Are we live? We're live. Are we live? We are live. Live 24 7. Oh my god. 24 7. Yeah,
we're always here. I didn't know that. I'm not. There are a few moments where I'm not
here. So ladies and gentlemen, this is the last podcast of May 2021. May. Can you believe
it? Oh my uh my anniversary. No, there's a there's a Tuesday next week. It's coming
up. And that's the first. No. Wow, that was abrupt. Yeah, Monday's the 31st. Oh, you're
correct. It is the 31st on Monday. You're right. Damn, man. Yeah, June is like, damn,
this year's flying. It is. We're almost halfway through. We're old. It's the way it is. My
dad said that. Time flies. Every year that passes, it goes faster. Faster. Faster. Faster.
I think because you don't have the breaks like you did when you were a kid. I think
that's one factor. Yeah. Well, I also think it's because we like when we're a kid, we
have to do whatever we want. We don't have to be here. We don't have to be there. Time
goes slower when it's on your schedule. We have the same job doing the same thing every
day blends into the next. Rinse, repeat. Yeah, it's Groundhog Day for old people. It is.
I like Groundhog Day. It's about to experience that. All our kids are. I know. Yeah, producer
graduated. I know. Congratulations, Mr. Producer, for your graduation. Yeah. How was the ceremony?
Well, it was indoors, which I didn't know. In fact, I feel kind of stupid because I was
a little seasoned during your birthday party this past weekend. And I'll speak to somebody's
wife, Randy's wife, I believe. And I was like, yeah, I need to bring an umbrella in case
it rains. And if it doesn't rain, at least I'll have it for the sun. And she was like,
it's going to be at the Star Center. And it didn't register when she said that. I was
thinking the soccer field. You're sitting at the Star Center with your umbrella. I believe
it right now. No, no. But but the point I'm saying you probably cornstarch to crotch in
the whole nine years. I didn't understand what she didn't understand. That was what
the deal is. I was kind of like, I don't understand why you're not getting this because, you know,
they graduated from the soccer field last year. What was that stadium called? And we
were under. Oh, no, yeah, we were under umbrellas. Yeah, it was hot. It was effing hot. Yeah,
toasty. So I thought that's where we were going the whole time. And then finally, um,
Sarah was like, no, it's at the it's enclosed. It's at the Star Center. You idiot. Right.
And I was like, oh, and then you know how you get those O's and you're like, oh, oh,
oh, that's why. Oh. And then you just like a total idiot. That conversation made sense,
right? Yeah. And then I understand why, you know, did they have any musical acts or anything?
The Jovey or the band? So they had some pre recorded stuff. So the valedictorian, I don't
know their names, but you know, they were up there. Everything was pre recorded, which
is kind of cool. Made things a lot more simple than he go out of line or anything. You know
what? Here's a here's a hot opinion I could do without the valedictorian speech. Well,
you know what? It's it's you can name the person and say they are the top and here's
the second top salutarian or whatever they are. But I'm not interested. Yeah, I get it.
And you know what? Then there's also a guest person that comes and gives his inspiration
and her her inspirational remarks. You know, I think so. My oldest son graduated from Arkansas
and we were in the Arkansas basketball arena. Same type of deal. And so here's the dude,
you know, the dean of whatever, right? He's up there talking the whole time, introducing
everybody on the stage, having some words for the blah, blah, blah for the for the graduates.
And then he says, you know, we're due to covid. We don't have a speaker today. So we're going
to do a montage of of inspirational quotes from former speakers. And so they play this
video of Trey Gowdy. No, of just, you know, all these different people from all these
different years saying like, you know, snippets, right? And I'm thinking you're up there talking
the whole time. Well, that's what I don't get. I mean, this person's up there by themselves
talking the whole time, fairly distanced, and they could bring their own microphone
condom up there, change it, pull it off when you're done. You know what? I'm getting tired
of being in situations where I'm like, oh, really? Oh, that, that about covid. You know
what I mean? Right. And I get I think more than more and more of this that's coming out
with the covid with the Fauci. Oh, dude, they're making like major about faces on stuff, man.
There's now they're saying, I don't know what news is right. Without Fauci, they're saying
that that this is all a farce. Yeah. And that this was a this was not a farce as far as
they're saying this was a planned attack. Yeah. They're saying we're going to take out.
So the mainstream media hasn't gone that far. They haven't made that connection yet, which
we made day one, by the way. I don't know if you remember. We were talking about this
in the podcast. This is how they're going to get Trump out of office. Yes. I was saying
this was, I think, potentially a deliberate attack by China. Right. Anyway, so the mainstream
media is now going going full circle back to, oh, we think it was accidentally released
from the Wuhan Wuhan lab. Yeah. Which we were like, oh, really? There's a level four virology
lab in Wuhan. That's weird. It started right there, but in a little market nearby. Really?
Right. I mean, the whole thing is so full of shit. Yeah, because all they really have
to do is there were there were folks in the lab that got ill, violently ill. Yeah. And
they got hospitalized before any of this happened. But back in like October, like in twenty nine.
No, it's twenty nineteen, wasn't it? It would have been. Yeah. So is it twenty nine? Yeah,
you're right. Gosh, we lost twenty twenty back in October. So it was October of twenty
nineteen. Well, even earlier. Well, I think it finally got officially saying that we covid's
out there in November, right? Yeah. Yeah. There were folks that came down with it first
from the land in the lab that were that got sick in the lab. And China refuses to cooperate
with the World Health Organization, of course, and release the records of those folks that
worked in the lab. So it's like, hey, man, where are those folks out there right here?
Release their records so we can see what they have antibodies and we could date them. Right.
And they won't. They won't. Of course not. They won't give that information. Why? Because
it was one of two things. The World Health Organization is a bunch of crooked sons of
bitches of what they are. And they're paid off by China. Totally. A hundred percent.
I mean, just like a lot of our politicians paid off by the United States of America.
That's where they get million dollars is what we give to them. And but they're also getting
paid under the table, I'm sure. Like, I'm sure. But tell you what, when the World Health
Organization came out and they did what they did, they gave out false information trying
to protect China. Donald J. Trump, Mr. President, dropped their ass. Fucking body slammed them.
We're pulling all of our money out. Fuck you. He had intelligence for a whole time and he's
acting on it, man. I mean, he's got it. Exactly what he said from the get go from the get
go. He was like, hey, man, this is where it came from. And suck it. And everyone beat
him up over it. They did. You're racist against bats. Yep.
Against the meat market. The Wuhan bat. Wet markets. That's racist. Where they're like
hanging wombats and stuff. So crazy. Anyway, what are we drinking tonight?
Well, hold on. I heard they serve penguin. Penguin? Penguin? Where are they getting penguin
from? Penguin. Do they serve penguin in wet? No, it's shit they pull out of the jungle
in the caves. I have no idea. I don't believe they import penguins.
What is that called? A wet market. I thought that was like sea.
No. So they don't serve penguin in wet markets?
No. Maybe. Maybe.
In Antarctica. Can you eat penguin?
It's a bird. You can eat anything.
You can eat anything. Well, I know. But is it, I mean.
We eat spam for god's sake. So look up.
Is it illegal to eat penguin? Is it like a gamey kind of bird?
I don't think it's illegal to really to eat. I mean, because you can imagine those big
ass black imperial. It's probably a lot of fat.
The Wagyu steak has a lot of fat. Look how much that shit goes for it.
The Wagyu fat is different than like I'm half fat so I don't get cold.
I don't know. I mean, is polar bear meat good?
So a wet market. There you go. That's where they have just like shit hanging on hooks.
Yeah. Take it, cook it, hurry up before it goes bad.
I just kill. I just kill the sloth. Gross. I just kill a sloth skinned it and hung up.
What's the process? They got some stuff that I'm not used to seeing in real life, you know?
Well, that's the whole point. It's all kinds of meat.
That's why they're saying bats and weird shit.
Yeah. Anyway, I'm just wondering, can you eat penguin?
Yeah, platypus. You'll see a lot of that in China.
Wow. Hold on. I'm looking it up here. Can you eat penguins?
Yeah. So penguins long considered to be ineligible, but even the most heartiest of sailors
have recently discovered to taste a lot like veal if you cook it long enough.
So I imagine if you sous vide a penguin, it would break down the proteins good enough
so that you could enjoy a nice soft tender. We're not going to let you do it because it's
illegal because the Antarctic Treaty of 1959 restricts anybody from killing and eating
penguins. So that's the Antarctic Treaty. Why?
Are there penguins in North India? No, we're not in Antarctica.
There's a lot in Prosper. Penguins are fish. They're mammals.
They're amphibians. What if I have a farm of a bunch of penguins?
They live in water. No, they're just naturally occurring.
Outlander both. Penguins are birds.
It says eating too many could lead to mercury toxicity because they're eating fish.
That's why I don't eat penguins. And if you did choose to eat a penguin or
its eggs, they would generally taste quite fishy.
Gross. Like salmon?
No, like sardines. Like grots.
Salmon eggs. Have you ever smelled salmon eggs?
No. Have you ever gone fishing and you get the
little thing of salmon eggs? Oh, yeah, the little red balls.
Well, they're various colors, but... Typically red.
Thank you, Jeff. He's always contrarian. Whatever I say, he wants to say the opposite.
You know, I recall going through the fish store and they had these vials of eggs that
you would use for bait. And I just remember there was a rainbow of different colors.
You know, blue, green. It could be sturgeon.
Yellow. Could be? Sturgeon. Northern pike.
Or gar. Be like fish egg. What is it called?
Fish egg bait. Eel.
Or arapaima. Eel.
Eel? Eel eggs.
I've never... See, look at that. There's all kinds of colors.
You're right. I think those are falsely colored.
Whatever. It doesn't fucking matter. You know, when I went to the store, look at this
UV glow. Of course it's going to be falsely colored.
Balls of fire. Oh, God, have you ever had that?
It's called balls of fire. It's called ball chafe.
The only time I've ever had balls of fire is when I actually grazed my nutsack with
a handful of Bengay. Or someone punches it.
Or flicks it. Oh, I got a... What is that? Asper cream?
No, no. What is the... Yes, right. Asper cream.
I have Asper cream for my shoulder, but it doesn't have the menthol and stuff in it.
It was something that came in a bottle. I see a lot.
It was like... Oh, my God. What was it called?
Ah, fuck it. Whatever. I got some of that in my balls once, too.
KY. No, it was not KY.
Yeah, but you've gotten lots of that. Actually, I may have lots of KY on there.
Yeah. You have some on there now, probably.
For easy insertion. Wow.
Good God, man. How vivid.
Who hurt you? Seriously, very vivid.
You're the one talking about that. Your summer camps are very different from mine.
No shit. One time at band camp, right?
Is that where they had the fish eggs? Anyway, so the fish eggs.
Wuhan market. Yes, we get it. That's one thing I would like to try is caviar.
Have you tried caviar? I've tried caviar.
I was at the Four Seasons and I had caviar. I've never had it.
Fantastic. It's salty, isn't it?
Tastes like a fish egg. Yeah, salty. Tastes like a fish egg.
You know the thing about caviar is that it pops in your mouth.
So like it explodes. Yeah, it's kind of like.
Oh, that's disgusting. Very.
How do you know? It could be delicious.
I mean, just the thought of having a fish egg in my mouth and then I squeeze it against the roof of my mouth and it pops.
So if we said, hey, these are new little.
What is that? That iced tea drink that you get where there's a bubble tea.
It has the other Boba tea. I think that's that's kind of so. Oh, yeah.
Well, yeah. The typical one does have tapioca, but they they've they've gone further.
Now they encapsulate some sort of fruit juice or something.
And so you get a drink full of these little floating bubble gels filled with fruity flavors and filled with vodka.
That's a go on. I like where this is going.
So like adult, can you imagine that bourbon balls?
Come on, we're going to have that in a glass of bourbon balls.
We're going to have that after we finish tonight.
It's true. Yeah, it's crazy.
We still haven't even talked about our bourbon.
No, I'm interested. I've never been interested in the Boba tea because I think it looks disgusting for one thing.
Now, I'll tell you what, there was one time I went to market and with my with my daughter and we got one of those little bubble thing drinks.
And we were drinking it. It was the typical tapioca one.
And I was like, and all of a sudden I take it. The straw grabs a few of them as I and it goes into my and it totally it went down my windpipe.
Oh, really? And the first like five minutes of me being in the the store, it was like crazy.
You know, I couldn't breathe. I was coughing.
And then all of a sudden I coughed just right. And I launched this fucking black tapioca pellet.
And I remember he hit the little box sitting in the aisle because it's a market for the Asian foods.
I just remember that that was that's my first stick.
I know it hit it and Madeline and I both looked at each other and it bounced to hit the floor.
We're just like, all right, that just happened.
Time to go. I was like, just just keep walking. Yeah.
Don't even look back. The ball keeps hinting at the bourbon.
I know he really enjoyed it because we're all done with it.
So we all enjoyed it. So tonight's bourbon. It was so, so hot.
It is Balcones Rumble cask reserve single barrel. What does back on this mean?
That's it's Balkans Balkans Balkans Balkans like I know what Balkans are, but this back on this.
Is it a last name? Maybe I'm not sure.
But anyway, Balkans Rumble cask reserve single barrel.
So this is set the new bar. So our goal is to find something at least this percentage.
When you say set the bar, you're referring to the proof proof.
So this is one hundred and thirty eight proof. Wow.
Sixty nine percent. Yes, it is.
I know that it is. Yeah, it is incredibly not spicy.
It is. Well, it's not. I mean, hot.
The only crazy hot. The only negative thing I could say about it right now is it was so God blessed and strong.
It was difficult to imagine. I mean, to to manage more than a very little small sip.
But the small sips are really tasty. Yes, very tasty.
They are highly recommended, by the way. This is not a bourbon, by the way.
Ah, this is a Texas wildflower honey, turbinado sugar and Mission Fig spirit.
Mission, mission fig spirit. So it's a spirit.
I don't know. It is not a bourbon.
Look at all the noses, just a kaleidoscope of flavors.
Honey spice box, blueberry compote. What does that mean? Compote. Compote.
It's a it's just like a jelly type thing. Jelly.
Not exactly. There's a lot of things in the nose.
It's really chunky. It's that right there. There we go.
Yeah, I think it's just blueberries. Stuff you'd find on a sugar. It's a fruit. It's a fruit.
Well, it is. But it's it's a certain you cook it and I think it's just
you would find on a crepe. Pretty much. Just close the fuck.
So so here's the press release. Define categorization both in its composition and its reception.
Rumble is a curious twist on spirit styles from around the world.
Do you agree with that?
I just can't get over like they list 10 things in the nose and another nine things in the taste.
There's nothing but heat. Well, this is what I'm saying.
The finish needs to be like headshot. Yeah, it's nothing but heat.
Yeah. So the nose here is honey.
Kill streak fruit cocktail honeysuckle soft leather floral musk leather.
We're back in the leather. Let's go. I've had enough. You know what?
Hit of men. Time out. We mocked. What was the leather last week?
Yeah, we've mocked. It's a leather leather leather oil.
Yeah, we've we've mocked these things before where it's getting out of control.
Soft leather, soft leather instead of hard leather, I guess. OK, come on.
So anyway, hint of mint. Where do we draw the line with this bullshit?
Tree oil, cinnamon, red hots, some unripe stone fruit. Oh, well, I could see where that one.
I have to go with me. I've used certain types of oil, like linseed oil, too, with like certain like walnut, for example.
We'd have like large sticks of walnut. I mean, when I say large, like two by six, like eight foot long, and they're totally curled.
And you use like a very strong linseed oil. I can smell the oil.
So when I say I could smell that walnut and I can smell the oil.
So I know where that would come from. But I think leather oil, soft leather, soft leather.
So leather has a smell. It doesn't smell like the bottom of somebody's purse.
Well, especially you, Jeff. I would expect you to know what soft leather smells like.
Oh, slap your ass. Your blue eyed plumber. Yeah.
I really would expect you to know that smell for some reason.
A soft leather, soft leather. I did have a soft leather sofa.
It was nice and supple. Did you leave a pooch in the snail trail on that? I did.
So the taste, light fruit cocktail, subtle leather. You can stop the cock. Oh, subtle leather.
That's the one I was thinking of. Dried fig or plum, honey, mild rosemary, sweet tea, mint, oak kiwi, rye, grapefruit and slight anise.
See, stop. Nothing can. That's a fucking buffet.
Nothing can smell like that. Nothing can taste like that. So they need to stop.
And then the this is good. Try a strong rope. Be careful.
It brought a hole in your colon. And then the finish. That's just that's just the taste.
That's all they need to say. So I would give you a hemorrhoid.
Yeah. So the finish, medium lingering finish, hint of spice, honey and leather spice fade into minty evaporation.
No, it doesn't. All right. Let's move on. This this is so dumb.
This is not but it is. But at the same time, it's funny. We need to explain it.
But this is very wine snobbish when you get to this level. But it tastes good.
It's bullshit is what I'm saying. I would feel comfortable.
And I'm going to go on a limb and I would say this is at least as it's almost as good as Noah's Mill, minus the heat.
That's what I mean. We need to cube it. It's all right. Well, let's do that right now.
I'm thinking we need to just maybe I think the power of it is we need to chill on it.
Yeah. Let's just finish this beer. Get through the first half.
I've never seen you guys back away from a dangerous situation so quickly.
Well, I've never done crack. But if I were to I know what's good and what's bad.
So sixty nine percent, it's pretty hardy. It's like it's a it's a ticking landmine or something.
And well, we're talking last week, dude.
It was in the glass for 15 minutes before we sifted and it was thermonuclear.
It was it was I have I was I have hair in my nose.
Jeff has stocks and it freaking unearthed a few.
They melted. They just fell on the glass and they didn't burn.
They melted. And all right. So anyway, good.
I recommend that whiskey of the evening. I recommend it.
Be aware of the proof. Yeah, it's good to have on the shelf.
And if you want if you want to, it's not a bourbon.
I don't know the fuck you called it, but it's it's a whiskey.
It's a spirit. It's a whiskey. It's a whiskey.
They don't even say whiskey on there. They say it's a spirit.
It's a single barrel. Excuse me.
It's a great one to sit out and just just be careful because definitely not one.
We like you have guests over. No, we just like. Yeah, no, no, no.
I want to kill your guy. No, this is one where you're spontaneously
you're by the backyard. Hold on a second.
Mr. Producer, he's blowing his nose. How are you doing over there?
Having a crisis. Everything all right.
They get a little snub. All right.
A little snub. Boogie Boogie Bogle Boy from Company B over there.
Wow. You know who sang that?
Some chicks. Christina Aguilera. No, it's the book.
Actually, I think she'd see she sang.
She's not saying that now. It was the sisters back in the 40s.
I know that. I think she remade that. Did she?
We got to back. She did not stand by.
Christina Aguilera. She did. She did not.
Why are you so definitive about this? Because I have not heard it.
He is the authority on Christie Aguilera.
Is the bugle boy the Andrew sisters? Yeah.
It's fantastic to the bugle boys.
I know what you're talking about. I ain't stupid.
Well, it's three sisters. She did.
It was Christina Aguilera and the Andrew sisters.
The Boogie Boogie Candyman is basically what it was.
Yeah, I ain't stupid. Are those trainees?
What the fuck is going on? I don't know. That's kind of scary.
Those are. What is that? Those were truly bugle boys.
So, no, she did a homage to the Andrew sisters.
I'm sure that song was in it. Oh, God, that is.
They were awesome, though. Yeah, but what?
Did you see the picture with Christine Aguilera?
Yeah, but that wasn't real.
What do you mean it wasn't real? I don't know.
I don't think that was a real picture. I don't know what that was.
Type in Christina Aguilera in Andrew sisters.
Christina with a C. Is a CH.
It looked very.
Christina. Transgender.
What do they call the guys who dress up like the women and perform?
What do they call those?
Now type in after that, Anderson sisters.
Andrew sisters.
Yeah, what is that? It's a certain. Video.
There's bars, they go up there and perform and everything.
First one. Cross dressers.
First one.
What is it called, Sean? You know what the name of it is?
What?
They're they're guys that dress up like women and they and
and they're cross dressers, but they're called.
They're are those those shows they put on? Yes.
Oh, I drag drag drag drag racers drag queens drag queens.
That's right. Yeah, that's popular with some folks.
I mean, they never really.
All right, so this is the little sisters
and Christina Aguilera.
See, there's Christina Aguilera.
All right. See, I was right.
But they're both singing.
It's like there are six people singing.
Now, this one looks like they they they mashed them.
Oh, OK. I believe that's what this is.
And that picture we saw earlier is not that.
I like this song, actually. Oh, it's a great song.
It is popular. I mean, actually.
I mean, the movie on the right, the with the is that that was on a movie, wasn't it?
Yeah. And your sisters.
What a great, great memory to have.
What a what a great moment in time to capture, because this was like World War One.
This was World War Two.
And that was a sign of the times the women. Oh, yeah, that's right.
We had a shortage of medals and the women had to step up and and they did.
And that's so cool.
And they had such great that was back when dancing was cool.
Doing the Charleston. Yeah.
Now you have who she mama on the left.
Oh, yeah. Well, I mean, yeah.
But the thing about the hoochie mama is that they have nowadays, which are embarrassing,
like the the music awards over the last couple of years.
Cardi B. Man, I don't know. Yeah, probably.
Just all the stuff, like just the, you know, just some disgusting gut rot, sex stuff.
I mean, look, I'm all about sex and I'm all about passion.
But there's a right way to express yourself and inappropriate way to express yourself.
You know, there's a time and place for everything.
And I don't believe it should be on the public broadcasting systems.
I agree. Should be on our airwaves, especially when the kids, the young kids.
They're trying to program. They are.
You know, and they see him at the Grammys and she's like thrusting and scissoring.
That's what I want to be. I want to scissor with the dragon lady or whatever.
The next thing you know, the next thing you know, they're running around wearing spandex and getting a stamp tramp.
Tramp stamp. What did I say? Stamp tramp.
Dyslexia. How does that happen? I don't know. Dyslexia of the tongue. It's a brain deficiency.
We all do it. Shut up, producer.
Oh, see, this one had to had ginger snaps in the taste.
Did you get ginger snaps out of that? No, I got heat.
Yeah, really. It was the look again.
This was the Balcones rumble was really good, but it was so strong.
Yeah, it kind of overpowered. It needs to be respected.
If you don't respect it, it's going to respect. It's not going to respect you.
Yeah, it's going to be tough. I think I think you're right.
The next class on this needs to be a cube or two, and I think it'd be fine.
Oh, yeah, I think so, because when I put the water in it, it helped a lot. Yeah, helped a lot. I got you.
All right. So what else do we have going on in?
Nowadays events. Well, all kinds of things going on.
We heard about the the John Cena thing where he kind of made a fool of himself.
You got to wonder who he's in bed with.
Well, it's like, why do you need to apologize for that? Yeah. OK.
So a little background. All right.
So he was doing some interviews for the new Fast and Furious movie.
And in one of those interviews, he referenced Taiwan as a country.
And of course, you know, China claims Taiwan is one of its whatever colonies, provinces, whatever you want to call it.
And they don't and they don't. Yeah.
Territory and they don't recognize their independence as a is an independent nation.
Well, China does it, but does it the rest of the world does?
I don't know. That's a good question. Maybe maybe they don't because they don't want to cross China.
But but so he ended up saying that it was a country and then he apologized profusely.
And then he even went on and did a video in Chinese on the Chinese version of Instagram or Twitter or something like that.
Yeah. Basically apologizing. And it makes us wonder what why so passionate about such a weird apology.
Right. And he and the apology was done in Chinese, which I give him props for that for being able to speak fluent China.
Yeah. But but why? Yeah, I know.
But why any and he's why do you look so scared doing it?
I don't know if he looks scared. But I mean, that just tells you that.
OK. OK. Hold on. You remember the NBA was wearing an orange jumpsuit.
You remember you remember when Darrell Maury of the Rockets, the general manager for the yes. Yeah.
Yeah. So he defended the people of Taiwan.
It was Hong Kong, Hong Kong, Hong Kong.
And and but that's a similar situation, right. Where China is owned by China or whatever.
And they keep their hands off for the most part because they like the economic engine that it is.
Well, Hong Kong got handed over from the British to Chinese back in five, six, ten years ago.
Correct. But they're still you know, they still brutalize them.
Whatever. Anyway, so you know, Maury came out and kind of said a controversial tweet and shit blew up.
Right. And then China canceled all sorts of exhibition games and they canceled this and that.
And the NBA took like a billion dollar hit. And LeBron came out and said China's great. Yeah. Exactly right.
Prayer phrasing there. Yeah. He tried to mend mend all that. Right.
And this is what he's doing with this movie, this Fast and Furious movie.
So the bottom line is they're getting so much money from China that everybody has to end up.
China is China fronts the money. Yeah. Yeah. That's what I'm saying.
This is stuff. These are investments that China has.
And China has been known to do all kinds of things like propaganda.
Yeah. It's all about the optics.
And like, for example, they're trying to protect certain readers like Tibet or some places in China where they don't want people to go.
Right. And one of the movies, man, like Batman was in some went up to some ice mountains.
It's the very first of the reboot. You're talking about Tibet.
Yeah, something like that. Tibet's not part of China, though.
Well, it was something like that. My point is that they made. It's close.
They removed a lot of those. It was one of the movies they removed a lot of where there were Tibet or Tibetan.
Tibet, Tibetan. Tibetan.
Tibet, Tibetan monks and they removed them.
That's the whole thing about the Dalai Lama. They changed them to like women.
You know, it was kind of like they changed. They made them change everything.
China has so much control. Yes.
And the cliche is, oh, it's all about propaganda. Well, it is. So they are all about propaganda.
So China has managed to work their way into lots of situations where their money is so powerful.
And so, well, I shouldn't even say powerful. Their money is so so.
Where do they get their money?
Well, I mean, it's all it all just comes from the government, right?
They take it from the people and they give to the government and the government does what it wants with it.
But here's my point. So all the mainstream media.
Right. You got to talk about being fronted by money, right?
The mainstream media needs their money to stay afloat.
Hollywood needs their money to stay afloat.
Right. And that's that's the truth. The propaganda markets.
So they've worked they've worked their way into owning different things and having influence on certain things.
They've infiltrated key areas of our country with their money.
And now we're beholden to them.
That's basically what's happening. I imagine they're everywhere. Yeah.
Everywhere. I think because there are taking over some of the trends I've observed in my own neighborhood.
And and by means this is not racist.
These are observations you have some Asian because you know what?
Maybe the others don't stand out there very well could be some white folks that buy a property while going to school or whatever.
And then they don't sell the house. They rent it out and move to the next one.
Right. That may be the the American dream.
Oh, a lot of people are doing, you know. Yeah.
But I see a trend. Yeah. But the trend that I've I've seen in my own community and my conversations with some of these very nice folks are that's exactly what their homeland had suggested they do.
It's kind of like a career plan when they're in China and when they're coming over here is this is what you do.
You will buy the house and then you use it as an investment. Right.
That's basically what it is. They're all about buying property. They're buying it. I think I've told you this.
Even down time McKinney when I went to Vancouver about five years ago.
What was the Women's World Cup five or six years ago?
Anyway, I was up at Vancouver and I was up there and we had a driver from the airport to our hotel and I was a young guy probably in his early 30s.
Okay. And we're talking to him. We're driving through some nice neighborhoods.
We're like, wow, how much of the house is here? You know, they weren't huge or anything like that.
There was just nice. And he's like, yeah, these are well, two, three, four million dollars. Right. For a standard house or 18 square foot home.
Yeah. Eighteen square foot. Eighteen hundred.
And he's like, and he said he goes, yeah, he goes, most of the working people in Vancouver cannot afford to live in Vancouver. So we live a couple hours out. Right.
And he said, what happens is the moguls in China send their kids to school over here and they will buy a house and they move all of their money with their kids to get it out of China. Right.
So they buy up all these properties and they don't care what price they pay for it. Right. Because they want their money out of China. So they're paying three million dollars.
Sort of a way of laundering. Yeah. So they're getting money out of communist China and they're paying inflated prices, which is inflating the price of all. Correct. So it builds up their assets.
It does. So they're getting their money out of China, out of that control of the communist regime. Right. Because they could probably come and take your money if they wanted. Of course. But they can't come to the United States.
So once it's over here, it's over here. So they'll buy all these homes and their kids will stay there as they're going to school. And then they have all their money and then they'll sell it.
Then they'll have. Well, good for them. For a Canadian dollar. Good for them. And I'm so I'm you know, it doesn't make me unhappy to hear that this is happening because communism is horrible.
You know, and I feel bad for those folks that have to take that battle and try to get to the United States. But they should be very thankful that they have those opportunities at the same time.
Excuse me. As far as you yourself at the same time, what really what really grinds my gears about some folks is the the China folks or the Asian market?
It's the the rental properties in my neighborhood. OK. Or anybody's neighborhood.
You would you cap on that? Well, they should. But they it's not you did. But it's not a it's not a mandated thing.
It's not something you have to do. And they're that in the HOA. Yeah. Yeah. You say there's only so many homes that can be rental.
Yes. Correct. And we passed that as a homeowners association. Correct. Very nice. Yeah. Yeah. We've got a control.
We've struggled to get the neighborhood starts to fall apart because the people who rent in general don't give a shit. Right. Yeah.
And the rent and the people who own them have the time to live in the city. That's right.
Well, my point by this whole thing is with the rental is that, you know, it really degrades the value of the property.
Yeah. Because most of the people that actually that are renting, you know, they think about it. It's kind of like a college student. Right.
Who the fuck cares? That's what I'm saying. They don't do their yard. I mean, some do. Some care about.
Yeah, they are. But the most part, they don't they don't care.
And so, yeah, everybody your neighborhoods just starts to look funky. Right. It looks like shit.
Well, I don't think it feels like a true neighborhood either. Right. So there's you know, you may have a rental here that's here for a year.
They're on. You have another family in there. Yeah. It kind of breaks up, you know, community, you know, camaraderie. Right.
It's hard. It's hard to build that up. Can we stop for a second?
I'm super excited about that. Ikea wastebasket that we've put to the podcast room.
It has a it has a 17 inch diameter. I didn't know it had been brought in here. Oh, yeah.
So a 17 inch diameter. Did you miss? No, it was straight in. It went like a thing. Like a thing.
Well, that's exciting. It was very exciting. I cannot wait till I finish my beer and toss it. I'm going to toss mine full.
I'm that excited. Oh, you got one right here in the hopper. Ready to go.
Look at this. We're going to hear it.
Fucking two feet away. It misses. Did it really miss? Yeah, it totally missed.
Why wasn't it looking? I did a no look pass. Did you play basketball? I try. Shit. I'm the old man up there.
So so how many folks are you getting a lot of inquiries for people want to buy your home?
No, no. Is that a bad thing? Well, no, I don't think so unless you want to sell.
But Julie gets text a couple of times a week. I get text and phone calls a week. I guess I do. I'll buy your home.
I tell them all to fuck off. I've never had one. And I asked Julie. I was like, so what's your.
I'll sell today. What's the price? He goes a million dollars. I was like, all right.
Deal. We're close to that. But, you know, I tell you what, it's only going up and up and up and up.
It is because they want more taxes. Well, PG. No, they're keeping the taxes low.
Well, OK, you're talking about. Yes. But still, they're keeping for they're keeping the taxes low in in in comparison to other other cities.
Right. So anyway, but you're right. I mean, obviously, the assessed value you got to be.
I don't think being next to the Byron Nelson, Craig's Ranch thing is doing much for us.
But about the PGA moving their headquarters here to Frisco, man, I just stood.
They're building like four tournament level tournament level courses.
I don't I think we'll open up a rental market to where you could say I'm going to rent my house for the week for six grand or whatever.
We're going to open that kind of market. But is it going to make our value go up?
I mean, we're still five miles away from you. Can you do bed and breakfast in your house?
Like if I were to enclose, you could do a bed and breakfast.
You have to turn it. You have to turn into a company and you have to be zoned for it.
Why not? You'd have to. There are some residents.
There are some B and B's that are in a community where they may be zoned correctly.
Well, I mean, like if I have a house in the H.O.A.
and I'm renting it, what does it matter if it's going to want to stay in your house as a B and B?
Why not? They'd want to do it as an Airbnb. Airbnb.
Oh, it's a different Airbnb and a B and B. B and B is you're you're living there with them and you're making them breakfast and dinner.
Yeah, you live in the basement or the attic or in some closet.
Oh, well, I'm talking like like in my house specifically, I've got a garage and a house above the garage.
I would just allocate like maybe above the garage and have their own bathroom and their own efficiency and kitchenette.
It'd be all that'd be an Airbnb. Yeah.
No, no. Are you still living there in that scenario? Yeah.
And that's a bed and breakfast.
But there's no way I could enter that area unless I were to enter it through a main entrance.
Like I would have it's different. The B and B's I've been to.
It's usually a house and it's open. Yeah.
My room is upstairs and I have access to the rest of the house.
Yeah, usually there in the in the basement, like the people who live there are like out of the way in the basement.
You have full range of the house except for the other rooms.
Your scenario that you're describing just some sort of creepy creepy, some creepy arrangement foyer.
You probably have holes in cameras. Yeah, you have cameras in that.
No, that's not true. Yeah, very, very strange.
I wanted to bring up a beer.
You want to bring up a beer to put in my koozie? I can give you a beer.
What kind of beer can we bring over tonight? I don't know.
What did you bring? PBRs. Nice.
Is that because Total Wine is out of your? Yeah, they're out of it.
It's very disturbing. So I did talk to them and they said, OK, they no longer are carrying the 30, 30 packs of cans.
You would buy them out every week.
Well, no, I haven't been there for a while now.
So they said it's something to do with the distributor and it had something to do with disruption in production.
I don't know. And they said that they I know covid.
They said what they could do is chip shortage. They could order me bottles.
So they're going to they're going to find out how many bottles they can order and they're going to contact like singles.
Yeah, yes. Single bottles.
Well, I'll tell you, how do you feel about Pabst Blue Ribbon? It's OK.
All right. So I'll tell you, I'll share with the folks that your family beer.
My mother's maiden name is Pabst. Really?
So her papi, her dad, her dad, the producers, grand.
Great grandfather died in a motorcycle accident after coming back from one of the world wars.
Probably two. Probably.
So he got back. He was in the Navy.
Great grandfather. Maybe. Great grandfather.
The weird thing is that Pabst Blue Ribbon is my dad was born in forty two.
So that's my son's grandfather. So it may have been World War One.
World War One. Yeah, there you go.
So Pabst P-A-B-S-T Pabst Blue Ribbon beer.
So look, there's how many people do you know ever in your entire life that his last name is Pabst?
I've known at least 18. I've nine. I have 14. That's not bad. You know, 18.
32 right there. So I know 14.
I've only I've only known the folks that are part of my family up in Michigan.
And it was Grandma Maxim and Pabst. And she, you know, who's here.
I would never take a claim to Pabst.
Like you could walk in there and go. But I will be like, you homophobes.
Bitches. My great grandfather's name Pabst.
But what I would say is, hey, man, you and I have the same blood.
You know, we're on the bloodline. Are there any Pabst still involved?
I don't know. I don't know. But fucking Pabst.
We go with him because we can get some sort of like free tour or something.
And they're like, get the fuck out of here. You got your horse right over here.
Come on. Get out of here. You want a barrel. Fuck off.
Get out of here. You and Hoffa. You're trying this clear bourbon. Clear.
Anyways, I thought it's it's it's a very cool factoid.
So a lot of Pabst from Ohio, Pennsylvania, New York and California.
Oh, your website are you on ancestry dot com? Look at that.
Well, how many Pabst are there out there?
But the thing 30 to my point by saying we know the mall is that
I've never heard anybody. I'm not saying I have a claim.
I'm just saying my mom's name is fucking Pabst.
It's a cool trivia thing, man. I like it.
You know, it's kind of cool. Perhaps lifespan is.
What a pap spare? No, perhaps.
That's where they dump. That's where they dump beer on the crotch.
So what is the average Pabst lifespan between 49 and 2004 in the United States?
Perhaps life expectancy was lowest 1949 and as high as in 1998.
The average life expectancy. I don't understand that.
Forty nine was 48 in 1949. The average lifespan was 48 years old.
Wow. Holy shit. We would all be dead already.
Yeah. And in two thousand four seventy nine.
Was that because the war? The war probably brought down the average life.
It had to. That's crazy. Yeah. Natural causes.
I think you would have to you'd have to separate natural causes versus versus going to get killed.
You know, it's no interesting. 48 way too.
I have a book, one of my relatives, I got a bunch of those that is about the the Murphy line.
And it's kind of a genealogy book and how my mom's side from my the other side of my mom,
not the pap side, but the other side. Milwaukee's best side.
The the high life. Imagine that it's funny.
Hey, no. So the one of the stories in this is what you're talking about is that people die.
Like, you know, in 1949, people died at what? I'm sorry.
Nineteen whatever the fuck it said. Forty nine died at the age of 49.
Right. You know, and it's kind of crazy because even back then in the story,
they were like, oh, yeah, my baby died because it grabbed the pot off the stove
and it scalded them to death. Right.
Now, I don't know how often does that happen nowadays?
How would it not happen just as frequently?
What is just different back then? Well, no, I mean, it's lower.
No, I mean, when people have catastrophic burns nowadays, they do, you know, skin grafts and they save them.
Yeah. Back then, they couldn't say my point by bringing that up is that there were a lot of violent stories in the book.
And I know the spirit of the book wasn't to to.
To exploit the violence or the the tragic of what happened, but it was more just to detail what happened.
Right. You know, and it's just kind of crazy because you think about all these stories about how people passed away back then.
Yeah, that would never happen now. Yeah. Well, yeah, exactly.
So now it's like there's therapy. Oh, well, that's fine. We can replace this. We could do that.
And there's like some of the kind of yeah, just just euthanize it. Right.
He was only so wait a minute. How attached could you be?
You know, look at that average life. Twenty two in nineteen forty two.
All right. That means all the cause died in war. They all died in war.
Seriously. The average age was 22. You're that the are you sure you're not from Poland?
Oh, the holy cow.
That means that means our boys are about dead. You're kicking ass.
Yeah, you're you're 22. I find that hard to be proud.
So what about what about Paul's? Yeah. What about mine? Yeah.
What about look for the Paul? Yeah. Look for Paul. Mine is all going to be based on German.
So I want to see your last name so bad you can't know.
I know I guess the you're not going to find much.
Well, it's right there, man. Yeah. There you go.
But raping ring. So basically Pennsylvania and Missouri. Yeah, because it's all Germany, dude.
Was that Missouri or no, that's Minnesota. Oh, we're doing much better.
I think I win. Wow. No, when or you lose? I win.
I just feel we're badasses. Yeah. But you hold on.
I don't think that's a win. What was the 48 or 50 something? 52.
You have two years live. But you know, OK, I don't know how accurate this is because apparently there was a.
It sounds to me like Paul's last name that they were pussies and they didn't do shit.
We got you were the folks that were stuck a handout that the Democrats were banging.
You know, you know, we're jerking off Democrats.
You know, they're all in Germany and I have no idea what's going on over there in terms of my genealogy.
It's all being eradicated. Well, probably a ton of them died in the war.
A ton, probably. I don't know. Shit. Who knows?
Have you guys ever given your DNA to website type of thing?
You know, it's funny you mention that. So I just purchased. No way.
I purchased about a month ago the DNA test and I have it sitting.
I have it sitting in my office. Is it an anal swab?
Wow. I don't think so. But it could be. It could be.
Is it a penile probe? No, this one is they want us.
They want you to use your wreath for a swab. They want you to spit into the cup.
But I don't ever think about it.
They got this actually like a luge. So they've got this.
They have this little it looks like a little chemistry set you get and you open a Ziploc bag and everything's all sterile.
And they're kind of like you got to spit in this little tube and then you got to break a little.
It's kind of like a glow stick. You got to break that little vessel inside of it.
And then you shake it up and then you seal it.
You put it in this little container and then like, hey, do this, do that.
You put it in the container and you mail it to us. We'll tell you where the fucking came from.
Right. This little dude comes out, little Sylvester Stallone dude comes out.
Little hologram. Little Italian stallion.
Oh, God. Little stallion.
You know, I'm worried about doing that simply because I don't want the government to have, you know, have a.
Your DNA. So when you commit a crime.
You know, well, you know, you hear what's happening.
You hear what's happening. People do this and their uncle gets arrested for unsolved crimes.
Really? Because now you're on. We found your sperm on Monica's.
This is a familiar DNA match to this crime. One hundred percent.
Yeah. Have you not heard this? No, no, I've heard.
This has happened over and over and over. This happens a lot.
Well, actually, I know in there and they do a DNA match and they find someone like you or and they and they go, OK, somewhere.
He was looking at Jeff and then they start.
No, no, they start. They start digging into the males of the family line.
And they track it down. Amazing.
They have these indicators and they're kind of like, all right, well, this came from this line of family and this blood.
And they they could totally track someone down in the family. They totally do it.
It's amazing. It's like my uncle. So ancestor dot com shares it with the government. Yes.
Well, I'm not in their paperwork.
This is we will share this with the government.
I think there's just a public API problem. So here's the thing. I don't give a shit.
It didn't bug me. I don't get it. I don't have anything to hide.
So if maybe your brother does. Yeah. What about your great great grandfather Papps?
Well, sounds like me. He shouldn't have stole the beer recipe from Milwaukee.
Hmm. From surely Shamil Shamoz.
What was that? What beer companies they worked for?
Oh, I don't know. Oh, duals.
Hold on. What are you saying? In that show, they worked for a beer company.
Yes. A beer bottling company. Yes. You know that.
Yeah, they were. They worked on the opening of Laverne Shirley.
I don't think I've ever seen the damn show. Is that during your blackout years of Thailand?
Overseas, yes. Cambodia. Cambodia. Yes.
The shots shots. It was shots brewery shots brewery shots brewery in the 50s.
The Milwaukee, Wisconsin. But they were bottle cap is two friends and roommates work as a bottle cap is in the fictitious shots brewery in late 50s.
So where does the.
You're the car. My. Where's that come from?
Why are we doing that tonight? Because Carmine and then you had the dad who was very Italian ask.
Oh, boy, he was a. Oh, I'm learning Shirley. Yeah.
And he had to Fosio. That was a dad.
OK, I got you. Yeah, the dad shots beer.
Look at the logo. Looks like kind of like. Yeah.
Little phallic. What? Oh, totally.
Fuck. Yeah.
But basically, it looks like the top of the old school baby bottle with the nipple.
It looks like the head on it looks like the shit emoji.
Yeah, basically. Not really.
So Laverne Shirley, they had let me see if I could pull up the cast of Shirley.
That was that were Fonzarelli Alfred Fonzarelli came from where they spun off Happy Days or they spun off a Happy Days.
Laverne Shirley did because Laverne. It was a double day.
Spun off of Happy Days. It was a double day between the girls with Fonzie and Richie.
So the series is a spin off from Happy Days as the two lead characters were originally introduced on that series as acquaintances of Fonzie.
Henry Wrinkler. Yep. They were they were two girls crazy who date the fleet.
But for Family Hour, they had to be changed and mellowed down to which in Cindy Williams opinion gave the show more depth set in roughly the same time period, approximately in nineteen fifty eight.
Work and Mindy was also a Happy Day spin off.
I did not know that. Yes.
Now, new, new, new, new more than Mark and Mindy.
Mark is a alien. Correct.
He showed up on Happy Days. How does that even make sense?
It's near the end. Late 70s.
Remember, when did work and many start?
That's a great show.
So Boulder, Colorado, Robin Williams and Pam Dauber.
Leave it to you. Bring that bring that up.
More committee because who's the girl again?
Who's the actress? Pam Dauber.
Mark Harmon's wife.
See, that's not ringing a bell with me, but I remember her being so freaking stinkin cute.
She had very 70s hair.
Yeah, there she is.
She was so cute.
Mark and Mark and Mindy American sitcom television series that aired on ABC and from 78 until eighty to four years. And it was a spin off after a highly successful episode of Happy Days.
It starred Robin Williams, Mark, an extra terrestrial who comes to Earth from Planet Orch and a small one or can remember the egg work from he would get in.
Oh, yeah. You know, and he would sit on the chair upside down.
And what was that his first start in TV?
I don't know. I don't know if he had anything before that, but that's his biggest one, at least.
Dang. That's crazy.
Yeah.
He's dead.
Yeah, he is.
Unfortunately, he was very sad, sad story.
Yeah, I think he was. I think they said he was getting dementia or some kind of dementia and he was getting depressed and he was like, he was majorly depressed.
He was. Yeah, he had huge depression.
Wow. 2014. I realize it was that long ago.
Seven years ago. Yeah. So Mark and Mindy Leveron and Shirley, both from Happy Days.
I'm trying to find out what he did prior to Mark and Mindy. I know he did stand up forever.
I think he was stand up. He was very.
Did a lot of blow. He's very manic.
Yeah, he had a he had a he had a like a lot of he had to have high voices. I couldn't spit that out.
You know, you sound like a little kid.
And he was very. Yeah, they're all over the place.
Like, it was almost like you were just so enamored with his performance more than just like laughing at jokes.
You were more just like your eyes demanded your attention.
Yeah, your eyes were big and you were just going, well, you never know what you're going to get.
I think he just winged everything. I think he was on coke.
Well, and I think even even his later movies like the one where he dresses up as the woman, Mrs. Doubtfire.
Yeah. So he a lot of his stuff was just in.
Wow. Improvision. That was.
But I like some of his later stuff, too, like the night of the museum.
Excuse me. He had a pretty he had a pretty subdued role in that movie.
He didn't have a lot of opportunities to like ad lib and.
Well, he was man. He played a lot of good movies.
I mean, I cannot. I agree. I agree.
It was the Garp. Well, according to Garp, I watched that according to Garp.
I never saw that one. There was another one with Matt Damon.
He played in. Well, that was the Matt Damon one where he first got to start where he was a a it was.
Well, he was in school. Well, he was really smart and he got into Harvard.
Yeah. Good Will Hunting. That was a great movie.
It was all right. Anyway, very talented guy. That was a big loss.
I didn't realize it was already seven years ago. But well, since we're kind of man, he was in a lot of stuff.
Good morning. That was a good one.
That was a really good one. That was it. Well, and he was also in Tutsi.
No, no, that was Dustin Hoffman. Dustin Hoffman.
I you know what? It's funny you mention that because I said the same thing. I was thinking the same thing.
Tutsi, but he was not a role. He was an eight is enough.
I don't know that apparently. But speaking of.
Oh, yeah, he was in that Popeye. I saw that movie.
It's terrible. Popeye. This was terrible because because as a kid, I was thinking, oh, it's going to be that cartoony and great.
That was not weird. It was strange.
It was like it was like human claymation. You know, he had that winky eye that was like always stayed winked.
You know, big arms they made up and everything. But he and Brutus would fight.
Yeah, I was I was expecting more cartoon.
Well, did that come out? So I was 11. So I was 11.
So I was like, all right. It hasn't been too long since I used to watch the Popeye cartoons.
It was nowhere close. Yeah, there was a big octopus in it, I think, or a squid.
You know what we didn't see on there was Aladdin.
Believe it or not. Yeah, there is.
We're watching the the him being a Popeye.
We can't hear it, though. So he's like jumping. He's got these big four arms and it's creepy.
He's in a fighting.
That's super creepy.
Yeah, he had that winky eye. That was the hard part. I couldn't get over.
It was a kids show. It was you know what?
What I call it, I call it a Saturday matinee movie.
And these are the types of movies, but it was not good.
It doesn't matter as a kid. As a kid, you'd go to the Saturday matinee.
Nowadays, this is this is what the kids don't get nowadays.
You know, when you when you get over diluted with things like streaming videos and music
and you get everything that comes to you with no effort at all, you can like, yeah, you're fucking spoiled.
Yeah, I know. Back then, it was kind of like you look forward to it was like, hey, man, look on Saturdays.
My dad's going to give me 50 cents and maybe a buck and I'm going to go to the movies.
And it's going to it's going to allow me to get like like those like entry.
I can go watch the movie. I get a bag of popcorn. Maybe raisin. That's a pop in caps.
What were the the candies that they had? Jolly Ranchers.
And back then they didn't have Jolly Ranchers that were the small, small ones.
They had the bars, the Jolly Rancher bars.
They were about four inches wide and about an inch. Yeah. Four by a big rectangle and real skinny.
Yeah. You would. Yeah. Thin. Yeah. They were thin. They turned the blades.
Oh, yeah. You sit there, you suck on them and they would turn to blaze and they would take forever to eat.
You slice your tongue. I remember that I did. I didn't.
I only did it like once, but yeah, you can totally cut your tongue on that shit.
I remember stabbing my brother with it once.
So they're not actually showing that on their producer.
You get a type of maybe bar. It was a Jolly Rancher, but it was like in a bar form.
And I remember they had all kinds of flavors like they currently do now.
That cinnamon was the favorite one. That's what I would get. Yes.
So I'd get like a coke. There it is right there. Yeah. There you go.
Do you think they still sell them? I think they were bigger back. I don't know.
That's not it, but it's about the closest as we can see the far right.
The far right one looked like it was. That one there. Yeah, that's about as close.
You know what? I think that's that's it. That's pretty close.
Did you just what? That was cinnamon. You did that.
You did that. He did that. He has a lisp. Yes. Yes.
He does. All right. So anyway, wappas.
OK, you're talking about going to the movies.
So let me share with you. I got a story and we got time for the story because.
And this is a big one. All right.
He poked a hole in the bottom of the popcorn so that his date would reach in and grab his wee wee.
Is that what happened? Go on.
Now, this is your story, but you and I were there together.
And there was no girlfriend. I don't recall doing that.
I saw Paul do it to you, however.
You know what? Anything could happen after the damn time we went to the movies.
Shut the fuck up. So I don't remember fucking anything.
Here we are. So we live in. Let me let me get the setting straight.
So we live on. We live on base military. I'm a military brat.
This was in, I want to say the early 80s, like eighty one, eighty two.
All right. We are in Fort Monmouth, New Jersey.
And we live on Goslin Avenue. It's now a city.
I mean, it's part of it's now the fort sold it.
So it's now open to the public. So they we had right up the street a movie theater.
Now, it wasn't a movie theater. It was more of a theater that with a big screen.
But they had ceremonies there. They had awards ceremonies.
They had a warium seating. They had auditorium seating.
It was it was did they have auditorium seating?
Man, it was a very long with you.
It was a very elegant military theater.
And they had all the things that theaters have, like for like plays and stuff.
So when I when I'm saying that, I'm trying to tell you that I don't know about that.
But they had like where the grips walk up there where they have the light.
There's stage there. They didn't have that back then.
They had stage lighting. It's where they the when the folks would then have a anytime they have like a theater production.
There are people that have to watch it from a different perspective.
And they're directing like 3D. What you said different perspective.
Well, no, they're totally they have us on this.
Well, it's because I'm having to stop so many times because you're going into crazy detail.
That doesn't make any sense. Well, if it's so at the very top on the roof where the grips are hanging out, there is a seating area.
OK, that is kind of like a cockpit.
And you sit in this little room, it's it's right in the center of the theater, way up above.
And it's got like six like it has theater seating up there in a room or in a room above the encoder and enclosed closed room.
You know, humble seats in order to have to climb up a ladder to get up into the areas and then you get in a catwalk and walk all the way down there.
Anyways, when there was a time when we lived on that base, my parents were working there.
My mom worked in a concession and my dad would do he would show the theater.
He would show the film. Yeah. Yeah. So he was up there.
And, you know, for like a short period of time, like maybe a summer or something.
So it turned into a family thing.
And my mom was working the concession.
And, man, I'll tell you what, I had her keys one time and I went in there and I took a box of 36 Snickers.
Oh, you bought the big box. Well, they break open to like break it out into the case.
Yeah. So well, what had happened is that a rat or a mouse ate like a section of the box that you had to throw away.
So they had to throw the whole box. So it was in that one.
I was like, oh, the rest of them are still sealed and that's what I'm saying.
But they discarded it anyways. And so I took the remainder of them like candy bars.
It was me and two other guys. And we we we went upstairs to that room.
I was trying to explain to you. And there is an afternoon show.
Seats. There we go. So look, it's in the middle of summer and you have a back door because you can imagine when you open up,
there's a back door entrance to the theater so you can open up and there's like a stage, you know, where people get ready,
put makeup rooms and stuff like that back there.
So we could go into the back door, go into the main area, climb up the rafters unbeknownst to anybody.
Right. So nobody knows there. So any show could be shown. We watch all the rated R movies.
You know, so we went up there any time we wanted to see us all Jaws.
I don't remember any of the movies that we actually saw because I was too hyped up on Snickers bars.
But I'll tell you what, for a very long time, I could not eat Snickers.
But did you eat the whole damn box?
I know, of course not. But we ate a lot of it.
We I ate enough of the Snickers to not eat sweets for years.
Wow. That's a lot.
It was it was.
Did you shit peanuts?
I don't recall the shitting. I do recall.
Is it chocolate and natural laxative?
Yeah, I do recall this.
I think coconut is there's no coconut in there's coconut in old Williamsburg.
And it is supposedly it is a laxative. I shit all night.
I never tasted the coconut, but damn, it was in there.
Well, I'll tell you what, as that's a pretty cool experience, though, it really was.
Because it's like your own little hideout. You know, for no idea.
It is like a fort. Yeah.
We were there. We were there during.
Is coconut water. Yeah.
The Mr. Producer is so so happily put this on there.
Yes, coconut water is a natural laxative.
So if you can't shit, ladies and gentlemen, drink coconut water, you'll be fine.
This is brought to you by Coconut Is Us.
So you can imagine it was like for an entire summer.
And I didn't have I had a lot of friends, but there was like a select few.
I hear a brag right there. You know, a lot of friends.
Oh, yeah. Yeah. Was it? No. Well, my point is, is I had to get what I remember.
I was so popular.
Well, in military housing, they carried me around.
They carried you around. They had big thick leaves.
They had like a dependent youth activity center and the military soldiers kids,
because you got to imagine they're stationed all over the world.
And then they get they get stationed in a for they get, you know, planted some or they call it just deported.
Do you transplant kids get transplanted from one school system to another?
And so you learn after a while to try to, you know, most those kids learn how to adapt and get to know other kids.
And you did that at what they call the dependent youth activity centers.
And these are located on all bases. And so that's where the kids hung out.
And you got to meet a lot of kids. And it was like being in the schoolyard.
Having my tables. Yeah. Having my experience growing up overseas, it was pretty much the same way.
It was the only place to go. Everybody transferred all the time, like in the middle of the school year.
Right. Somebody got their father got transferred and they just disappeared.
You're like, they'd be your best friend and they'd be like, hey, we're leaving next week.
You what? Like that kind of shit happened all the time. It was sad.
My experience is wholly different than your guys.
I went to school from kindergarten to 12th grade with the same people. Yeah. All the way through.
See, and that's the experience that's good. I came in bed.
I came back from overseas to that situation as a freshman in high school.
And they're all looking at me like I have, you know, three three eyes, you know, like who is this kid? Right.
Right. But overseas, you got somebody got dropped in and it was like I kind of I equated to like Toy Story.
Remember when they had the little toys like they'd come up to you and go, who's this person?
Yeah. They'd be like machine. Yeah. They would be my friend. Be my friend.
Yeah. They'd all crowd around you. They'd be like, ah, what were those guys called in Toy Story?
I don't know what they say. Remember? The claw. Yeah, the claw.
It's like a tattoo from the Fantasy Island. That's a little alien.
Yeah. The little alien squeaky toys in the claw game. Yeah.
That's basically how the kids were. They were like the claw, the claw.
And you'd be like, OK, what's going on? Why are these kids all around me?
I mean, they were you know why? Because you and what a different environment.
You that's what you had to do. Like you did things that made sense to you.
You didn't know how long you were going to have friends. I think that it made people.
I think it made military dependents, the kids more independent than the average child
because you had to figure it out. I mean, you know, because you don't do anything.
And you don't have a computer. You don't have games. You don't have the Atari 2600.
You have nothing. But my point is it made kids more tolerant of each other. Yes.
And we did things. They were open minded and open armed and they were like, you know,
hey, they wanted to get to know you. And it was because they also had like these rental stations.
You could rental. I'm sorry. You can rent like anything on a base.
You can go and rent like tents. We rented all kinds of stuff.
And it was the things that you can rent for like I'm like I'm just making this like a dollar,
not even a dollar. You can rent a what is a double seater bike?
A double seater bike. No, but they call it something else.
I've never heard the name of it. Well, they have a double seater bike that you can rent.
It's like a dollar a day. Right. And we would rent it for like a week.
And I remember we would we would get that damn bike so fast.
All up and down the street. Oh, that's where that that might be the story
that fed your son and Jeff's son into thinking that their double seat,
like tandem tandem bike, they thought their tandem bike could go super fast because you shared that story.
I did. And they do. But they wanted they got a bum one.
That's why they were so disappointed. I think all of them were like that
because on that street, there's no way you want to be going 50 miles an hour on a tandem bike.
Well, think of it as something that's a blessing that we didn't have to deal with that.
Why? It would have they would have fucking brought out a car.
And they would have people like those people walking all over the place.
For one thing, you can't be on the sidewalk 50 miles an hour.
Yeah, because everybody who's riding bikes and walking are all on the same. They are.
Yeah, it's the same. You know how I know that is because I got on my bike,
my my whatever that Nordic track bike. Oh, yeah.
And I did Tahoe State Line. No, I did. I did like Tahoe.
Oh, yeah. They had a pre recorded thing where you follow the leader.
The guide. Oh, yeah. Yeah. And yeah, if that's what it looked like, it was people carrying coolers
and walking on the on the right hand side and they'd be like on the left. I'm on the left.
You know, I mean, there were a lot of people out there. Yeah. Well, obviously. Yeah.
In the video. Well, that's what it's like every time I've been because it's it's outdoors.
Right. I mean, all the activities are outdoors. Right.
You have casinos as well. But most of it's outdoors.
You're walking to the lake from the lake to the stores, shopping, that sort of thing.
So, yeah, you guys do any of the casinos while you're there? Anybody go?
No, I've been to the casinos there, but no, we didn't this last time.
Are you in the casinos at all? No, no, because we've never done that.
We've never gone. I'd go I'd go up to chalk tall.
Julie and I have gone really. But, you know, we go up there.
We go up there and say each of us have one hundred bucks once gone. It's done. Right.
Which is about eight minutes. Yeah, it can be. Yeah.
Fast. So if it's got it could be a quick trip.
And we're like, and then what you do you just drive back.
You're just like, all right, let's walk around and have a drink.
And then, yeah, we'll come back a ninety dollar drink and then head back.
Yeah. I mean, if it goes that fast, which it can, it can.
It totally can. And then there are other times, man, I can I can make roulette
last a long time, even though I guaranteed to lose.
I can make it last a long time. And craps, I can play that a long time.
I don't understand craps. I've never played. Oh, it's great.
I've tried to watch it and I don't understand it.
You know what? I would love to explain to you because it's a lot of fun.
And there's so many games within the game that if you want to get super complicated with it,
but you don't have to. You can play one game, which is pass, don't pass her.
You know what I mean? Right. Come, don't come.
I mean, there are so many. It's so easy. Yeah.
I don't understand the game and I'm sure there's videos online I could watch as well.
I've never played it. I've played roulette. I played blackjack.
Obviously, the slots, but I don't play the pokers or anything like that.
I don't I don't know it well enough to do. Right. Yeah.
No, no, no. Blackjack to me is I hate to say this, but it's intimidating
because I know how to play blackjack. But, you know, there are people
I just want to have fun. And there's people at the table that like
I don't want to say they're counting the cards, but they thought it should be serious.
If I hit or pass, people at the table get mad because, you know,
you're not supposed to pass on that or and that affects everybody else's cards
and stupid bullshit like that. I'm like, you know, well, there are certain moves
you're supposed to make when you have certain cards or certain moves you're supposed to make.
Yes. Yes. And I understand that. Right.
And I understand the basics of it and all that kind of stuff when you're supposed to hit
and not hit. But I just. Yeah. But that's not true for everybody.
So you can do whatever the fuck you want. Yeah. Fuck them.
Exactly right. That's exactly right. And that's and I don't have that ability.
I'm always way hypersensitive about what other like who gives a shit about.
I know. But no. And oh, my there are some times where I'm mad at me, you know,
because you're supposed to you're supposed to stay at 17. Right.
And so anything up to 17, you're supposed to hit on.
Yeah, I don't think that's true.
Then you get split. Right. No, 17, you're supposed to stop.
But there's like you're never supposed to hit on anything over 17.
You know, God, no. But you can hit on 15 or 16. You can.
But I well, I'm just saying that there's a there's a little blackjack cheat sheet.
Absolutely right. They're kind of like that's what they say.
Now, if you get like you can get something where you get put in a scenario where you can do a split.
And I don't know what that is when you get to the same like two tens or something.
Yeah. You can split them and then you throw another chip down one chip or well, you equal your bet.
Right. Is it? So if you bet double down your
your opponent by splitting it, I think that's cool.
Yeah, you're playing two hands against a dealer. Yeah. Right.
I think that's kind of fun. It is fun. You know, so there is a there's not much.
There's a little bit of science to it, but I'm not good enough at it.
And I don't want to go to a table where it says thirty dollar minimum hand.
No, I'm just like, yeah, no.
Well, I would like to get to the point where I can try to buy the cards.
You know, but the thing about them counting the cards is how many decks are in there?
Like six. So people do it.
Well, I feel like I can get, you know, I mean, how hard is it to count certain cards in a six deck shoot?
Well, I mean, but are you extremely hard? No, I don't think it's that hard.
All right. We're getting six decks and he's going to count the cards. Yeah, you are.
Or what cards next? Yeah.
Well, no, no, no. I'm not insinuating that. It's not a matter of what cards next.
It's the probability of what the next card could be. Right.
Based on what you know, you can't. I know.
I know that, you know, seven aces have gone. I know that three queens have gone.
I know that two tens.
That's what they're talking about. We're counting cards.
And it's about the probability of a card populating.
There's people that are so good at it, they can win every single time.
Not every time, but they can dramatically increase their odds.
Right. And it's illegal. They catch you doing it.
I don't know if it's illegal, but it's against rules. Well, it is.
They kick you out. They kick you out. They ban your ass.
It's got to be with a cheat.
I bet it's going to be hard with with earbuds and all the latest technology.
Oh, those casinos have high end technology.
They're on the cutting edge of that shit.
It's like better than the Defense Department. Yeah, it's crazy.
And plus they've got like Jimmy the fish that'll pull you in the back
and whip out a skill saw and want to chop off your freaking nutsack, you know?
Yeah, there's so many cameras in there. True, too. So many cameras.
I mean, I wonder how much of that is true.
I mean, is it all? Wow, that was abrupt.
He's like, I wonder if shut the hell up.
I don't know if you guys are going to hear that when we do the the actual show,
but the music just came on. It was like it was loud.
Yeah. Did you hear that? Or is that just?
Yeah. Did you mean to do that?
Well, it is time, so we probably do need the music.
What happens when you do need?
Well, the producers said it's not time. Ten minutes.
All right. So finish your Vegas story.
Well, I've never been to Vegas. So I've been to Vegas a few times.
You've never been to Vegas? I have never been to Vegas.
You know what? We should. It's inexpensive to get out there.
It is not. It used to be the case. Oh, it used to be. It's not anymore.
Oh, it used to be. You could fly out there cheaply.
You could get out there and get hotels for cheap and eat for cheap because
they wanted all your money to pour into the casinos.
Not true at all. What changed?
I don't know. People don't bet as much.
Everything became expensive and we were like, bullshit. It's not.
Nothing's cheap. They used to say, oh, you can five a five dollar.
Oh, you can eat steak and shrimp buffet and get off.
Well, there are some deals out there. I guess.
You know what? They probably are.
But so the thing is, it should it's just a long weekend.
You don't want to go out there for a week.
It's like two or three days and you're done and you come back.
So I would need you. So like a week, three or four day weekend.
I don't know if it needs to be that long unless you want to go to
know where I am or something. I would want two nights out there.
I want three days, two nights. Yeah, that's what I mean.
Piece of cake. And you're out there Friday morning.
Come back Sunday. Yep. Yeah.
And I would do it. I like gambling. I think it's kind of fun.
Now it does get old, but but it is fun. I do it.
There's a lot, a lot to see out there.
Yeah, I would like to go to a lot of the shows, you know, those get pricey.
Oh, they're pricey.
I'm saying everything in there is pricey. The shows are pricey.
Well, I mean, it comes to a point where you're like, fuck it.
I don't care. We were we were bar hopping.
I was with my father in law and my brother in laws.
And we went out there for a golfing trip
and we started bar hopping along the strip
and just getting a drink in every bar, every casino, every casino.
We hit a bar, got a drink, kept moving on.
And you can walk down the street, open container. Yes.
And so these glasses were the not, you know, like think of a solo cup,
a mini solo cup, right? The small ones, right?
Seventeen dollars. Yeah. Seventeen dollar drinks.
And if you get caught sneaking alcohol in, they probably castrate you.
I'm sure they're no, no, you can't bring it into the casino,
but you can walk around in like the promenade areas.
But what about I thought you supposed to get free drinks when you're in the casino?
When you get if you're gambling and if you can get a waiter or waitress.
Yeah. Most of that time to serve you.
So we went to like wax a whack off.
What is a chucked up chucked up by your there's no there's no free drinks there.
Uh, right. I mean, I don't I don't know.
They should be there. It's kind of bullshit Vegas.
But you have to be in a place long enough for them to see you and say,
what do you want? You say, I want a Jack and Coke.
They'll go get it in a few minutes later. No, more than a few minutes.
Yeah, it's a long time. It's not like they're and they're small little glasses.
You're not going to get drunk off a free drink. No, you're not.
But it'd be it'd be interesting. It'd be fun weekend. Yeah, sure.
Just a weekend. I'm done with it after a couple of days because it is always on.
Yes, always on. Always on.
There's no break unless you go back to your room. Yeah, I would be interested in the pool program.
Yeah, I'd be like a cabana more like in the pool and you go up to the the bar in the pool.
Yeah, yeah, they need a swim up urinal and you get your tiny 17 dollars just being in the pool.
Well, I mean, if you had a swim up urinal, you could like up to the urinal pool is this one.
Yeah, you're in the pool like that's kind of gross.
What do you think a swim up urinal is? I'm trying to explain.
A toilet under the water? You go into it. It's not going to make it into it.
You go into this one little section of the pool where there are a lot of air or water circulators.
Yeah, that will take the suck the water out right there.
Do you take a shit right there? I didn't say shit.
You want to defecate? You want to go somewhere else. I'm talking like, you know, where you pee.
Like if you're going to pee pee in this area because the current goes that way.
You're at the low end and you pee there and you can take it out.
Yeah, that's exactly how kids arms get torn off. Press because they swim into that area.
It sucks out there. You know what? It's the no kids zone. Turbines.
In fact, it would grinding up whatever it. You know, that's the best place to put the kids anyways.
Don't have the orifice is too big. Just have a bunch of small ones.
So that, you know, you want the kids on that end of the pool anyways, because that's where they're all fucking peeing.
They have no respect. They have no coof. They're just going to let it go. It's too dangerous.
You're going to have some kid down there and he's going to get suctioned.
Is this is this bourbon kicking in or we all seem to be a little bit of a little wired?
I'm just saying I would really like he wants a built in pool urinal.
I want to know. It's a little odd. Yeah, I don't think would work.
How about like I think it would work. I think it would work.
I think they would have like, you know, how you they have vacuumed in there.
You suck so much water out. You're wanting to design a section of your pool that you can pee into.
And it's and it quickly sucks it out of there and doesn't make you pull yellow. Kind of.
That's the stupidest thing I've ever heard. No, no. I mean, I'm not talking about.
So you ever have those vacuum cleaners, you get a hose, OK, you get a little vacuum at the very end.
You put a nozzle on there. It's like now we're trying.
Now we're taking our stick in our. So you've got this. So you've got this.
You've got your swim trunks. OK, you got your swim trunks out there with the hose.
And again, that is about the size of a jock strap, so to speak.
You know, a cup. So basically you put this thing on to on the outside of your clothes.
No, mind you, on the outside of the clothes. This is after eight hundred pound Namu,
which just shoved it up his crotch and urinated all over it.
Now you're going to grab it and stick it on your junk.
Well, on your junk, you have a valid point. So I'm out. Yeah, I'm not using it.
This was this is this ranks up there with the mask on the bottom on the on the butt of a cow.
I think that was your idea to capture the gas. It was not my idea.
It would capture shrapnel.
This is why we're doing a podcast that nobody's sponsoring, because I think capturing our ideas suck.
It could be the next biofuel. We're not the next Elon Musk.
I I would I would love to be able to not have to get out of a poll to.
Well, you don't have to. You don't have to.
Yeah, but nobody wants to sit in other people's pee.
Well, then why not have one of those bags?
Isn't there a colossal bag from your urine? What do they call that?
What do you think the astronauts do?
Don't they kind of have like a bag and they pee into the bag and then they circulates around?
What is that when they stick the tube up your thing? Circular around the body?
It's a catheter. They connect it to a tube and it gets sent out into space.
Do all the astronauts do they wear catheters?
No, no. Or do they they have like suction tubes?
It's a suction tube. I think they have suction tubes.
Everyone. I think everyone has their own suction tube.
What about the women? It's not a like it's the same thing.
Freakishly. It's the same exact thing. They don't have a women and a female.
No, I mean a woman and a female. Yeah.
Well, that was odd. Do they have a transgender and a female and a male connection?
That concludes our show for the first half.
Thank you for the rumble single barrel that pushed us all over the edge.
Yes, it kind of did. We need another one of that.
Next up is should be another interesting one.
All right. Get ready for 14.2.
We'll be back. Brain fog.
We'll be back.