Second half. We did have a second half primer
of one of our top shelf. Top shelf. Top shelf.
If not the top shelf. Could be. The coconut bourbon
itself. It could be. I think it may have been
in the impossible realm. We'll never get it again.
Chuck makes a good point. We will never get it
again. Now, is it readily available? Yes. Will
we get it again? No. So it does make it impossible.
It is readily available. I need to scan this
one. I need to scan the other ones we've had,
too. All right. Well, we're not talking about
the second half bourbon yet. No, we're not. But
here we are, second half. It is the second half.
It is, what is it? It's April 22. Yeah, so we
just, this second half is April 22, and it passed
April 20. And, you know, I didn't hear a whole
lot of buzz about April 20. You know, a bunch
of people like to smoke marijuana. Oh, it wasn't
Easter. Oh, yeah. I don't think it matters to
them. Yeah. Ah, whatever. It doesn't affect me
whatsoever. I think it does temper it somewhat.
A little bit. A little bit? Yeah, maybe a little.
People are focused on the resurrection of Jesus
Christ, you know, and they're like, they don't
have time for marijuana on that day. Maybe. I
don't know. I don't know. Sunday fun day. Sunday
fun day. And for you, it was Sunday fun day.
Well, not. Well, I did go over to Sean's. Yeah,
he came over to my house. I was talking about
the... We had a little Easter shindig. I'll tell
you what. Tara, my wife, always goes above and
beyond. I mean, this time... She does. She's
the ultimate host. She made... It wasn't a traditional
Easter feast, you know? Ham, chicken, turkey,
whatever. Barbecue. Barbecue, brisket, you know?
You know what she made this year? It was cold
cuts. Sandwiches. Oh, that's right. She had a
sandwich bar. It was a smorgasbord of sandwiches,
breads, meats, cheeses. So you had like tons
of different meats? Did you have like mortadella?
I don't know what that is. You probably didn't.
You didn't even know it. So did you have roast
beef? I had a little prosciutto. Yeah, it was
fun. It was fun. We had a small gathering. Did
you have head cheese? We had a bunch different.
They didn't have little name tags on the cheese.
Yeah, we did have some of that. It was fun. Is
this an opportunity for you to throw out every
weird fish? Not fish. Cheese, meat. It's got
to sound Italian. So we had a great dinner. Afterwards,
we did Pictionary. Oh, that's fun. Chuck left
right before Pictionary. Did you do men versus
women? We attempted to, but there was more, I
think, men than women, so we had to have my father
-in -law go over to the other side. Oscar Rene,
he went over to the other side. Because you and
I are undefeated. Yeah, we ripped them up. The
guys are, it's just, it was... Did you really?
Oh, it was embarrassing, you know? All right,
well, we haven't introduced ourselves. Well,
it is the second half of the podcast, and Lord,
I think the halftime break that we took with
the little extra shot really did the thing. We
had a little sugar boost as well. Is that what's
going on? It actually may be the cake. I think
you're right. Something's going on. I got a head
rush going on right now. It's April 22nd. Thank
you, Chuck, our producer. Yes. Gladly. The latest
and greatest. So anyways, dudes, I got some Sean.
I'm Paul. And I'm Jeff. We have a jam -packed
list of topics to talk about. Yes. We're running
hot. We're not talking about Hitler. We're not
talking about any of this other weird shit. We're
staying. We're going to have to get it out in
15 minutes because we're all going to crash in
20. Is that what it is? Yes. That sugar. Yeah.
What was that? Tips treat or what was that? It
was nothing but cakes. Nothing but cakes. Yeah.
Well, we just ate a pound of cake each. Whenever
we do go to video, it's going to be like our
heads are going to be on the table. Microphones
are going to be knocked over and just get silent.
Whose birthday was it? Brandon. Oh, it's Steven.
Happy birthday, Steven. Yes, happy birthday to
Steven. And he is 23. Good Lord. Unbelievable.
Same age as Dawson and Preston. That's right.
That's right. Exciting times. We've got certain
playoffs going on. I think, did the Mavs start?
The Mavs, I give them credit for, despite the
absolutely horrific trade. That they did. They
sucked. And then, what's his name? Anthony Davis
went down right after that. Kyrie Irving went
down. Blew out his knee. He's not coming back
until next January. Right. So, they still had
a shot, and they did the play -in? No. Yes, they
did the play -in. They had to beat Sacramento
to get to the play -in. And it was a one -game
playoff? And they beat Sacramento. Yes, it was
the one play -in to get to the last playoff spot.
They had to beat Memphis. Okay. And they got
blown out. And they got blown out. And that was
also a one -game deal. That was a one -game deal.
I like that they do that, though. It gives the
9th and 10th seed a chance to get into the playoffs,
which is always kind of cool. It creates that
Cinderella feeling that you have about the NCAA.
Yeah, but then, well, the Mavs were below .500.
Yeah, okay. They shouldn't even have been. Exactly.
And I don't know. I mean, what the fuck? Really?
Below .500? Yes. Okay, that's dumb. Yeah. And
the Memphis, I don't know what they were, but
they had to go and play Oklahoma, who's the number
one seed. Yeah, and they're going to get destroyed.
They got the first game, they got beat 130 to
80. That's what Dawson told me. It was ridiculous.
A 50 -point win in the playoffs. Yes. That is
not good for the league. No, because you're the
lowest seed. And, you know, I understand why
they do that. You know, you won your first top
seed. You should get some kind of benefit from
that. Yeah, you want to play hard during the
season. Right. It shouldn't matter. Your seating
in the playoffs should matter. So I agree with
it. Again, I don't know what Memphis is. What
does it say up here? Memphis, 48 -34. I have
never been more disconnected from the NBA. Look
at that. The Mavericks are in last place. I won't
either, dude. I shouldn't say Mavericks. 39 -43.
Yeah, you know, the thing about the NBA, though,
is because they all play each other, a lot of
times one of the conferences is going to be a
lot weaker than the other one. The Western Conference
has always been, like, the dominant. Yes, it
has been. And they'd have, like, 10 teams that
were really good and only eight made the playoffs,
and then the East would be weak as hell. Yes.
And they only have, like, four teams above 500
in the entire East, right? Has it shifted? I
don't know. I think they just expanded the playoffs.
There seems to be more parity now. A little bit.
I mean, Oklahoma City Thunder, they're at 68
-14. Yeah, but what about the East? It's one
of the best at all times. Oh, yeah. Look at the
East. The East is pretty strong. Celtics are
strong. You have three, four strong teams. So
the Mavericks would be in the same position in
the East. They would be. So is it parity right
now? That's good. That's good. It's not too bad.
Well, I don't know. I mean, Mavericks fans, I
think, are shattered. They should be. because
Luka is gone, and that was the worst, the worst
decision from a GM. I'm amazed the dude still
has a job, quite honestly. I wonder what his
over -under is on, if he'll make it through the
summer before the draft. So apparently the people
who own it is a family that really doesn't know
basketball. They just bought it for the investment.
Correct. The Adelmans? Yeah. So it's not like
a Mark Cuban scenario, right, where the freaking
owner's on the bench. Right. Right? So maybe
they're giving him some leeway because they don't
really kind of know what's going on. Well, they
should know now. I guarantee they're getting
some feedback. They should be concerned about
their GM. Yeah, the feedback. Like when we were
watching the Stars game last night, the guy had
a Fire Nico t -shirt behind the bench. Behind
the bench. Behind the Stars bench at the hockey
game. The sad thing is I guarantee he's gotten
death threats. Oh, yeah, he has. Crazy, right?
Who hasn't? Right. That's a good point. That's
a really good point. Anyway, about the Stars.
Are doing a little bit better. Well, they struggled.
They lost nine straight. They lost eight to finish
the season. Did they really? Yes. They kind of
backed into the playoffs. And then they lost
their first playoff game. And then they finally
won one last night in overtime. Yeah. Okay. And
what seed are they? They were one or two, weren't
they? I'm trying to find the playoffs. I think
they were first or second. They're second. Even
after a nine -game skid. Second in their division,
right? In that division. And Colorado's third.
So they do have home ice, right? But they blew
the first game bad. Wow. And then came back in
the second. They do have a couple of key injuries.
Rebo has been out, and Heskinen has been out
for a long time, since January, I think. And
he's like their best defenseman. He's one of
the best in the league. Right. So they're kind
of struggling a little bit with injuries. Not
that Colorado doesn't have their own. Like, Landeskog's
been out for years, and he's supposed to be coming
back during the series, and Robo may come back
later this year. So this series could change
in a hurry. It could, yeah. All right, so when's
their next game? Tomorrow. Tomorrow? I think
Winnipeg's going to end up winning this whole
thing. Oh, yeah? Yeah. I don't know enough about
any of these teams to have an opinion. Well,
you know what happened was they put them on victory
plus. Yep. Online. Are you kidding? I can't even
get the game? You can't get the game. Well, you
can get it if you get Victory Plus. Oh, come
on. You can watch on that. And it's free, right?
Oh, it is free. And they may, this says they're
simulcasting on ESPN. But the first round is
all going to be on Victory Plus, for sure. And
the regular season was all on Victory Plus. But
it's free. It wasn't on Bally. It wasn't on Fox
Sports Southwestern. It's free. You just sign
up for it. Yeah, I guess it was free. And you
just stream it. You stream it. They have crappy
commercials. Really awkward breaks, but they
have the same team. They have Razor and all the
guys, you know, Savvy, all the guys you're used
to listening to for the Stars game. It's just
on a different – they went away from Bally Southwest
for some reason. I don't know. They had some
kind of contract dispute, and they said, well,
we'll just do this thing. Well, there was a huge
– that was with baseball as well. Yeah. Bally's
had a huge, I don't know, collapse or lawsuit
or something. where they had to, all the baseball
got out of it, I guess the hockey, too. So now
the baseball, because they locked down viewership,
basically, on Bally's network. Oh, boy. So no
one was able to watch any. Unless you had ballys,
you weren't able to watch anything. That's a
really smart strategy for the league, don't you
think? To limit your exposure? Yeah, to bolster
viewership. Let's make it impossible to watch
the game. Something happened last year that broke
that whole thing apart, and the hope is that
you'll be able to watch a lot more Rangers games,
and now Victory Plus. You said it's free, though?
It is. That's at least smarter. Interesting.
Who did you say was going to win it, Jeff? Winnipeg,
I bet. Winnipeg Jets? Sure. I don't know either.
The Winnipeg, I don't know. I don't know what
they are. I will say this. So, NHL, I could watch
any playoff game and find it entertaining. Hockey
is an exciting sport to watch, especially in
the playoffs. Yeah, they get intense. Yeah, they
get super intense. Especially because it's the
kind of game where it can be, you know, three
to two, and there's ten seconds left. You know
what I mean? There's a flurry right in front.
And there's a flurry right in front of the goal,
and it hits the post, and it rebounds off the
post. I mean, it's just so cool. I do miss watching
hockey. I'm going to try to watch it tomorrow
night. The thing that I appreciate, and I haven't
watched a lot, so maybe I'm incorrect on this,
but the one thing that drives me nuts with basketball
is the last two minutes seems to take. Fuck an
hour. Oh, yeah, because they have a million timeouts.
Yeah, they save them all in all the commercials
and the timeouts. Yeah, the fouling. I'm just
like, come on. Get on with the game. And it seems
like that's a sport where the officials can affect
the outcome so much more than hockey. I know
they can make a bad call in hockey where somebody
goes. Or ignore a call. It creates a power play.
They did at the end of the game last night, but
go ahead. Yeah, well, I'm just saying. It seems
less likely. I can't stand it. When the game
should be pretty much done, and then they call
some bullshit call, and they send them to the
free throw line. You know what I mean? Yep. And
they affect the outcome. And one thing I can
appreciate with, I have a hard time sitting down
watching soccer, but the good thing about that
sport, there's no timeouts. The clock runs nonstop.
Yeah, but you never really know how much time
is on there. Well, because when these guys flop,
the refs keep track of some of this time. They
say, okay, we're in bonus time. It's usually
not more than 10 minutes, though. It's typically
around there, right? So you know you're in for
90 minutes -ish, and you're done. No commercials.
One half. Boom, you're done. One half time. That's
really kind of short. They don't have to mow
the grass. So you guys know how I have season
tickets to the FC Texoma, right? Because my son
works for the team. So we got like a crazy deal
on the season tickets. Anyway, so we've gone
to several games now. I have been to a professional
soccer game before, but this is the most I have
gone to games. And you know that it's going to
get into 91, 92, 93 minutes. But it would actually
be really cool to know exactly how much time
is left. You know what I'm saying? And you can
tell that they know it's getting close. They
start getting tense and they start taking more
shots and they try to make something happen.
Don't they usually put like plus six on the scoreboard
or something like that? The timer's off, but
they get to call it kind of when they feel like
six minutes is up. Yeah, maybe. I don't think
it's a hard six. It's not a hard six, yeah. Anyway,
but it is slow. I really think they should firm
that up a little bit. Yeah, they should. It's
because they can make this shit up as they go.
Kind of. They do. And I'll tell you what. And
they do. The whole flopping around thing. Oh,
it's ridiculous. I mean, Shelly, even Shelly,
Shelly's kind of like, she's like, oh my God,
get up! Get up! Because they're scrolling, you
know, they're rolling around just being ridiculous.
Grabbing their shin. Yes. And they just, they
act like they've been shot in the back with a
shotgun. And then no one really, they get up
and start playing again. Yep. Sprinting. They're
like, well, I thought you were hurt. It's so
dumb. It's so dumb. And I know it's at every
level they do this. But it really is nauseating.
Yeah, it is. It's fun to play. I remember my
dad took me to watch, well, way back then, you
didn't have ESPN and stuff like that. I played
soccer for a decade. So he's like, I'm going
to buy, I think it was like World Cup, but it
was on film. And we went into some big arena
with a bunch of people, and we sat there and
watched a screen of the World Cup games. That
would have been fun. But when I was 11. I was
sitting there going, this is the most boring
thing ever. I love playing it because you're
running. You're nonstop. Oh, dude, it's a lot
of running. But sitting there just watching it,
I was like, I can't. We watched maybe a half.
I was like, I'm out. I can't do this, Dad. Yeah,
and he was pissed. He was like, and we left.
He didn't make you stay? No. How did you have
that kind of clout to tell your dad we're leaving?
I think he saw that I was miserable. I was just
like. You start crying. Dad, I can't do this
anymore. I can't stand it. I don't think he was
really adjoined either, is the thing. He was
probably pissed that it was boring, too. Yeah,
he probably was like, damn it, he's right. Yeah.
But I have to show some kind of aggression here.
I spent a fortune to watch it on a screen. I
have no idea what you caused. Have you taken
your kids to, like, you know, to... live sporting
event now and they're just looking at their phone.
Why did I pay $50 for a seed or $100 for a seed
or whatever? I took them to the playoff a couple
years ago for the Stars Blues. It was a great
game. They went to overtime and they're sitting
there right in front of me just looking at stuff
on their phone. In my situation, if I'm taking
them to some sort of game, I know they're into
it. You know what I mean? I know they want to
be there. Brody is not my sports kid. Brody was
like, You know, Dad, you never have taken me
to a Mavs game or whatever. And I go, son, you
don't watch sports. Right. Like, Dawson and I
are watching the Stars together. Like, come watch
it with us. It's fun to watch. Well, it's boring.
Right. Well, he doesn't say that, but he's just
like, oh, okay. I'm like, well, I'm not going
to spend $100 on a ticket that's a cheap ticket.
Right. And you just look at your phone. I mean,
what the hell, man? What if it was a skateboarding
thing? Yeah. I would take him to it. If he told
me, hey, Dad, I want to go to this expensive
blah, blah, blah, I'd take him. Right. Because
I know he's into it. Right. Maybe we ought to
all try to go to a car show. I like car shows.
He wanted me to go on a Saturday morning. I was
all ready to do yard work. And he and Nick were
like, we're going to a show. And Jared, we're
going to a car show. Dad, you want to come with
me? And I was like, ugh. And I looked at Shelly.
She was like, you're going. She gave me that
look. He's asked you to go somewhere. You're
going. I was like, yeah, son, I'll go to a car
meet. Sure. It was cool. I mean, I don't know
what all the fuck the cars are, but they're all
cool. They're amazing. Yeah. I got to tell you,
I have no desire to go to a car show. However.
These are car meets. I think there's a difference.
I don't know. I like the car shows as well. I
don't have a desire, but I still will. I know
it's kind of a. double flexing here but it's
i don't really want to go but i really should
go because there is a lot of cool things there
and i know once i'm there i'll i'll start digging
in i'll be like oh this is really cool so so
let me ask when you say car show is it a like
the big dallas car show so like you're you're
like in an arena yes down in the convention center
okay So, yeah, that's different. I would do that,
too. Yeah, the Dallas Car Show, I think, just
happened in March. Yeah, you're talking, like,
at the local corner where they have, like, a
bunch of cars driving in circles. Hey, how you
doing, Bob? I'm doing okay. How you doing, Frankie?
Like all the Miata. Nice Chevy 57. Would you
pick that up? I fixed that up about two years
ago. But I'd never met any of those type of people.
But, no, the one I went to was, you know, and
I guess they have different ones. Was it the
Miatas? No, I mean, this one was. All the sports
cars you could think of, right? So there weren't
trucks, and there weren't motorcycles, and there
weren't, you know, old cars. Sort of Aston Martin?
This was, I mean, yeah. I mean, they were that
kind of shit. Porsches and Lamborghinis. Yeah,
we're talking million -dollar cars. Bugatti.
Two million -dollar cars. Yeah, the Bugattis
get expensive. It was insane, like, this shit.
And then, you know, of course, it was testosterone.
Oh, yeah. I'd like to go and try that out. We'd
carry a, you know. A little satchel? A little
satchel. Isn't that flask? Get drunk? You mean
like the coffee and car, Sunday morning coffee
and car thing? Coffee? Yeah. Like the car meat,
right? Yeah, it's the car meat. Yeah. Exactly.
Yeah. That's what these were. In some parking
lot. Yeah, and it's funny because they don't
last very long. They're like from 8 .30 to 10
.30 or 8 .30 to 11 .30. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And
so when the cars start to wind down, right, when
people start heading out, everybody knows that
they're going to. go out to the feeder road of
the highway. It was right north of 121, right?
And they were going to go, and they're going
to take off. So all the people walk over to,
and they line the road waiting for each car to
pull out and be wowed. Pull their pants down.
Yeah, they do that in downtown McKinney. They
have a lot of those car meets down there. Yeah,
oh, they have car meets every weekend. Yeah,
they do all the time. They have them in downtown
Frisco as well. Yeah, all the time. And my son
goes all the time. He loves cars. You know what?
That's cool. You know what? I wish I liked cars
more. I never got that fever. I have no desire.
I had to work on cars in the past, so I do know
some things about cars, fixing them. Did you
ever want to soup up your car, though? Oh, I
do. Put this on it and that on it. I want to
get me an old car when I retire and just tinker
and fix it. Fix it up like an old Mustang or
an old... Smoking the bandit Trans Am. And put
ground effects on it. Old Mopar. And fog lights.
No, I'm thinking I want to get one of those.
And what do you call the thing on the back? Spoiler.
Spoiler. A fin. A fin. You're going to put that
on your old Mustang? No. No. Well, I'll tell
you, the car show in Dallas, I took the boys
to that several years in a row. And it's fun
because you get to sit in cars you don't typically
get to sit in. Oh, sure. I remember I sat down
in a Porsche. you know, high dollar Porsche.
And I was like, my knees, my seat was all the
way back. I was like, this is the most uncomfortable
thing. I close the door and I was all crammed
in there. I was like, there's no way I would
buy this. You know, this is incredibly uncomfortable.
But I remember, uh, I think it was, uh, Brandon
was with me on this one or maybe it was Steve.
I can't remember, but they have a, like a, a
vendor fair as part of it. right okay so you
go over there and you'll see the chamois and
you have the knife guy and a bunch of car vendors
as well a million like booths and selling their
stuff well we went to one we walked we're just
walking around and the guy came up he goes hey
come here It was a audio. Why are all these guys
the same? Hey, come here. Hey, you want to buy
an S? What are you doing here? What's going on?
They got an eight bowl. Okay, sorry. Keep it.
What? I don't know. Try to ignore that, Sean.
Is he selling billiard balls? Yes. Yeah, try
to ignore that. And it was a car stereo place.
Okay. He goes, get in the truck. And so Brandon
and I sit down. surrounded by these big -ass
10 -inch woofers, speakers everywhere, just lying
in everything. Blew your ears out? And he turned
it on. He goes, are you ready? I like big butts
and I cannot lie. You other brothers can't deny.
No. I don't think you could ever be quite ready
for this. He turned this thing on and it just
went. There was so much air being moved. Wow.
Air being moved? The air was going like this.
Was your scrotum just bouncing? Oh, it was. It
was ridiculous. Was it all bass? Well, yes. That's
all you could hear. And this thing was just going
like this. My hair was... Brandon's hair was
doing that. And what's funny is... It's the worst.
That's not enjoyable. And I was like, yeah, that
was cool for about five seconds. And then we're
done. Then we got out, and we were standing there.
All of a sudden, one of the officials of the
place comes running over. Shut the shit up. He
starts bitching at the guys. Really? Oh, yeah,
because I guess it just cranked. It was so loud,
apparently, that it filled up the entire convention
center. Oh, no. And he came running over, and
he was yelling at this vendor. And you can't
do that. You just, you know. Blew these people
out over here and all this shit. Oh, wow. It
was incredibly. It was awkward, huh? Hearing
this guy get bitched out. We were just kind of
walking away. Yeah, I had a buddy that put in
those gigantic speakers in the backseat of his
car in high school. And I got a ride with him
home one time. It was awful. Yeah. I was sitting
in the passenger seat. I mean, my heart was.
jiggling around. My rib cage was awful. I was
like, what's cool about that? There's nothing
cool about that. There's videos out there of
people sitting in these cars with, you know,
there's 20 of these speakers. They've mounted
in the back of this thing. It cannot be good
for your brain or your ears. It can't be good
for you. Certain types of vibrations weren't
meant to be absorbed by the body. That's one
of them. It was intense. I was like, and it didn't...
It didn't necessarily hurt the eardrums, but
the amount of air. I mean, it was loud as shit,
but it wasn't the pitch that you're just like,
ow, that hurt. It was moving so much air. It
was incredible. It's seismic. Yeah. It's like
you want to have a heart attack. You're like,
oh, my God, this is going to affect me. But the
thing that always bugged me, I get it if you're
into music, right, and you're an audiophile and
you wanted the perfect sounding system. It made
the music sound like shit. It was just bottoming
out. All it was was like, look how badass my
big woofers are. Right. Look at my big woofers.
The woofers. You know what I mean? Well, even
when you're going down the street and you hear
the boom. Yeah. And it wasn't enjoyable to listen
to the music while I was in the car or outside
the car. Well, it probably doesn't sound good
inside the car. You know? All you hear is the
bass. Exactly. So all it was was a big, you know,
whoa, whoa, look at me. Yeah. Well, it's just
like these guys. You know, you hear these guys
who just jack up their truck with the big -ass
wheels. Yeah. They're compensating for something.
You know, one of the car shows I want to go to
that is, it's not, they're vehicles, but they're
RVs, the campers. Oh, I've been to those, too.
Those are fun. That's what, I would love to go
to those. You talk about pimping up your vehicle.
Oh, my God. They just had one of those not too
long ago. Because those don't mean moving home.
You know what I mean? That's badass. I'd love
one to have a moving office where I can just
go and drive somewhere, park there, and just
work there all day, nice little scenery, and
then just drive back home. Like wood paneling
all on the inside of your van? You know what?
I don't know if it needs to be wood paneling,
but they've got all kinds of cool things. That's
what I personally would like. Something that's
got a little sleep in right there. They have
those all the time down at Market Hall down there
right next to you. Campers, RVs? Oh, yeah. I've
been to a couple down there. I've never thought
of doing that. I'd love to go, man. That would
be super cool. Because I'm shopping. Tara doesn't
know that, but I'm shopping for an RV. I guarantee
there's one coming up. Dude, yes. I guarantee
there's one coming up. They're down there at
the Market Hall, down there where the Renaissance
Hotel is. There's so many. Down there by the
Info Mart and all that. There's so many different
vendors and so many options. Yep. It's crazy.
There's one right there, Dallas Market Hall,
September. Wow. I dig it. I would be cool. I
never thought of that. So I'll get Tara whatever
car she wants, and then I'll get my car. We just
got her a car, didn't you? Whatever. We'll trade
it in. I'm just saying. Dallas RV Super Sale.
2025, the largest RV show in the Southwest. Come
to Dallas Market Hall, February 20th and 23rd.
Free parking. We missed it already. Yeah, they're
up to date on their website. You know, Shelly
and I really, we talked about it quite a bit.
And here's the problem with the whole thing.
It's like, how often are you going to use it,
right? If you don't use it like at least once
a month or twice a month. But even when you do,
when you go to an RV park, it's generally like
55 to 75 bucks a night. Right. So it's pricey.
It is. Plus the fuel. The fuel. And, you know,
and I guess, I don't know, it just financially,
it doesn't seem like it's, I mean, I guess it's
better than. But you don't have to go to those
RV parks. That's what makes them cool. You could
park anywhere. Can you? I don't believe you can
park anywhere. Yeah, how does that work? Well,
you're right. You can't park anywhere. But there
are a lot of places you can park. I know a lot
of places like Walmarts. I don't think they allow
you to do that. Well, it's also hookup, right?
Sometimes they do. Some do. Yeah, there are a
lot of Walmarts you can. But my point is that
you don't always have to go there. I mean, the
idea to get one is to save money on the hotel
room. So from that perspective, it saves you
a ton of money. It does. It does. And once you
have one. then you can start making these plans
strategically. And you can find the best deal
because they're not all $55. Some are $25. I've
also heard, I've read, because I've looked at
them, and I read a lot of stories of these husband
and wives, like, yeah, we got one. Here's what
we found out. This is what's great, and here's
what's not. They're like, a lot of these RV parks
are a lot of the same people, and they're very
cliquish. And they all travel together. Yeah.
Well, they travel and they keep running into
each other. You got your groups and this and
that. And if you're not part of that group, then,
you know, it's not as fun and shit like that.
No one would like me. So you'd pull your speakers
out. Well, no, I wouldn't. But Tara would want
it. But I mean. She'd want what? To pull your
speakers off? I don't know. Look, we all do karaoke,
but I'm just saying I wouldn't personally do
it, but Tara would. She's out there by herself
just kind of performing for the entire RV park?
That's exactly what she'd fucking do. Jesus,
man. Really? Yeah, we're not bringing speakers.
I just changed my mind. But you know what we
could do is I'll probably launch some sort of
Bluetooth signal. You ever been to those silent
clubs where everyone has headsets on? No. Yes,
I've seen that. What? Instead of the speakers
and you're out there dancing, you put headphones
on and you're out there dancing. How dumb. People
get into it, man. So if you're just sitting there
not really listening to anything, everyone's
dancing out there to no music. That would be
so awkward. It can be, but at the same time,
it's just like, and everyone's doing their own
thing and they're listening to different songs
because there's different channels you can listen
to. So it's not all the same song. Oh, that's
interesting. I'm out. You know, the only time
I saw something like that is when we were watching
that Snarky Puppy video. That was the recording
video. Yeah, everybody in that whole place had
earphones on. Even the non -musicians. Didn't
you look into that? Didn't you know someone who
may have connection? Yeah, I did, and they shunned
me because I'm a Republican. What? Oh, my God.
How shallow is that? Why'd you tell them? You
should have said. It is what it is. I don't care.
But you know what? Here's the thing. Snarky Puppy
is a great blues jazz. Jazzy. I don't think it's
blues. I don't even know if it's what it's called.
Fusion -y jazz. Yes. And they've got all kinds
of stuff going on. They do have a variety of
singers that show up. There's not any particular
standard singer that shows up. Most of their
music doesn't even have a singer. It's instrumental.
Touring with Steely Dan right now. Yes. They
are tremendous performers. They're all on the
spectrum. They're elite musicians. They have
to be on the spectrum. Why do you say that? These
guys are freaks. Yeah, the talent in that band
is ridiculous. All right, so have they got any
ones coming to Dallas? They're in Australia.
Let's go. Buy tickets. Let's go. All right, Jeff.
May 21st, my birthday. You do it. Oh, Jeff, buy
the ticket. In Adelaide. Adelaide. Your treat.
Adelaide, Australia. If it's in Australia, you
have to have a COVID shot. That's to cross the
date line, so it would suck if we show up a day
late. Well, you probably would, yeah. Knowing
us, we'd show up a day late. It doesn't look
like they're going to be in Santiago Child. Child,
yeah. Child, please. Child. Santiago Child. Oh,
my Lord. All right. California. Where else? North
Carolina. Buenos Aires. Argentina. Pennsylvania.
Good Lord. It's mostly international. This is
the only part that's domestic. That's what's
left. Oh, they're playing in Lima, Peru. That's
where my brother was born. Did you know that?
We do know. In Peru? Yeah, my brother was born
there in Lima. That's a blue note summer sessions
at the Meritage Resort. Did you call Bean? No.
I call him David. I call him Lima Bean. Hollywood
Bull. You know, I would really enjoy seeing those
guys. They'll be back because a good chunk of
them are from UNT. Yeah. The guy who started
it is from UNT. Yeah, he was part of Soul Kitchen,
S -O -L. Not to take a dark turn, but did you
hear about the discotheque that the roof collapsed?
No, I didn't hear about that. You didn't hear
about this? No. In Dominican Republic, at first
they said like 60 people died, and then it ballooned
into 260 people. And then like a former NBA,
no, former MLB Hall of Famer got killed. All
these politicians got killed. I mean, it was
a high -profile event. Shoot, this is the first
week of April. The ceiling collapsed. 98 dead.
Just it? 98? They said 260 the last time I read.
The roof collapses at a Dominion Republican nightclub
killing at least 98 people. Okay, well, that's
better than... That has to be after some kind
of recovery. 98 people and 160 injured. Oh, okay.
It was awful, guys. I mean, it killed pretty
high -profile people. And you're just out there...
Look at that. Holy shit. Nearly 12 hours after
the top of the nightclub collapsed onto patrons,
rescue crews were still pulling out survivors
from under the debris, shushing those around
them so they could listen for their faint cries
for help. Firefighters removed blocks of broken
concrete, used saw pieces of wood as planks to
lift heavy debris as the noise of drills breaking
through concrete filled the air. It wasn't a
baseball player that died, it was his sister.
Well, they said a Hall of Famer got killed. It
was a whole bunch of people that were... It says
Major League All -Star Nelson Cruz was his sister.
Nelson Cruz was a ranger. Ranger, yep. Yeah,
there's more. There's more people that I know
for a fact. This is also killed was Dominican
baseball player Tony Enrique Blanco Cabrera.
Yeah, Octavio Notel. Notel, yeah. He played for
Astros? I don't know. And then the singer who
was singing. Was Ruby Perez. He's a merengue
singer. Merengue singer. Merengue. He died, I
think. Oh, he was performing. Yeah, he was performing.
Did he die? Relatives. Yeah. Relatives of merengue
singer Ruby Perez, who was performing. They're
still looking for him. Still looking for him.
Man, dude. It was bad. It was really bad. I mean,
it's crazy. When was this? Yeah, that might.
Beginning of April. You know what? That might
not have been the most recent story. April 8th.
See if you can find a later one because it gets
worse of how many people ended up dying. Crazy,
right? Yeah. It can happen in a flash. You never
know. That's what you go. Maybe there is a reason
for codes. Yeah. Got to wonder. Yeah. That makes
sense. You know, with a roof like that and it's
a flat roof and you've got those. Old stool.
Yeah, they're bracing big old heavy speakers
on there that vibrate. Maybe catch fire. They're
slapping rooftop RT or refrigeration HVAC units
up there that weigh 8 ,000 pounds or something
like that to cool the places off. But the roofs
aren't rated to support that type of weight.
And these people don't even take this consideration
to support that. They just slap it on there.
Third world country. 225 people died. Wow. And
I think it kept going up. It was bad. Can you
imagine that? That's just like a nightclub here
in Dallas, the roof collapsing. Right. And you're
out there. It may be like the Titanic thing,
but they just didn't know. Gone. And they weren't
sure who was in there. So they were trying to
figure out, can you imagine as the stories are
coming in? I mean, these were prominent politicians
from Dominican Republic. These are big -time
sports stars and all sorts of crazy shit. They
had no idea who was in there. What a mess. What
a mess. And yes, I think it had 100 % to do with
code. Just shitty building codes. That stuff
happens more than we know about. I watched a
documentary on Netflix about disasters, and they
covered hurricanes, tidal waves. Yeah. And there
was a big one over in the Himalayans that almost
destroyed Kathmandu. And they showed the city
of Kathmandu, and it looked so rickety. Right.
That's the problem. And I'm thinking, I'm like,
well, no wonder this city basically just collapsed
on itself. Yep. You know, it's made out of cinder
blocks and just sand. And I don't even know what
the hell they make it out of, but it's not built
really well. Nope. And then you have Tokyo and
Japanese cities where it's elite engineering
to where the skyscrapers are designed to shake
in sections. That's the way. Like the middle
shakes, the top shakes, and the bottom shakes.
That's the way Mexico City is. It's crazy. They
said that in Mexico, the guys in Mexico said
that it sways. Right. The whole building sways
back and forth. Unbelievable. So. Yeah, but,
you know, they don't have those codes over there
in these third world countries. Yeah, the cat
man, I mean, look at that, for crying out loud.
I mean, that's just a pile of bricks and rubble.
Yeah. And it's so compacted. Yes. That one building
falls, hits the next. I mean, look at that, just
the bricks and anything. But anyway. Yeah, so
with all due respect, we're going to. Let's see
if we can't talk about something a little bit
more fun. You're talking about earthquakes? We
were talking fun stuff, and then we got onto
earthquakes. Well, I mean, because we've got
some stuff that I'd like to try to do. I want
to go to the Waxahachie. How do you pronounce
that? Waxahachie? Waxatorium. Waxahachie. Waxatorium.
No, it's not your bathroom, Jeff. No, it's the
Waxahachie. They have the Renaissance Festival,
the Scarborough Fair. You know, I recommend all
people go. It's fun, first of all. You know,
lots of meats on a stick. And, you know, there's
different kind of turkey legs and meat. And,
you know, Chuck went out to Austin and went to
Wilshire. No, Sherwood. Sherwood. Yeah, we went
to the Sherwood on Saturday, right? So we spent,
like, most of the day out there. Got there about
noon. And it's their last weekend, right? So
they're kind of having some bigger things, I
guess. It was extra. Yeah. Oh, it's like the
ending fireworks type of thing. It was extra
boob shelfy. Oh, that he didn't send pics of.
I know. Epic fail. I've been thinking about that,
and not for not trying, right? But most of the
women with the boob shelves had men next to them,
and you're going to go take, hey, excuse me,
sir, can I take a picture of your wife's giant
rack? Yes. That's exactly what it is. That's
the approach, huh? I thought you just kind of
hold up the camera and look around and hold it
over your shoulder. Scratch your back and kind
of. Yeah, hold it over your shoulder and just
kind of go. See what you do? You could tie it
in. Well, for the iPhone, you could tie it into
your thing. You can use this as your screen.
So once you have someone else hold it. Maybe
we need a GoPro or something. Wow, we have some
professionals. Do you put that on the top of
your shoe so when you walk around you do those
little skirt shots? My big phone on the top of
my shoe? Shoe phone? Maxwell's smart or something?
How do you know? Look at his shoe. Look, I'm
waving at myself. He's got an iPhone duct taped
to his shoe. Okay, wow. So I think whenever you
say like a Sherwood, it reminds me just like
playing World of Warcraft and all the different
outfits. Robin Hood. That's where Robin Hood
is. Was it crowded? Was it crowded? Yeah, it
was pretty crowded. Yeah. And it was a nice day.
Pretty good turnout. Yeah. The weather was super.
And then, you know, you walk around, it's an
outdoor mall for everybody's woodcrafts. weaponry,
right? Yeah, sure. And then they probably had
candles and soap. Yeah, I bought some soap. Did
you buy some soap? I bought some soap, I bought
a hat, I bought gloves, and I bought a shirt.
And you also bought some for Kim. I did, too.
Yeah, I bought a little bodice lace -up thing.
Yeah, that was... That was a topic. Yeah, that's
the kind of pics we were hoping for. Yeah, that
was disappointing, your picks. Anyway, was there
events like jousting? There was joust. There
was archery. Nice. They had a jail. That's cool,
man. Did someone take you to jail? No, but somebody
else had to walk a shame. Shame. Shame. Were
they butt naked? No. Did you throw feces at them?
There was no nudity. Throw feces at them? Is
that a thing? Well, they did at Game of Thrones.
Oh, that's a good point. They should have made
it. And ejaculate. No, that was the silence of
the lambs that you're thinking of. I watched
Game of Thrones. I watched it and I never caught
the ejaculate. You didn't see the guy? You didn't
see the guy beating his dick? No, no, no. Slower,
slower. I'm almost done. You've got great throw.
You've got great throw. You hit her in the head.
You know what? That was an intense scene to film.
You have to know it was. She was literally walking
around naked with the people just throwing shit
at her and stuff. She probably had a merkin on,
though. You think so? Oh, yeah. So, Chuck, what
was the most favorite food that you got to eat
while you were there? Well, I mean. Speaking
of Birkin. Outside of the sausage on the stick,
which is a family favorite. But no. What did
I have? I had a gyro and I had fish and chips.
It wasn't like. Gyro? Yeah. But I did have mead.
And I'll probably never have mead again. Was
it harsh? No, no, no. It's really sweet. It's
sweet, but you fart like a barnyard animal immediately.
It's sweet, like sweeter than beer that we try.
It's like apple cider. No, hang on. It's fermented
honey. Okay. Oh. Yeah, so the sugar is in the
honey. I never knew that. Yeah. Yes. Yeah, it's
like a dessert wine, right? Yeah, and you get
a little half cup of it or whatever for the same
price as a beer. I never knew that. So we just
drank beer. I always thought it was like. what
the burly middle -aged men drank, and it was
like as stout a beer as you can get. No, but
I mean, I just thought it was like... They drink
what's available. Right. I'll have some of that.
It's me. Yeah, it's alcoholic. Right, they didn't
care. Do you have any that's not like... It's
fermented beef on it. They just wanted to get
blown up. That's all they cared about. Well,
they have to drink a lot of it. For sure. Well,
you know, I want to go. So you said this weekend's
out? Yeah, but next weekend, I think. First weekend
of May. The 4th. It's going to be rainy this
weekend anyway. May the 4th. Is it really? Star
Wars stuff. Star Wars stuff where? To May the
4th. Oh, may the 4th be with you. Not the 5th.
Not May the 5th. I can't believe I said that.
Is that supposed to be Yoda? Not the 5th, yeah.
May the 4th is on a Sunday. That was from the
Spaceballs. Remember Mel Brooks? Mel Brooks was
saying, hey, may the 4th be with you. The Schwartz.
May the Schwartz be with you. Yeah. Yes. I can
see that his Schwartz is as big as mine. No,
but he's got a Schwartz envy. It's such a stupid
movie, but it was funny. Yeah. Mel Brooks, man.
John Candy was playing Chewbacca, and he was,
what's your name? Barfala Mule, you know, or
something. So dumb. So dumb, but funny. He's
a mog. And it was the guy from Rick Moranis,
maybe? Yeah. Dark Helmet. Dark Helmet. Dark Helmet.
He's like, God, I can't breathe in this thing.
So stupid. It is stupid, but it was the sign
of the times. It was. And it was, what year did
that come out, man? It had to have been 85, 86,
maybe. Damn, is it that old? I bet. Good Lord,
Spaceballs. And he did all the airplanes, right?
No. Mel Gibson? No, the Zucker Brothers. Zucker
Brothers did airplanes. So he did the History
of the World. He did History of the World. History
of the World. Oh, 87, okay. Yeah, Mel Brooks
did History of the World, Frankenstein. Did Mel
Brooks die? Surely. No, no, he didn't. He didn't?
No, but John Candy and Bill Pullman are dead.
Yeah. No, Mel Brooks is still kicking it. I thought
he was funny. 98. 98. Good for him. No kidding.
So Pullman was the president on Independence
Day. Correct. I didn't know he passed away. I
didn't know that either. He was pretty young.
Wait a minute. Oh, maybe fake news. Oh, so he
is alive. Still alive. We're sorry, Bill. Bill,
if you're listening, we're sorry that we said
you were dead. You know he's listening. He loves
our show. I know he loves our show. Everyone
loves our show. Of course. And Mel Brooks does,
too. We should have him on. Everybody loves Dudes
Like Us. Check us out on Facebook or Instagram,
by the way, guys. Maybe I'm getting him and Bill
Paxton. Bill Paxton. Yeah, that's probably what
you're thinking about. Yeah, he died quite a
while ago, about a decade ago, I think, right?
Yeah, he was having an operation, what was supposed
to be a routine operation, and yeah, he kind
of bled out. He had some sort of heart... They
kind of nicked him. No, no, no, no. I'm thinking
of the guy from Three's Company. John Ritter?
John Ritter. Jack Tripper? He was the one that
was having a routine surgery and something went
bad. Was it Jack or John? John Ritter. I thought
he died of like a brain thing. Brain aneurysm?
Yeah. I thought it was a heart. What the fuck?
How do I know? It was a heart. You don't know
your celebrity deaths? No. It was an aortic dissection.
Look at that. I did know. How about that? There's
a thoracic aortic. Whatever. That's been 20 years.
That's the same thing. Well, who's the... Didn't
Joan Rivers die on the table? She did. And one
of the Bee Gees died on the table. Yes, you're
right. I know. Getting stomach cancer surgery
or something like that. Yeah. Look at that. Oh,
my gosh. She had a lot of work done. Cerebral
hypoxia. Wow. Brain damage caused by a lack of
oxygen. That's what she died of. How does that
happen? She was on the table, wasn't she? Yeah,
she was never awakened from a medically induced
coma. Medically induced. There's a lot of conversation
about how she was murdered. Say that word. Esophagastrodonscopy.
That was close. Hey, I give you partial credit.
I just see EGD. That was actually pretty good.
Esophagastroduodenoscopy. There's a go in there.
Esophagogastroduodenoscopy. EGD. Yeah, EGD. We'll
call it EGD. Esophagocat. Holy shit. Who made
that word up? Yeah, that's just a compilation
of bullshit. Yeah, but I learned from Trivial
Pursuit that every single cause of death always
is lack of oxygen to the brain. Every single
death in the history of deaths, that's what kills
you. So the decapitation wouldn't do it? Well,
it's always lack of... You quit having oxygen
in your brain, I suppose, yeah. Every single
death is ultimately caused by oxygen not making
it to the brain. No. That's true. So if you bleed
out... That's a side effect. No, it's how you
actually die. No. So your head is severed from
your body. And your brain. If you somehow hooked
the oxygen machine up to it, it would survive.
Yes. You would survive. Yes. Put a mask on it.
No. I'm not saying that's how you save everybody.
I'm just saying ultimately that's how the brain
dies. That's how you die. If you get smashed
into pulverized. Still no oxygen to the brain.
Like the guy in the Titanic submarine. Ultimately,
not enough oxygen got to his brain. He was squashed
down to the sides of an acorn. Because his brain
gave up really quick. It is falling apart. I
just remember. So if they're about to die, just
give them a tracheotomy. Yes. That was the thought
I had. I was like, well, if every single person
dies because they don't have enough oxygen to
the brain, well, then you could theoretically,
you know, put some machine. Just hook a machine
up the neck. Yeah, yeah. Just have their head
in a jar. And have oxygen continue to go to the
brain and boom, you're still alive. Ted Williams'
head is in a jar. There you go. And he's probably
still alive because they have oxygen. Well, it's
frozen. Did you see they opened up some of those
original people that they froze and it was just
goo? Really? Oh, be quiet. Are you serious? It's
just goo. Oh, that's gross. You just decompose.
Well, it's not just decomposing, but I mean,
the part about it is that when water freezes,
it expands. So you can't expect it to maintain
its structural integrity, you know? We're just
water anyway, right? Yeah, but still, when you
freeze, you become a third larger than what's
normal, you know? Because they stretch out, you
know? And it's kind of like when you freeze water
in an ice tray. It's like they would need to
desiccate you first and then freeze you. How
is that going to happen? You turn into beef jerky?
You have to take all the fluid out of you. All
the fluid. And they all went to mush. That's
just gross. Yeah. They replace your fluids with
something like antifreeze that doesn't freeze.
Maybe you drink a lot of alcohol that won't freeze.
Maybe some vatkas. We are so close to solving
immortality. Get Elon Musk on the horn. So close.
Guys, we're right on the edge. We're going to
IV this halftime drink here. Yes. Then we're
going to hop in the freezer, see if we live.
Key to immortality. Paul's first. Completely
soak your brain with alcohol. No, no, no. Paul,
get back in the freezer. I know you're cold.
Just go to sleep. I would be mush instantaneously
somehow. So all those people that have paid for
that, are they getting their money back? No.
Or their family? It's as is. You know, you would
think that they would have, like, they put a
pig in there first, you know? They would have
tested this. Come on, I mean, it's absolutely,
it's like when you vacuum pack anything and you
stick it in the freezer for a super extended
period, you take it back out, it's freezer burn,
there's stuff going on there that it's just,
it's never the same anymore. It's freezer burn.
Ted Williams' freezer burn. Yeah, definitely
can't eat that head. More if they put a little
bit of SPF 50 on there. God, awful. Just rub
it in, it's good for the head. Wow. Okay. That
wasn't on the list of topics today either. Cryogenics?
Well, we do have the Renaissance Fair. In all
fairness, we do need to get out there sooner
than later, Chuck. I encourage you guys to join
us. I know you're not huge on that, but I'd like
for you to go. It'd be a fun thing. We could
wear our dudes like us outfits out there. In
fact, we need to order some more, but it does
bring up the fact that it is getting warmer.
I was enjoying the weather. In a hurry. So springtime
is like slapping us in the face. It's like a
meat stick in the middle of the night just smacking
you. It just seemed to happen so fast, too. It's
like, boom, next thing I know I'm having to mow
and trim and edge and get my pool ready and all
this shit. Springtime just kind of boom. Yeah,
I'm not looking forward to it. The hot weather
in my job suck. Oh, yeah, that's true. That's
true. Suck. Do not enjoy it. You hate heat. I'm
amazed. Oh, it's the worst. So, I mean, when
it gets crazy, crazy hot, it's not safe. You
got to power through it. You got to stay hydrated.
You got to, you know, I take Celtic salt with
me. I do power aids. I try not, you know, it
stinks because I got these phobias of being poisoned
by all these. weird things that they're putting
in our food, like the dyes, you know, red dye.
But I still get the red Gatorades because I like
them. But, you know, you wonder. It's like when
they start telling you all these things are bad
for you, like RFK did some sort of speech today
regarding his fight against putting dyes into
some of the stuff that we're having. And I don't
know what the result's going to be, but he was
suggesting. You know, he's going to nuke the
food dyes. Don't worry, Paul. Your hair dye is
safe. Oh, good. Good, good, good. So the food
dyes contributed to behavior issues, drinks,
foods, and other lows. Your testosterone. And
now you have to look at ugly food, I guess. It's
basically because these dyes are no longer available.
Oh, because it looks pale and nasty. But, you
know, in a sense, there's poisons, petroleum,
and there's carcinogens in these dyes. Period.
So, you know, you got to pick your battles. I
don't really want them. Let's get them out of
there. Yeah. I mean, especially when they can
have them in the United States. But when they
don't have them in reciprocal countries, like
over in Europe, they're not selling the same
product. It's kind of like Lucky Charms. Making
that up. I don't know. But it's like Lucky Charms.
They sell the product here. But when you go over
to Canada, the Lucky Charms folks sell a different
product to them. It's like, how is that even
legal? I think we'll find that there are. natural
replacements to most of all of these. Right.
But the problem is they're expensive compared
to the synthetic, you know, synthetic dyes. Yeah,
they could probably make vats of the synthetic
shit. Right. Whereas you have to smash, you know,
a million beets. Yes, 100%. Carrots, you know.
Yep. Or carrots. That's exactly right. Like another
one is berberine, right? Berberine is something
that is a really good supplement for controlling
blood sugar, but it's super bright yellow. And
so they also use that as a dye, as a natural
yellow dye. So, I mean, those things are out
there. I think they could find replacements for
these things, but it's just going to be more
expensive. So Mr. Producer put up, he said, with
the addition, the six other petroleum -based
dyes that the health agency are seeking to eliminate
by the end of next year are green number three,
red number 40, yellow number five, yellow number
six, blue number one, and blue number two. Damn.
I mean, tell you what, give them credit, man.
They're jumping right in. Yeah, and they should.
They should. It's so long overdue. It's all about
the money. It is. It's all about the Benjamins.
It's all about money, and they're stepping on
the people of the United States because, let's
be honest, the United States, we're a host of
money. We pay for everything. We pay for everything.
We are consumers. We buy a bunch of shit here.
The world wants us to spend. our money on their
shit. And that's why I'm a huge proponent on
still riding on the tariff program. I really
am. You know, I'm in it for the long game, and
I know there's lots of people out there that
may be hurting, but at the same time, it's got
to be reciprocal. Yeah. I mean, just going back
to these additives, right? It's just... So we
are so brainwashed. Not brainwashed, but... We're
so consumer -oriented that it's like the shelf
life. Everything has to be super fresh forever
with all the preservatives. Because we're not
okay with a cookie that looks a certain way or
has a certain texture. Honestly, we don't have
a food distribution system that can handle short
shelf life. Well, you don't have the local farms
anymore. Right. That's exactly my point. You
don't have the local farms that can feed all
these general stores. Now you've got these humongous
farms who make this shit, store it in a warehouse,
and then ship it across the country. Yep, 2 ,000
miles, right? You know, whatever. And so we don't
have the system to do it. This shit will rot
on the shelves faster than people can eat it.
Well, I'll tell you what. I don't buy organic
vegetables because it looks like shit. Right.
I'm not going to spend 50 % more for a piece
of shit. That's getting all kind of wormy. Yeah,
I don't know. But I'm like, I'm not going to
eat that anyway because look at it. It's a piece
of shit. It's smaller. I get it. And, you know,
is it really that much better for you? Or is
the other apple that much so bad for you? Correct.
Right. It's not that it's healthier. It's just
that the other one's bad for you. Right? I guess
that's what the issue is. And it probably tastes
better. I think the organic stuff tastes a little
better. Yeah, probably. It's frustrating because
all I want to eat is natural shit that God put
on the earth. Have you thought about doing a
garden? That's impossible in Texas, man. Yeah,
you know, I have thought about doing a garden,
but it's just like, you know, we've got animals
and, you know. I bought Julie two raised gardens.
They're about three feet off the ground. They're
boxes. Oh, wow. And we're growing tomatoes and
beets and onions and lettuce. You spray them
with pesticides? I poured gas on them. Straight
to the petroleum. Honey, we've got some sort
of bug on our plants out here. Oh, just douse
it. No, and Brussels sprouts. He pees on it.
I've grown Brussels sprouts, too. I urinate on
it. But something's eating the fucking Brussels
sprouts. There you go. What the fuck? Right.
Well, you've got to put some sort of ejaculate
on it. You could, yeah. You got throw? You don't
even have to go out there. Yeah, exactly. Do
it from the back door. I'll do it out the window
right here. Well, you got to figure out what
is attacking it, but I'm all in. I'm all about
that, you know, because we've got pretty big
backyards, and I wouldn't mind getting a hell,
man. You could attach it to your fence. You could
put a trough, a little 18 -inch trough, all the
way around your fence, four feet up, and connect
it to the poles. There's no reason why. There's
something. I would actually get into that, totally.
It'd be fun. It'd be fun to go out there and
see how it's growing. And to water it would be
super easy. You get the little tiny tubes, and
you hook it up to the faucets. It's a drip system.
And there's a little timer, and you just run
it along the whole fence line, and it turns on
certain times of day. I think that would be a
fun hobby. I really do. Well, I'm doing it. And
the other one is, at some point, I'd like to
get some chickens. Is that going to sustain you,
though? No, it's not. And the chickens, what
is the legal recourse as far as code goes? I
don't know about Frisco. No, you can't have chickens.
I know that for a fact. But you can't have roosters.
I wouldn't want a rooster. I wouldn't want one
anyway. No, I mean, I'm just saying. No, that's
a good point, though. But I know you can have
chickens. I know a couple people that do. Let's
talk about the bourbon because Chuck wants to
bring up a topic. Yes. The cash, what was it?
Cold Heart Cash. Cold Heart Cash. You want to
do that first? It's just a quick hitter. Yeah,
let's do it real quick. So anyway, shout out
to my buddy Keith and his band Cold Heart Cash.
I saw them last weekend. This is what I did Friday
night, right? We went out and saw, let me turn
on my music. Oh, nice. Because they debuted their,
it's a cover of the Johnny Cash song, I've Been
Everywhere. Okay. So it's kind of funny. He redid
the words to. I mean, he's pretty good, right?
And they got this 57 Chevy out there. That's
kind of cool. They made a music video. They made
a music video, and he changed all the words to
be local Austin joints. Oh, that's cool. Bitch,
please. I've been everywhere, man. I've been
everywhere, man. See, we need a Dudes Like Us
intro like that, you know, with a little music
video with us. They got a cello going? Scrambling
to get to the podcast room. It's a stand -up
bass, but yeah. Stand -up bass. She said cello.
I did say cello. Hey, I'm not a musical instrument
expert. That's how we're just listening to them.
Yeah, that's good old -fashioned Texas stuff
there. That's pretty good. What's the name of
them again? Cold Heart Cash. Cold Heart Cash.
And they're available. Yeah, Heart. Cold Heart
Cash. Very nice. Yeah, very nice. Well, that's
a good shout -out, man. Yeah, they're brilliant.
They're fun guys, too. And, you know, I wish
them all the best. They come out here to this
area at all? You know, I don't think so. So they're
all in Austin, you said? Yeah, North Austin,
Georgetown, Round Rock, you know, that area.
Very nice. It's a real cool scene. There's probably
a dozen different bars, handovers and shooters,
and they were playing at the point. Well, we'll
have to get a mobile set up. We're going to get
the mobile set up anyways. We have all the components.
Well, if we ever did a Dudes Like Us trip to
Austin and check out some distilleries. Hell,
we could do a Dudes Like Us trip to the backyard
with the mobile set up as far as I'm concerned.
I'm just saying, we could see them in Austin
and go visit some distilleries. Why don't we
do that? Yeah, go steal Austin. We could do a
mobile one in your backyard. Go to your backyard,
set up the system back there. Just kind of do
it. A couple headphones. Do a test. Do the pool.
I wouldn't get in the pool with it. All our wires.
It would not be a good idea, yeah. Okay. All
right, what do we got? We're talking about our
bourbon now. Yeah, so this is a new one. This
is one that I brought back from Kentucky. Again,
looking for things that I can't find here. So
this is from Bardstown Bourbon Company. They're
right off the highway. So we've had a bunch of
this Bardstown stuff. This one. It's super unique.
It is. It really is. So this is a single barrel.
This is from their distiller's reserve. You can
only find it there. The bottle's actually signed
by their distiller, which is kind of cool. This
is a six -year. The mash bill, looks like this
is a, I can't even read that. It's a rye. 60
corn, 36 rye, and 4 %? Oh, that's different?
No, this is different. This is 70 corn, 18 rye.
Dammit. Chuck? And his is a zero, which doesn't
make sense. And a 12, malted barley, I guess.
So 70, 18, and 12. There you go. That doesn't
add up to 100, does it? Well, like I said. Yeah,
it does. So you said it's a high ride profile
that you said? 18 points, yeah. And yeah, this
is, I wrote down a couple things. When I first
sip, it almost tasted like candy, like cherry
to me. I taste brownie. Brownies. Brownies. I
swear to you, this is like the first time I've
gotten a light chocolate, fluffy brownie taste.
Yeah. Yeah, the very first pool that I took,
I was downstairs, I let Julie taste it, and she
enjoyed it quite a bit. I was getting almost
like cherry candy type of flavor. Are you doing
the bourbon chew? It's good. You know, it's interesting
because it tastes like it should have a very
spicy, you know what I mean? When it first enters
the mouth, it's got that. It pokes you. Yeah,
it's like, I'm going to be spicy. But then it
totally tapers off. Totally. It totally finishes
it, but it doesn't die on the finish. It goes
into a sweet finish. It's a floral kind of finish.
This is really odd. I mean, it's good. It's fruity.
It's sweet. I almost want to say I got a little
hint of mint. I could see that. So this is really
difficult for people to get. You said it's only
available at the distillery. At the distillery,
yeah. So this is basically rare. Yeah. Well.
Well, I think when you look in here, what the
Barco pulls up is not this bottle. Right. It's
like a single barrel, and it's just uncommon.
This one is not in here for me to actually see.
Man, I don't know. Usually I struggle with coming
up with things that I'm tasting, but they're
all hitting me here. Roasted almonds. Yeah, there
is some... There's some nutty stuff in there.
There's some bitter nut in there. I'm going to
say bitter, like a nutmeg kind of... It's a baking
spice? Yeah, maybe that's... Although the nose
is unique, too. Oh, it's 110 proof. Did you say
that earlier? Yeah, 110. I didn't hear you say
that. Wow, that's nice. This is excellent. Yeah.
Yeah, this is a good one. This is... And I...
You know, excellent from the standpoint of unique.
We don't have a lot that stands out like this
in terms of a unique profile. I think this is
excellent. What do you think, Chuck? It's tasty.
I mean, I'm getting everything that y 'all say
and then some, you know. It's real smooth and,
I mean. Yeah, well, if you, yeah, I don't know
how many, this is a single barrel, so I don't
know how many bottles they have of this. But
it's going to be a once it's done, it's done
kind of a thing. And this is a six -year -old
Kentucky straight. You know what? We make fun
of the thing. It makes a huge difference. Do
you guys do that? Because you should. Do it even
if you think it's goofy at first. I'm getting
much more out of it. Well, it's because you're
exposing your tongue to oxygen. And it's a reapplication
every time. I mean, I don't want to do it in
the mic. Right. I do. We all have. Yeah. Yeah,
it's really good. You're like stretching your
labia is what you're doing there. I know. Lord.
Okay, why? How is the analogy there? Yeah. Yeah.
Don't worry about it. Yeah, look away. So Bardstown.
Look away, Jeff. Just look away. He did. He's
like, I just said that. Don't make eye contact
with me right now. I'll send that to you later.
Okay. So what house is the Bardstown on? Bardstown.
They're their own thing. Yeah, okay, so they're
not on here? They should be. Bardstown? It should
be in the... I don't think Bardstown is on here.
I can't read the purple, so who knows what's
in the purple? That's Willett. Yeah, Willett
is the purple. So we've got the House of Bourbon.
Bardstown's got to be on there, guys. That's
a major one. Okay, so... On this chart, they
do not put the single -off ones, right? So if
it's just Bardstown and they just make Bardstown,
that's not going to be on there. Yeah, Bardstown
just makes Bardstown this. What a shitty chart,
man. Did you come up with this, Chuck? Thanks
for printing the shitty chart, Chuck. I think
next time make it all that dark purple with black
ink. What a massive letdown. Kind of like your
boob shelf pics. Yeah. You're not on a good streak
right now, Chuck. We did two of the distillery.
We actually hit this on the way out of town.
We got there about 9 .30. We threw a big brick
in there and just went there. Julie was your
getaway driver? She was. Actually, she was driving.
She was rear -ended all the way through the glass.
Just drove through. That is more her style, by
the way. By the way, the Frey folks reached out
to me. What did they say? They said, good luck.
Yep. They said, because I was inquiring about
the 100 % wheat, and they were saying, well,
we got another release happening later this year,
but it's in -house purchase only. So you got
to go to the distillery to purchase it. And that's
in Utah? It's in Nevada. It's in Fallon, Nevada.
So I'm just trying to figure out, wrap my head,
what the cost associated with that pickup is
going to be. Well, you fly into. Well, you're
going to be $300, $400 to fly into Reno. Can't
we just. What is the name of that? We need to
contact that liquor place and ask him to go buy
it, and we'll just pad him a couple hundred bucks.
That's Battle Born Spirit and Wine. Battle Born?
Battle Born. That sounds like a bar in Skyrim.
He's got a Instagram. You know, I'm not giving
up because I got to tell you that buttercream
wheat that we had out there from Frey is desirable.
Super, super fantastic. I didn't like it at all.
I don't even like it. At all. I respect that.
But you know what? I enjoyed it tremendously.
What was the one I didn't like at first? The
Ambrosia or Ambo? The RD1 Spirits? The Amarano?
Amarano. Yeah, that stuff turned out to be delicious.
It did. And I own it. I own it. I had a total
180 on that one. So maybe if I try to pray again.
We've got RD1 spirits that are supposedly going
to be joining us in the third week of May, I
think, or something like that. Outstanding. Maybe
the fourth. I don't know. Yeah, there is. That's
the guy right there. That's him. I'm going to
reach out to him. Rare character. They're the
rare character. Rare character. Beautiful. That's
him. Nice guy. Knows his shit, too, man. there's
another rare character well this was a fun podcast
guys yeah we shared some interesting stories
I gotta find that I gotta find that guy on Instagram
yeah there was some good stories you know yeah
can't remember any of them me neither you know
what I will tell you that so people that I'll
be everywhere man people that listen they'll
like come up to me and they'll be like Yeah,
so how'd you like that blah, blah, blah? I did
that too. And I was like, what are you talking
about? Yeah. And they're like, on the podcast,
you talked about blah, blah, blah. I was like,
we did? Really? What podcast? Yes. I mean, dude,
I have no memory of anything we do here. That's
not good. It's crazy. Well, if you need a recap,
you can always check us out on the Facebook or
Instagram. Right. So check us out, dudeslikeus
-podcast, dudeslikeus. dudeslikeus -woodcraft
on Instagram or Facebook. About to crash. No,
this is good. I haven't even... Yeah, I'm going
to enjoy this. Me too. A little I got left. Yeah,
I don't have a lot left. How much time do we
have? We didn't even give it a score. Oh, okay.
110 proof. I'm going... I'm going to go 7 .8.
I was going to give it an 8. I'm going to give
it an 8 .1. It's good. It's good stuff. I'm not
going to say fabulous because that's Jeff's word,
but it's fantastic. It is fantastic. Stupendous.
Very nice. All right. All right. Well, why don't
you sign us out, Mr. Come on. Sign us out, Mr.
Sean. I was enjoying it. And frankly, I think
I choked a little bit. All right, dudes, I guess
I'm Sean. Okay. Wow, that was tough. I'm Paul.
I'm Jeff.