We got off our popcorn halftime quite a while
ago, didn't we? And the beer. And the beer. Yeah.
Well, we've toned it down. We're cutting calories.
You know, got to. I need to make more jerky so
we can have jerky halftime. There we go. Okay.
What do we need to do to jump on that program?
I keep looking for the meats in the expiring
tomorrow section. Perfect. Because that's what
I use, and then, you know, as long as it's not
gray and nasty. And it's less expensive than
you just slice it and dehydrate it right then.
They're trying to give us sarsaparilla. Yes.
Root beer disease. Oh. Yeah. Maybe I used the
wrong word. Salmonella. Oh, yeah, that one, too.
Is it a sarsaparilla? I say that every time.
Salmonella. Just to be irritating, that's what
I say every time. Salmonella, yeah. Here we are.
Second half. I'll tell you what. I was kind of
disappointed. Well, first of all, look back a
little bit. Dudes Like Us is here for the second
half of our podcast. It is September 16th. Damn.
Damn. Halfway. September 16th. Almost fall. Fall's
coming around the corner. Lots of fun shit. So
excited. I don't want to talk about it in the
second half. What? The excitedness part? Yeah,
just the fall. Yep. You guys are taking off.
You know what? We need to put it on the schedule.
I very much would like to do that. I already
did that. I went to the Google, the Dudes Like
Us Google calendar and put my weekends out. I
need to put on my calendar. You said use the
Dudes Like Us calendar. Yeah, okay. Okay, fair
enough. Yeah, and let's make sure everybody's
aware of all these Oktoberfest things that are
coming up. I don't want to miss them. I want
to plan for them. And we need to get Chuck the
credentials for that. So it's half of September
right now, and it's the second half. We had the
shout -out to the first half whiskey, which was
a... Blood Oath. Blood Oath. Oath, not Oath.
Number eight. Yeah, it was... Who was the distillery?
It was in the middle. Lux Roe. Lux Roe, yes.
Lux Roe. Okay, well, they were very respectable.
Right there in Bardstown. I mean, it wasn't really
a bad thing. It was great for somebody. Look,
it was quality because it had, what, an 8, 10,
and a 12 -year? That was jammed in there? 14,
11, and an 8. Not every blend, not every bourbon
is a hit with everybody. Right? So, you know,
it doesn't mean they suck at doing what they
do. It's just sometimes it strikes out with some
people. Sometimes you get some that are good
at sucking. I smell sugar cookies with this.
Just kind of put that out there for now. Right.
Sugar cookies. Sugar cookies. Yeah, that's a
good one. Dude, what's up? What's up, Sean? I'm
Paul. And I'm Jeff. And we're kicking this off.
And we're going to go faster. We're going to
do this podcast a lot faster than we normally
do. Oh, wow. You sounded like that was a real
deal. You set your counter for 1 .2. Yes, I did.
Let's talk about all the things that we're going
to do. Just got to roll your tongue a little
bit. So the Frisco Oktoberfest is October 4th.
I'd like to go to this. I'm not going to be there
because I think the McKinney one. Hold on. Hold
up. I'd like to go to this. I'm not going to
be there, though. No, I said I'm not going to
be here for the McKinney one. Oh. Well, that's
all right. I don't really have October 4th. I
don't really give a shit about it. Yeah, would
it be weird for you this year to go to the Oktoberfest?
It might be. I don't know. Well, maybe not. Maybe
it'll be more fun because I'm not bound by staying
at the filtered booth. You always have responsibilities.
I'm not going to say you were stressed out, but
you always had something to do. I'm amped. Yeah,
you sold beer all day. So welcome, guten tag.
My name is Herb Murphy. Right here, spray you
some beer. Ice cold beer here. I never heard
him say that. Is Octoberfest where we sold a
bunch of our product last year? Yeah, we did.
Check us out on dudeslikeus -woodcraft or Instagram
or dudeslikeus -podcast. Yeah, we did sell some
of the wood stuff. In fact, some of that stuff
is still available if you guys are looking to
get some wood crafting stuff through our dudeslikeus
account. Yeah, very nice. Yeah, so I think you
guys should go to the McKinney because I think
you should experience it as a commoner instead
of a... What do you mean? You're not going to
dress as a Lederhosen? As a non -participant.
As a non... Yeah, you're a commoner, not a lord.
Yeah, I'm on board with that. I think that's
going to be way better. I think what I'll do
is I'll carry a little... Wow, she's rather a
juggy. What is going on there? Yeah. Pouring
that beer like a master. You know why they took
that picture, because she's the cliche. Anyways,
moving on. Hold on. You said he's a lord? Well,
I mean, back there behind there serving drinks.
Thank you, my lord. Thank you for the drinks.
I don't remember anybody saying that to you.
Oh, dude, when I'm passing you a beverage, thank
you, my lord. Really? Your grace. Thank you,
grace. No, your grace, not just grace. She's
juggy, too. Okay, wow. Why are we showing Juggie?
Because they're in dirndls. He's hot, man. I
mean, that's a typical outfit that they wear.
I mean, for the females. Are we doing this? October
4th. That's the Frisco one. By the way, I've
been there. I went last year and it was fun.
Do they have any brats? Really? Yeah, I was in
Germany for the Oktoberfest. Are you guys going
to buy your lederhosen? No. No, not really. I'm
in. Why don't you buy maybe a t -shirt that looks
like a leaderhosen? Well, because you complain
that it's sweaty and your balls get really swampy.
I have a leotard that looks like a leaderhosen,
so I'll wear that. It's really tight, so you
see bulges. Bulges everywhere. You know what?
I'm glad you mentioned that. I think I'm going
to take my leaderhosen and have them hem it somehow.
Bring it in a little bit. Not in, but up. Assless?
So it like grabs things correctly? Crotchless.
Everything just dangles? No, it's like from my
hip down, it's like they go all the way to my
kneecap. And I'm just like, I don't want it down
that far. I want it kind of like thigh. Oh, you
want to show a little leg. I want to show some
leg. Have it in two parts, like a front and a
back, and then have it like attached to you and
suck the air out in between. I want to be able
to reach up my pant and easily. scratch myself
if I need to for any reason or free myself or
whatever. So look, I'm a huge fan of, first of
all, I lived in Germany and I enjoy eating. I'm
part German. I'm hugely German. No, you're such
a count. What are you talking about? Both sides.
Wait, no. Because you're front and back. You're
Taiwanese. Taiwanese. Oh my God. Hold on. I need
to think for a second. No, I am fourth generation
German. Definitely on my father's side. On my
mom's side, I think there's some. Fourth generation.
Where'd they come from before that? That's not
too far along. No, it's really recent. So where'd
they live before Germany? My grandfather's father
is the one that came over by himself. From where?
From Germany. Well, you said fourth generation
German. Where were they before they were German?
Yeah, that was before like the. World War II?
Was he a horde? Remember the horde? Not the horde.
Yeah, no. And no Mongols or wherever else you're
going to go with this. He invented fire. In the
United States. Oh, gotcha. In the United States.
Apparently my great -grandfather came over. I
don't know when. I think in 1905 is when he came
over. Interesting. My grandmother was born in
1903. That's your great -grandfather, you said?
So yeah, he was probably born in the 1800s. Right.
Late 1800s. And he was a young man, came over
by himself. I think he went through Ellis Island.
One of my aunts did the whole, not 23andMe thing,
well, I think they did, but they did the whole
look up all the documents and kind of chased
down the whole family tree thing. Anyway, very
interesting. Did you see who owns 23andMe now?
Is that genealogy? I thought it went under. No.
No, China bought it. A pharmaceutical company
bought it. It's owned by China. Yeah. It did
not go under? No. I was told that it is no longer
there. They sold all of the DNA and proprietary
shit to a company. Oh, my God. That's not good.
And they said, we don't have to follow all those
rules. And furthermore, when they, that's bullshit,
by the way. It is. But they also, the board,
because it's publicly traded, the board, all
the board quit. at the same time. 100 % of them.
Yeah. That is bullshit. If you sign up to do
something and you say, hey, we're not going to
give away your information, then that should
be transferable. Yeah, that should stick to no
matter what happens. It didn't, though. That's
nuts. That's crazy. That should be a massive
lawsuit. I don't know. I don't know. I don't
know what the law is. It's too late. I mean,
it's not like, look, the data is out there. So
even if you were to sue them, they still have
the data. Yeah, they still have it. So what does
that mean? I mean, look, they got my spit. They
got my spit. They got my mom's spit. They got
a couple cousins' spit. But what is that really
going to do? Well, that's how they get their
DNA. Yeah. Okay, but what is it going to do?
No, they could craft specific pharmaceutical
drugs to target you. But you can do that. Or
they could sell it to other people and say, He
is susceptible to this disease. Don't insure
him or whatever. That's possible, but they can
do that no matter what. Not to me. Do you go
to the doctor? No. Do you get your hair cut?
Shit, I gave a fecal sample a couple years ago.
No, my point is that - They probably have me,
too. This information's available, period. But
they don't share my DNA. You get blood work done.
They don't share my DNA, though. That you know
of. I'm not going down that road because that's
a lot of what ifs. Yeah, but it's what if there.
This is a what if. I mean, the whole 23andMe
is a what if. Well, I don't think it is. I mean,
you actually gave them your DNA. So let me throw
out something. If you're saying that the most
nefarious use of our DNA through 23andMe is to
find a way to kill you, I can think of a lot
better ways to kill you. No, I'm not saying that.
I don't know. I have no idea. But these companies,
I have no idea how they work. But Jeff's right.
They can craft. And I'm not saying they're definitely
not going to use 23andMe to do this. But what
they can do and what Jeff is kind of... said
was that they can take your DNA, even when you
go to the doctor and you voluntarily say, hey,
we're going to assess what's going on in you,
and then you now have a tab on your folder that
says, this is your methylatum lineup. This is
what you are. This is how you were created. This
is what impacts you. This is how you impact other
stuff. This is stuff you can eat. This is stuff
you can't eat. This is what you're susceptible
of getting. It's this whole lineup. Can they
get that from your spit? Probably. I don't know.
I don't know. But what they can do is what I
found looking at the 23andMe, they can find out
certain, because they have statistics in there
deep that say foods that you're typically allergic
to. They said my specific strain of spit that
I gave, I was associated with some pirates. Not
pirates. Pirates. Pirates. Now clear up them,
their shambles. Or I'll feed you piecemeal to
the rats in the cellar. Seaman. Ooh. Seaman?
No, seaman. Is it a single one or a plural? Jizz
in my pants. Seaman? So it is seaman. Seaman.
Okay, more than one. All your jizz. He's susceptible
to semen. He's drawn to it? He's drawn to it.
Especially if consumed poorly. Well, because
they brought up different things. Like they were
saying, well, this person is, they're not scared
of heights. And they have a whole laundry list
of things that they say, this type of person,
these are the conditions. And I was going down
the list, and I was like, holy shit, I'm not
afraid of heights. And I'm like, I don't forget
exactly what it was. I do like this type of food.
And it was kind of like the power of suggestion.
I don't know. The fear of heights is very, you
can't dodge that one. I'm not afraid of heights.
I mean, everyone's afraid of heights at a certain
point. Especially if it's at a height where you're
falling and going to die. If you're already falling,
you just own it. You own it. I'm going to get
as flat as possible so I can make as big a mess
as possible. I'm going to try to be - Go ahead
first. I'm going to try to soar like Tom Cruise.
So you should go by that angle so you just kind
of skip? I'm pretty sure if I were to fall off
at the Royal Gorge or something like that - It
depends on how far. I would find a way. I would
find a way to glide. So get at that angle. And
then at the right, at the very bottom, I'd go
up onto my feet. That's what I would - You know
what? Hey, it's in my genes. I wasn't in 23andMe,
but I can promise you - I would aim for a tree.
You would? Aim? Well, I mean, like, on the side
of the... I'd kind of, like, I'd fly towards
the glide, I should say, not fly. I'd glide towards
the side of the gorge and catch a branch coming
down. Try to break your fall a little bit. I
think we'd scream like a girl all the way down.
I was going to say, I can see this. I could see
this body going down and his arms flapping in
a weird way and then screaming like a girl. There's
a tree. Get the tree. And then pop. Are you kidding
me? I would fucking have a heart trip two seconds
after I fell off the edge. I'd be dead before
I hit the ground. You know what's terrifying?
How many people have that's happened to them
because of these stupid selfies. Yes. And they
fall like hundreds of feet. There were these
guys playing Pokemon, you know, playing Pokemon
Go. And they would sit there. They weren't paying
attention to what they're doing. And they're
going down, you know. Imagine if it's a two -second
fall. Imagine how long those two seconds are
for somebody who knows they're going to die.
Or even longer. It could be 10 seconds, depending
on how far they're falling. Or how high it is.
Yes. Like these people that were in the World
Trade Center when they jumped off the 100th floor.
Oh, my God. That'd be horrible. You know? I mean,
how bad is it inside to go? September 11th just
went around the corner. So, you know, shout out
to those. It got completely overshadowed by the
whole Kirk thing. It did, but they still, the
September 11th morning, they didn't have the.
the normal regime -ish kind of, I didn't mean
to say it could sound like that, but the ring
of the bell, bong, you know, do they still do
that? No, they read the name. Oh, yeah, they
still do. They read the name. Look, I was disconnected
this whole week, and it wasn't because of work
or anything. It was because I was overwhelmed
with that incident. But look, let's bounce back
a little bit, go back to the Oktoberfest, because
I got to tell you, you know, you were talking
about your experience. I lived in Germany. I
went to a lot of these festivals there. Nice.
That'd be cool. Well, I mean, it's not just,
okay, not even just the festivals. I'm talking
like daily stuff. Every day is a festival. You
know, you go down, hey, I'm going to go get lunch.
You know, we're going to go eat here. We're going
to, it's a German restaurant. So it's a festival
every day as far as I'm concerned. And then you
get the Oktoberfest there is a really big deal.
But I freaking love bratwurst, knackwurst, and
all the German food. I freaking love it. Hey,
what's that really thin meat? I think it's pork
and they bread it. A schnitzel. Schnitzel. Wiener
schnitzel. Wiener schnitzel. That's so good.
I haven't had one of those done correctly. I
haven't had one of those in ages. We should go
down to the Bavarian Grill on an Alteen. We should.
I would love to have one of those. It's so good.
It's good. I'm not a huge fan of opening a restaurant,
but if I were, it would be a German restaurant.
It would be successful. If you were to open a
restaurant? If I were to open a restaurant, it
would be a huge German one, and I would have
all the toy trains going everywhere. Would you
have an Oompa Oompa band? A polka band? Polka
band. Yeah. Well, I mean. Traveling? You know,
it's successful. So, you know what? You know,
there's, I don't know, probably. I mean, what
the hell? During the Oktoberfest, they have to
have bands out there, so there's got to be some
people that need to work during the off -season.
Would all of your people be blonde hair, blue
eyes, and very tall? Ooh. Would you sell white
coolers or boxed wine? They're going to be Asian.
You going to have Jaeger bikes, too? I mean,
it's going to be a fair employment program, as
long as they, you know, will have a few German
people there. Would you have aged tequila on
tap? Would you throw your fake German accent
to it all the time? Yeah. Well, I would work
on that. I would probably sharpen up my, I'd
probably learn German. Just say klackenwacken.
Klackenwacken. Would you have a wiener slapping
contest? Ooh. That'd be fun. Yeah. Who's got
the largest wiener slapper? You could just have
dachshunds running around all the time. I don't
know about that. The whole health department.
We're dog friendly. I was thinking like extended
bratwurst. Or just have like a tube. Like on
a stick? Just have like a big hamster tube with
dachshunds running around. Perfect. Up top. See,
this is a no lose. I know. With all these ideas
we've just thrown out, this is an absolute no
-lose German restaurant. I'm not going to do
90 % of that stuff, but I'm going to have pretzels.
I'm going to have a wonderful spread of different
types of German mustards. Like rolled gold pretzels?
Yeah. Well, just the traditional ones. They'll
be for sale, of course, but when we went to the
Bavarian Grill, we sat up there at the bar, had
these two large beers, and they bring you a couple
baskets of the pretzels and the mustard. Dude,
all day long. It's like a wonderful thing. And
then order a plate of eight knockwurst, bratwurst.
Sausages. Just all kinds. You should have fried
pickles and have it be like six or eight of them
and have it be like $12. I am not going to sell
fried pickles at a German joint. That's just
not happening. Okay. What about flaming takis?
Now, I'd have what they call pommes frites, which
are French fries. And I would serve them the
way they serve them. The way they do in Germany
where they take a piece of paper and they put
the French fries in there and they fold the paper
in a cone. And that's the way you'd walk around
and eat your French fries. Awesome. Nice. Except
they eat theirs with mayonnaise. That's nasty.
Are you going to have events? Who hurt them?
Are you going to have events? Oh, I'd have a
recording room in the back. Should you have a
magic show of fat women in black leather? That's
like Mexican street corn. I don't understand
that either. Hold on a second. Say that again?
A magic show with fat women in leather. What
is that all about? That sounds like a burlesque
show. It's a German restaurant. Germans are big
into bondage. Fat women in leather. In magic
show. Come on. No one is following you. Thank
you, Mr. Producer. I just want to clarify. We
had an outsider that came in and said, all right.
I was just asking if you had events. That's all.
I mean, we're going to have some events, but
I don't know about the whole magic show. Why
do they got to be fat? There's other options.
Is this like some dream that you have? I hope
Sean does this and he opens up a fat magic woman.
What's going on over there? I'm just coming up
with ideas for you. Oh, there you go. Now, I
would probably, because look, when we took the
kids to the Bavarian Grill, what was the most
fun the kids had out there? It was when they
were doing the... The chicken dance. Clap, clap,
clap, clap. You know, that was so much fun for
them. And I think that if you have a band that
goes out there and plays it every hour... A magic
show. Yeah, Nicole Kidman. In black leather.
And Shania Twain. Okay, well, I can get behind
something like that, but why would you want to
get that at a... What makes that unique for a
German place? I don't know. Maybe if they get
some braids? I don't think my wife is going to
authorize that, or she's going to say that's
a good idea. What, the braids? The fat naked
women in leather? And when they take a break,
they can river dance. So you get a little Irish,
a little Gaelic, German. Listen, I'm the idea
guy. You don't have to run with it. What's the
shoe plot in Bavaria? But they have to be wooden
shoes. Those are Dutch. Whatever. It doesn't
matter. You bring in an eclectic... Those are
called clogs. Yeah. Anyways. Can we move on?
But you know what? The Lederhosen, the traditional
clothes that they were out there, I would love
to have that. Oh, that's awesome. It's actually
awesome. And you should sell beer. Oh, yeah.
We'll sell two types. Small and large. No, large
and extra large. The big -ass mug, if you want
it or not. That's nice. That's a big mug. That's
awesome. I love that. I like the German culture.
The German culture is definitely, right now,
they've got a lot of problems. Well, you have
to kind of classify what era. Why? Why, Jeff?
Why? Like Germany right now or Germany back then?
No, just traditional German, like, fun things.
Oh, fun things. God. What do you say? We're going
to break down the libraries and throw all the
books in the middle of the German restaurant?
Is it time to talk about football? Haven't we
talked about those Aggies in the Notre Dame game?
Oh, wow. Wasn't that something else? That was
a good game. I could kick myself. I watched the
first half and then got distracted, started doing
something else, and I am salty that I did that.
It was good. Steven came over. He was moving.
He was working all day. He came over. He watched
the last quarter with us. We were up and screaming
at the team. Screaming. Yeah, it was numb. Okay,
so the Aggies were 16, and Notre Dame was 6,
and it was a back -and -forth, nail -biting,
thrilling finish game. Yes. And it didn't go
to overtime, did it? No. No. It's because they
missed the extra point on their last drive. That's
right. And then the Aggies came down, and under
duress, he tosses it to the tight end who falls
in. It was a miracle throw, miracle catch. That
was his only catch. Is he like a big Swede or
something like that? No, that's Matt Ohlstrom.
That's a different guy. They showed him a lot
because he did something. He had a penalty on
the last drive. That's right. That's right. He
made up for it. He sure did. Different tight
end. I know, but he made a catch on that drive.
Yes, he did. So he did make a difference. I love
our, you know, but this guy is a blocking tight
end that just happened to be open and Marcel
just happened to throw it where. It was so great.
He even said he couldn't see it until it was
just on him because of the lights. It was so
great. And he just grabbed it and snatched it
and came down with it and didn't lose it on the
fall or any of that. And there's nothing that
defender could do. No. He just turned around
and boom, there it was. Amazing. It really was.
Boom, catches it, wins the game. But you know,
he got laid that night. Yeah. He probably got
laid before the game too. No, I don't think you're
supposed to do that. I think you're supposed
to say all your mambo juice for the game. Really?
That's the way it works? That's a thing. So whenever
somebody drops a pass, they're like, damn it,
he got laid before the game. Possibly. Or missed
a block. He's low on his little testosterone
count. But now we're talking about A &M and the
playoffs and A &M, Heisman candidate now. And
I'm like, wow, we went from obscurity to full
bore. And I'm like, I have too much battered
Aggie syndrome to get past that. Come on. Let's
get past Auburn. How about that? We have to look
who they're playing. I mean, Notre Dame is now
0 -2. Right. And we haven't even played an SEC
team. Come on. Now, Notre Dame, I think, is good.
Notre Dame at home, yeah. Were they 6? I don't
know. I think they were 6 or 8. No, this is no
slouch of a win, but let's not get crazy. That's
what I mean. I mean, they're 0 -2. Let's see
where Notre Dame ends up. Well, Notre Dame lost
on the road to Miami. Right? In the first week.
And then they had a bye week. Yes. Bye week.
Week two. Yes, they're 0 -2, and they lost to
a really good opponent at home by one point on
the final play of the game, right? Right. So
that's not a bad loss, right? No, it isn't. But
it crushes your season. But last year, they played
nobody the rest of the season. And last year,
they were the runner -up. They were in the championship
game. But they have a new coach this year. No,
they don't. I thought new head coach Mike Elko.
No, that's the Aggies. The Aggies have a new
coach. Oh, I thought that's what we were talking
about. He's not new. He's not new either. He
was there last year. Yeah, he's a second -year
guy or even third -year guy. I kind of like the
coach for Notre Dame. He's a young guy. What's
his name? Yes. He's a good coach. He doesn't
seem like the coach they had before, that fucking
idiot. Kelly? Brian Kelly. Can't stand him. Marcus
Freeman is the coach for Notre Dame now. He's
a good dude. Yeah, I like to see him succeed.
Obviously, I like the Aggies way more, but I'm
not a Notre Dame fan is the problem at all. At
all. And part of that stands from... Did that
guy just throw a chair? Yes, Elko threw a chair.
Yeah, Elko threw a chair. The only teams that
I was really able to watch growing up was Notre
Dame was always on. So that was one channel.
That was the Aggie coach that did that? Yeah.
Oh, he's got some spunk. He's got a little temper.
Yeah. He fucked that chair up too, man. Caused
like $13 ,000 worth of damage to the turf. They
need to take that to the blue tent. Yeah. And
it was on Notre Dame Broadcasting Network. You
know, NBC always shows Notre Dame games. Yeah.
It drives me nuts. That's why I got sick of seeing
them. It always pissed me off that I couldn't
see my other teams that I was interested in.
Right. Well, that's crazy. Every time Shelly
watches the games and they show the head coach
on the sidelines, she's worried about his health.
He's not healthy looking. He doesn't look healthy.
He's got a serious beer gut on him. Yeah, he
does. Yeah. Big time. All right. Well, any other
highlights in college football? I know there
were some highlights in pro. My Ohio State and
Ohio University game, because I went to Ohio
University and I'm an Ohio State fan. It was
actually a slightly better game than I thought
it was going to be. Yeah. Ohio State ended up
walking away from it 39 -9 or something like
that. At first it was a little tight. Yeah, it
was. And OU was playing them better than I expected.
I figured by first quarter I'd be 2 -0. Yeah,
21 -3, right? Yeah. Or 21 -0, really. Yeah, so
I was excited about that. I don't know any other.
Games that were on, I think Clemson lost. Clemson
lost to Georgia Tech, yeah. I watched a little
bit of that Oregon -Northwestern game. Michigan
beat the shit out of Central Michigan, 63 -3.
Good Lord. Were there any other upsets? Let's
see, Georgia Tech was a big upset, I believe.
Ooh, I watched that Georgia -Tennessee game,
too. Georgia -Tennessee. That was a good game.
Oh, that was a really good game. Yeah, that was
good. Are we able to, if you're on the lower
half of the fantasy football, I can draft tonight,
right? At midnight. Vandy beat South Carolina.
Oh, yeah, Vandy beat South Carolina. I don't
know why I'm worried about it. I'm drafting a
fucking kicker. Yeah, I noticed you didn't have
a kicker. I thought you made a trade with Overton.
Well, I did, but you know what he did? He texted
me and was giving me a hard time. He was just
like, well, I don't know if I want that trade
or not. It just seems like a downer. You already
dropped somebody? Well, yeah, I dropped him anyways
because he was out. You know, and he wasn't going
to be - Oh, so the trade didn't go through. The
trade did go through. He put it through, but
was like testing me bullshit. And so I was like,
well, fuck, man. I was like, don't worry about
it. I'll just drop it. Because I was like, fuck
you, man. No, no, no. As soon as he makes the
trade, it's over. I'm sorry. It doesn't matter.
I reversed it. Why? He made the trade. Because
- You're being nice about it. I didn't know -
He had second thoughts about it. No, no, no.
What happened is he made the trade. sent me a
text message that suggested that he was skeptical
and didn't really want to do it. And I was like,
all right, well, don't worry about it. We don't
have to do it. But he made the trade. But he
didn't tell me he made the trade. I never checked.
It was after 12. I didn't start the kicker. And
I was like, dude, what the fuck is wrong with
you? Why didn't you just tell me that you did
the trade? You suggested that you didn't do the
trade. So I went back there and I was like, dude,
I'm not fucking doing this trade. It looks like
a bullshit trade. So I was like, just reverse
it. I don't want it. I'll keep my kiddo tight
end. So you were able to reverse the trade? Well,
I just reversed it. I don't know if I was able
to. I just reversed it because it was bullshit.
Reversed it meaning you dropped what he gave
you? reversed it, meaning I proposed to get my
player back and to get... I reversed the trade.
And he accepted. He accepted it, so it was no
harm, no foul, but I don't know how Barry's going
to take that. He's not going to care because
neither player was played. Okay, well, good.
Neither player was played. And if he does cause
a fuss about it, you can just tell him, listen,
we got confused about what was going on with
this trade. Neither player was played. No harm,
no foul. And I fucking lost because of it. I
lost, well, you know what, just two weeks in
a row. But I thought for sure I was going to
win. I had like a 15 -point lead. Yeah, Chase
did well for you. Yeah, and he had his DB playing
or his linebacker playing. And his linebacker
scored 22 fucking points. Who was it? Do you
remember? No, I don't, and I don't even want
to talk about it. It's hard. You don't want to
relive it? Yeah, because I didn't even check
until like the following morning. I didn't care
because I thought it was a slam dunk. I was like,
hey, he's not going to make it next to 22 points.
Are you fucking kidding me? Unbelievable. I was
going to walk away. I was like, oh, look at me.
I'm fucking one and one. Two, zero and two now.
Did you see, I played Barry. Yes. Oh, you tied.
We tied. His second tie in a row. I know. I don't
think that's ever happened in absolutely all
of history. Yeah. It's so hard to get a tie.
It is. And he has two weeks in a row. What I
don't get is it goes down to the 100th point.
Do we not tabulate down to the 100th point? I
don't know. Because there's two decimal points.
Yeah. Steven asked me that. He goes, how did
you tie? It goes down to the 100th, right? Did
you get the exact 100th? Well, no, we're both
93 .00. Do we ever see a .12 or anything like
that? No, we don't. I don't know why they don't
go to the bench. Interesting. That would be cool.
Maybe that's something we propose for next year.
To do a tiebreaker based on the bench. Yeah,
just maybe the bench or just the highest person
on your bench. Do they allow that? Or say, can
we tabulate to the hundredth? Yeah. If it rounds
up to solid points, that's not going to happen.
Well, that's what I mean. If Yahoo allows that,
that would eliminate all the ties. I'm okay with
ties. I'm okay with ties. Well, I don't know.
I mean, I kind of like Barry being zero and two
ties. Zero, zero, and two? It's very interesting.
Double O2? Zero, zero, two. He'll definitely
be high in the rankings because it doesn't tabulate
as a loss. I don't know. His number, I don't
know where he's at. Yeah, I'm one and one. So
I guess, well, that's a good point. So is he
higher than me because I have a loss and he's
got two ties? Oh, yeah. So he is. Fifth, you
are eighth. Oh, my God. Yeah, because he doesn't
register a loss. He has no losses. Yep. He is
batting 200. He's got 200 points. You've got
178. I think that's bullshit because, look, I
think that even if you tie, it's still a loss
because you didn't win. Because, look, at the
end of the day, it's either you win or you didn't
win. Whatever. You know, that's why I'm saying
you had a win in the win column. You had more
wins than he did. Then you should be higher than
he is. Yeah. Hey, it's Yahoo's algorithm. I'm
not going to argue with it. It's kind of fun.
All of it's fun. Yeah. All right. So let's talk
about pro real quick. I'm in third somehow. Yeah,
that's awesome. Yeah. Let's see. You know, say
you had to interject that. Sean, I know you're
in last place. Paul, I know you're in eighth.
Yeah. Because I won't be able to say that for
very long. I'm going to use it now. Did you guys
watch the Cowboy game? Cowboys and Giants? I
watched some of it. That was amazing. It was
a fantastic game. It was amazing. And I don't
know how I feel about the Cowboys, because the
Giants, are they a good team? No. They're not
supposed to be. That's what I mean. Russell Wilson's
playing pretty damn well. Russell Wilson had
a career day. Almost 600 yards. But is that because
the Cowboys' defense is bad? No, it's because
he was throwing these fucking rockets. And then
he blows it. And he has over 400 yards and three
touchdowns, or maybe four touchdowns. Who, Wilson?
Yes. No, he had closer to 600. No, I mean, at
this point in the game, and he had made that
amazing pass to neighbors. He threw an interception.
And then in overtime, he throws the most boneheaded
interception. That's because, well, he couldn't
see who he was throwing to. It was a boneheaded
decision. But you know what? I don't care because
I don't want to. Let's do a shout -out to the
Dallas Cowboys kicker. Dude, the guy's a stud.
What is going on with that? And I love his story,
man. Well, that's why someone drafted him early
into fantasy football. So I love his story because
he was sitting on the couch and his wife said
to him, dude, you could do better than that.
Right. And he was a professional soccer player.
Yep. What a stud story. I love it. Brandon Aubrey.
Yeah, Brandon Aubrey. Love it. And the way he
kicks is unique from all the other players because
it's like, you know, every... kicker has kind
of a wind -up and wha -bam! And then it just
goes. It's like a place kicker. He's amazing.
It's just like every time he kicks it, it's not
like he's punting it or he doesn't have that
long wind -up. It's just like a place kicker
from the corner. And every time, it goes straight,
it wiggles to the right, and then it goes left
again. Every single time. So there's no question
I think he's going to be the first kicker that
breaks the 70 -yard mark. But it has to be a
perfect situation, right? Because they're not
going to do it in a tie game, you know, where
if he misses, they have amazing field position.
It has to be at the end of the half. Didn't they
give him a chance last year at 70 and he missed?
No, they were going to, and they opted to punt.
Oh, did they? So it has to be at the end of the
first half with less than three seconds so that
there's no danger of them getting an opposing
field goal. Well, they could run it back if they
catch it, if he's short. That too. But I do think
he's going to be the first guy that hits the
70 yards. He's got to. He's good. He's excellent.
He made the difference in the game because we
knew that he was going to make it. And I was
thinking, what if he doesn't? Jesus. But the
whole game, going into overtime, I mean, it was
a great game to watch. I was happy to see it.
And I was surprised to see the Giants do so well.
That's why I'm questioning. We really don't know
how good the Cowboys are right now, I think,
is what I'm thinking. It was a good game. Dak
looked good. Dak really looked good. The first
game, Dak looked good there. His numbers are
poor, but he was hitting his throws. In this
game, he was hitting them, too, and they were
still dropping them, but at least they caught
some of them. They were bouncing off people's
hands. Who do they play next? The Giants or the
Cowboys? The Cowboys. Oh, okay. No, I was going
to say the Giants have the Chiefs. And the Chargers
next. So they might be 0 -4 real quick. Well,
the poor Chiefs are 0 -2. I shouldn't have said
poor. The Chiefs are 0 -2. The Chiefs are 0 -2.
They've played some tough. That's crazy. Some
tough teams, too. But the Cowboys have the Bears.
The Bears. And in fact, oh, yeah, I saw this.
The Bears are favored by one. It's in Soldier
Field in Chicago. And I'm like, how the hell
are the Bears favored by one? They're like 0
-2 right now. Get the hell out of here. Yeah,
but they're playing pretty good ball, too. No,
they're not. They're not? No. They're putting
up some points, aren't they? Their quarterback
is terrible. Talking about Caleb Williams? Caleb
Williams. Yes. He's a weird dude. He's a very
weird dude. Show me the scores on their last
two games. I think they're putting up points.
Are they not? I'll tell you what. Also, the running
back for the Cowboys, Javante Williams, he had
some pretty powerful runs. I'm kind of wanting
the second string. Pacer, what is his name? Great.
The Bears lost to the Vikings and the Lions.
Both respectable teams. 27 -24 and 52 -21. Dude,
they got the shit kicked out of them by Detroit.
Detroit's scary, man. And the Vikings got to
figure out their quarterback. Is McCarthy not
playing well? No, he's not. I watched some of
that. So I'm happy. Remember, I was facing Justin
Jefferson or Gibbs. And I passed on Jefferson
and I went with Gibbs. And I've been worrying
that I made a massive mistake. But apparently
if McCarthy can't throw it to Justin Jefferson,
then I'm in good shape, right? Right. But it
doesn't matter now. But I don't know. He probably
does have good numbers. I don't know. So I picked
up one of my last -ditch efforts in the draft.
I picked up the third string, Jaden Blue from
the Dallas Cowboys. And I was hoping that Miles
Sanders would flop because he fumbled in that
first game for the Cowboys. And he gets dropped
down the – I was hoping because he's fast. He's
definitely faster. Interesting. Now you take
these gambles. Oh, I know. I had a couple. I
have a couple gambles. I picked up the running
back that was at Texas Tech, Taj Brooks, who
was really good in college, but he's not really
getting any touches right now. Yeah. So I see
that Skibo, what's his name? Skadaboo. Skadaboo.
Skadaboo got his first touchdown, which is cool
to see. He's hard -nosed. That kid's a monster,
man. I hope he does really well in the NFL. He's
one of those guys, kind of like a Mike Allstatt.
I don't know if he's big. Mike Allstatt's not
big. I mean, he's short and thick. The fullback
from Tampa Bay. Remember that guy with the shoulder
pads? Looked like a frickin' block. He looked
like Brock Lesnar out there. Yeah. I mean, he
would just bowl over these guys. I hope he does
well. I think he's going to be a fun story. Isn't
he the all -time college rusher? Who, Scadaboo?
Yeah, he has a massive, for his school maybe,
I don't know. Oh, maybe for his school. He has
a massive number of yards. I think you're talking
about Ashton Gentry from the Raiders. No, I'm
thinking of Scadaboo. They said something about
records that he has for rushing in college. For
Arizona State? I don't know, because he just
had a ton. I know that. What is Ashton Gentry
doing? Has he done much of anything? I watched
him a little bit last night, and he spared me
to death. He couldn't pick up a block. He was
not getting free, although he had maybe one good
run or something like that. Let's see if I can
find some sports reference on Scataboo. You know,
this whole college, I'm sorry, the whole football
thing, it just reminds me of the football in
high school. You know, it just, the whole...
Actually, it's the season of October, but, I
mean, when you think about football, I mean,
I go back, it brings me back to, like, even when
the kids are in school, you know? Yeah. Going
to their games. You know, I just, I miss those
times. Oh, the FFL? The Frisco Football League?
That, and you can go farther back to some of
the pep rallies that we went to as kids, you
know? I was going to ask you guys, so, yeah,
talk about your football experiences in high
school. In high school. I didn't play football
in high school. No, just the school. Oh, we...
You were in Ohio. I was in Ohio. Come September,
it was cool up there. It's not like down here.
Right. Now, you could still have some heat come
through, but in September, fall would hit, right?
Yeah. Drastic weather changes and shit like that.
I was in the band. I was a band dork. I played
the percussion, and we've already talked about
that. What did you play? Was it the triangle?
I played, yes. Wasn't that part of the percussion?
The maraca? Was it the maraca? I played the marching
timpani. No, the maracas are... Marching timpani.
Yeah, I picked three big kettle drums. You were
a very strong mofo. Oh, dude. He was very impressive.
Anytime they would play the meaning of the Lion
King. Yeah, but marching timpanis. I'm trying
to imagine the weight you were carrying around.
Very impressive. Yeah. All right. Anyway. What
about football there? Football, it was big, right?
Ohio football is actually big. Huge. Not quite
as big as Texas. but it's actually a really big
thing up there in Ohio as well. And we had some
mediocre teams. Yeah, but what pep rallies? Yeah,
we had the standard pep rallies because I was
a band, so we'd play, right? So the pep band
and all that bullshit. So in the auditorium,
you had your pep rallies where the school would
all show up? I mean, were you excited doing it?
No, because I had to play. Yeah, you were like,
were you up there? Yes, that's exactly how it
was. I took up like eight yards. I was picturing
him with a little ding, ding. Or maybe the cymbals.
The marching timpani. So were you up there with
like three or four guys and you had your own
thing going on? No, we had the, well. You didn't
get into it though? Well, yeah, we had fun. Apparently
not. We had fun, but you know, it's, you know.
I remember it didn't stand out too much. Did
they do homecoming and did they do mums? Of course
we did. No. Mums was not a thing. It's a Texas
thing. Is that what it is? Yes. I still don't
understand mums. It's ridiculous. It is the stupidest
thing. They're like $200 wear it for five minute
moments. It's stupid. I think it's stupid. It
totally is stupid. And I think the whole This
wasn't a thing either where you ask. Look at
those moms. That's ridiculous. Look at that.
It's unbelievable. I also think it's ridiculous
where when you ask someone to homecoming, you
have to come up with this elaborate presentation.
Yes. The reveal. Whatever. I'm like, just ask
the girl. Yeah. No. It has to be. Why? Everything
nowadays. Gender reveal. Homecoming reveal. Engagement
reveal. Everything has to be a social media.
Sexual orientation reveal. Yep. Yes. Everything
has to be a social media event. Yeah. That's
stupid. Take all that shit out. Me too. You know
what I'd like? I'd like for them to get dump
TikTok. Fuck it. It's about to be an American
company. Yeah. Well, they got to get rid of all
the spyware, but outside of that, you know. Well,
what about you, Sean? So your high school days
were where? So Germany and New Jersey and El
Paso. So, you know, go Monheim Bisons. You know,
I was in the marching band and I was like, little
trombone action. Yeah. American football. Was
it rusty? Yeah. American football in Germany.
Oh, yeah. And you played other bases? Like who
played who? You know what? I don't really recall.
I remember I was out on the field, and I was
in the marching band. I'm amazed that they had
American football for your high school in Germany.
It was just a scrimmage with each other every
week. Intra -squad. Well, they had other bases.
Maybe it was guys from other bases. I don't know.
I never really thought about it. Maybe the German
schools had American football. No, they had soccer.
I would be shocked, but okay. Yeah, I don't know.
And who knows? Maybe it wasn't even fucking football.
Maybe it was soccer. You were too stoned to know.
No, it wasn't back then I was doing that. Are
you saying it was lacrosse? It could be volleyball.
It was cricket. I didn't do a whole lot of participating
in, God bless it, in New Jersey. Actually, that's
not true. I did. In junior high in New Jersey,
I did the marching band. And I was talking about,
I think I brought this up, my biology or chemistry
teacher in junior high was the marching band
in high school, the instructor. And I don't know,
I was going through some hard times, whatever
it was, it doesn't really matter. I told him
to go fuck himself. No, I didn't say go fuck
yourself. What I said was, fuck you. Because
he was kind of... beat me up and I was just like
fuck you and he was like get out Murph you know
I was like okay well I got out and then uh Whatever.
We never really talked about it again. But when
I started the next year, and I was doing a marching
band, and he was the instructor, I was like,
great. And he was like, I want to point out this
guy right here, Sean. You know what? He told
me to go fuck myself in front of the whole class.
And everyone was like, ooh. But it kind of broke
the ice a little bit. It kind of let me know,
hey, man, he doesn't think. It was kind of cool.
It was a cool moment. But at the same time, it
was one of those moments. It was a learning moment.
I was kind of like, all right, well, you know
what? Maybe I shouldn't do that. You're like,
I'm going to do it again. As a matter of fact,
I'm going to tell every teacher to fuck himself.
There are a lot of good teachers out there, regardless
whether you're a dipshit or not with the whole
politics stuff. Teachers are selfless, man. What
they deal with, selfless. But what football in
New Jersey? I don't remember the football again,
but I remember in high school in El Paso, I went
to Austin High School in El Paso, Texas. in Austin
High School. But what about the football? I wasn't
in the marching band there either. I was just
more like part of the... So it wasn't a big deal.
Yeah, I mean, we had all the games and we had
fun, but I don't really remember it. No, I wasn't
stoned either back then, but it was just like...
I didn't start that to my 20s, really. But it
was like more... And you were still in high school,
though. Yeah. Oh. But it was like... I remember
for the homecoming, they have the drawing of
the... The king, the queen. It was a rose. Yeah,
I remember. If you open it up, it's a rose, a
red rose. It's queen and queen. It is these days.
Not then, but back then, I remember I won one
of them. I don't recall what it was. What? It
was king and then whatever. Jester? Three tears.
No, I wasn't a jester. You know, but it was weird.
Oh, that's right, man. I was dating this girl.
Her name was Gwendolyn Hall. Shout out to Gwendolyn.
We're the Wendy Hall, wherever the fuck you are
nowadays. But she was a blonde -haired, blue
-eyed, pretty chick. She was kind of tubby back
then. I mean, I didn't really look at her. I
imagine now she's kind of a blunt, but she broke
up with me hardcore right before the homecoming,
right? And what happened is that we both won.
And we both went up there and we had to stand
next to each other. And I remember how uncomfortable
it was. And you were like, hey, that's poor timing.
And B, how early in the year was homecoming that
you're just already broken up for the rest of
the year? That's high school. It happens all
the time. I don't know. That was a long time
ago. And it wasn't really that invested. Actually,
I was really upset at the time. I was really
devastated, actually, because I didn't really
have a whole lot of girlfriends back then. Were
you wearing your Speedo? Actually, I did have
a Speedo back then. Interesting. You were a swimmer,
right? Yeah. And you were standing up there.
You're like, you know, congratulations, bitch.
Fuck you, dick. I didn't care, dude. Just back
and forth. It wasn't like that at all. In fact,
you know. Did you smack her? No. On the butt?
What the heck? Dude, look, man. Back then, it
was weird. It was a weird culture for me because
I was, look, this is going to sound kind of crazy,
but I'm going to say it. I don't care. Fuck.
I was white. You still are. I was white, and
I was living in El Paso with a bunch of Hispanic
folks out there. And for some reason, I don't
know if it was because I was white. I don't know
what the deal was, but the Hispanic women loved
me. Maybe it was because I was in super good
shape because I was a swimmer. It's just because
you look different. Well, I absolutely looked
different back then. Of course. I mean, I was
good looking back then. No, I just mean you were
white. But my point is that I was in a bubble.
Because I was really lucky back then. I just
had a whole series of girls that I just... One
after another. So you say you were white. So
what do you identify as now? No, no. I didn't
say I was white. I just said I was... I was white.
Past tense. I was white. Yeah. Well, I misspoke.
So you're still white. Yeah, I'm still white.
Okay. Well, that's... As you said, you even said,
this is going to sound weird. I was white. No.
Well, I mean... I'm just saying that's why I
think that a lot of these girls liked me back
then. I don't know. I know what you mean. I know
what you mean. You know, whatever. It's not right.
I don't give a shit. You know, I am racist about
certain things. But, you know, back then, it
was just all about fun. And, yeah, that girl
broke my heart. But, you know, after that, just
the cards started happening. Oh, yeah. You became
Cruz. Sean Cruz. There was a whole lineup. I
mean, I lived life, and then I moved up to Dallas,
and I was humbled. Because it's a completely
different culture. Because you weren't big man
on campus anymore? Hell no. I mean, I still,
but here's the thing. I still thought I was big
man on campus. Yeah. That's how I scored my wife.
It wasn't because of my looks. It was because
of my attitude. Oh, you're confident. Yeah. I
was still confident, but she was kind of like,
why are you so confident? You've got nothing
here. She's still like that. She is. And you're
like, I was white, bitch. Crazy. But you know
what? There's a lot of good memories. I remember
the very first year that we went to signing up
for my freshman class in Austin High School,
and you go through the tribulations of picking
your classes, and you wait in this long line,
and there's people selling these little... tickets.
These red tickets. What do they call them? Raffle
tickets. Get a buck. What is the buck for? Well,
during your class, you give this to your teacher
and you can go up to the tower where they have
the bell. And then you can stay up there for
the rest of the class and then you come back
down and you're done. What the hell? I was like,
I'll buy two. And so I'm giving this guy money.
And it was a total sham. Oh, yeah. Yeah. And
they were going down the line and selling it
to all the dumb white kids, you know? You are
so. Did you go up to the teacher and she's like.
Yeah, it's a scam. It didn't get that far, but
by the time the guy had walked off around the
corner, some of the guys, you know, that's not
right. That's not real, right? I was just like,
what? What do you mean? It's like, you really
think you're going to get out of class and go
up to the bell? They don't let anybody up there.
Because then they had a big tower up there. It's
so stupid. It's a faculty fundraiser. Yeah. Really?
It's probably what it was. It's probably a beer
fund. Oh, my God. Beer fund me. Well, Paul, you
asked everybody, did you play football? I did
not play football. So I'm the only one. You want
to hear the sad story about this one? So I started,
I went to Houston when I was a freshman, and
I wanted to try out for the football team. I
thought I could have been a pretty good receiver.
Whatever. Still are. My mom goes, oh, but Paul,
you won't be able to hear the plays. Damn. And
I was like, oh, I guess you're right, Mom. And
I never even tried out. And how many receivers
even hear the plays? You watch the ball, right?
Right. What if he calls an audible? How fucking
stupid, right? And you're doing your. That he
does a sign. Right. Yeah. They would have. So
he gets their look out. But the problem is I
don't know sign language. Do sign language. Yeah.
Oh. So yeah, there's the problem. So I ended
up playing the timpanis for the marching band.
I think for what it's worth, I think you would
have been an incredible tight end. Thank you.
I'm very uncomfortable right now. No, really,
that's a sad story. Would you rather be a whiteout?
It's amazing the power, just the simple, in -the
-moment power that can crush, not a dream. Then
you say, Mom, you ruined my life. I should, but
it's too late now. But isn't that crazy? A simple
word of encouragement or a simple word of discouragement
can have such a huge impact. Yeah, it should
have been. I'm not going to second -guess or
anything like that, but it's like, go for it,
and if it doesn't work out, it doesn't work out.
Every parent who's listening right now, if you
have young kids, encourage them, man. It doesn't
matter. Yeah, but what happened, I mean, look,
the path you took is the path you took. But what
happens if you were to try out for the team and
you make it and then you suck so bad that you
sit the bench all the time. And I'm crushed.
You're crushed. And frankly, it'll stunt your
growth, your emotional growth. I mean, I hear
what you're saying. It can hinder your pride,
and it may inhibit you from being successful
in the future. Yeah, but let's think about life
lessons. You are supposed to try, try, try. You're
going to fail. You get up and try again. Life
is about failing and conquering your fears and
trying again until you make it. It's like getting
a relationship at a church. What? I'm sorry.
I was trying to fit that in there, but it didn't
work. No, that doesn't really fit in there. Anyway,
to finish my story, so football was huge at our
school. We actually, as a freshman, this was
new to me. We had Cy Fair. Yes, and I had been
overseas my whole life. I had no idea. I knew
about the Denver Broncos and the NFL, but we
never watched football. I mean, we were only
in the States during the summer, so I never watched
a football game before. I think we had a Super
Bowl cassette tape from like one of the years,
right? So that was the closest we got to football.
Anyway, we get there and we went to State. Yeah.
And it was super cool. And guess who we played
on our way to State was Odessa Permian. Oh, those
guys are like badass. Here's our little school.
And we traveled to Longview, maybe. Where is
Odessa getting all these players? Right. So our
band came in. And you know how they bring in
the bands and they walk around. And then our
band came in and set up. And then Odessa's band
started coming in. The band. And they came in
and they rapped all the way around. Because there
were just so freaking many of them. Odessa. That's
like in the middle of nowhere, man. Dude. It's
crazy. It is nothing but football. It's like
they have nothing to do out there. Correct. Have
you seen Friday Night Lights? Friday Night Lights.
Yeah. Brilliant show, by the way. And movie.
If you haven't seen it, and movie. If you haven't
seen it, you've got to watch that show. Anyway,
that's all they had, and they were damn good.
Yep. They crushed us. But anyway, it was awesome.
It was a new experience for me. I was like, these
pep rallies were cool. The games were cool. We
traveled to the games as a family. Yeah, we did
do that. I mean, it was really neat. Yeah, we
did do that. I loved it. Football, like I said,
Ohio, football's big, but it's not like it is
down here in Texas. You know. My parents wouldn't.
They went to all the home games. Yeah. They necessarily
wouldn't go to the away games. Yeah. We did.
It was fun. Yeah. And I didn't, like I said,
I didn't try out for football. I tried out for
basketball. I tried out for basketball. And basketball
tryouts, if you didn't make it, it was too late.
This was what sucked. I wanted to be in marching
band. If I didn't make basketball, I wanted to
be in marching band. I didn't make basketball.
And it was too late to be in marching band. Because
I had tried out for basketball. So you're just
like, I'm stuck. No. So I was in the band, but
not in the marching band. So you're like on the
sideline? No. I just, I wasn't, I didn't get
to go to games. It's kind of like orchestra.
Yes. And I would go to performances. I played
timpanis. I know that's funny, but I mean, like
I'm joking, but I did. I played the timpanis.
Boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom. And you go,
boom. Your mom said. Boom. You're not going to
be able to hear the plays, but you're going to
play music. Yeah. Right? Oh, awful. I would be
Justin Jefferson right now. You could be. Chuck,
give us the two -minute spiel on your football
program. Two -minute spiel? Okay, so I was in
band, and then between sophomore and junior year,
somebody said, you're big enough, you should
play football. And I'm like, yeah, I kind of
am. Thank you. I'm going to go tear some people
up. Yeah, I tried out, and I'm like, I had not
a clue. Not a clue how to play this game. In
high school, you tried out? Yeah. You didn't
play middle school ball? No. Or peewee ball?
Nope. Oh, God. Nope. Junior year, high school,
show up. Who's this guy? Oh, that's just Charlie
over there. Did you do good? Well, I mean, being
a junior on the JV team, you're kind of one of
the biggest kids. So, yeah, they're going to
put you in the game. Right? What position? tackle
missionary tackle on both sides okay yeah so
just a big old lineman big old dope i'd learn
it i'd learn it like on the fly and i was still
in band at the time So you had to put your tuba
on and tear off your pads and run out there?
Put your tuba on. The good news was JV. I was
going to quit, but my band director goes, are
you on JV? I go, yeah. Well, you can do JV football
on Thursday and March on Friday. We still got
a spot for you. And so I did both. Nice. Oh,
my God. You were busy. I was busy. So did you
get in the marching band with your football outfit
on? No, I'm saying they play different days,
so I didn't have to worry about that shit. Were
you getting all the chicks? Oh, God, yeah. Really?
The band chicks and the football chicks. To start,
yeah. So I did that, and then I played varsity
as a senior, and I didn't play much second string,
but in the last game, that was kind of fun. It
was a cold game. It was snowing. Oh, dude. They're
like, we're not making the playoffs, so throw
Lamping in there. You go out there for, talk
about cold football games. Good Lord. So they
threw you in there, and what happened? They threw
me in there, and I tore it up. And they're watching
the film on Monday, and they're like, Lamping,
where'd this come from? I'm like, I finally figured
out the game. I don't know. You're like, I could
have been on varsity all along. No, we had a
pretty good team. I think we were one tie away
from making the playoffs, right? So we were 7
-2 -1, and the other teams were like 8 -2, and
so we didn't qualify for the playoffs, so we
got to stay home. But we were pretty good. I
think I was on coverage. I was on the extra point
team and that sort of stuff. But, man, and they'd
always pair me up. With this guy, JR, he's a
big black guy. And you have this barrel carry
that you have to carry him over your shoulder.
And nobody else could carry him. And I'm like,
why do I have to carry you, man? Because you're
the only one that could. I'm the only one that
could, apparently, yeah. He's like, don't worry
about it. I'll help. I'm like, I don't know how
you're going to help, but OK. Nice. Anyway. So
you went to homecoming. I did not go to homecoming.
You did not. I'd go to homecoming. They would
have a dance afterwards. Oh, you went? And stuff
like that. Oh, yeah. Did you take a date? A couple
times. Really? What was his name? It was Bruce.
Hey, Bruce. But, you know, typically it was just
you go with your buddies, and the guys would
stand in a group, the girls would be a stand
-in group, and then they'd play Lionel Richie,
Endless Love. Is that the first dance you remember?
My love, there's only you. In my life. And then
you go, endless love. Endless love. Dude, I remember
the first dance. Did you go find a girl at the
desk at a dance? And you hope she says yes. That
was way later. That was in 85, 6, 7, right? Hello?
Yeah. I'm just throwing out something. So the
first dance I ever went to was in Germany. And
the chick's name was Nadie Perez. And I have
no idea. It was like, do you want to go to the
dance? It happened that day. Brady Perez? N -A
-D -Y. Navy. You want to go? Yeah, I'd love to,
Sean. Yeah, well, I mean, I went there, and you
know what? The thing is, just like Jeff said,
you go with a bunch of buddies, and you know,
who'd you come with? The Navy? Oh, really? Wow,
that's awesome. And so, you know what? Where
is she? Oh, she's way over there. Oh, she's way
over there, and we're running around like a bunch
of fools doing our little thing, and then finally
the song comes on. We're so immature. Journey,
Open Arms. Oh, yeah. All right. So how old were
you? What grade were you in? 12, 13. So this
was, yeah, 5th grade? Maybe 6th, 7th grade. Middle
school. Middle school dances were great. Oh,
yeah. But I remember. Oh, yeah, man. Because
you were full boning it at that age. Yeah, but
your arms were fully extended. Because if you
put... What were you? I'm just now catching that.
You were full boning it? Yeah, at that age. Yes,
you just like brush up against the girl. Is that
why they wanted two feet? Yes, you have to stand
back because the tent is pitched. And you're
like, did she mean to brush it? Excuse me, Jeff,
what is that? Did you spill your punch? What
is that wet spot? But it was. Wasn't it hands
on hips, fully extended? And you'd go in a circle.
Right. They didn't really do that. I don't remember.
Actually, I don't remember. That's what we did.
It was a really long time ago, but I just remember
it. It was the first one, and I actually looked
up a Nadie Perez, but there's a gazillion of
them. Just kind of like - You wanted to reminisce?
When she brushed you? Dude, it was a one and
done. I mean, I talked to her that day and that
dance, and I don't think I spoke with her the
rest of the time. Yeah. It was a one and done
because I was way too young. Didn't understand
it. What's amazing about that age is when you
had a crush on a girl, those feelings were so
raw. Oh, yeah. And they were so real. And I can
remember those feelings even now. If they weren't
reciprocated, you were crushed. Yes. And if they
were, it was even more unbelievable. Right. And
we were, what, 12? Oh, yeah. 13 years old. You're
going steady. Shut up, Mom. Get out of my wackatorium.
I don't remember ever saying that to my mom.
Yeah, me neither. Yeah. Did you do it silently?
First off, I didn't have a phone. Okay. Wow.
Thank you, Sean, for leading me there. What a
dick. Let's see. Anyway, yeah, those, I mean,
your first crushes and your first girlfriend
and your first kiss and those first dance, they
were intense, man. They were. In middle school.
It was crazy shit. I'm embarrassed to tell you
about my first blowjob. Oh. We don't need to
know. We don't. Yeah. It was who from. No, you
mean who to. You mean who to? Who from. Oh, gross.
I remember the first blood job I gave her. Was
she Vietnamese? Who from? She was like 10 years
older than me. Oh, come on. No, we don't need
to hear this story. And your teacher? We do not
need to hear this story. Anyway. Me and Mrs.
Jones. Did we... Oh, no. We need to talk about
this non -burbon. So this one is interesting.
First of all, this is one of the newest categories
in the whiskey world in the United States. And
it's a single malt whiskey. It's not a scotch
because it's not Maine Scotland. But this one
doesn't have the smoked peat that you typically
would find in scotches. This one just has...
The normal way they make it, through the casks.
I don't really know all the processes. And then
they age it. I don't know if it has to be a new
oak. It says new charred American oak barrel.
At least four years. But it's malted barley.
Right. So there's another company that... does
a lot of the single malts. Balcones. The Balcones,
right? And they've done a crazy job with theirs
where theirs doesn't taste like this. You know,
they've got a very unique, their stuff is very
unique. Right. And it's not bad, but I don't
necessarily want to say it's great either. You
know, some of it's great. I think this is more,
when you think of a single malt, I think of this.
Correct. Now, there's another one I want to introduce
that's been in my closet, kind of like the advent
calendar. I'm going to bring over an advent calendar
for like seven weeks. And it's called Baller.
But this one, this one's Yellowstone. It's hand
-picked collection. Jeff picked this up out.
This is from the advent calendar from Kentucky.
Yeah, we went to the distillery. I picked this
one up. There's one other we already had, and
then this one. And I believe it's distillery
only. That's what I tried to snag when I was
up there. The code is SM032. So if you're trying
to find this out on the Internet, you just type
in Yellowstone Single Malt SM032, and you probably
won't find Jack's shit. But if you type in before
that what are the tasting notes, it'll populate
some links and stuff that you can find for it.
This, in my opinion, in its own category, is
a winner for me. I'm enjoying the hell out of
this. Yeah, I really like this. I'm really enjoying
single malts, period. I know. This is great.
I know. So I will say, for what it is, it's very
unique compared to what we've been drinking.
If I put it up against some really full -flavored,
rich bourbons, I'll still lean that way. Yeah.
Like, this would not be more pleasant for me
to drink than those, but it's not unpleasant
at all. All right, so let me just start with
that. It's different. And you know what? We can
appreciate different. Oh, yeah. I think as—how
long have we been doing this? Six years drinking
these different bourbons? Our palate has definitely
evolved quite a bit. And I think this is something—I
think we should buy more of these. Our rare characters
are single malts. Yeah. And we have this one,
I think one or two others out there that we get.
So what is a single malt? It's 100 % barley.
It's one grain. Single malt malted barley. Yeah,
it's one grain, right? Made from 100 % malted
barley. According to this, it needs at least
four years. What I mentioned earlier at the beginning
of the podcast, I was picking up sugar cookie
in this. Yeah, okay. Because there's some sweetness
and just whatever that flavor of sugar cookie
is. So it's like a cereal, kind of a Cheerios,
like a nutter butter. What is the Cheerio nut?
Honey Nut Cheerio. Honey Nut Cheerio. That's
kind of what I'm thinking. I could get some of
that. I can get that. I could totally get that.
Yeah, it's fun to drink. I mean, it's got a lot
of different type of sweet flavors, but it also
has got a little bit of growl on the finish.
Yeah. This is fantastic. For what it is, this
is going to score very high for me. It's 110
proof. Yeah. Yeah, that's nice too. Yeah. Does
it drink real hot? No. Very honey. But it's not
too soft to be too sweet. Does that make sense?
Like if it were this sweet on the palate and
on the nose and the palate and then it finished
sweet, it would almost be like. Yeah, there's
something going on in the finish that there's
some spices or something. That keeps it. A little
cinnamon on the tail end. That keeps it from
being too like. Too light, because it's not that
light in the finish. Yeah, there's not a lot
of information out there on the interwebs about
this. And, you know, it's talk, actually, what
it's coming back with is a lot of things we just
said, right? It says, one reviewer noted a powerful
fig note. Fig. Fig. Oh, I like that. Fig Newton.
Fig Newton. No, it does. It's kind of that, the
really. Chewy. Chewy. Fig forward slash raisin.
But it's not quite raisin. It's more fig than
raisin. It's so funny how you said, Sean, earlier,
like is when you hear what people say or you
read what people say and then you're like, yeah,
I get that. The power of suggestion is so strong.
But now that you say it, absolutely. I smell
Fig Newton. Fig Newton. Is it Newton? Yeah. Fig
Newton. N -E -W -T -O -N. Newton. Newton. This
is really good. It's enjoyable. Yeah, very excited
about this one. This is one of our last ones.
We got one or two more out there, I think. But
that's it. Man, it's hard to... Usually what
I try to do when I rate one is compare it to
something similar. We don't really have anything
similar to this, do we? Not in this proof. Like
I said, we've got the rare characters, but those
are, what, 130 -something proof? Not all of them.
I mean, I've got one that's 105 that I'm going
to be bringing out, which is fabulous. I'm talking
about these over here. The one out there? No,
those are all hot. Those are 120 -plus. Yeah,
so I'm just saying, historically, we have not
a lot to compare to. So this is going to be interesting.
All right, who wants to start with the rating?
I'll tell you what. I'll start it out. This is
the Yellowstone hand -picked collection for the
single malt. This is category SM32, 110 proof.
I'm going to rank this an 8. That was right there
as well. I was going to go 7 .5. Yeah. Which
is great. That's a great rating. Yeah, and I'm
curious to see as we buy more single malts. how
it compares to this. Because we may come back
in a year after we have, you know, five, six,
seven of these things and go, yeah, that Yellowstone
wasn't as good as I thought or as was actually
better than. Like these other ones are amazing
compared to that. Or that was as good as we thought.
I'm pretty sure this is going to hold its own.
Right. Against comparable. I think so because
I think we know what we like and what we don't
like where it's like, yeah, that's like that
blood oath. We're just like, eh. Yeah, even if
we have nothing to compare it to, we know it
wasn't enjoyable. Right. Right. Williamsburg
or something. The old Williamsburg. Poor old
Williamsburg. What was the other one? Brokeback?
Not Brokeback. All of them. Backbeat? Backdoor.
Oh, and Backdoor. Backdoor. Paul. What? You know
what? It's kind of crazy, though, because some
of the ones that Paul picked back then, even
though we didn't like them back then, I guarantee
it, if we were to, except for the Williamsburg,
if we were to retaste those, we'd probably have
a different opinion on them now. I appreciate
you saying that, but the reality is you guys
pick bad ones, too. We just have never— I don't
understand. Yeah, I do. That doesn't make sense
to me. Yeah, you either, but I would say that
you guys did pick some bad ones when we were
all picking $35 bourbons. Oh, we did. We all
picked them. You just had a big string of them.
Oh, my God. Yeah, like all of them. All right,
that's it. The next podcast, we're doing nothing
above $35, and it has to be yours, Jeff, and
yours, Sean. Is that $35 each? For $35. We'll
pick one of the really old ones out here. Let's
do it. And they have to be the original round
of purchase. Do we have a foolproof benchmark
out there? That doesn't count. No. Why not? It's
under $35. That wasn't what we picked in the
beginning. No, it wasn't. We have to pick early
ones. Yeah. That'll be a good adventure. That
means we jump on the nine -banded wagon. No.
No, it has to be. That was like one of the newest.
No, that was more expensive. We have to do a
shitty old one. Are you kidding me? That's like
40 bucks back then. I'm just saying, shitty old
one that was really cheap, and we'll also do
canned meat. Canned meat. No. No? I'm doing good
trimming my calories. Look at you. It's got to
keep it up, man. It's got to keep it up. I'm
worried. Now that I hurt my knee, I can't play
basketball. What did he say about his knee? He
said there was no ligament damage that he could
tell. Let's wait two weeks. He gave me a steroid
injection in the knee. He said it's arthritic
inflammation. And I'm like, it's popping in really
weird ways. I don't think that's arthritis. I
don't know. I mean, how can arthritis suddenly
make your knee start popping differently? You
know he walked out of the door gone. This motherfucker
didn't even know Animal House. You're probably
right. He's like, fuck you. Stupid podcast. What
it is? What it is? Yeah, he'll be like, I'm going
to string this motherfucker up. What a maroon.
I'm going to have him come through eight visits
before I send him to an MRI. All right. Well,
tell you what, guys. We have, if you want to
pick up some t -shirts for the Dudes Like Us
podcast, we're going to have those available
through Murph Logo. M -U -R -F logo. I'm going
to post that on one of the upcoming things. Preston's
made a few t -shirts. Nice. Actually, it's got
some... He's going to be making that one right
there with the logo with the official one that
Chuck made. Remember the guy with the porn stash?
And with no shirt on. Oh, the one I made. Oh,
dude. That is a horrible idea. It is fantastic.
And you know what? We were making them. He's
making a batch right now, but I'm going to have
him remake it because this is a double X and
it's almost a little sausage -y, so I think I'm
going to go one. Who's making these? Preston.
Yeah, he opened up. He started to do t -shirts.
What? I didn't know this. It's fairly new. It's
working out for them. Very nice. All right, well,
guys, look, it's September 16th. It's Tuesday.
Chuck, thank you. I was always staying on top
of shit. Ooh, man, it's a long day for you. Yeah,
it is. So Jeff has to, you know, he gets up at
5 o 'clock in the morning, and it's late at night.
It's quarter to 10 right now. Yeah, it's past
my bedtime at this point. Mine, too. Well, dudes
like us, I'm Sean. I am Paul. And I'm Jeff. We'll
see you next week.