Are we live? Not yet. All right. Holy shnikes.
It's not as loud. Or is it just my ears? I don't
know. Sounds fine to me. Seems fine to me? Yeah,
I think it's just my ears. You been sick? You
got a little pressure? Possibly, man. My whole
frickin' body is just kind of jacked up. Plus,
this weekend I drank a little bit more than...
Been recommended. That's a good way to put it.
Above the recommended daily allowance. Daily.
More like the weekly. What is the recommended
daily allowance of alcohol? Zero. It depends
on who you talk to. Oh, well, that's bullshit.
Yes. Well, all right. So, yeah, this weekend
we had some fun. I mean, Friday you went out
to a wedding. I did a wedding on Saturday. What
did you do, Paul? Snuggled? I have no idea. You
don't even remember? I don't remember. Chuck
was my, Chuck's my hero. He came and rescued,
he sent his two sons after me to pick up my wife
and I. Nice. Worked out pretty good. Didn't we
watch the Stars game? Wasn't that Saturday? That
was Saturday, yeah. That was Saturday. Okay,
yeah, that's what I did. And the Stars won game
seven, man. For the first round. What a game.
I wish I would have watched it. I haven't seen
any. I need to make sure, because I want to get
into hockey. Okay, well, then you need to watch
this next series. Well, I know. It's just I don't
think about it. Okay, well, I'll remind you.
Because I tell you what, man. First of all, being
at a wedding is bittersweet. It could be fun.
It could be boring. When it's a great venue,
and you got a lot of stuff going on, and the
last game, series game seven is playing, and
you're sitting at the table after dinner, and
the women are all up dancing and frolicking and
doing their shit, and you've got your phone out,
and you could totally tell all the dudes were
sitting there with their phones out watching
the game. You should have brought your iPad.
Nice big screen. You all could have huddled around
it. And it was open bar. Oh, yeah. Surround sound.
Don't forget the open bar bar. Any good bourbons?
They had Jack Daniels. Any good bourbons? Well,
you know what? Look, you had to pick your battles
at a certain point because, you know, it was
an expensive thing. And, you know, I had a lot
of bourbon and sodas. And whatever. It was fun.
So it was a Dudes Like Us moment. It's the first
half of our May 6th. I cannot freaking believe
it's May already. Yep. Yes. It blew right into
it. Yeah. It's May 6th. First half. I got to
wake the fuck up. I took a she legit. She legit.
Oh, yeah. Hopefully it gets me pumped up pretty
soon. Check us out on dudeslikeus -podcast on
both Instagram and Facebook. Thank you, Chuck,
for staying in tune with what the fuck we got
going on today, which we got some cool stuff
coming up. We do. I'm excited. We got... We have
the Advent bourbon coming up on the second half,
but the first half is it's an oldie. It's an
oldie, but goodie. Dudes, I got some Sean. I'm
Paul. And I'm Jeff. Yeah, I need one of these,
whatever you're taking, because I'm not feeling
it right now. Yeah. I'll give you one. No, that's
okay. It looks like a wombat turd. It's fine.
It's legit. It's all natural organic. It is.
Yes. Wombats poop cubes. Yeah. It's not. Yeah,
but this isn't a poop cube. Yeah. And they shit
in cubes. Isn't that remarkable? Yes, they shit
cubes. Yes, they do. Square apples. Nature is...
I don't know if it's square apples. I don't know
the reasoning behind... They have a hexagon.
Cubic shits. Maybe it's some sort of gravitational
magnetism thing. Does it look like one of those
Play -Doh things? Yeah, you squish it and it
comes out in any shape you want. It comes out
like a... Oh, a little pinch in the end. Like
a little bullion. It's a cube. Like a bullion
cube or like chicken or beef. Why does it make
that noise in your version of it? Yeah. Yes.
Okay. That's interesting. All right. So, yeah.
Yeah. The Stars, game one tomorrow night. So,
be ready. So, who are they playing? Winnipeg.
They are playing Winnipeg. Winnipeg Jets. Yes.
And they're the ones who ended the season really
strong because they beat up on the Stars. as
a matter of fact, but the Stars were struggling.
Oh, they lost seven, sliding into the playoffs.
Yes, but Winnipeg struggled with St. Louis in
the first round, so maybe it was a fact that
the Dallas was struggling more than Winnipeg
was that much better, right? So I was afraid
because, again, I don't follow hockey. Well,
they were both game sevens. They were both great
game sevens. As a matter of fact, did you see
how the Winnipeg game ended? Well, they— They
were down 3 -1 in the third. Yes. And they ended
up being— scoring the tying goal with 1 .6 or
1 .7 seconds left. 1 .7 seconds left. I mean,
and, oh, the Blues were just, they were, anyway,
went into double overtime, and then the Blues
lost. Unbelievable. Talk about a collapse. How
do you come back for that? I don't know. You've
got to be emotionally just stunted at that point.
That goalie, just like, fuck. They need to bring
in a counselor for the whole team. Yes. Because
I can't imagine how upset they are. I wonder
if that's covered under their insurance plan.
Probably. But, yeah, awful. Anyway, some good
hockey coming up. So, yeah, we'll definitely
tell you, Jeff. All right. Start tomorrow. Yeah,
tomorrow. Start tomorrow. Tomorrow, Wednesday.
Yeah, game one. Game one. Another seven -game
series. Well, that's good because my wife is
out of town. When? Tomorrow? No, she left this
morning. And when does she return? Sunday. So
I will be able to watch. You're going to get
in a couple games. So they play Wednesday, Friday,
and Sunday for the first three games. So I'll
be able to catch a couple of those. So we're
on the road. 3 .30. Oh, that's right. Oh, that's
3 .30 on Sunday. So we start out on the road
for the first two games. Correct. Yes. Exciting.
So they got home court advantage, so to speak,
right? They have four of the seven games. They
have court. What is it called? Home ice. Is it
a pitch? It's not a pitch. That would be soccer.
You know what? I was flipping around the TV channel
downstairs and I happened to come across a professional
cricket game. I understand absolutely zero about
cricket. It's interesting. I know it's a huge
Brit, Australian, India game. Australian, yeah.
And I was watching it. It was the very start
of it. And the production value is great. I mean,
it was just like football. Oh, of course. Major
League Baseball. It was in a big stadium over
in India. And I watched, I don't know, 15, 20
minutes of it, listening to the announcers. And
I couldn't make heads or tails. I kind of understood,
okay, he's, I don't think they call it, he's
not pitching the ball. I think they call them
spinners, maybe. Bowler. Or whatever. Yeah. And
they put spins on these balls, and the outfield,
or whatever they call it, basically surrounds
the infield where the batters are. I don't even
know what they call them, because there's two
of them. Right. And then he bowls to one, and
then if he hits it, they run back and forth.
Correct. And I think you score points that way,
I guess. Yeah, runs. They call them runs. Yeah.
But the way these guys throw the ball, they put
spins on it, because that ball can go anywhere.
Right. Because this guy hit it, and it went behind
him. Right. And a guy caught it, and everybody,
they called it a wicket. Correct. So the goal
of the pitcher or bowler is to knock the wicket.
So the batter is doing two things. He's protecting
the wicket from getting destroyed by the pitch
or by the ball, and he's also trying to get a
good hit so he and his teammate can get runs.
Well, no, it didn't hit that post. Is that what
they call the wicket? That's the wicket. It didn't
hit that. The guy hit it with his paddle or bat
or whatever. And it went straight backwards.
Right. Like a fly ball. And a guy caught it.
They don't have gloves or anything. So I don't
know what that ball is. I think my understanding
is they can hit it, deflect it in any direction.
And they can get runs off of that. Yes. Yeah.
It's a 360 kind of thing for the batter. Correct.
But the point is the batter is trying to protect
the wicket. He wants to make sure that it doesn't
get broken apart. But they called it a wicket.
Because a big old. Hold on. So this thing falls
apart? Yeah. It's like three little posts that
have like a. It has like a connector on the top.
Like a China set on top? Just like a China set.
That's what I was going to describe it. Just
like that. No, seriously, if the ball hits it
and it breaks the wicket apart, I think it basically
batters out. Game over? What the hell is going
on? What is a wicket? Is it like a birdie? Can
you bring up some pictures? It's like three little
posts. And, you know, and again, the bowler is
trying to knock apart the wicket. He's not trying
to, you know, I don't, well, I mean. He's also
trying to not let the batter get a great hit
off of him. Right. But at the same time, his
goal was ultimately to knock that wicket apart.
There it is. Well, he throws it. Oh, so it's
designed to come apart. Yes, it's designed to
come apart. Oh, kind of like bowling. Like bocce
ball. But they throw it and they bounce it in.
Oh, yeah? And they take a running start for one
thing. Again, I don't understand it at all. And
they're like. flipping their, all these people,
all these players, like these two guys, these
fielders. Right. They're like so close. I mean,
if that ball comes ratcheting off of there, he's
going to get beamed right in the face. I mean,
it's a dangerous sport. There are kids that have
been killed. Yes. And the ball is solid. It looks
like a cue ball. Like a croquet ball. It is super
solid, man. Yeah. They don't have gloves. It's
heavy. Yes, they don't have gloves. And they
don't have protection for the most part. Yeah,
see, there's a field right there. So basically,
your field is all around. Yep. And then, again,
I don't know what they call them. The batter
is running between those two posts, the wickets.
They call it a batsman, yeah. Yeah. Well, look,
Paul is like an expert. So you'd be the authority
on this. Well, I spent five years in Indonesia,
right? I'm not sure it's an ew moment. It was
more like an ew, ew. no anyway so i mean so yeah
it was i mean it wasn't a sport that they necessarily
played there and i watched there but we went
on vacation to australia and we the whole the
whole region the whole state was shut down because
it was a massive tournament like you were talking
about and um and i was like what is going on
like all the stores were closed and everything
and they were all it was a massive cricket tournament
and so we watched it on tv and we kind of got
to learn about it Yeah, but these guys, they
whip that ball. That's a video game. That is,
yes. Oh, okay. I was like, what's up with that
hat? See, he knocked off one of the wickets,
right? So the goal of the bowler is to hit that
wicket. Yeah. Well, that batter sucks. Now, at
the same time. Right. So the ball could go on
either side. There's no strike zone or anything.
No. So the ball, notice that, well, at least
that was a video game. And by the way, the same
batter can bat for like three days. Yeah, they
can be really long matches. Yeah, because he's
great at protecting the wicket, and he bats and
bats and bats and gets like 67 runs. So hold
on. So when he hits it, he basically has free
reign to run back and forth until someone gets
the ball back to a certain area? Yeah, that part
I'm a little confused about. I don't know if
it's kind of like, you know how in baseball,
they run to home plate? They run to home plate,
and then they slide and have to be tagged. I
don't know what the situation is in cricket.
If they don't make it back by a certain point,
or maybe they throw it, and if they knock apart
the wicket before they get back to the base,
I don't know how that part works. That doesn't
make sense. Yeah, I don't know how that... So
there's a lot of unknowns. See, that ball curved,
hit the ground, and then bounced. Yeah, they
don't mess around with their ability to move
that ball. That's for sure. Is this like baseball
where they can take a hidden little spatch of
tar and put it on their fingers? They can scuff
the ball? Scuff it, do whatever. Can the paddlers
use pine tar? Pine tar? I don't know. These are
all great questions. Anyway, I mean, it's interesting.
The reason I did this is because they're building,
as far as I know, an indoor cricket field here
in Frisco. Why? Why do you think? Is there a
demand? Let's give him one guess. Go ahead, Sean.
It was a rhetorical why. I know, I know. It's
just like, that's the same reason there's a badminton,
indoor badminton as well. Oh, I like badminton.
Yes, we could go play. It's supposed to be like
one of the fastest sports. It's no ping pong.
Yeah, see, they can smack the shit out of the
ball. It's like a double game because all they
have to do is protect the wicket or they can
choose to smack the shit out of the ball. See,
it went backwards. Yes. Ah, there we go. They
just answered it. So if they get the ball back
before they're back in their box, then it's an
out. Oh, he's over. Oh, they're going through.
Okay, so we're watching a video of the different
rules. And damn, man, you can get a lot of runs
if you get that ball loose. They knock it around
the park, which is a round field, I guess. It
is. It's a round field. Look at that thing. Can
you imagine being in the stands? Can you knock
it out? Yeah. Can you imagine being in the stands
trying to catch that thing? Yeah, you'd be knocked
out dead. That's harder than a baseball, it looks
like. Oh, man, that's insane what these guys
can do, though. We're watching videos back to
back of these guys playing cricket. It's pretty
cool, man. Well, I don't know. It's argumentative.
Part of it's kind of cool now that we're seeing
some of the dynamics of the wicket in the back
of it. Never realized that existed. I didn't
know that was part of it. These are talented
athletes just like any of the sports that we
watch. Well, I can tell you that the... There
were two teams from India, and they were half
Australian, British, half Indian players. Oh,
yeah. So it's probably just professional, right?
If you're good, just like soccer. And they make
a shit ton of money. I see that the batters actually
wear some pads on their knees. Oh, yeah, you
get shit, dude. And some of those guys have gloves.
Look at that. Some guys have face protection.
Yeah, that ball is hard. It's a really hard ball.
And they curve that, and it bounces, and who
knows where it's going to bounce. It's pretty
interesting. Yeah, I wouldn't mind watching this
sometime. So you said you were watching it on
TV, huh? Yeah, it was on TV. It had some weird
names on there, and I was like, well, what is
that? I was like, oh, it's cricket. So I tuned
it in for a little bit. Well, we're in the dregs
of sports right now, aren't we? Yes, cricket.
Cricket, cricket. Well, sooner or later, I'm
sure Frisco's going to have a local cricket team,
so we can go watch them, I guess. And they're
going to build a cricket stadium. Yeah, they're
going to go renovate Toyota Stadium again. Make
it round. Yeah. I don't know, man. I know. I
don't want to talk about it. All right. Well,
good. It isn't. Well, that topic was not on the
board. It was not. Yeah, it doesn't matter. You
know, but it does bring up the ugh and the oh
and oh. And you know what? It's just like you
want to say it, but you're like, am I a racist
because I say it? But it's kind of like, you
know. Because there's a bunch of Australians
here. We are inundated by Australians, man. Because
it's kind of like when you come from another
country, you're supposed to simulate into this
country. Well, they have played cricket over
here before. Yeah. Okay. If you were to list
the top 100 sports in the United States, that
would be on the bottom. Could be. But you get
what I'm saying. You're playing devil's advocate.
But I'm just saying, I mean, it goes against
the grain of what's going on. I get it, but it's
kind of like, you know, this has been a thing
for everywhere. Well, it's just like soccer.
Soccer's not big here. It's huge everywhere else.
It's probably what? It's true. It's probably
the fourth sport, right? If you say that. Football's
number one. Football, baseball, basketball, hockey,
soccer. That's good. That's all we need. Probably
fifth. Okay. So, I mean, you know, then we just
started adding. No, no, no. I would say soccer
is bigger than hockey here. Maybe in Dallas.
If we're talking about like kids sports, obviously
soccer is bigger than hockey. Well, I'm thinking
professional. You're thinking professional. Yeah,
I get that. I get that. And then I would agree
with that. Yeah. So you could probably search
what are the top things. Pickleball? There you
go. I mean, where does pickleball come from?
Is that some dude? Is that kind of like the Mormon
religion? It was just kind of made up? Yes, it
was. Believe it or not, pickleball's been around
a long time. When I was in elementary school
in Indonesia, we played pickleball. Before it
ever was a thing here, I think. So it was an
Indonesian sport? No, but I mean, it was played
overseas. So I guess, I don't know where it came
from. I don't know what the, what is the background
of pickleball? I have no idea where that came
from. You know there's a place right there off
of 121, just south of 121 by Alma, called Chicken
and Pickle? Chicken Pickle. You can go play pickleball
and get some fried chicken. That's right. All
right. Originated in 1965 in Washington. All
right. More than 50 years of fun. Interesting.
Okay. Let's see. Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.
All right. It was named after a dog. Now it's
got 36 million players. Yeah, no, it's definitely
the sport of choice among aging adults. Yep,
and it's featured on the Ocho ESPN 8. Oh, really?
Did you watch the video of where I said it's
going to be the next Olympics? Probably. What
was it? The pizza tossing. The pizza tossing.
It was like rhythmic gymnastics, but with pizza
dough. I stayed with it way too long, and it
kept going and kept going. It almost became interpretive.
Yeah. I saw that. I was like, give it time. They
had freaking break dancing, and they have dancing
with ribbons. Why can't you have pizza dough?
Right. He was doing the same thing. You know
how when you stumble on one of these things that
are supposed to be funny, it says, wait for it?
Oh, yeah. Well, I did wait for it. And it never
happens. I eventually was like, okay, okay, enough.
It's like a five -minute video. I know. It never
happens. And he was flipping the pizza between
his legs and flipping around in the air. And
I was like, okay, I can't do that. I get it.
But I would never be in a pizza throwing or pizza
tossing, whatever. Anyway. Well, you wouldn't
be an arrhythmic gymnast, anything. Generally,
no. With the ball or the hoop? Not really my
strength. Yes. So. Yeah, I can't do it. They
look good, but. No wonder the order is taking
so long. Come on, man. No shit. Quit playing
with my dough. You're doing that at Domino's.
You see them outside. They show any meat slicing
and little pepperonis on there. No, it was just
dough tossing. Just dough tossing. Whatever.
I mean, what's next? They're going to start spinning
towels on their fingers. I mean, it's like stupid
human tricks. I mean, it's just like the David
Letterman show, the top 10 stupid human tricks.
Well, what gets me is it was a full competition,
which means. A whole bunch of judges. Yeah, and
a crowd. And I was like, so that means this is
something somewhere. I don't even know where
it took place. So they actually practiced this,
and someone actually developed it, I guess. Oh,
we got to do a whole contest of this. Pizza tossing
or whatever the hell it's called. Yes. Ridiculous.
I know. You can make a competition out of anything.
United States pizza team. Pizza team. Are you
kidding? On the Ocho. United States pizza team.
There you go, Sean. Oh, he's double fisted it.
Oh, he's got two pizzas. Show off. Now, is that
an extra large pizza? Is that a personal pan
pizza? So, is this more of a sport or the cornhole?
Does this take more skill or does cornhole take
more skill? Or dodgeball? You know what's sad
about cornhole? I think it just takes more skill.
I was flipping around. Oh, I think it does too.
I was flipping around and I was on cornhole.
And the way these guys are so serious about it.
Just made me want to vomit. They were all intense
and chest bumping each other. I was like, okay.
Did they have a glove on so they could throw
it without any friction? You're talking about
the cornhole? Yeah. Like the bowlers wear? And
then it was like Oregon against Arizona, like
college. This is NCAA collegiate. He's trying
out for some professional. He's going to get
some backing here. Endorsed by Nike. I mean,
come on. I think that goes to, and I know this
is big, and I'm probably going to hurt some feelings,
but. Oh, boy. Is there. The competition for podcasters?
No. Is fishing a sport? Oh, what do you mean?
Like large mouth bass fishing. 100%. Well, I
know, but. They have tournaments all the time.
I know, but. Well, there's something to be said
for it. I don't get it, but I've got a friend.
His name is Randy. I think you make a shit ton
of money off of it. Yeah, you can make some money
off it. But isn't it luck? Look, I've got a friend.
His name is Randy Short. I've known him for a
very, very long time, before I even met you.
I mean, it was a long time ago. And I don't hang
out with him. He's got his own thing going on,
roofing company and stuff. But he tells me anytime
I want to go fishing, and I was like, dude, really?
He says, look, if you go with me, I can show
you how to fish, and you can catch a fish. I
don't know what the hell he's talking about,
but... The proof is in the pudding because on
his Facebook page, he goes out and he's coming
back with all these record -breaking fish everywhere
he goes. So there's got to be some sort of...
talent, not necessarily where you're taking your
rod and you're throwing it in the water and you
try to pull it up, but maybe it's where in the
lake. Maybe you're looking for dark spots, deep
spots. Well, they all have their computers and
radar. Fish finders. Fish finders. They all have
that. Well, that's true, too. I don't know if
that's part of it, but it could be. Well, that's
part of it, but they also know, like with these
competitions, or they know the lakes, and you
see these guys, they have these boats, these
$100 ,000 boats that go 800 miles an hour, so
they can be the first one there. And they scout,
they know, all right, I'm going there because
it's this time of day, this temperature, boom.
Yeah, they know all the parameters. Yeah, just
like any good sport person. But I mean, I would
think the top 50 guys or top 10 guys all have
the same, you know, they know all the tricks.
Correct. And then ultimately, it's whoever has
a big fish that decides to eat. Bite the lure.
I mean, you know what I mean? I mean, you're
right. There is a part of, I think, luck to it.
There is skill. Yeah. There's skill in getting
yourself in the right position. Well, you have
to pick the correct lure. Yes. You have to anticipate
what the species is there and what's going to
pull that species out and grab your lure. Like,
what type? There's all kinds of different types
of spinners. Oh, there's a million. There's surface
ones, there's frogs. Well, also how to hook the
fish, right? I guess. You know, you have to time
it, and you hook it, and you reel it in. Right.
I'm sure we're not... They've got these cool
robotic fish lures now. Well, no, robotic, meaning
they... Does it go to the fish and, like, jump
on them and hook them? It moves like a fish.
It's like a ballistic lure. So when you let it
sit there, it'll do, like, little circles. So
you basically set it in the water, drop it down
there, and it'll do, like, little two -foot circles.
and kind of swim around itself really slow, and
the light hits it just right, and it's got a
little reflective thing going on. It's pretty
sophisticated. I saw a video of a guy catching
a paddlefish in Missouri, I think, and these
things are huge, and you don't catch them the
standard way. You actually snag them. He goes,
they're not going to bite your lure or whatever.
You actually have this hook. and this contraption,
and you have these radar, and you see them, and
you kind of go by, and you try to snag them on
the side. And you strafe them. Yeah, you hook
them on the side, and then you reel them up,
and they're huge fish. I mean, 200 -pound things.
These humongous paddlefish you find in the rivers
and lakes up there in Missouri. Yeah, I think
we're not giving these fishermen their due, right?
I'm sure it's incredibly complicated, a ton of
experience and all that kind of stuff. But when
I think of sports, I'm thinking of physical exertion.
Is it more along the line of chess? Yeah, yeah,
yeah. Or something like that. Cerebral and physical,
perhaps. It's a competition. Yeah, you're out
there in the elements, but are you exerting a
lot of energy? Right. Is that kind of like speed
walking? Correct. Jazzercise walking. Have you
ever seen that video? I have. I think you've
sent that to us a few times. She had that huge
camel toe. A couple times. That was more like
a hoof. Yeah, it was kind of. Wow. Yes. I think
her liver was in there. I've got something I
want to follow up, mostly with Jeff, because
he seems to be pretty knowledgeable on this.
But, you know, first of all, happy single -to
-mile day. So we were sitting in our kitchen
eating taco bueno last night, my wife and I.
And we're like, oh, Cinco de Mayo. And I was
like, oh, la, la, la, la, la, la. And I told
her, I was like, you know, Cinco de Mayo, that's
kind of a made -up holiday anyways. I mean, it's
not really. It is. It's an Americanized holiday.
Yes, there's an event that occurred. No one celebrates
it over in Mexico. Except the people perhaps
in Puebla. In Puebla. And outside of that, nowhere
else. And then she was like, I'm going to fact
check that. And so she fact checks that. And
it's exactly what I just said. It's not celebrated
over there. But you know what else it said that
really grinded my gears? And this is through
the Apple phone. So I don't know if this was
a... A proprietary search engine on Apple phones?
Apple uses chat GPT. Well, it uses some woke
shit because it came back and says, and just
to let you know, when celebrating Cinco de Mayo,
it is inappropriate to wear fake mustaches, sombreros,
and maracas, and whatever you use for normal
celebration and stuff. And I'm like, are you
freaking kidding me? In general, that's cultural
appropriation is what they call that, right?
No, it's not. You're celebrating the culture.
No, I know. I'm not advocating that. Come on.
I'm saying that you could say that about any
holiday that has a particular culture that celebrates
it. So I'm not allowed to wear my Liederkosen
on frickin' Oktoberfest Day? No. I guess not.
Or your St. Paddy's shit on St. Paddy's Day.
Yeah, you can't wear that either. Nope. That's
Irish. We've been trying to tell you that for
years. You offend everybody when you wear it.
Well, just like there's a huge stake ever since
that cartoon came out, Moana. And the little
white girls want to be Moana. Well, you can't
do that because you're culturally appropriating
the Polynesian culture. You can't dress up as
her. I think that's crap. We should be able to
dress up as anything we want. And actually, there's
a scene in the... Who made it? There's a movie
called Am I Racist? Oh, it's Matt Walsh. By Matt
Walsh. And he's sitting there being serious with
this psychologist. And we'll have a daughter,
and she wants to dress up as Moana. She's like,
oh, you can't do that. Whatever. And then he
kind of turned the table and was like, well,
she wants to be a princess. Isn't that kind of
putting down feminism and this and that? And
she was kind of torn. And yeah, you really have
to walk a line and this and that. No, you don't.
No, just let her dress up as Moana. Yep. There
you go. Let her be what she wants. Yep. Or he,
whatever. What if he wants to dress up like a
princess? Then I'd say no, but you know. No,
that's cool. Then you dress up as the big guy.
To the woke. You can wear woman face if you want.
That's cool. You're allowed to do that. It's
so... You know, who cares? Let people do whatever
they want. They get too bent out of shape. I
tell you what, I had an experience with my son
Preston. When we lived in Irving, we had a good
friend. They went over to their house, playing,
having a good time. And then Tara and I go with
their parents. We leave somewhere. They're being
babysat. And I come back, and Preston's fingernails
are painted. Oh. And I was like, oh, boy. Oh,
I lost my shit. I was like, who did this? And
the young girl did it. She was old enough, 13,
14, where she could babysit. So it was all legit.
No one was hurt or anything. But I was like,
dude, don't freaking paint my sons. And now look
at Preston. He's gay as hell. I was going to
say, he never acted the same after that. So I
get it. Make sure we soundbite that. He's gay
as shit. Great. I'll send that to him. Great.
Well, cool. It's kind of crazy. You didn't do
anything for the May the 4th Be With You? Don't
you do Star Trek? You dress up as... There's
not a lot of events that you go to. No, there's
not. I can't think of anything. Is that not a
Star Wars... You didn't have a laser sword fight
or anything? I mean, look, there are probably
some venues out there, maybe some local spirit
bars or something. What is Jeff looking at? I
don't know. Probably getting some air circulating.
A little stuffy. I thought there was something
above me. Like a spider that was about to launch
on me. I was looking to see if the fan was on
it. It was getting stuffy. Oh, that was me. But,
you know, there's not a lot of things out there,
not a lot of events going on. I don't know. I
haven't seen any, and frankly, I was a little
busy on this one. And I'll tell you what, it
kind of stinks. It seems like every season that's
passing faster and faster, these little events
that we used to enjoy all the time are just getting
brushed under the rug. You know, they become
less and less important. Let's take a DeMaio.
Just in general. Just in general. Perhaps. I
mean, I remember, you know, eight years ago,
I went to Cinco de Mayo when my grandmother passed
away. And we went to Connecticut, and she actually
passed away, like, in January. And it took a
while for us to—actually, it took a while for
the ground to thaw enough to— You get some jackhammers
out there. Yeah, to dig into the ground. Wow.
Wow. So she'd been laying around waiting to be.
It was cold out. You could keep her outside.
Oh, nice. But it was around May the 5th, and
we had the whole family out there celebrating.
And I remember being in a bar, and we got all
toasty, and there were local vendors, spirit
vendors, tequila, whatever. And they had a bunch
of sombreros and fake mustaches. And I remember
it was a fantastic, excellent celebration. Sure.
And with family and friends. celebrating Cinco
de Mayo, Mexican Independence Day. Were there
any Mexicans there celebrating with you? Who
the hell knows? I don't know. It's not Mexican
Independence Day. That's what everybody always
says. Yeah, but that's what they play. I know
it's not. I know. But it's just nuts. What it
is, I actually asked. I was like, well, hopefully
it's not the celebration of a battle where they
won over Texas Republican. Texas Republic soldiers
or something. We're just celebrating it. They're
celebrating the fall of the Alamo, right? It
was an internal battle. Actually, it was against
the French. The French. Yes. So they were celebrating
a battle in 1860 over the French. So, I mean,
we don't care about the French. It's not hard
to beat the French. I also learned from my team
that gringo is not a derogatory term. Gringo?
Gringo. Interesting. Because I asked them. Leto
is, though. It is. Well, up here, you think,
well, the Mexicans call us gringos, the whiteys,
right? And the manager that reported to me down
there, I was talking to him over dinner, and
we were talking about this. I asked about Cinco
de Mayo and gringo and all this stuff, and he
started laughing. He goes, no, we don't use that
term. He goes, that term comes from a battle
between the U .S. and Mexico. But the U .S. was
in green fatigues, and they were yelling, green,
go. For real? Yes. Like, go away. So green turned
into gringo. That's what he told me. Oh, wow.
I wonder if that's true. Because it's spelled
G -R -I -N -G -O, right? Gringo. It kind of morphed.
So that's coming from him, and he grew up and
lived there. Yeah, interesting. Yeah. Green grow.
U .S. soldiers sing green grow. Green grow the
lilacs. Maybe that's what it was. Maybe that's
what it was. Yeah. It had nothing to do with
a derogatory term. Right. I hear you. Yeah. Interesting.
Green grow. Turned into gringo. Interesting.
Yeah. He goes, yeah, we don't use that term.
It's not derogatory. So what is that derogatory
term for Americans? Honky? You don't have to
say it. I'm leading Sean there. I'll tell you
what a couple of them are. Saltine was one of
them, or cracker. That was another one. Saltine
was one. Weddow. I don't know what the Weddow.
W -H -E -T -T -O. I don't know what the term
is. I had some saltines for dinner. Did you?
Some sardines. They have every right to call
you that. It's a lot of carbs. And crackers.
Iodized salt. It's non -iodized, non -salt. Non
-iodized. And they're wheat. They use Celtic.
Yeah. It's Celtic. So they put seed oils on those.
Oil -free. It was just flour. Wow. In a bag.
Yeah. Well, there's a lot of things out there
we don't know regarding, like, gringo. I didn't
know that. That's the first time I ever heard
of that. I never thought it was, I thought it
was, I didn't know. I just thought it was a white
person, and I never. I never construed it as
a negative thing. I never did either. I didn't
have a perception that it was a negative term.
So, widow, not necessarily bad, it looks like.
It's for blonde or light -skinned. It's often
used informally to refer to white people or those
of fair complexions. Widow. Whitey or cracker?
Well, it says down at the bottom, yeah. It can
also be derogatory, yeah. I could give a shit.
I couldn't care less. Yeah, I don't care. And
I've never was really offended, but I was kind
of like, yeah, you know, it's just kind of like
when you say, I don't know. Some people get offended
when you use derogatory terms. Black people do
if you use a derogatory term. I can't think of
any other race on the planet. I guess some Italian
languages, you know, where they use like WAP
or something. There's Asian, hurtful Asian ones,
right? Like what? I'm not going to say them,
but I mean, they're... How do we know which one?
I mean, I'll say a bunch of them just to kind
of clear the air a little bit. But first of all,
I want to preface this with, I don't mean, don't
even disrespect. I'm just trying to figure it
out. Because I know, like, gook, for example.
My kids had said the word gook for some reason
over at his house. My dad was like, hey, you
don't say that. That's the Vietnamese. Only I
could say that because I used to kill them. Or
they used to kill us. But anyways, that was one.
And there's chink. That's what I was thinking
of. There's ching -chang. I don't know. I mean,
I don't think those are horrible. Yeah. I think
it's when you add these adjectives to it, like
you stupid slant -eyed chink or something. That
is horrible. Why would you want to say something
like that? Right. But you could say that about
anybody, just kind of downplaying a little bit.
But I don't know. I think we kind of. You just
went off on a tangent there, didn't I? I brought
up Gringo, so I started that. It's Jeff's fault.
Yeah, I started that. But you know what? I mean,
there's a lot of subculture people out there
that live on that. What do they call it? Some
sort of Ebonics or alternative language that
they use out there. What is a substrate of language?
Ebonics is one. Dialect? It's not dialect. It's
a whole... Ebonics is a whole set of words and
stuff. Well, Ebonics is almost like a different
language almost. I think the closest thing is
dialect. I think that's the... I mean, because
it's technically a version of English. Right.
So, I mean, so it's got to be a dialect. It's
not an accent, right? I mean, it's a dialect.
But they use different vocabulary. Totally. So
that's not a dialect. Dialect is where you say
something. Like a dialect is a southern draw
or a northern draw. That's accent. That's accent?
Well, I can tell you that the New Yorkers, Long
Island, the Staten Islands, they have their own
form. I don't want to call it Ebonics, but they
have their own terminology and shit. And so does
Cajun. So does Cajun, right, in Louisiana. Cajun's
a big one. You can't even understand what the
hell they're saying. Exactly. Adam Sandler was
a water boy. The Cajun coach. There it is. So
it's confirmed that it is a dialect of English.
Yes. Interesting. You remember the chef, the
old guy, the Cajun guy? He would be outside.
I remember watching this on... What show? This
was a long time ago when I was a kid. There was
an old guy. He'd be in overalls. He was Cajun.
He had that accent. But he was a cook. He was
like a chef. You're not sure? No. Justin Wilson?
Was he a big old guy? Cajun, popular in Louisiana,
PBS cooking show. Yeah, way back when. And he'd
always have this big old pot, and he'd use all
those Cajun terms and all that shit. He was making
Creole and all this kind of stuff, right? Interesting.
It all looked good. Crawfish. Oh, yeah. Well,
yeah. It was more than that. Because he had a
show every week, so he was making all kinds of
stuff, right? I never really got into crawfish.
Me either. Oh, I love crawfish. The thought of
sucking the brain out of it just... Well, you
don't have to do that. You don't have to, yeah.
You don't have to do that. I mean, they are bugs.
I mean, when you hear eat the bugs, that's a
mud bug is a bug. I mean, I've eaten a bunch
of them. It's just water. But it's not... You
know, it's just like... They're so... You have
to eat so many of them. Well, it's a community
thing because you have these crawfish boils,
and you get around, and they dump them, and you
stand around, and you talk. Yeah, it's great.
You get corn, sausages, sausage, and shrimp.
So you don't have to eat the brain, but you can
break it apart and eat the body. The tail. The
tail. It's like a lobster tail. It's like a little
lobster. It's like a micro lobster tail. Who
kicks the tail and sucks the head? A lot of people
just throw the heads away. I'll suck a few until
I get. It's rich sometimes. Sound bite. Yes.
Crazy. I'm sure you will. So I'll do that. And,
you know, yeah, you're sucking their brains out
and everything else. He said sucking, by the
way. Yes. Sucking their brains out. You get pretty
efficient at it after a while, too. You can just,
like, break it and break it. You will get raw
fingers after a while. Interesting. Yeah. Well,
I have to be honest. I've never given it. A fair
shake. You should try it. Crawfish boil. Yeah,
you should try it. And it's good. It basically
takes on whatever you season it in, right? Sure.
The shrimp boil or whatever. Yeah, I mean, it
tastes like whatever you cook it in. Interesting.
Okay. Yeah, there's a Cajun little packet you
buy from the grocery store. Put it in a big old
– we have a super large pan. Just put it in there,
and it looks like some capers looking kind of
thing. Well, even better yet, HEB is having their
big crawfish boil right now. You can go to HEB
and buy two pounds of crawfish and take them
home. They're all cooked, everything ready to
go. Really? Does it have like a compilation of
corn and stuff or is it just the crawfish? They're
having a big old boil at every HEB off to the
side. They have the big old pots. What I mean
is that when you show up, can I buy a gallon
of - Well, they bag them up for you. But is it
the whole deal? I think so. I don't know. All
the trimmings and stuff you think? Yeah, I think
so. So how do you prepare that? You take them
home and eat them. Oh, you don't even have to
like - No, they're cooked. Traditionally, you
take your table and you put brown paper down
there. Oh, okay. Yeah, because it's messy. Yeah,
you just slap it on there. Yeah, you just throw
your shit. There you go. There's a picture of
it. And do you blast Cajun music and wear overalls
with nothing underneath and a withdraw hat? Just
listen to Journey. And you jump around and...
Was that Cajun? Is that Cajun? It's like a samurai.
I don't know. That wasn't Cajun? Y 'all, how
you doing, y 'all? I don't believe that was Cajun.
Well, help me out here. What does a Cajun sound
like? I'm so thankful we don't have video right
now. Yeah, Justin Wilson was the old guy. Was
that him? Yeah. He was born in 1914, died in
2001. I'd be more interested, Mr. Producer, in
knowing what a Cajun sounds like. Find that after.
Okay, right now we're watching this Cajun music.
Now, this is awesome stuff. This is just like
bluegrass to me. Very similar. It's got a lot
of the same instruments. Yeah, I was going to
say, you could find this at any small, like,
you know, Kentucky town festival. Yee -hee! What
does a Cajun sound like? Like that. Like that,
yeah. Here's this dude. This is perfect. Let's
see what this guy... See how close I was. That's
not Cajun to me. Pull up Justin Wilson. I was
really close, by the way. My impersonation was
almost dead on. I was just a little... He sounds
like John Kennedy, the senator. He sure does,
from Massachusetts. and gently nudged him back
to safety all the time. There's so much southern
in this. Southern wine that needs just a little
bit of salt. You've got to admit that's pretty.
You know I forgot the most important thing? There
you go. Yes. It's looking good. Looking good.
You want me to bring up Waterboy? God, no, that's
okay. Okay, I didn't sound anything like a Cajun.
I'm acknowledging that now. I used to watch that.
Yeah, well, maybe if you had an extra chromosome
or something. Maybe. Maybe that would have helped.
Yeah, I don't know. So. All right, well. Sorry.
My whiskey went in the wrong way. Up the asshole?
No, it did not. Oh, okay. I was on butt losing
it. All right, so what else have we got going
on? We had some weddings going on. You had a
wedding. I had an event on Friday. What about
the Thursday Amici event? I'll talk about that
in a second. Okay. The wedding was on Friday,
so not very many weddings are on Friday. No.
Julie and I were skittering around all day helping
out, set up and everything. So I come back and
shower. And I hadn't shaved all week. And I proceeded
to shave, and I used my safety razor. And it
basically safely removed all the skin off of
my face. Nice. Right around, the first one was,
and it was a brand new blade, so I don't know
what the hell I was doing. I felt it on the chin
right there, because it kind of caught. I was
like, oh no, that's going to be a good one. So
then I just kept going. All around my mouth,
I just shredded. It was like a cheese peeler.
Oh, it was. It was just like... Gross. And by
the time I was done, I was... Were you bleeding
to death? Oh, it was horrible. It was like a
murder scene. It was. I had so much... There
was blood everywhere just running down my...
chin and everything. So I was like, great, now
I have to be at a wedding here shortly. I'm going
to be like a meat grinder. Herpes simplex 8.
I look like the next day. Well, you're like attacked
by some sort of rodent or something. Yeah, and
I showed up. I was very self -conscious. One
thing, it hurt, and I'm sure it was inflamed
and everything. I told the guy, and I was doing
this, and I was like, can I use the restroom
because I think it's, you know, I need to wipe
my face. I hacked my face apart when I was shaving.
And he was very cool about it. And then my wife
got me some Aquaphor to kind of cover it. I was
like, no, great. Now I'm glistening everywhere.
Right. Right. So I did that. The next day, everything
scabbed over, and I looked like some social disease.
I had all these things around my mouth. I was
like, God, it looks like I have gonorrhea or
herpes. Herpes. I would go with herpes. Whichever
one gives you the canker sores. I was like, this
is great. Perfect. Yeah. I still have a couple
of the scars, or not scars. So what is a safety
blade? What is that? Those are the, well, they
call them a safety razor, right? Where you have
the actual blades that you replace. Oh, yeah.
I use that all the time. I don't have that. What
made you shave with a straight razor? That's
not a straight razor. It's one of those. That's
what I use. Yeah, that's what I use, too. It's
fantastic. Oh, okay. So you always use that.
Yeah. It's just, I think I was in a hurry, maybe,
and I was just like. I was pressing too hard.
It's usually you don't have enough lubricant.
It could be. I don't know. Hold on. So you guys
regularly shave with these? I do about once a
week. No. I tell you what. I don't shave. I shave
when I have to, which could be months in between.
So I use an electric razor, and it's a trimmer.
Not like the little circle things. That's our
new Relco. No, forget that. I use something they
use for trimming your hair. Okay. And it's, man,
I'll tell you what. But how do you get a close
shave? Do you not? I guess you don't. It's close
enough to where if I go out, I mean, have you
seen me with a close shave? No. I guess not.
Am I always kind of overcast? You always have
the five o 'clock shadow, yeah, I guess. Well,
it is what it is. I have an electric one as well,
but since I was going, I was like, I want something
a little bit closer. Dude, I have a Braun, and
it is very close. Very close. Yeah. So after
this, I'm like... Do you spoon with it? Yeah,
I mean, we're tight. Shave your taint? Yeah,
a little bit. No, I'm telling you. I mean, that's
what I have right there. You got it up on the
screen. I mean, it's a wet -dry vac. Oh, it's
one of the ribbons. Sorry. Wet -dry shaver. So
it works good, huh? It works great. I've had
bronze for 15, 20 years. I mean, they're worth
the money. They're amazing. I'll give it a shot.
I'm not against it. Yeah, they're great. Yeah.
Yeah, I may try it as well. Especially after
the experience that I had. Because my dad, the
reason I started using the safety razors, I never
used them. I used the Mach 20s or whatever. Yeah,
that's what I used in high school. And then it
got too expensive. Then I moved to the Harry's.
Then Harry's turned all woke on me. Then I moved
to something else. I can't remember what it was.
I bought the one that the Pond Star guy, the
Pond Store. Remember the Las Vegas show that
was on the History Channel? Pawn Stars? Is that
what it's called? Pawn Stars? Correct. He has
a razor? Yeah, he has a razor he put out. Oh,
I didn't know that. Interesting. Yeah, because
I was the same way. The Harry's, and then I was
like, fuck that. Yeah, so I dropped Harry's,
and then when my dad passed, when we were cleaning
it out, he had this box. I have enough razors
to last me a lifetime and my children a lifetime.
Oh, wow. So I was like, all right, well, maybe
I'll start using this. And so I've been using
it for a year with really no issues until last
Friday. And I decided to remove my lips. It was
horrible. Well, I remember in high school, I
had, yeah, we had the regular, you know, the
regular razors. Oh, yeah. I mean, what would,
not Norwalk. Better than Bic. Yeah, those were
like. You talk about cheese graters. With the
single blade? No, with the three. And it kind
of flexed, right? I know I started with. That's
like the Mach 3. I'll tell you what, in high
school, you know, I don't know about you guys,
but I had zits. So it was like zip, you know,
and then I'd be done. And then I had a roll of
toilet paper right there and I had to peel off
all the little, you know, put little paper, paper
on each cut. Cause I had, I mean, it was regular
every single time it was cuts and stop the bleeding
with the little paper, you know, paper, paper,
uh, toilet paper and paper, right? Yeah. I mean,
is that not what you guys did in high school?
I mean, I didn't have a bad acne problem. Oh,
I did. Uh, and I use the, the, the cheap ass,
the cheap ass Bix. And it literally had one blade.
Yes. And it was plastic, and it didn't flex.
Yellow. I had the yellow. Yellow and brown. They're
different colors, but I remember going to college
and just using those, and I was just raking my
face. Yeah. Every time. It was awful. And there's
a spot on my neck that I have to change directions.
Otherwise, it hurts so bad, and I would just
leave this. Your neck has a part. It has a colic
or something in it. There's a colic in the middle
of your beard. You can't tell. You've got a hair
part. You can't tell. But right here, on the
left side of my neck, and I was in college when
I finally figured this out, because I would hate
it. I'd get to it, and it would rake, and it
would just bleed. It looked like a huge rash.
It was red, just bleeding everywhere. And I don't
know what made me do it, because I went the other
way. I was like, that was brilliant. I was like,
that didn't hurt at all. I felt like the rest
of my face. It's just like a little... patch
right there, like a three -edged patch all the
way down. I was trying to teach my boys how to
shave, and I was telling them, you've got to
go in different directions because they grow
in different directions. I've got this big -ass
mole on my cheek. Try shaving that fucker off.
Have you lanced that a few times? A bunch. I
haven't done it in years because I seldom shave,
and when I do, I'm so slow and I take my time.
I use lots of lubricant, man. I use bar soap.
I get it all lathered up and super slippery because
if it's dry whatsoever, it's painful because
rug burn. No, forget that. It's just not worth
it. But how about the aftershave liquid where
you'd splash it on your face and it would just
basically burn wherever you had cuts? Yeah. Oh,
yeah. That was back in the day, like Aqua Velva.
Yeah, how is that a good idea? It's not. I used
to do that again in college. I use one now. There's
no alcohol in it, and it cools the face, so it
helps it. Like I said, it doesn't have the alcohol
and all that bullshit in it. Why would they even
do that, though? What was the concept behind
that? It was manly. Aqua Velva. So, yeah. So,
you have cuts all over your face, and then you
just splash alcohol into the cuts. Oh, it was
horrible. You're a man. Either that or lemon
juice. No. Perfect. Perfect. Hey, Mom, you got
any lemons? I'm going to shave. God, what a nightmare.
Yeah. I remember either my dad had some, or I
got some when I went to college in some gift
box. When you move in, they get like a little.
Like the dorm would have like a little box with
razors and shower cream. And electric shave.
Yeah, and a little bottle of that like Barbasol.
Is that the foam? Oh, yeah. And the little thing
of that alcohol, blue alcohol. And I used it
there and I was like, this is terrible. I don't
understand. Are you guys seriously not, neither
of you, none of you, all three of you didn't
have any acne in high school? What? No. I mean,
not a lot. I'd have one or two. Really? We lived
in the United States. Yeah. Yeah. No, in high
school I was in the United States, unless Houston
is considered a foreign country. Was Vietnam
still coming out of your body? Yeah, you were
still permeating oils from Vietnam. Maybe. I
had to take Accutane. It was so bad. Oh, that's
why you're deaf. Well, interestingly, I were
hearing it before that, but yeah. Awkward. Now,
there are some people that just have a lot of
acne. I mean, I had acne. I mean, it was like
a pimple. Some people had really bad acne. They'd
have to take certain drugs to tame it. Yeah,
Accutane is like, I mean, that's the one where.
They say women, girls shouldn't take it because
of the birth defects. That's what I mean. There's
a chemical in it that's dangerous. Yes, and you
should see the packaging. It's like you have
to sign paperwork that you will, which is kind
of strange for boys to have to do that, but you
have to sign paperwork that says you will. You
know that you can't get pregnant. You will not
get pregnant because, I mean, of course, the
liability on that is through the roof. But, damn,
it's effective. It dries you out. You know, you've
got to be careful in the sun, and you have to,
you know. Yeah, my sister had bad acne problems
going through high school, and she really didn't
get out of it until, I guess, she moved away
to college, and it started to clear up. But she
had bad, where it was just red. You know, your
face was red. And for another thing, Houston
was so fucking humid, man. It was nasty, just
a pimple -making, gross, humid atmosphere. Oh,
believe it or not, yeah. Houston, Cincinnati
is actually really bad, too. Is it? Because you
got, you're in a valley, and you got. Three rivers
right there. So it's all this moisture. It's
just sitting right down there in a valley. So
it's actually quite humid in Cincinnati. I don't
know if it's quite as bad as Houston, but it's
nothing like Dallas. Thank you, Mr. Producer,
for putting all those images of acne. That's
horrific. That's bacne. Some of them have it
really bad. I know in high school. Where does
that come from? It's just genetics. It's, yeah.
Some people are. Infections of the hair follicles.
Yeah, that's just genetics. Follicles, I guess.
I don't. We had someone in school who had full
back knee. And in gym class, phys ed class, we'd
play basketball. Skins versus shirts. Oh, no.
Oh, no. And he would be on the skins team. So
then, Jeff, you're guarding him. I'm like. No,
not great. So he was the leading scorer. So,
yeah, he basically had a run of the paint. Right?
Nobody would play any defense on him. I mean,
I felt bad. I mean, it was bad. I mean, it just
wasn't his back. It was on his shoulders and
his face, and he was redhead for one thing. And
then, yeah, Accutane for those people is a godsend.
It really is. Well, he obviously didn't use it
because he had it through his entire high school
career. Yeah, it's tough, man. I mean, it's so...
It'll scar you for life, some of it. Yeah. Literally
scar you. And you're so self -conscious and,
you know, it's awful. Acne just sucks, man. It's
a part of puberty, for one thing. Yep. There
are hormonal things, but there's also some of
it's due to diet, right? You can cut certain
things like dairy out of your diet and it will
clear you up. So you've got to try things, not
just treating the outbreak. what goes into your
body, too. Yeah, we didn't have that kind of
awareness back when I was a kid. Yeah, they don't
promote that. Yeah, it's sad. It is. We had none
of that awareness. We drank powdered milk. Dude,
I drank it. It was the Tang. Tang, yeah. I drank
Tang. I drank probably a six -pack of Coke a
day. Yeah, it was baloney and powdered cheese.
Oh, it was awful shit, man. Government cheese.
I heard it was a lot of sugar caused acne. That's
what my mom would say, so that's why we never
had candies or cakes. Or pops or anything like
that. I don't know if it's any truth. You know
what? Sugar is horrible for you. Everyone should
know that. It is. It is. Everyone should try
not to. Hell, drink it's bad for you, too. Everything's
bad for you. God bless. I know. You can't figure
out what to. I mean, I'm trying everything I
can, except for, you know, it's a losing battle.
Yeah, it does seem like it sometimes. It kind
of does say sugar has an effect. Oh, I guess
she was right. I never fact -checked her. I just
like, okay. For acne? You're saying for acne?
Yes, it's blood sugar, insulin levels, hormonal
balance. Could have been all those pops you were
drinking. Dude, when I came home from school,
the first thing I did was I went to the refrigerator
and I pulled out a Coke and I stood there and
drank the whole thing. I threw that can away
and I grabbed a second one and then I would go
watch Three's Company. Come and knock on our
door. Come and knock on our door. We've been
waiting for you. We've been waiting for you.
No, seriously. So then I would proceed to drink
another four of that every night. I wonder if
that was part of your... I drank a six -pack
every single night. Yeah, that was tough. It
wasn't even throughout the day. You talk about
high glycemic spike. How dumb. Yeah. And my mom
never said a word. She was like, I want you to
be happy. Well, your mom doesn't know any better.
I love you, Paul. We didn't know any different
back then. They don't teach you. They were teaching
that grains were the most awesome thing and the
pyramid table, the food pyramid was, and I say
this a lot on the podcast, but it pisses me off.
It pisses me off that we were lied to. Yeah.
And we continue to be lied to. It really does,
and there's no one that's ever going to be held
accountable. But you know who's going to be held
accountable for this fantastic drink we're making?
That would be you. You picked it. I did. You
were accountable. I did. So I went to the drawer
and I was like, holy, look at that. I have not
pulled out from Austin, Texas, nine -banded weeded
bourbon. This is the single barrel version. This
is actually the barrel number 46 set up for a
total wine only. Are you guys done with yours?
Are we allowed a second pour, or is that being
reserved for the Infinity Bottle? How much do
we have left in there? Let me see. Not a lot.
That's Infinity Bottle. We could do an ounce.
We don't need another ounce. Of old Williamsburg.
It's too good to be put in an infinity bottle.
I hate this podcast. All we want is an infinity
bottle. This podcast sucks. Anyway, so it's a
total wine version. It's the barrel number 46.
It's the weeded bourbon single barrel, and it's
109 proof. So this single barrel could be vastly
different than if we bought another one today.
Oh, for sure. So I got to tell you guys, tell
our listeners out there. Is this MGP? I don't
think so. I think they're stuff from Still Austin.
Still Austin or Giant, maybe. Giant's another
big sourcer here in Texas. Nine Bandit was probably
one of our first love affairs with bourbons.
It's a blend. It was mine, at least. Black Powder
was. By the way, this is blended and bottled.
Well, Black Powder wasn't. That was kind of the
introduction, I think. Yeah, but I mean, this
was kind of like the first thing I was kind of
like, oh, this is the champagne. This is good.
It's 45 % wheat, which is, you know, for us,
it was kind of like, oh, this is good. And it's
still good. It's just different. I don't think
it has as much flavor as some of the other stuff
does. But it's made from, it's in Austin, Texas.
And it's 45 % bourbon, 51%. Corn, and then the
remainder is barley. So it's distilled in Lawrenceburg,
Indiana. It's MGP. Oh, it is MGP. And it is blended
and bottled by Nine Bandit in Austin. So it's
a blend of, I'm assuming, MGP. I wonder if they're
ever going to distill their own stuff. I don't
know. I don't even know if they're going to make
it. I mean, their stuff has kind of become stagnant.
I think that they have... I'd like to find out
if there are other bottles. I don't even know
how old that bottle is. Maybe they have already.
I don't know. That's a good question. So they
get this stuff from MPP, they blend it, and then
they do age it for a time in the hill country.
It'd be nice if they... At least three years.
It'd be nice if they get off their asses and
get on the podcast. They keep telling us that
they're going to come out here and walk us through
this process. Who, Nine Bandit? Yeah. Very nice.
Well, there is no turbidity to this, so that's
good. Turbidity? Turbidity, yes. What does that
mean? I don't even know what that means. It's
no turbidity. I don't know. I've seen the word
before. I don't know what it means. Well, it
has to do with like solids in the water. Yeah.
Is it chunkiness? It's the clearness of the water.
Yeah. No, we want floaties because that means
it's unfiltered. That'd be the cowboy, right?
Yeah. It's unfiltered. You have a twig in that?
Raw. Yes. Gets a little fiber with your bourbon.
All right, so what do we... I mean, I already
drank mine. You guys won't let me have more.
So what do you guys... Pour a little splash.
I'm done. No, no, no, it's fine. It's fine. All
right, so nine -banded bourbon, specifically
the single -barrel selection, is known for its
golden honey color, rich, round mouthfeel. Tasting
notes include grassy and herbal aromas with a
touch of butterscotch. The palate... Offers smoky
cherry, creme brulee, honeycomb flavors, culminating
in a lingering velvety finish. Velvet. Additionally,
some reviewers note hints of vanilla cornflakes
and sweet cream. The finish. This is tasty. I
don't think I like it as much as when we first
got it because we've had so many other outstanding
ones. I would call this slightly above average.
Yeah, I was going to give this like a 6, 5 .5
to a 6. I would agree with that. It's good, drinkable,
but it goes away really fast for me. The finish
is not quite there. It's usually under $50, too,
so keep that in mind. Yeah, good point. This
one's under $50? But it's $109, $110, so there's
quite a few things out there that we like in
that range, right? I think Rare Breed's close
to that. There's a few others that are in there.
I think I like Early Times better than this,
and that's at 100. Right. You like Early Times
better than this? I think so. It's been a while
since I had Early Times, so we'll need to have
that again, too. I'm going to give it a six as
well. I want to be different, but I'm with you.
I'm going to give this a six. The Nine Bandit
is good. So they had the white. bottle the white
brand label that was on there then they had the
black label uh the white label they changed the
um uh the mash bill the mash bill or not the
mash bill but the blend i guess yeah whatever
it was that they changed it up and it tasted
better but it still was just in the the black
but they also come up with a another gold bottle
this one is a single barrel but they have a cask
strength one correct that's 120 yeah it's close
to that one is fantastical yeah Yeah, there is
right there. Something like that, yeah. But there's
a couple great ones out there, but not this one.
I agree. This is about a six. Nothing wrong with
that. No, there's not really. Above average is
what I would say. Yeah, if you want a decent
bottle for the $40, $50 range. Yeah. Are you
sure? I thought this was like $55, $60. Well,
he's the one who said $50. I don't know. I don't
know. It may be. Yeah, it may be. $51. 81. 51.
Oh, 51. Oh, you were speaking Cajun. Yeah, 51.
Oh, okay. I see. Right. Did you rate it, Paul?
Yeah, I gave it a 6 .1. Did you really? I did.
Oh. So almost six years all around. Trying to
prices ride us? Yeah. Yeah. Well, you went over,
so you lose. You guys, oh, I overbid? You overbid.
Oh, shit. Yeah. Yeah. Anything fun? Funny? So
good. It's, you can't go wrong with it. Can't
go wrong. Eh, it's good to have in the collection.
I think we're going to dump this into our infinity
bottle. For those listeners out there that don't
know, we have an infinity bottle that's got freaking
a ton of bottles in there. Ton of bottles. If
you get an opportunity to come on the podcast
or visit the studio here in Frisco, Texas, you
can check it out. It's a gallon, and it's almost
full, but when it gets to a certain point, we
usually divvy up around. So I think we have a
50 to 52. I know we lost track of, I know you're
writing them down. No, I'm writing them down,
but we have, I think, closer to 60, 62. Wow.
Well, before we get to the end, I want to kind
of cover Gene Hackman and what he kind of went
through there at the end of his life. Yeah, what
a mess. I read today that he has just now been
buried. He died back in February or something
like that, didn't he? Yeah. Him and his wife.
Horrible, tragic thing, end of life that he went
through. His wife died of hantavirus, of all
things. And then he had dementia slash Alzheimer's,
and I think he basically forgot to eat. He went
on for another week, they thought. Yeah, and
they looked, and I was like, yeah, there was
nothing in his system. No food, anything. So,
yeah, I guess his dementia was so advanced that
he didn't even recognize that his wife was on
the ground or on the floor. He didn't eat. He
couldn't cook. He just kind of stumbled around
and I guess went to bed. Well, he was on the
floor, I thought. And he just finally just died
of old age, I think. Wow. Yeah, that's not a
dignified way to go. Well, anyway, they finally
did the autopsy and all that stuff. And I guess
he was estranged from his kids. He did claim
the body and all this stuff. Well, they just
buried him and his wife in New Mexico in an unmarked
grave. Wow. And his kids did it. His kids had
a ceremony. So I don't know what the motivation
is because they were cut out of the will. So
I don't know if they're a little butthurt around
that. Oh, you had to be. He had an $80 million
estate. So the fact that they're cut out, I don't
know what relationship he had with his kids.
You know, hopefully you would think at the end
there, you're like, all right, this is dad. Let's
at least give him a tombstone at least, right?
Yeah, but they might have been. I wonder if it
started with the wife. That's the second or third
wife, I think, yeah. Yeah. They've been married,
though, for quite a while. Yeah. They were married
for 30 years almost, I think. Which means they
could have been estranged for all that time.
Could have been. Yeah, they got into a fight
and they didn't talk for years and years and
years. Yeah, I mean, if you think about the actors,
when they got to spend months and months and
months on a set, living in the trailer, you know,
they're not seeing their kids. I mean, they might
talk to them on the phone or whatever. Yeah,
they're secondary. Yeah, they become secondary
to the craft a little bit. That's true. It leads
to all kinds of divorce. Hard feelings. Oh, for
sure. He could have been an absent dad. I don't
know. I'm not assuming anything, but there are
some troubles there. But the fact that, you know,
it's just sad when you see someone like that
or just anybody who is just unmarked. Yeah, put
that aside. Put the pettiness aside and give
them a dignified. I mean, get a small flat one
if you don't want to do anything else. Right.
You know, not a big one or anything, just a small
one. If you're burying them. At least give him
that. That is total bitterness to not even put
his name on there. Unmarked. And keep in mind,
he's a beloved actor. So was that in his will
to have it unmarked, or his kids did that? His
kids did that, apparently. Wow. At least the
article I read didn't say anything about the
will. It just said, yeah, his kids were at this
small ceremony, and it was an unmarked grave
next to his wife. I hope that changes. So Gene
Hackman's estrangement from his children was
primarily attributed to his career commitments
like you guys just shared, particularly his frequent
lengthy absences from home due to acting roles.
He acknowledged feeling disconnected from his
children, especially during the formative years,
and recognized that his focus on career had taken
a toll on the relationship. While he attempted,
he did attempt to mend the relationships with
his second wife, it seemed the damage was too
bad. Right. That's a sad story, man. It is sad.
And, you know, you can imagine when you're making
a lot of money and you're a movie star and you're
able to bang anybody you want, essentially. Wow.
You know, I mean, dude, come on. I mean, you're
married. It's just like your kids look at you
in a different light. Like, Dad, you're a douche.
Right. You know, you're married. You're my dad.
We had a family. And what the fuck? And you didn't
care. Yeah. You threw it all away for your fame
and fortune. Well, I guess in a sense, he kind
of did it to himself. Yeah. You know? Yeah, and
it doesn't matter. He's dead, so what does he
give a shit if he doesn't unmark Grave or not?
True. Well, even if he was still alive, he wouldn't
give a fuck. He didn't know. He didn't know what
was going on there at the end, and who knows
how long he was like that. He could have been
like that for a year, but she was taking care
of him kind of a thing. And we don't even know
that if he wanted to have an unmarked Grave.
I mean. There's a will out there. There could
be. I mean, maybe. Well, if it was in the will,
then they would. I mean, usually you don't even
have to specify that. It's like pretty much a
default. But yeah, if he wanted a marked grave,
like he's passionate about it, he would have
said it in the will. So I don't know. I don't
know. But again, he's dead. It is sad. And he's
moved on. They have a picture of just a circle,
a piece of dirt on the ground. Wow. Is it on
their property? I don't know. I'm assuming it's
on their ranch. He has a ranch in New Mexico.
Yeah. Can you bury somebody on a ranch? Yeah.
They have family cemeteries. Family plots? Absolutely.
As a matter of fact, in Legacy East, you know
where all that stuff is? And there's that cemetery
right there? Right. In the middle of all of it?
Yeah. That was a family cemetery. Yeah. You can
poltergeist it. Build a house on it. You absolutely
can. And you can build your house on a pet cemetery.
They moved the gravestones and not the graves.
No, seriously. So I think that's a common rural
thing. I mean, generations, six generations of
Texans that live on the same land, they create
a family cemetery. Right. That's not atypical.
That's what Yellowstone did. The TV show. There
we go. It's got to be true. I know Donald Trump
took advantage of graveyards, you know, burying
his wife. golf course, then he was able to...
There's a certain rule. What was it? New Jersey?
Wherever the golf course is? Wherever the golf
course is, they have a law that says that the
graveyards don't pay taxes. So since he buried
his wife there, he doesn't pay taxes on the golf
course. Did he bury her on the 18th green or
something like that? I don't know. Like on the
18th hole, you can look down and see her? You
put right over the graveyard. That's crazy. It
is kind of dark. It's crazy. All right. First
half of the Dudes Like Us podcast. It's May 6th.
Check us out on dudeslikeus -podcast on Instagram
or Facebook. Mr. Producer, thank you. Mr. Chuck,
Dudes Like Us. I'm Sean. I'm Paul. And I'm Jeff.