So welcome back to Deuce.
Speaking of Deuce, Sean dropped a Deuce.
No I did not drop a Deuce.
I absolutely knew there was a Deuce.
A Deuce maker.
So anyway, I want to discuss the Burbone.
Exploding tomato.
Burbone.
The Burbone that we're partaking on on part two.
It is the Redemption.
Redemption.
Weeded Burbone.
Yep.
So it's actually quite tasty.
Is that like a 19-
It's very tasty.
Is that a 1920- what's Redemption?
I think I remember a movie-
Like the definition?
No, I remember a movie title.
There was a movie called Redemption.
Redemption.
I don't think it's the same.
So I think there's something in the 1920s about the word Redemption.
Like is there- that's a thing, right?
Because this is a Burbone that is named Redemption.
It's got to be- you know what?
I don't know.
I bet you it is the name for the fact that they repealed Prohibition.
Redemption.
Could be.
I- look it up.
Look up Prohibition.
Redemption.
I guarantee it.
That's it.
The people that fought it and it was repealed, they are like, we've been redeemed.
It's Redemption.
Well, the angle on this particular strain of Redemption is a tweet.
Reveal day.
Boom.
Nailed it.
Redemption whiskey.
Nailed it.
So let me discuss the Mash Bill here.
Well, that's not it.
The Burb-
Mash Bill- Redemption has several different types of bourbon.
You got Rye-
This is the weeded version.
Well, that's- yes.
Redemption has a couple different bourbons.
Weeded.
So we have the weeded.
The white label.
Space.
Paul likes white label.
Especially Eben Williams.
No, no, no.
Not a big fan.
Actually, I didn't mind it.
Hold on.
What?
That was bottled in Bond.
You talking about the Redemption white label?
No.
It's the Eben Williams Midway is what we call it.
The mixer.
Yes.
Yeah.
There we go.
Right there.
Yeah, it's the one right in the middle.
$50.
No, it's the right.
One more.
To the left.
To the right.
Redemption.
There it is.
Right.
Weeded straight bourbon.
No, don't cross it off your list.
What's happening?
What the hell?
What is going on?
I don't know what he's doing.
To the right, two.
We never know what he's doing.
To the right, two.
Right there.
Oh, I thought it was the one.
OK, to point that out, they're the same.
It's the same picture.
No, one's less expensive.
It's the same picture.
One's less expensive.
I know that, but it is the same picture.
And it says no tax.
He's dead on it.
But it's less expensive.
And it happens to be the picture of the bottle we're holding right now.
Imagine that.
But I'm looking for the cheaper one.
It's always about getting a better deal.
God bless.
Why would I spend 53 when you can spend it for 50?
I'm looking from a macro perspective.
So the mash bill.
It's too late.
The mash bill on this.
What is the mash bill?
All right, go.
It's a blend of 51% corn.
I like it.
That makes it a bourbon.
Which is the minimum that a bourbon needs.
Minimum.
45% winter wheat.
Wow.
45%.
That is the minimum.
That's the minimum.
Wow.
45%.
That is the matches that I've handed.
Damn.
And 4% malted barley, aged in new chard oak barrels, of course.
Wow.
Okay.
That's why we like it.
Notice there's no rye.
Correct.
No rye.
They replaced the rye with the wheat.
Wheated bourbon.
I tell you what.
There's something to this.
I love Rebel Yell.
I love it.
Well, Rebel Yell is another wheated.
It's another wheated bourbon.
But I don't think it has 45% wheat.
No.
But how do we know?
Look up on the screen.
How do we know?
Look up the match bill of.
You don't know yet.
Hold on.
Let's work on redemption here.
I've had 700.
I'm excited about this redemption.
I was not.
I tasted it.
I liked it.
But I never really gave it attention.
This is dangerous bourbon.
I tell you what.
It goes down smooth, gentlemen.
Well, it's the wheat.
I'm telling you.
I just think the wheat bourbon's going down so much.
So instead of rye, it's wheat.
In fact, I think it's in my mind.
I'm not.
So I think that the wheat bourbons are a little light on the palate.
Yeah, they're smooth.
They're smooth.
It's like a light beer.
It's like a light bourbon.
I think it's more like a lager.
That's what I'm saying.
That's what I would consider a light beer.
It's not an IPA.
It's a well-groomed.
It's not sweet, though.
It's not.
No, our producer said wheat is sweet.
It doesn't have spice.
The wheat is sweet.
doesn't have spice.
The wheat is sweet.
No, actually, I would say it is.
I would say that wheat is kind of sweet tasting.
Maybe that's right.
So, Rebel Yell.
Yeah, it's not harsh.
So, Rebel Yell is made by Lux, right?
Okay.
So, they're mash-bale, a weeded,
this is on their website.
Okay.
A weeded mash-bale, which is 68% corn.
Oh, wow.
Very corny.
20.
20% wheat.
Corn full.
20% wheat and 12% malted barley.
So, no rye, again, no rye.
It's used in Rebel Yell.
But look, you either have...
That is not a coincidence, guys.
It's either wheat or rye.
You can't have both.
It's either...
So, I tell you what, the next time we go,
I'm gonna get a rye.
Yeah, can't do it.
I'm gonna get one.
Okay.
We need to get them all.
We need to try it.
All of them.
Before we sign off,
because there's many bourbons that we like.
That when we look at the mash-bale, we're like, oh.
Not just bourbons.
Whiskeys.
Right.
By the way, I bought one.
I forgot to bring it over.
But it was...
Have Shelly bring it right now.
Yeah, good idea.
I don't think...
At the door.
I need more booze.
I know you're not doing anything important.
Can you bring over the whiskey I brought?
It may take her out of her slumber.
Anyway, so I'm going to get, the next time,
I'm not gonna, unless there's something special bourbon
there, I'm gonna get, there's a specific rye that I...
I'm sorry, I apologize.
What was, Rebel Yell, right?
Rebel Yell.
So what we need to do is we need to create a spreadsheet.
Yeah, we need to be a little more methodical about this.
We need a database.
I mean, at some point, when we get up to the 300 bourbons
and whiskies that we've tried.
We're 10% there.
Yeah.
Oh, yeah.
Actually, we're over 10% there.
We are, and it's starting to be like,
it's hard to keep track.
There's a bunch.
Well, we're standing out there at the bourbon selection
going, which one do we want?
And unfortunately, many of them are at the halfway marks.
We're like, fuck, we don't want to finish it.
Yeah, and that's kind of where it's at,
because the word is that you drink bourbon in layers.
It is.
Once you get past the shoulder, the neck bourbon
is the best.
Is the worst.
What?
Which is this.
What is this?
Are we becoming Somalian?
Hey, hey, whoa, whoa, whoa.
We're becoming Somalian.
We're becoming Nigerian, yes.
What do you say?
Somalia.
Oh, dang it.
I always get that wrong.
You're close.
You added an extra N.
Oh, okay.
Somalia.
No.
Sorry.
We're becoming Somalian.
No.
I don't believe my palette is as sophisticated
as what a Somalian needs to be.
Can you look that up?
I think, you know what?
Somalia?
Time out, yeah.
I've never challenged you on this word.
I bet you $100, that's a real word.
Okay, but it doesn't mean.
Not Somalia.
Somebody, no, hold on.
It says a citizen of Somalia.
I was dead on.
All right, let me get to spelling.
You don't even know the spelling.
Go to that spreadsheet.
This is what I'm talking about.
You got three categories.
You don't even know the spelling of Somalia.
CRWB.
Or whatever.
CRWB.
Okay, no, hold on.
Paul is questioning my manhood.
You're basically saying Somalian as a.
He's calling me a woman.
You're saying Somalian like a French person would.
He's another fox in France.
Somalian, Somalian, it's fantastic, Somalian.
Well, that's Italian, not really.
What is the, Wild Turkey is the first one.
What are you doing?
Just type in Wild Turkey.
You're creating the spreadsheet now?
Yeah, well, we don't have time for that.
So, Mr. Producer.
75.
Go to Google.
And type in S-O-M-M-E-L Somalia, there you go.
Wine.
Bitch.
Wine.
Somalia, go to the second one.
Yeah, go to the second one.
I wanna know. What does it say?
It's gonna say a gay man who loves wine.
Whiskey Somalia.
That's a wine steward.
It's a, that sits there in, I'm sorry.
It's a person.
Whiskey Somalia.
I'm sorry.
We have our first timestamp of the night.
No, no, no, no.
Is it the, oh.
Hey, look, I apologize.
Oh, no, no, no.
We don't need a timestamp because I apologize.
Well, and you're talking about a bundle of sticks.
Bundles.
No, I'm talking about some dude that stands there
and goes, hey guys, you want some,
I'm sorry, that was wrong.
Every time. Go to Whiskey Somalia.
Every time it has a lisp.
Go to the tab.
I really wanna understand the lisp.
Well, the steward, a steward always has a lisp.
It doesn't say a steward of wine.
It's a pair of.
Click on the Whiskey Somalia.
It does say steward.
In short, a whiskey.
It says a wine steward.
I said wine.
It said wine steward.
Did it? I missed it.
What is a whiskey Somalian?
Why? What the fuck?
It says, oh Somalia.
I thought you were like Somalian.
Sean, don't blow up the second segment.
You know what?
The first segment was amazing.
Don't blow it up.
Let's try to retain the people that we have left.
So typically the Somalia is wine.
Stop. Right?
Stop, stop, stop.
Bitch.
Right now we have to kill everything?
Okay, start.
No, we already started.
We're not restarting.
Yeah, we're not restarting.
We gotta restart.
Fuck, man, I fucked everything up.
You cannot recover.
Totally ruined everything.
Drop the F word.
Can we just bleep it?
Yes, yes, let's bleep it.
I'd rather not cut the whole sequence
because right now,
Jeff has no idea what he's talking about
and I want it on record.
I just want 100 bucks from Paul.
I do have that bleeping sound.
Where does it say?
Okay, in short,
a whisker Somalier is term made up, made up,
made up by some marketing folks in Texas.
There you go.
Yeah.
And where do we live?
One of them happens to be Jeff.
Go back to the spreadsheet.
Who run a thing called the Wizard Academy.
Okay.
Whiskey Academy.
Wizard, Wizard Academy.
That says the Wizard Academy,
aka the Whiskey Marketing School.
Okay.
I don't want to break it to you,
but all of it is made up.
Somalier is a real thing.
It's not real.
It's made up by some marketing troll.
Hold on, it is a marketing troll.
They got the word wizard in the ensemble language.
Whiskey Somalier is an expert in wine.
All right, time out.
They actually go to school for that.
Okay, where did you hear that word for the first time?
From their YouTube channel.
There we go.
No, I heard Somalier years and years and years ago.
Yeah, they're wine stewards.
The wine stewards.
Oh.
I'm sorry, wine stewards.
So I'm correct, you owe me $100.
Did you guys bet money?
Yes, I bet him $100.
First off, there was no bet.
Hold on.
First off, I'm fact checking this.
And,
Somalier is a real thing.
Well, yeah, but not for bourbon.
So if you have a Somalier of wine,
why can't you have it of another?
All right, hold on.
Because it was made up by some Wizard Academy
from fucking, from Harry Potter.
Producer, go back to the definition.
From Harry Potter school.
We have a definition already set up.
So what does it say?
Somalier is what?
On the far right.
Yeah, it's jacked.
No, no, far right up.
The last tab open on the right.
This does not help your case.
It says right there.
I win.
Oh, it's the same thing.
It says wine steward.
I am the Cleveland Browns right now.
Yeah.
No, no.
But you don't even care about the Browns.
You care about the Bengals who lost burro,
and now you're like all, ooh, who cares?
And I had to whop in 45 points in fantasy.
Yeah, so.
Heavens to Murgatroyd.
So you don't know shit about football.
So what cartoon was that from?
Which one?
Heavens to Murgatroyd.
Never heard that in my life.
What?
I've never heard that.
Is that the Martian from the Looney Tunes?
Looney Tunes?
No.
You talking about the Looney Tunes Martian guy?
The Martian.
No, it was the Panther, the little pink Panther.
Who's the cat?
The little pink Panther doesn't talk.
Wasn't the pink Panther.
It was the Panther that was pink.
What is happening right now?
It was, what are you talking about?
So the pink Panther doesn't talk.
The Hanna Barbera.
Pink Panther doesn't talk.
You're right.
What is that?
Ba-na, ba-na, ba-na, ba-na, ba-na, ba-na, ba-na.
But it's not the Panther that is pink.
But it's Panther that's not pink.
I think we need to regroup here.
No, I believe the wild turkey.
So, yeah.
Heavens to Murgatroyd event.
No, no, no.
Right, what did we take during halftime?
Because it has made us loopy to the point
where we're not making any sense at all.
I did a line of coke.
There you go, there's the Panther and he's fucking pink.
Line of coke?
He's a mountain lion.
Is that what you said?
It's snaggle plus.
I did a line of creatine.
It's snaggle plus, it's snaggle plus.
The quasi-Shakespearean turns of phrase.
Heavens to Murgatroyd event.
Existential event.
You are correct.
I think we need to regroup.
Sorry, remember that.
There you go.
I will back that up.
Unlike, I am not being supported on the small yay.
Created by William Hanna.
I will back up.
So, hold on, hold on, hold on.
When we were kids.
Yeah, it was Hanna Barbera.
Hanna Barbera.
Who was the guy who did all the voices?
Mel?
Time out.
Well, it was William Hanna and Joseph Barbera.
No, it's one guy who did all the voices.
Hold on, I'm kind of taken aback by this.
Hanna Barbera was, I saw that on almost every single cartoon.
Correct.
Back in the day, they did all of them.
I thought, are you telling me, wow, really?
Oh my gosh, yeah, they did a boatload.
Very impressive.
Yeah, actually, you're mentioning a name, the Mel guy.
I'm trying to think of...
Mel, Mel, Mel, go to Looney Tunes voice.
It's the name of Mel.
That's different, no, that's a different tribe.
But he did all the voices.
But for Looney Tunes.
Which is bigger.
But it's not Hanna Barbera.
Looney Tunes voice.
Because you got Grape Ape, you got...
Captain Grape Ape!
I wasn't even close.
His name was Mel something.
Mel blank.
He did all the voices.
Bugs Bunny, Elmer Fudd.
Really?
Porky Pig.
He did Fred Flintstone.
He did all.
Hey there, Barney.
Wow.
Who's up there, Fred?
That's not even close.
I'm a thousand voice, 400 distinct voices.
You suck at this whole voice thing.
Yeah.
Yeah, you probably shouldn't do a podcast.
Yeah, he did all of them, man.
He did all of them.
Let's get a drink.
Damn, but I remember as a kid, when you said Hanna,
I was like, Hanna, that was what you saw.
Hanna Barbera.
You know what?
Hanna Barbera.
I think the kids these days are missing out
on Saturday Night Cartoons.
I used to wake up at fricking 8 a.m.
Oh yeah.
And go till noon.
Oh no, go up.
Just watching cartoons.
We were.
Right there, on the right.
Yes, there it is.
Remember that?
Hanna Barbera.
Absolutely.
That was the logo that popped up on your screen.
Oh yeah, you just went, oh yeah, I'm ready.
And when you see that popped up
and you heard the logo spin come out of there,
oh my God.
It was like a secretion coming from the rooms
out to the other rooms.
Okay, first off, first off, the fact that all,
I was always the youngest of four.
Yeah, Yogi Bear.
Hold on, I was the youngest of four.
And the fact that all four of us would be out
in front of the TV without the parents even up.
Yeah, yeah.
I mean, there's a certain liberation there.
Like, you know what I mean?
It's like when you're 16 and you have a car
and you can start driving.
Hell, the Smurfs were, oh, Hanna Barbera, I believe.
We were little kids.
That's too bad.
Before our parents were up and we were.
Gargamel.
We had Scooby Doo.
We had the TV on and it was Hanna Barbera.
Tom and Jerry.
Tom and Jerry, what a classic one.
Hanna Barbera did that too?
Yes.
That is insane.
Yeah.
They were, are they getting, so are they, they're out.
No, they're rich beyond their wildest dreams.
No, I doubt it.
Estate-wise.
Well, they're dead.
They're estates.
Well, I don't know.
They're family, they're kids and kids.
Space Ghost?
Oh, I don't know.
Yes, which one?
Space Ghost. Space Ghost was fabulous.
Space Ghost?
Oh, fabulous.
Okay, yeah, you lost me on that one.
No, it was good.
Oh, hold on.
You would know Space Ghost.
What are the major ones?
No, go back, go back.
What were the major ones?
I saw Flintstones.
There he is.
Look at that.
I've never even heard of this one.
Oh my God, that was fantastic.
They even brought him back today with a talk show,
but it's from the fricking 70s, dude.
He's basically Batman with different colors.
No.
He's an asshole.
Is he really?
Yes.
He's like Deadpool?
Yes.
Kind of, yeah.
And he had a sidekick.
Space Ghost.
Yeah, he fought the fricking bug.
God, they all work out, too.
Look how ripped he is.
They have a nice, they have nice.
Damn, he's built.
He's got a six pack, though.
He's got that one little stripe in the middle.
Holy shit.
Look at that bulge.
I know bulge.
It doesn't matter how many pushups I do,
I am never gonna look like that, guys.
I'm never gonna look like that.
Oh, look at that, Ariella.
Pepperoni roll there.
Oh, you do pepperoni.
What the fuck?
Oh, yeah, I'm not gonna ask,
but deep down, I'm really curious
about this pepperoni thing.
I am not, stop.
I don't wanna know, I don't wanna know.
Search pepperoni nipple.
No, no, no, no.
We're shutting that down.
We just vetoed that.
And by the way.
Back it up one, back it up one.
You know what, hold on, can I make a rule?
See that?
Look, I've seen every single one of those.
They are all fantastic, maybe.
Huckleberry Finn.
Oh, yeah, I've seen all of those.
Because on Saturday morning,
they had a Hanna-Barbera Olympics.
And they had three factions.
And the three factions would compete with each other.
And they would have like, all right,
we'll do one episode of this, one episode of that,
one episode of this.
They had like, it was an hour long.
They had 20 minutes slots.
What were the other ones?
Hanna-Barbera and what were the other ones?
They had three factions of Hanna-Barbera.
Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.
And they had a, every week, they would have a different,
a different selection of the artists
in the caricatures that would show up.
The genre.
And they'd have a story.
Like one week they had Yogi fucking Bear.
The other week, I don't even remember
their names, but I remember seeing them.
Call it that?
Why, I know some.
They call it that?
So you had Snacklepuss.
Hi boys and girls.
Huckleberry.
Yogi fucking Barbera.
Huckleberry Finn.
Yeah, they had Huckleberry Finn
and the pink, the panther that's pink.
Then you had, god.
Really?
Then you had Quick Draw McGraw.
Sorry, I'm a Quick Draw hater.
It was Quick Draw McGraw.
Quick Draw McGraw, woo, woo, woo.
All right.
Who did Jabberjaw?
Jabberjaw?
Jabberjaw.
Which one is that one?
That was a, that was a great white shark.
It sounded like Snacklepuss.
Is that the chicken?
No, it's a great white shark.
Yeah, it was a big shark.
It's a great white shark.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Okay, not close.
Yeah, I was gonna say, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Oh my god.
Look up Jabberjaw.
How do we get off of this?
Jabberjaw.
Dino boy.
Oh my god.
There he is.
Oh, no.
Yeah, we're gonna go see him, right boys?
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
He's from New Jersey?
Yes, that's what he sounded like.
Are you kidding me?
No.
I wanna hear Jabberjoy or whatever it is.
Jabberjaw.
He's freaking hilarious.
Okay, here we go.
Turn that up.
Okay, all right.
I don't hear anything.
Who's teaching the shi-yo-o-mouse?
We've got him.
Bring him aboard.
Perhaps T. U. on the bus.
See?
Oh, well, I need to hear that louder.
I'm deaf, but I mean, that was,
so he's from New Jersey then.
See if there's another one that's louder.
Yeah, that one's a poorer selection.
Ta-da!
I saved the disk and got rid of the octopus.
By the way, what are you guys doing out here?
It is!
He's from New Jersey!
Yep.
It's Joe Pesci.
Hey, what are you guys doing out here?
Yeah.
That was, that was, that was, that was, that was,
yeah, that was Joe Pesci's first credits.
Fuck all three of you, okay?
You know what I'm saying?
His first credits when he was nine years old
was Jabba John.
Oh, there you go!
No, no, no, no.
Yes, he was the band!
He was the drummer!
He plays the drums on the band.
Yes, yes, he was the drummer.
Shut the fuck up.
Get this off of there.
Dude, the producer, this is what I watched
when I was your age.
See, that explains a lot, by the way.
100%.
A lot.
Okay, we gotta move on.
1976.
See the little dome?
We got a little bit of a run in there.
We gotta move on.
We gotta move on, this is disturbing.
It was essentially,
so 1976 Hannah Barbera Jabba John intro.
It was essentially Scooby-Doo with a shark.
With a shark.
Josie the Pussy from New Jersey.
Because the one guy looks like Shaggy.
They all were.
And you have a crew.
It's essentially Scooby-Doo in the ocean.
I got you.
Is what it is.
Unbelievable.
You want some of this Jamba-Jool?
Jamba-Jool!
Stop!
Stop the madness.
It sounds like Carmine from Laverne and Shirley.
Oh, wow.
I get no respect.
I can do all the voices.
It was funny.
But let's not.
All right, we gotta move on.
This is giving me a headache.
It really is.
Do Velma.
How's that go?
I don't know.
Don't, please don't.
Who's Velma?
Some Scooby-Doo.
Velma.
Oh, I can't do Velma?
What the hell?
Okay.
All right.
I'm getting a headache.
All right, we gotta move on.
All right, so cartoons were a big part of our childhood.
Extreme.
Well, most of us didn't live outside the United States.
Actually, that's not true.
See, that's what sucked for me.
I watched cartoons.
Well, you lived in a remote area of the United States.
Well, yes.
So, Antarctica.
Here's the thing, here's the thing.
Really?
You might as well have been.
Really?
That's close.
Look, I lived in Germany.
That's why I have none of my fingers or toes.
They all frostbited fucking off.
I lived in Germany and I got to see all this stuff.
Okay, can I?
I'm just saying that you.
Can I?
Hello.
You lived in a third world country.
Yes, but, so here's the thing.
Yeah, it sucked.
Well, no, it didn't suck.
But it was, from a Western culture perspective, it sucked.
So, I grew up in Denver up until the age of six.
Now, that's when I got on my cartoons.
I got my cartoon fix.
Yeah, see?
And then, yeah.
So, you didn't watch Jabberjowl?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I've never seen Jabberjowl in my life.
That is horrible.
Until this horrific night.
Or, yeah, now that I'm.
Or Space Ghost?
I've never even heard of it.
Space Ghost is funny.
Batman with a white shirt on.
Dude, he's Batman with an attitude.
He's like, hey man, you know what, fuck you.
Batman has an attitude.
What's up, bitch?
All right, anyway, let's move on.
Anyway, so, I didn't get TV from like seven years old
to basically, yeah, seven years old
to basically high school.
God, that sucks.
I did not get, I did not get TV.
Now, I mean, when we came back to the States,
like during the summer, and we would watch TV.
But we were, like we didn't watch cartoons at that point.
Like, Top Cat.
Right.
Yeah, anyway, all right, we gotta get off of cartoons.
No.
No, it's gonna suck.
No, I could talk this stuff because.
Well, there's so much spooge on the table right now.
We gotta wipe this shit off.
I mean, you guys are just going nuts
with this cartoon stuff.
Some gyrating over here.
That's what I'm saying.
Well, it was a defining, I was never a judge.
Have you ever seen Captain Caveman?
One of my favorites.
Oh, all right, so.
Captain Caveman, loved it.
He had the long hair, right, with the club.
Well, he was basically cousin of it.
He was basically his hair.
He was cousin of it with the fucking club.
He was cousin of it.
So what was my favorite cartoon?
All right, so I have to think about that.
You know another one that I used to watch was Popeye.
I was just thinking that.
I did watch, I saw that.
Yeah, I watched the shit out of that too,
but I was like.
It's a little bit repetitive.
I always thought you suck.
Open the stupid can of.
Even as a child, I was like, dude, this sucks.
That wasn't my favorite, but I watched the shit out of it.
There was another one that.
But I'll tell you what, after watching Popeye,
I was strangely attracted to olive oil.
I'm sure you were.
Shit nice legs.
Yeah.
That right there.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
An erection from two miles away.
I was like.
You had an erection at five years old?
Yeah.
You had an early start.
Well, you know, an emotional erection.
Oh, that would have.
Yeah.
OK.
He's like, I think I should be doing this.
What?
Should this cartoon be making me feel this way?
I got some of my eye.
All right, so hold on.
So back in the Hall of Justice, that was.
Another good one.
I know.
That was the DC Comics.
That wasn't the Avengers.
DC Comics.
That was Superman, Green Lantern.
Back in the Hall of Justice.
That was the.
And they had the twins.
Wonder twins activate in the form of an ice pick.
And what was the monkey's name?
No, no, no, no.
What do you mean monkey?
There are two kids that one turned into an animal.
And there was a monkey.
No.
Oh.
There was a monkey.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
There was a monkey.
The name was Gleek.
There was a monkey.
All right, so one can turn into any form of ice.
Yeah.
The other one was like water.
Turn into a bucket of water.
One can turn into any form of ice.
And the other one can turn into any animal.
It was a utensil.
No.
Well, you could be like a.
Tongs, water and tongs.
Power twins activate.
Wonder twins.
Yeah.
And they're from another world.
They're aliens.
No, they're from Iowa.
Actually, I missed that.
And the Wonder Twins from Iowa.
Were they from another world?
Yes, they were.
They were aliens from Iowa.
I never got that.
All right, so you got all these interesting factoids
about this cartoon.
But the hell with Hanna-Barbara.
Let me explain why.
Because we were working one day, and we were all
talking about cartoons.
And they started talking.
So this is a work project.
Well, it was kind of.
How long ago was this?
Is this the reason why the company no longer exists?
That's why I got laid off.
Yeah, so yeah, we were talking about Wonder Twins.
And we started Wikipedia-ing Wonder Twins.
And yeah, we find out they were from another country.
Could we try to understand?
Planet or country?
Planet.
Well, I would say they would have to be,
if they could transform themselves.
First off, the Vulcan.
Look at the picture.
I was going to say, they look kind of Slovakian.
Well, it's a safe spec.
Slovakians have Vulcaniers?
Oh my god.
You got a nose like.
You realize you just turned off the three Slovakian listeners
we have.
You're looking at the skin tone.
You offended the shit out of them right now.
Skin tone in the.
They look Slovakian.
There's an editorial to the left that said,
one is a safe spec, safe spock, and one's a no flake.
What?
A now flake.
What is that?
OK.
A producer.
To the left.
I'm telling you, we've got to get off this cartoon thing.
We're losing people.
To the left of the no flake.
No doubt.
Right to the right.
Right.
Right there.
Click that.
What is that?
A show flake in a safe space.
No, no.
No.
What is that?
That's like the Wonder Twins of today.
Hold on.
Read that.
New York Times editor and Twitter community standards
chief by day, but University gender studies teachers
by night.
That's a shot.
Yeah, they're making fun of somebody.
They're making fun of a bunch of people right there.
Oh, what is that?
OK.
We've got to get off of this.
That's Gleek One.
The Wonder Twins.
Oh, OK.
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
Time out.
What's she wearing?
A little cosplay action.
I like that.
Skin Sight spandex.
Were you looking on the left or the right?
Because that matters.
I was looking on the left.
Oh, good.
Good call.
All right.
Get that moose knuckle.
Can we move on to the next topic?
You're uncomfortable about cartoons.
I think there's an obsession there
that's a little uncomfortable.
Well, because you didn't experience it.
Can we talk about TV shows?
Did your parents beat you when you watched cartoons?
Yes, they did.
Yes.
I didn't want to watch them.
And they shocked me until I did.
I'm sorry.
Where were you living?
What do you mean?
In Tunisia.
In Tonnesia.
Tanzania.
Where were you living?
Shut the hell up.
Where were you living?
Indonesia.
Yes.
Did they cane you there?
That was Freddie Mercury.
You watch cartoons and you get caned?
No, I didn't watch anything overseas.
I already established that.
Oh, so you were.
See, that's why he doesn't want to talk about it,
because he has no experience with the gutter rule space
ghost.
So you didn't get to watch anything.
In all fairness, that had to have sucked.
Because at this time in your life, you were probably.
But you know what?
I turned out OK.
You were hearing some hearing issues.
I'm not going to bounce balls off this.
I'm just saying, God, what a deficit.
What a deficit to not be.
I mean, were you.
Shut the heck up.
Come on, man.
I'm not busting balls.
I'm just saying, the life experience for you
must have sucked.
Well, no.
Or did it?
Well, I got my cartoon experience,
but it was disjointed.
Just like there are a lot of listeners out there
that don't understand your hearing impairment.
Here we go.
Just give us the Cliff Notes, a little one minute banger
on from the time you were born and the evolution
of your hearing.
Fine.
This is really difficult to talk about, but I will.
Come on.
No, no.
I want a minute.
No more.
OK, I'll talk about it.
So I had perfect hearing until my parents forced
me to watch cartoons.
And they played it so loud.
So this is not.
I'm almost permanently deaf.
It was the Slovakian language, right?
It was fucking Slovakian parents that I had.
Slovakian.
They were my adoptive parents who were from Slovakia.
And yeah, they ruined my hearing.
So thank you for bringing up that painful memory.
OK, so before we move on from cartoons.
Really?
You think I'm going to bite on that?
I'm not.
It was awesome.
Before we move on from cartoons, there
is one more that was instrumental in my youth.
Melancholic luck is the thing to say.
Mr. Producer, Mr. Producer, if you could look up.
Bright old wine Christmas day.
The Herkuloids.
Herkuloids?
What?
The Herkuloids.
That was another big one.
This is how you wanted to end the comic segment?
Yes, because it was a big one for me.
No, why?
I don't know why.
But I enjoyed it.
This is the Hercules segment?
Did you have Slovakian adoptive parents?
They were a bunch of Slovakians.
Yes, the Herkuloids.
Herkuloids.
That's something you get on your butt?
It is.
Could be.
Depends.
Oh, look what I got if I took a shit, ate too much stuff,
and look what's with the guy on my butt.
What the hell is that?
It's a Dorino Gleap.
The Herkuloids.
That was another one.
Is that for real?
It was 100% real.
I watched it every frickin' Saturday.
Good Lord.
Oh, I remember that little dude, that little Triceratops.
I had a Triceratops.
Toot, toot, toot, toot, toot.
Shoot little bang balls out of his little horn.
I have literally never seen this before in my life.
It was a Space Ghost spinoff.
Or it was, look at that dude.
That's so awkward.
He is stacked.
Look at those gilts.
Look how ripped the girl is.
I was like, look at the dude.
What the fuck?
You gravitate to the dude?
I was looking at the girl.
I was like, yeah, look at that.
I tried to clash right over that.
His hand is on my ass.
I can tell you right now, the girl could kick my ass.
Look at that.
Proudly.
She could take me down like boom.
You think she's wearing underwear?
If she is there, Mr. Producer, can you
zoom in on that cartoon picture?
There is no thing on there.
I'm not seeing anything.
Can you remove some of those garments?
She looks well-groomed.
You think she has the landing strip?
Oh, just stop.
Just stop.
Landing strip.
You're just going to keep going until, there we go.
What is he going to do with it?
Landing strip.
What the hell, man?
Really, you went to landing strip.
You know what?
It's a 800 DQ.
There's something about, you know how
we talk about lines?
We talk about lines that you don't cross.
Jeff doesn't understand.
Now we got a snort over here.
We have a hyena laugh over here.
We are losing our audience.
I can promise you.
I'm waiting for him to search Herkuloids nude.
Herkuloids nude.
This is like, what is the deal with it?
Hey, Jeff, they will draw whatever you want.
No kidding.
I guarantee you there's probably somebody out there.
I'm so loony.
The Herkuloids with a landing strip.
It's on the Cartoon Network.
And it's got a.
Why is everything so perverted?
I've actually seen something kind of weird on this.
I mean, I've seen the Triceratops.
I mean, passing really fast over the channel.
What is this?
And I see Triceratops shooting the little balls out of his.
It's like ping pongs or something.
Maybe tennis balls.
They're stupid.
I mean, it's a sporting good ball?
Academy branded tennis balls.
I thought it manifested these.
Out of his hole.
Do some sort of natural piece of shit.
He kind of jammed in there.
No, he's just a tennis pro.
A tennis pro.
Just some sort of fecal matter that shoots out of his.
It was yellow.
No, it was kind of a reddish brown.
I don't remember.
Do I have to beg to get off of this cartoon?
Oh, there he is.
Oh, no.
I kind of wonder what kind of dye they had to eat.
He has a landing strip.
What?
That's some sort of dragon.
There it is.
Oh, the tank.
No, that's a Triceratops tank.
That's what I was saying.
I was saying it shoots these little pellets out
of its frickin horn.
Yeah, he's got one horn.
And they are not tops.
First off, the drawing is absolutely horrendous.
It's so bad.
This is not Hanna Barbera.
Yes, it is.
It can't be.
This is Warner Brothers.
OK.
No, this is a Hanna Barbera.
This is the B team.
This is a space ghost.
This has to be the B team.
It says Warner Brothers right there.
No, that's the TV channel.
The drawings are absolutely horrendous.
But back when you're 10, it was live action.
Yeah, but this is like King Kong.
Yeah, I guess it was.
No, horrible.
I'm going to throw a plate at you, you son of a bitch.
I'm going to throw a plate.
Oh, look at that.
Oh, there you go.
Good bro.
He just cut off the aliens.
All went down.
What is that?
There was an antenna that was controlling all the androids.
This is what's amazing.
This was the predecessor.
This is the, what do you call it?
What's the movie before the movie?
You call it a what?
Pre-Sequel.
Pre-Cursor.
Pre-something?
Pre-Quacle.
Independence Day.
Yeah, well.
It could have been.
See how all the aliens fell down as soon as he
cut the satellite feed?
But you know, as a kid, I loved that shit.
This is basically, that was the beginning of Independence Day.
I loved that shit as a kid.
That's wretched.
I didn't notice how bad the animation was.
Yes.
But when you're 10, in 1980, 1979, and this was out,
you're just like, this is awesome.
You know, I'll tell you, I watched a lot of Growing Up.
I watched a lot of Davey and Goliath.
Never watched Davey.
Davey?
Yeah, hi, Davey.
I watched Claymation.
I watched Land of the Lost.
What, Goliath was drunk?
Pull that up.
Davey and Goliath.
That was Claymation.
This is so painful.
Oh, come on.
Because he had like a.
What's Claymation?
He had a decade of no.
Dude, look at that.
I watched that show Growing Up.
It was the best shit I've ever seen.
Never heard of it.
Put on videos.
Here's the thing.
Here's the thing about Claymation.
Go up to episode one.
It creeps my wife out.
Totally.
Listen, listen right here.
She will not.
Here's the thing.
I would wake up.
Yeah.
This is weird.
I would wake up at 430 in the morning.
I would go out when we live in Germany.
Milk the cows.
When I lived in.
Make cheese.
I would get up.
Because here's the thing.
This was difficult.
And you should respect this.
German farm boy.
Would you make a monster?
I would respect this.
Because when you first were transplanted from the United
States into wherever you were living at the time,
there was a big break in the time.
So you would wake up in the middle of the night
and you didn't know why.
And when I would wake up, I turned the TV on
and it was black and white.
It would be 430 in the morning and this would pop off.
This is a hit play.
That explains all the therapy.
This is terrible.
This is worse than Herculoid.
This is.
This is dramatic.
Oh, listen.
Give it a second.
Listen, listen.
No, this is scary.
Just listen.
I sure am glad that no matter what happens, God is there.
Wait a second.
I'm in.
Herculoid, God is there through the hands of the people who
help after his sister.
I'm back in.
Shouldn't we help?
Even though it's still creepy.
We need more creepy stuff like this.
I don't care if it's claymation, we need more God in our lives.
So I am making a full reversal here.
I don't care how creepy it is.
You got to understand.
They're talking about God and I'm all in.
They didn't have phones.
They didn't have computers.
They didn't have shit.
Fuck, I didn't even have crayons.
Look at that.
Evangelical Lutheran Church in America.
I am 100% in right now.
They had that overseas and I watched it.
It was fantastic.
It was a little creepy, but they had a lot of life lessons
and I thought it was cool.
And you've gone to church every day since.
Well, it taught me enough to where
it was able to carry me through these times
without having to go to church.
I feel like I got my wings.
Are you serious?
Yeah.
So you literally got some spiritual.
Spiritual influence.
Spiritual nourishment from that.
You really did.
I did.
From clay.
You know what, I'll tell you what.
A bunch of clay figures gave you spiritual nourishment.
The answer is yes.
I am not going to ask you to watch all the episodes.
You got spiritual nourishment from clay.
But what they do teach you is this was a lot of the stuff
was I watched because I was an outsider.
I'm cutting him off.
Can we vote?
It takes a 2 thirds vote.
That's all it takes.
And he's out.
I want to enjoy the wild turkey and the redfish.
I'm sorry, Sean, please continue.
Hello, David.
I'm drunk.
But God made me drunk.
You're the one that freaking was watching the humitoids.
Yeah, no, herculitoids.
Not the hemorrhoids.
With some fucking triceratops ejaculating pellets out
of his forehead.
It had one horn.
You go from David and Goliath till ejaculating triceratops.
It didn't work very well.
OK.
The clay.
It didn't stick.
They didn't stick.
They were they didn't.
It wasn't like an ejaculate that would stick on your face.
It was more like it would just knock you out.
The clay gospel did not stick.
OK.
It did.
I want to say it did.
Can we take a short break?
So here's.
Silly putty, maybe.
Ooh.
I'm going to give them some advice.
Can I give some advice to.
Did you ever play with silly putty growing up?
Yeah, I can't.
All the time.
Comic strips?
You would smash it on the comic strip and you could stretch it.
I like the smell.
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Silly putty.
Oh, yeah, that was the bomb.
Do you think silly putty would make it in today's world?
Hell no.
No.
Is it electronic?
No.
Kids would first of all, they don't have comic strips.
You can like pull the comic ink off of.
Well, they have apps.
We totally did that.
They have apps that will do that.
Here's the thing.
I took the silly putty and I did the same thing you're
talking about where I put it over the comic strip on the paper
and I peeled it off and I thought it was the coolest thing.
But then I thought to myself, when
am I squishing it together, when I do, am I ruining my silly putty?
Yes, you are.
And I worried about that.
You did.
I was enjoying it.
Because by the end of the day, you had a new one.
No, no, I didn't.
Oh, that's Indonesia.
Well, I didn't either.
I had to make that silly putty last.
And I was stressing out about the fact,
am I ruining my silly putty?
Because then I don't have another one.
I'm not getting another one for like a year.
Your silly putty will turn dark because it has the ink.
Hold on.
That's not true.
Actually, it's partially true.
You could take your silly putty and you could wash it.
Damn it.
My parents never told me that.
And hot water.
No.
Yeah.
I don't think that's true.
I did it all the time.
That's fake news.
You do it all the time.
I did it all the time.
I lived in Connecticut with my grandfather.
That was one of the things I would do.
You thought it worked.
Adding that kind of background does not make it true.
I'm just trying to paint the fabric.
I'm living in New Jersey with my two sisters and my uncle.
I wasn't living there.
That's a true story.
Yeah.
I was a shark.
Name Joe Pesci.
This is a point I was coming back to earlier.
If you're going to run a putty.
Check out my silly putty.
I'm going to bounce this off.
That was the one thing that they didn't say about silly putty.
Not only can you pull the surface off of a comic strip,
but you can wad it in a ball and bounce it.
It's a bouncy ball.
Yeah, we should throw it across the room.
Tight enough.
Well, we've got to put it in a ball.
Yeah.
No, super tight.
It was tight.
Super tight.
That was what the hot water was for.
I'm still coming back to the point
I'm trying to make to any of our listeners that
want to do a podcast.
If you want any credibility, don't drink Wild Turkey 101.
Are you trying to say that a silly putty isn't cleanable?
I think we're losing everybody because they can tell that we're
freaking blind.
You can clean the silly putty if you use hot water and soap.
Fact check.
I disagree.
What is silly putty made out of?
All right.
Is it to do with?
Mr. Producer, I never would have imagined in a million years
I would ask you to do this.
But can you look up cleaning?
There it is.
Cleaning silly putty.
Scrape off as much putty.
Use ice cubes.
Ice cubes.
Yeah, that's not what you said.
You said hot water and dawn.
Well, hold on.
What are you cleaning it for?
And palm olive.
No, it was palm soap.
Palm olive.
Yeah, but for what?
That's a whole different use for him.
Vinegar?
Dip your fingers in.
Put your silly putty aside.
Hold on.
We need to be specific.
How do you clean silly putty from ink?
Dip your fingers in palm olive.
Put your silly putty aside.
They would dip their fingers in it.
And slowly lower your trousers.
It's not only good for the dishes.
It's good for the nails.
They would dip their fingers and soak it in the soap.
And watch your favorite cartoon.
Hercules.
Shake back.
Good god.
It wouldn't be my favorite.
By the power of a gray skull.
You sick bastards.
See, this is what happens.
Is it on there?
Is it?
Hold on.
It's like an ibuprofen alcohol.
It requires alcohol and hydrochloric acid.
No, it's the same.
You had neither of those in New Jersey
with your alcoholic uncle.
Or whatever story you had.
He had wild turkey.
Whatever your story was, I don't remember.
I was in New Jersey.
I was in New Jersey with my grandmother.
We were watching.
And we cleaned up silly putty every day.
We cleaned it with beer.
Yeah, we cleaned it with beer.
And bourbon and gin.
You cock suckers.
I would go to my grandparents' house.
Vermouth?
Vermouth.
Oh, time out.
That is an old school right there.
Yeah, that's like 50% alcohol.
Yeah, we cleaned our silly putty with vermouth.
OK, we lost everybody.
Let's just end this early.
Fucking wild turkey.
Malacalic mi gaca is the thing to say.
All right, Paul, you had a topic you wanted to get to.
Paul had a topic he wanted to cover.
Did I?
Yes, you did.
Are we going back to the whether or not
we cut off actors because we don't agree with them?
Well, no, Sean said you had a topic
you wanted to cover in the second half.
I don't know.
Well, you were talking about Paul or Stewart, Patrick Stewart.
And you were talking about how he was.
Well, it's back to the same thing.
Should we cut off all the people that we
loved, all these TV shows and things that we read or whatever?
Should we shut them off because now we no longer
agree with their political beliefs?
Here's another one.
Boycotting.
Let's talk about boycotting.
That doesn't work.
It doesn't, right?
Did you see the headlines with Goya?
Yeah, brilliant.
They were going to say, employee of the month.
1,000%.
Their sales went up 1,000%.
That's what the CEO said.
1,000%.
And he named AOC employee of the month.
He did.
He should have employed it the fucking year, man.
Brilliant.
That was brilliant.
OK, anyway, boycotting.
Oh my god.
I wonder if he's going to send her something.
He needs to.
If he has it, he needs to do it.
Just a huge cock.
And here's the awesome part about it.
Guys, here's the irony of the whole thing.
Goya.
Bass balls.
Goya is a massive philanthropist to the Hispanic community.
For the Latinos, yes.
Huge.
And she is Latina.
Supposedly.
Right.
So that company is giving back to her peeps
in a major, major way.
It goes, yes.
Major way.
Yeah.
And how can she?
Well, the reason why is because she's like,
it's because of Trump.
It doesn't matter.
Doesn't fit the narrative.
Because her followers are like, yeah, stupid.
Trump is bad.
And Goya guy like Trump.
So he's evil.
Random question of the day.
Which of the followers is not a reason
that independent agencies exist outside of the cabinet
departments?
Cabinet departments.
What is not?
OK, a little context.
So our producer is struggling to get through high school.
Should we say that?
Why not?
We're taking an online test.
Yeah, we're taking an online test.
Our producer is challenging us for our knowledge of film.
There you go.
OK.
And one of the questions is, the bureaucracy,
which of the following is not a reason
that independent agencies exist outside of cabinet departments?
A, the Constitution specifically provided
for the independent existence of some agencies.
I'd like to phone a friend.
What?
I'd like to phone a friend.
Well, I'm not done yet.
B, Congress seeks to protect certain agencies
from the influence of partisan and pressure politics.
I'd like to remove 50% of them.
OK.
C, some independent agencies just,
god, my eyes are failing me, just do not
fit within any department.
That's a stupid answer.
Well, we have another person that's sitting like 10 feet
closer.
Maybe he should take over.
D, no, I'm not done.
I'm going to finish this.
You're hearing impaired, not sight impaired.
Come on.
It's actually both.
And mentally impaired.
Some agencies are independent because
of the peculiar and sensitive.
OK, I'm not even going to finish.
All right, so which is not a reason?
Nature of their taints.
Oh, wow.
Cabinet departments, independent agencies.
I don't know this one.
OK, which of the following is not a reason
that independent agencies exist outside of cabinet departments?
Which of the following is not a reason?
So why do they not exist outside of the cabinet departments?
The Constitution specifically provided
for the independent existence of some agencies.
I'm going with B. Congress seeks to protect certain agencies
from the influence of partisan and pressure politics.
That is why it is not a reason.
Well, but then you got three.
Some independent agencies just do not fit with any department.
Which is not true.
Do we know the answer?
Which is not true.
Some agencies are independent because of the peculiar
and sensitive.
So I'm going to have to go with B as well.
Can we do an easier one?
Let's do B.
You concur?
No, I don't, because that is not a reason.
Which one?
Which of the following is not a reason Congress seeks to protect?
Everything is influenced by partisan and pressure politics.
Then it would be the number three.
Some independent agencies do not fit with any department.
That's not true.
Well, hold on.
It is not the reason that independent agencies.
So what are those independent agencies?
What are those?
What are independent agencies?
Outside of the cabinet.
Go back.
I think I just figured it out.
They would be like the Environmental Protection
Agency.
The EPA.
It was A.
The FDA.
Energy Department.
It was A.
The FDA, right?
The Constitution does not specifically
provide for the independent existence of some agencies.
It doesn't.
That's A. Think about the rest of them.
The rest of them are bullshit.
Bullshit.
But wouldn't that be a reason?
It's not a reason.
The Constitution specifically provided
for the independent existence.
That's not a reason.
It's not a reason.
The Constitution does not.
That's it.
We nailed it.
All right.
Here we go.
The bureaucracy.
Which of the following is not one of the principles
upon which all bureaucracies are organized?
Not.
Former rules.
Patronage.
Job specialization.
Hierarchical authority.
Yeah.
I'm thinking patronage.
Hierarchical.
Well, hierarchy is because there are so many freaking levels.
That's what makes a bureaucracy.
There are so many levels you've got to go through.
I'm thinking it's patronage.
But can I help get a little lifeline on patronage?
Take it to definition, please.
Yeah.
So which of the following is not one of the principles?
I think it's patronage.
But I don't know what patronage is.
Patronage is like support given by a patron, right?
The power to control appointments to office
or to write to the religious.
The arts could no longer depend on private patronage.
It's support.
So you're giving your money or your support to something.
So which of the following is not one of the principles?
Patronage.
Every single bureaucracy is built on form of rules,
job specialization, and hierarchical authority.
All right.
So let's ask another question.
OK, go.
What do we?
So in the forms of bread baskets,
are we looking for like the cheddar biscuit?
Or are we looking for like the Olive Garden bread sticks?
Red lobster cheddar roll?
I love the Olive Garden breadsticks.
Why are we asking about bread?
I'm just saying, if we're going to be posing questions,
why not ask the questions?
I'm all in on Olive Garden.
For all real stuff.
Is it the Olive Garden breadsticks or the cheddar?
Red lobster.
Yeah, well, I like the red lobster.
Fucking the biscuits?
I'm not saying it's bad.
Cheddar biscuits.
I'm just saying.
I'm good.
We got beer.
So you would rather go to Olive Garden?
Someone's brother parked over there.
You'd rather go to Olive Garden and get the breadsticks
rather than the cheddar biscuits?
I'd rather go.
I'd like the Olive Garden breadsticks and salad.
But what would you rather do?
It's dinner time, right?
You're with your wife or your friend or whatever.
Olive Garden.
Olive Garden breadsticks or red lobster cheddar biscuits.
There was a time in my life where I did go.
I actually worked at Olive Garden.
I worked at Olive Garden.
When I lived in El Paso, Texas.
Oh, is that when you put a cherry in that drug dealer's
drink?
No, that was not.
That was Pablo Escobar at Olive Garden.
Texas nightclub on 600 North Zaragoza Street.
Why do you have to say it like that?
That's how you say it.
I know, but it's just how you think you got the job.
600 North Zaragoza.
If you just said it like some random white guy,
they'd be like, Sean Crooth.
If you say like, hey, 600 North Zaragoza Street
in Del Paso, Texas, that son of a bitch
is not going to get the job.
But if you say it's 600 North Zaragoza,
that sounds a little bit different.
Zaragoza or Zaragoza?
Can we get back to the tongue action over here?
All right.
Where we at?
What was that?
Mr. Producer.
What happened?
No.
I want to know why Jeff started licking his tongue.
And the answer is no.
Well, he was thinking about those biscuits.
Because when I was working at Olive Garden,
I worked at Olive Garden.
I had the freshest breadsticks that came out of the oven.
Oh, the freshest ones.
They would salt them.
They would butter them.
And I'll tell you what.
Back in the 90s, they had a different mixture
of toppings on the breadsticks.
I think nowadays, they're different.
You are very talented.
And then he'd spit on it to give it a little lube.
Oh, nice.
OK.
That's why I prefer the cheddar biscuits.
Can I have the pretzels?
I want the chode biscuit, please.
I'll have the red lobster chode biscuit, please, with cheddar.
I'm out.
Yeah, I do like the.
I think we need a motor.
Can I have the sausage infused?
Wow.
Can I say wow?
We kind of lost our train of thoughts there.
We're talking about bread baskets here.
Well, that's what I was thinking.
That was the question we're posing.
Would you prefer the breadsticks from Olive Garden?
Or would you prefer the red lobster cheddar biscuits?
I thought we were at Olive Garden.
We've already said this.
Well, no, actually.
Actually, the breadsticks, the Olive Garden breadsticks dipped
in the bottom of their salad is freaking amazing.
Can I open up another can of oh my god?
You take those breadsticks and you.
And you caster them.
You sump.
You shove them up your.
And shove them up your.
You sump those breadsticks up with some Alfredo sauce
that they have.
Oh.
Those are no carb.
Well, hold on.
We weren't talking from the perspective of eating health.
Seriously?
You may have pine nuts.
You have to go.
Pine nuts?
I happen to be allergic to those.
There's no pine nuts in Alfredo sauce.
What the fuck?
What an asshole.
Breadsticks.
Who fucking ruined his dream anyway?
It's made out of almond flour.
Dick.
Good god.
OK.
Almond flour is a new millennial type of bullshit.
It's kind of like almond milk.
It's like, oh, turn off.
Almond milk is good.
Yeah, but there's no such thing.
It's not milk.
It's nut juice.
OK, well, yeah.
So that's a thing.
It's nut shmeg.
So the dairy industry is very upset
that almond milk makers or almond excretion makers
are calling their stuff milk.
We already had this conversation.
I know.
But by the way, I'm going to sell butloos milk.
All of my morning shakes, 100% almond milk.
100%.
It's not milk.
It is.
They call it milk.
It's on the carton.
It's not.
It's got way.
I tell you, it's on the carton.
Compare the amount of sugar.
Did it come out of a nipple?
Look at the definition of milk.
Did it come out of a teat?
There is no definition.
It doesn't have to come out of a pepperoni.
A teat.
What?
Pepperoni.
An udder.
Milk comes from a teat of some sort.
Milk comes from a living being.
A human teat?
A human being.
An opaque white fluid rich in fat and proteins
secreted by female mammals.
Oh.
So does urine.
So the almond industry is like, oh, yeah, they're blowing it.
Almonds are not female mammals.
No, they're not.
No.
I mean, I need to verify that.
Although I tell you what.
Hold on.
I need to verify that.
But I don't think almond nuts are female mammals.
But is that genderizing?
Men can be women.
Can nuts be cows?
They identify as female.
Can nuts be cows?
Transalmonds.
Transgender almonds.
My almonds identify as female.
It's not even transgender.
It's trans species.
The only almonds I eat and drink.
Here's the thing about the almond milk.
Is that the almond milk has a lot more sugar than the average
milk does.
Yes.
They add a lot of different stuff in there to make it
No, they do not.
Yes, they do.
Almond?
They do.
Almond milk.
Yes.
No.
Silk.
The ones I buy are unsweetened.
They're unsweetened from what?
They're worse for you.
They're not good.
I mean, by the time.
Just like we tell Sean not to eat a pound of nuts,
you drink a gallon of nut juice.
Yeah.
Almond?
It's not even nut juice.
The unsweetened almond milk is very good for you.
They take a solution and they bounce it off the nut
because there's nothing a nut can provide.
What are they going to grind it up into a powder
and make it a nut aid?
I don't know.
But they express some sort of liquid from the almond.
Yes.
They squeeze it while it screams bloody murder.
And it rips out.
They grind it into a powder.
They might as well call it a nut aid.
It's a nut aid.
Here we go.
Almond milk isn't milk from almonds.
It's just milk flavored with almonds.
This is accomplished by force feeding.
Almonds to any mammal before milking them.
This is bullshit.
Who the hell did get this?
That's good.
Almond milk isn't milk from almonds.
Force feeding almonds to any mammal before milking them.
Oh, shut the hell up.
That's funny.
You're fooling yourself.
No.
That's a typical Google response.
I knew immediately it was fake.
Like oat milk.
OK.
That doesn't exist either.
That's wheat juice.
Find out really what.
It's almond aid.
It's cool aid.
Here we go.
How is almond make milk?
You're doing a YouTube.
That's too much.
Is it?
No.
No, well, we need to do a little YouTube action work.
Go back.
Yeah, we can do it.
Yeah, do a YouTube.
At this point, we've lost everything.
No, we haven't.
Simultaneously.
We turn it up.
This is a quality program.
Nice three piece.
Look at that kerchief.
That's nice.
Triple.
He's quadruple.
He's got a big crown.
There's a lot of lactose intolerant folks out there,
but also more people are people who are more sensitive.
Are there really a lot of lactose intolerant people?
Look at that vegan.
Oh, that's a veganism.
It's vagina-ism.
Wow.
What?
So we take our almond and organic almond.
See, they blend the shit out of it and add water.
Yeah, that's it.
It's nut aid.
It's like Tang.
There you go.
What?
OK, hold on.
One cup nuts, three cups.
There we go.
Nut aid.
And they grind it up.
What's the difference between Sean eating the pound of nuts
and you eating, drinking nut juice?
Yeah.
Coolness.
Your hip, that's it.
I don't know.
I don't know how to answer that.
Well, it's because you're wrong, you son of a bitch.
Because it's ground up nuts and water.
What are you saying?
It's unhealthy?
Possibly.
Is milk unhealthy?
Yes.
How?
Well, depending on.
Because it's from a cow.
Nope.
No.
Depending on the fat.
There's no fat.
There's fat, but it's not like cow fat.
But there's not fat.
There is not fat.
So eating a bunch of nuts is unhealthy,
what we told Sean.
What's the difference?
But there is 30 calories for a half a cup of almond milk.
But if you ate a bunch of almonds, is that unhealthy?
No.
Come on.
A bunch?
A whole bunch?
Yeah.
Well, how much almonds does it take to make a cup of almond
juice?
What are on those almonds that you're eating?
Look up the ingredient list of an almond milk.
Sugar.
Well, first off, I drink unsweetened almond milk.
Well, that means that by the time they have it,
it's unsweetened.
But it gets sweetened by the time they get it.
What does that mean?
Ingredients of almond milk.
I want to see the actual.
There we go.
I want to see the actual picture.
And you know what?
You could probably go to Amazon.
Amazon's awesome about that.
Oh, there it is.
On the far left.
There we go.
All right, now keep in mind, you've
got to make sure that it is not sweetened almond milk.
Tapioca.
Carrageenan.
Yeah, that's all good stuff.
Lekithin.
Yeah, that's healthy.
Palmit.
Oh, that's really healthy.
No, palmitate, I'm sorry.
I take that every day, actually.
And tocopherol.
Well, you're saying it wrong.
It's tocopherol.
What they call as natural vitamin E.
Why don't you just call it natural vitamin E?
Yeah, because the other stuff is not natural.
It's a facial.
The other stuff is artificial facial.
So it says ingredients, almond milk.
Yes.
What the fuck is that?
It's filtered water, almonds, and almonds.
There you go.
So it's ground up almonds.
Yes.
So just fucking eat an almond.
No.
You know why?
Hold on.
So if I take a pound of almonds and dump it
in my morning shake in my blender, it probably has.
You tell me how that goes.
All right, I'll tell you what.
You know how it goes?
It doesn't have all that other bullshit.
There's not a bunch of bullshit in there.
There is a bunch of additives in there.
No.
No, there isn't.
So if you look up the ingredients,
it's like a traditional almond breeze.
They put tapioca in it.
Look up the ingredients of cow milk.
Who loves tapioca?
What?
What is the ingredients of cow milk?
Go, Mr. Producer.
Milk.
Well, I would assume some sort of hormones that
Exactly.
What's the ingredients?
Mostly it's vitamin D, four to five.
Oh, no.
Not raspberry.
There we go.
Raspberry layer.
Corn syrup, sugar.
See?
Look at that shit they give to cows.
Calcium carbonate, tapioca starch, sea salt, potassium
citrate, carrage, and sunflower lichen.
You lost your argument.
And toko furo.
I win again.
Dude, no.
They got to add all that extra bullshit in order
for you to get the nutrients you're wanting.
Dude, just stop the madness.
I think I'm right.
The only people that soy milk helps, or oat milk,
or almond milk are the fucking libs that think they're doing
but they're not.
It's ignorance is what it is.
For you and most folks, it has no benefit.
None.
I feel like I'm being bullied right now.
You are.
First off, you guys are full of shit.
No.
Yeah, you are.
So you're overpaying for almond juice to make you feel good.
It's actually cheaper than milk.
Milk, milk.
But that's nuts.
I pay $0.99 a gallon.
Do you?
Yes.
From your own really cow milking farm.
I've got my cow in the backyard.
I'll show you my cow.
I pay $2 a gallon.
I go home, I just suck on this teat.
I thought a second ago it was $0.99 a gallon.
When it's on sale, it's $0.99 a gallon.
Normally $2 a gallon.
From Aldi's?
No, from Kroger.
Actually, I'm cutting milk out of my diet.
Good for you.
Why?
Because it does.
Honestly, the only reason that we buy milk
is to put it in my coffee.
Right.
You know what you should do?
Put almond milk instead.
Fuck the almond milk.
We have negative eight minutes.
That means our listeners are getting eight bonus minutes.
And it's likely going to be another 30,
another extra 30 bonus minutes.
So look at oat milk.
No.
You know what?
OK, we need more research on this.
This is what Shelly said.
So we're driving.
Oh, loose.
Oh, yeah.
We're driving on the highway, listening to this in the car.
And she's like, oh my god, it's going to be awful.
And so we're talking about stuff.
And she's laughing and giggling along with the podcast.
And she goes, and we're talking about certain topics.
And she's like, you know what?
You guys should really research stuff so that you
know what you're talking about.
Well, maybe what we do, it just disagrees with what they know.
She totally did.
She totally called all of us out.
Before you take on a topic, you should probably
know what you're talking about.
We think we know.
Yeah, we don't.
None of us have any freaking clue.
But we think we do.
No, we don't.
I know.
But we do.
All right, look, here's the thing.
What?
Almond milk?
Yes.
I'm not an expert at it.
I know this.
The poll is.
But based on-
I'm not saying that either.
Based on-
You know the only thing I do know?
I know that Wild Turkey 101 makes me feel kind of weird.
Well, we drank over half a bottle.
Yeah, we did.
You drank.
No, that'd be you.
That'd be Sean.
Oh, that'd be you.
That was definitely Joe.
That'd be you.
My dog or their man drinking.
She farting?
Yeah, we lost her.
No, she's out.
She's out.
She's gone.
She farts like a bargain.
OK, I think they probably had enough.
So let's change subjects really quick,
because this is the sign of the time.
I want to chat about politics, punch this in, and punch it out.
All right, so we chatted about this for a second.
And I just want to firm up the details on what's going on.
OK.
All right, continue.
Texas is cool.
Is the, I didn't know this, but Paul
had mentioned that eight other states had joined.
When did this happen?
Today.
Which other states joined?
I don't know.
Montana?
It might be.
Could be Maine.
Saskatchewan.
I doubt it.
Idaho and Hawaii.
Manitoba.
Those are powerhouses.
They're powerhouses and Frederico.
So this is a positive thing for those Trumpians out there.
Guam.
Would it be fair to say?
Hey, guys, Guam is all in.
Oh my god.
Melickalikmi kakas the thing to say on a bright Hawaii Christmas
Day.
All right, anyway, go ahead, Sean, on your thought.
That's the island greeting fucking send to do.
That's really it.
I just want to.
Really?
How anticlimactic to end this shit.
Well, here's the thing.
All they learned is that Guam is all in.
We have been waiting week after week after week.
Show me the beef.
We're not getting shit, by the way.
And we're not.
I haven't seen any beef.
This is the first time I've seen something that resembles beef.
And you know what sucks?
There's been tons of beef.
It's almost beef.
No, there's tons of beef.
But there's not enough beef to overcome the deep state.
This may be the only thing.
But if the Supreme Court says we're not
going to take the case, it means.
Do we think that's going to happen, though?
I do.
I do, because I think the Supreme Court is a bunch of cowards.
I think they can't risk.
I think John Roberts is a coward.
I think they can't risk tearing this country apart.
They can't rip this country apart, because it will.
I think it's already torn apart.
It will plunge this country into chaos
by allowing millions of votes to not be counted.
And so they think they can't risk that,
and they're going to kind of gloss over it.
But are they valid votes?
They're not.
Then why count them?
Because they're cowards.
So American Idol probably has better voting than we frickin'
did on this election.
Even that spam voting.
Yes, even the people that mask their VPs.
So Simon Cowell has a better grasp
on voting than our government.
And here's the tragedy of the whole thing.
And this is what, by principle, what people are hanging on to.
If this country starts to not trust the election,
they already don't.
I know.
And if they start to not vote because of it,
this will become Venezuela.
That's exactly how it happened.
People stopped voting because they knew it was bullshit.
And when you stop voting, the only people that do vote
are the people that want what the centralized government
wants.
Well, here's my two cents.
People will stop voting because they know it's bullshit.
I think what needs to happen.
And then we're fucked.
Is what's happened over the last four, eight, 12 years,
however long it's been, is the Democratic Party
has controlled the voting apparatus.
And they have their personnel in place to control it.
This was bullshit.
This was a coordinated 100% coordination.
The video of the woman, Ruby and her daughter.
Here's the crazy.
Coordinated across multiple states.
The night of the election, when they
stopped counting in six states that were all swing states,
all at once, swing states.
And they realized they were losing.
It was coordinated.
They said, at this point, if we're losing, this is what we do.
We shut down.
And then we start producing the extra ballots.
And that was the contingency plan across states,
across states.
Guys, I'm telling you, this is crazy.
Well, that's what I mean.
I mean, how?
So how can the Supreme Court not look at that as a problem?
And how can they?
Look, if it's the truth, then why should we?
Because they're cowards.
But see.
100%.
Hodge cowards.
Yeah, but who is the coward?
All of them.
They're going to talk about it.
What about the new ones we have?
They're going to talk about it.
And they're going to go, where does this go?
Oh, this is a contended presidential election,
the first time in 240 years, where we upend the whole thing.
We discount a bunch of votes.
And then even though one person has already been declared
the president-elect, it now it now.
He hasn't been declared.
He has not.
But he has.
No, he's not.
By Fox and CNN, they have not.
I understand that.
But for all practical purposes.
By who?
I'm just saying, he has been declared the president-elect.
By who?
It's already been certified by Georgia.
It's been certified by Pennsylvania.
It's been certified, certified.
The Trump administration is trying to reverse
the certification.
It's been certified.
But not.
He is the official president-elect.
And so now you're asking the Supreme Court
to say, those votes didn't count.
We're literally reversing the decision of the president.
I don't understand how you're saying
he's the president-elect.
He hasn't been certified by who?
He's been certified by.
He's only certified if the electoral votes are cast.
Well, he's been certified by the states
that are going to send their electors to Washington, DC.
No, the votes have been certified.
He has not been certified.
But the votes have been certified.
It's kind of like the pre-ejaculate.
It's not based off of votes.
It's based off of the electoral college.
I get it.
But OK.
OK, but the electoral, what do they call them?
The delegates for the electoral college
are supposed to follow whatever that state told them to do.
Correct.
And those states have certified the election for Biden.
So in theory, those electors are, I don't know if it's by law,
I think it's by virtue.
I think they can vote however they want.
They can.
And it's happened in history.
Like, there's been an elector that said, yeah,
I don't give a shit what my state said.
I'm voting the opposite.
That has happened.
But that's not the way it's supposed to be.
It's supposed to be that elector listens
that the state legislator certifies it.
But these six states aren't supposed to change their voting
rules either.
They're not.
So they've already broken the rules.
That's what I mean.
I don't disagree.
I'm just telling you that I think the Supreme Court is
going to go is to, I can't touch this.
You may be right.
I think they're going to be cowards.
I think they're going to be cowards and go,
this is something we don't even want to go there.
So my question is.
Though they probably acknowledge that this whole thing was
a fucking sham, bullshit, fraudulent election.
How do you fix that, though?
If they even come back and say, yeah, we're
not going to hear it, how do you fix it for the next one?
OK, there could be hearings that go on
for months and months and years.
And there could be recommendations and legislation
to fix the Dominion bullshit voting machine.
Let's say they shut it down.
Bottom line is, I think there's no turning back.
I think at this point.
Let's say they shut it down.
At this point, I believe that fraudulent elections
are the thing.
What if Trump says, no, fuck you?
Are going to be the regular thing from now on.
This isn't what happened.
Well, the military could pull him out of there.
No.
Well, yeah, then we're a banana republic.
And the military decides who's in power.
So.
And that's not going to happen.
You know, again, if this comes down to where they go, OK,
Biden is certified, I accept it, whatever.
I don't like it, whatever.
Yeah, well, he's going to die in office, guys.
He's not going to make it four years.
I honestly don't believe that.
No, he won't.
He won't.
I seriously don't.
When I see him on TV, I'm thinking.
The stress will get him.
There's no way he finishes his term.
I think he looks awful.
You see how much it aged Bush and how much it aged Obama.
And they were in their late 40s.
And this guy is 30 years more than that.
I don't think he finishes his term.
He looks awful.
He sounds awful.
He acts awful.
He doesn't finish his term.
He can't even play with his dog.
I know.
Which, by the way, he's no longer wearing a boot.
And he apparently broke multiple bones in his foot
and no longer wearing a boot.
Is that because it looks a bad look?
That was because that's not why he fell down.
What?
It's all a bullshit sham.
If he broke his foot, honestly broke his foot,
he would be wearing that boot for at least two weeks.
What are you insinuating?
He didn't even wear it for a week.
You think it was a sympathy thing?
Yeah, he fell down because he's an old man that fell.
Yeah.
Like our parents fall and break their hip.
He fell down getting out of the shower is what happened.
Well, who cares?
If he's not wearing the boot, then he
didn't really hurt himself.
Right, that's the point.
They said he broke multiple bones in his foot
because he was chasing the dog.
And he had a boot.
And he didn't wear the boot for even a week.
So already doctors are saying, well,
then you didn't break your foot.
Because as an adult person, your bones don't heal.
So why did you fall?
Like, did you break your foot?
Or did you not fall?
Or did you fall?
Already, already there's guys, I'm telling you,
he's not going to finish his term.
All right, well, we can wrap this up for the night.
We can continue this after the show.
OK.
But I think we need to wrap it up for the evening.
It is?
We are, by the way, 999 quadrillion minutes over.
Wow.
Yeah, that's a lot.
Hold on.
It's trillion.
Negative 999 trillion.
Is that trillion?
999,999,999.
Yeah, it's trillion.
So almost a quadrillion.
Damn, that's a lot of minutes.
That's almost our national debt.
Well, yeah, I'm a little under.
So how old would you be?
You underbid, Mr. Producer.
In fact, it is actually 27 trillion.
It'd be a crystal all the way down there.
I think down.
No, it is 27 trillion.
All right.
When you count state debt, it's over 300 trillion.
Yeah, we don't talk about that.
Good night, guys.
California loanless.
Melekeleke makta is the thing to say.
Down on a bright wine Christmas day.
All right.
Actually, you know what?
Let's finish on that song.
Play the Bing Cosby.
It's Christmas time, and we ended on a down note.
We are not going to end on a down note.
We're going to turn the Bing Cosby.
You turned it into a down note.
I was thinking more positive.
The Supreme Court was going to say, yes, we need to find out.
Let's get down to the bottom of this.
Well, that's what I said.
And I said the Supreme Court are a bunch of patriots.
They're going to save this country.
Well, that's what I'm saying.
That they're patriots.
But you were insinuating they're going
to be a bunch of cowards.
They're a bunch of patriots playing the song now.
OK, three, two, one.
Doo, doo, doo, doo, doo.
Louder.
There it is.
America.
I like white Christmas better.
America, Merry Christmas.
We are leading up to the birth of our Lord and Savior.
There you go.
And we are very thankful for our families getting together
during this COVID time.
If they can.
That's the key.
And we're going to cherish every moment that we have
with our friends and our families.
And we're going to cherish the good food we eat.
We're going to cherish the spiritual nourishment we get.
Spiritual.
We're going to cherish the bourbon that we drink.
We're going to cherish all the moments that we possibly can,
because that's what life's all about, ladies and gentlemen.
It's about being intentional about the things that
are important in your life.
So with that, I say adieu.
Adios, mofo.
And to all the Somalians out there.
What the hell, man?
Sumerians.
To all the Sumerians.
God damn.
And also a shout out to all the Slovakians.
Slovakians.
We were talking shit about something.
We said earlier.
We didn't mean anything about that.
The Wonder Twins.
No, I always said that, because it was a Slovakian,
or we said Slovuland, or what did we say?
It's Slovakia.
Yeah, you said Slovakia.
Why did we say that?
We didn't mean to disrespect that.
We love Slovakia.
We're just fucking around.
Slovakia is like, we're the great.
I don't love them.
No, I do.
I think they're one of the greatest Baltic states we have.
They made the Ugo.
I have no idea.
Is that a Baltic state?
Slovakia?
Ugo?
Are you serious?
I think we need to tune out here.
Yeah, tune out.
That was supposed to be how we fade out,
and people don't hear the answer to that.
So turn that back up.
Turn that back up, and then we go.
All right, guys.
We'll see you next week.
Good night.
We will.
Hey, baby, baby, baby.
Good night, America.