah.
God.
I mean, what do you do?
I mean, what's the guy sitting next to you like?
Holy shh.
He's like, hey, man, you're bleeding.
Yeah, and then I'll hear come the rest of the shark.
Hey, man.
Go, go, go.
You're missing a heel.
Oh, man.
That's horrible.
Well, they don't look like seals, so I wonder why they did that.
The shark did that.
Well, I mean, who knows?
You see something frolicking on the top of the water like that.
It's going to get.
It's almost like you were like a human bobber.
Like a lure.
A lure.
Yeah.
Maybe in that part of the world, they eat birds that land on the water.
There you go.
I don't know.
I'm sure it looked goofy.
I mean, that's why sharks attack surfers.
They think it's a seal or something.
That's right.
They've done that.
They've gone underneath and looked at what it looks like.
And they're like, not a tiger is a lion.
So anyway, that just happened.
And that is horribly unlucky.
Can you imagine that?
That says loin.
Yeah, that would be.
Oh, that's a whole different couple kill lion and then karma hits them.
Couple get attacked by a loin.
That just makes me angry.
That's it right there.
Hold on, there's there's there's.
So this happened in 2016.
There's an overrun of kill line and then karma hits them.
There's an overrun of lions in the Serengeti.
I don't know.
We have to we have to hunt the lions for population control.
People just want to do it.
Not what I'm saying.
I don't.
OK, well, I'll give you the explanation here in a second.
Oh, my gosh.
Shit just got real because there was another line that came right after them.
How does it feel?
I want to know the camera to get them.
Yeah, they're pooping.
I want to know how it ends.
Well, you could probably hear it.
Oh, you could see the next picture is two lions laying there.
Oh, no.
OK, so here here's how this works.
A lot of people don't know this.
Right.
Safaris, right.
They pay people pay a ton of money.
OK.
And they do all of the conservation and the game game control and all that kind of stuff.
OK.
And they're just like just like experts that know exactly how many deer they need to kill so that the deer don't over eat the land and start that's happening in Africa.
It's happening in Africa.
Or they just want to take money because they're so it happens.
It can happen.
Every single game management area has to be managed.
So what they do is they charge these people ridiculous amounts of money and they let them purge an aging lion.
You know what I mean?
Like they're shooting ones that they know they're going to.
It's OK because then they make money and it it feeds the whole system.
All right.
So I know that and I think there's a limited number.
Right.
They say we need to get rid of 10 lions.
It's kind of like crocodile hunting or any kind of hunting you get so many tickets that you can cash in that you're allowed to.
The game warden says hey man you got 15 lions.
I mean guys for the elk hunting I'm doing this fall.
I mean we all got one.
You know you get lucky if you get a bull tag.
You mean sit in the wilderness.
Sit in the wilderness for days in the freezing cold and see nothing because they're not real creatures anyway.
Well that's because you're infused in gasoline.
Well I'm not going to be this time.
Well you weren't planning on it last time.
No I wasn't.
You're going to travel up there.
This is insane.
Yes I marinated.
I marinated in gasoline.
All this trouble to descent yourself.
Oh grub.
I threw away the bag.
No I'm just saying what you did before the gasoline was spilled.
Why don't you tell that story Paul.
What did I do?
What do you mean?
Well you went hunting somewhere and you were to go hunt some elk.
You wash all your clothes in this special shampoo so that you don't have any scent.
You go through all this trouble.
That's what Jerry was saying.
You thought it was really important.
They can really smell so you need to wash it with like this scentless hunter stuff.
Like we went through all these things and then of course I'm doused in gasoline.
I mean what do you think is going to happen?
I'm like Linus with this gigantic gas cloud around me.
Well he was too wasn't he?
Well he was dirt but yeah I'm the gas Linus.
There weren't any elk in probably a 20 mile radius.
His bag didn't get infused.
I'm amazed I didn't go up in flames at any moment.
Well you're lucky that the camper didn't explode.
I was going to look in the rear view mirror to a flaming RV.
Cut and lose.
Boom.
Jerry cut and lose.
It was a nightmare.
He pulls a rip cord.
Nightmare.
Alright so what the folks don't know is that Paul went on a hunting trip and they were in a truck and they were pulling an RV in a fifth wheel.
And there was a five gallon tank of gas that was set in the RV that toppled at some point.
And when it fell over the gas came out.
It was a slow process but it came out and it soaked.
And it worked its way over to the bottom of my bag and up through the bottom of the bag and into my clothes.
And it saturated everything.
So could you sleep in that or was it just too fumey?
They got a hotel.
Well that night we did and then we scrubbed the inside of the RV.
Just what you want to be doing on this?
Oh my god it was a nightmare.
Freezing.
And then it was still awful.
It was still awful.
And so we slept the first two nights.
He said the same thing I did.
I was having dreams that I'm going to asphyxiate.
Because the fumes were so bad.
I had the blanket over my head and I was like...
I mean it was awful.
It was so cold.
Could you crack the window or was it just too cold out?
Well I think we had everything aired out.
I mean everything open.
That's a low wind scenario.
Luckily the next day or two days later it dropped to negative eight.
So there was no...and that helped.
It really really helped.
Because the cold air just kind of kept everything down I guess.
And we kept the door open.
Like the big ramp.
Kept that open during the day.
So that it would continue to air out.
But it was a nightmare.
Yeah.
That's not going to happen this time.
So every elk within 20 miles smelled you.
At least.
And they were all gathering together going...
Look at these guys.
Did you smell the gas guy over there on the other side of the ridge?
What a moron.
And he's wearing camo.
That doesn't matter.
Yeah right.
Like Far Side, you know how they're all smart and they talk and stuff?
That's exactly what they were doing.
So was it? All that new...
They were literally calling elk from all around going...
You got to come see this guy.
Come on guys.
I don't understand why you wear camo and then a bright orange jacket.
That's what I said.
You know what?
It makes no...and I even asked the other hunters that.
I was like...so is orange like a colorblind thing to them?
And they're like...I don't think so.
I'm like...how freaking retarded is that?
You spend all this money on camo.
Camo everything.
Except this.
Everything. Except this bright orange cap and a bright orange vest.
And you're doing it to save your life.
So other hunters don't kill you.
Then why bother with the camo?
And you should be wearing white camo.
You're hunting in the snow.
That's badass.
So why are you wearing green camo?
You're not camouflage at all.
Is that Moon Waker wearing the white suits and they're skiing down the mountain shooting at each other?
That's one of the...or is it You Only Live Once or Twice or something like that?
What's that? I thought it was...I don't know.
On Her Majesty's Secret Service.
So many movies keep doing that scene over and over again.
But it's awesome.
True Lies.
That's in True Lies too, isn't it?
Yeah, it is in True Lies with Schwarzenegger.
So that was my same question.
I think I asked him the same thing because I went to Shields when he bought all this stuff.
I asked, I was like, why are you buying this when you have to wear a bright orange vest?
Yes.
And then you carry a seat to sit on and the seat is bright orange.
That's it.
And that's strapped to your backpack.
Both are in trading places.
So basically you should just wear fluorescent.
And a fish called Wanda.
So answer those questions.
Yes, I'm sorry.
I got distracted by Jamie and Curtis in True Lies.
What?
It's just stupid.
I don't think anybody's ever asked that question.
Of course they have.
What?
Oh no, we're not talking about Jamie and Curtis.
We're talking about the hunting.
She's a hermaphrodite.
I don't think that's not true.
She has big boobs.
And apparently a penis.
And we can stop there.
She has a penis?
No, her hermaphrodite has a vagina and a penis.
Both sexes. Both sex organs.
Well, she has kids, doesn't she?
Yeah, I don't know.
So is she like asymmetrically impregnant herself?
No.
It's called tucking.
That is a huge...
I don't know if you can tuck.
Of all the conversations I've had about hermaphrodites,
I've never heard that question.
Can one impregnate themselves?
How did that rumor get started?
That's such a mean rumor.
Hold on, hold on.
Go down one arm.
Well, there's one more.
She's like, shoot, leave.
Wow.
What does that mean?
Well, she's like, leg spread.
No, it's like a...
I want to see the picture below it.
It's a sports drink.
Yeah, go down one, one.
Right, one more.
Right down.
Leg straight up in the air.
Right there.
Yes, right there.
Oh, really?
Look at that.
Yeah, that's a little vivid.
I know, but I mean, what's up with that?
It was just an opportunity for you to look at soft porn.
No, it's just weird.
She's got this white vest kind of...
Oh, stop.
...frock arms of some sort.
Have you ever seen the pictures of Michelle Obama that have a bulge?
I'm going to pass.
Yeah, what is that bulge?
Those are scary.
They are.
That Philadelphia steak sandwich is just rippled.
Needs to be trimmed down.
Subway sandwich Mr. Maker guy, I wanted a single meat, not triple meat.
What?
Hats off to you.
We lost you big time.
You're talking about Michelle Obama, right?
Yeah, the bulge.
Dude, that's a steak sandwich.
What's the bulge mean?
She's got a penis.
Or she just has untamed pubic hair.
No, no.
Quite bulgy, like 70s porn pubes.
Shelly, this is a family show.
My God.
Well, hold on.
Can women's pubic hair get so dense that it creates creases and folds?
You had to think.
You had to think on that.
And it creates like a tip.
It's like an afro.
So dense.
I don't think so.
As tight as these clothes where there's no hair that creates those creases and folds.
Austin, pull it up.
I think what she's got there is a Michelle Obama bulge.
A case of meat-ish.
So you're just saying full on penis.
I don't think it's a penis.
You think it's just a meaty area?
I just think it's a nasty steak sandwich.
So you're saying very full lips.
Oh, wow.
Imagine a Philadelphia steak sandwich.
This is photoshopped.
I mean, seriously.
No, that one's photoshopped.
I don't think so.
Look at that.
It's got a tip and everything.
There's a head.
No.
These are photoshopped.
She's been circumcised.
I don't know.
I just don't know.
Well, she's got kids, so you know.
Does she?
Are they hers?
Yeah.
I don't believe she has a bulge.
You know what the problem I have with Michelle Obama is that she is so much that she's not.
I mean, she's like a...
It disgusts...
You know what?
Maybe it's just a matter of I'm just mad that they totally dissed Ivana Trump.
Melania Trump.
They massively disrespected her.
And then they put her on...
They put Michelle Obama on...
What is the white blonde chick's daytime?
Ellen.
Ellen, they had all kinds of fun.
It was just...
They just completely just totally knocked Ms. Trump...
You know what it was?
What?
It was basically middle school bullying is what they did to her.
So immature.
It was.
It was awful.
I felt bad for her.
Yeah.
And then the news today was there was a Melania Trump sighting today.
Melania Trump is seen leaving the Trump Tower during a visit to New York City.
I mean, that's the hype on the news.
That's it.
Well, she's probably fine being out of the public eye now.
She never wanted to be in it.
I can guarantee it.
Nothing she did or said could...
I mean, they mocked her accent.
I mean, do you have any idea how someone would be torn up for mocking...
Let's say Michelle Obama had an accent.
Yeah, so why do you expect children to... they're growing up in this culture.
So why do you think we're going to produce anything other than disrespectful jerks and thugs?
That's why they need to shoot people.
We're back to that.
The reporters that are feeding this shit...
Just line them up in front of a ditch.
Again, I don't think they need to be shot realistically.
They just need to be held accountable for...
They need to be held accountable for ethics.
Like how?
There needs to be some sort of ethics committee.
So they should get fired.
I think they should.
When you're posting wrong things, what's that called?
Libel or perjury?
What's that called?
When you...
It's called dishonesty.
No, but it's called something when you print something that's false.
Well, there is libel and there's slander.
Slander, that's it.
Well, I mean, it depends on what the context is, right?
Well, it's just like the lady at ESPN, right?
It's all slanderous.
It seems to go one way but not the other.
Agreed.
What happened to her?
That's just it.
There needs to be some sort of unbiased ethics board that says,
hey, man, look, you can't say that shit.
Well, the one that...
Because it's not true.
It's a fucking lie.
Yeah.
And you need to...
It's bullshit.
The problem is the fact checkers slant the one way also.
Oh, they're horribly biased.
Well, we have this fact checked.
Well, yeah, you agree with the same that they're false.
So that's my solution.
My solution is you get some sort of...
Dude, Mr. Producer, we are incredibly distracted by what the fuck is...
Yeah, we're staring at a pronghorned antelope.
Can you...
Yeah, move on to something other than Michelle Obama's bulge.
The pronghorn.
Well, just two days earlier, Trump was seen wearing a white
MAGA hat as well as he waved to the supporters while arriving in
the Big Apple where Melania was flanked by her security details.
She left the Fifth Avenue residence in a four car secret service convoy
at 8.15 in the morning.
So I'm surprised they haven't tried to strip him of his security yet.
Pelosi went there at one point.
Oh, did she?
Oh, yeah.
Is that one of the...
You've been impeached twice so you don't get security?
I think that was part of the impeachment trial was they wanted to strip him of his security access.
Security clearance.
That's stupid.
You have to anyway.
How does that even work?
You're president, so you can't...
I don't know.
Good question.
They have it for the rest of their lives.
Presidents do.
Is that true?
Yeah.
For what purpose?
What do you mean?
They need to be protected by a secret service their entire lives until they die.
Oh, no, no, no.
We're talking about security clearance.
Security details is different than...
I'm talking security details.
Oh, okay.
Okay.
So she was trying to strip him of his security details?
That's outrageous.
Is that what you said?
No, I was talking about security clearance.
Oh, he thought there was security...
No, I was like...
I thought...
I said I wouldn't be surprised if they try to do that at some point.
Oh, okay.
No, I have not heard that.
Well, it doesn't matter.
He's rich enough.
He can have his own security detail.
Right.
And frankly, the guys that work for him now were the ones that worked for him then.
He can afford his own security detail.
I mean, I recognize the same security guys.
Before, when he was the actual president, they were all wearing suits.
And now they're wearing plaid shirts and stuff.
But they're the same guys.
Are you 100% sure on that?
Because the secret service, they don't just let private contractors join the secret service to...
Yeah, they do.
I know for a fact they do.
How?
Okay, well...
Well, because the guy...
Because they do.
There's a guy that's a Navy SEAL.
And that's what he said.
And why would I not believe him?
Name your source.
I'm kidding.
You don't have to name your source.
Because then you'd have to kill Jeff.
No.
I mean, I'd tell you, but I don't want to talk about somebody else.
We have one minute.
Well, thank you for that.
You wanted to wrap up early or something.
She's like, I got one minute.
All right.
Well, my point by saying that is that they do.
Wow, 1.75% fixed rate on mortgages.
Oh, that's an ad.
Yeah.
Is that true though?
I get...
That's a really low mortgage rate.
I just did two.
Holy cow.
Is that 15 or 30?
It's 60.
All right.
So I don't know if we talked about this.
That's how folks in California for their house.
60 years.
But they have Ohio troopers, a national guard being sent to the southern border.
They have like 11 or 12 different states in the United States that are sending troops to the south border because...
I love that.
Because we're not allowed to.
We're not getting federal support.
So individual states are.
I love that.
The administration is trying to stop.
They're...
Okay, imagine...
I know.
Just for Texas or California too.
Well, it's the border, right?
I think Texas started it.
It's the whole southern border for Mexico.
The whole border, okay.
That they're sending...
California won't allow it.
Other states are helping us out by sending troops down because our own administration isn't.
Okay, so the administration is so hung up on trying to prevent us from allowing to protect our border that they're actually trying to queer up the pipeline for the paperwork to get these guys down here.
I know.
Insane.
It's like, why are you getting involved?
You're the federal government.
It makes it so obvious that they want open borders and let people stream across the border.
Well, you heard it last week.
We talked about this.
He wants to give Amnesty to two million immigrants.
What he is saying to the world, keep coming, keep coming, because I'm going to let two million...
And we only have until November of next year to do it.
That's right.
That's exactly what he's saying.
You should continue this on the next podcast.
We probably should.
Well, we'd finish, but we don't have music.
We're going to keep talking until we get music.
There it is, baby.
Our lava lamp finally decided to gestate.
It's doing its thing.
It's not moving.
It's not heated up enough.
Looks like it tested.
My poop is smaller than that.
I just want to say that lava lamp, it's...
That's pretty big.
Has your poop always been that size?
Yeah.
It's never been bigger.
Do you squeeze your anus when you poop?
I just go.
You squeeze it really hard and then poop.
Do you mean like pinch my sphincter?
Yeah, and then poop at the same time.
Why do you play the music and talk over it?
Because it's fun.
Well, we're supposed to fade it out.
Yeah, but he gets louder.
He did that on purpose.
He did.
That's his way of saying shut the fuck up.
Yeah.
All right, we'll catch you guys at point two here.
All right, I got to pee anyways.
All right.
See you next time.
.