Take two.
Yes. And our street
continues. It has. We're making up for lost time.
We missed a lot the first half of the year. Well I'm scared I may have to
disappear for a week and a half. Oh with your
North Carolina? I don't know yet. You know I
was trying to jimmy the system a little bit
to see if I could not go but I don't know if that's going to be the case. Well it's a
complete disaster out there. Total shit show.
And just a humanitarian crisis man. Huge.
We'll get into that. And the administration was doing
nothing until they got called on it. I know it.
Frustrating. There was an F3 tornado
in Oklahoma.
F3 winds. Is it the tornado or is it just the winds?
F3. I thought it was a tornado. Yeah okay. It's the tornadoes but it has
to do with wind speed. So there was actually. I'm going to fact check that.
It has to do with damage on the ground.
Has to do with wind speed. Yes but the way they categorize whether
it's a 2, 3 or 4 or 5 is based on damage.
What if an F3 is over the water?
There's no damage. We can fact check it. But we haven't even introduced
ourselves. Hold on.
The people listening to us have no idea who we are dude. Okay well welcome to the
first half of a scattered October 1st, 2024.
Oh really? I already know this.
Well then how. Oh so if it's over the ocean it's not an important one. Dudes like
us were a podcast that dabbles in
manliness and life experiences.
And we think we know basically everything. Yeah we're full of shit. Well I'm also
the enhanced fugitsa scale expert.
Which is what they use to measure tornadoes.
Dudes like us, I'm Sean. I'm Paul. And I'm Jeff. And it turns out we're both right.
It is based on wind speed and the result of the damage on
the ground. So you could have a tornado going
300 miles an hour but if there's no damage it's a what?
It's pathetic. It's an F1. So is that kind of like if
a tree falls in the middle of a forest it doesn't make a noise. Right. So you'd have this
three mile wide thing but if it's out in the middle of the field. It's a huge red oak that's 12 feet
diameter just because it's out in the middle of nowhere it gets no. No no no.
When they measure damage. What do they call it? No Riz? No Riz?
Is that a new word at least? Oh boy. I don't know what that word is. Is that a Gen X
term? Yeah. Or Gen Z term. Are you Gen Zing us right now? Hey dude I've got a little
urban dictionary that relates to the Gen now. Oh because you
have to relate to the people you work with? Well I mean I have to communicate with our kids. We
have to be able to connect to our kids at some point. You know. You just talk to them. And you're going to do it by
Gen Zing them? Yo no new Riz in it. God seriously?
Hey man let's dip. Let's uh. What dad?
Shut up. I know it sounds. You're old. It sounds awkward trying to talk like that.
Just like it is you know those actors on the show Airplane.
You know the speaking jive. Speaking jive. I was like really what is that?
Well it's just like the old folks you know they'll have oh look at that whipper snapper.
We don't say that anymore. No. Well they don't. I do too. I do too.
I say that. Who are you talking about? I say it all the time. But it's almost tongue in cheek.
I'm acting like way older than I am when I say it. Right. You young whippersnapper.
Newsflash. We're getting old. Yeah we are that.
We're getting older. I'm sure some of the other listeners out there will be like shut up. You have
no idea. Well you know what? I'm at a point in my life where
I'm starting to feel old. The weight of
half a century on me. And just the
shit that we do every day. Just trying to make it.
Whatever it is. Not me. I feel like I'm 17 again. 17 huh?
No. As you wake up. As you walk around. Look at those oxygen
tanks. My heel. My knees and ankles are cracking.
Taking an ice bath every morning. And I'm groaning every time I get up.
Well I tell you I've struggled with that
ever since my dad passed away. Because
it's put into perspective time frames. Oh yeah. For me specifically.
We are mortal. And the fact that I'm not working right now
and I'm so close to retirement that it's like
painful. Do you know
why would you wait to retire
to when you're 70? I don't understand that.
Because. I know. And then you die three months later. Yeah. Because you can't really
enjoy it. You may make a little more money per month via the social security.
Right. But you're not going to be able to enjoy it. I want to be able to
enjoy things. Because like I said I'm going through some stuff with my
dads and my moms after they passed away. And I'm finding pictures of when they moved into their house.
And they moved into their house out in Nevada when
my dad turned 60. Right. I'm five years
from that. Dude. That's crazy right? And I'm looking at these pictures and I'm like he's
only five years older than me and he just passed away. And the time went like
that. Yeah. And you know and I want to be
able to. Anyway it's hit me quite a bit. And as I'm going
through this stuff I am struggling with the time. The mortality.
The mortality. The time we have left which is really not that much. It's not that much.
I mean especially active time to be able to do shit. Yeah we can't
skydive and cliff dive when we're 70. We gotta do that now.
Dude I can't even run downstairs. If I like have to go to the bathroom and it's an
emergency I will literally shred my hamstrings trying to get to the
bathroom fast enough. Exactly. I mean I would need I'd run out of breath.
I would need to defibulate me right in the middle of the God bless and green room out there.
What else is on our bucket list? We have bull riding. That's on our bucket list. Right. Negative.
Skydiving. What else? I like to have. I like skydiving. I'd like to have gone
snow skiing sometime. Snow skiing? I'm not now. What do you mean? You've never
snowed? No I've never snow skied. I'd like to someday. But I'm not going to.
That's so hard on your knees. Well it's just on your body. Yeah.
At this age trying to do it. Okay so I have a little bit of experience
snow skiing. Matt remember when we went canoe riding and
you had a depend on your core? Oh yeah.
How did that go? Oh Jeff and I were
Is this your Utah? No this is Guadalupe.
Guadalupe man. We're like I know let's go down again. You know
we go down again and we get on. I think we trade in the raft or something.
I think we had. I forget what it was. Well we had kayaks individual kayaks and then
we went to the screw it. We're going to a big two man raft. Because what?
You guys couldn't do it on your own so you thought maybe if you combine your powers
together. No it wasn't that. It's the fact that your legs. It's like you're sitting
on the ground with your legs straight. And you're using your core
strength to maneuver the oar through the water.
And you're dependent on your hips to brace yourself. It's a full core
pull. Oh yeah. I remember waking up the next morning.
Actually we went and we were like let's get a 12 pack of beer.
Yay! We were staying at the Marriott Courtyard. It's a nice place. That's smart.
Frickin I take a beer out. I don't even think I opened it. I think I set
the beer on the counter and then it was out. Yep. Wow. This is before a CPAP
so I was up all night.
You're thinking that like the roof was caving in? Yeah. Yeah. No sleeping with the head on the
pillow. But yeah that was right. And plus you know I could tell
Jeff was just kept complaining because I was so hot. I was like dude well get on
the other bed. Oh. What the hell man? Yeah that's
different. Yeah we were new too so it was kind of weird.
Yeah. You know earlier I was going to say damn I didn't get invited but now I'm actually kind
of cool with it. It was a last minute thing. Jeff and I share a safety dome. It was
a weird. It was a. It's your iron dome
for the two of you. Right. It was a last minute thing and we ended up leaving like it.
We were at Sean's house I think and all. Brandon, Stephen,
Preston's was it. It was Clayton
went as well right. I don't remember. Yeah someone else went. And
it was like at five o'clock at night we're like alright let's do this. So we woke up like at
four thirty or five the next morning and went down there. Canoed
and kayaked all day. Wow. That's ambitious.
Yeah. That's probably what it was. We went there first thing in the morning and we got a
stellar deal on the hotel. Yeah. Stellar was like thirty nine dollars a night.
Yeah for two rooms. At the courtyard. Oh wow. It was a nice hotel. Well because it was
one single bed. Yeah. Yes it was a twin.
No but that's what it was.
Like I said it was last minute and it was a lot of fun. The boys had a blast.
I had a lot of fun. That's when I took a dip in the nice cool
river. Oh yeah. Hey just step on that
shelf right there. Yeah let me let me let me. No it's like fifty feet deep.
Provide some narrative here. So we get in the raft. The first time we
went down was on a raft. So I don't know if you guys ever been down to the Guadalupe River but
the river's cold. Year round it's like fifty sixty degrees. Fifty five
degrees. It's spring fed I think. So it's cold.
And so even I mean it hurts your bones kind of cold. I mean it feels
great once you're in. You didn't have like form fitting wetsuits.
Some latex. You know it goes right over your eyebrows.
You could have used it. It's cold enough. But we duct tape about a million pocket warmers to ourselves
before we. Oh perfect. All right so you're freezing your ass off.
So well no I mean actually it was it was fine. It was a great day considering it was
we got lucky because we actually left during spring break and we kind of like well it's spring break in Texas.
That's a freaking who knows what the hell's going to happen with the weather.
It could be freaking forty degrees. Or how busy it was going to be.
Yeah you didn't know. That's why you were out there at four a.m. Well I really like.
I think we were lucky because all the kids were still in high school. I think Brandon may have been
a senior. And I think
Centennial or Frisco's week was either
early or late from the majority of the Texas schools. So we we hit it just
right. So we get a the we were
trying to figure out how we're going to get down the river. Yeah we got choices and you know
come on Jeff and I are like we're going to have man. And so we got the
wrap the first time we did it because it was the first one because we were just like screw that.
And then the boys they each got a canoe
and then we went down and I think because we ended up jumping off the boat
a couple of times. But the first time first of all the Guadalupe River has a
bunch of huge boulders in it all the way down. I don't know if you guys have been in there but it's
safe. Well I mean it is what it is. I mean it's like you could step on huge rock
all the way. They're under the water. Oh I see. They're under the water. Oh yeah. Yeah so I mean
you could step down you know 12 inches and you're standing on a rock. Well
on the other side drops down 12 feet you know. Yes. And it's hard to
know. It is hard to know. So I
I'm standing on the 12 inch top of the boulder right.
And I'm maneuvering the boat and getting it steady. I was like Jeff get out
right here. It feels freaking great you know. And he was like no. Were you
setting him up. I was setting him up. Oh my god. And so you know imagine
you're in a raft so it's already precarious you know you're kind of
moving around and he steps his leg over kind of like you're getting in a bathtub and you're
testing the water first you know he's dangling that little big toe of his.
And trying to touch it and he feels it. It's like oh it's cold and he shivers.
That was strange to see. It's like a fucking wall of sand.
And the Arctic is like oh. So it was a ripple that went from bottom to top
and back down again. The hair on his back was like.
He went in full eskimo mode. Like a shock wave.
Right. Right. Nice. Oh man. So he sticks his foot in. I was like dude.
It's right there. He's like dude I reached down 12 inches. It wasn't there. It's like you're just
going to have to take a leap of faith. It's there. I promise.
Oh yeah. I learned my lesson. Paul. What an asshole. He steps over the edge.
I disappear. It was literally. I heard a
bloop. He's gone. I did. I went all the way
under. He's gone. He's gone. And the look on his face.
Oh you reemerge and you're like asshole.
Hulkman mad. Yeah. Yeah. Jeff are you okay? There is
no Jeff. I'll be soon. Then he had to fight
to get back into the damn raft. Oh yeah. That was the other thing.
It's like pulling a walrus on a boat. You know trying to get over the edge.
Like Jesus. Yeah you got to grab by the bottom of the short
and pull him in. Grabbed him by his Chewbacca hair. Pulling him up.
We managed to do it. Have you guys ever done the
white rattle rafting? Oh yeah. We've done it. Sean
or we all did. Yeah Jeff and I went. Oh went in Utah. Oh yeah. Jeff and I
went together. No we've never been to Utah. It was Tahoe. I thought Tahoe
is Utah. It's California. California Nevada. What the fuck?
Really? It straddles the California. All this time I thought Tahoe was in Utah. No my dad
lived in Nevada outside of Tahoe. What the fuck? I've never heard. Where have I been?
Right here. Colorado. So right. California.
On the border of California and Nevada. Pull up a map Mr. Producer to help
him visualize this. Oh shit. That's crazy. Yes you know where
Nevada has that point in the middle.
Right now we're looking at Lake Louisville. Yeah that's. Tahoe is
quite a bit larger. Yeah zoom out there. There we go. All right yep United States.
Definitely United States. California. It's right there at that Nevada bend.
So Nevada and California.
Zoom in there Mr. Producer. There is a road called State Line which is right where
the. At the bend. I see the bend where it starts to get curved like a
diagonal line down. Yes. All right keep going west. No you're in
Utah now. Yeah I know keep going west. You need to go way west.
There we go. Down down down. There it is. There it is.
Okay look at that. Look at that lake in the middle. That lake right there. Not that one. No the one
at the curve. There it is. That's it. That's Tahoe right there. No shit. All right.
That's Tahoe. Yes. Okay all right so you guys did
Whitewater rafting on what's that river then? We did it. No we didn't do it in
the lake. We did it in the American River which is in California which is in the
mountains. Oh. So it's fancy. Yeah it's the American River.
It's going to be off to the west some Austin. You drive for a while to get there?
Maybe an hour. Yeah maybe an hour. Okay that's not too bad.
I don't know exactly where it's at. I want to type in American River. Yeah. Okay. Well regardless
they had a they had a cool system too. I mean I've never.
That's the first and only time I've ever gone whitewater rafting. I would highly recommend it.
I don't think I'd sit in the front. I think I sat in the front for I don't know half
the trip maybe then Preston took it over. Yeah. It's a lot of responsibility
sitting in the front. It can be dangerous too man. I mean there are people that. It can be.
People that don't mean that they pass away on these things. I mean
I was on the cusp of not being able to manage the strength
to take to maneuver what we were supposed to do. Yeah I think you and
Brandon were up front. Yeah. And I was like
fuck me. And then Preston was like I could take it Mr. Football Player.
I could be just like Brandon. He gets up there and I might get in the back. That's
great because he's already broke Julie's nose. So we just want to. This was the last.
That was in Colorado. So yeah Julie just hung out the back and let us do everything.
She was enjoying the ride. So. And Mr. Producer was there and I'll tell you what Mr.
Producer did that I've never seen in my fucking life. What's that? He gets up
on the back of the boat. I'm sitting in the front right and he just kind of walks up. Hey what's going on?
Does a little dive and front flip right in the water. I was like holy shit.
On purpose. The wheels are off. I was looking at. While you guys were like
paddling and going down the river. No no we had pulled over for the side for a second. Okay.
We came up to a section he goes if you. This is a section where if you guys want to hop out
and ride these rapids down on your back. This is where you do it.
Okay it was a safe place to do that. It was a safe place. And you were wearing a vest right? Yes.
He probably had a helmet on. Yeah we're all wearing all that stuff. So we all pile out
except my wife. So we all pile out and ride these rapids down there maybe a hundred
yards maybe. If thank God the boys were there.
I mean because getting Jeff and I out of that freaking water was
a chore. Well look at Brandon. He was playing football.
He was 300 pounds. He's a big dude. So he didn't get stuck.
No actually. I think Steven Impresic got in first. And then they pulled
him up and then Brandon pulled us up. What do they call it when a ship gets
breached. Not beached or breached. Is it like when you're on the.
When it runs aground. Oh runs aground. That's what I'm thinking.
It was a blast. You know we went through. Now it wasn't like level four rapids.
But we went through some rapids. And Brandon was in the front. We went in this
one. And it dropped maybe five foot it felt
like. And Brandon's in the front. So Brandon's 300 right? Damn yeah.
So he fucking sticks it. And the whole boat was kind of like
it looked like. It just like crunched inward like a can crushing.
And it just sat there gyrating. No eventually the weight of everything
going on forced the front out. Oh boy. So it was like it was.
It was violent. You know. Yeah. Because it came down
in a crunch and bam we were launched out the front. And I remember Brandon and I hitting
face to face. And I was like hi. You know. Yeah you lose a little control
sometimes. And that happened when we were in Colorado. We went down the Colorado
I believe. And that's when Prest was with us up when we went to Colorado Springs.
This was the first time we had done it. And that's when my wife's nose got broken.
Actually she didn't break it. But she had a
bloody nose. Oh damn. She was picking it and Preston
accidentally went back and smacked it. You know how you get your fingernail a little too far.
And it shoved all the way to her brain. And it was me and Brandon in the front this time.
And our guide was not as good as the guy in the one in California.
Oh boy. And you know either you take a little
course before you go do the safety course that says if you go over this is what you do.
Go on your back. Get your feet up because your feet will get caught in the river.
And you'll get stuck. And then. Yes. And you're supposed to just ride it down. And that's
the problem. Until people can get you back in the boat. You just get on your back. Feet up.
And just skim all the way down. Right. So anyway.
We're going down this thing. And everyone was like there's one spot that is
if we're going to tip it's where it's going to happen. Okay. And you see
it coming. And it's. And there's no stopping it. And they're like you know we try to go around
the hole. Yeah. And everybody's like paddling as quickly. And the guy is screaming.
He's like paddle paddle paddle left or whatever it was. And he's back there
doing this. We completely hit that hole 100 percent.
And it was like Sean said but this was worse. It went like this.
And then you all got dumped. The guide basically ended up.
The guy was as big as Brandon was. He was a big dude. Yeah. Well this was in Colorado. This guy was a
small guy. Yeah. The one in California was a big dude. Oh.
And the this is when that's when you
because everybody was bored like five feet. Her face
went to the back of Preston's helmet. Oh no. And this is where
they take all the pictures. Oh yeah. So so all of a sudden you see you see
that she's going like this. You could see her like this. And then a few pictures
later you start seeing blood everywhere. And but I think the boat
bent when this happened. And somehow
I almost went out. Brandon almost went out. Brandon grabbed
me. Nobody got dumped. I grabbed him. We were both going out.
We both yanked each other. Oh very nice. And
it was it was that was the worst. It was bad in California.
But it can be heart pounding. It was bad. And I'm thinking if we went out in this spot right here
it would have been a mess because it just kind of churns. Right. You know over
and over on itself. And anyway it was a lot of fun.
I think there's a special name for that. It does happen. I mean
we pulled over because they saw Julie was bleeding everywhere
so they pulled over and they had some tampons and they stuck tampon up her nose. Are you serious?
Yeah 100 percent. God. Man how big were her nostrils?
The tampons are. They're tiny little. They're extra small. They're not girthy.
For like for like campsters or something. Is that what they put in cats?
They're hamster tampons. They put in the little domestic
actually if you have a really bad nose but those are actually really good because they're built to absorb blood.
All right. They are. They're built to absorb blood. You're right.
So anyway then we finished. Oh I guess that's why they put them in bullet hole wounds.
You can. Do they? Are you being serious? Yeah I recall seeing that now.
I recall and I was like what the hell. Was that on Save It Private Ryan? I don't recall what it was but
he basically took the whole thing you know it's like a little capsule tube section
and it kind of injects the thing in there and he kind of.
Yeah I can see that working. I mean the idea is to absorb the blood stop the bleeding right?
Yeah and it worked. So anyway so that was fun. Yeah Tahu's a blast.
But yeah the Whitewater Raptor we've done it a couple times and it's a lot of fun.
It's a lot of fun. Plus being out there you know the
sounds out there I mean I like it. You know being out in nature.
Yeah. I mean something about the rapids and how the water's crashing around you.
We got some really good pictures too. We defined. The bears out in the forest ready to eat you.
Where are all those pictures?
That's a good question. I know I have them. They're really good. They're some really good ones.
Yeah. You're right when you're engaging nature like that it's
you know it makes the whole experience that much more. It's one thing to just kind of
stand around and look at stuff but you're like you know you're paddling
down this river or you're running from bears. What I don't get is
which I've done that which what I don't get is. Run from bears?
Yeah. When we were at Tahoe. Oh that's right.
I had. You're not supposed to feed the bears. No we didn't. They're on the other side of a creek.
I didn't run from them. They're on the other side of the creek. They easily could have
jumped over and came. Yeah but they don't want you.
They want their eating. They wanted your kids. Yeah well yeah. Steven was maybe
probably two. My wife
was old. Steven. And I was ready to grab Brandon and scatter
out of there. Anyway what I don't understand is when you see these people who
go into these nature parks that you drive through and you see
them get out. Oh yeah. And try to interact with the
buffalo or whatever. The giraffe. Whatever.
You're supposed to stay in the car. When they end up getting gored or stomped on or
something like that. There was one video I watched where a giraffe reached into like the sun roof
or no it was like a it was like a jeep I guess and it reached in and
grabbed a hold of some toddler's shirt and
started to lift it out of the car and the mom grabbed the kid
and pulled it out of its teeth. It's crazy. I mean
you never know. I mean I'm sure it wasn't trying to kill it or eat it. There's all kinds of stores like
that. You know animals, cheetahs ripping off mirrors and tearing off the
trim around the windows trying to get in and people being stupid.
I don't know what it is. I don't know. They get out of the car and then we get a little closer and then
all of a sudden you hear the theme song.
It swoops down on some geriatric demon.
Rips them apart. Dude it always freaked me out. The damn emus and the ostriches.
They can kill you. They're so beady eyed and the ostrich is
so fucking big. The head. I'm just waiting for it to just like just
freaking mar my face. They have those claws and they get there and they just gut your ass.
Well I mean this is I'm in the car but I mean it's sticking its head in the car and
it's trying to get my food out of my hand or whatever. I'm just thinking at a moment's
notice it could just totally blind me.
I'm just like damn. They're all making fun of me. The family is making fun of me because I'm backing away from
the emu which looks like creepy as shit man. Emus are fucking creepy.
Totally. So anyway.
Think of your nightmares Paul. The emu. Kind of. I mean you're talking about it's fossil rim right?
The one that's. Yeah yeah. Oh god we've done that like probably
half a dozen times. Look at that emu right here. Oh the creepy man.
Those eyes. Freaking looks like a lady bug eyeballs. You cannot trust
something that looks like that. There's no way. Emu fun facts
for kids. Stay away. They will poke you. So there I mean
there are people that raise emus for the oil. You can eat them as well.
Oh I'm not on board. Is it like beaver
buckland oil? You eat chicken don't you? And turkey what's different? It's a bird.
I've had ostrich. Are we going to have an emu night?
I would imagine. I mean I'm
not against it. I'm kind of curious what eats you know kind of kind of. Well I mean
what the hell. Why would I be picky about that? Where would we buy ground emu?
Kind of like turkey. Maybe. Probably. I don't know.
I bet you it's turkey like. I've had ostrich burgers. Imagine those turkey legs. It's very lean.
Mr. Producer you can move on from that picture. Thank you.
Alright so look up food made with emu.
Emu meat. Emu meat.
I'm sure there's ground emu and I'm sure there's emu steaks.
Oh wow emu meat and well you know they've got. Emu sausage.
So it kind of looks like a small. Like steak?
Pork loin. Yeah. The picture I see. They're not that small. That's exactly what I'm showing
right there. Looks like steak. Yeah it kind of does.
It looks good in the picture but when you think about it maybe. I'm in.
I'd try it. I would try it. Why not? That's canine craving
farm life. That's for dogs. But I don't think people raise.
That nice grilled steak is not for a dog. But see where it says canine craving
farm free. Oh I don't know. But I don't think
people raise emus for the meat primarily. I think they
raise it for the. To keep burgers out. What kind of oil?
Like to fry popcorn in and shit?
I don't know. It's something. It's emu oil or something.
Help me out here. Emu oil? Is it like a
hair moisturizer? Put in why do
people raise emus. That would be like the. See?
It's derived from body fat harvested for certain subspecies of the emu.
The dramesias convictum whole lot of the day.
The flightless bird indigenous to Australia.
It's a dietary supplement. Interesting. So it moisturizes your face, body, and
skin. Lose weight and lower cholesterol. Prevents
skin aging. It decreases inflammation.
Improves wounds, scars, and sun damage. There you go. Reduces.
This is given for Jeff. Reduces nipple sensitivity. I know how you complain whenever you
wear those certain shirts. I do have that. You gotta put pasties on because it rubs it so
hard. Yeah, I know. I repels bugs.
What is it? That's good for you. Keeps the flight fleas away.
What's it smell like? And it helps hair and nails. Man, I don't know.
Sounds like there's a lot of wonderful things. Yeah, I guess that's why they would farm.
It's a it's a off white creamy texture to a thin yellow liquid.
Sounds like us. Yeah, something gross. I don't know. That could be
a bedroom oil comes out of my dick. Well, wow.
What are you talking about? That's what Sean was going to say. No. Probes. Hold on.
Looks like olive oil. Did you seriously? I just got him a yellow flag. I'll back you on that.
Yeah. Yeah. I don't think I have. I mean, if you want to talk. Challenge on this.
No, there's no challenge on this. Do I? Don't I have any cards?
What happened to my little set? I got mine. There's a set right here, you blind son of a bitch.
What the hell's wrong with you? Alright, I'll get ready for that. It's too late. It's lost its
We haven't thrown cards in a while. Alright, well. Well, we have
soccer cards, yellow and red cards whenever we got to hold ourselves accountable, which
they constantly have. And Paul brought a contestant flag.
A little referee flag. Yeah, my red flag. How do we? I'm not sure how we got on
emus. So we were talking about it was the
trips to the zoo, California backing up whitewater rafting
and the trips to a fall
Jeff falling into the water, which was awesome, which is what I wanted to focus on,
was him falling into that water. Well, he didn't fall. He jumped on your
instruction. Yes. Yeah, which was, you know, you know that game you play at the office
where they say they trust, right, and you're supposed to just fall
back and somebody will be there. You feel miserably at that. No, no, no.
Look, I was doing him a favor. You know why? Because
Jeff appeared to me like
he was preoccupied.
A lot of stress was going on. Yeah. And
I was like, man, he's not going to talk about it. Oh, he needed something to take
him up. I gotta loosen him up. What is going to change the direction of this? Because he was
like, we're in this fucking raft and I'm with Sean.
Look at him. What the fuck? I mean, and so I
made him happy for him. Like a hypothermia borderline drowning event
would get him out of that. No, no, no. He wasn't even near that. There's a little
rope around the boat. He held tightly. He's like a baby with the rattle.
We're in the rapids or anything.
He just disappeared. But dude, you hear the stories of people like
there'll be on a pontoon boat in Lake Lewisville and they jump in the water and don't
ever come back. Now, could I have jumped off of my... What the hell? Well, I could have seen if you jumped off,
could my foot have gotten jammed and stuck? Like a bear trap at the bottom of the
river? Well, just rocks. And you get in there and you're like, fuck.
I don't know how it happens. I don't know how it happens.
How people jump in the water and just don't come out. Gators. I don't get it.
No, really. It's crazy. I mean, and these are people that know how to swim. So what the fuck
is happening? That's what happened. When you say don't come out, meaning they disappear.
That's right. They literally never surface. They drown. Yeah, that is odd.
It's the strangest thing ever. What's down there? Is there a
current or something? No. There's a lot of trees. Well, all these are
man-made. So there's a bunch of trees. True. Could they have gone down there
and got stuck in the trees? Very unfortunately. I guess.
I guess. I don't know. It's bizarre. It's bizarre.
And there's also alligators in Lake Louisville. There are not. Yes, there is.
I don't like to hear the sound of that. Yeah, it's definitely...
You know what? There was. I think they hunted them down and killed
them like the crocodiles they are. Nice. Alligators. Alligators.
Alligators are freshwater crocodiles, all saltwater.
Yes. I forgot. So not only do I know the EF scale of
tornadoes, I also am a crocodile alligatorologist.
God bless an authority. Yes. Sort of like Austin on
Oktoberfest night. Oh, is he an authority on something?
He was the authority on something. Oh, tell us about this authority that he was.
So, downtown McKinney 2024 is the
annual Oktoberfest. That's right. It was Saturday. It was fun.
Dudes like us usually go out there and we represent.
We walk around, kind of chat with people and say hello. And they got the polka band going?
They did. So we were at a filtered coffee shop
in the front and there was a large stage out there where they had the polka band playing.
This year I was actually quite pleased with the selection. That polka band, I'm not a polka band aficionado,
but they were actually really good. They were really good. Compared to last years,
they had some acapella jazz thing going on. I'm like, what?
They did get the memo that it's Oktoberfest and they've got this thing going on.
I guess somebody bailed at the last minute or something. There was a whole team.
These guys were really good. Very excited about that. And they played all day, which means that
I arrived, actually it was like 12 to 5. It was a long set.
So they'd play for 45 minutes, take 15 minutes off, and they did that all
day long. And they were great. Yeah, they were. They played a lot of
inter-mashups. There were two bands. There were two different bands.
You're talking about the very last band? The last band was Crowd Brave or
something like that. Yeah, the second band. They were great. I love the fact that they were,
I mean the whole event is everybody's walking around with those big mugs of beer and having a great time.
Yeah, and these guys every once in a while... Ice-colored beer and
your sausage. Right. But they would call out,
I guess there's like this call of this time to drink. So I don't know, they would go
Tiki-taki-tiki-taki. Oi, oi, oi, oi. Right?
And then what was the other one? Proust! That's like telling us cheers.
Then he would say, Proust! Proust! I think he got some on the
heat lamp. What the hell is it called? Novel lamp. That's pretty cool though.
That was fun. Everybody was toasting and so many smiley,
happy people. We were at Downtown McKinney in front of the filtered coffee shop
218 East Louisiana Street. And we kind of commandeered the...
In front of these stops along Louisiana Avenue, they have a little
fenced off, real route-on-gate fenced off area. Yeah.
Which allows like maybe 12 by 12 space in there. Like a little patio area. And inside that little
square, we had beer that we were selling and we had our dudes like
us woodcrafting stuff up there. Yeah. And it did pretty well.
Yeah, we got some sales. I was pleased.
And that's really a great thing considered.
We didn't do a whole lot to prep and we didn't have a tremendous amount of
set up. I think it's kind of... whatever. So we were excited. We got our
stuff out there. We sold a couple products and we had a blast. Yeah, it was a lot of fun.
You guys sold a lot of beer too, man. We had a record
day in sales at that location. I think it was because of
the get your ice cold beer here. Well, we did very well
out in the front regarding the sales as a team.
I mean, it's really... they were hopping inside. They had a lot of stuff going on. We did sell more
than we normally sell. And we got rid of all the
beer because we were trying to deplete all of our inventory.
Or did you go on a sale towards the end? Yeah, we started dropping the price towards the end.
Like ridiculous. And people were like, oh, two dollar beers. Oh, let's go
for that. And so they got like vanilla porters.
I'll take 10. Let's take these beers and let's get to the chopper.
Get to the chopper. That's what I said. I kept yelling that out.
Get to the chopper and have some beer.
So retarded. So dumb. It's not even Germany. It's Austrian. But it was a lot of fun.
And I got to wear my Liederhosen.
Oh, that you did. You said that you were pleased with them.
They're a little frumpy. But you got happy in that little
outfit. You were engaged with the crowd.
I got to tell you, there's a couple of things going on here. Number one, I was drinking.
Yeah. I don't know how many drinks I had.
You know, it was kind of a soft little warm up.
I started the day off. I didn't drink for a while. And then my brother was like, oh, we're going to
sell these vanilla porter beers now for two bucks. And I was like, really?
That's when I got there. That is exactly when I got there because you guys are talking about, yeah, they're selling them
for two dollars. He was kind of tasty. And I said, Austin, could you bring me
one Stein, please? Einstein, Einstein, one cold
beer. Einstein. It did sound like that. Yeah. Yes.
So Einstein means one beer. Well, no, Einstein
Stein is the mug. Okay.
Einstein, I think Stein, bitter, one Stein, please.
Yeah, really? That's not part of the I think your
German is a little rusty. Well, anyway, so he comes back
and he's like, Austin got snuckered. I think he had a total
almost four Steins, three and a half signs. I think they finished the last one,
but it was ridiculous. So you don't remember much of that. That's right. Anyways,
they had no alcohols. Austin, Austin ended up drinking a little bit more
than he should. I think he went down to the arcade. He has some sort of drink called Sub Zero. I don't know what that
is, but drinking a Sub Zero is like high energy.
Those are so bad. But you know, like sugar in there,
but you drink that and he was like, dude, I was playing Pac-Man and I woke up in bed the next time. I mean,
next thing I think I remember is right. But regardless, you know, I
saw him when he came back from the arcade because we're still still selling beer out the front
and I was still coherent. So I was like, Hey, Austin, and he's kind of walking by
going home now. So they
she drove. Everybody became German that day. Huh? Exactly. What time do you guys
end up leaving?
Maybe. And then we stopped at Whataburger. I don't know if you remember that.
I do now. Did I get some? No, I did. I eat a fry. You ate a double
a number two and I encourage you. I encourage you to get a number. I got
a number one and he was like a number two and I was like,
and I was like, you don't need a number two. Get a number one. He was like, fuck
you. I think I did. You did. You got you like, don't fight.
Me.
Basically how the whole thing went down and the whole time she was like, Oh, my
God. And I'm like, Oh, my God, this is the best burger ever.
Now that I remember it, I don't eat Whataburger with five. If I'm going to have to go
eat fast food, it's going to be water. It's the best. It is good.
There is something about it. It's tartness. It's just fantastic. So we met.
I had a good time in that last band and I apologize. I wish I would remember the name of that.
I wish I would remember both the names out there. I'd give shout outs, man. But the October Fest
in downtown McKinney, 2024, a stand up show all day
long. I had a blast. Yeah, it was really cool. Jeff came out. You came out. Chuck came out.
The Chuckster. Chuck came out and hung out with us for a while. It was a lot of fun.
Yeah, it was cool. It was good times. I mean, that's what the fall's all about, right?
Doing these different, you know, we're starting to cool off a little bit, right? We're starting to do
more events like that. You know what? I think I'm going to
video Sean dancing to some of those songs. Oh, there's no way we can do that.
So what does Jeff do? He freaking does. I don't know if he live streamed or just posted it, but regardless,
he should have live streamed it. It was on the Internet, me doing
whatever the fuck that was. You were polka dancing. Dude, I look like a fat retard
looking for a TV. It was like, what the, I'll tell you what
the one thing I did is, which was kind of cool, was my stamina. Did you see me jumping out there?
My, my. You came back very proud. You're like, my trampoline's working. Yeah.
Hey, man, look, my trampoline is working. My jumping is working all day long.
Fuck, I feel it. I was out there. 10 foot vertical leap. Yeah, you were
too. It was awkward. It was awkward.
Everybody's kind of jumping normally and you were like,
Look at that fat guy go. It's like, wow, he's good.
That trampoline is something else. Hey, man, I endorse
the trampoline. I recommend everyone should get a, are you still doing it every day?
I do it every single day. Good for you. Every single day. The name of that band is called
the brave combo. Brave combo. Is that the latter of the two?
That's the last one. Last one. I Googled top polka bands
and that was the first one that came up. Nice. So there were people there that
shared that, uh, what's the name of that band again? Sorry. Brave combo.
They shared that brave combo. They follow them around the world.
Oh, wow. I don't, I mean, that's crazy. That's the second band. Cause the first band
somebody was saying was their fourth, they were the rated fourth in the
something. I don't know if it was the city or the state or both bands were super
They were really good. You know, they had their unique spin. The last one had
a unique, they were just a little bit more electric. You know, they had a,
they were just a little bit more commercialized. They had the bass player, the guitar player. Yeah. The first
one was more traditional. Yeah. But the last one,
yeah. The tuba that was huge. That really makes a great noise.
Okay. So
we were a little silly that night. I was at least, I ended up leaving
my bourbon flask there. You left it there? Yeah. Well, Ryan
picked it up. My brother picked it up. So he put it in the office for me. I'll, uh,
well, to be fair, you left kind of in a rush because
I was leaving and you were like, shit, I don't have a ride home because you were expecting
Tara to be there or maybe, or something happened and you're like, shit, I need to go with,
you know, Paul and Shelley. And so you kind of, you were scrambling to leave. That's probably why
you didn't have a second to collect your gatherings or gather your collect,
what am I trying to say? Your stuff. Yep. Yep. Yep. Yep. Yeah. So anyway,
but speaking of fall, we also have Halloween coming up right around the corner.
And Tara has announced that the theme of the party is
video games. Yeah. So I already know, I already know
what Shelley and I are going to do and I'm not, I'm just going to be a total surprise, but I'm excited.
I'm actually for the first time going to put some effort into a costume and like
have it be a good time. I've never, I've never really done that.
What? Why are you laughing?
Ding, ding, ding. It's funny. What's wrong? What's happening? I was hearing Jeff's phone.
Oh, what's happening? Are you? My sister were
closing on the house. Oh, that's right. We're closing on the house. The
buyer signed it today and they're closing tomorrow.
Exciting. Which I guess is the funding, right? Yeah, finally, finally, finally.
So there's questions are like, well, where's the garage door opener? So I was like, they're in
the house somewhere. Look in the kitchen drawers, look in the laundry room,
look in the garage. Wow. I don't know where they're at. Of all the things to worry about. Yeah.
I guess, you know, it's the thing. So that's
she's. So there's some loose ends that you're needing to scramble to answer. Right.
And she stresses about that stuff. They're in the glove box of the car that you brought back.
No, I left them all there. I left them all there.
I'm not sure. I would have sent them. I would have emailed or mailed them to them.
But no, they stayed there. But yeah, we're closing or not.
We have the dotery went to my sister's house in Ohio.
This was on Saturday. You actually listen to a good portion
of it because she conference me in. Oh, God. And
it's a stressful thing. Yeah, I would just say that it is. It is stressful.
And so she signed it Saturday. They signed it
today. And I guess the official closing is tomorrow,
which means we should be funded or we should have the money by the end of the week.
Fantastic. So we're throwing a big time party, aren't we? I hope.
I won't. Yeah, the money will be up there. I won't
have access to it quite yet, but so much for a party.
Well, you know what? It's I'm glad that the next step is gone.
Move yourself towards closure. When we walked in here, you know, you're like you mentioned, I think
at the beginning of the party, going through your dad's stuff. You know, you got a bunch of his memorabilia
that you're pulling out. I'm sure it's quite emotionally
jarring just to walk into that and go through that like, wow,
wow. And you can probably get a flood of memories. What is I stuck
it. They're all in boxes. I stuck at the study and I just left them there for, I don't know,
what did I get back in June? Yeah. So I've just finally cracked them open and
started going through it because I need to sort it, really decide, do I need to keep this? Do I need
to toss it? And then I'm going to stick it in the attic. You know, it's not something
that, you know, if it's pictures
and stuff, then I'll pick those and I'll hang them on the wall and stuff. Yeah, sure. I have a problem
throwing away, like I found my dad's all my dad's work accolades, all
the rewards and everything. I'm like, do you just toss that?
Like attendance record. Right. His clocks every time he clocked in.
Time cards. No, all the awards he got.
All the write ups in the newspaper and all that stuff. You're like,
you know, do you toss that and just basically throw his entire
I know. It's tough. It would be kind of cool if
I mean, these are great questions because it's almost like it should be a
service out there that can go through things. I'm going to say rummage
because that's not process is probably a better word. And process that
stuff, digitize those types of things where you have a memory of it. You know,
maybe you don't need it as tangible. I don't know. What are you passing down to the kids? Well, that's what
I told Lee Steven because he's here with me. I was like, well, I'm going to box this stuff, stick it in the attic
and you're going to get it. You and your brother, the guys dry
rod up there. Well, I don't know where else to stick it, you know, and
yeah, basically you're now it's not a lot.
Basically, it's I'm just kicking the responsibility down the line.
I told him I said you're kicking the can down the right. I don't want to throw it away.
Maybe they're far enough away from it. I mean, they love their grandfather.
They knew him very well. I could feel that. Maybe. But and the top part
is discerning what's important and what isn't right. We were sitting here. My
father kept all you know how when you send out a letter for Christmas, your
end of the year letter, right? Well, he received all these end of the year letters from
all for everybody on his Christmas list and it was a big Christmas list. So
I'm going through there and I'm like I cared about the stuff he wrote, but I didn't care about
the stuff from the people I didn't know. Right. Right. Right. So here I am creating a pile of
trash and they're like, whoa, my siblings like, whoa, wait a second.
Who is this from? And they're reading every paper and all this kind of you can't.
I was like, dude, we can't go crazy with this. Mom or dad
didn't even write this. Right. This is exactly that has nothing to do with them. It has their name on it. That's it.
So I got to tell you something that was funny. So we were in the study, which was the hardest room to
go through. Right. And oh, there was the filing cabinets full of folders
and stuff. I pull out a folder. Okay. And I'm going through it and it's stacks
and stacks of receipts. Right. And I'm like, I'm thinking
when you keep receipts, I'm thinking it's like for a big ticket item.
Right. It's the receipt for the for the refrigerator.
Right. Or something that you think that you're you need the receipt because if something goes wrong, you're going to
take it back or whatever. Right. So I'm going through these receipts. One of them was
my mom bought a 7-Up and a meatloaf at the country club.
And I, so I did like 1980. That was
the theme. That was the theme for the rest of the weekend. I would, I would
dollar forty cents. I would yell out to the group, guys, guys, meatloaf
in a 7-Up receipt here. Yeah. I mean, so it was just crazy. I mean, but I'm
sure the ball. Yeah. I was throwing away all that again. I was throwing away all that shit. But
anyway, it was what my parents kept. I wonder if that's a generational thing because
my dad had some extremely old
paperwork, right, like extremely old paperwork where I'm just like, wow,
why do you still have this? Right. You know, I was I go, I went scorched
scorched earth on a lot of that stuff. But anyway, we have a don't we have a
bourbon? Oh, I'm sorry. I thought you were about to. Well, I was going to bounce
back for a second. Let's do that. We've got a couple minutes.
We were talking about your outfit for the Halloween that you were going to
dive in. So, I mean, no, no, no
hints, no hints, no hints. Video games. So it's video game. That's the theme.
Well, it's actually 80s video games. I'm good with that, too.
My idea still applies.
It's going to be great. I can't wait to design it and build. I was actually
asking a chat GPT, how would I build this? It is so
resourceful, man. He was telling me all the hardware I needed and
I kind of envisioned it anyway, but I was like, oh, I didn't think about that. Interesting.
I need hardware for my costume. That's the only hint I'll give you. Millipede.
Damn it. Unbelievable. Now I got to pick a new one.
A hole. Nope, that's not it.
Anyway, have you thought about what you're going to be and what you're going to be?
I'm going to wear T-shirts now. I'm going to wear a loincloth
and be from Jungle Hunt. Oh, great.
Your junks can be hanging out. You can be like all gyrating on the dance floor.
I can be like, oh, this is going to be a big vine. I'm going to swing from. Oh, perfect.
Do you remember?
I think it was superheroes or something. I don't remember what it was. Do you remember when
when Mark was a booger?
What? Mark? Oh, he was a booger.
He was a big, he had a big like he was just a round
green outfit and he had a long black. It was a hair.
Do you remember that? Oh, it was greatness. It was greatness. He always had really
really well thought out and planned costumes. I've never been good at that.
Me neither. I've never been good at that. He was a booger. I don't know what the team was.
I know. I have time. So, hey, I'm making the commitment
so I'm expecting you both to make the commitment. I commit every year. I know you do.
You do. I'm not going to give you shit. You guys are good at it. I struggle with it. I do too.
It's because you wait until the day of and there's nothing out there.
You have time now. Yes, I'm starting the planning of it this weekend. So
that tells you how you need to get on it. Start cutting the pieces out of wood. Yes.
You have time to paint it, make the shoulder harness. You can make a complete Mandalorian
outfit before the 1980s video game. But that's not a 1980s video game.
Oh, yeah. Movie maybe. Maybe Star Wars. That's not a
video game either. That video game didn't come out until what? The 90s?
Battlefront? Yeah. When did Battlefront came out? That was good by the way.
E.T. was technically an Atari 2600, wasn't it? Well, E.T. is not Star
Wars. What's wrong with you? Who are you right now?
So we are... We had Battlefront. And it was
so frustrating because my boys... Oh, I loved it. You would spawn somewhere. I would
die and spawn. And then Dillon was Darth Vader. I guess
he was Darth Vader. And he made it his
mission to kill me as fast as possible. And I was like, can you just...
Dillon, this is not fun for me. Can you just go kill... Nope. I would spawn.
Spawn. I was like, how do you know where I am? I don't understand. He goes, there's only
certain places you can spawn, Dad. I'm like, fuck, man.
He was such a dick. I was like, what the hell?
Mr. Producer, forgive me if I'm wrong, but isn't Darth Vader one of those
characters that's kind of like an alt? So you only can have
Darth Vader for a specific amount of time. Oh, yeah. You have to get like a certain number of kills.
And I want to also add to that that anyone can get Darth Vader.
Oh, I couldn't get anything. I couldn't stay alive for 10 seconds.
You have to accumulate certain accolades to be able to get that alt to activate.
He kept killing his dad. That's all the accolades. Death, death, death, death, death...
And I was like, yas. I was like, I've been killed
180 times. What do I get for that? No soup for you!
Anyway, let's talk about the bourbon. Yeah, that's bourbon.
What do we think about this guys?
This is an older one that we had.
There was a lot still in the bottle so I was kind of hesitant.
I think we liked this the first time.
I'll kind of tell you.
So it tastes cheap.
It tastes inexpensive.
Okay? Let's start there. Number one.
Number two. Oh boy.
It does have a sweet taste to it.
It's not a bad tasting...
What is this called?
It's called...
Black Saddle.
From the Franklin Distillers. It's called Black Saddle
Bourbon Whiskey.
Was it really aged 12 years?
It says age 12 years.
I guess that's every bit of what's going on here.
I don't want to throw stones at this too much right now.
I want to kind of walk through this.
Now, when I'm tasting, it's
oily.
It's oily.
And it's got legs.
The viscosity is there for sure.
The hue...
It's got an ice hue.
It does have an ice hue.
That's because of the age.
But it's not as dark as I would think for 12 years.
12 years? That's a long time.
It should be...
I hate to say this.
It should be better than it is for 12 years.
Soft minty.
I taste the mint.
It's very slight mint to it.
And it tastes
watered down to me.
Well, to get to 90 proof, you've got to water it down.
And that's the problem I have a hard time with.
I learned that that's not
always the case.
It's not always the case.
I always thought that if it's anything less than
115, then that means they put water
in it. Not true.
Sometimes they put it in the barrel at
112.
We learned that last week.
Mikters proofs out at 107 or something like that.
Right.
It comes out of the barrel like that.
So they add...
So they take a bottle of Mikters,
that's 115 hypothetical, 117,
and they want to dumb it down, but they do it to the barrel?
No.
They don't dumb it down at all. So they put it in the barrel
at 112 proof, and then
just by natural evaporation
and what have you.
It goes down to 107.
Or lower.
It doesn't always mean that if it's in
the low
100s or even the high 90s,
that they added water to it.
It does not mean that.
Which gives it a whole new respect.
Because we always had an issue with any bottle
that has water added to it.
Right?
So what are we going to write this?
Well first of all, Jeff, you've got some description.
You said mint... I can't throw a bunch of stuff on there.
It is sweet.
It tastes sweet, I taste the mint.
And there's some traditional bourbon
shit going on in there.
Some vanillas, that standard shit.
I do not want to shit on Black Saddle.
It's 90 proof, it's got a spicy pepper.
I can taste that now.
I just took another poll right off the front.
It's peppery in the start.
And as it closes, I feel the mint.
I did not enjoy it.
I did enjoy it.
I think I'm disappointed because
of the age statement.
If I didn't see that,
I think I would enjoy this.
If that doesn't make sense.
You think it should be better at 12 years.
I think it should be. I think it should have a little more oomph to it.
You know, that could be just a product
of them either dumbing it down
or just
what went in wasn't fantastical.
It could be the
type of barrels that they were in.
Who knows?
What is the barrel?
It would be kind of nice to know.
Is it white oak? What type of oak is it?
I mean, is it a whiskey?
Was it a bourbon? It's a bourbon.
So it's got to be an oak.
Was it a French oak? American oak?
I'm assuming white oak.
If they don't tell you, let me put it this way.
If they don't tell you
it's some special type of oak, it is white oak.
You would assume.
What are we rating it?
I think I'm going
five and a half on this.
That's exactly what I was going to say.
Five point five. That's exactly.
This is the 90 proofers.
In the 90 category, I'll give this
five, six.
That mickters last week was 90.
Right.
And it was differently.
Very good.
Five and a half for me.
I'll give it a little bit more love.
Five, six. I do like it.
I would get out of bed.
I'd let it make a sandwich for me
before it left.
Wow.
You expect a lot from your bourbon.
Interesting.
A little hug.
All right. Well, there you have it.
That was our bourbon.
And there's quite a bit left.
It's not ready for Infinity Bottle, is it?
No, not yet. I think there's another pour left.
So for the Dudes Like Us listeners out there,
you can find us on Facebook,
Dudes Like Us dash podcast.
Or you can find Dudes Like Us dash Woodcraft.
Before the show ends,
I wanted to make a few announcements.
Next week, this is the first half of this week's show.
Next week, we have for the first half,
Garrison Brothers will be out.
And then James will be...
That's kind of cool, man.
They'll be representing. We're looking forward to that.
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I just posted, not last week's,
but two weeks ago. I just posted those today.
They're good.
You're talking about Steen and Brian?
No, there's one before that.
Oh, Lord have mercy.
Oh, okay. I remember the soundbite now.
Horrific. Horrific soundbite.
I hope you guys enjoy it as much as
we enjoy saying it.
I don't know.
There are so many. I know.
That's good. What are the words I sent this time?
It was like...
or something.
You were making some weird noise.
Some noises.
Pull it up on your phone. I don't know why.
Here's the problem. Here's the problem.
Every single time we have these soundbites,
there is totally contextual...
There's a reason why we make these.
In addition...
He sends some crazy ass soundbite with no context
and it makes it sound like total buffoons.
Which I guess we kind of are.
But still, the other thing
is that it's never of himself.
It's only us. Never.
Here we go. Let's see if you pop this up.
What is the soundbite?
Oh my God.
Is that me? That's you.
That's definitely you. That's you.
Dude, that's your voice. That's you.
Why would I do that?
Why would I make that noise?
I'm laughing like a what? Who?
I don't know.
I don't understand either.
God.
You'll pet that dog.
I'll pet that dog.
You and I going back and forth.
Because again,
Jeff insists on never pointing...
No, I was on that one as well.
No, I don't believe that one second.
No.
I think I heard the last word on that.
You bitch.
You did. You said bitch.
That made us laugh super hard.
How much time do we have left?
I don't want to start on a new topic.
We've got 10 minutes. 15 minutes.
We haven't talked about the VP debate
that's going on as we speak.
That's right. What's the latest on that?
I don't know.
I think we all know that
VP debates don't decide an election.
But it's kind of
interesting to hear.
I don't know. It might add some momentum
to one side or the other, don't you think?
I don't think so.
It could add momentum.
I don't think it is. It's not a game changer.
I think for the most part, people know who they're going to vote for at this point.
Oh, yeah.
More than ever, it's already been decided.
If you don't know who at this point,
you're what? Two months out?
One month out.
That's a good point.
There's always the October surprise.
So don't be surprised
if something gets dropped.
What could that be? There's always
one. What could it be?
Who knows? Is it going to be another bullshit
like lawfare against Trump?
Like another court
charging him
with something? Or something he
said 30 years ago is
going to resurface. Yep.
They did that on The Five.
Jessica Cartlove,
is that her name?
She brought some stuff up.
Oh, is she the lefty on the show?
I think she's pretty smart.
She's cool. I think she's cool.
I don't agree with her
policies.
The way she attacks is just as bad
as the way we attack them.
What she said today was
Donald Trump
how he cheats on his wife.
Oh, come on.
They're talking about ethics
and comparisons.
He said, yeah, yeah, Donald Trump
cheats on his wife. Well,
you guys said Donald Trump was a Nazi.
Well, JD Vance said
that Donald Trump was a Nazi.
So it's basically his childish
bullshit. It's just useless
banter that gets put out there
and we got to listen to it, getting us all
charged up and tribal.
Just stop.
Stop with that shit.
You know what I would love?
I would love for
a debate for
them to have the moderators
not just be some nobody.
I'll run it.
And all I'm going to do is I'm going to ask the questions.
We'll take a poll. These are the questions
that we're going to ask. On the five?
No, just for a debate period.
I don't care who it is, the president, the vice president.
OK, got you. Keep going. So what I would want to do
is I'd be a moderator.
It doesn't matter who it is because it's not a debate.
All you're going to do is ask the questions.
And you say, all right.
Well, no, I'm just
saying I will ask all the questions.
But what I want to do is I'm going to fact check them right
there, not only with the
facts, but we're going to show us the video.
You know, you know when Trump says
hey, you know what, there's good people on both sides.
Well, down there, Kamala.
Let's roll the video.
And it says exactly what he says.
And then when he says, well, she didn't like
fracking and then all of a sudden,
all right, well, let's listen to all those videos.
And then she can have her moderators
and maybe she can throw some stuff
back at him. Well, you said this. OK.
Well, you just can't say Trump lies all the
time. What does he do? Lie, lie, lie.
OK. Well, you're saying that. But just
because you're saying it doesn't make it true.
And just because Trump calls
Walls a moron doesn't
mean necessarily he's a moron.
I don't know. I'm kind of I
think Walls is extremely sketchy.
The fact that he's lived 25 years in
China. I think that's sketchy.
He owns a house in China. He went over
there. Well, he said
12 times it's coming out. It's been more than that.
Right. It's it's extremely
suspect. No one talks about it.
And it's toxic. And frankly,
I don't know who to believe anymore.
It's so frustrating listening to all these news
networks. Everybody has a fucking opinion
and shit's getting worse.
Yeah, you know, that's why I
agree. I tend to like I said,
I watch one new show. It's the five.
I'll poke around on CNN,
MSNBC, just to see
what are they talking about? Sure.
I'm disgusted, of course. I'm just like, you guys
are morons. But
I want to hear both sides. Yeah.
I want to take I do too much.
I go to Google News. I go to, you know,
right and left and I'm all over the
place and it's too much. It's time consuming.
And it weighs on you. And then then I
then I stopped and I'm done. I'm like,
all right, I watched it. I'm not going
to deal with the news the rest of the day, unless there's some big
breaking news. Yeah, I have it. I need
my wife has gotten on me big
time about always being on my phone
and always checking news. And I want to. She's
right, man. She's right. I want to have some closure
on that debate show that I'm
proposing. And it's because
if you have a debate and you have someone
there that's unbiased. I mean, I could be
biased for Trump. They could be biased for Kamala if she wants
well, you're not showing that video.
Whatever. But as long as it's not
edited, you know, and then you got to have someone
make sure, OK, is this authenticated?
So everything they bring up. I'm just saying if you
went up there and told the American folks
the truth and they
fact checked it right there in real time
and says, uh, uh, uh, uh.
That's not true, comma. They need like an
AI robot that like does it.
Oh, that's not true. And then they like
AI just spits out like really what's
out there. Actually, that would be kind of funny, but you don't
know that true. Yeah, we can't even trust AI
anymore. AI is built by someone. So it's
biased. It's totally biased. I mean,
remember what we heard about, you know, what do you think
about the Kamala campaign? Why should I vote for her?
And it gave this long thing. Why should
I vote for Trump? Yeah, I'm not allowed to
give political advice. Uh, sorry.
Right. That's like, wait a second.
You just gave it for Harris. Right. So
I mean, yeah, it's biased too.
Did you hear about SNL last weekend?
Saturday Night Live? No. Yes.
They made fun of the
assassination attempt.
Dude, is there no
is there no boundary?
Well, not anymore, no.
They literally had him,
you know, standing at the podium like
as if, you know, when he was shot at
when he was shot, I should say shot.
And, uh, and
they made fun of it. Well, how did they
what? What did they do? Just
made jokes of it? Yeah, let's play it.
Let's play it. I think it's disgusting.
Yeah, it's
absolutely disgusting.
And it's
I feel that way either way. It doesn't matter who it is.
You don't make fun of that shit. This is
the roasted. Pushes back on SNL
skit about assassination attempt.
Is firing back at SNL
today, slamming them for making
jokes about the attempt on his life.
We love my rallies
except when someone says bing bong, bing bing bing.
Right at me.
And watch this.
As the actor playing JD Vance comes
to the podium, Trump leaves and takes
the bulletproof glass with him.
In a statement today,
the Trump campaign called the sketch
disgusting. There were two assassination
attempts against President Trump
within a span of seven weeks.
And SNL apparently finds
that funny. And the social media response was
somebody died.
Somebody died.
Somebody was killed
during that assassination attempt. And somebody was
critically injured. Two people were
critically injured. It's like
how did that pass the smell test?
How have we gotten to a point in this country
where they don't give a shit
because it didn't impact them. They
weren't there. I can't believe it.
And they're so, they got so much
TDS, they want it to happen.
They do. They literally want it to happen.
It was like the tenacious deal with Jack
Black and Kyle,
his partner singing.
Don't miss next time. Yeah, that's his birthday
gift. And he got
canceled for that because it was fresh.
But this is the same thing. Same thing.
This is the same exact thing but yet you hear
nothing because it's not new anymore.
Damn. It's like, it's like, this
thing is old. It's like, oh yeah, he's
fine. He's fine. Stop. Fuck up. Shut up.
What are you doing? Oh, cry. Oh, what's wrong?
Did somebody throw rocks at you?
Yeah, like stupid motherfucker.
Like what's your name that posted? People died.
No ears were harmed during the second presidential
attempt. No ears were harmed.
Everybody relax.
What? And you get the
Iranians coming after his ass.
So there's still a high probability
something's going to happen. How real is that?
Apparently very real.
Enough for them to admit it.
But says who?
DOJ, State Department.
They're all
making it very, very, it's
out in the open.
So, dude, in a normal
world, if that were to happen,
we would fuck them up.
Yep. Well, fucking us
up. You know what? Overall,
the bourbon was great. I had a good time. Mr. Producer,
thank you for being on top of shit tonight.
Mr. Producer, Mr. Austin, thank you.
Dudes, I got some. Sean. I'm Paul.
I'm Jeff.