So she was in a bikini.
Oh yeah.
So.
I mean she was like up on me and all over me.
We were hugging.
Music.
Alright so where do you draw the line on these experiences that you're.
I think you don't.
I'm kidding.
You mentioned about the tattoos.
I mean what's an appropriate tattoo on a taint?
An appropriate tattoo on a taint?
What do you think like a palm tree?
Is there an inappropriate tattoo on a taint?
I think arrows.
In which direction?
Both.
So welcome back to the podcast.
We're talking about taint tattoos and arrows pointing in the wrong direction.
You'd have two fingers pointing at the stink or the pink and then you'd have one finger
pointing at the stink.
Okie dokie.
So you tattoo the shocker.
And there we have it.
Paul that's what you mentioned downstairs anyway.
I didn't say anything about the shocker.
Actually needless to say we sampled another high caliber bourbon and this one.
It's actually not a bourbon.
It's a premium whiskey.
It's a Tennessee whiskey.
Tennessee?
Oh that's a great song.
Yes it is.
He's really good at that.
Alright so here's a little background.
It is 1856.
Go ahead Sean.
I was just looking at the label.
That's kind of a cool house.
I can't really read that.
It doesn't really offer like a factoid.
No the name of the whiskey.
Uncle Nearest.
Uncle Nearest 1856.
1856.
Premium whiskey.
It's 100 proof.
It is 100 proof.
It's aged in charred barrels.
It doesn't say which level of char.
Level 4.
They're maple charcoal filtered.
Yes it is.
It's handmade in Tennessee.
And it's an award winning American whiskey.
And it is Uncle Nearest 1856 premium whiskey.
It's not bad.
I mean.
Now here's the deal.
It's a three star.
It is a mashbill of 90% corn and rye with at least the remainder being malted corn.
What did I say?
What did I smell?
All from, I don't know what did you say?
I smell grass.
What does it say?
What did you say Sean?
Paul's what?
Paul's butt?
No I didn't smell that.
What did you smell?
Paul's butt?
No.
That's when you spilled the popcorn he was trying to clean it all up.
No that's because I was attacked by a bunch of ants.
Oh shut up.
You pansy.
90% corn and rye with at least the remainder being malted corn.
All from Tennessee farms according to Uncle Nearest.
Uncle Nearest what the heck.
1856 a blend of premium aged whiskeys between 18 and 14 years old.
It's been a caramel color with a beautiful deep golden hue on the nose.
It is a dark beautiful hue by the way.
I love the hue here.
I love the stone fruit.
The hue.
Stone fruit.
What is stone fruit?
Yeah I did.
I did smell.
I did taste.
I tasted.
A stone fruit would be something you'd find on a fruit tray.
So I didn't smell.
The nose to me had no fruit but I will tell you that the taste absolutely had some fruit
in it.
I definitely smelled the grass when it was first poured.
Well stone fruit would.
I smell.
It's a fruit with flesh or pulp enclosing a stone such as a peach plum or cherry.
Alright here's the nose.
Ready?
I've never heard of that.
Stone fruit is a seed.
Hold on.
Hear me out here.
The nose is a sniff initially brings in a rich molasses.
Like sweetness to the nasal passages.
It quickly gives way to an earthier bouquet of grass.
I smell like.
Charcoal and nutmeg and a touch of maple adding a bit of sweetness.
I kind of smell the apricot.
It lingers pleasantly sweet on the palate with notes of vanilla after the spice dissipates.
Or tangerine.
I feel like I feel like we're doing the NPR skit on on on SNL.
Well when they talk about sweaty balls.
Sweaty balls.
Long and rich finish lingers pleasantly sweet on the palate notes of vanilla.
And it has better kind of has a marmalade.
Not really but it kind of sounds like the guy from war games.
You know hell I'd piss on a spark plug if I knew it'd help.
Is that what he says.
I've never watched that movie.
Are you kidding me.
If I did I don't remember Matthew Broderick.
You never see a game.
I don't think so.
Yeah.
You want to play thermal nuclear war.
Actually no I have because I did.
I do remember that.
Oh my God.
It was just it was it was.
Hey you not remember war games.
I don't remember that.
That's ridiculous.
I remember that part.
You know what I'm very upset at you right now.
It's that is an is an epic.
Our childhood is our generation.
It was the perfect movie for Matthew Broderick after Ferris Bueller because he was already
labeled as kind of like a little bit of a nerd.
Are you sure he was after.
I think this was before.
I think he was before.
This was before.
Actually you're right.
Maybe.
How horribly embarrassing.
Was it for you.
Yeah I don't think you know you're Matthew Broderick cinematography.
All right.
Or what.
What I'm looking for.
Film film andography.
No not Ferris oxide.
Ferris is I.S. Ferris Bueller's day off.
It was what.
E.R.R.I.S.
What's the periodic table.
What do you always bring up.
A strontium.
Yeah.
Right there.
There it is.
Strontium.
Not strontium.
You moron.
Strontium.
We're talking about Ferris Bueller.
You son of a bitch.
It's hilarious.
Strontium.
All right go back to Ferris.
Every show has to wrap in strontium.
There you go.
Ferris Bueller's day off.
Now this was a fantastic movie.
Now that Jeff hasn't seen.
Yeah that was three years after War Games.
I've seen Ferris Bueller's.
I didn't care for it.
I just wanted to point that out.
Well you know.
From a chronology.
Ferris Bueller's was the perfect movie to follow up after Wargames.
Because he was already labeled as a nerd right.
He was labeled as a nerd.
Very nice recovery.
Not really.
What is the filmology of Matthew Broderick.
Look at his.
He's got an odd.
He jumped to that to Godzilla.
And was he gay for any part of his life.
No he married that horse face.
From Sex and the City.
Sex and the City girl.
Super mean.
Sarah Jessica Parker.
Horse face.
Yes.
So you think she's like incredibly unattractive.
Totally gross.
The ugliest woman you've ever seen.
Come on.
That's mean.
You've got to be a little bit harsher.
Look at that.
I don't think she's that bad.
If she wasn't rich she would be on a fucking milk carton somewhere.
I don't think she's ugly ugly.
She's not attractive.
Really?
Look at that.
I might agree there.
Find a picture without her makeup.
Scroll down a little bit.
There was one right there.
Okay first off that's a little mean.
Because how many women without makeup we would be like what?
Right there with the plaid jacket on.
Look at that.
She looks like an offspring of Barbara Streisand and Michael Jackson.
You know I hate to say it but just about all middle aged women we would be like what?
Without makeup?
You know without makeup we'd be like what?
I remember seeing her in Square Pegs.
That picture right there in the middle.
That's where I know her from.
I watched Square Pegs.
Wow.
That's when she first got her start.
Hold on was she in Mystic Pizza?
Never saw it.
Mystic Pizza?
What is that?
Sounds like the-
Is that the-
The porn.
Julia Roberts and I don't think she is.
And what?
You guys have never seen that movie?
No.
Julia Roberts?
Well she's not on the lineup.
No she's not.
She's not in that movie.
That's a good movie.
It's got Adam Stork.
Yeah it's got Adam Stork in it.
Thanks for the factoid there.
Oh that's who I was thinking was.
No I would not see this.
Three teenage girls come of age while working in a pizza shop.
It's a hot movie.
When did this come out?
You can only imagine.
So that was pre-Shelley.
So you actually did a girl drag you to this?
No I've seen it post-Shelley.
So she made you watch it?
She did.
I was so angry at her.
And I said now we're going to watch all the Star Wars movies.
All of them.
You made me watch Mystic Pizza.
What was that 80's movie with Scott Baio?
We're watching all 21 Star Wars movies.
Zapped?
Zapped.
What's zapped?
Zapped is a movie with Scott Baio.
With Heather Thomas?
From Fall Guy?
God.
No.
I mean it never ends.
So can we move on?
She had round boobs?
Can you guys let me know when we want to move on to sports because I have some exciting
news.
You don't want to keep talking about like girl films?
Not really.
Like the Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants or anything like that?
Okay I'm listening.
The Sisters of the Traveling Pants?
Is that what she said?
Who's the other actor?
Who's that guy?
He's on another show too.
Oh my God.
Oh who was he on?
That's uh.
Willie Ames.
Was he in the Scott Baio show?
I didn't even know there was a Scott Baio show.
There was.
It was him.
Like a TV show?
He was like a babysitter.
Oh my God is that him?
Charles.
Oh that's Loki.
I just saw Loki.
No.
Yeah I did.
He was in Aida's Enough Wedding?
I guess he was in Aida's Enough.
Dungeons and Dragons TV series.
That is crazy.
I never even connected the dots that he was in Eureka.
Or Dungeons and Dragons.
No that's not the same guy.
I think he's at the top of the list.
No that's not the same guy.
Scroll up.
What are you talking about?
Eurythra?
Willie Ames.
Eureka.
I don't think Willie Ames is in Eureka.
Well you gotta scroll up to the top.
He's not in my Eurythra.
I thought uh well.
No that was an ad I think.
There's Loki.
Yeah scroll up a little bit more.
Right there.
No that's not him.
But okay.
But why is he there?
Why don't we move him on?
Because William Ames is his name right?
The picture on the left is Bill Ames.
Kinda looks like him.
No it's not him.
Yeah you're right.
Isn't that the bomber guy that Obama was friends with?
What?
William Ames.
Obama was friends with some guy that blew up shit when he was younger.
He's a fucking terrorist.
Yeah you're right.
I don't know if it was William Ames.
I thought it was William Ames.
That is really.
You could be right.
I think I am right.
And he's also an actor apparently.
There's Heather Thomas.
Oh wow.
There she is.
Okay we're getting way off track here guys.
Focus focus focus.
I remember the fall guy.
The fall guy.
So go click down on uh.
Is that with the six million dollar man?
Yeah it was with Lee Majors.
Lee Majors.
We can rebuild him.
They're re they're they're making a movie.
They're making a movie.
They're making a six billion dollar man.
Six.
The six billion dollar man.
Yeah a million wouldn't go anywhere today.
Six million like hey we uh we finished his finger.
Now uh what would you like for us to do?
You need to give him a toenail.
I really don't understand the north the north uh.
We're gonna get a grinder with the leftover meat.
We finished his finger.
It's only his left finger too.
Get out of here.
We got a finger.
That's all we got here.
Six million dollars.
What is that?
Six million dollars.
Why do you keep busting out that accent?
Uh it's easy.
It doesn't make any sense though.
Oh most of me doesn't.
Yeah.
That's true.
Yeah so they're making I think Marky Mark is uh.
The fall guy?
Lead majors.
Probably like the six billion dollar man.
Six billion.
Steve Austin.
Great show.
Watch it every week.
Oh really?
Yes.
The fall guy?
No no six million.
I did watch fall guy as well.
Oh I watched six million dollar man.
We can make a movie.
I watched bionic woman too.
Faster.
Yeah I watched that too.
Six million dollar man.
Oh she could hear.
She could hear.
Hers was hearing and I think an arm.
She was strong too.
She had a strong right arm.
Well and that's why I was inspired by that because she could hear.
I am bionic woman.
And it always had that little like.
Little sound.
So I didn't pick up on that at all.
So you emulated bionic woman.
Yeah I did.
Because she could hear real well.
She wanted to emulate bionic woman.
I was inspired.
She could hear.
Oh.
Because remember she couldn't hear and then they made her hear.
She was a pretty girl back in the day.
You hear a mouse fart from across the field having those bionic ears you know.
Yeah well these new hearing aids I do the same thing.
Oh really?
You can hear mouse farts?
Yeah not really.
Can you imagine that little tiny sphincter.
And I'd be like oh what was that?
I wonder if they.
I wonder do mice fart?
I mean dogs do.
Everything farts.
Yeah.
Everything farts.
Have you ever heard a cat fart?
Yes a cat has.
I know my dog farts.
I can promise you I know my dog farts.
For sure.
But do mice fart?
I know my wife farts too.
Mice do have the ability to fart and they also conurb.
An excess build up of the gas causes their farts.
There's a number of reasons for why a mouse could fart.
A mouse could eat while they breathe and have gastrointestinal issues.
The mammals they can fart.
Yeah well.
I want to hear it though.
Or do you think it was.
Oh let's go on YouTube and see if there's sounds.
Mouse fart.
Mouse fart sounds.
Really?
Is this the intellectual like.
I've always wanted to know.
There's weird noises going on in my house all the time.
I'm kind of like well that is a mouse fart.
You know ladies and gentlemen everybody listening if you want really something from this podcast
we're going to bring it to you tonight.
We're going to give you sounds of mice farting.
What kind of animal does mice fart?
God almighty.
No we're not looking up mouth fart sounds.
Hold on there's a video right there it says mouse farts.
I got it.
We got to pop that back on.
What's going on here?
Well we're going to hear some mouse farts.
That is not the video.
That was Paul.
Oh what?
Oh shut up.
No.
That's fake.
That's actually cute.
What a wonderful fart.
They could dub that in and just time it with the looking in.
That's totally stupid.
Come on.
I don't know.
There's no way you can.
No I don't know.
I don't believe it.
I pass.
Oh he's slowing it down.
Does it work?
It's listen.
Oh yeah.
That's.
Here we go.
The turnip.
He ate some of your brisket.
Oh moisture.
And you have a little tie off at the end.
Can we move on?
This is what we've been reduced to.
This is my point.
Thank you Jeff.
This is my point.
We're playing mouse fart on slow mo.
Oh my god.
Back to Bionic Woman.
What the fuck.
After full of recovering from her nearly fatal bout of Bionic rejection, Jamie Summers, the
first female cyborg is assigned to spy missions of Iran.
I'm moving on here.
Did you see the footage speaking of how Bionic Woman almost died?
Did you see the footage the guy has the world record of falling out of a plane without a
parachute and living?
He jumped like 30,000.
On purpose?
Yes.
On 30,000 feet.
Oh he lands in a huge net.
Like in a huge net but it's like almost on the edge.
He hits it but he doesn't have a parachute.
Ever.
The whole time.
He jumps out.
I have seen that.
How do you manage to hit the net?
It was pretty big.
It had to be enormous.
Well, it wasn't that big.
I mean it was big, probably maybe 100 foot in diameter-ish.
So he's doing like the Tom Cruise in the air.
Trying to navigate over to it and you're going what 200 and something miles an hour down.
That is completely stupid.
Guinness Book of World Records for the most people parachuting.
No, no that's not it.
That's not it.
But I just saw it the other day.
Without a parachute.
World record without a parachute.
So that is interesting.
So I did watch that and they jump out and he jumps out with several people.
They pull, you know, because they're ready to help him at the last second because he
doesn't have a parachute on.
How are they going to help him?
Well I mean if he decides, yeah this isn't going to work.
I've changed my mind.
Come get me.
They'll clip on him.
No, when he jumps out there's like several people with him.
And then they pull their cord.
Are you sure you're ready?
Because of the thumbs up and they're like, all right.
But that's crazy.
Look at that.
How dumb.
Ex-paratrooper attempts record jump without a parachute.
That happened in 2016.
I thought it was, well the video, I just saw the video.
Doesn't mean it just happened, but I just saw it.
And what happened?
He hit the net?
Yeah.
He hit it.
He landed it.
Well you said he hit the side of it?
Well he didn't hit the middle.
And he lived.
Yeah, he lived.
Did he get hurt?
I don't think so.
He broke everybody's body?
Yeah, I want to say he, I think, I want to say he broke his leg or something.
He did something.
That's what I saw right there.
Which one?
How terrifying.
Why would anybody want to do that?
Play the one on the left.
Well, God.
Yeah, I mean he's going, I don't know how fast he's going.
How fast you go when you're having...
And they want to watch this.
News law of gravity.
There are people like in the stands.
To watch this.
And imagine if he doesn't make it.
That's how horrible would that be?
He'd be splat.
And you know there's family and everything in there?
No, he does not have a broken leg.
He's all high five and everything.
Oh, that's crazy.
Yep.
Okay, well there you have it.
He can hold that record.
Yeah.
I'm not challenging that one.
I have no interest in challenging that.
So 25,000 feet.
This one goes out to you, Skydiver Luke Akins.
Real man of genius.
Real man.
Yeah.
Mister, follow the sky into a mosquito net, jackass.
Jackass.
So 25,000 feet.
How many miles up is that?
So it's 5,000 some feet.
Hold on.
There's 500 and...
No, there's 5,000 and something.
5,120 feet in a mile.
So four...
Am I right?
3.2 miles.
Am I right?
5,120.
Is that right?
So how many feet was it?
No, it's 5,000.
No, it's 25,000 feet.
So it's 4.7 miles.
No, how many feet in a mile?
Change miles to one.
Yeah, we want to know one mile.
Oh.
So it's 4.7, almost 4.8 miles up.
Paul's wrong.
5280.
He was so wrong.
I said 5280.
You failed.
You were wrong.
No, that's right.
Well, you said 5112.
Whatever you said was wrong.
Well, what do you mean?
So 4.7 miles up in the air.
I'm like, I want to go jump out of a plane without a parachute.
Yeah, how stupid.
Yeah, well...
Yeah, but then you got those guys that put these freaking wings and they dive through,
glide through...
Well, it says he's an ex-paratrooper.
And they die.
How about these guys that go through canyons and shit?
Oh, yeah.
And they die.
They're dead.
Like a bug on a windshield.
Like multiple people have done this and they're dead.
Yeah.
No, I want to go do it.
That guy right there.
Yeah, they...
Well, it's got to be such a thrill.
Yeah, but for what?
And then you die.
And then you're dead.
Well, I mean, let's...
Okay, let's remove the whole I'm landing on a fucking net thing.
And let's go...
Like those guys right there with the little squirrel outfits they got.
They spread their hands.
They look like a flying squirrel.
Yeah, like a flying squirrel.
That is cool.
Can you imagine jumping out of a plane and being able to like...
No, they don't jump off a plane.
They jump off cliffs.
Cliffs.
I'm just saying they can jump off a plane.
Can you imagine jumping off a plane and being able to travel up to like 50 miles before
you hit the ground?
I may totally be exaggerating.
I have no idea.
So your chase car is like chasing you?
Actually, I don't know how far they go, but I mean, they've got a special...
They don't have a parachute, right?
Military services that do that kind of stuff.
They need to get in somewhere and it's like 20 miles over the border.
They just jump them out.
We saw Transformers, right?
Oh yeah.
Transformers?
One of the Transformers, they dropped the flying soldiers into Chicago.
In the squirrel outfits?
In the squirrel outfits, yeah.
Nice.
That's the official term.
They have a whole bunch of different ones you can wear.
We could buy them.
Nice, fancy colors.
Let's buy them and try them.
We could get up on top of the roof and try it.
Let's do it.
Yeah.
What a great idea.
So how far do you have to fall before the wind kind of catches you?
Could you jump off the roof of the house and do anything?
Yes, you can do it 100%.
Using Newton's law theory, you'd have to...
There's an equation for that.
Hold on.
So I'm sure you fall straight down.
So my dad jumped off his roof with an umbrella.
Newton.
He did.
Off his garage, on the roof of his garage with an umbrella.
Inside out?
He got hurt.
It didn't work.
That's what I was going to say.
We were talking about in like 1946.
He was like six or seven or eight.
So he was a little kid.
He was a little kid.
It wasn't like yesterday.
No, my 86 year old father didn't jump off the roof with an umbrella.
But thanks for asking, Jeff.
We had to set the time and the age.
Really?
Yeah, like my dad did.
I jumped off a single story roof with an umbrella.
Yeah, we did cardboard boxes.
We did...
I mean, none of it worked, obviously.
And you're still here to tell the tale.
The question is, how much downforce, how much resistance is required to create uplift?
Two.
Well, I think it's 2.1.
The Wright brothers could tell you that.
So it's...
Because you have to have a plus uplift in order for...
Well, did you ever see the footage of the car that tries to bounce?
Can you stop doing that?
Yeah, that was...
Yes.
Yeah, that was awkward.
That's when they were trying to...
This is why this podcast needs a video camera.
Because that was really awkward.
He had a total stroke going on.
That's when they were trying to figure out how to fly.
So they had this vehicle...
What the fuck just happened to Jeff?
I don't know!
And it had a big umbrella thing on top of it.
He was masturbating an albatross.
He was!
An albatross?
It might have been a silverback.
Alcatoothus.
Screw you guys.
I know what I'm talking about.
Okay.
All right.
Can I move on to sports now?
Okay, sports.
All right.
You want to talk about LeBron James?
No.
You want to talk about NBA?
Because I am so sick of his ass.
No, no, no, no.
Don't, please, don't bring up that name again.
No, I'm excited.
In football.
LeBron James.
Well, hold on.
Did LeBron James win his game?
No, he lost.
No, he got beat 42.
Did he walk off the court?
Yes.
He left in...
It might have been.
Five minutes left in...
No, I think it was game five.
How far back were they?
I don't know.
Five minutes left.
Supposedly.
He leaves the bench.
If he would have won, then the buzz was he was supposed to be like one of the all-time
best basketball players out there.
It brings me great joy.
He sucks ass.
He's sunk quite a bit here recently.
He's a loser.
Anyway.
Nobody likes racists.
Yeah.
It's just, you know, sorry.
He has won.
Yeah, I hear you.
Anyway, I am a Tennessee Titans fan and they landed...
Julia Jones.
Julia, really?
Did I say Julio?
Is that better?
Julio.
Yeah, a little bit better than Julio.
Julio.
Julio Jones, dude, I'm telling you.
Big pickup.
Huge.
Who do they have to give up?
Derrick Henry?
No.
The only problem that they did announce is that...
It's a trade.
A trade.
They gave up no first round picks.
He hurt his big right toe.
Who?
And you remember the last person that hurt their big right toe?
Who did?
Marion Barber.
Oh, yeah.
And Marion Barber went from being a fucking horse.
Work horse.
Derrick Henry?
I said Marion Barber went from being a work horse until he hurt his big right toe.
Who hurt their toe?
Julio Jones.
No.
Yeah.
Nah, we're good.
We're good.
Look at you rooting against the Titans for no reason.
You're not even a football fan.
I'm not watching professional sports anymore.
I'm still in on the Titans and they picked up Julio Jones and it was huge and we didn't
have to give up much for it.
It's going to be awesome.
He's good.
I know.
You guys, you're off on the Bengals and you're off on the Cowboys.
Hey, I'm a homer.
Yeah.
You know what?
Maybe I shouldn't have brought up the NFL because you guys couldn't care less.
No, I could care less.
We could talk about college.
But you know what?
And you guys are playing fantasy football.
How does that work?
We don't want to play fantasy football.
Yeah.
Well, are you going to be cut out?
We tolerate it.
Are you going to do it again next year?
Probably.
Of course you are.
You don't want to leave that club.
It's a great club.
It is a great club.
Exactly.
So get on board.
You have every reason to get on board with the Bengals.
They're on the upswing.
They could be.
You got Burrow.
Am I saying that right?
Is Bakersfield still there?
Joe Burrow.
Or Columbus.
Or I'm sorry Cleveland.
Cleveland.
And you've got some weapons, although you still have the jackass that runs the team.
Well, tell you what, the Bengals have a jackass.
No.
The guy that runs the team that wants to run everything.
Jara.
Oh, Jones?
Yeah.
Oh, who cares.
But the Bengals have Mike.
I don't think you're ever going to be good until he steps out to be on the team.
Mike Brown is worse.
If you can imagine it.
Mac?
Who's Mike Brown?
He's the owner of the Bengals.
Oh, the Bengals.
You know, Paul Brown was one of the original guys in the NFL.
Right.
He was the Cleveland Browns.
And that's his son?
And yes.
And then he started the team in Cincinnati.
Right.
He moved from Cleveland and moved down to Cincinnati and started the Bengals.
When Paul Brown died, Mike Brown took over.
Right.
Well, you know, so Bud Adams' daughter is running.
Michael Brown was the Tennessee Tigers was killed by Ferguson.
No, not Mike Brown's like Brown.
Oh, different guy.
Excuse me.
Oh, man.
During the break, man.
What is that shrimp?
Yeah, I don't like them.
Shrimp chips.
Yeah.
From Costco.
Don't buy them.
They're weird.
Well, I won't buy them, but they're not bad.
I won't get them again.
They're not what I thought they were.
I didn't look close enough when I bought them.
So Mike Brown, born in 35, president of the Cincinnati Bengals.
Yeah, he's a worthless owner.
Well, I mean, so hold on.
Are you guys?
All right.
So I think we all agree the NBA made a massive mistake with their Black Lives Matter movement.
So putting the names on the jerseys and being all political.
There's so much more.
I know.
So the NBA, I'm done with.
But the fact that China owns the NBA.
Yes.
So I think we all agree NBA no go.
Correct.
OK.
And I'm out.
I'm out 100 percent, which is shocking if you knew my history.
All right.
Out.
So MLB moved their game from Atlanta, the All-Star game because of.
They're getting sued right now.
They're being sued.
I want to bring that up.
Local businesses.
I think that's great because 100 million dollars is being lost by local businesses.
The majority minority owned.
Go figure.
Who are you punishing here?
OK.
Yeah.
Whatever.
Those folks that those folks won't get compensated.
It's a fruitless endeavor.
But we'll see.
We'll see.
There was a contract.
You break the contract.
Well, you pay up.
Did they have a contract?
No, not with the city, not with all of the business.
Well, but with the cities, with the city.
And you break that contract with the city and they and they and they lose out.
Dude, I hope they have a leg to stand on.
What would what would that be like if they had to?
Move it back.
Hold on to Atlanta.
What if the city they got less than a month to do it?
Oh, that'd be awesome.
What if the city says, well, you know what?
The Major League Baseball is not at fault because we agreed.
Yeah, well, the governor and they say the city's name.
What is the senator?
I don't think it's the governor.
I don't believe.
What if the city agreed to it, though?
Like, yeah, we're not doing that because, you know, we're changing the voting laws,
therefore we're not going to have it.
I don't know.
It's Major League Baseball.
Wasn't Georgia.
It's Atlanta.
Yeah.
All right.
So so you guys aren't big MLB fans anyway.
Oh, really?
So I used to be.
So I don't think you really care.
I used to be up to about 90 91.
And then the Cincinnati Reds have so bad since then.
After Ryan, it's hard to follow, especially down here.
It's hard to follow.
Oh, yeah, I understand.
Paul Ryan.
No, no, Ryan, Leaf, Nolan, Ryan, Nolan, Ryan.
Good Lord.
And leave leave me leave, Gary.
What the hell?
Grooving.
What's wrong with you guys?
He paralyzed some guy.
You struggled with Nolan Ryan?
No, I did.
I'll tell you what, obviously one of the best parts of Nolan Ryan is when that one.
He does.
He has batter came running at him and he frickin just uppercuts.
That was crazy, right?
Pop pop pop.
He did like 15.
And he was like 100 years old.
Yeah, he was in his well, he was younger than we were.
That dude has got to be embarrassed.
He was like who was a Baptiste or something like that?
No, who was the guy that charged Nolan Ryan?
So look up, look up, Ryan, look up charged Nolan Ryan.
That's it.
Just add charged in front of that.
And I guarantee you, we're going to get it immediately.
So Robin, there we go.
Ventura, 46 year old Nolan Ryan, a 46 year old.
Oh, great.
That's it right there.
Comes after him.
Yeah, he was a ranger at the time.
Yeah, that's right.
That's it right there.
Plus, it was a white guy.
Yeah.
Here we go.
What's with a headlock?
You've got 46 year old Hall of Famer Nolan Ryan looks straight out of a sitcom actor
that bam right in the arm right at him.
There he comes.
The young gun takes his hat off, takes someone off and then he has no plan.
He just kind of I don't know what his plan was.
And Nolan Ryan, he was beat the shit out of him.
OK, sure thing.
Dude, put some really good punch is actually both one punch.
Get out of here, Pudge.
No one doesn't need any help.
Bam.
That one kind of skids off his head.
How embarrassing.
You almost you don't mess up.
You almost have to pay, pay Nolan Ryan money to make that better than it was.
So he gets there.
Now this one's a good one.
Oh, I hit him right in the face.
Fighter flight, man.
Yeah, that's good stuff.
And then he's rescued.
Yeah, no one runs on the ground.
Yeah, but that was dude, it was epic.
A hundred percent epic.
I love it.
Forty six years old.
Oh my God.
You know what?
I never really the shit out of the guy.
I never really saw the entire thing like that.
I just I've always seen the clip where he's just punching him.
This greatness, man.
It really is.
I'm going to buy more of his sausage.
Well, you know, like the Nolan Ryan meat.
Yeah.
Does he sell sausage?
I don't know.
Evidently, he sells steaks.
You're the authority on sir.
What are you implying there?
I don't know.
I just want Nolan Ryan sausage.
I didn't say that.
That's gonna be a drag.
Jackass.
It sounded like that.
It's gonna be a sound bite.
Sean saying that.
Wonderful.
All right.
Moving on.
All right.
So we already said we're out on the NBA.
We're out on Major League Baseball.
I'm not out on on NFL.
I'm not 100 percent out.
OK, I would like you guys to get back into it because I think they learn their lesson
from other other sports leagues.
But I will tell you, if they haven't, I'm going to bail.
I'm telling you, I'm going to bail.
But let's talk about hockey.
I like to get into hockey.
Here's the thing.
I find hockey.
So I hold on.
I find hockey so exciting to watch, especially in the playoffs, like Dawson is into it.
Yeah, Dawson.
I love so much fun.
It doesn't matter what the team is.
It's like it's insane.
You can merely get sucked into the game.
Right.
And we watched a lot of playoff hockey.
And it was here's what's cool about it.
How often have you like your son says, hey, man, can we can we put on this like a sports,
whatever it is, whatever league.
And you're like, yeah, sure.
And then you like the other son joins and my and my and your wife sits down and everybody's
into it.
How often does that happen?
Well, have you ever gone to a stars game?
Yeah, I have.
I've been to a couple.
I like it's better live than watching on TV.
So I'm good either way.
When they first came to Dallas, I the Dallas stars practice rank was really close to where
I used to work.
I used to work in a spirit place.
I thought it was Dr. Pepper Center.
No, no, no.
In Frisco, it was at one point.
Absolutely.
It is now, but it's not.
It wasn't back then.
Back then it was located right next door to the the football practice areas in Valley
Ranch Valley Ranch.
OK, so they used to they used to frequent where I worked at all the time.
Well, like the hitters like Humperdix Humperdix.
What do you want to say the name of it?
But yeah, OK, that's right.
But you know, you're talking like, oh, my God, Mike.
Yeah, we got Mike.
Dono was Mike Madonna.
I create Lugwig the hole.
Brett hole was later on.
But yeah, Brett hole was actually from St. Louis.
Blurrion Hatcher, Darren Hatcher, the thug, the enforcer.
Yeah, he's big, big, big.
I remember Mike Dono is a big dude.
He was the stars were some bad ass guys.
They were and they they used to frequent that where I worked at.
Yeah.
And I used to and because I was up there in the in the DJ booth, I used to get tickets
all the time.
Oh, shit.
All the time.
I went to so many games and they never called me.
Well, I didn't know you back then.
I know they used to they used to get to me.
They said, well, make sure you invite that.
You know, they give me a list of the cocktail waitresses to take with me.
No.
They want me to invite you, you and you.
It's up to you.
You can go with me or not.
Oh, what power you had right there.
Right.
And you're like, you know what?
The stars are asking for you.
What do you want to do?
Stars at night are big and bright.
Anyways, it was a lot of fun.
And all those players back then, I saw the one that it went into like five overtimes
and then at the very it was the San Jose Sharks.
In fact, they have like the Guinness Book.
It's a record.
I don't know what's Guinness Book, but it's a record of the longest over times that they
had and the most fights that they have had in a NHL game.
Oh, yeah.
The San Jose Sharks and the Dallas Stars.
Yeah, I would absolutely be being you play five over times.
I guarantee you're sick of whoever you're playing against.
But where's the the new hockey rink?
They didn't have the shootout.
The new hockey rink.
Where's the where the Dallas Stars play?
The American Airlines.
Yeah, I'm assuming.
That's where I've seen them at.
You probably saw them at reunion.
I don't even remember.
I've seen them at AAC.
Did they make the playoffs and get bounced or did they not make the playoffs?
I don't think they made the playoffs this year.
Oh, this year?
I don't know.
I don't know either.
I haven't watched the stars.
It was really fun to watch playoff hockey, man.
Maybe we start maybe we have a hockey fancy league.
And it's not over, by the way.
They're still going.
Right?
I don't know.
It's not over, by the way, they're still going.
Right.
I don't think it's over.
Let's do a hockey fantasy league.
There was a time.
That would be fun.
There was a time where I know the Stanley Cup was like all around Dallas.
Except the ball is kind of flat.
The ball.
Yeah.
There's the puck.
Yeah, the ball.
No, he's right.
The ball that they hit on the ice.
It's got a flat side.
Yeah, it's it's well, one side's flat.
Yeah.
Are they both just one side?
Right.
Well, Paul, did you use to go to a dome?
I played instructional hockey.
It was the highlight of new sports for me.
Yeah, it was so much fun.
Yeah.
It took you hurt.
I didn't get hurt from hockey tickets.
Well, I mean, it's you get hurt.
Most my friends that this was an instructional league, which means there was no actually
no contact, no checking, nothing like that.
And we only had one fight, which was pathetic.
But it was fun.
Which was you and the 12 year old on the other team.
He was 11 and I knocked him down.
His dad was like, he came out on the ice and I was like, fuck you up.
And he was like, put your blade on his throat.
I did.
Yeah.
And he's still in the hospital.
Yeah.
It's amazing how sharp those blades are on the ice skates.
Actually, our best player in a D league game, we were instructional.
And then the next league is D and then CBA.
Right.
Anyway, he got a really serious cut.
He was on the on the ice and something happened.
Somebody went over him and he had a really serious cut from a blade.
I don't I don't remember where it was, but it was like significant where he had like
stitches and stuff.
So you seen the footage where the guy's throat got sliced?
Oh, shit, man.
That's not that's that's for real, man.
No, it did.
There was I think it was NHL.
Was it?
Yeah.
Guy.
Like a freak thing.
Yeah, it was a freak thing.
A skate one across his throat and it's a really harsh whiskey.
Yeah.
That that last swig I had was.
Oh, you don't like Uncle Nearest anymore.
No, no, I'm not saying that.
I took a big swig right now.
It's kind of fun when you did it just.
Yeah, it's come.
It's a hunter proof, but it's a hot hunter proof for some reason.
Yeah.
I'm feeling this more than I felt.
No, that's impossible.
Did you bring up rebel yellow as well?
No, it's been here.
It's been where it's not been sitting there.
It's been here the whole time, literally the whole time.
And you're not very observant at all.
Anyway, moving on.
OK, sounds like we can finish that.
We could.
Well, did your boys like finish one off the other night?
I don't know how many people were on it, but a full tankard was gone.
Well, you had like some sort of sorority gathering at four o'clock in the morning.
Apparently five or four.
Yeah, it was four.
I went to bed at four.
It was not a good.
It was no bueno.
No bueno.
Did you get up the next day for church?
It was fun up until four.
That was a Friday night.
Saturday.
Saturday, I slept in till probably almost eleven.
Four to eleven.
Yeah, four to eleven.
That's not bad.
No.
And I was just tired because I honestly didn't have that much to drink.
I mean, you know, that's what we always say.
But I was playing.
I was playing around the world.
I was playing around the world basketball with my middle son and we were I was streaming
music into my hearing aids.
He was streaming music into his earphones and we were telling each other what songs
that we had to listen to.
And so I didn't hear anything that was going on anywhere else.
And I was acting completely oblivious.
Right.
I didn't want to know.
I didn't want to care.
I was having fun with my son playing basketball.
Well, it turns out that there were girls.
My oldest son had girls over and they were in the pool at four a.m. and they were splashing,
splashing and yelling and carrying on.
And and and so, yeah, we all got in trouble by the police or by the wife.
Yeah, she was hot.
She was pissed.
She was pissed for our neighbors.
And I don't blame her.
Yeah, dude, I was out of it.
You know, I was just sober.
I wasn't paying attention.
I well, I wasn't sober.
No, I wasn't sober, but I definitely wasn't shit faced.
So back to this hockey thing.
Are the playoffs about to happen?
They're going on.
They are deep, deep in the playoffs.
If not, maybe the stars out.
I don't think ever made it.
OK, well, yeah.
Once you look that up, look up hockey hockey scores.
I would love to know who's still in it because I would like to watch a couple more games.
You know, I used to be a huge fan before the Stars game.
I used to be a huge fan of the New York.
Here we go.
Today's final was I'm sorry.
I didn't mean to cut you off there.
Lightning, lightning against the Hurricanes.
We're in game five.
Oh, it's over.
Lightning won four to one.
So is it over?
Over Golden Knights?
Where are they from?
That Syracuse?
That would be Vegas.
Oh, that's close.
OK, so we're in the finals.
No, not the finals.
The semifinals.
Have you ever heard the trivia question of name the sports teams that don't end in the
letter S?
No.
All right.
Hold on.
What's going on?
I've never heard that.
Can you can you scroll up a little bit because I can't.
Well, I see and a period to Tampa Bay Lightning.
There's a game going on right now.
That's one Tampa Bay Lightning is one.
Can you name sports teams that don't have Washington football?
Team two to two.
All right.
Well, there's two.
Yeah.
The White Sox, Red Sox.
All right.
You know.
Oh, no.
So OK, so it's not the same.
There's not four teams left.
There are eight teams left.
It's quarterfinal.
There you go.
The Avalanche is the one other one.
Or did I say that?
Colorado Avalanche, Tampa Bay Lightning.
Where the Jets from?
Is that New York?
That's a football game.
But where the Jets?
That's a good question.
Where the I've never heard of a hockey team called the Jets.
The Winnipeg Jets.
There you go.
Winnipeg Winnipeg.
Yeah.
We're not always the Jets, were they?
I don't know.
They've always been the Jets.
Are you sure?
Yeah.
It was like the Winnipeg shotguns.
They're like, oh, we can't have that anymore.
We have to make it the Jets.
Winnipeg.
The Winnipeg AR 15.
Yeah.
Are you sure?
I've never heard of that, but I've not been a hockey fan.
Yeah, I'm not a huge hockey fan.
So what other?
What about Miami Heat?
Doesn't end in an S.
You're still on this.
The Chicago Bull?
Tennessee Titans.
Wow.
Nice.
Right.
Nice.
Well, cheek lifter.
Yeah, cheek lift.
Thank you.
So, Mr. Producer, we have teams that don't end in the letter S.
Hold on.
What sport are we going with?
Miami, at this point, right?
Yeah, it's actually all of them.
I think there's like seven.
It's supposed to be like, you know.
OK, let's start with basketball.
So the Heat.
Miami Heat.
We're going to go with.
Thunder.
What's Toronto's team?
The Raptors.
Isn't that the Oklahoma Thunder?
That's it.
That's good.
OK, see Thunder.
Oh, nice.
The Thunder.
Jets.
The Jets.
The Thunder.
Jazz.
The Jazz.
There you go.
Nailed it.
Right.
Thank you.
It's good.
Thank you.
Oakland Raider.
You suck at this game.
They're not going to tell us.
Sorry.
The producers look right there.
The Magic, the Jazz, Orlando Magic.
I'll be giving all of them right there.
This is avalachia.
Minnesota Wild.
I haven't even heard of those.
OK, well, they were in the playoffs, by the way.
Minnesota Wild.
I saw that empty void after the Dallas Stars left.
Yes, correct.
Interesting.
Yeah.
So we named them all.
We were good.
Oh.
Outside of the wild.
Hold on.
Pump the pranks.
What's going on over there?
I think I might have some hiccups.
Oh, no.
Well, you had a little vacuum going on again.
Mom?
Yeah?
You sucked in your net.
I did a reverse burp.
He's got this.
There's some, you got a black hole in there, buddy.
Listen, I did a reverse burp, and I think it might have spasmed my diaphragm.
I told you, there it is.
My spasm, my diaphragm, which is what a hiccup is, a spasm of your diaphragm.
Did you know that?
Yes, I did.
And you have to get it back in sync with your body.
Yes, you do.
And the only way to apparently do that is to have Sean scare the shit out of you.
No.
You did it before.
And it worked.
I won't show you.
What you're supposed to do is hold your breath and flex your stomach.
Does that work?
So that's what I'm going to try for the next two minutes.
My wife says stick your tongue out and say the word fish.
You know, what works?
Stick your tongue out and say the word fish.
Oh, God.
Everybody knows.
You're supposed to lather your balls with peanut butter and let the dog lick it and
it gets rid of all the hiccups.
How many times do I do this?
I don't know.
Fifth.
Just one time.
Fifth.
You're not supposed to open your mouth like that.
You're supposed to open your mouth like Joker.
Why not?
He said stick your tongue out.
Yeah.
Well, you know, that.
Good job.
Why is that so funny to you?
I don't understand.
I don't know.
I'll be damned.
I don't have the hiccups anymore, brother.
They're gone.
I'm doing that from now on.
I'm going to be in a meeting at work.
What is that?
I'm going to be in a meeting at work.
I'm going to be like, what is that ass mouth movie?
The Caterpillar, the human caterpillar.
The human centipede.
That's the noise they made when they were hooked together.
Oh, I never.
I had never.
I had never heard that.
Stick your tongue out and say the word fish.
Guys, our audience, you're learning like critical, critical life skills here.
It is life skills.
Oh, my God.
That's fantastic.
It works.
Jeff was able to pound his down, his drink that is.
We're asking for a Montucky.
Is that what we're doing here?
Montucky.
Where eight percent goes back to local charities.
Yeah.
And only four percent goes into your body.
But they put it on the can to make you think it's an eight percent beer.
I know.
They're not trying to be misleading.
I don't think so.
I mean, how many people can believe that a light lager is eight percent?
Sean.
I did.
I was like, look at this.
I did, too.
When I first bought it.
You idiot.
What?
What's wrong with you?
It all started when I was five.
I thought you were an I.P.A. expert with that.
Oh, that's a good.
I'll tell you what.
We used to indulge in a lot of I.P.A.
And I wasn't an expert, but God bless it.
My checkbook would would argue otherwise.
I'm not a big I.P.A. fan.
I remember going to Dragon's Fire.
That is not an I.P.A.
Dragon's Milk.
It's an Imperial style.
It's a stout.
But I remember going to I can't remember what I can't remember what bar it was.
But you ordered an I.P.A. and it smelled like cat urine.
Oh, and you're like, this is terrible.
It's cat urine.
It's smell.
It does.
It smelled like cat urine.
We would.
We buy like a flight and it would come with like four small Glencairn glasses, basically.
And you picked it.
And I swear to God, it smelled like cat urine.
It's disgusting.
And then we went back like three or four months later and he kept buying it.
He ordered it again.
He's like, this is the one that smells like cat piss.
Oh, you forgot.
Well, you can't remember them all.
There's so many.
Yeah, there are.
There are.
It tasted bad, too.
That's true.
But why?
How could they stay in business if their if their beer tastes like cat urine?
Well, it smelled like cat urine.
It did not taste good.
Some people have a have acquired taste for it.
Right.
Well, I guess you have to have it that way.
Otherwise, it makes no sense.
Speaking of cat urine, I tell you, man, I am I am so sick of my cat peeing.
You know, the cat probably does ninety nine percent of its peas in where it's supposed
to go.
But it's just like that that once a month that it stinks so bad once every two weeks
where it's just kind of like it goes where?
Well, sometimes it'll piss on my on the bed.
Oh, like right in the middle of the sheets.
Not cool.
You leave a towel after you shower on the floor, not to be confused with like a shower
mat because you have a shower mat.
She won't pee on that.
But if you leave your towel, you know, wipe yourself off, throw the towel, she'll pee
on that.
Actually, that's better than on the floor.
Well, it's tile.
So it doesn't fucking matter.
But my point is, if you want to pee on something on a towel, yeah, but you got to you got to
discard the towel.
I mean, it's just you know, it doesn't matter.
I just don't want it to pee on the floor.
Get rid of the cat.
Amen, brother.
How old is the cat?
I fucking hate cats.
I hate them.
I don't want to.
I don't hate the cat.
I hate them because I'm allergic to them.
So I hate cats.
I used to have a cat.
It belongs to my daughter.
She moved out and left the cat.
You take it to her.
No.
You take it to her.
You say here.
Why did she take the cat with her?
Because it pees on towels.
No, no, I'm sorry.
Well, first off, no cat's ever going to be in any house that I ever live in because I'm
allergic to cats.
Well, that's so that makes it easy.
That makes it really easy.
But dude, if any of my and many of my children buy some sort of animal, I don't care what
it is, an iguana, a snake, a dog, this or that, and they leave it with me.
Hell no.
You bought the damn thing.
You're taking it with you.
I'm not I'm not dealing with.
Well, she didn't buy the cat was actually a gift.
Well, you know what?
Then you gift it to somebody else.
Well, that's what I was considering.
You know, in fact, I had put an ad on Facebook offering, you know, I had a fantastic picture
of the cat and we can't go wrong.
Peace wherever people want to want to the cat.
But you know, it got shut down because my daughter.
Well, you know, it's her cat.
And look, I'm stuck in a bad position, but I can't tell you, I can't stand that fucking
cat.
It makes the entire upper the second floor of my house.
Yeah, stink.
It smells like frickin cat pee.
How old is it now?
Done.
Four or five years old.
At least.
My cat lived 19 years.
Good Lord.
What a nightmare.
I'll euthanize it.
Tell your daughter she got six months to find a new home for this cat.
Give her a timeline or or it's going to last three months.
Give her three months to find a new a new house for it or you're putting it upward.
You taking it to the what do you call it?
The more SPC.
The pet morgue.
No, the SPCA.
Exactly.
Now do it.
I mean, I mean, I have no.
I have no idea where it's at.
Actually, what I would do is I would box everything up and take it to her and say, here you go.
Yeah, no, I mean, I'm not going to.
I'm OK with an ultimatum, right?
Three months.
You have three months to take care of this.
It can't stay here.
Yeah, look, I get it.
I get it.
You should, man.
But there's a lot of moving parts.
You know, I got my other daughter that likes the cat in the house.
You know, people I mean, we'll get rid of her too.
Do you like the cat?
Oh, no, he does not like the cat.
That's actually.
So there you go.
Yeah, no bueno.
So what about your wife?
Who wins?
What does your wife feel about the cat?
My wife wins.
Well, as it pees on her bed.
How does she feel about the cat?
She likes it.
Well, the pisses are off, but it's my daughter's and my wife is.
Well, you're not getting rid of it.
You're giving it to her.
That's right.
My wife doesn't live there anymore.
Or you're accidentally knifing it.
Is a martyr when it comes to the kids.
No, I understand.
She'll fall on a sword a thousand times.
I know that she wants the best for them and all their feelings and all that kind of stuff.
All right.
But there's a point where you get a little bit of tough love.
Yeah.
You know, I told you three months.
Give her three months or I get rid of it for you.
Or I bring it to your house and it's yours.
Yeah.
I say you do it, man.
All right.
I'd be 100% in on that plan.
Dropping in a.
So September three phase.
We want an update in your in your one horsepower disposal.
No, I wouldn't do that.
I know you wouldn't.
I'd put in a subject.
There's some sick people that do that kind of shit.
There is.
Yeah, there's some bad people out there that bullshit with that.
I don't understand.
I wouldn't do that.
I don't understand either.
And I'm so sweet with the cat all the time, you know, but even though I'm sweet with the
cat, you know, if I'm cross with it, I mean, I was cross with the cat like one time I went
up and laid on the bed and the cat was there and I was like, you get down.
She got up there peed on the fucking bed in front of me.
Good for her.
She took a shit.
She took a shit on you.
Oh, she just peed.
Actually, my dog did that.
I told you that.
Yeah.
It shit on you.
No, didn't shit on me.
She peed.
I told you this story.
So you lost.
Yeah, I was hanging out with my neighbor.
We're having a beer and she was glaring at me the whole time.
I shit you not.
You glaring at me the whole time and I'm laughing about it.
I'm like, don't glare at me.
Anyway, he leaves and that's when I needed to come.
I think I was coming over here to do something and I left and she got down.
My wife is laying on the sofa.
She gets down off the sofa, squats in front of my wife, in front of the TV, pees and jumps
back on the sofa.
My wife was like, what did you just do?
My dog was like, you know what?
My dog was like, you're going to do that shit?
Okay.
Pets get hold of grudge.
Oh my God.
She's a vindictive little bitch.
Pets get hold of grudge.
She would put, like cats, they could survive on their own over a long weekend by themselves.
You give them plenty of food and plenty of water, they're fine.
Sure.
In a clean litter box.
Yeah.
But whenever we did that, we'd be gone for a couple of days.
They'd come back and he would be, he'd give some serious attitude.
Yeah.
Serious attitude.
That is absolutely a true thing.
She would be vindictive, man.
Yeah.
And she would be honorary and she'd get into the trash and she'd tear up stuff and she'd
be like, all like pissy about it.
You think we're going to pay attention.
Oh yeah.
Leave again.
Watch what happens.
She's getting better with that there.
Oh, she's getting much better.
Much much better.
She's learned her place now.
She knows that when we leave, if she watches us leave in the car, it's important.
It's very important that she sees us leave in the car because if we walk out the back
gate, like our church is right behind our house.
So we walk out the back gate.
Well, we have to close the doggy door because she starts to maul the fence.
Right.
She's digging at it knowing that we're on the other side of the gate and she's got left
behind.
You need to kennel, kennel.
No, I just, I just shut the doggy door and she doesn't do anything.
She gets, she jumps up on the sofa and she pouts.
She doesn't tear up anything.
She urinates.
Oh, she, yeah, she urinates.
Yeah.
No, she doesn't.
Anyway.
Well, speaking of dogs and bitches, speaking of bitches, you know that Yale, they got the
lecture, the psychiatrist who went out and was on the internet saying she wanted to shoot
white people.
It was a zoom call.
She was given a presentation to Yale medical students.
Wow.
Like an audience.
Yale medical students.
Like an auditorium of people.
It was a zoom call.
So, Dr. Aruna Kalani.
What were the, what were the exact?
A forensic psychiatrist and psychoanalyst with a private practice in New York and not
affiliated with Yale.
Was invited to do a lecture on April 6th as part of the School of Medicine's ground rounds,
grand rounds, according to the New York Times.
So a flyer for the online talk titled The Psychopathic Problem of the White Mind described
its learning objectives as understanding how white people are psychologically dependent
on black rage.
Oh.
We're psychologically dependent on black rage.
At one point in the lecture, Kalani described how she fantasized, has fantasies of unloading
a revolver into the head of any white person that got in my way, burying their body and
wiping my bloody hands as I walked away relatively guiltless with a bounce in my step.
Like I did the world a fucking favor.
And my comments were misconstrued is what she just said.
How do you misconstrued that?
Can you, can you, those were the exact quote of what she said?
Kalani said, I want you to say that one more time.
One more time.
Which, well, she said, unload a revolver.
At one point in the lecture, Kalani described how she has fantasies of, quote, unloading
a revolver into the head of a white person that got in my way, burying their bodies and
wiping my bloody hands as I walked away relatively guiltless with a bounce in my step.
And I did the world a fucking favor.
Kalani said, talking to white people about the subject of race is a waste of our breath.
Adding, we are asked, we're asking a demented violent predator who thinks that they are
a saint or a superhero to accept responsibility and ain't going to happen.
Okay.
Well, no, I can see now how her comments could have been misconstrued.
I don't.
Are you kidding me?
Fuck no.
She should, she should, I mean, you talk about.
There's calls for her to be disbarred.
Everything.
Well, in an email on Saturday, everything should be thrown at her right now.
Her words were taken out of context to control the narrative, explaining the lecture.
Really?
Used to provocate as a tool for real engagement.
I was, my speaking metaphorically about my own anger was a method for people to reflect
on negative feelings, to normalize negative feelings.
Because if you don't, it will turn into a violent action.
Yeah.
Like what you just said.
Yeah.
I'd learn the revolver in some white person's head.
That is skipping away.
That's such crap.
Everything, everything should be thrown at her from a cancel culture perspective and
losing her job and all the shit that happens to people that say like things that are way
less inflammatory than that.
And look at her.
She's got a she's got the fucking horse face.
Yeah, whatever.
So nice lips, though.
I wonder.
Really?
I wonder what's going to happen to her.
Nothing.
Absolutely nothing.
I think I think the medical community should go.
Yeah, you don't need to be.
Well, it should be.
I don't know what the therapist is.
You don't need to be a therapist to anyone.
Hell no.
The thing about it is that her position and quote me if I'm wrong, but her position, you
had to take her class to be able to step up into this particular job.
Probably.
No, not probably.
It was.
Let me see here.
So it was a requirement to hear her lecture.
Yes.
So did she teach or was it just a lecture guest lecture spot?
So several faculty members expressed concern at Kalani's remarks in the lecture after consulting
with the chairwoman of the Child Study Center and reviewing the recording.
They deemed the tone in content antithetical to the values of the school.
The recording can now be accessed.
OK, Nicholas, I'm trying to find out what what class she taught, because there was something
that she was in control.
I don't think she I don't think she taught a class.
Well, there was something that she lectured that you had to take in order to get something
and the kind of like one of the last and she had like a monopoly on it, whatever it was.
Well, it sounds like they're coming down hard on her.
And I appreciate that, because can you imagine any white professor saying something like
that about any non white person?
Any race.
Unbelievable.
You pick it.
Yeah.
That would be unbelievable.
Yeah.
What?
What about the poem?
Wow, we've got a we got many.
We got a young man who is the son of Mr. Jeff.
All right.
Well, I'm I'm going to want to probably do an additional.
So you're not going to do Uncle nearest?
I'm glad I got to experience.
Oh, great.
So that's going to end up on the shelf of shame.
No.
Why is everything I buy end up on the shelf of shame?
I think I think it's a racist conspiracy.
I think that your prior choices were horseshit.
Really?
But this one really, this one's not bad.
Really?
No, I like this one.
Yeah.
Yeah, I actually do.
If I got another drink, would it make you feel better?
This one was only seven ninety nine.
Oh, well, I'm going to get some rebel yell.
Yeah, let's pause.
So they have a so the rebel yell, which is crazy.
I may have mentioned this before, but it was called rebel rebel.
And now it's called rebel because they took off the fucking yell
because with the rebel yell, she got more.
They took up yell on the bottle.
Well, you have the oh, it's on the bottle.
It's on the bottle.
You know why? Because they made those a long time ago.
But the label, they can change right away.
Yeah.
No shit.
So the bottles are going to stop showing rebel yell.
They may.
I think they will.
Look at that.
There's about there it is.
It did say rebel yell.
Really?
So they thought by taking off the word yell, it would disassociate
itself from civil war.
Well, I mean, I don't really know all the rebel would would be OK.
Jeff rebel yell.
Jeff would be a good person to ask about that because there could be
rebel yell was absolutely a civil war thing for the Confederate Army.
Yeah.
I mean, you could have Billy Idol kind of saying, hey, man, that's my name,
my song.
You know, I was like, well, so rebel SC Gwynn, the stone was Stonewall Jackson.
Stonewall Jackson is an interesting story.
Yes.
Oh, shit.
I just poured a fucking drink.
Yeah.
I'm not.
No, no, no.
Don't you dare.
Where did you get that?
Don't you dare pour that back into the bottle.
I got it.
Our sixty eight bourbons out there.
I will hurt you if you pour that back into the bottle.
It looks kind of scary.
I don't remember it.
Does it have coconut?
It's called wildcatter.
I've never seen it before in my life.
Aged eight years.
Is this old Williamsburg coconut?
No, it's not.
Wildcatter's coconut bourbon.
I've never seen this before.
We've had it.
Well, I think it was on the podcast.
You guys didn't invite me to.
You've been in every single one of the podcasts.
Every single one.
Really?
I don't remember it.
So that's why I grabbed it.
Oh, I don't remember.
That's why I grabbed it.
There's a lot left.
So I don't know if we didn't like it.
We're just like, yeah, or what?
But Sean, I'll let you know how it is.
You've already poured a gallon of rebel yell.
What do you call that?
A Gling Clarence?
I poured it to the jugular.
Oh, very nice.
What's the proof on this?
This rebel yell.
It's only 90, but man, what a wonderful smell.
Very we got a lot of hints of vanilla and the smell of a microphone.
What the rebel yell?
Oh, that is very different.
What is that?
It's called anus.
Stonewall Jackson.
I smell anus.
Beaver gland.
I smell anus and I taste anus.
Beaver anus with the beaver gland, the vanilla gland.
So do you think we're going to have a Wikipedia page when we die like Stonewall Jackson?
No, not unless you do something stupid.
Or great.
Mostly stupid.
I'm sorry.
Are you projecting into the future on whether or not we're going to have a Wikipedia page?
The dudes like us.
Jeff, Sean, and Paul.
You never know.
Started in 2019.
Talked a lot of racism.
Never went anywhere.
The entire, yeah.
We've been doing this for a year and we have, you know, three listeners.
Got no sponsors.
Has it been a year?
Yeah, got no sponsors.
Yeah, we started last May.
Got no listeners and got drunk every night.
That's all right.
I enjoy this, so screw them.
Fuck it.
It's our hobby.
That's right.
And they can shove it up their anus.
We just need to do some different things to market it and get it out there.
We haven't done shit to market it.
Yeah, we haven't.
Yeah.
We haven't.
Well, if we apply ourselves a little bit.
We haven't posted in six weeks.
No, it's been shorter than that.
It's been five weeks.
It's been probably, when did I post?
Really, guys?
I mean, we haven't posted in at least a month.
Yeah, it's been about a month.
How does that work?
Well, if we did have a listener, they lost interest.
I mean, like I said, Jeff's working.
I mean, if we want to spice up Austin's...
Friday is pretty open for me right now, so I'm hoping that Friday,
I'll probably get two episodes done.
Shit.
You picked the day I'm driving to Fayetteville.
And if I could post it, I'll let you know, then you can listen to it.
Maybe Saturday on the way back.
I would love that.
I'll see what I can do.
So instead of me...
So you're going to be gone.
Well, so we're going to Goody Goody and we're going to...
Oh, come on.
Don't do all that.
Do that on Saturday.
I'll be back.
All right, well, we'll go to...
We waited for you, did we not?
No, you did not.
And how could we?
What kind of response is that?
Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday.
How could we?
Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday.
Took a bunch of selfies.
You didn't even respond to our texts.
I know.
That was slammed.
There's no excuse.
You always respond to shot glass pictures.
You know how hard it is to respond to a text?
LOL.
Assholes.
Dick.
I did that a lot.
No.
No, you didn't.
Oh, you went radio...
Fuckers.
You went crazy radio silent.
So we like gave up trying to get a response from you and left without you.
Well, it was kind of difficult.
I was really under a lot of pressure.
No, it's good.
I had to make sure our producer...
I'm not over it.
I'm over it.
I'm not.
I'm not sure that the diners between the producers and the sound engineer were good.
All right, I'm over it now.
So what time are you going to be back on Saturday?
I will be back at 3.
I thought you were leaving early.
I am?
Five hours, brother.
Do you have to unload?
That's not early.
Eight o'clock in the morning?
That means you're leaving at 10.
10 to 3 is five hours.
Right.
If you leave it at 8, you'll be home at 1.
Yeah, it's time for lunch.
I'm not good with math.
I'm running out.
Yeah, you're not stopping on the way.
I'm not stopping.
If you leave at 8, you'll be home at about 1, 1.30.
Probably more like 9.
Okay, then 2, 2.30.
Okay, there you go, 9 to 2.
It'll be closed by then.
And then...
Whoa, we closed.
It's inventory.
They have to inventory the store.
Really?
Wow.
Okay.
Anyway, so then we have to unload, and then I have to take the trailer back.
back. I say we get like three o'clock.
No, you didn't mention that. You said I'll be back.
330. You didn't say I'll be back and then I have to do all
this stuff. 330. That's my final offer.
Trailer sitting till Sunday.
Shit, three days. I can't afford that.
It's 600 bucks a day for the trailer.
What? That's a big trailer.
What the hell? Yeah, no.
That's a big trailer. It's a it's actually the world.
It drives itself. It's actually the world's largest trailer.
It's a Tesla trailer. It's a Tesla trailer.
We actually sit on top of the trailer and drive it.
Yeah, nice. Fantastic.
So we could do it.
Charlie, I could go to a wine, see if there's anything
interesting and then Saturday we'll do the good goodies.
What about that?
I'm upset to hear that, but I understand.
Well, you know, we will say how about we just go to Kelly's
without him, whoever the child abduction of Amber.
It's even worse. Corpus Christi, Texas, Zayli Zamora,
one year old, white female, Czech local media, child abduction.
Amber alert. Corpus Christi, Texas.
Local local as in local as in Corpus Corpus Christi media.
Do you know who's in Corpus Christi right now?
I don't. Brian.
I need to text him. Look out for this.
Yeah. No. Give the girl back.
That's so bad. That's a bad joke.
That is bad. That's a horrible joke.
I'm just kidding.
So is Corpus Christi a it's not necessarily a border town.
But are they getting overrun with the legal?
I'm sorry. Can I apologize again?
Corpus Christi is about and about 45 minutes to an hour away
from seven hours.
How are all it's from McAllen, Texas.
McAllen's right on the border.
So it's not far.
It's up a little bit because he got seven hours.
It's up a little bit because he got South Padre that you hit first.
You got Brownsville is the very McAllen's about 10 hours away from here.
But from from McAllen, because we're talking about the border.
Correct. I'm not talking about from here.
Oh, that's asking if Corpus Christi is involved in the whole border.
Yeah. So I was I was really I got you.
I was not from here.
So that's that's the reason why.
So we'll text Brian.
Go hey, how's the legals?
Well, well, hold on.
So, you know, you can see that Corpus Christi Corpus Christi
would have a bunch of legals hanging out to fucking Ireland.
Or not. It's not an island, but I mean, it's it could be.
There are legals everywhere down there right now.
That's what I mean. Where you think they're putting them?
They're not all in the cow on the hill.
McCallum. Yeah, they're in Frederickburg.
They're in Fort Worth.
They're in there everywhere. They're in Austin.
They're in Dallas. They're in Frisco.
So I was just curious if Corpus Christi, because he's down there on a you
ash on a vacation, is he experiencing?
I was just curious because Corpus Christi is kind of a vacation spot
for folks here in Dallas to go down there and see the beach.
And I'm just curious if if that's.
Being overrun with the legals like McCallum is probably not now.
Well, why not? What makes us think that if it's close,
why not? Because Corpus Christi has where are you going to put them?
Where are you going to put them in McCallum or any of those cities down there?
Well, here's the thing. They're they're they're being curried.
Yeah. And the area is massive. Right.
Every city, every town and city. That's what I mean.
It's close. Massive. Right.
I mean, so it's you're not going to like there's thousands and thousands of them.
Corpus Christi has the largest aquarium in Texas.
You're right. It's not like they're dropping off 100 people.
It's like thousands. No, you're right. You're right.
I mean, I was downplaying it because it probably doesn't seem like a big
a lot of people, but it is the El Paso.
Border Patrol is dumping like two to four hundred people a day.
A day, a day, a day.
So a day. So I mean, where are those people going?
I'm not talking about like loading up on buses and heading out.
We're talking about like they release them. I know.
Two hundred. Let's say it's just two hundred today times 30.
It is so much more. But yes, it's way more.
That's fifteen thousand people.
A hundred and eighty thousand people.
That's a lot of people.
That's fifteen thousand people, a hundred and eighty thousand
have made it across the border in in just the last two months or something.
I am wondering how hundred and eighty thousand this is going to.
This is a this is mammoth.
This is going to be a mammoth tragedy.
I think I think this is going to bite the Democrats.
Landslide red wave like we've never seen in 2020.
Well, McCallum just turned. They did.
Oh, we have to talk about that.
Because, oh, on the spot on the spot, well, they had a downtown McCallum.
Yeah, they they had a mayoral election.
They did a runoff in McCallum, Texas.
And what's the constituency of that?
Eighty five percent Hispanic, even higher, I think. Eighty seven.
Could be eighty seven point three. Keep going.
Keep going. And it flipped from a blue Democrat run city.
For how long do we know?
I don't know that to a Republican mayor now.
Massive. Because the people that live there.
A hundred percent border town.
The people that live there are sick of what they're dealing with.
Yeah. And it is bad down there right now.
Bad. Bad, bad, bad.
And it's McCallum, right? McCallum, Texas.
Yeah, McCallum, Texas. Down there right on the border.
Dude, I'm telling you, that's huge, man.
It's like 10 minutes from the border.
You know, when it comes from litmus test, like how are people feeling?
About the situation? Dude, dude.
There's a lot of folks that are stirred.
A big litmus test right there. Yeah.
Huge. A lot of folks are stirred.
You see, whenever they have these these drive bys,
there are a tremendous amount of Republican supporters down in the South.
Yeah. All along those roads, they line up with the flags
and they've lined up with the Trump 2020 flags.
Guys, all you have to do is know what life was like
when Trump had a very effective stay in Mexico,
you know, immigration policy and not come to the border.
And what's happening now?
You don't have to have any political affiliation
to see the difference between what's going on now
and what was going on then to be 100% on board.
There was voter fraud in McCallum, Texas.
But I will say this, that the current congressman
that is in McCallum, that won by less than half a point.
Oh, good Lord. How frustrating.
Won by less than half a point. Right.
So that tells you... Which means it's not going to happen again.
Well, what I'm saying is that it's split.
Yeah. Because there was an independent running, too.
But it won't be now.
No, it won't be. But, you know, two years.
I think, guys, I'm telling you, 2022 is going to be amazingly...
Like...
I think people forget how bad the Democrats lost at the House.
Yeah.
They forget about that.
That was a massive loss for them.
Yeah.
I mean, they were already losing.
That comes back to Joe Manchin.
He is being told by some of the progressives
that... He's a traitor.
You're a traitor and you get on board.
Or you get out of our way.
For not abolishing the filibuster.
Right. And I come back to...
As Joe mentioned, I thought he's a Republican.
No, he's a Democrat.
And he's a Senator.
And basically what they're saying is,
if you're a Democrat, you have to vote a certain way.
100%. You don't want to support or vote
how your constituents want.
You have to vote how we want you to do.
Toe to the party line.
Whether it's what your constituents want or not,
you're a Democrat, you have to vote like this.
Talk about... That's bullshit.
I have amazing, amazing respect and admiration
for this guy's co-owners, man.
Mancini or Manchin or whatever his name is.
Manchin, Joe Manchin.
For him to stand up to the entire liberal left
and the Democrat party.
They're going ballistic.
They're going ape shit crazy.
And he's not the only one.
There's another one too.
Kirsten somebody.
There's another Senator.
And she's like, no, we're not getting rid of the filibuster.
It's amazing.
Well, if you think about it, if Joe...
Look up Kirsten.
Well, it's not like...
Yeah, that's her.
Kirsten's...
That's her right there.
Sinema.
Look up her and filibuster.
Put the word filibuster on the end of that
because I can promise you she's one of the people that is...
So Major Chris says, supporter says abolish filibuster.
Oh, they're talking to her.
So basically they're getting angry at her.
It's the same thing.
Toe the party line or get out.
Yeah.
And what I'm thinking is, and a lot of people are thinking are,
what if Manchin flips to Republican?
Well, all of a sudden old Chuckie Schumer is no longer...
It takes one person, that's it.
If one of them flips, Mitch McConnell is now the majority
leader again.
They lost the Senate.
Just one.
Interesting.
And it's not unprecedented.
They have done it.
It's happened.
They've flipped parties before.
It's happened very recently.
Even if he goes independent, I think he loses it.
They lose the House.
Yep.
Hmm.
What does happen?
What does happen in that situation?
Somebody goes...
I don't know.
Yeah.
No, I think you're right.
Republicans get the majority.
Because it's 49-49.
And now it becomes...
I'm sorry, 50-50 with Kamala as the tiebreaker.
Then it becomes 50, 48, and 1.
Well, 50, 49, and 1.
49 and 1.
Yeah.
So Kamala would still be a tie, but Manchin or whoever
could be the tiebreaker instead of Kamala.
How cool would that be?
Oh my god, I would love that.
Yeah, that'd be nice.
Man, we covered a lot, a lot of stuff tonight.
Even though a third of this is going to be disposed.
Why?
Why, because I did a reverse burp?
I don't remember.
But I do remember drinking.
And we did a lot of that.
We're going to go back and listen to it.
So we got Uncle Denear's 1856, and the first one was 1752?
1792.
Both of them were respectable.
And then we finished with?
Well, Paul over here was like, oh, look at me.
Nobody likes my uncle.
Look, I'm telling you right now, I
don't have anything against this.
No, we finished with that one.
Well, you finished with this one.
I haven't had it.
I'm sure you'll have it here in a bit.
What is it?
Well, it's the Wildcatter.
It's aged eight years, which is odd for a bottle of moonshine.
No, it isn't.
Eight years is respectable.
Considering what it is, what is that other ancient?
Ancient age?
Yeah, is that bottle for eight years?
I have no idea.
I don't know.
All right, well, you know what, guys?
We're spirited, and we're happy to be back.
Happy to be back.
Really happy to be back.
We'll get our shows posted.
Yep.
Love doing it.
Got to get back on track.
We are super excited.
Our producer has graduated.
Yes.
Frickin' high school graduate as a producer.
I mean, nowhere to go but up, my brother.
Yeah.
Very nice.
All right, guys, you have a good night,
and we will see you in one week.
Peace.
Dudeslikeus.us.
Suck it.
Come on, Jeff, join in.
Boogity-woogity.
Boogity-woogity?
Yeah.
Is that what he said?
I don't know.
What the fuck is that?
That's not an instrument, for one thing.
Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice.
You're supposed to be an instrument.
Don't say it three times.
Boogity-woogity.
All right.
I fucking sang the stars at night are big and bright.
You did.
I joined in on that.
All right.
We're out.
Good night.