Did we test the laptop audio? Yep. Okay, cool.
Whoa, really? Wow, we checked all the boxes before
we got started? What are the odds of that? Our
podcast room was emptied. Completely deconstructed.
We have rebuilt it better and bigger than ever
before. Bigger, stronger, faster. For $6 million.
None of the above, Joe. None of the above. It
definitely looks better. It looks cleaner. It
does. It's always good when you make your bed
in the morning. You know, you start your day
off with being well -groomed. And you feel fresh
and energized. We still have some cable management
we need to do. And the carts are nice and fluffy.
It is. How about this carpet? It is. I like what
we did. So, you know, and there's no April Fool's.
I know it's April Fool's 2025 today. But it's
not April Fool's. By the way, guys, you fucking
suck. I hate all of you. April Fool's. But what
if it's real? No, no. Now, look, welcome to another
episode of Dudes Like Us. Thank you, Mr. Producer
Chuck. Look at him. He's just pounding away at
that sample already. That's what I do. Easy,
easy, brother. There are no seconds here. All
right, so it's April 1st, 2025. Check us out
on Dudes Like Us on Facebook and Instagram. We're
there. Dudes Like Us podcast and Woodcraft if
you're up for their swag. I'm Sean. I'm Paul.
And I'm Jeff. And we have not done this in a
while. No, we have not. We've had lots of things
going on over the last, what, three weeks? Well,
you have. Well, yes. Dude, you went traveling,
you little shit bird. Yes, I did do that. We
can talk about that. But we had to tear the room
down first. So on prior podcasts, we have alluded
that Jeff had a major crisis with a hot water
or water heater. dumping its bowels down below
Jeff's house. Because you poorly maintained it,
right? Is that what it was? It was. I was up
there hitting it with a hammer, and I was like,
what happened? You're like, how do I make it
hotter? What if I hit this pipe really hard?
Julie wants the water hotter. How do I do that?
Right. Well, I will tell you guys, I cannot leave
my house without throngs of people saying, oh,
hi, hi, Paul, Paul, when are you guys going to
post your next podcast? Throngs. Throngs. And
it's getting irritating. I have to take the dogs
out the back. So if we could stay on schedule.
You don't have your security team, like, make
an opening for you? I don't. I don't. I don't.
I can't afford the security team that you guys
have. Anyway, but I take the dogs out the back
now. I don't have a problem with that. We used
to have problems. Chuck had a problem with that.
One of our neighbors, old Jesse, chased. Chase
Chuck down. Hey, man. Oh, HOA drama. Oh, Lord
have mercy, man. I mean, some of these people
are just ding -dongs. You said you were going
to clean the pool. How come the pool's not clean?
These guys are just off their rocker, man. How
about me? I had to program the pool cards when
I was on my HOA. And so I'd be like, oh, I don't
get paid for this shit, but a new person, you
know, joins the neighborhood. And so I'm like,
okay, let me go program their card. And then
I have some other little trinkets for them, you
know, that the HOA board wanted me to give them.
And I'm like, ding dong. Hi, welcome to the neighborhood.
Why you want? Like, oh, fuck you. I'm like, uh,
I'm here to give you your new pool card, and
here's how it works. And if you have any problems
with it, okay, I'll complain. Did you talk about
your other trinkets, like nipple rings? Well,
I mean, we had some. Nipple clips. We had some.
Dildos. Yeah. That's a neighborhood delicacy.
Here's a box of butt pillows. By the way, our
next HOA flea market we're going to have out
is next week. It's our biannual yard sale. Gently
used. Yeah. Gently used. This was all before
What's -His -Name and his parties. So, yeah,
we didn't know about all that stuff. But, no,
it was more like, you know, like. People who
are trying to advertise stuff. Like in the neighborhood,
somebody who owned an irrigation and somebody
who made cookies. You know, they wanted to kind
of advertise their shit and give free cookies
as samples and shit. We all make cookies. Well,
I mean, these are real cookies. You know, it
is that time, though, right now for flea markets.
Not flea markets, but yard sales. Most communities
right now. Isn't that right, Mr. Producer Chuck?
Is yards turning? Yeah, the weather's turning.
Well, I think it's because also this is the time
of year a lot of folks try to sell their home.
Is it? Yeah, the springtime is big because they
want to sell it and be in place for the next
school year. Or generally spring cleaning. Well,
that too. Yeah, they're just like, you know what,
I've got to get rid of some of this shit like
I did the other day trying to get cars into the
garage because my son was like, there's a hailstorm
coming. I've got to get the car in the garage,
which means you've got to move your motorcycle
to the back and it's not going to fit. Now what
are we going to do? And so it was a lot of work
to rearrange that garage and clean out stuff
that's been that way since 2003. Right? Right.
So, you know, made a dump run. So, anyway. A
little disruption. Chuck's over here. I guess
we started talking. He got an erection. And it
pushed the button in his pocket and set off the
alarm for his car. Nice. Is that what happened?
Your car alarm went off? Exactly. Well, we're
doing that as well because we had to pull basically
everything out of closets and rooms and all this
shit you collect over. the course of 20 plus
years right right so now i've got boxes over
the course of six months i mean it just oh i
know oh yeah it just keeps coming well then you
know i still have a couple boxes downstairs i
gotta go through some stuff that brandon left
i'm like do i keep this does he really need this
shit right you know don't ask just throw it away
and i'm sitting down there and uh so we did that
i threw a lot of stuff away i called my closet
threw a bunch of clothes away i haven't worn
in years i'm like why do i keep my suits One
thing, they don't fit me anymore. Well, not yet.
No. There's no hope. It's like junior. There's
no hope to return to that. No, I put the jacket
on and I can close it, but the cut. That guy
in a little coat. Yeah. No, but I wore the shit
out of those things when I was in the hotel,
and I'd sweat like a pig in those. I'm like,
I'm just going to get rid of these. I don't even
know why I kept them. It was funny because my
son was getting frustrated because I would be
like, you know, there's some things I'm like.
i'm throwing this away i was like no no no you're
not throwing that away because i'm a i'm a pack
rat but also in the garage you have shit that
like you know that's like you need something
for the perfect jerry rig right it's like uh
that thing is is I don't know. It's the perfect
size. That board is two foot six and a half inches.
It's perfect. Or, you know, oh, I need a metal
rod that's like, you know, eight inches long
and, you know, I think I got one of those. You
know what I mean? It's just like stupid shit
like that that you never know until the day somebody
throws that shit out. That's what happens to
hoarders. I may need this. I may need this box.
My wife has trained me and I don't want to say
trained, but she's... She has. Yeah, I guess
she's trained. But the thing is, I'm starting
to let go of a bunch of stuff like that because
all it does is build. Frankly, I can't do shit
in my garage anyways because my kids have commandeered
it until they move out, you know, as far as with
their extracurricular. It's always 70s. kind
of theme. I don't know, what is that, 70s show?
70s show. They got a 70s show hangout in there
and I'm just like, okay, that's why I'm going
to get pulled over. Great. Yeah, but my son was
like, so you're just going to take all that stuff
and move it to this corner for the next 15 years?
And I was like, yeah, pretty much. Or, I said,
when you have your own garage, you can have nothing
in it. Whatever. You can throw everything away
and then you go, damn it. Maybe dad has something
I can use. Right? You have an eight -inch metal
pipe? I renovated somebody's house for an older
gentleman. He's passed away now. But his name
is Dwight. And I think I may have spoke with
him in the past. His name is Dwight Owen Coons.
Yes. He was a flight surgeon for the Apollo program.
And he was also a doctor. And my mother -in -law
worked for him for an extended period. I hope
he was a doctor if he was a flight surgeon. Yeah,
he was a doctor. And he maintained his practice.
He was also a paratrooper for the Canadian Air
Force. He's got a huge history. So he was a huge
pack rat. We were remodeling his house. He had
passed away, and we remodeled his house while
he was there. He passed away, and his wife continued
to allow us to continue remodeling sections of
the house. We do a kitchen, a bathroom, and then
the patio, and just kind of jump from one spot
to the other. And then she was like, hey, my
husband has things in the attic. I'd like for
you to get them out. And I was like, oh, okay.
Like get rid of them or just tell me what's up
there. She wanted to see what the fuck's up there.
So I'm bringing him down and dude, I shit you
not. He drank a lot of coffee and he had every
coffee can he has ever purchased. Empty. No.
He had a lid on every single one and they were
filled. One was filled with nuts. One was filled
with bolts. One had screws. One had hosiery.
Those are good organizational habits. but there
were thousands of them. Oh, God. Thousands of
cans? Well, maybe not. I'll be a little sarcastic.
There were hundreds, for sure. That gets heavy.
And were they labeled? Yeah. Okay. They were
organized. At least he knew where they were and
what to get out of them. He had so many things
up there. He had a lot of relics from the Apollo
program. Oh, that's cool. Yeah, he had tons and
tons and tons. Oh, that would be so cool to go
through that. I actually had so much. You should
have asked him if they landed on the moon. That
didn't come up. But I will tell you. Where are
the flagpoles? It was kind of. No shadow. Did
she have no shadow? It was interesting because
his last name was Coons. And back then, I know
I've shared this before, but he had a picture
hung on his wall, and it was a picture of Earth.
And the other astronaut said, hey, we could not
have done it without you. But his last name is
Coons, and back then it was okay to use the word
neg in that tone. And it was accepted back then.
I mean, it's not accepted today, and I don't
condone it, don't endorse it, et cetera, et cetera.
But that was okay back then. In fact, when I
looked at the picture and I looked at his wife,
and I was like, it says to neg. And she was like,
yeah, boo -boo. And I was like. Oh, and she just
said it right out like it was nothing. She's
like, oh, it was nothing to say back then. It
was like a common thing. It's not an offensive
thing to say it back then. So anyways, he got
the name Dwight Owen Coons. Was he a black guy?
No, he was white. His acronym was Doc, D -O -C,
Dwight Owen Coons. And on the, we could not have
done it with you. And it says, to Nick, we could
not have done it with you. And all the astronauts
had signed it, and it's a picture of the Earth.
And I just think that was kind of a cool, I want
to say artifact. It was a cool piece to have.
And it's not something you probably find in the
Smithsonian. Oh, no. Yeah, I don't think they'd
display that at the Smithsonian. But it's still
cool to have. That's his nickname. I guess that's
hard to... And I still have all kinds of little
NASA relics. these prototype spaceships. Like
the fuse that Apollo 13 needed to get home? Is
that the one that almost didn't make it back?
Apollo 13? Yeah. They had the fuse. A man -made
fuse? Yes. Well, no, they had multiple challenges,
right? They had to power the thing completely
down and power it up so that it didn't exceed
a certain ridiculously low amount of power. Otherwise,
it was, you know, yeah, they would go. They wouldn't
have enough power to make it. They would pop
it. Yeah, they wouldn't be able to make it work.
And then they had, filtration problem and they
had to take whatever was in the craft and make
something so that it would filter out the excess
carbon dioxide or they were going to pass out
and die. There was like a number of things that
would have killed them. I need to watch that
movie again. It is a miracle that they made it
back. It is a fantastic movie. How's that with
the one with Tom Hanks? Oh yeah. It's Apollo
13? And Bill Paxton. Was it Apollo 11? 13. It
was Apollo 13? Yeah. Ronald Howard. Richie Cunningham
made that movie. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. Whatever happened
to him? You mentioned, sorry, go ahead. Whatever
happened to Richie Cunningham? He makes movies.
Yeah, I mean, but just in general, he hasn't
been in the news yet. You don't hear him blasting
off about politics or anything like that. Isn't
that refreshing? He did a little bit during the
whole election thing. Oh, yeah. It may have been
during COVID, but yeah, he pretty much kept his
mouth shut, but I did hear him spout a couple
of things. Yeah. Nothing too offensive. When
you talked about like the artifacts that people
find in their attics about NASA or whatever,
it reminds me of the time that I was working
at this company where this woman as a side business
would put together slideshows like, you know,
40th birthday, 60th wedding anniversary. And
so people would bring her like pictures and stuff
of, you know, what to put together for the presentation.
And so I was walking by her cube and I was looking
at all these pictures that were laid out on her
cube. And I was like, are these? They were pictures.
of the three leaders in World War II. So it was
Stalin and Churchill and Roosevelt. And I was
like, I looked at her, I go, are these first
person pictures like from someone's camera? Yeah,
I'm doing a slideshow for... Were you like, look
over there. Yeah, he was a photographer during
the war and she bought me these pictures and
I'm like... Do you have any idea? And it was
all the pictures you would never see in a textbook,
like from the side and from the top and him zooming
in. It gave me goosebumps that this guy was there
taking pictures of this shit. It was amazing.
And that kind of stuff is like... It's out there.
It's out there. It's going to get lost. These
people are going to die, get lost. It's going
to go to some estate sale. Some collector. Somebody's
going to buy these two walnuts for a dollar and
not know that they're worth... $10 ,000 as a
set. But you have to have a set. It has to be
both of them. What is that show they have on,
it might be PBS, where someone brings something.
Antique Roadshow. Yeah, the Antique Roadshow.
God bless. I have that. When we turn the TV on,
it automatically goes to that show right now.
It's a trip. I love watching that thing. These
people are just always astonished. They're like,
oh my God, this spoon is worth $10 ,000? I ate
my porridge off of it. And then they get, pictures,
like picture frames, and they get just for the
picture frame, not for the picture, and they
tear it open. It's like, oh, here's a first edition
declaration of the independence. I was like,
what? I mean, it's crazy what people have out
there, and they don't know it. And you just stumble
upon it sometimes. And they don't, and they don't,
the children don't know what their parents have.
This was under my bed, rolled in a carpet. This
lady had a Civil War sword by a specific general.
And it had been under her bed in a carpet forever.
So when they moved, they were like, where am
I going to put this? I don't know. Let's just
tuck it here. So it was under there forever.
Right. Through several mattresses. And when they
moved, they were like, oh, what is this? Rolled
it out. This thing comes out. Right. And then
they found the sword. Insane. And he killed her?
Yes. You find other nefarious things under there.
You know the worst story I heard, kind of related
to this, it was in Israel where... These children,
as a surprise to their parents, bought them a
new mattress. Wow. Took the old mattress out,
threw it away, put the new mattress in, and the
parents come in. It had his life savings in it.
It's kind of like if you get a new workbench
in your garage. Yeah, like your son wants to
buy you a better organizational system, and then
you're like, oh. You cut me deep, Jeff. Didn't
that happen to you, Sean? 100%. I'll tell you
what, man. Don't fuck with another man's tools.
You know, I've got, it happened, you know, it's
like. And it's so hard not to be like a loving
dad. Oh, this is great, son. This like is totally
better than what I had. Are those like good blades
that you cut that with? So he tore out all sorts
of stuff. Yeah. And replaced it with something
that was like totally minimal. It was like two
by fours and a plywood. And you're like, I could
do a lot of work on this. Thanks, son. Yeah.
Well, you know what? Whatever. It was the thought.
It was the thought. But how do you not be like.
Well, I remember when that happened, he was just
like. You were fighting. You're just like, I
can't yell. Yeah. Don't say it. Don't say it.
Tell him you love him, Sean. Tell him you love
him. Yes. And you're like, fuck. So did we ever,
did we, we went to the whiskey festival, the
Plano one. We did recently. Have we talked about
that? No. We haven't had a podcast since then.
Wow. That's a lot. That's not even on the board.
What the hell am I thinking? Well, I looked down
and saw the tickets that we got from the Bent
Distillery. Yeah, we haven't talked in, what,
three weeks? Yeah, so that was our second excursion
to that festival, and this time we did not have
the honor of having Mr. Jeff with us because
you were frolicking, gallivanting. Not at that
time. I was probably in Arkansas somewhere driving
back. Whatever. You were off in your Kentucky
experience where he had, oh, look, this is Joey.
Oh, this is Joey. One after another. Did you
count? It was 421 pitchers from 8 to 10 distilleries.
Well, you know what? Good for you. And I saved
all of them, actually. I got them in a little
portfolio. But while he was out there doing this,
man, he had a great time. Went out there to visit
his sister, squared up on some family business,
went out there to go visit the bourbon trail.
You went to a bunch of them. While he was gone,
it was Scott Cash and the rest of the dudes without
you were out there. We represented. We did. We
did our best. We saw 1845 folks were out there.
Shout out to Lowry Crossing, 1845 Distillery.
You guys are... Fantastic. But it was two new
people that I had never met before. These were
salespeople. Brandon. They were the external.
Right. Brandon was out there. Brandon and, not
Sophia. It started with an S. Clementine. Huh?
Sarah? No. We'll go with that. Susie? No, it
was like a long name. Sharon? Stefani. Stefani.
Stephanopoulos. It couldn't have been Stephanopoulos,
but that sounds similar. Snuffleupagus. Stuff
me. Did he have a filtration problem in the room?
Can you smell that? Yeah. Oh, sorry about that.
Are you sorry? Did he just shit himself? No,
that's not true. No, he shit on us. So it was
1845 Distillery. We had Austin, Craft Spirits
there, Balcones, Bent, Wyoming Green, Maverick
Whiskey, Iron Root, Giant Texas, Mossy Horn.
That was Maverick. Maverick. Maverick. I've never
heard of that one. Maverick Whiskey. It was actually
pretty fair. I apologize if Jeff and I are muffled
at the moment. We have our shirts over our faces.
due to a filtration problem here in the room.
So Jackie Mack was out there representing the
6th Street Spirits, and they had a barrel strength.
You know what? I don't know if you know, last
year when we had this podcast afterwards, Paul
had to be evac'd because we just got slobbering
drunk. We didn't eat beforehand, and it was a
train wreck. It was an epic train wreck. This
time we were like, hey, look, we're showing up
early. It was a dramatic improvement. It was
still a fail. I don't consider it a fail. We
had goals. I don't consider it a fail because,
look, I wanted to have fun. And I wanted to drink.
And we had a driver. We had a plan. We did. And
we ate beforehand. So, yes, we were drunk. But
at the same time, it was a controlled, fun, good
time. It was a major improvement. Sean had every
meat on a stick that was available in downtown
Plano. Yes. Yeah, well. You went on a rampage.
A food truck rampage. Hey, look, I try to eat
healthy all week so that I can anticipate that
kind of stuff. And the trend prevails. Hey, man,
I've lost another five pounds this week. I'm
pretty excited about that. Oh, good. Well, there
you go. And so we followed up by getting, we
went to the same bar. What is the name of the
bar we went to? I don't know. Train wreck. No,
but we walk in there. We sat at the same table
that we sat last year. Did you have bandanas
on? No, we did not. We didn't. I'm telling you,
we were toasty, but we weren't fucked up. We
were fucked up last year. On the right back,
Chuck did activate a lot of safety domes with
his kind of aggressive, touchy -feely tendencies
in nature. What is going on? Outside of that.
I was in the front seat. Yeah, which made it
really weird that you were reaching back. Did
I bask in a sun visor? That was another time.
You were almost comatose in the back seat. You
were just kind of, oh, my God, I'm so drunk.
You sounded like a sorority girl at a frat party.
Oh, my God, I'm so drunk. I've been roofied.
What is my butt for? I don't understand what
happened. What happened? Whatever. It was a great
time. We enjoyed it. Chuck, we got to. Take care
of your son. We never really did pay, did we?
Right. Because I kept asking. We got to settle
everything up. Yeah. Well, we got to set up because
I need to get funded for the tickets. They were
$30. I think I'm out of the pocket. $135. And
the bar tab and the ride. I was asking, what's
the amount, gentlemen? Well, all right. Well,
let's get that set up. Jeff bought like a fucking
20 bottles of bourbon while he was out there.
He came back with a trailer full of bourbon.
I had to get a hitch for the car. Yeah. Hey,
man, I'm excited. I'm super excited. And Jeff,
I think he's a little butthurt because we didn't
want to jump in there and open all the Christmas
presents. They want it to be like Christmas every
week. Yes, we want it. You realize it's going
to take the rest of the year to get through all
of it. Hey, I'm excited about that. Christmas
every Tuesday. I called it. Didn't you say that?
It's our Tuesday advent calendar. I love it.
Yeah. I'm in. They're our first ones tonight.
We'll talk about it. We'll talk about it a little
bit. Open the little door. Anyway, so we got
a ton of... Shit, I've got five bottles at the
house we haven't even brought over yet. Good.
So we're not buying whiskey for a while. I'm
going to have to do a payment plan, like I said.
Well, it is what it is. But the whiskey festival
is good. Balcones represented out there. Mylon
McGream represented. Shout out again to Jackie
Mack from the 6th Street Street. They were introducing
a barrel strength, which was pretty good. That
was Austin Street. Did they have Chuck's favorite,
the spiced one? No, they did not have that one.
No, no, no. We laughed our asses out there. So,
6th Street, Austin, or Austin 6th Street, whatever
the name of that is, that's the one with the
guitar bottle. And I think we have sampled it
before, and we were like, well, that one, Jeff
bought a peculiar, what was that all about? It
was like a candied one? No, what I bought was
a rock and rye. It was terrible. Yeah, but there
was some sort of, like they dumped a box of Nerds
in there or something. What was that all about?
I mean, it was hard candy plus cloves plus...
You're talking about a bottle that you purchased
elsewhere. Okay, because I was at the festival.
Those were good. Yeah, they were fine. Do they
distill their own shit or are they buying their
juice from someone? You're always asking these
difficult questions that we're supposed to ask
them. Do you guys make your own distillate? I
ask them. Do they? No, I can't remember. Are
you sure? I'm positive. And, you know, it's kind
of crazy because now that MPG is, aren't they
going private or something where you can't even
get their shit anymore? They're starting to pull
back their own stuff. Well, they've opened up
their own line. If you see Ross and Squibb Distillery,
that's MGP. So they'll bottle it under Ross and
Squibb. Like Remus is Ross and Squibb. And they
have a few others out there. they purchased Penelope.
So Penelope is now owned by MGP. Interesting.
And Penelope was MGP juice anyway. You mean Penelope?
Penelope, yes. Penelope. Yeah, okay. Penelope,
yes. You always say it wrong. Yeah, Penelope.
Okay, so our Mr. Producer brought up Austin Street
Spirits, and it says it's a micro distillery.
So you guys might be wrong. Wrong. Very wrong.
I think they make their own stuff. I don't know.
That's why I asked the question. I thought she
said that they buy MTP juice. It was good, though.
I was impressed. Now, granted, it was towards
the end in terms of the circle of booths. I thought
it was right in the middle. It was on the end,
meaning you kind of circle and come back, which,
you know, at that point... That'd be the middle.
No, no, no. Because there weren't as many on
that side as the other side. All right. All right.
Fair enough. Fair enough. But here's a big win.
Remember last time we didn't make it to the end.
Dude, we were drunk on the third booth. We didn't
make it. We didn't make it to the end. And I
didn't bring my... You didn't finish it again?
This time, we not only made it all the way around,
we went back to several that were our favorites.
So it was a tremendous... We hung out at the
1845 booth for an extended period. We did. There
was a huge gust of wind that had just come through.
It was crazy. And we're just like the 10 by 10
tent was almost airborne. We all jumped up and
grabbed it. And they were like, oh, thank you,
thank you. And we immediately just hold our glass
out and just fill our cup. It was constantly
being filled. We didn't have to be a hero for
that. But it was appreciated. Did you make any
more contacts for podcast visits? We told a number
of people about the podcast, for sure. Yeah,
but we need to get the t -shirts. And I think
Chuck... Oh, hey, you want to bring them? Jackie
Mack totally called us out on it. She was like,
You're seriously not wearing. Oh, look who he's
got. You're not wearing your pocket. Here we
go. This is the reveal, gentlemen. Oh, wow. He
had shirts made. Throw it to Paul. I don't want
you missing. All right, let's take a look here.
Are they size fat? You two need to trade, I think.
I love it. I think you need to trade. Sean, Paul.
Oh, no. I'd smell that. I'd smell that. So on
the back, dude's like his podcast. I'd smell
that. That is awesome. Are you talking about
the size? Yeah. Oh, okay. Is that you? Yeah,
I've got a 2X. This is an XL. I've got a 2X.
Yeah, I've got a 2X. Okay, all right. Whatever
you need. I have one extra. Let's describe this
for our listeners. So on the front right patch,
it says, dudes like us. It's a barrel top. At
the end of it, there's a microphone. State of
Texas. That's sharp, man. And on the back, that's
a bigger one of the logo, and it says, I'd smell
that. And that's a direct reference to, I believe.
Natalie Portman's asshole. Jessica Alba. Jessica
Alba. What? I'm not sure what prompted somebody
else to say that. Something about her. You said
that. You said that. What are you talking about?
I would never say that. You're talking about
just some other person. Why would I say that
about another woman? That's crazy. I don't know.
Only you could answer that. Yeah, I know. Okay.
Only you. Because I would smell that. All right.
Anyway, so. I think we all would. These are fantastic,
Chuck. Yes. Just walking around with them. At
all events. Just say hi. At all events, we need
to wear this. 100%. Because we'll stand out and
be like, what is that? Even on our Friday runs.
I know that might seem corny, but it's not. Yeah.
All right. Deal. it's already a thing where like,
you know, the people at Total Wine would be like,
these guys, they do a podcast. And we're like,
yeah, we do. Chuck, he also got, is it a monthly
or annually subscription? So he got an annual
subscription to the software that you use to
get the graphics to make those. Is it just the
graphics or is it the whole t -shirt thing? Well,
yeah. Well, you can, it's called design .com
and you can go have them kind of create, Maybe
a half a dozen logos for you. And then you can
pick one and send that off to Amazon and have
them printed on a shirt. Yeah. With the graphic,
you know, JPEG or whatever you got. Oh, I've
got two of them here. I bought an extra. All
right. This is fantastic. Yeah, very cool. Thank
you for taking that initiative. That's super
cool. That turned out very, very well. Yeah,
I'm super excited about that. I can't wait to
contemplate on the next one. But right now, I
think we're going to... We're going to wear those
Friday, right? I hate it. Are we all in town
Friday? I'd smell that. I think so. Good grief,
man. I know. I think so. You know where we should
wear these? Remember you signed up for the White
House press conference? Oh, yes. Did we get our
press pass? We are wearing these. Caroline Lennox
calling on us. Our press credential. You know,
I need to follow up on that. See, we're going
to stand up and the camera's going to be like,
and everyone's going to see, I'd smell that.
As we're asking our question. Actually, we need
a little, on the front side, in the lower section,
because the shirt will fall down over our waist,
we put a little scratch and sniff right there
on the very bottom. That's a horrible idea. Well,
right now it's near our butt crack, so. Yeah.
It's just lower back. Lower back. Small. That's
great. That's good. And we had a great time,
the Whiskey Festival. And Jackie Mack, she's
the proponent behind pushing us to get those
t -shirts. She's told us that several times.
And it's just like another failed opportunity.
You know, we are starting to take the podcast
step by step a little bit more, better and better,
like tomorrow, for example. First of all, are
we caught up? Yes. I believe so. Yeah, we're
100%. So, I mean, tomorrow, are we prepared to
come here and edit? And do our new routine. Yeah,
in theory. I mean, I have a dinner. I have an
executive dinner tomorrow. Steak and potatoes?
That's Thursdays. You know what? Whatever. We'll
figure it out. If we can't do it, we can't do
it. Again, we want to make an agreement. Whatever.
The thing is that we need to get it out sooner
than later. And we also need to depend on Jeff
to get this shit done all the time. right you
know dudes like us out there you know this is
what we do for fun it's our hobby it's something
that we enjoy doing we've been friends for a
long time and there's people that have approached
us and says you guys are idiots you need to freaking
start your own podcast and we're like you know
what i think we'd smell that i think let's do
that we'd smell that hey man you know it was
just a compilation of errors that we just stumbled
on this it just worked out i can't believe this
is where we're at now even though we have eight
listeners And thanks, Mom and Dad. Shout out
to Larry. Shout out to Brian out there. All of
our kids. We know them all by name. Yeah, well,
you know. It's a good time. I think there's more.
I don't trust those analytics. It's really frustrating.
There is more. It's frustrating that, I mean,
in this day and age with how important those
numbers are to people that are monetizing and
have their business and stuff, how are those
numbers, like, super accurate? I don't know.
I don't know. They can't do it. They can't get
accurate numbers. It's so weird. They even say
they can't get accurate numbers. I know. That's
what I mean. It's like, what? I guess really
the best thing to do is how many subscribers
you have. And that's really what we need people
to do is go to Instagram and subscribe. Well,
you've got to look at YouTube. You've got to
look at YouTube. You've got to look at... Yeah,
Instagram, the followers. Well, that's a good
point. We're on so many platforms that it's diluted.
Yes, that was the word I was going to use. I'll
tell you what. If the listeners out there are
listening right now, you can direct messages
on Instagram or Facebook. Do the Dudes Like Us
podcast on either of them. Just give us a help,
man. We're super smart but super dumb or ignorant
or whatever. I hate making it sound negative.
We just need to be pushed. And we've had some
great advice. from several people. And really,
at the end of the day, we need cameras. So if
you guys want to help fund our cameras, God bless.
That would be wonderful. Check out our Facebook.
I have a QR code directly to the DS Murphy Productions
bank account. Feel free to send it. Hey, nice.
It'll fund the dudes like us. Maybe. Speaking
of funding, so you're done with the... God bless
the... The repairs in the house, 100 % done.
And we're still kind of trying to get things
cleaned up a little bit, step by step. Things
look great up here. Super excited about it. Yeah.
We did a rearrangement of the green room. I think
it was an improvement. Yeah, I think so too.
And you know the irony? I know you had a big
blowout in your attic with your water heater.
I had a much more fortunate experience. The water
just didn't, it wasn't hot anymore, right? And
so it was like, okay, the pilot light must have
gone out in the attic, right? So I go up there,
and the pan is full of water. Oh. And I'm like,
that's not good. And so I call my buddy, who's
a plumber, and he's like, he figured out how
old the water heater was, and he's like, with
a leak, he's never seen one not have blowout.
So I was extremely fortunate. Where's yours at?
In the attic. Well, I know, but what part of
upstairs? Right over the media room. Literally,
it actually straddles the media room and the
game room where my bar is. Oh, yeah. It straddles
that wall. So it's right over the pony wall we
want to take out. Yeah. Interesting. Yeah. You
should let it go. Should let it go, I guess.
Yeah. Oh, yeah. We could have paid for that remodel,
I guess. Yeah, I guess. That's not too late.
I would not. Hey, it sprung a leak. Yeah, it
was an experience. And you kind of walked me
through it in that emergency moment, Sean, and
I appreciated that. I was like, you know, so
we grabbed a hose and hooked it up super quick
and started draining it down into the tub and
kind of got the emergency passed and then I could
shut it off. Yeah, you got to be careful too.
Some people, it has happened in the past where
once you start draining it, a lot of the integrity
of a water heater is when it's full. Right, because
the pressure of the water is kind of holding
the walls together. So some folks are like, well,
I drained it. It's about halfway. I should be
good for now. Well, that's not because the pressure
kind of collapses inward a little bit. No, I
drained it completely empty. That's good. There's
little simple things on how to drain it by allowing
air in and making sure. They don't make it easy
because they have a knob at the base where you
hook the water. the hose to. We figured that
out. It should be a valve that you simply, it's
counterclockwise or clockwise. And one's open
and one's closed. Like all the way open, all
the way closed, right? With this one, it's similar
to a gas line where it is a T -valve, essentially.
So it's like halfway open is open. So you turn
the dial a quarter turn. Right. You turn a quarter
turn and - In either direction, yes. Yeah. If
it's alignment, it's open. Otherwise, closed.
If it's perpendicular, then it's closed. But
it just doesn't make sense the way they did it.
It doesn't. And it's funny, because Brody's down
in the bathroom, and you're walking me through
opening it up, and he's like, it's a little harder.
No, it's off. No, he's got a little bit more.
No, it's not. And then finally, you're like,
make it aligned. And he's like, oh, it's blasting
out now. So we're like, ah. How many days did
you go without hot water? Same day. Oh, same
day. Yeah, I mean, as soon as it got cold, we
were like, I went up there to see what the hell
was going on. And you know the other funny thing?
I'm like, I know I have one of those things that
lay in the pan and are supposed to set off an
alarm. And I go up there and I'm like, why didn't
it? It's sitting outside of the pan. I'm like,
well, that's helpful. And not only that, though,
that unit had died long ago. Like he was trying
to get it to go off, like to test it and stuff.
And it had, dude, that thing's been sitting in
the, you know, sweltering attic for 20 years.
So it's these experiences, and I'm glad we're
talking about it, you know, and it's unfortunate
that it happened to Jeff, and it's fortunate
that the way you caught it, but it's, dudes like
us go, shit happens. Because once that stuff,
you know. I mean, the first one, I did proactively
change. Because somebody had told me, when it
gets about the 10 -year mark, you need to just
go ahead and replace it. And I did, with no problems.
I think there were no problems at the time. This
one, I let go 15. And he was like, yeah, you
got rid of it. You've been in the house for 25
years? No, since 2003. That's when we moved in.
22, yeah. 22. So in the first one, I think it
was eight years, and then 15. So 23 years, yeah.
Well, shoot, man. We're getting old. I know,
right? Yeah, we moved in here the same year,
2003, over Labor Day. Yep. Ours was like February.
And why I distinctly remember that is I watched
Columbia, the Columbia shuttle. Remember it re
-entered over Texas? Oh, is that when it blew
up? I watched it break apart on the horizon going,
what the hell was that? And it was an empty house.
Like we, I was with my brothers. We were kind
of having a little camping night before we even
moved in. Right. And they were sleeping, and
I was looking over at the horizon out that window,
and I was like, and it was sonic boom. I was
like, dude, what is going on? And then my pager
went off about 15 minutes later. Communication
with Columbia lost. And I was like, no way did
I just watch that happen. That was insane. And
that's basically when I moved into the house.
I was wondering how that conversation came up.
I know. I'm going to dismiss. Yeah, you're like,
quick left turn, huh? Yeah, well, I was trying
to make a left turn somewhere else, and then
I lost track of what was going on. Yeah. Well,
cool. All right, so what else has happened in
the long break that we... Well, March Madness
is going on, and I have watched zero of it, and
I could care less about it this year. Yeah, I
don't care about it at all. I didn't even do
a bracket. Not that I really care, but I don't
even know who's in it at this point. I see up
there it says Final Four, all number ones. Yeah,
so that's the first time in 17 years that all
four of the regions... The number one seed made
it to the Final Four. I've been hearing a lot
of theories on this that the day of the Cinderella
team could be over because of the whole NIL thing.
Because what happens is this whole transfer portal,
it's wrecking basketball just like it's wrecking
football. Yep. What's happening are these big
schools, the number one seeds, are poaching the
good players off of all these little teams. Stacking
teams. So you may have a SMU that does really
well one year because they have a really good
player on there. They make it to the Sweet 16.
Well, Duke's going to go to that guy and go,
I want to pay you this much if you come play.
Okay. So then SMU's back down. I get so confused
about NIL. So you're saying the schools are paying
them? Yes. I thought they were allowed to have
endorsement deals. I thought their money was
coming from them. I thought the schools had a
budget they were able to pay these people. But
Duke is in the Final Four, aren't they? Typically
on the Final Four? Oh, well, they're always.
Oh, yeah. Yeah, they're perennially good. So,
Chuck, can you look up how does NIL work? How
does the. It's name, image, likeness. Where does
that money come from? It's name, image, likeness
is what that stands for. Right. So, like, they'll
get paid for if they're on the video games and
shit like that. But I also think the schools
could pay them. I could be 100 % right on that.
Yeah, I've always been curious about where the
money comes from. I think boosters can do it.
All right, let's see here. You're right. It's
name, image, likeness. Money for college athletes
comes from NIL collectives. Collectives. Boosters
and donors. Boosters. Boners. Boners and boosters.
That's like AOC saying farts. I was 100 % wrong.
Okay, I admit that. It says not directly from
the universities or NCAA, but those boosters
of Duke are working in conjunction with those
coaches. You know it. Going, I want that person.
Go get them. Before it became, quote, legal,
that's what the boosters were doing. That's how
SMU got the death penalty. Yep. I mean, and that's
how Johnny Manziel got paid by A &M boosters,
right? Yep. I mean, that's just how it worked.
Yep. Well, now it's legal. Now it's legal. So
that's what's happening. So some of these schools
that you can see pop up every now and then. So
they have bigger, more money. The bigger schools.
The bigger schools have bigger boosters. Donors,
alumni. So they've got more money to spend, just
like in Major League Baseball. The freaking,
you know. Dodgers. The big city programs have
more money to spend, and they can go way over
the cap. Yep, yep. That's bullshit, man. So that's
kind of the theory, because all the top teams
were winning, and the Cinderella's weren't there
this year. Yeah, the lowest rank in the Sweet
16 was Arkansas at 10. And they should have won
that game. They should have beat Texas Tech.
They fell apart in the last three minutes. Crazy.
I didn't really care. Yeah, my sons, they both
went to Arkansas. So they were giving me shit
about A &M losing. Oh, yeah. And so as soon as
they said it in the same breath of like, yeah,
we're playing Tech and A &M lost. And I would
go, I said, go Tech. And they were like, don't
be like that. I was like, dude, then don't dog
on A &M, man. So who's in the final four? It
is Florida. Duke, Auburn, and Houston. I know
nothing about those teams. And I did pick Auburn
to win the whole thing. Go figure. I might have,
for the first time ever, been this far as a possible
winning team. This is the first time I don't
think I've paid any attention to this. War damn
eagle. What's that? War damn eagle. It's funny
because, coincidentally, I had an opportunity
to... grab some tickets to the Mavericks today.
And, you know, I was, or not, it was for tomorrow
night, you know, or, and I was, I had, I really
didn't have any, any inclination that I'd go.
And I called Paul and I was like, do you want
these or do you have any desire to go? And he
was kind of like, fuck, no, I'm not interested.
Did you go see Luca? Absolutely. We should have.
Was LA coming to town? Oh. Oh. Oh, he went to
the Lakers. Oh, now it's awkward. Yeah, I'm sorry.
I don't have any desire to see them right now.
None. So it's just like, you know. Even the Lakers
I wouldn't want to see. I could care less about
the NBA right now. Yes. I'm done with the NBA
for a while. I mean, I really am. I'm just waiting
for Kaitlin Clark to come back. That's all I'm
waiting for. That's it. Nothing else. Where'd
she go? The fever, the WNBA, they haven't started
up yet. Oh, I thought she got sick or something.
You're gay. I know. You get all bent out of shape
about my excitement about watching her play basketball.
I think she's great. So NCAA women's basketball,
has the viewership dropped? I don't know. That's
a good question. Since Caitlin Clark. Did you
watch any of it? I did, but I didn't watch men
either. So, I mean, I haven't watched any college
basketball. Well, you watched the women's quite
a bit last year. Only because of Caitlin Clark.
That's what I mean. So I was curious what their
viewership was like this year. Did it dip back
down? I don't know. I would assume they kind
of did, but I don't know. We'll see. And then
now there's some players in the WNBA talking
about a boycott because they don't think they're
making enough money. I was like, if they, because
they have a collective bargaining agreement that
they have to. They don't bring in the money.
I know, they don't. their agreement has expired
and they need a new one, right? So the players
are talking about, like, boycotting because they
want more money. It literally would be the, what
do you call it? The death quell? The death? Nell.
Nell. Death Nell. I don't know. I never use that
in a sentence. This might be the first time in
my life. That would be the death Nell of the
WNBA. I can promise you. Yep. Well, the NBA funds
it. What is that word, Nell? What does that mean?
N -E -L -L -K -E -N -L? E -N -L -L -L? Death
Nell. What does that word even mean? Do you guys
know what death knell means? All right, it's
K -N -E -L -L. A bell rung to announce a death?
The tolling of a bell to mark someone's death.
No shit. So basically, if they did that, you'd
hear a bong. Did you know that? Bring out your
dead. I did not know that. That's very interesting.
When somebody says death knell, it's a bell meaning
they died. Is that Star Wars? That is Star Wars.
That's Darth Vader. Hold on, but they've got
another one. Oh, my God. Are you confusing yourself?
Yeah, because there is another one like that.
No, it's similar to the Darth Vader march. It's
the Imperial March. You know what? I don't care
anymore. It's like, boom, boom, whatever. You're
doing it again. There you go. You don't recall
seeing that? It's like when the Reaper comes
in. Isn't that the wedding march? It's like when
the Reaper comes in on any classic Warner Brothers
cartoon. He's like Hanna -Barbera, right? No,
well, Warner Brothers. No, no, no. Let's just
stay focused. He's talking about death knell
and an ominous song. Yeah, I know what song you
mean. I have no idea what the name of it is,
though. Okay, well, let's quickly move on then
before it turns into that. God. Anyway, do we
have a drink to talk about, or is it too early?
I don't know. Yeah, let's talk about it. All
right, well. We have probably about 15 minutes
left, so let's talk about it. All right. Well,
who wants to do the honors? All right. You know
what? You're the one that gallivanted all over
Kentucky. Why don't you tell us the story behind
how you found this? I drove 1 ,000 miles for
this. Just for this? Yes, just for that. And
how did you pick it, and what is it? It is a
bourbon. My wife and I stopped at Heaven Hill
Distillery, and we did the tour. They don't have
a distillery on site there right now. They do
not. Just the Rick Houses. They are building
one. Yes, a very expensive one. $200 million.
Oh, shit. That's a lot. $200 million. Jeez. And
it comes during a time when the market is softening.
Yeah, I know. 100 ,000 square feet. So you tour
the different rickhouses, and it's very, very
interesting. And you get to sample a bunch of
their stuff as you go. JTS Brown is one of them.
Yeah, I know. So in the gift shop, you have all
their stuff, and you're hoping that they'd have
some. some drops there that you could get. Yeah,
some uniques. Right. But when I was up there,
they had all the standard shit. I wasn't going
to get that. But I'd get distillery only or Kentucky
only because we can't get it down here, right?
Right. So this Five Brothers is Kentucky only.
We can't get it down here. Okay. So that's why
I picked it up. It's not real expensive, 50 bucks
maybe, 90 proof. Super easy to drink. Oh, yeah.
Super easy. Almost too easy. Yeah, I could, like,
stick a freaking straw in there. I mean, start
to finish, it's sweet, sweet, sweet. Yeah, it's
very sweet. I wrote a note down that on the nose
there's lots of vanillas and just sweetness on
the nose. I wonder what the mash bill is. It's
got to be a ton of corn. 78 % corn, 12 % rye,
10 % malted barley. There you go. There you have
it. And, you know, the site of the Rick Houses
is where they had that meltdown. The fire, yes.
Yeah, the distillery. caught fire that the distillery
was on site farther down that road and it caught
fire and all the rick houses went up correct
and it was a river of fire yeah she didn't talk
she talked about the the fire a little bit uh
she showed us some where there were still some
scorch marks on some of the buildings you could
see uh but then that was 1994 96 when was that
fire it was late 90s i think yeah something like
that and um What's interesting, the name Heaven
Hill comes from the land that these five brothers
bought. Is that the picture of the five brothers
you were just showing there? I'm sure it was.
I'm sure it was. Interesting. So these five brothers,
I can't remember their names. I'm sure Chuck
will find it. Is it Jim Beam? Did I see? The
Shapira brothers. They bought it from a gentleman,
all this land called Heaven Hill. Yep. In 1934.
Approached Moe's, George, Gary David, and Ed
Shapiro. Yeah, so they bought it from a gentleman.
His last name was Heaven Hill. And when they
went to, they were looking for a name and everything
for this, and they're like, well, let's show
honor to the person who owned this for years
and years and years. Very nice. So they submitted
it to the patent office, and they had it one
word, Heaven Hill Distilleries. The clerk who
got it thought they made a mistake. And she added
the space in there. Oh, wow. So that's how it's
Heaven Space Hill. Heaven Hill Distillery. Interesting.
And they didn't want to spend the $35 to fix
it. And so they left it that way. So they left
it that way. That's great. Yes. Hey, scroll down.
I see a reference to Jim Beam. What's the reference
there? Keep going down. When it was burnt down,
well, I don't know. Right there. From the beginning,
members of the making family oversaw the distillation
process. Of course. Yes. In 1935, it was Joe
and Harry Beam who brought their know -how and
set the standard for quality. Dude, everything
in Kentucky is somehow linked to the Beam family.
It's insane. It's just like anything else. You
get a car, you're building a motor. It's just
simple. It's just like arithmetic. It's like
a recipe. It's just standard building blocks.
But they had to do it. But when their distillery
went down, they used the Jim Beam plant. To make
their stuff. Oh, nice. And then they ended up
buying the Bernheim distillery plant. And they
bought that later on and started making their
stuff there. And then finally, the oldest, I
don't know if it's still one of the brothers.
Anyway, the oldest CEO, the CEO is starting to
turn over the reins to the next generation. And
she said that he was very frugal. That's why
he didn't build a distillery. But the new crop
of kids coming up are like, no, we need to spend
money and expand. So they call that niggardly?
Yes, he was. Yes, he was very frugal. You know,
it's crazy. In other words, he'd cheapskate.
Yes, he was. She said that he was very frugal.
Kept doing what he was doing, right? Isn't that
crazy how you can't say that word or guerrilla
warfare or anything like that just because it's
part of it? Because it's misunderstood very easily.
I mean, both of you just cringed when I said
that, even though the word was germane to the
conversation. It's true. 100%. I can't. But why
did you say it? For the shock and awe to watch
YouTube. Of course, exactly. Yeah, but it was
a true word and it fit. No, it is. You used it
correctly. You did. I'll give credit for that.
All right, so here's in November 7th, 1996 is
when this interesting employee reported smoke.
Downs and Parker Beam hopped inside Beam's truck.
So, dude, even Beam employees were working in
1996. It's so... incestuous is not the right
word. Oh, incestuous? Yeah. I can't say that,
but you can say incestuous? The Beam family is
just so ingrained in everything up there, which
is not a bad thing. It's just really interesting.
But anyway, well, then there we go. All right,
so what do we think? Five brothers. We know it's
sweet. It's 90 proof, so we know what we're up
against in terms of what we're comparing it to.
It doesn't have a lot of... wow factor the the
the finish is pretty short for me yeah yeah it
has a really good sweetness super easy to drink
it's almost like sweet tea almost this would
be perfect super easy to drink yeah this would
be perfect for somebody who never drinks something
straight right you know what i mean and you're
like no no no drink it straight oh dude i can't
so it does no no no try this it has a nice golden
amber look you know it's it has it does it's
very sweet uh the aromas match it um yeah It's
the most polite bourbon I've ever tried. Yeah.
I mean, if you're really going to dive into it,
it has a light char. It may have a little butterscotch.
Yeah. May. What makes it only available there?
Why is it so special? They didn't say. They didn't
say. No. They just said this. The tour lady said
this is Kentucky only, but also the ladies in
the gift shop. So this is Kentucky. I actually
had to make a sign on it as well. A little subtle
rye on there. It's not bad. It's not bad at all.
It's very, very refreshing. Yeah. And normally
we'll be like, oh my God, there's nothing to
this. This sucks. Brown sugar. But it doesn't
suck. It doesn't. It really doesn't. It just,
like you said, there's not the wow factor there,
but. And you have to actually put it in your
mouth and taste it. But like you said, it ends
really quick. It's a fantastic ride, but then
it's like those amusement park rides. It's like,
God bless, that fucking was over in two minutes.
I wanted that rush to keep going. It says a quick
drop off in intensity leaves a lingering sweet
note that's pleasant and appealing. Yeah, it's
got a little botanical floral tapering at the
very end. It kind of leaves you happy. Yeah,
maybe. Maybe. Yeah. A little Southern Belle.
I think this would be a great starter over the
80 proofer. Yeah. If you want to jump up to the
90. Something decent. This would be, I would
recommend this 100%. If they can find it, of
course. Well, yeah, if you can get it. Well,
how does it rank on the rarity? You know what?
I don't know. Let's scan it. I have not had it.
Oh, this is going to be an exciting moment. Super
exciting. This is real -time, real -time information.
And while we're doing that, let's come up with
a rating here. Mr. Producer, are we ready for
a rate? Imagine it's common. What are your guesses?
It should be. It's readily available at the distillery.
I would not say it's common if it's readily available.
Well, only there, yeah. So it's not readily available.
It's going to be, I'm going to say restricted.
Is that an option? Restricted? No. What are the
options? It's a unicorn. It's rare. It's... I'd
say rare. It's common, uncommon, rare, unicorn,
and impossible. We'll have to say uncommon. And
a bitch please. That's one of them. That's one
of them. This is one of our bitch pleases. All
right. So I say uncommon because literally it
is hard to find. Hard to get. Not hard to find.
You know exactly where it is. It's just hard
to get. It is uncommon. Score. Very good. Yeah.
Well, I would say it's uncommon. I would say
it's rare. I mean, because if it's not found
in stores and it's only found at the distillery.
Well, you know where it is. It's not rare. You
just drive to the distillery and buy it. Oh.
I guess that's an option. But not a lot of people
do it. Anyway, I like it. Let's rate it. Let's
go. In a 90 proof, 90 proofs. I will give this
a 6 .6. Wow. Is that low? No, I mean, hey, man.
It's not low. It's yours. Because you're looking
at some good ones. We had one last week we really
liked, and then we also have the Mictors, which
is what, 94, 95? Mictors is always the benchmark
for me in the 90s. Yeah, the Mictors 10. And
Mictors, it's the standard Mictors, I think,
is right at 90. This one's very soft. Like you
said, it's entry level. It's a great starter
of the night. to get the old spices moving, getting
the libido kind of warped into shape. I'm going
to hit it with a 69. Ooh. Wow. I think I'm about
as... Because his libido's been ignited. Oh,
that's right. I think it's... I'm going to give
this a 6 .7. All right. Well, there we go. Throw
out the high, throw out the low. And there you
have the facts of life. All right. Facts of life.
Oh, boy. I don't know how he broke into song.
I thought we were going to do a little 80s sitcoms.
Oh, I did not do any research on that. 80s sitcoms.
Do we have time? How much time do we have left?
Not right now. We got 10 minutes? Not right now.
All right. Well, let's talk about some other
things we missed in the last couple weeks. Well,
I mean, I'll tell you what. Dudes like us out
there, getting your car fucking totaled sucks.
Can we talk about that? Oh, yeah. I've had that
happen before. You just actually. We're all going
through shit right now. I went through it. You
kind of escaped it. Sean's dealing with it now
with his car. Yeah. Yeah. Well, it sucks, man,
especially when you're minding your own business.
Yeah. Completely, totally not your fault at all.
100%. And all of a sudden, boom. I was like,
God bless it. And, you know, look, at the end
of the day, when something like that happens
to anybody and you walk away from it. Count your
blessings. I'm thankful. The airbags deploy.
Negative. No, I was hit from the side, not the
front. So it did not, and I don't have any side
airbags. Actually, I don't even know. But it
hit the, it mostly hit the wheel well. You know,
it took out the whole fucking, it just knocked
the axle. She really did a great job smacking
that area. Did she just run a light? Right through
the God bless and thing. Some Asian children
that, you know, they're students, college students
it looked like. They were in a Lexus and they
didn't stop. They just went right on through
heading west. And we, being the truck to my left
and myself, I took a right heading west and the
other truck went south. And going straight, she
hit the shit out of that truck. Because that
was kind of like when I heard the noise, I was
like, oh, shit. And then the truck hit you. No,
the Lexus did. She literally went through the,
knocked the truck out of the way. And then hit
you. And then hit me. And I'm amazed that her
car was only damaged the way it was. That's a
testament to Lexus, I guess. And they walked
away fine? Everyone walked away fine. Everyone
walked away fine. She had to be going pretty
fast, too. I was kind of. And I don't know if
I was in shock or what the deal was. I didn't
even want to get out of the car. I just sat there.
The first thing I did was call the non -emergency
number. And I said, hey, there's a car wreck,
blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Actually,
I don't remember. You're like, I'm in it. Actually,
I think I did call 911. I was going to say, what
is the non -emergency? 411? No, eight is the
digging. Dig test. Hey, Lord, yeah, I just got
a wreck. Need some holes dug? No, they had everyone
come out there. It was pretty, you know, shout
out to the Frisco Police Department and the Fire
Department. They went out there, and they did
a quick job. And, look, again, you know, I'm
thankful. But I didn't get out of the car. Did
they do a sobriety test on anybody? No. I don't
know. I stuck to myself. I didn't go over to
the other cars. Wasn't it morning? It was about
10 .30 -ish. You probably don't do that unless
you're slurring. Well, true, but people drink.
Alcoholics drink all the time. They do. I'm not
saying they don't. They were students. They had
student books in their car. Who knows? I don't
even care, man. The thing is that I was fine.
I pulled up on the grass. I called my neighbor.
He was available. And he swung by, and he had
his truck, and I just took everything out of
the car that I felt. I had five to ten minutes
before he got there, and I just took everything
out, went through everything, every nook and
cranny. I'm remembering now. You did call me.
I did. Shelly and I were on the bike coming back
from Oklahoma, and I pulled over onto the shoulder,
and Shelly was like, what are you doing? And
I said, I got a 911 from Sean. So I turned off
the bike. called you and you're like i've gone
to a wreck and i was like oh shit anyway you
said everything's fine everything's fine i just
wondering if you're nearby so we can you know
i was like shit man i'm in oklahoma yeah well
you know it happens and you know there's there's
things that you know there's you got to reach
out to the people around you and you know thankfully
uh you know my neighbor was around and it worked
out But at the end of the day, fuck it. He drove
me all the way to the DFW airport to get a rental.
Oh, wow. Because the company I usually hurt,
they were stacked. They didn't have any vehicles.
So they always have them at the airport. Well,
you should definitely call him next time because
I wouldn't have done that. I would have said,
bitch, behind your motorcycle. Let's go, Paul.
You're carrying all your shit. Go faster. Go
faster. Just like you did with Brian, you know?
Can I hold on to you, Paul? Did you see the accident
that happened in front of the star? I heard that
guy had a heart attack. Oh, he hit seven cars.
He ripped the front end off of a Cybertruck.
What? He hit it so hard, the front end was ripped
off. It was a medical emergency is what I heard.
That's a Cybertruck up front. Oh, my God. Ripped
it in half or the back end or whatever that is.
So he just went down the line. Boom. And hit
seven cars. He had a heart attack. I don't even
know if he lived. Yeah, he ended up on his side.
He was driving, well, he was driving, from what
I understand, a big G -Wagon, which weighed a
tremendous amount of weight also. Oh, my gosh.
And, yeah, all were unoccupied cars. That helps.
and no one's injured other than non -life -threatening
injuries. Yeah, what a nightmare. When I heard
that, I was thinking, I was 100 % thinking drunk
driver, you know, all that kind of stuff. And
then I heard medical emergency. How often does
that happen, you think? I don't know. But every
time I think it, I'm thinking there's some little
ooh -la -la terrorist freaking just doing stupid
shit. Yeah, you think the absolute worst. It's
because it's so relevant. Yeah. Well, what gets
me, it was the Cybertruck. I wonder if, because
you would think, you know, this town is, you
know, safe. Maybe it is. Made out of steel and
all this. Maybe it falls apart. I wonder if Tesla
looked at that and goes, I want that so I can
look at it. Yeah, maybe. You know? You would
think it's like a tank. You're absolutely right.
That's crazy. But they're also lucky that, or
maybe it's built in by design that the, there's
a G -Wagon. The batteries didn't. Right. Explode.
I mean, look at that. Ripped it all the way off.
Yeah. The whole back end of it. Well, you know.
That's crazy. It's unfortunate. Yeah. We're looking
at the car. They're pulling the car back over
on its four wheels. But, you know, I got the
rental car. I had two inspections left. I missed
one. I hit the other two. But the whole process
was kind of lame, which brings up a moment where,
you know, dudes like us out there might want
to. Get rental coverage for your car. Yeah. I
mean, unless you have an extra car or a convenient
type of arrangement. Otherwise, yeah, get rental.
I get it because it's worth it in the long run
because I didn't have it. I thought I did have
it, honestly, and they must have took it off.
I think they took it off without me knowing about
it. I don't know, but I didn't have it. I rented
a car for a week, and I tell you what, the whole
process was a pain in the ass. Yeah. That adds
up. It does. And I'll tell you what really pisses
me off is that they don't pay for your tolls.
I don't want them to pay for my tolls, but that's
not what I was driving at. So when you rent a
car, you have an option. You pay for your tolls
up front. You pay $15 a day, and it covers all
your tolls. Or you don't get that service, and
they will bill you for every toll you hit. But
there's a service charge that is more than...
double the amount of the actual toll. That is
bullshit. And they didn't tell you that? Well,
no, I knew that. And I was like, hey, look, pay
for the $15 and deduct it from my payout. And
they would not do it. So now when I submit my
car, they're going to deduct all those tolls
and it's going to be double. It's going to cost
more than the actual fucking rental of the car.
Oh, wow. And so it's just like, what the fuck,
what's the sense? I'm going to end up owing you
money for taking this car, and you guys should
be paying me. It really, it makes me mad, and
I blame, you can't blame Hertz necessarily, but
it's the North, it's NTTA. Yeah. You know, they're,
it's criminal. It is, and you know what? We,
and Jeff, I know that's not the case for you.
You've always been kind of conscientious about
tolls and how they can add up, but I have not
been. I've been on cruise control. Right. But
now when you get on Google maps and you, you
know, you're picking a route to go, you know,
I'm not going to say avoid tolls. You can, but
I'm not doing it to avoid tolls. I'm just figuring
out what route to go. And now it pops up and
says, this route is going to be, you know, $10.
And I'm like, but I'm going to take there and
back. You're telling me it's going to be $20
to go, go to this place and come back. I'm like,
what the fuck? So I figured out, I was like,
Oh my God, Dawson does it almost every day. He
spends. $200 in tolls a week. Yeah. No, a month.
Sorry. A month. $50 a week. That's still a lot.
$50 a week. And I told him, I go, do you realize
that you're spending $200 a month in tolls? And
he's like, what? I go, yeah. I go, do you have
another route to Sherman? No, granted, he's going
all the way to Sherman. But it's not a toll.
It's only a toll between here and 75. He can
go up Virginia. Well, that's what I said. I said,
you can take Preston up to 56. And go to Sherman
that way and it's six minutes longer. You can
always just click on, and I've never done that
before because I've never cared. But when I got
this, in the circumstance I am now, I went to
a little option, avoid tolls. I know. And all
of a sudden it's like, it's 20 minutes longer.
And I'm like, fuck it, I don't care. Do you guys
remember when I drove us to an estate sale and
we were just talking and talking and talking
and talking and I was like, just following whatever
it told me to do. And then we were like. Where
are we? Why are we on the toll road? What are
you doing? And I was like, I don't know why it's
taking me through this. I had tolls turned off.
And we were just mindlessly going. I was just
mindlessly driving through subdivisions and shit.
And I was like, I don't know where we're going.
Yeah, I miss going to those estate sales. I do,
too, a little bit. Yeah, it was fun. It was fun.
It's not too late. We can do it any time. That's
actually the genesis of how the podcast started.
We would go to estate sales. You guys went. And
then you were like, you guys, you should come
along. And I went to estate sales with you. Is
that how it started? Yes. We weren't doing podcasts
before that? I don't think so. Really? No, we
weren't. I know that for a fact because that's
basically how I met you, Jeff, is when we were
doing these estate sales. Estate sales? Yeah.
And then we would go get a beer. And then we
would sit at the bar and talk like we do. And
then one of us was like, you know, we should
fucking record this shit. It's fun. You'd have
a camera hat with a camera on it. Right. A GoPro.
A GoPro. A GoPro. I never really thought about
that, but I guess that's how it started. That's
how it started. So it was basically Jeff and
I. We're the founders. Yes. We have it on the
foil. Remember, Chuck? That's right. You're the
one that coined me as the foil. You were a loose
cannon. You were very conservative. I was the
one that brought us together and wrapped us in
warmth. And comfort. They're not a burrito. Moisture.
I'm not a burrito. I'm the rice. You're saying
I'm just rice? You're the cilantro. You're just
white rice. Is that a merkin coming out of your
shorts? Great. Never mind. Where's the music?
Run the music. But we should do those estate
sales again. It's been probably a couple years
since we've done those. They're always fun. They're
always fun. In fact, when we get out the car,
we're like children trying to get to the front
door. At least I am. I can't wait to get out
the car. And if there's other cars that park,
like... Around the same time you are. And it's
kind of like, I'm going to beat them to the door
because I don't want them. Some little old lady.
You just knock them into the head. We were looking
for like a fan or something for your garage.
And I was like. Because it was like, what, 10,
15 bucks for like a $55 fan. I was like, dude,
get that. There's some good finds, man. It's
downstairs in the garage. I grabbed these walnuts
that were hand carved from Bangladesh. We stopped
going when the Walmart. Scandal happened. When
the walnut. Walnut. Keep going. Walnut. Well,
I picked up these pair of walnuts. They were
hand -carved from, I don't even know, Taiwan
or something. It was badass, but they had all
kinds of cool little sexual positions. I don't
know. Were they sexual? Was it the Kama Sutra
walnut? They were. I guess I didn't look that
close. It was, I put them, they were in Paul's
car, and one of them just fucking vanished. And
I swear it was like in the wheel well. Isn't
that when the bourbon fell out the back? No.
Maybe. But here's the thing. He asked me where
the walnuts were. I said, well, you must have
left them in the car. So I go and he says, they're
in the pouch in the back of the seat. And I go
in there and there's none. Not one. Not one.
And so I'm looking around in the car and I found
one. And it was on the floorboard. And the other
one has never been found. So I told Sean, if
one's on the floorboard, that means the other
one rolled out of the car, just like Axe and
Eden or Axe and Oak. Axe and Oak. Well, that
was from poor driving. And then what'd you do?
And then he goes and looks up what the pair are
worth. $3 ,500. But only the pair. It was $3
,500. You have to have both. It was funny. Yeah.
All right, it's April Fool's Day. Man, it was
a good time. I enjoyed it. It was a good time.
Good one. And a shout -out to the Heaven's Hill
Distillery for the Five Brothers, the 1935. Is
that the 1935 edition? I think that's where they
started the distillery. Is that what that's from?
So what is this edition called specifically?
It's just Five Brothers. Five Brothers. Five
Brothers version. Kentucky straight bourbon that's
aged five to nine years. I recommend it. Commemorating
the birth of that distillery. I recommend it
for those. whiskey drinkers out there that aren't
sure if they really want to get into it, this
is a great starter. It's got a wonderful taste.
And they're going to be in Kentucky, and they're
going to go to the Heaven Hill. Buy it while
you're there. 100%. And it's not one of those
that it's going to, like, people are going, oh,
my God, that hurts. It's not painful. It's not
painful. It's not painful at all. Not at all.
Thank you, Mr. Producer, for being on Top of
Stuff. It's April 1st. We have a fantastic podcast
coming up on the second half. Stay tuned. Check
us out on Instagram or Facebook, thedudeslikeus
-podcast. Dudes like us. I'm Sean. I'm the foil.
And I'm Joe. You're a dick.