the topics. Oh my god. 119.4. That's what we've already drank
today. It was gonna be one and a half ounces of grace in Texas
Bundon bourbon.
And you've been looking forward to that all week. I have been aged. Because like we always talk in our podcast, we always say, or at least in the last couple months, you know, the higher the proof, the better the bourbon tendency to have more flavor.
What does it mean it's gonna be a good bourbon though? That's true. We're discovering that. Yeah, high proof does not equate just like just like cost. The higher the cost is on equate good bourbon.
Equates to rarity.
So does that explains that private dancer menu list I received.
So, so do we think a lower a lower cost bourbon? Do we find a diamond in the rough?
Sure, there's some out there. Like Noah's mill 50 bucks. I think that that's not an expensive bourbon. I mean, you can get up to 100 200 $300 for a bourbon. Yeah, easy.
There's actually not that many. At least in total wine, there's not that many that
Well, there's more than you think.
Have you guys had the $100 ones? The 150? I haven't.
I haven't.
But actually, that's not true. I have. But I have no recollection because I didn't have a palette for it. And it's only now where I'm starting to learn to appreciate different
Well, well,
Traits of a bourbon. You know what, that's what we should do. Because, you know, we're trying to be fiscally responsible, right? We're not going to be crazy and go out and buy $120 bourbons. But we should do instead of all three of us buying a bottle like we normally do. Let's all go in together on a really expensive bourbon at the same price 150 180.
Which the Louis the 15th they have for $20,000.
Exactly what I was
The hell is that all about?
I know so stupid.
But that's the ultimate test. If we open that bottle and we start crying.
Well, I tell you what
Like just bawling our eyes out because it's so amazing.
There are there are less expensive ways to try that. There's a place in town that has 100 bourbons. Now you're going to spend $20, $30 for a drink. But I'd rather spend 20, $30 than $200, $300.
That's a good point.
So we could do it that way. Each of us could get a different one to try.
But the difference is that we have it.
I know. But if we like one, then we go, OK, let's all go in and get this one.
Then we just put it on the the seat shelf.
Well, let's just make sure I'm not the one that picks it out because it'll be shitty.
You know, and then
Hold on. I support Paul on this.
I'm sure you do.
Oh my God, you won for 10.
So so so Sean.
I pulled the pot.
Oh, no, I was gonna say.
Rude. You're about to say something rude.
So we hit a different liquor store.
You can't read my mind.
This past Friday.
And they had different selections.
They have some of the same, but they had some different selections.
And Sean got Kevin.
Sean got suckered into the salesperson and he got directed to this specific bourbon.
And I'm not saying that it's terrible, but I think the way it was sold,
it didn't live up to anticipation.
Yeah, I'm disappointed.
What was that dude's name?
Andrea, Andrea's Andrea, the guy that was that I never spoke to him.
The specs guy that he was.
I did. You were standing there when I was talking to him.
Red.
What a what a what a butt wagon.
He really sold me on time out time out.
What he said was we were looking for higher proof bourbons.
OK, that was the criteria.
We gave this bottle of bourbon the complete
antithesis of what we received.
I mean, there could be another polar opposite.
Meaning it was not good.
Yeah. So you have good and then you have not good.
And this is it was it's not that horrible.
It's not that horrible. All right.
Let's talk about it. Go ahead.
Let's talk about do we have the do we have the specifics?
The specs? I don't know.
Well, apparently it's a blend.
Well, it's a blend. But what Grayson what the guy told me at the spec store.
Pulled up, Mr. Producer.
He said that Grayson, Texas blended bourbon, is blended with three major
bourbons of Texas.
So I don't know what that I don't know what those three bourbons are,
because he says, I don't know what those three bourbons are.
So the really. So you got Balcones.
You have Garrison Brothers.
No, he did say that. Balcones.
So you have Balcones. One of them.
Garrison Brothers.
Did he say that? Or you're just throwing this shit out?
Buffalo Trace.
No, that's Buffalo Trace is in Kentucky.
Are you throwing that out?
Like the three the three Texas.
Well, the ones that I know of.
The ones you know of.
The ones I know of. Garrison Brothers.
Grayson.
Gray.
Color Grayson.
I know he says.
Texas blended bourbon.
I know he said Balcones.
Yeah, so Balcones is Texas.
Garrison is Texas.
You have TX, which is, I think, better known for their whiskey than the bourbon,
because we had their bourbon last weekend.
And the whiskey was better than the bourbon.
Yeah, it was just the middle of the road.
No summer.
And I'm sure there's there's many others that we just don't know about.
Oh, yeah, well, for sure.
I mean, now there's enough bourbons out coming out.
Oh, there's Irigroot.
Is it iron root that puts us out?
Go down, click out down there.
The iron root down there.
All right, Grayson blended whiskey, I guess.
So there it is.
So that is a iron root bourbon, and they are up in Denison.
Interesting.
And the iron root that I have was the one that won Bourbon of the Year on one of the things.
But it even came with the little Texas forever little leather keychain wrapped around the neck of the bottle.
There it includes iron root balconies and five points distilling the makers of lone elm whiskey.
I don't know that one.
Maybe we need to look for it.
No.
So it's a blend.
I don't I don't mean to dog it too much.
I mean, because hold on.
I'm going to go back on what I said.
It's not horrible at all.
I mean, we've had horrible.
We've had horrible.
I just think that this one they were trying too hard to sell one hundred and nineteen proof.
I think I think it's sweet spot would be about one hundred and ten proof.
You water down just a little bit.
It's very hot.
It is.
But it makes a big difference.
Lone Elm.
I've seen that.
Interesting.
I've seen that one.
So maybe we look for that one.
I'm all for support in Texas.
Me too.
And and I've noticed they are quite a bit different than the Kentucky Bourbons.
Look at that picture.
The producer doing a great job.
He's like Vanna White over there.
One nineteen point four.
So this this thing packs a punch man.
It sure did man.
It's got me all hooped up.
Yeah.
It burned start to finish.
You know what you felt you felt it like in your lower abdomen.
Yeah.
It started to work its way into my first track the bottle into your duodenum.
Yeah.
You know what this poses a good question.
Are you are you supposed to let her breathe your duodenum my duodenum like wine.
Are you supposed to let this breathe before you consume it.
I don't know.
Do you know what that word is ball.
Yes.
Right underneath my perky Nick and the one that Nick you're on.
It's vernacular.
Duodenum anyway.
I know.
That's not your butt.
When you're when your friend is farting and you're trying to chime in with them you're
doing a do op do what.
It's I don't think that's the same thing.
That's the lower part of your intestines.
That's what they call it.
Yeah.
But whatever that is this burn works its way all the way into that.
Yeah the duodenum.
Anyway so I say I have I have an we have an iron route out there.
We have this one.
Let's get the lone elm and we have a balcony is out there.
So let's mix all three of them together and see if it's the same thing.
Yeah.
Fifty fifty.
All three.
Well I see where they're trying to go with the whole Texas program and it has merit.
I just think that it was rushed.
I don't know.
It just wasn't our favorite high proof bourbon.
But you know what maybe we should give it another shot.
Well it's below the shoulder now.
Let's let it sit for a while.
Let's let it sit.
Let it breathe.
Below the shoulder.
Listen to you.
But look here's another thing.
I really want to address the idea.
Is it better to let a bourbon breathe.
I don't know.
I'm going to go with yes.
But if you let it because once once that alcohol evaporates it's gone.
It's gone.
So are you supposed to capture it.
It's the angels share.
Well you like to burn your whiskey.
Yeah.
What's up with that.
OK.
So it's a fast evaporation.
I know but it's got to alter the taste of your of your it doesn't do anything to the alcohol.
All it does sure does.
That's what's burning.
It actually OK.
It the fumes actually burn out the alcohol.
Well the fumes are alcohol.
Yeah.
But it's the off gas of it.
It doesn't change the proof of it.
But what it does do the heat the heat kind of remind you I only pop it in there for a second.
And I don't like you can't pop it.
This would be like the lighter rocket there.
You got it.
I'm going to be lit walk it in there so that it just gets you get enough to get the the shifter or the what is this Glenn Karen Glenn Karen and the Karen.
I think we've been like 47.
Yeah.
I can't remember the name of it.
But you got to roll a little heat to the bourbon.
There are some notes in there you can't taste or smell.
Oh that does it apply some heat.
So that's why I burn.
The question is why.
That's why I want to smell the whole thing.
Yeah.
But if you notice when we when we have these bourbons and we're sitting up here and they sit for five ten minutes and you go back to it.
It's different.
It smells clearly different than when you first poured out of the bottle.
It's true.
I think some of the alcohol evaporates.
That's true.
Although you proved it down.
You added some water.
Actually all three of us did.
And we enjoyed it more.
Yeah we did.
Once we added some water to it.
As I threw it back.
Yeah you did.
Gone.
All right.
You know.
So that's what we opened with.
That was the bourbon we opened with.
And then we jumped the shark.
And Sean chugged his so we kind of felt obligated to join him.
But he shot it.
So then so then Paul opened up his selection.
But lose.
I did.
And this one was Rowan's Creek Rowan's Creek.
I'm sorry.
Did you say queef.
Rowan's Creek.
Kentucky bourbon.
Whiskey.
Great.
Distilled aged.
And bottled by.
In Kentucky by Willett.
Will it.
Distillery.
Oh yeah.
Bardstown Kentucky.
Will it makes.
Very simple bottle.
It's got kind of like an old school.
Kind of like an old school label.
Looks like a map with the creek.
It does.
Kind of.
It's kind of like a wine bottle.
I'm not a big fan of the wine bottle.
The wine bottle look.
But.
Yeah it's kind of.
I think they could update the bottle a little bit.
Yeah.
All right.
So what do we think about this one.
So this one.
I haven't tasted yet.
I put it.
Actually that's not true.
I put a little bit in my mouth.
But I wanted to.
My process is different from you guys.
I don't like to swallow it right away.
I like to let it get in my mouth.
You swish it.
Wow.
Let it get in your mouth.
Get in your mouth.
Yeah.
Get in my mouth.
Swish around.
Make me happy.
I want to get create some sort of.
Numbness.
Well.
I mean.
I want to get at that bouquet.
Experience.
I don't want to be able.
I don't want the throat taste right away.
The finish.
I don't want the back of the throat to taste it right away.
I just need the front.
It's called the finish.
It's it's interesting.
It's different than other bourbons that that that I've experienced.
Bom bom bom bom bom bom bom bom bom.
We say that because.
Happy May the Fourth.
Because Jeff's wife has entered the podcast room and she is sampling the bourbon and she
looks fired up and ready to roll.
She ripped it out of my hand.
Do do do do do.
Now the German Shepherd is jumping up on the table.
Lady.
She wants bourbon too.
This is wheels off right here.
Oh, she's going back for another sip.
She must like it.
Oh, OK.
So this bourbon is what would you what would you say?
Yeah, she really liked what was the one we had last week.
I don't remember.
Oh, shit.
I don't remember either.
God, it's probably out there somewhere.
It is.
We have TX bourbon.
It is.
It wasn't that one.
What else do we have last week?
Oh, we had the receiver for no, it was not.
We had it was not.
No, but you know, 84 proof.
We had at your house and abandoned it.
Oh, yeah, we were just left in the garage.
Sorry.
This didn't make the cut.
Kind of like you.
Whatever.
Actually, he retired.
So I mean, every year.
And you know what?
No disrespect to J.
Novichek.
Mucho props.
But I just I think.
Hold on.
Aspects there was another bourbon that was sponsored by.
Bradshaw.
OK, Bradshaw.
Bradshaw had a respectful one.
I don't.
Now, we didn't we didn't buy that one.
We did.
And but it's a stock.
It's a stock bourbon.
But this one's a hundred proof, I believe.
Oh, Terry Bradshaw.
This one's a hundred proof.
I believe.
Oh, Terry Bradshaw.
This one's a hundred proof.
I believe.
This one's a hundred proof.
I believe.
Oh, Terry Bradshaw.
The Bradshaw Bradshaw bourbon.
Bradshaw bourbon.
OK.
All right.
Well, we got to give that a try.
Whiskey.
All right.
It's a fan.
Actually, we have a taste.
Well, what a treat.
And I asked them.
We have.
If they said they don't they don't give our samples that because of covid.
We have a unexpected guest participant in our podcast tonight.
Welcome to the microphone.
Put your hands together for the one for the only.
Julie, the boss, the boss, the OSS boss.
So here's my question.
When I came in, Paul's not gay.
OK, so when I'm going to you said, may the fourth be with you.
Yes.
Yeah.
Correct.
I just brought up Catholic all day in my mind and also with you.
Yeah, that's normal.
May the fourth be with you.
And also with you.
You know what?
I get that.
I grew up Catholic.
I could see that.
But they changed it.
It doesn't matter.
Oh, yeah.
Now it's Latin.
No, they changed it.
They changed it every couple of years to keep you in check because when you're in the church
and they go through the whole and then you're like and also with you and then you're doing
that.
You know the person who completely changed it.
You know, like you know the person who has not been to mass.
Yeah.
Based on their response.
So those people that frequent church, you know that they change.
Yeah.
There's the priest and then there are the folks out there listening and they change.
They go back and forth with the prayer.
Right.
And when the public responds and you don't know what they're saying, you're reciting
something from that.
Dude, that was from version two point one.
You are a jackass.
We are in version nine point ten.
So I experienced that.
I grew up Catholic.
My wife and I were both Catholic for a long, long time.
And then we went out and found another church.
OK, is it non-denominational?
Non-denominational.
Yes.
Anyway, so I so one of my best friends mother passed away.
And so there was a Catholic mass and funeral service.
So I went out there and it was after they had made the change.
Right.
I didn't know anything about it.
I didn't put two and two together.
And here I am in in in the church and I'm like, you know, and it was refreshing to me.
I was like, oh, wow.
You know what?
I get back to my roots.
A little kid.
I was like, you know, and a young adult.
And all of a sudden I started exactly what you guys are saying.
I started saying the wrong things and I was like, OK, that was weird.
Why did everybody say something different?
I feel like an outsider.
OK.
And it kept going.
And then I was like, I was like, oh, my God, have I developed dementia?
I was like, I wasn't sure if I had dementia or had a stroke.
Did you just fart?
Paul, what are you talking about?
I'm telling a good story right now.
Just shit his pants.
And you're not going to allow him opportunity to own that.
Well, how do you know that happened?
Paul, I was I was too busy listening to what you had to say.
I know it was a hard story.
I was a little bit distracted by the by the bright light.
I got you.
But I had to.
Anyway, honestly, in the middle of that mass, that funeral mass, I was having a panic attack.
I was like, I either have dementia, I had a stroke.
I wasn't sure what the hell was going on.
I was saying everything wrong.
And then it hit me.
They changed the mass.
Sometimes they sit instead of kneel or they stay standing instead of kneeling.
Are you talking about in the new procedures?
Well, I think like three versions ago, they changed something.
Now you do the karate kid crane move.
Yeah, we're about right before the homily.
Everybody lift your hands and lift your legs.
OK, wow.
Wait all day and also with you and also with you.
Well, good. And I know I know Sean's a huge Star Wars fan.
So he went around probably harassing everybody today.
May the force be with you.
You would think he was doing the Vulcan.
Hello.
That's the funny thing.
Is that another May the Fourth be with you?
No, that's Star Trek.
Exactly. What are you talking about?
That's what I'm saying.
He's cross pollinating.
There's a core group of folks that communicate with with Star Wars.
So here lately, every morning, my assistant principal sends out an email.
Here's the duty schedule.
OK, duty.
And they're usually pretty good.
OK, they do have to be somewhat school appropriate because it is sent out through school email.
Right. So no penises.
But we don't have.
So we don't have students today.
So he didn't send out our morning schedule.
But it gets to be like 10 and then 1030.
And there's been no acknowledgement of what today is.
Oh, so you guys panicked.
So you did it.
So I send him an email, the subject disappointed.
And all I said is, you have not yet acknowledged today.
OK.
So he sends out an email.
Subject disappointed.
The power of suggestion.
It was forwarded.
My email was forwarded.
He said, I didn't acknowledge the day.
And of course, he sends the one that I showed you this morning.
It's a stormtrooper laying down on the ground.
He's been shot by Spock, not Spock.
Kirk.
Captain Kirk.
Princess Leia on his arm.
Princess Leia in her Jabba the Hutt.
I'm not going to lie.
When I looked at that, I was confused.
Totally confused.
Look at the one over there on the right.
He's holding Kirk.
Darth Vader's got the purple arm.
So basically, pre-COVID, pre-pandemic, it was this one, but with the actual.
So it's Darth Vader wringing somebody's neck, hands on.
Choking him out.
Post-COVID.
You were social distancing?
Social distancing, it's Vader just holding out his finger.
Pinching.
It was actually pretty cute.
Yeah, that is clever.
But Star Wars is not cute.
Again.
Star Wars is not cute.
Disney Plus came out with a new.
The Bad Batch.
Bad Batch.
And also with you.
I watched it at lunch today.
Bad Batch.
I haven't seen it yet.
It's kind of like, I don't know, I watched the trailer on YouTube while driving to Fort Worth today.
Hold on, I was told today that Disney edited out Doctor Strange from WandaVision.
Why?
Okay, we have a couple things to talk about with what Disney's doing at Disneyland in California.
Oh yeah.
We're going to touch on that too.
So hold that thought.
Get those, Cinderella.
Hold that thought because we're going to talk about multiple Disney things.
We can launch right into Disney if you want.
I think we need to launch into Disney because A, I need food and B, I don't have a beverage.
And the water you tried to hand me, Sean, doesn't cut it.
Is the incorrect kind of beverage?
Yeah.
Well, I'll just be in the house.
We'll go get the food.
Because you need fire water.
Fire.
Fire water.
All right.
Okay.
What are they talking about?
I don't understand the monkey.
The monkey thing.
I don't get the whole fire water thing.
So fire water means alcohol.
Look, what's going on with Disney in the Disney world?
Huh?
No, it's Disneyland.
This is important.
Okay.
All right.
So this is what you were talking about.
This is what I was talking about.
So Dr. Strange, who happens to be a white male.
Has been edited out of WandaVision because he is a white man.
Well, I could have told you that.
What is WandaVision?
Why?
I don't even, I don't watch Disney.
Sorry.
Uh-oh.
We have an exit stage left because I don't know what WandaVision is.
Well, who can enlighten me?
WandaVision is a Marvel Marvel.
For the record, I've never heard of WandaVision.
Ah.
WandaVision.
Who was the character in Iron Man that had the stone?
Oh, that guy.
The robot guy.
Apparently you've watched it, but you don't know what it is.
WandaVision.
And it's got the Scarlet Witch.
It is the, God bless him, it's the TV broadcasting station.
WandaVision.
It's the broadcasting station for that show that was on Disney+.
Oh, I see.
It was, I'll tell you what, I muscled through that.
Oh, so you watched it.
It was extremely painful.
Really?
I haven't watched it yet.
Well, they edited out Dr. Strange, love, because he's a white male.
Did they say they did it because he's a white male?
Yeah, but there's other white people in there.
Surely not.
What the hell?
Maybe there are too many.
The quota was thrown off.
No, I'm thinking they edited him out because he wanted royalties.
Written out after it was set to appear, blah, blah, blah, taken away.
Okay, so they're not saying it because he was a white male.
It was because of something else.
But of course they can't.
Probably royalties.
Yeah, I don't know.
Because look, everyone that...
You know what?
I don't give a shit about Disney.
So there it says right there, we didn't want the end of the show to be
commoditized to go to the next movie.
Here's the white guy.
Let me show you how much power works.
Oh, okay, so it is legit.
Yes.
So they purged a white guy because of the optics of it.
Correct.
That's cool.
Racism is...they're right.
I think this country...
Racism and sexism is cool as long as it goes our way.
Yeah, I think it's funny.
I don't think this country was founded on...
Look at the photo gallery at the bottom.
I don't think there's systemic racism that this country was founded on,
but I think it's here now.
It is.
So full-blown racism is going on now.
How about that?
You know, I don't think it is.
I think that you just hear it all the time,
and I think it's falling on deaf ears.
Because people want their Disney.
They don't give a shit.
Yeah, people don't give a fuck.
Look, there are racists out there on both sides, on every side.
Every side.
But...
Every which way.
You know what?
Some people are woke.
Some people aren't.
Some people are so...
I'm not.
Either you're a jackass or not.
I think you're about to make a good point.
We're inundated by big media telling us that this is what's happening and what's...
But there comes a point where you're kind of like...
But here's my...
I'm going to further your point.
But this is still a minority thing going on.
Right?
Well, it is.
The gigantic media is...
Miniscule.
But they're so loud.
That's the thing.
The Twitter mob is very wild.
They're very loud and they're tiny.
It's a thousand people...
And they're tiny.
It's a thousand people when we have a hundred million people over here who oppose it, but
they just don't voice it.
100%.
So we need to stop giving it...
I mean, I know the media shouldn't be giving it merit, right?
It shouldn't be giving it a voice.
But they are because they support it.
And we need to ignore the media, period.
We need to shut it off.
Well, we do.
Most of America does not.
Actually, the media...
I think there's a lot that do.
I think they do.
I just don't think that they're being heard.
What's the viewership of CNN?
ABC News, CBS News.
Bad.
How many people actually watch that these days?
I don't think that many anymore.
That's what I mean.
So who is consuming this?
The people that complain.
And who is the champion of all this stuff, right?
Hollywood.
Correct.
And look what happened at the Oscars.
Yeah.
Well, ultimately that's what the deal is.
That was crazy.
They went from 23 million...
A 70-something percent drop.
Down to 9.8.
Yeah.
Well, you know.
I mean, dude, that tells it all.
People are honestly tired of it.
You know?
Yeah, I agree.
So it's...
I know I am.
Look, plus LeBron James.
And look, this is just a slice of people getting tired of it.
Did you hear...
I think the woke people are tired of it.
No, they're not.
Because they're getting their way.
They're just getting started.
They're getting their way.
It's everyone else who's tired of it.
Did you see the cop who mocked LeBron James?
Yes.
Got suspended?
Yes.
There was a bunch that mocked him.
No, but this guy, he had a video out there.
Was it on TikTok?
Yeah, well, I saw it on TikTok.
I saw it.
It was great.
And it was fabulous.
It was great.
He was pretending like he was having a conversation with LeBron.
Yeah.
He goes, oh, you want me to do this instead of whatever he's supposed to do?
It was funny.
And he got suspended.
He got suspended.
But his friend started a...
GoFundMe.
And it's over $400,000 now.
Which is a lot more than he makes.
Oh, for sure.
And you know, here's the cool part.
Sorry to interrupt you, Jeff.
Here's the cool part.
He's planning on donating, I don't know how much of it.
He didn't say if it was all of it or some of it.
But he is already planning on donating it to different law enforcement groups.
Fallen officers.
Yeah, whatever.
Law enforcement related groups.
Awesome.
Great story.
Yeah, that actually is a really good story.
It's nice to hear something refreshing like that.
Yeah, there it is right there.
It's actually very funny.
All right, pipe it in.
It's very funny.
Marshall's office internally dealing with Idaho's...
It starts out with him talking out the window and he's saying something to the effect of,
can you put down that knife?
Please don't.
No, don't stab.
Don't stab that other person.
And he goes, hold on one second.
And then he takes a phone call.
And the phone call is supposed to be from LeBron.
And then he's like, yeah, we got a situation where somebody's, you know...
And he's chiming in directions.
Yes, it's pretty funny.
It's pretty funny.
Ah.
Listen to the sound of the background.
They're not going to let you play it.
But anyway, it's OK.
Why would they let him play it?
It's big media.
It's Google.
It's YouTube.
Yeah, they're just not going to let you play it.
They're going to say how wrong he is.
Yeah.
They're not going to let you view the whole thing anymore.
Really?
Google broke that up?
Well, no, all the news people.
They're not going to play the whole thing for you.
I'm sure they've hidden the actual video or made it very hard to find.
You should be able to go to YouTube and just find that video and play it.
You'd think.
Yeah, you'd think so.
But anyway, so LeBron came out with an apology to the attacker girl.
So the one that's dead?
No.
Yes, the one that's dead.
The one to her family.
He said, I distracted the attention away from where it should have been,
basically type of thing, which should have been to the girl's family,
the girl that was killed.
He's just digging himself a bigger hole.
He is.
But nobody can.
I've heard some of the daytime show hosts that, I forget, the one of the...
The View.
I think it was on The View.
I would have knife fights in our neighborhood all the time.
What's the big deal?
Is this a knife fight?
Yeah, why shoot somebody over a knife fight?
Oh, God, I have knife fights all the time.
Really?
A knife fight?
You've had a knife fight.
Yeah.
This was a butcher knife.
Yeah.
Or a steak.
What was it?
A steak knife or a butcher knife?
The thing is about six inches long.
It could have killed her.
And she was swinging.
She was on the upswing big time.
Yeah.
I mean, that officer reacted so fast and dropped her so fast and saved that girl's life so fast.
And they don't talk about that.
It was so impressive.
He saved a lot.
But they said on The View, they said whatever that talk show host was, when she said, that
officer had 20 seconds to decide that he...
No, he did not.
No.
Watch the video.
I know.
Brother, watch the video.
That's what she is saying.
And she's saying it on TV.
This is all about the power of suggestion.
I know.
20 seconds?
No.
Here's the other thing.
No, not at all, man.
When he makes the call...
He had like two seconds.
When he...
I know.
When he made the call, he was like, I'm going to kill him.
He was like, I'm going to kill him.
And she is standing right in front of the girl, the pink girl that's about to be stabbed
to death.
He could have killed both of them.
He...
I mean, do you know...
I mean, have I been...
If I was the one shooting that, everybody in the neighborhood would be dead, right?
Yeah.
Bullets would have gone everywhere.
He put...
I don't know how many bullets.
I mean...
It was a couple at least.
At least.
And, I mean, wow.
Accuracy and quickness and decisiveness and saved the girl's life.
It's called training.
Amazing.
But it's the incorrect training, apparently.
Apparently.
He should have called a social worker.
Oh, come on.
Yeah, no, they talked about that.
How would a social worker would have fixed that?
And they said the social worker would be dead.
We're beating this up.
So, we all agree on it.
In fact, I think the majority of the folks agree.
There's only a small slice at stake.
So, we're kind of getting back to...
Let's get back to Disney.
The whole Cinderella.
Oh.
I was going to ask if you told them about my eventful Saturday night.
Not yet.
You can talk about that in a second.
Is it Disney related?
No, it's not.
It's not Disney.
Not yet.
You can talk about that in a second.
Is it Disney related?
No, it's not.
All right.
Well, hold on.
Were we talking about Disney?
Yeah, we're talking about sexual assault when you're sleeping and someone kisses you.
Correct.
So...
Oh, so, snow-wise.
I'm sorry.
Sexual violence.
Snow-wise.
Sexually violated you.
Yes.
Well, Cinderella.
Or is it Sleeping Beauty?
I mean, I can see if she woke up with the glazed doughnut face.
No, it's Cinderella.
But, I mean, come on.
You haven't kissed her.
Oh, what?
So, you know, Cinderella is asleep and the prince kisses her goodbye.
Goodbye, because she thinks she's dead.
Once upon a sexual assault.
And guess what?
She did not give consent.
And they are now calling it sexual assault.
But, you know what?
My grandmother didn't give consent for me to kiss her goodbye when I was at her funeral.
Sexual assault.
You should be on the registry.
Yeah, you should.
And you might be now.
It was girl on girl.
Oh, okay.
That's why.
It's cool.
That's different.
It's cool.
So...
Cool.
That's cool.
Who's the organization that is complaining about this?
That's a great question.
There is no organization.
It's like a couple stupid Twitter people.
It's just people on Twitter.
Twitter people.
That have complained about it.
Because people are stirring up shit.
Yes.
Yay.
It could be ten people.
That's it.
I know.
But it sure is getting a lot of publicity.
It is.
And they're going to spend a million dollars or whatever to change the ride.
But you know why?
That they just spent a million dollars?
But you know why?
They're trolling us.
Yes.
And we're reacting and we're talking about it.
Let it go.
No, but more importantly...
The only reason why it got press is because Disney bid on it.
Yeah.
They're biting on it.
And they're changing their ride.
I don't think they're going to.
They should have ignored it.
Yeah, they are.
Well, aren't they?
Seriously?
It's been closed for a year because they were...
They just finished revamping it.
I don't know.
And that's what started it.
Whatever the new...
They wanted to make it a happier ride.
Right.
No, I understand.
The whole...
From what I remember reading, whatever the new ending was, how they had Prince Charming
coming, Kiss Cinderella, I may have my prince and princesses mixed up.
Snow White.
Yeah.
I wonder what the...
Oh, it is Snow White.
It's Snow White, right?
Snow White, not Cinderella.
The racial ratio or the racial...
Sleeping Beauty.
Of all the people that go to...
It is Sleeping Beauty.
All the people that go to Disneyland.
No, it's Snow White.
How many people are white?
How many people are black, Mexican?
What is...
How many denomin...
I mean, I'd like to know.
How many white people go to Disney?
Ethnicities.
Six.
How many...
I wonder the percentages.
Damn, those are very fine-tuned numbers you have there, Jeff.
Six.
No, no, sorry, seven.
No, I would be curious because they're always talking about Disney.
What difference does that make?
It's a white lash and it's an attack on white people.
Yeah, but...
I'm kind of curious.
Do more white people go to Disneyland?
Yes.
Of course.
It's a big European, at least Disney World.
And why is that?
It's a huge European...
Okay, first off, because 60% of the country is white.
But?
But it is realist.
I'm playing the role of media, mainstream media right now.
But what you're playing also is statistics, right?
So, when you look at socioeconomic breakdown of the country, right?
When you look at it broken down by race, the truth of the matter is, 60% of the country
is white.
And that means there are more people who are more well-off socioeconomically, which means
there are more people that are white that can afford Disney World and Disneyland than
the minorities.
That is purely statistical.
The stats.
That is not a...
Okay, well, Hispanics and blacks have no business being in Disney World because they don't have
money.
That's not what we're saying.
Nope.
And you know what?
There are plenty of wealthy Hispanics and blacks that do go to that park and can't afford
it.
And absolutely, right?
That's not what we're saying.
But, Paul...
It's a numbers game, is what I'm saying.
It is.
It's statistics.
You cannot apply fact and logic to idiots.
I know you can't.
I agree with that.
To wokeness.
They don't follow facts.
Correct.
Because...
It's not a matter of what's right or wrong.
It's a matter of, can they get away with it?
Right.
Correct.
So here's what I'm hoping.
I'm hoping that all this wah-wah shoots capitalism in their foot and Disney becomes a little
cheaper and more affordable to attend.
Because people boycott and don't go?
Yes, because...
It's extremely expensive.
And the people who boycott and can't go...
It's terribly expensive.
Can't afford to go.
It's crazy expensive.
I mean, how much does it cost for a family of four to go to Disney?
It's like $120 a day per ticket.
That's for the ticket.
That's just for the entrance to the park.
So we went 10 years ago.
Wow.
And it was five grand.
Ten years ago.
That's ridiculous.
Yep.
Ten years ago.
For a family of four.
How many days did you go?
We were there for six days?
Five days?
We were at the resort for I think six days and we had four day park hopper tickets.
Which means...
No, we didn't buy park hoppers.
We did.
I don't know.
It doesn't matter.
So you stayed...
First off, you stayed on the park, at the park, which is more expensive.
And it's the better way to go, by the way.
Well, if you don't stay on, then you're buying a car or Ubering.
That's right.
Which they didn't have Uber back then.
And then you get a fight to get in and...
And you have to pay to park, which is like $40, $50.
I've heard that a million times.
If you're going to go, make sure you stay on...
On campus.
On property.
Oh, on property.
Thank you.
On property.
Come on.
Get your terminology correct.
So that was a little bit more to do that.
But we had a kitchen, so we ate breakfast every morning.
And you had grilled cheese sandwiches.
No, we had eggs and bacon.
And baloney.
And sometimes we...
Lunch meat.
We have lunch meat at home.
Jeff is full of it.
Top ramen.
We're not eating out at the park.
We have lunch meat at home.
We had head cheese.
No, we didn't.
We did buy the meal plan.
Oh, nice.
Which, again, contributed to the cost of it.
Of course.
But you're still spending money on food.
Of course.
What was the meal plan?
So the meal plan basically...
Two meals a day.
Unlimited fries.
One that we bought was...
Free chips and salsa.
It was...
All you can eat all day long.
One snack.
Lemon chills.
One snack, one fast meal, and one sit-down meal.
What's a fast meal?
And they're all like...
Like a hamburger and fries.
Yeah, I was just saying.
And the food was like nothing to write home about, right?
It was nothing to write home about.
And...
Oh, the dinners were.
The entrees at night were.
Really?
Yeah.
And we had a party.
Party man.
Party.
Party man.
If we...
When we looked at it, I remember sitting at the cheeseburger and french fry restaurant
in Fantasyland.
Over there by Space Mountain, yeah.
Yeah.
It was...
It would have been for the four of us.
Right.
It would have been over $60.
For burgers and fries.
Right.
For lunch.
And it would have been with two kids' meals.
Two kids' meals, right.
Because apparently...
I'm thinking four adults at Whataburger, full meals, about $10 a piece.
Oh, Brandon.
$40.
Probably eight.
Oh, no.
The boys ate adult meals.
Yeah.
They were $10.80 or $8.60.
So that's not...
I mean, if you think about it, Whataburger for your family right now would cost $40.
But Whataburger for my family right now would fill my kids.
Oh, so they were tiny little portions and stuff?
Yes.
And they were like, I need more.
Yeah.
Oh, so they kept going.
They would turn and start looking at our food.
And it's like...
Back off.
I'm going to tell you, I love my children.
I would lay down my life for my children, but I will not give them my food.
Well, unless you're hungry, yeah.
I will not give them my food.
So you were like...
You had your fork hovering in the air and you were like, back off.
Yeah.
So I guess...
I do that today in their 19 and 21.
I like it.
Good for you.
I mean, I do that to Jeff.
You got to fight for your survival around those kids.
I mean, we probably could have saved $800 by going with a cheaper hotel.
And we probably could have saved $800 by going with a cheaper food option.
Well, like, cook everything yourself?
Yes.
That would have sucked.
Or pack a lunch.
There's ways to get around it.
Yeah.
But we have a five grand...
Ten years ago.
Actually, more ten years.
And what do you think it is now?
What do you think it is now?
That was 12 years ago.
I think it would probably be between eight and ten grand.
Really?
For a family of four.
That includes flights.
Holy shit.
That's crazy.
For six nights?
That includes flights.
That includes airfare.
Okay.
Airfare, flights.
Transfer from the hotel...
That's a lot of money, man.
That's a lot of money.
From the airport to the hotel.
I mean, when you stay on...
What was five grand?
All the way to the hotel.
That's a lot of money.
What was five grand for...
What did I say?
Mead Preston.
On property.
Austin.
For a week.
And Tahoe.
But you know what's crazy?
These places are packed.
They're packed.
So it's not like the country can't afford it.
They don't have to lower their prices because people pay it.
I know it.
How many times have we been?
How many times?
Well, we've been once.
Well, she and I have been a couple times, but as a family, we went once.
It was a one-time thing.
We've gone one time as a family.
Right.
That's it.
And we went to Disney World one time as a family.
And it was horrible.
It has no appeal to me.
I went to Disney World growing up with Girl Scouts.
My family never did it.
You'd enjoy it.
What?
Well, I mean, of course I would.
I mean, Sean is the happiest place on earth.
That's because they sell alcohol now.
They do.
Whoa, whoa.
But I tell you what.
At the end of that...
That changes everything.
Doesn't it?
At the end of a Disney vacation, you need a break.
Do they have a drink package?
Do they have Noah's Mill?
They have Greysons.
Is it Noah's Mill or Greysons?
I need to know.
Tell me now.
But seriously...
It's 84.
All you can drink Noah's Mill.
Yeah, in the middle of Disneyland, there's a Jactar Village.
I went during their... in the fall, they have their wine and dine thing at EBCOT.
And we went and we ran a half marathon and we stayed on property.
But you pay this exuberant amount of money to run a Disney marathon.
You paid money to run a half marathon.
I do that for everything, so we're not going to even touch that one.
But there was nothing above and beyond with that.
We got entrance...
So that's not true.
I'm lying.
The night of the marathon...
So you get on the bus at 4am to go run 13.1 miles around Disney parks.
Which is beautiful.
Which is great.
You have to do it at 4am because there's nobody there to get in your way.
Except all the other morons who don't know marathon etiquette.
Oh, okay.
Do they fart on you?
Like Sean just did?
It wasn't me.
You lifted your cheeks.
That wasn't me.
You lifted your cheeks?
That wasn't me.
He went...
Do you have confirmation on the chip leak?
No.
I may have lifted my cheeks, but I didn't fart.
That was probably your husband.
No, you lifted.
I watched you lift.
I may have lifted, but I did not fart.
Do we have a cheek lift or not?
Dude, I mean, I don't know.
We need to go back over the video.
I did lift my cheeks.
Mr. Producer, go back over the video footage.
We're going to confirm whether or not we have a cheek lift.
He doesn't remember.
He's just like, oh, I didn't do it.
First off, I'm not wearing pants.
It's just like Jeff and his burping farting.
He doesn't realize he doesn't.
Julie smelled the same thing I smelled.
I didn't smell anything.
Your ass.
God.
Wow.
How we get off track so fast.
We went from Disney to apples.
And this was your fault, Julie.
This was your fault.
It's probably Julie's breath.
No, he's the one who lifted.
Wow.
She's sitting right there.
She probably breathed this dreddinal direction.
I was like, oh, that's it.
There we go.
Nailed it.
He just threw down.
Now we're getting ugly.
I mean, if it's who stinks worse, it's all going to depend on where in the country we
are.
Right.
And if you want a half marathon.
If we're in a high elevation, I win.
Now, we weren't we weren't allowed to talk about this.
What?
You're not allowed to talk about it.
I can talk about it.
Where you guys stink the worst.
What are we talking about here?
Yes.
High elevation.
Yeah.
Anywho.
So over in Lake Tahoe, Julie's smell like death.
I mean, every time she left a room, it smelled like a refugee camp.
It was just really wretched.
I am not going to believe that.
I'm doing it.
So we talked about it last.
Imagine you guys were huffing and puffing and dying and sweating and taking from the
horse's mouth.
You were literally OK.
You just called your wife a horse.
I know bad.
He'll he'll he'll deal with that.
I'll deal with that later.
Yeah.
I'll make sure we don't have any questions.
I'll pay for that later.
But but this is why we don't have our wives.
Somebody's been naughty.
You're next.
Oh, I don't know.
Now we'll see how this goes with Julie and then I'll decide.
She's been on before it went.
It was good.
Is your little porta potty?
Yeah.
There was an awkward silence.
I love that.
We've never had that long a silence on this podcast.
It's like, those computing.
It was like, what?
What did he just say?
And did it make sense?
No, absolutely not.
I was thinking like the porta potty falling over.
Oh, you were, okay, well no,
I thought you were talking about the,
no you were, hold on.
I'm gonna give it to him.
Okay, go.
In Tahoe, yeah.
Yeah.
That's how bad it is.
It's deadly.
Yeah.
It's rough, I'll own it.
It's rough, she'll own it.
She'll own it.
I love that.
We need more podcasters that own it.
I was only exposed to a few exposures, but.
He's lying, we went to Colorado.
I still have the mustard gas burns.
That was just Preston that had to deal with Colorado.
I didn't go to Colorado.
Yeah, Preston did.
Yeah, that was Preston.
What was he doing in Colorado?
We went to the year before.
Preston has taken vacations with us since fourth grade.
Oh, you guys did the Pikes Peak.
We did a bunch of shit, but yeah, we did Pikes Peak.
Yes, we did.
There's all kinds of cool things to do in Colorado.
We did?
Yeah, we did Pikes Peak.
With Preston, they've got a Garden of the Gods.
I thought so.
We did Garden of the Gods, that's where they climbed.
Yeah, the boys climbed some rock formations.
Huge boulders.
Preston asked me on top of the rock.
High, like.
Like high, like everybody heard.
He asked if I could get him a change of pants.
Change of underwear.
And everyone started laughing.
Everybody heard.
Wow.
This wasn't like.
And it was a legit request.
He wasn't trying to be silly or funny.
It was legit.
No, he was being, you know.
He was being Preston.
But they were high up there.
Like.
Oh, I thought you were just saying.
No, Jeff took a picture of me.
Rocky Mountain.
High, Colorado.
Don't either of you kill that song.
But Jeff took a picture of me with the mountain.
Yes, with the mountain behind me.
OK, I'm looking.
Now.
So there's a small.
Zoom in on the mountain.
And there's little ants on the top of that mountain.
Zoom in.
There's the boys.
Keep zooming.
Yeah, there's.
The boulder.
There's one way in.
There's one ant that's hanging by his hands
on the edge of the mountain.
That's kind of awkward.
That was their rock climbing.
Did you see that big thing they were doing?
Oh, OK.
But yeah.
He was up there.
Of course.
And hollered.
That's what happened.
About needing a change of pants.
Julie, Julie, Julie.
I need pants.
So that's Preston, Stephen, and Brandon and their guide.
And they free climbed that.
And Preston and Stephen were bigger than the dude.
I mean, Brandon is always bigger than.
Of course.
Rock climbers are generally smaller, lean dudes.
That's how it works.
They repelled off the side of that.
Nice.
Down.
They repelled off the side?
They repelled down that side right there.
Oh, that's cool.
All the way down.
Yeah.
It was pretty cool.
How much that little thing cost?
Six bucks.
$5,000.
It didn't matter.
It was a once.
I mean, when we do these little trips,
we usually end up doing something that costs more
than what we would pay here locally.
It's memories.
But it's something that we're not going to do here locally.
It's memories.
I mean, unless it's white water rafting.
I love that.
I was at someplace today in Fort Worth, big boulders like that.
I love that shit.
Yeah.
Well, that Garden of the Gods, I mean, it was probably.
I mean, that rock is far away too.
So it doesn't look as high in that picture than it really was.
Right?
I was very impressed.
There's one of the features that stands out to me.
When I lived in Colorado, frankly, there's only really
one.
And it's that huge boulder where you can actually
climb up under it, where it's like can crush you.
I mean, it's a big boulder.
So one of these days it's going to break free
and crush someone?
Eventually.
It's one of those boulders.
It's like hanging by a thread at the bottom.
During the Ice Age, when it iced over,
when it freezes, it migrates over.
And it moves these big boulders.
And it had moved this boulder so much
that it had made itself round one.
And then two, when it finally had stopped,
you could literally crawl up.
It probably had a.
Is it balancing?
Probably a six foot in diameter.
The voice probably climbed it.
That was tangent to the ground.
Right.
All right?
Or cotangent.
But the circumference of the whole entire boulder was huge.
No, shining.
Like 25 foot.
Longer, though.
Diameter, it was like a huge boulder.
And you crawl in there.
It seems like it's going to crush you at any second.
It probably will.
It could.
That's what I remember from the.
That is your memory of Colorado?
No, of the Garden of the Gods.
Cotangent.
What?
Really?
He's out there with a protractor.
Sean, are they always like this?
Yes.
We're very disrespectful to Sean.
It's because mathematically, he struggles in that.
I do.
He says cosine.
He means sine.
What he meant was parallel.
No, I meant tangent.
I meant tangent.
That's exactly where I meant.
So what does tangent mean?
Well, tangent means that point where you have a line that.
Is tangent.
A tangent to a circle is a line that lies.
I nailed it.
Well, hold on.
And it dissects.
That intersects a circle at an exact one point.
It dissects perpendicularly the perniculum.
There you go.
You had to bring that up.
I did.
I'm sorry.
Because perniculum sounds very geometry-like.
It does.
It's very geometry.
The point of geometricity is the point at which the tangent
touches the circle.
Yes.
You have a round circle around the crotch area.
Sean, Austin, I'm sorry.
What?
I know.
It's outrageous.
For you and my husband.
What?
Yes, it's outrageous.
That's what I am apologizing.
For what?
Did you just fart again?
No.
I'm apologizing for their perniculum.
Talk.
Yeah.
You know what?
If you come to the podcast more often, or if you listen,
you'll come to realize there's nothing to apologize for.
This is normal.
Because we're all awful.
What comes around goes around.
All the time.
Yeah, we all get it.
It definitely comes around.
I can promise you this.
We can all agree that my vocabulary was correct.
A tangent.
Hold on.
Yes.
What do you mean this during this hot suck it?
Suck it.
No, you're supposed to do.
Not gag.
No, we're doing suck it, suck it, suck it.
No, that's to be fair.
I know.
Let's do that instead.
All right, I'm done.
OK.
All right, so we were talking about Disney.
Or did we move on from that?
No, we're doing Disney.
There's a lot of things from Disney we were talking about.
We're done.
Or were we?
Are we not done?
And also with you.
Well, we were talking about we were getting to Bad Batch.
I haven't even heard of Bad Batch.
I watched that at lunch today.
It's a, it was actually pretty good.
So do you recall in Disney where they have the Clone Wars?
The Stormtroopers.
Not to be included, not talking about the main movies.
They released a series of cartoons.
It was animated.
Yes, I know.
Animated Clone Wars.
OK.
And I never watched any of it.
It's basically the cloned soldiers,
which are Stormtroopers.
OK.
They reproduce these.
Oh, they were the first batch that was that.
Thousands and thousands of clones.
They had flaws.
Right, that's what I'm saying.
So they had flaws.
So they became their own little battalion.
They became a Bad Batch?
And it's actually good.
It's kind of an adult animation.
So it's good.
So it's like The Simpsons.
No.
Or North Park.
Like you would probably enjoy it.
South Park.
Yes, you would probably enjoy it.
Direction.
Because it's got a really good story.
But it's not silly, crude humor.
No, no, not at all.
Right.
No, it's animated, but it's a Star Wars story.
Have you seen the Clone Wars, the animation?
I've seen about 10 episodes.
I haven't watched all of it.
Is it similar?
It's exact.
So this is fantastic.
But this is more grown up, I think.
This is more adult.
What makes it more grown up?
Just the story and the topic.
Oh, damn.
What happened?
The story and the topic.
It's not a stupid cartoon.
So they talk about transgender and stuff like that.
Oh my god, do they talk about that?
Intersectionality.
Of course.
Very adult topics.
Did they have any two guys kissing in it?
Did they have every goddamn Netflix-fucking-sponsored
movie has to have two guys kissing in it?
It wasn't two guys kissing.
It was a guy that wants to be a girl kissing another guy.
It was actually a guy who wanted to be an alien.
A guy that wants to be an alien who identifies
as not a non-alien.
Gina Carano was rehired by Disney
after she identifies as an abusive male director.
And boom.
No, there's none of that.
No, no, no, no.
I didn't pick up any of that PC shit.
No, another one of the pieces of news
that I got today with my whole sleeping beauty.
What was the other Disney news I brought to the table?
I don't know.
I can't get over this headline.
You got to read it again.
Rehired by Disney after she identifies
as an abusive male director.
News at 11.
That's funny.
No, but Brian told me that she's going to be rehired.
They're going to rehire her.
No.
No, what's going to happen is she made an episode
with Bear Gryllis.
And when she got that was ferocious.
Julie, bless you.
Anyway, what happened is when she got canned
from The Mandalorian, she had it done a Bear Gryllis.
You know where he does that, when they take him way out,
and can you survive with me?
So she did an episode with them, and they
canceled that as well.
And what they've done over the last couple of days,
earlier this week, maybe last week,
is they reinstate it that and says, OK, we'll show it now.
Because I think they're starting to get a lot of pressure.
So it may ultimately mean she's back on The Mandalorian,
but not yet.
If I were her, I would give them the finger.
Are you kidding me?
So if Disney comes to her and says, hey, you're back.
She's got to have, look, she's lining up with new production.
I'd ask for some serious cash.
All of Star Wars fans want her.
I know, but she's lining up with new production companies,
and she's moving on to new figure moving on.
Oh, man.
I think there's plenty of opportunity,
but look, her fans want her to do another season or two
in The Mandalorian.
And you know what the best thing she could do
is give them the finger and have the fans of that bullshit
Disney give them the finger and be like, you know what?
This is their fault.
Lick your wounds, move on.
No way.
Probably what's going to happen is if they invite her back
and then kill her off is what would happen.
Probably, I could see that happening.
Well, and that would be respectful
and probably realistic, because she does die.
No.
I'd be very disappointed if she accepts this offer.
Because if they threw enough money at her,
she would do it.
Nope.
I still disagree.
I agree.
This is principle, 100% principle.
It is at this point.
And she is very principled.
So she's not a very principled woman.
She has been on record.
She made a post on Twitter about the vaccine.
She was just like, hey, man, why don't you
mail the vaccine to my house?
I'll administer it to myself.
And I'll send my little return paper back,
just like how we do voting.
Right.
Oh, yeah.
I'm telling you, she's very principled, man.
And so I would be shocked if she takes this deal.
So she's not back on the Mandalorian yet.
They're going to show the Bear Grillis, which
should be pretty good, because she's
pretty much of a badass.
What are you talking about?
Yeah, she's a UFC fighter.
Yeah, she's a badass, an American Gladiator.
So she's not back yet.
But they're slowly getting there.
OK.
Now, hold on.
Isn't this Bear?
Well, he's gotten busted himself.
Yeah, he stayed in a hotel.
Yeah, he looks like he's all remote.
But he's like, yeah, I'm in a hotel.
Yeah, he's like, oh, dude, it's cold out here.
We're going to go stay in a hotel tonight.
I don't know why I sound like a New Jersey guy,
but because he's Australian, right?
No, he's British, I believe.
Roar.
I remember I watched one where he was in the, obviously,
the desert.
And he split open a camel and climbed inside of it.
Oh, shut up.
No.
Like in Star Wars.
That reminds me of a.
Yes, he actually did it on the show.
The camel was alive.
No, he gutted it.
He killed a camel.
And then climbed inside of it.
How do animal rights activists not freak out on that deal?
I don't know.
He did it.
I saw that.
Not that I've seen a lot of his episodes.
He killed a camel, crawled inside of it.
They took pictures of it.
And then he went to the Hampton Inn.
Yes.
Well, he climbed in it.
And then they showed him climbing back out of it.
The hell, I went to go pee, and you guys are killing camels?
What the fuck's going on?
Grilled borellas.
Close.
Whatever.
Yeah.
So anyway.
I heard someone crawling in a camel.
Yeah, Barrett Grillas did that.
Kind of like Tom Tonnett, Luke Skywalker.
More like Jim Carrey.
I mean, what's.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah, very much like that.
He falls out the butthole.
That was at the rhino, right?
Yeah.
Yeah, he falls out the butthole.
No, that was an elephant asshole he was in.
No.
Well, he was in a rhino.
He was in a rhino.
Robotic rhino.
Why do I feel like this is a ace venture conversation?
Yeah, he gets really hot inside, and he tries to get out of there.
And it comes out the asshole.
I thought he was in an elephant ass as well.
I don't know.
Like it sat on him or something.
If Mr. Producer was paying attention right now,
he would be looking up.
I think we ought to just move on.
He would be looking it up.
But that's OK.
Hey, so can I tell about my traumatic Saturday night?
If you like.
Or is this a good time to lead into a break,
and then when we come back?
We got about 15 minutes.
That's perfect timing.
Oh, yeah.
Go into your story.
When my story is going to take longer than 15 minutes.
Well, no.
Actually, 15 minutes is a lot longer than you think.
It is, actually.
You were working.
This is very traumatic.
This was a baseball game.
We're not going to.
No.
Oh, this was a soccer game.
A soccer game.
A foosball.
Foosball.
No, foot.
Football.
It's rugby.
Soccer.
OK, soccer works.
So working the soccer game?
She was working it.
Nice.
What kind of game is this?
It's the pole.
She's working the pole.
Yeah, she distracted somebody, and this dude
walked into a door.
OK, hold on.
She's got limited time here.
Go.
All right.
She has 15 minutes.
Stop interrupting me.
I am not Paul, nor am I Jeff.
No interrupting.
She's going to command respect.
She does, too.
She has the power.
You're losing it quickly.
Go.
All right.
So gay men, they close the garage doors
that close our bar.
The steel curtain.
No, they were glass.
And one of them wouldn't close.
We originally thought it was because stupid people kept
trying to come in as the doors were closing.
That wasn't the case.
So they ended up calling maintenance.
Maintenance comes.
Two guys come.
They bring their ladder.
One of them goes up the ladder.
Hold on.
What are they doing?
They're trying to raise the doors?
Yes.
The door, one of the wheels was off track.
OK.
So hindsight's 20-20.
We now know the wheel was off the track.
OK.
So everybody's going about their business
because we have to do to close down the bar.
Yeah.
So I take the floor mat, and I go back around the corner.
And we hear this loud, gah.
So I come around.
And I'm like, careful.
You know, I'm looking around.
I see the guy standing a ladder back up.
I wash my hands.
And this all probably transpires in five seconds.
But it feels like 20 minutes.
Of course.
Because as I'm washing my hands or finishing washing them,
somebody says he's bleeding.
Somebody get a paper towel.
The guy that set the ladder back up and is getting back on it.
No, no, no, no.
There was two guys.
Oh.
One guy.
Number one picked up the ladder.
Guy number two was on the ladder.
Guy number two was not on the ladder.
Well, he started on the ladder.
Oh, so he just.
He fell off the ladder.
And he is where?
On the floor, bleeding.
Oh, profusely.
And the other guy.
Well, it is the one.
The show must go on.
He had a hang now.
Who is the one who said, he's bleeding.
Somebody get a paper towel.
Well, I'm a mom, and training goes to the extreme.
Right.
Just kind of get a tissue, lick it, and stick it on there.
Why a tissue?
Lick your thumb.
Did you do that?
No.
I grab these professional paper towels that we have.
Not the brown pieces.
The non-absorbent.
Heavy duty stuff.
Bounty paper towels.
Very absorbent.
Very.
So I grab this pile, and I go running,
because there's blood, and somebody help.
Was it like the Lara Croft?
So slow motion?
Yes, because she had this thing going on.
To and fro.
They were going to and fro.
So I get there.
I'm so bad.
So I get there.
And every TV show.
Every TV show that.
She's got nothing on me.
Every TV show you've ever seen.
What y'all can't see is Jeff smiling very proudly.
I know.
TV show you've ever seen, somebody gets shot.
The pool of blood just slowly gets bigger and bigger.
So he's literally still laying on the ground.
He's still laying on the ground.
I am watching said pool of blood get bigger and bigger.
What the heck?
He has a gash across the back of his head, and it is bleeding.
Now head wounds bleed.
They do.
Head wounds bleed.
Did you ever find out what the head bounced off of?
We did not find out what his head bounced off of.
There was a screwdriver nearby.
There was a table with corners.
There was the ladder, of course.
There was a trash can.
Was there a hot dog tray that you needed to clean?
There was not.
And I wouldn't have needed to clean it, because I don't do
food.
I just do beverages.
So I grab his head.
Nice.
You poked my eyeball out.
I probably poked his eyeball out too.
So you're keeping him from bleeding to death?
Yes.
Did you have to pull his head out?
No, really.
Did you have to piece his head back together?
All I did.
Was there meat?
You're holding his head.
I am holding his head, because there was a lot of blood.
There was an astounding amount of blood.
So you were trying to apply pressure.
I was applying pressure.
And he's trying to wiggle away from me, because I'm holding
his head so tightly.
Because he's like, dude, chill, woman.
You're being crazy.
Because it hurts.
There was a lot of blood.
And he fell off a ladder.
Six feet.
He thinks he's OK.
And we're like, and the other maintenance guy is like,
Jeff, you've got to be still.
You've got to be still.
Those guys are stupid.
So his name was Jeff.
We underplay everything.
Yes, and one of the first things I asked him,
did you lose consciousness, is I'm holding his head.
I'm crushing his head.
I'm holding it so hard.
Yeah.
Hanz and Franz.
Yeah.
Blood, or gloveless.
So she's now nice.
So you now have COVID.
Boy, I found a nickel.
What, bloodless?
No, gloveless.
Can you spread COVID by brain?
She's already had it.
I had COVID already.
I wasn't really worried.
So wow, Jeff.
Do you know what?
That's just rude.
What's going on?
So I'm holding this guy's head.
His birth show was as violent as a sparse.
I'm holding his head.
And people start coming, and they're like, where are the gloves?
Where are the gloves?
And they're putting on the gloves,
and they're holding them on top of my hands.
And they're like, OK, we got it.
We got it.
And I'm like, no, no, I'm good.
Thanks.
No, it's OK.
Then put gloves on.
I'm like, no, I'm good.
I'm already bloody.
Yeah.
I mean, I got blood all the way up to my head.
And you're keeping his brain inside of his skull
at this point.
I don't know, but there was so much blood.
He was freaking you out.
It really kind of was.
And I mean, we're now on Tuesday,
and I'm still dwelling on this.
I don't blame you.
That's creepy.
They called, and they said, we need the EMTs to come down here.
Well, they're already gone.
They're no longer on site.
Now, the whole where exactly are y'all conversation
felt like it went on way too freaking long.
What are you talking about?
911.
Boom.
So it took 15, 20 minutes.
What felt like 15, 20 minutes?
It could have been five.
That's a long time, though.
It doesn't matter.
I'm standing here crushing his skull.
But he did finally wiggle to the point
where I did have to let go of his forehead,
but I'm still pressing the back of his head.
So now he's sitting like this.
Was he like, I'm good.
Get off me.
Or was he like freaking out?
He wasn't freaking out because he
didn't see how much blood was on the floor.
And so his peers like, dude, you have to stop moving.
You have to be still.
And so the more people that got there, they're like, sit still.
Sit still.
So he started listening.
He did.
But it was really funny because they said,
who's the president?
And everybody started laughing.
I want to know what the look on his face was.
But I heard, yeah, that guy.
Donald J. Trump.
Fucking Biden.
Donald J. Trump.
All I heard was, yeah, that guy.
You want the real one or the fake one?
That guy?
Somebody said it.
I don't know.
I couldn't see who was talking.
So they said Harris?
I don't know.
Anywho.
Come out, Harris.
So.
Stacey Abram.
EMT finally gets there.
They're like, OK, let go.
Let go.
And I'm like not letting go until they're standing right there.
Right.
Until they take over.
But as you process through things,
I've realized that his head was not bleeding
when I moved my hand.
Nice.
You saved his life.
I stopped the bleed.
Yes, of course.
You apply pressure.
That's what you do.
Because you crush your skull.
I did.
I crushed a skull.
I thought it was a good workout, too.
It was.
And at some point in time, somebody said.
Were you sore today?
I was sore on Sunday, yes.
Literally from holding his head?
Well, with that compression.
Tension as well.
And I was leaning over.
Tension.
So somebody said, somebody give him something to lean against.
So I moved my body behind him so he could lean against me,
all the while trying not to slip on all of the blood that's
all over the frickin' floor.
You're basking in it.
Basking.
It was like a cult ritual.
So much blood everywhere.
Then she got nude and rolled around.
Wow, nice.
Did you make it into the ritches?
That's exactly what you do in a cult ritual.
Did you make wishes?
Yeah.
No.
Especially when you don't have to pay for the blood.
So what's the verdict today?
So Sunday, I text.
I'm like, do we know how Jeff's doing?
And it takes a while because several people
had to be texted.
They did a CT scan.
It was normal.
Right.
They gave him some staples and sent him home.
And they said there's some abnormal handprints
on his skull.
Front and back.
You have handprints on your forehead.
You have handprint impressions on the actual skull.
Looks like someone sent their nutsack on your forehead.
He is bruised from my glove.
I guess better to be safe than sorry, right?
Because if you just would have let him there,
he probably would have bled out.
Yeah, maybe.
I thought there was so much blood coming out.
Well, it definitely would have been difficult.
Did they say how big the gash was?
The game is about seven foot tall.
You said staples, right?
Staples.
Oh, yeah.
That's what they do to the head, though.
Is that this big or is it that big?
Could you see a skull?
Could you like?
So I think this whole thing goes.
How many staples?
I think this whole story goes back to brain.
Don't drink while you're at work.
No, head wounds just bleed a lot.
That's all.
They really do.
No big deal.
So here is exactly.
Don't drink while you get on the lottery.
It'll clot.
All right, well, that was a great story.
But it took more than 15 minutes.
I told you.
It did not.
It took 14 minutes.
Hey, you know, before we get off this,
why would the FBI choose or we ever not to take?
We were not on the FBI.
Why would the FBI choose not to take the hard drives
from the laptop of Hunter Biden?
From Giuliani?
Because they don't want the evidence.
They take everything else.
You know why.
Even though it said on the warrant, take all devices.
You know why.
Because then it's an evidence and it's official.
And guess what?
And that can be the conversation that
starts the second half of the show.
Guess who it harms?
Yeah, that guy.
Bidden.
It was rhetorical.
What I was told was he went to the hospital last night,
CT scan was good, got some staples,
and he went home last night.
Excellent.
Well, that's a story that ends well.
For him, I'm like traumatized by it.
I think you need to see him again.
I am.
I am seriously traumatized by this.
I think you need to see him and see that he's OK.
Because she prevented it.
She saved his life.
I mean, there's a lot that could have happened.
There is a lot that could have happened.
You lose too much blood.
There's a lot of things that can happen.
I agree.
How many pints of blood do you have in your body?
11.
7.
6.
What the fuck is going on here?
I went with 7.
Producer, I went with 7.
I believe there's 8.
You said 6.
No, no, no.
You said 6.
I said 11.
I believe there's 8.
8 pints of blood.
You think there's 8.
Yeah.
All right, we're going to end this segment with how many
pints of blood there are in a human body.
And if we all underbid, I think we should.
I told you, 8.
No.
Well, we have a problem.
The average man, 10 pints.
We have a problem.
Hold on, there's a range here.
8 to 10.
Chicks have 6 to 7.
Time out.
I said 7.
I'm out.
You said 6.
You're out.
You said 11.
You're out.
I said 8.
So looking at this.
Bingo.
Sean wins this segment.
But no, I win it because I've donated 19 gallons.
It doesn't matter.
There's no difference between men and women.
So shouldn't they all carry the same amount of blood?
No, because women.
But there is.
Women's body has 6 to 7.
6 to 7 pints.
Because I identify as a woman.
Yeah.
So now I only have 6 pints because I'm a girl.
OK.
Hold on.
It has to do with weight.
And the guy that fell off the ladder also
identifies as a woman.
So I win, 7.
His name was Jeff, and he was 50 years old.
Oh, that's like me.
Oh, that sounds just like me, too.
There's a little bit of why I'm traumatized.
That was his name.
Since he identifies as a woman, Jeff, and you and I are right.
Because you said 6.
I said 7.
Both of you are wrong.
And this ends this segment.
Where's the music?
So I win.
But how many pints of blood do you need to lose?
How many pints?
Do you think it was like one pint?
Probably.
At least a pint.
Yeah.
You could probably lose two.
Maybe we do that investigation to say, how much blood
can you lose before you die?
I drink a pint of goat's blood every week.
And it's a lot.
It's more than you think.
Where do you harvest these goats?
Is it the goat blood from?
Where I harvest it from?
Yeah.
Your neighbor?
Do you have a neighbor that has the goats?
What?
Is there a goat farm next to the church?
I go to goat.com.
And they directly ship by the UPS.
All right.
We'll be back.
Wow.
Wheels off on this segment, by the way.
We were all over the place.
All over the place.
We had a hundred and, I don't know where the function bottle
was.
We had 119.4 proof shot.
And we followed it with water.
With water.
100.1.
No, we didn't.
And beer.
Hey, we got to gather ourselves for the next segment
because that was out of control.
Got it.
All right.
We'll see you.
We'll be back.
Yeah.
Whatever.