Are we rolling?
There we go.
All right.
Oh, look at this.
My carrot has a weed whacker.
Whoa.
That's like a rabbit dildo.
That's disturbing.
That's a rabbit dildo.
It hits both.
It sure is.
That is nice.
There we go.
I knew he was going to do that.
I noticed how you looked away.
Thank you, Paul.
He looked away like he couldn't stomach it.
Paul was, Paul bought the veggies.
He bought a compilation of tomatoes, carrots and grapes.
You know what?
We established on a previous show that we're not eating healthy.
We're not eating healthy.
And we're not being healthy in general.
And we are extremely fat.
So, I figured the last thing we should be doing?
Yeah, we're extremely fat.
Yeah, the last thing we should be doing is eating shitty snacks.
What are you doing at Christmastime?
I love this Christmas song.
Turn it up a second.
I think we need someone else to choose the music.
We had Cheetah Chong last week.
He's over two.
Now this.
It's Christmas season.
This is not a Christmas song.
Now, I'm on board with Christmas music.
Just your choices just happened.
Christmas music just your choices just have been questionable.
Hold on.
I like burl-eyes.
You hear sleigh bells?
I like the carpenter.
Christmas vacation.
Christmas.
It's exciting.
It is.
Makes me think of the...
Griswold.
Makes me think of the pool.
Smurf.
And remember the pool incident where she's in her bathing suit?
That's in the original vacation.
Yeah, the original.
Yeah, but this is Christmas vacation.
No it isn't.
No it's not.
It's the one where he wants to pool and he's daydreaming out the window.
Yeah.
And the girl from...
What's that show?
What's the...
Something...
It was the same girl that was in the first show.
Christie Brinkley?
Yeah.
No.
She boobed it out?
Negative.
Oh no it was not.
No.
Fast Times to Richmine High girl.
It was the girl from the St. Patrick's poster girl.
What was her freaking name?
Did Phoebe Cates?
You mean St. Patrick's?
You mean Stan Elmore's?
No.
Oh.
She was so hot in the day though.
Who?
Demi Moore?
Have you ever seen About Last Night?
That's who Demi Moore was.
No.
About Last Night she is...
Full nude.
Wow.
Hold on.
Time out.
That's your criteria for if she's hot or not?
I mean only if she goes full nude in a movie.
Yes.
Wow.
That rules out a lot of women.
Well you never know otherwise.
I think you can kind of gauge it.
Some people look from the neck up.
Gauge it.
Yeah.
The neck up generally kind of defines how hot they are.
And then there's a body aspect.
So I know the Beverly D'Angelo...
Look it up.
See we're already going wheels off here.
Alright so the girl coming out of the pool I guarantee is from Fast Times at Ridgemount High or something like that.
That's Phoebe Cates.
I think it's Phoebe Cates.
Look it up.
I'm looking.
I got it right here.
It was Phoebe Cates.
Oh well just look up girl Christmas vacation girl pool.
And boom.
She's right here.
Who is it?
Oh we don't know who that is.
It's kind of a nondescript girl.
Let me see.
It's not saying what her name is.
Let me see the picture.
Oh there it is.
I can't see the picture.
Why is it not on the TV screen?
What's the producer doing?
Okay yeah.
Oh that's the one in the model.
That's who he was.
That was what it was.
Yes.
No yeah that's not...
She was the lady that was at the department store that she's trying on the bikini.
You want me to try this on?
Yes.
Let's get a little nipley in here.
What did I say?
Right and then he is projecting that.
Oh but his face in the window was hilarious.
Yeah he was funny back in the day.
Oh he really was.
But my point is is that when that song came on.
Do do do do do do do do do do.
And he's looking out the window.
That's it.
So he's a little I guess he's a little aroused.
And what had happened was the uncle's his brother-in-law's daughter was behind him.
His knees.
Yeah and so he's just like she makes a Santa.
She thought he was Santa because he's in his little red outfit.
He turns around and he had to cover up his...
He's all flustered.
He had to cover himself up because he thought he was projecting.
That movie's great.
It's been a long time since I've seen it.
It's been a while since I've seen any of the vacation.
I know they have a bunch of them.
They had Euro vacation.
I actually I actually think Christmas vacation may be maybe the best one.
It may be better than the original.
It's good.
Yeah but I think it yeah I think it's better than Wally World.
Yeah it's good.
I really do.
Wally World was good.
It was good.
Isn't that where the brother-in-law comes up and hooks up his RV to the house.
No that's Christmas.
That's Christmas vacation.
That's what I mean Christmas vacation.
Oh it's great.
That's what he looks like today that Randy Quaid.
Randy Quaid.
Yeah.
That's right.
He doesn't look good.
No.
I mean all these people are probably aging poorly.
Well he is.
Pull up a picture of Randy Quaid.
He looks like homeless.
Look at him.
Yeah well he is so funny in that movie.
Yeah.
But he's loaded.
He doesn't give a shit.
Well he got in trouble here in Texas I think him and his wife.
But he's a he's a big Trump supporter.
Good.
Yeah good for him.
So yeah he's well bearded.
And.
Sure enough.
I would have thought that was for like a role movie role.
But you're saying that's the way he looks in real life today.
Yeah.
Well he can make a.
I'll tell you man if you can grow a fantastic beard you could pull off Santa.
Do you know how much those dudes make.
I can't.
I can't do grow a beard like that.
But you hear the latest on the scent the mall Santa that some little kid asked for a nerf gun for Christmas.
Oh did he get reported.
No the Santa told him no and the kids started bawling.
Apparently they got the whole thing on video and now they're tearing up the Santa.
Where's this at.
I don't know.
You can Google it.
It's been in the news like the last two days.
Nerf.
Does boys matter.
Yeah he wanted a nerf gun and he was like no you can't have a nerf gun.
If you're in that role you just say yes.
He's like seven years old.
All right.
Let's pump the brakes here.
It's it's December 8th.
You're looking at what they do.
Dudes like us.
Another edition.
It's our first week into December and we've got some bad news.
Paul's going to share with us later.
A little later.
And Paul brought some snacks that we were chatting about and we were talking about the National Lampoon Christmas.
Well you need to discuss the bourbon we're drinking.
So yes well Jeff had brought this up a couple of times you know and they were like yeah we need to get that we need to get that.
But you know what.
When we get over to the liquor store we always forget.
And so this time we had made a point.
Now we're going to get wild turkey the one on one the classic stuff that classic.
Let's do some.
Let's do some turkey shots you know because it's strong it's one hundred one proof.
It is.
Well it's the college whiskey right.
It's the college.
Yeah it's the go to.
Oh look at you.
You're drinking one on one.
But I remember when I did this in college hated it.
Couldn't handle it.
Scratchy throat.
I thought it was the worst thing I've ever done.
And I enjoy it now.
It tastes good.
Well I actually drank it in college and then I stumbled on the wild turkey 80 proof right.
Which is the same as all the other vermin's that you buy.
It's just watered down.
Yeah it's just watered down.
Because I literally went to the wild turkey distillery and I asked him what's the difference between one on one and 80.
And they said they basically diluted with water as it's coming in like being brought out.
Right.
And I tell you what I enjoyed.
I enjoyed it.
I like it.
80 proof.
I mean it's been 30 years since I had wild turkey.
And now that I've gotten the taste for bourbon it's good.
It is good.
Well it says right on there.
Hi.
Right.
Aged longer.
Wild turkey 101.
Aged longer than what.
Well that's what it says on the little cap here.
I didn't know what to say.
Wild turkey.
And then the new Pabst blue bourbon.
It's aged longer than that.
You know when I went to the distillery it was interesting because it was one of the few non climate controlled distillers left.
So they basically were making making wild turkey and I think I think since then they've built like a multi you know multi million dollar facility because they're losing out.
It gets too hot during the summer.
And so they can't make they can't do bourbon production during during certain months.
So they're missing out.
Right.
So I went there when it was shut down because of the heat and and yeah they're making it the same way they made it 100 years ago the exact same way 100 years ago.
So what they have here is they got a little little flow chart.
Yeah.
And I haven't really pushed all the buttons or not.
Kind of open.
So anyways it starts off with the raw materials.
We need to get an HDMI splitter.
Oh wow.
Well we actually we can we can do it but I'll tell you what we'll get it done next.
Well if you have an HDMI you can always change the input with the damn remote.
Yeah we could do that next time.
So we got the the raw fermentation then that's the preparation and then the mashing.
And then it's the fermentation and then the distillation.
Yes.
And then that's the aging.
Then it's well no then it's filtered.
Yeah.
Then it's proofing just aging.
Yeah.
Well then the proofing with water so you can dial back with water.
It's a little light battery right here.
Battery with a checkbox.
So the yellow yellow.
Those are clipboards.
Oh so those are.
It's a checklist.
They're probably quality checks during the process.
So then they have then the filling and then the bottles.
So it's the raw materials preparation the mashing.
And I like how they have little comb there a little cultivating and the fermentation process the distillation aging the proofing.
Which is diluting it.
So we can do this in our garage.
I mean you can buy a little still.
From Amazon.
I was going to do that.
I'm not doing that.
That is a I mean it would be fun.
But come on.
Have you ever made your own beer.
Yes.
No.
Fuck that.
Too much work.
Yes.
It's a lot of work.
No hesitation.
No.
Why is it too much work.
Yes.
I mean unless you're less you really really enjoy it.
I did it.
I made I think four or five batches.
And the key is sanitation.
And you have to buy sanitary you have to sanitize everything.
And of course my kids were younger and I was doing it in the kitchen and they'd come blowing through the kitchen and I'm sure just there's huge and just sure they would sneeze in the mash which is huge.
Yes.
Just just 10 year old boy just grossness.
And if there's any kind of bacteria anything it alters the flavor.
Really.
It tastes bad.
Yes.
And so you have to have a section I should have done it someplace where it's like I could have sealed off but unless you have like in the garage like sealed off or something like that it's hard to buy like a completely self contained you know still for like like 300 bucks on Amazon.
Yeah.
It just sounds like fun to me.
The tough part is well not tough but then you got to age it.
That's I mean well the new barrels we have barrels.
Right.
We have those.
Yours is cherry lined.
All right.
That barrel is done.
But yeah you can we could buy a 10 10 gallon barrel and let it sit there for eight years.
Yes.
Okay.
Nicola Nicola score score.
Are you still looking up the girl from that's Christmas.
Well that's her name and Nicola course sees.
I don't know if that's phonetically how you say it.
And then that's why a lot of distilleries start with vodka because you have to age that they make they make vodka while your bourbon is to make money to hold scale float.
Correct.
Yeah I think I think I have heard that before.
Interesting.
Yes.
So yeah they play with some maybe someday there'll be a Tito's bourbon.
Interesting.
I don't know how long has Tito's been around.
Four years.
Five years.
I don't know.
Four and a half.
There we go.
I don't know.
All right.
So yeah we're rolling into the Christmas time and I was out there on Sunday risking my life on a 25 foot ladder precariously perched against my tree.
You know putting up lights because that's what we do for Christmas.
Right.
I never.
Did it.
To this house here a few times and I never even growing up we never decorated the outside.
Really.
No hanging lights was never a thing in my family and I've done a couple of times here and I've done it like the day after Thanksgiving and it's like 10 degrees and it's just you just like this sucks.
That's yeah.
It's like I'm not doing this.
You know we didn't even put up lights last year but this year given the whole shitty year I really am wanting to get into Christmas just to kind of even if I mean I am feeling it but if I didn't I would act like I was because I'm trying to steamroll through this you know this crappy year and like finish in a happy happy mood you know what I'm saying.
Do we think January 1st will be different.
No but you know what I mean I just I'm trying to I'm trying to enjoy these holidays and then like put a lot of work into it and like be intentional about it because I don't know I just want to end on a note.
Well it's been hard for us because as it is for everyone because you know we didn't get to see one of the boys for Thanksgiving so that kind of threw us off.
I mean it's.
And it's you know he's going to come home for a little bit he's not going to be here for the entire time. So it's just a different dynamic you know your kids get older and they don't you know come around ever you don't see them you're not with them every single holiday.
Well I thought that was a coven related.
Well it was right for us.
I mean if that wouldn't have happened he would have been here but there comes a point in your life.
Yeah that'll happen.
You're like whether it's they're married or they move out of state or something like that they're like yeah I'm down here on my own.
Yeah that's what happened to me when I moved out you know me and my roommate we just picked our stuff up and moved down here to Dallas.
My parents were still in Cincinnati and I remember that their first Thanksgiving it was tough.
Yeah me and my roommate we cook steaks.
Right. And it was the it was it was icing because it was the remember this this was way back in the early 90s.
The cowboy Miami game where Leon let kick the ball the ice bowl the ice bowl.
It was the ice bowl. How was that that game.
It was Thanksgiving.
Yeah you weren't. Yes I was for real. Yep.
Crazy.
So that's that's that was my first Thanksgiving down here alone.
I was 93 and I remember we had this piece of crab grill and we got these huge cheap ass.
I think they're around steaks because we didn't have any money.
Sure.
We weren't going to cook a turkey.
We didn't have the money or the time or the know how to do that.
So we bought these cheap $15 crap charcoal grill a bag of charcoal.
There you go. And these really nasty steaks.
I bet you they were awesome though.
No they were terrible.
Oh OK.
Because we had it anyway.
Yes that was that was my first Thanksgiving alone as we had.
I couldn't tell you what else we had but we had steak.
It wasn't bad it was meat.
Yeah.
And then I think we hit the strip joints.
Oh nice. Well that's what you do for Thanksgiving.
Yes.
One of the motivations as well for me to put up lights is that we have a relatively new neighbor on the left hand side.
Brand new neighbor on the right hand side.
They literally moved in their leasing and they've been there like a month.
The ones with the the Mexican flag.
Correct.
Lights.
Right. And we come home and it's like oh I mean it's like you get sunburned.
Lights are beaming from their house and it's like outline the house.
I mean they went all out.
It wasn't like you know like you know just throwing a couple of things on the bush.
It looks good.
It does look good.
And so yes they did wrap the yes they wrapped the tree in green and white and red.
So they're clearly proud of their heritage which is nothing wrong with that.
And anyway so on the other side they have like 15 foot blow up.
You know I don't like to blow up.
I'm not a big fan either but they they have huge ones and one of them is like a archway blow up thing.
And I was like wow.
It's a big penis.
Well I don't think it was phallic.
I mean that would be kind of odd.
But you know what the next time.
The palm tree is shooting out of it.
Yeah the next time I go by there I'll take a closer look just to see.
Anyways so I was like okay we can't we can't be that dark house in between these two like well lit up things.
Anyway so I did what I normally do which I line the flower beds and then that next night I quickly remembered why I stopped doing it because the damn rabbits.
No they got to it already.
Already after one frickin night.
Did they hit the neighbors.
I didn't look but.
But their lights are still on.
Yeah apparently.
But anyway so I said okay forget it.
Good Lord.
See because my wife wanted to do something different.
There's like this new way of putting out Christmas lights where you hang them from the trees like it's straight down.
All right.
Anyway so I was like you know why not.
Well today.
Well I.
I had done both right.
I lined the flower bed and I hung some and my wife was like that's not enough.
They have to have way more hanging from the trees.
I was like oh my God.
You get on the top of that ladder and hang them because you know it's treacherous.
Anyway so after the damn rabbit thing I'm like I yanked up all the stuff from the flower bed and I said I'm hanging everything on the tree.
So I haven't done that yet.
No I'm planning it out.
But I got to finish I got to finish the front trees and now we're going to add like probably six more strands three to each tree.
So if there's more hanging down.
So it's like the old icicles.
But it's the whole strand.
Like it's a whole strand.
Well how do you.
So you just you just throw a strand in the tree so it's hanging straight down.
So now you.
A certain kind.
No it's just whatever you want to get right.
But that's you know so you get up there and you wrap it around the branch until it reaches the level that you're you know you want it to hang from.
And then you plug it in.
It takes a lot of extension cords.
So I'm sure there's a better way to do it like there's they have in line extension cords where like every three five seven feet there's an outlet.
I have one of those.
Do you.
Well see I wish I had one of those but I had already gone to Walmart and just bought a bunch of extension cords right.
And it's pretty cool.
So I'm going to put a little little T outlet on the top of those and do run another extension cord onto other branches so I can hang more from those looks pretty cool.
You guys should come by and see it.
So you're using all your solar power.
I'm using all of it.
My last my last electricity bill was three dollars and forty eight cents.
Plus the two hundred and fifty dollars.
That's like where's the other part on that.
Well yeah I'm still saving money.
I promise you I really am.
So the panels have turned out to be a pretty cool deal so far.
Yeah it's been economically a non painful decision.
Yeah my bill is typically under two fifty during the winter months year round.
Oh God not me.
I'm just thinking what summer for me was like five six.
I think we had a seven hundred dollars.
So yeah so I don't know I don't know what was going on there but maybe they were setting me up for the solar panel thing to be just artificially inflating my electricity.
You know ours was pretty high at our house.
It was up to six hundred hundred bucks.
Yeah but we went to the energy ogre and I tell you what where you can shop around.
Well they shop around.
Right.
And I'll tell you what it didn't cut it in half but it cut a third off.
Yeah it was a huge chunk.
Yeah I'm assuming that I'm definitely not paying more than I was before.
But I can feel good about the fact that I'm hardly pulling anything from the grid at all.
That's kind of cool.
And you'll be compliant with AOC's new green deal.
Exactly.
So they won't have to tear your house down and rebuild it.
That's right I won't.
You know compounded with the fact that we went to energy ogre the fact that I replaced both of our air conditioning units this past summer.
That's expensive.
When did you do that?
That was the fall wasn't it?
That was just a couple months ago.
Well they were consecutive.
That's what happened to me.
It's like this like shit.
Yeah they're not cheap either man.
The same thing happened what you went through was what I had to do was the frickin foundation went out.
I had to do that too.
And then less than a year later the AC's went out and then the fucking pipe under the house burst.
See that's just the kick in the balls right there.
That was Christmas Eve it got fixed.
Do you pay extra for that for Christmas Eve?
No.
You're kidding.
No I don't know.
It's always more expensive.
Like everything that's major breaks on a holiday and then you have to pay triple the rate that they normally charge.
Oh wow.
A good portion of it anyway.
I still had to pay some.
Insurance or home shield?
You say home insurance?
Home insurance did.
Really?
Yeah.
Why do you question that?
I don't know I've never thought of usually when I think of home insurance I think fire, flood.
Well there you go.
I mean that's a.
I didn't think you would cover it because it was under the house.
Yeah.
Because it's not a typical thing.
I only paid 800 bucks.
Well that's really the only thing that matters.
That's not bad at all.
For that kind of damage.
Shit it was like almost nine grand.
Yeah it was like eight grand.
They had to burrow under the house.
That's some serious shit man because people die burrowing under the houses.
Really?
Yeah that's a serious thing man.
Yeah they did it was about a three by three.
Cavern they dug I think he said they actually had to go in I think like 25 feet underneath my house.
Basically to the middle of the house.
That's got to be dangerous.
Yeah.
Because he came crawling out and it was on Christmas Eve I was out there talking to him and he was just it was a mess because he had his blow torch or whatever he used.
Yeah.
And he's like it's so hot and humid down there when I get this blow torch going.
Oh yeah it's a confined space.
He goes plus it was hot water so it's the hot water blind.
He goes with that on top of the flame and all that he came out and he was just muddy and a sweaty mess.
I've got three more of these to do today.
Yeah that wouldn't be the job of my preference.
Yeah they get paid though.
Plumbers get paid good.
And you know here's another thing.
Plumber is a trade that you know you go to school but it's not a four year college.
And those guys make pretty good money.
And they make good money.
And a lot of them they're their own boss.
Yeah.
You can't put a price on that man.
I think I think that those types of jobs those trade jobs aren't enforced reinforced enough in school nowadays.
I think they just jam down the throat that you need to go to two year through four year college.
Right.
And that's the that's the thing.
That's not for everybody.
I'm hearing that more and more now.
More and more pushing people towards trades.
Who's that dirty jobs guy.
Mike Rowe.
He's really cool.
He's awesome.
And he's a big proponent of don't go college.
Go trade.
You save a shitload of money and you make a shitload of money.
Yeah.
But then you have to deal with people go oh you're a plumber.
I make more than you do.
Mr.
Doctor.
Right.
Do people look down on plumbers.
I'm sure they do.
I don't.
I've never had that.
I find it.
Yeah.
Well I think so because you hear crack and just big fat guy with his ass.
Yeah.
He's always.
There's no hot plumbers out there that are ripped and have chiseled bodies with no.
The guy that did my house.
He was hot.
He was a younger guy.
Yeah.
Tell us about your hot plumber that came in.
He was.
He was right under your house while you stared at him.
He was wearing a tube top.
And he was sweating his ass off.
Tube top.
God.
No he was a younger guy.
He was in shape.
And.
This is the first time the show got really gay.
Yeah.
And those pictures don't help Mr. Producer.
Did he have.
He was.
No.
Do you have dreamy blue eyes.
He was a military guy.
He's like he got out.
He got out of the military.
And.
Go on.
He's.
What's interesting is he knows so much about him.
Well I had talked to him.
I told you.
I know.
He was on Christmas Eve.
You struck up a lot of conversation.
He's a Pisces.
Well he's also came up.
He was also the one who replaced my water heater.
So I.
So you've called him out multiple times.
Yes.
Interesting.
Yes.
You ever call him on a lonely night.
No I have not spoken to him in a couple of years.
On a lonely cold night.
So he's like hey.
What are you doing.
I'm sorry.
Who is this.
Oh that's Mr.
Barkey.
You helped me with my my leak under my house.
Yeah.
Do you have an emergency.
No I just just want to chat.
Just do the.
Hope you're doing all right.
I just.
But wondering what you're doing for the holidays.
Just checking to see if your numbers still the same.
Look at this guy.
The second one.
I'd rather not.
Yeah.
Geez.
Or like the third one.
It's even worse.
He's got an areola.
He's got his pants unbuttoned and his.
Crop.
We got to get off the gay plumber thing.
It's it's it's we're losing people left and right.
That was kind of fun.
Better than the bear conversation.
But lose.
Lord.
It is a real thing.
All right.
Staying on the Christmas theme.
What.
What is what is the fun part about Christmas for you guys.
Anything.
I'll share one thing about Christmas that's not so fun.
OK.
And it's the simple fact that the older you get the faster the season goes by.
Oh yeah.
And it's just.
Why is that.
It's the rat race.
You don't get to enjoy the days.
But does the rat race get worse as we get older.
I would think it would like we start to wise up to the rat race and we start to not give a shit.
The rat race from the from my perspective is that the rat race you just working every day working every day working every day.
And you don't have your two week off.
Yeah.
You did in school.
Yeah.
It's school year.
You're off.
You can enjoy the moment.
And now we're just like fuck I don't even have time to put up Christmas lights.
Right.
And I'm leaning on my kids to do it.
And they're kind of like losers.
They're like this is my vacation.
Yeah.
They're like what the hell man.
I've got shit to do.
I'm fucking playing video games.
What the hell losers.
I don't.
Dad you're.
Somebody else will.
Well I know I know Stephen.
He took it on himself because he wanted lights.
And I told him I was like I've done it.
I don't want to do it anymore.
And I'm so lame.
So he again again it wasn't I was at the top of a ladder at 25 feet in the air like reaching over and trying to plug.
I mean I'm out there doing it.
OK.
I'm not saying I'm smart.
I got to get into my life.
You got to get into Christmas this year.
This year has sucked.
I got to hand to my wife.
We got to be all in.
She is.
She's an.
She's a decorator.
She's a machine.
She decorates.
She is a machine.
She's a machine.
She's like hey we're doing Easter.
We're doing St. Patty's Day.
We're doing Valentine's Day.
I love that.
And it's I do too.
Those are traditional.
And you can't you can't.
I can't complain about it.
I don't complain about it.
I enjoy the shit out of it.
I just try to stay out of her way.
And I know she's thinking I just wish she would help more.
But if you helped you'd be like you're doing it wrong.
Yeah I do it wrong.
And then I got to do it twice three times.
I'm like fuck it.
Just let her do it.
You know.
Jeff she's decorating.
I'll be right over.
Let's go get some bourbon.
You got any wood to burn.
That's what I told her.
Oh my God.
We were talking the other night.
We're going to go do something.
And Tara gets a text message from from Shelley.
And so she gets a text message from Shelley.
Hey let's go over to house.
And I was like Jeff and I were going to go sit in the house.
And I was like.
Oh my God.
And I was like Jeff and I were going to go sit by the fire.
And we were.
We were going to burn shit out.
That was an explicit invite from Terry.
By the way.
Really.
That was Shelley's idea.
What's going on with that.
With Terry.
That was Terry's idea.
He's a I'm kind of wondering.
Well talk about that.
Some of the stuff later.
But he's got a new job.
It's fantastic.
Good for him.
Did you get the job.
I'm assuming.
I'm assuming he put his notice in.
Oh, he didn't tell me that.
Yeah, I guess we can't talk too much about it.
But I was kind of intrigued.
And I have not mentioned anything to my work folk
about it because.
Well, you shouldn't.
Really?
Because I was dying to.
And then you drank a full bottle of bourbon.
Oh, it was a half.
Who did?
Well, that one was a half.
No, I had a, I brought over a half bottle of Jack Daniels,
a small one for Jack Daniels.
That was gone quick.
And half of my brand new bottle of Rebel Yellow was gone.
I didn't drink that.
Half a bottle of Jack would not shitface you like he said it did.
Somebody did.
That other dude that we met there.
When I got there, it was already half.
No.
2 thirds.
No.
Negative.
Anyway, getting into Christmas, I got to stay on this theme.
I want us to get into Christmas.
I tell you what, are you going to watch the old standard Christmas
like the Rudolph, the Frosties, any of that?
I'd like to.
That's what got me as a kid.
Really?
That's what got me into the spirit watching those every single year.
Maybe I should.
But I tell you, you guys are going to be amazed.
What's the Tinkerbell?
Not Tinkerbell.
Angel gets his wings.
Angel.
The mickle of 34th Street.
Never seen it.
Charlie Brown?
Never seen it.
Charlie Brown Christmas?
Never seen it.
You know, I'm with you.
I haven't seen a whole lot of them either.
If you would ask me Christmas movies, I would say Die Hard.
Dude, that is a good one.
It's a Christmas movie.
It is, actually.
Well, I mean, it happened during Christmas.
Well, you need to watch.
Come up to LA.
Have a good time.
Celebrate Christmas.
Remember?
Yeah, I get it.
But it's not.
I know what you mean.
It's just a little different.
But you need to watch the Rudolph.
Now, it was made in the 60s.
Is that the claymation?
It's not claymation, but it's stop motion, yes.
Yeah.
Yeah, I'm not a big fan of that.
But I always watched that and the Frosty with Jimmy Durante
singing in burl eyes.
Silver bells.
Well, there's another good Frosty with Mel Gibson.
Is it Mel Gibson?
Mel Brooks?
Is it Mel Gibson?
Mel Gibson's in Fat Man.
That's a new movie that just came out.
Yeah, that's not the same one.
That's an old one.
It's not Mel Gibson.
Mel Torme?
It's the guy.
Mel Torme.
Multiplicity.
You remember the guy that he?
Placenta.
Well, that clones himself.
Steve, Steve Martin.
There's a lot of people that are listening
that know exactly what I'm talking about.
That clone themselves.
Multiplicity.
He's in Beetlejuice.
Beetlejuice.
Oh, Michael Keaton.
Michael Keaton.
Batman.
Michael Keaton is Frost or Frosty or I've never seen that.
Never seen that.
It's good.
It's called multiplicity.
Yeah, his father dies.
What did you just say his name was?
I forgot it.
Michael Keaton dies, and he comes back as Frosty.
Never seen it.
And he has to tell his, convince his kid,
who is mourning his loss, that he is his, he's back.
Do you know what Michael Keaton's real name is?
Look it up.
It's something, look up Michael Keaton's real name.
It's very interesting.
Oh, I'm almost positive it is Michael Keaton in this cult.
It's Frost.
Frost.
Mr. Jack Frost or something.
Oh, Michael Douglas.
Michael Douglas.
That's his real name?
Yes.
Isn't there already a Michael Douglas?
Yes.
Hold on.
His official name is Michael Keaton and then
Michael John Douglas.
What the hell?
Which one's which?
His birth name is Michael Douglas.
Oh, OK.
He changed it to Michael Keaton.
That's Kirk Douglas's son.
That's weird.
Yes, but there's no relation.
They don't look the same.
Yeah.
Interesting.
I'll tell you which one where I got introduced to Michael
Keaton was Mr. Mom.
I thought that movie.
I haven't seen, I saw it in the theater.
Absolutely fantastic movie.
There was another one with Michael Keaton where he played.
Go to IMDb, Mr. Producer, go to IMDb and look up his list
of movies.
Michael Keaton is a stud.
He was a night shift, right?
He did one where he was in a movie
with a bunch of psychiatric patients.
Birdman?
Yes.
Was it Birdman?
I never saw it, but yeah, I believe it was Birdman.
That was a one and done for me, I think, that movie.
I thought it was a fantastic movie.
Oh, that's some dodge ball.
Fantastic movie.
He sneaks a bunch of people out and they go to a baseball game.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yes, I saw that movie.
Are you sure you got the right Michael Keaton?
Go up.
Scroll up.
No, that's the newest one.
OK, so yeah, that's it.
Michael Keaton, Filmography.
OK, all right.
We'll go down to the, like, there's Multiplicity.
That was a good one.
This is where he clones himself.
Yeah, Jack Frost.
That's the one you're talking about.
Jack Frost, that's it.
And it's good.
Porco Rosso.
I've never seen it.
Jack Frost.
It's a good Christmas movie.
I haven't seen it.
That's the thing.
I haven't seen a lot of Christmas movies.
This was a Jack Frost.
What was that?
Tim Martin?
Martin?
What was that dude's name?
I don't know.
He was the Shaggy DA.
And then the other good one is the guy who's Santa Claus.
And it doesn't matter what he does, he starts growing.
That's Tim Allen.
Tim Allen.
Oh, yeah.
That's a funny one.
That was a great one.
That's a great movie.
Yeah, that was good.
They have, like, two or three of those.
Put the jacket on, and then boom, he's all of a sudden.
And he couldn't get rid of the beard.
And all of a sudden, he would shave.
He was gone.
He was like, look at me.
And then at work, they're like, wow, you put on a lot of weight,
and he's got, like, sweatpants on and stuff.
Remember?
Yeah.
Yeah, that was well done.
That was a good movie.
I'll tell you, growing up, you know,
it was the classic Rudolph with the red nose.
And it was the claymation stuff.
That was exciting.
That's what always got me in the mood,
because back then, you had three frickin' channels.
Yeah.
And it came on.
You had that special holiday little graphic
that came up and whoosh, coming to you.
And you knew that sound.
Every kid knew that sound.
You could be 10 miles away from your TV,
and you'd be like, I hear that special.
It's a special song.
1964.
Yeah, I mean, back then, you didn't
have YouTube where you could watch it whenever you want.
It was on once, one day, once a year.
And you played it.
And if you didn't see it then, psh.
Tough shit.
But the other one is A Christmas Story.
Is that the one you'll shoot your eye out movie?
That's one of my favorites.
That's a great one.
Yeah, that's a great one, too.
My family hates it because I've played it so many times.
Oh, there you go.
My wife thinks it's stupid.
So you've ruined it beautifully.
It's stupid, but it's fantastic.
Oh, that reminds me of my ute, right?
Yeah.
Ute.
Yes, because I think that was filmed up in Cleveland.
So it looks very similar to Cincinnati.
You can't have a gun.
You should dry out.
Oh, my favorite's the father in that movie.
He's such a dweeb.
Like the whole, fra-jee-lay.
Must be Italian.
Remember he's got the lamp of the woman's leg?
Yes.
You could buy that today.
So funny.
And the wife is horrified.
And he wants to move everything and make it
the centerpiece of the window.
And she's embarrassed for her neighbors
and all that kind of stuff.
Great movie.
That's a good one.
I like the end where they're at the Chinese
because the stupid dogs came in and they told me.
Ra, ra, ra, ra, ra, ra, ra, ra, ra.
I wonder if that's on regular TV these days
or if that's considered offensive these days.
But that's right.
That whole last scene is hysterical.
And they bring it.
Yeah, they chop the duck's head off.
Yep.
All right, let's get stuck.
Yeah, that's a good one.
Yeah, but I know growing up, there
was a couple different Rudolphs.
And like I said, Frosty the Snowman.
Then they came out with the cartoon version
of Frosty the Snowman.
Sucked, as John Goodman.
And then Peter the Rabbit was his co-pilot.
I don't know.
But there's one in the late 80s, I think, with John Goodman.
And I tried watching it with the boys.
And it sucked.
Really, really bad.
That's too bad.
Well, and then we got music.
Yeah, I like the classical music,
but the old Christmas stuff.
It's become very diluted.
I don't like the new Christmas stuff.
What, new stuff, you mean?
Yeah, there's too much of the newer stuff.
I know everyone wants to put their own spin on it
and put their signature to their Christmas song.
But that ship is come and gone.
When I tell Alexa to put on Christmas music,
she's playing traditional stuff.
I like the traditional, the Bing Crosby.
Yeah.
Nat King Cole.
Yeah, I like that stuff the best.
There's some new ones that I can listen to.
Some of the 80s.
John Bon Jovi's got a couple songs.
There's some good modern ones.
There's one that I really, really dislike.
It's by the Beatles or Paul McCartney or something
like that.
Oh, yeah.
Wah, wah, wah, wah, wah, wah.
Terrible.
Yeah, there's a couple that just people skin that off.
Having a Christmas time.
Yes, it's terrible.
It is terrible.
I hate it.
Absolutely terrible.
I turn it every time that thing comes on.
I do like.
That's so funny.
That is actually my least favorite Christmas song.
I immediately change it.
I like that Christmas song where it's the 80s where
all the stars are singing.
It's Christmas time.
I don't like that one either.
That's like, you don't like that?
I do.
I like it.
I do not.
That's one of my favorite ones.
I used to like sing every part.
You hate We Are the World too?
That was a good song.
Was it?
I thought it was.
It was for Live Aid.
It was for Africa, of which none of the food ever made it.
I was going to say, I don't like any of it made it.
None of it.
It all got held up on docks by the warlords.
The last thing they wanted was those people to have food.
Isn't that sick?
It was a good concert though.
It was a great concert.
Live Aid.
87?
I don't know.
Live Aid.
Was I in college when that thing came on?
86, 85.
I thought it was earlier than that.
Live Aid concert.
What year was that, Mr. Perdue?
That may have been 85 because I was at home when that came on.
85 sounds right.
I was thinking 87.
Because they had all the stars.
I could sing every single part with their dialect.
85.
85, nicely done.
And I remember because I was huge into the Led Zeppelin
at the time.
And that was going to be the Led Zeppelin reunion.
Well, and it was also, if I remember correctly,
so I watched that Queen movie.
Bohemia Rhapsody, that movie.
And I think it was their reunion too.
Well, yes, it was.
Yeah, they had a reunion for Live Aid.
Because he was sick at that time, I think.
I think he hadn't told them, but he was sick.
When did he bite it?
When did he die?
I'm guessing probably 87.
It was right after that.
Yeah, pretty soon after that.
I think it was the late 80s or maybe early 90s.
Oh, really?
His name was?
Drum roll.
Freddie Mercury.
When did Freddie Mercury die?
That's really the value of this podcast,
is telling our viewers, our listeners, important trivia.
When Freddie Mercury died.
When Live Aid was.
91.
Oh, god, that's six years later from Live Aid.
He died right before Thanksgiving.
He couldn't choke another chicken.
He had to die right before it.
Or chuck a turkey.
Not insensitive.
Damn it.
No, I'm just saying.
He was from Tanzania.
That was a cool movie, though.
I enjoyed it.
It was.
And the whole Live Aid thing, I watched all of it.
Oh, yeah?
All of it.
And the Led Zeppelin was big for me.
I remember Phil Collins was the drummer.
Oh.
So Phil Collins was a drummer.
For John Bonham or whatever?
John Bonham, because of course he was dead.
Bonham?
Bonham.
And he died.
Was it Bonham?
He died, so Phil Collins filled in.
He died in the 19th.
That's what disbanded the Led Zeppelin,
because the drummer died.
That's why they went away.
I didn't know that.
So he died in 80, maybe?
Robert Plant?
No, he didn't die.
He still alive.
I'm thinking of who the people are.
Robert Plant.
Jimmy Page.
Who's the bassist?
Yeah, who's the bassist?
Mr. Led Zeppelin.
You don't know.
I do know.
It's the guy on the bottom left right there, that corner.
Oh, great.
That does sound like the one that doesn't look like Jimmy
Page or Robert Plant.
John Paul Jones.
OK, OK.
I tell you what, I was a late bloomer
on the whole Led Zeppelin scene.
I heard some of the songs when they first came out,
because I was living in Indonesia at the time.
But I did hear some of the songs,
but I wasn't a fan until I got to college,
because my roommate would play Led Zeppelin.
I was like, damn, this shit rocks.
They're good, man.
They are good.
I never got into them.
Ahead of their time.
Way ahead of their time.
There's a few songs I liked, but I never really got into.
I liked All of My Love was one of the only songs I really liked.
And ironically, that's one of the least favorite ones for me.
I mean, if you listen to Robert Plant sing,
he's got some serious blues and soul in his voice when he sings.
Oh, yeah, he does.
Yes.
Yeah.
Yeah, he does.
I can listen to some of their stuff,
and I'm kind of like, wow.
Because I tell you, I'm waiting for that special moment
to happen, maybe five years from now, or something,
where I'll open up a Led Zeppelin album,
and I'll start listening to it, because I haven't listened to it.
All I've heard was the mainstream stuff.
But someone played something from Robert Plant
on the Satellite Blues channel.
The Honeydrippers.
And not the-
He's good.
Yeah, Honeydrippers was good, too.
Come with me, my love.
I love that song.
To the sea, sea of love.
OK, I don't know why you're Elvis.
I want to tell you.
Can you cut his mic?
Oh, well.
He's reaching.
He's reaching on the board there.
You don't have to cut it.
Yeah, I was big.
I was huge into the Led Zeppelin, and I remember
there was a band called Kingdom Come.
I remember.
And they had one song.
One song that was almost a direct rip-off of Get It On.
So play that, Mr. Producer.
It sounds a lot like Led Zeppelin.
I remember when it came out, and that's why I liked it.
Which song?
Get It On.
No, no, no.
Get It On.
Which song?
Get It On.
We'll just play it and listen to it.
The lead singer.
Banga Gong.
Oh, that's what I was thinking.
Right there.
Play the top right there.
Dude, I'm close.
I was- well.
Yeah.
Suck it.
Isn't that the firm?
Who's saying Get It-
That was Power Station.
Power Station.
Yeah.
What are we looking at here?
All right.
Somebody-
You've got to actually turn it up.
So hold on.
Is it ripping off a particular song?
No, the whole sound.
I'll do it.
Oh, they look like them, too.
Let's do the guy's thing.
Yeah, well, I can't hear anything.
They got difficult.
I think it needs to be louder.
I can barely hear it.
That's better.
There you go.
Look at that special effect.
Anyway, when he starts singing, and you'll hear it, it sounds- he's ripping now.
There you go.
Yeah, it does sound the same.
No, it doesn't.
No, the riffs are-
You know what?
This sounds like Kingdom Come.
Look at that.
Oh, come on.
Oh, yeah.
No.
Oh, yeah.
They're trying to steal-
His voice is-
Anyway, I think he sounds a lot like- not exactly, obviously, not as good.
He's trying to mimic-
Actually, that's pretty good, though.
I bet they could do a tribute.
He's trying to mimic the riffs.
Eddie Plant.
Jimmy Plant.
Eddie Money.
So, yeah, I remember when that song came out just because it sounded like that.
It's not a terrible song, but it's an 80s hair band and whatnot.
Yeah, there was a lot of good hair bands back in that genre.
I think Sean's still wrapped up on that.
Yeah, he's still wrapped up on that.
He's still going from Christmas vacation from an hour ago.
So, getting back to Christmas, so what's it going to take?
I got the cello going on that.
Nice.
That was weird.
What the hell?
I'm out of bourbon.
There's a bottle in front of you.
Oh, yeah.
I'm out of bourbon.
There's a bottle in front of you.
Yeah, we don't have no ice up here.
I got ice.
Oh, you do?
How's that machine working?
I haven't plugged it in.
I haven't plugged it in because I was debating whether I should gift it to myself for Christmas.
Would you like an ice refill?
Yes, please.
What are the words to that song?
I don't even know what the name of the song is.
It's a Hawaiian.
That's how you say Hawaiian.
Hawaiian Halloween.
You got to play that.
That's such a bad-ass song.
Kabuki?
Are you going to share your wild turkey there, Sean?
That's such a cool song.
There you go.
And I wonder, I've always wondered when I see, he's corning the turkey.
There you go.
And I wonder, my experience growing up with Christmas with snow and all that stuff being up north,
and I look and I see these commercials, you see a palm tree with lights on it on the beach and it's 90 degrees.
I'm like, that's not Christmas to me.
But I wonder.
I think it is.
Producer, can you pull up the actual Christmas national lampoon?
God bless it.
The song from the movie.
It was that song.
It's Bing Crosby, Melly, but it's a Hawaiian Christmas song, national lampoon.
I thought that's what you were just playing.
There was a song, but I'm actually looking for the clip.
Oh, you want the video.
Oh, you want to see the model coming out of the pool.
With the boobies.
She doesn't have boobies, really.
Yeah, she does.
Okay.
Pepperonis.
That was more like the butt.
Did you just say pepperonis?
Yeah, what's up with your pepperonis?
Is that a thing?
What?
Besides, I was thinking more movies.
Why?
What do you mean?
I don't know what you're talking about.
I need a moment, guys.
What the hell?
Don't you have pepperonis?
What's wrong with you people?
There he is.
There you go.
That's classy.
He's at the window here.
Chase is looking out the window, and he's daydreaming about the pool.
Night dreaming.
Yeah, it starts out with him dreaming of the pool that he thinks he's going to build with his bonus.
And he's envisioning all the kids frolicking in the pool.
Turn it up a little bit.
There we go.
There you go.
Oh, and the whole family is celebrating around the pool.
And he's like getting into it.
But there's frost on his windows.
The pair is on in-laws.
And then you have the brother-in-law with his fucking flippers on.
And his speedo.
This is what's hilarious.
He's like getting disappointed with his own daydream.
Because his brother is acting like an idiot.
His brother-in-law has a onesie on with a leopard bikini over his skin.
That's a wife beater.
He has to pull it all the way down.
That's so great.
That's a wife beater.
He's got pulled down underneath his bikini, his leopard bikini.
This movie is awesome.
Oh, there she is.
Watch.
Everybody else disappears.
This is the girl he met in the department store.
Yeah, he was trying to find something for his wife.
And now everybody disappears except for her.
And now, yeah, he's asking her to come out.
I love it when the bathing suit hits the window.
Oh, my God.
And you know what?
In retrospect, she's okay.
She's not really that fantastic looking.
There was the sign of the times, really.
What this is is a takeoff from the scene in the first movie.
The Cristhy Brinkley, right?
It's Cristhy Brinkley, yes.
Oh, you got some side.
Wow, side blue there.
There was a lot of side.
There we go.
That really surprises me.
And then the window.
I love it.
Look at his face.
Oh, and this is the fantastic part.
Here comes the backwoods and the knees.
Look at him.
She's like backwoods.
She's coming out of the pool, and she's got no clothes on.
All right, yeah.
I'm going to have to watch that again.
That's a great one.
I'm going to have to watch it again.
It's been quite a few years since I've seen that one.
Especially the Christmas life scene.
I try to watch it every year.
When he tries to impress everybody with the Christmas lights.
They weren't turned on.
It's not on, Clark.
Did you get into the Home Alone movies?
Yeah.
I don't know about all of them, but the first one was brilliant.
Yeah.
I think I've seen it, but I never really...
I think it was during the college years.
There was a period where those kind of movies didn't really appeal to me.
Yeah, they were too kiddy-like.
Maybe.
I don't know.
We all go through that.
I don't even know what year that came out.
It's got to be the 90s.
Yeah, it's got to be the 90s.
Really?
John Williams wrote the Home Alone theme?
What?
Yes, he wrote a lot of stuff.
He really did.
What a talented composer, man.
He did Jaws.
He did Star Wars.
Star Wars.
Most importantly, Star Wars.
Yeah, I know.
No, seriously.
I think that put him on the map.
I had never heard of him until I figured out who the composer was for...
Oh, he did a great job.
Star Wars movies.
Yeah.
Crazy as it is, the Star Wars soundtrack was one of my first cassette tapes I ever owned.
Yeah.
I mean, how many people own the soundtrack of a movie that's classical?
He did E.T. as well.
Look at him.
I'll tell you another one.
Did he really do E.T.?
Yeah, he did a lot.
Nice.
He did a lot.
Is he still alive?
I guess so.
I don't know.
I don't see his...
32.
Boy, man, he's...
88 years old.
All right.
So what is his last composition?
His last name is Williams.
Oh my God.
The Imperial March.
That's what I'm saying.
Dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun.
All right.
So what was the last... What is his last known composition?
The Ewok Celebration.
Okay.
That's where I lost a lot of respect for him there.
I wasn't a big fan of the Ewoks, man.
That was stupid.
Yeah.
Oh, he wrote Star Spangled Banner?
But nothing is as bad as George R. R. Binks.
Nothing.
Yeah.
That destroyed Star Wars.
I don't know about that.
Jar Jar.
Episode one sucked ass.
Yes, it did.
Other than the pod race.
Yeah, between the Kid, Anakin Skywalker, and Jar Jar.
They got rid of the director.
It was horrible.
It still sucked.
He ruined it.
Ruined the whole thing.
God, do you think they'll redo it?
No.
You can't now.
No point.
They've made a nice recovery in the last several movies, though.
J.J. Abrams is...
I like his...
Yeah, his Star Trek movies are freaking awesome.
Oh, yeah.
Tell you what.
Freaking awesome.
The fact that he's taken over the whole Star Trek thing has got me realigned with Star Trek.
I'm watching the episodes and everything now.
I think they're great.
The Mandalorian is really good.
Oh, you mean you're going back and watching...
No, no.
The new episodes of Star Trek.
What do you mean?
Star Trek.
Trek?
Star Trek.
Or Wars.
You mean on CBS?
Yeah, Star Trek.
Oh, Discovery.
Yes.
I haven't seen any of that.
He has nothing to do with that, I don't believe.
But still, it sparked my...
It got you into Star Trek.
Are you on the third season?
Yeah, I'm up to date.
So is it good?
Yes, it's fascinating.
It's on CBS streaming.
I don't get that.
Well, you will.
You can get that.
You will.
I can get that.
Ancient Chinese secret, like dudes like us will train you, young Skywalker, to the path
of...
CBS streaming.
Yes, by paying for it.
Wow.
Yeah, that's clever.
We'll show you how to legally get the appropriate channels, Link Link.
Fantastic.
Good.
Yeah, it's good.
Now we're being investigated.
And actually, little known fact...
Cinema.
What?
That if you have a VPN and you say that you are in London, England, and you start Netflix,
the new Star Trek is part of Netflix UK.
No, no, no, no, no.
No kidding.
Fully legal.
You know what?
All right.
So I was desperate to get the Titans, right?
Because I got sick of being a slave to direct TV and paying for the...
So sick of the Titans.
No, stop.
The NFL Sunday ticket.
I got it the first year it came out in 1994.
I paid $2,000 or no, $1,100 for my dish and my little receiver.
Stupid.
You can't even imagine how much money I invested in direct TV for the Rockets package.
Let's do the math.
And the Titans package.
Anyway, so I was like, finally, I was like, man, there's got to be a better way.
I don't care about the rest of these games.
I just want to watch the damn Titans.
So I tried to do the VPN where you mask your IP to come from Nashville so I could see
local Nashville channels.
Oh, they're blacked out there probably.
And then I could go to... well, no, that wasn't the problem.
If it was a home game, it would be.
And then I tried to go that... do that for YouTube TV.
YouTube TV knows that you're... YouTube TV knows that you're using a VPN.
So it says you're using a VPN.
You can't...
There are certain ones you have to use.
I got screwed.
I couldn't do it.
But look, it's all about moving forward.
It's all about moving forward and knowledge.
Knowledge is key.
So now that you know...
It is.
I didn't know that.
I've had the VPN for a while, and I never knew that you could do that.
Because I wondered, and I was so frustrated because I was watching Netflix, and I was
like, huh, I'm getting of Modern Family.
Is that Modern Family?
There's all kinds of shows if you're in the UK.
Modern Family.
Or Canada.
It was because it was in freaking London, or it was in England.
And then when I turned the VPN off, I couldn't get it, and I'm like, what the fuck is going
on?
And I was pissed.
And I called my brother out of payment.
I said, what's going on with Netflix?
Did they just rip this thing off?
And my brother was like, are you using a VPN?
And I was like...
Oh, hell yes.
Yeah, Netflix is very geographical, so different areas have different shows.
They have many of the same.
It's based on your IP address, which is what you're doing with VPN is you're ghosting your
IP address.
Correct.
To say that you're coming from somewhere else.
That's how you get local channels.
They know where you are based on your IP address, and they give you local channels for just
that city.
Well, it also is supposed to target local commercials as well.
Right.
That's the whole point.
Actually, that is the whole point, because they want to make sure that local advertisers
are reaching their audience.
Yep.
So anyway, so if you use a VPN, you can watch the... And you have Netflix.
You can watch the new Star Trek via Netflix.
All right.
I'll have to check that.
I love Star Trek.
It's good.
The new one is good.
Throughout the history, right?
Jean-Luc Picard.
Fantastic.
What was that one?
Star Trek.
Next Generation.
Great.
And then DSpace9.
DSpace9.
Enterprise.
I actually... Enterprise was amazing.
That's the one that did the... Voyager.
Voyager wasn't bad.
Was that the one with the woman as the... Yes.
... as the captain or whatever?
As the captain.
Well, yeah.
That wasn't bad.
I didn't like DSpace9, though.
Well, that was stationary.
Yeah.
You were just in a little... International space station.
Didn't like it.
But the one that... One of my favorites was Enterprise, and that's the dude from...
Quantum Leap.
God, you are on it tonight.
What the hell?
Deep, deep, deep, deep.
Buck Rogers.
Dude, that's impressive.
Here I am struggling.
You're like, Quantum Leap.
Anyway, yeah, that was really... Did you watch that series?
Oh, yeah.
Watched it.
That's where...
Elvis Presley.
Oh, sorry.
That's where number nine came from.
The sexy, blonde, half-borg.
Oh, yeah.
I remember.
Speaking of, have you watched Picard?
Yep.
What?
There's two new Star Trek series out.
One called Discovery, and the one that just came out, there's only one season in, it's
called Picard.
So he's retired, and he's like 98 years old, so he's really old.
And it has to do with him doing some kind of mission.
So number nine is in that as well.
I saw an interview, no?
I saw a headline for an interview where the sole reason for him making that show was because
he was motivated to be anti-Trump.
So apparently that show has all sorts of liberal left-leaning...
I don't know.
Look it up.
Because he said the reason why he made the show is because he was motivated by his hatred
of Trump.
He's British.
I know.
Go figure.
I watched it.
I don't know if I picked anything up.
Put in Picard... No, put in... What's his real name?
What's his real name?
Sir something.
Patrick Stewart.
There we go.
Talks Donald Trump.
I don't really give a shit what he says about that.
I know.
You know what?
I wanted that to be... I don't want to get political tonight necessarily, but I wanted
that to be... They need to keep their ass shut.
Okay.
All right.
Let's just go there for a second.
So I don't want to get into this habit where I'm refusing to watch this or read this or
something, something, something because of that artist's political beliefs.
Now, whether they decided to spew that shit online on their social media or not, I kind
of don't... Like right now, Robert De Niro, I won't watch a Robert De Niro movie.
No.
I won't do it.
He's over the top.
I mean, he's like the biggest... Let me just say, he's the biggest fucking ignorant...
I'm going to punch him in the face.
Oh, he's the biggest ignorant fucking prick and he thinks he's... What kills me is he
thinks he's a tough guy.
He literally thinks he's like the people that he portrays in his movies.
He's not.
I was like, dude, you're an old fuck who's an actor.
Shut the fuck up.
He's like five six.
Sorry, I'm going on a rant now.
Eat your vanilla pudding, can't... Get the fuck out of here.
Seriously, I'm like shut the... Anyway.
Okay, so, but at the same time, I mean, I'm actually not a huge Robert De Niro fan, but
the heat, the movie Heat with him and Pacino, one of my favorites.
Right.
But the broader...
Hold on, back up.
But hold on.
That movie, The Heat, they have that scene.
It's like a 15 minute gunfight.
Oh yeah.
The bank robbery?
Yeah.
That was...
The fantastic movie.
That was probably one of the best gunfights I've seen in any movie.
In the streets.
Where he...
It was insane.
It was just...
To get out of the bank, it was insane.
Guys, the cast of that movie is Val Kilner and the dude from Saving Private Ryan, the...
Tom Hanks.
No, the first lieutenant guy who's badass, who was a major druggy, and he tried to make
a comeback.
Oh, I know who you're talking about.
Yeah.
Yes, that guy's badass.
Anyway, it's an amazing cast, and it's an amazing movie.
That's Amy... Who's the...
Polar.
Ashley Judd.
Huh?
Ashley Judd is Val Kilner's wife in that movie.
No.
Oh yeah.
Yeah.
Oh, it's a fantastic movie.
I may have to revisit that.
It's long, it's long, but it's so good.
It is, but I have to watch Robert De Niro, who's... He's just insufferable, but...
Look, he's a good actor.
Is he?
He plays the same character every fricking movie.
I enjoy the movie.
With the exception of Meet the Fockers, but yes.
Well, it's like Al Pacino.
He's the same way.
Yeah.
Have you ever seen... Have you ever seen the scent of a woman?
Yes.
Wow.
Really good.
Yeah, I've seen that.
That's really, really good.
And another one that you may not know about, he's a rocker...
Scarface.
No.
Well, yes, but no.
He's a rocker that had a kid and... Oh, wow, I'm doing a horrible job.
Can you, Mr. Producer, look up...
Rocker who had a kid.
No.
That narrow is dead.
Look up Al Pacino...
Rocker kid.
Al Pacino filmography from IMDB.
How old is this?
Oh, it's recent.
It's one of his recent movies, and it's really good.
Yeah.
Not a big Al Pacino fan.
I know, but I'm just saying.
He was the Godfather.
All right, let's see here.
King Lear?
No.
The Humbling?
Hold on, I can't see that.
Solomon?
Oh, Danny Collins.
Phil Spector.
Worth watching.
The Hungman.
Write that down.
Danny Collins is worth watching.
The Pirates of Somalia?
Good movie.
Hold on, where is it at?
What's Manglehorn?
Okay.
You guys are losing focus.
Can we get back to my original point, which is...
What is the... Where's the movie?
Danny Collins.
What's Manglehorn?
Where's that at?
Right there.
All right, click on it.
Never heard of it.
I know.
It's really good.
No, it's not.
Yeah, it is.
It's only got one star.
Look at that.
Yeah.
7-0 on IMDB.
You know how high that is?
On a scale of 1 to 20.
No, no.
Any movie that reaches 7-plus is excellent.
No.
Unless it's an artsy-fartsy film, and F those stupid people.
What did Cuties get?
10.
Have you heard about that one?
Look at that.
Hold on, Jennifer Garner plays on it.
She's one of my favorites.
Oh, she's... She's so beautiful.
She is.
And she's so down-to-earth and cool.
Did you guys watch...
I hate that she loves Biden.
No.
They all do.
I know.
They all do.
But she's not obnoxious about it, although she hosted all these fundraisers for him and
all that kind of stuff.
But she wasn't like a total dirtbag, like a
total dirtbag, like De Niro.
Anyway, can I get back to my original point?
About Christmas?
Patrick...
No.
Patrick Stewart?
No.
Two... I don't want... Here's the thing.
I don't want to go back and rewrite the history of the things that I enjoyed watching and
actors I enjoyed and favorite this and favorite that, because now they're dirtbags who are
spewing their political shit in my face.
I don't want to do that.
Well...
So I want to...
But at the same time, you don't want to fund them.
Well...
Fuck it.
I'm not going to make a difference.
Well, I like the Grinch.
I like the cartoon.
I like the Jim Carrey version.
Right.
There we go.
Jim Carrey.
That's another person you could say, oh, I'm never watching him again.
But you know what?
I don't want to go there.
You got to set some safeguards up.
You got to separate.
You got to compartmentalize.
Well, there are.
There are certain people like De Niro where I'm done with him.
Yeah.
Moving forward, we're not going to watch any of his future stuff.
To me, he's over the top, but Jim Carrey should be over the top.
Look at his artwork and his...
Who's the redhead comedian who was just a buffoon?
The girl?
Kathy Griffin.
Yeah.
Who held up the headless...
Like her.
Oh, and she learned her lesson.
She did it again.
Really?
Yeah.
Held up a headless after Biden was declared president-elect, she did it again.
Like, wow, you really learned your lesson.
Did she get a bunch of shit?
She's just looking for money.
She's just a fucking idiot.
Oh, look at her.
She got the fucking carrot top's head.
I mean, she's a carrot top.
And she was lamenting about how it destroyed her career when she was just being a comedian
and held up Trump's headless body or headless head or bodyless head.
Unfortunately, there's a lot of people that do things like that.
They hold all these senators up that are blackface back in the fucking 80s where it was acceptable
and it's not a big deal.
The whole thing's stupid.
Yeah.
All right, we're not going to get into that, though.
Well, it's hypocrisy.
Yeah, I don't want to get into that.
So what do you guys think?
Can we compartmentalize and not make it personal?
When they put their political beliefs don't line up.
When it comes to Christmas ones, I can.
I mean, I can push it.
I'm not going to go out and watch the next Robert De Niro movie.
I'm not going to go out and watch.
I'm not going to contribute to any of them anymore.
I'm not.
So then you're not compartmentalizing.
I'm boycotting.
No, no, no.
Moving forward with their new stuff.
So Bob De Niro is out for me.
Out, out, out.
Yeah, 100% out.
Now, if you tell me that...
And Shelley looked at me like I was crazy.
I was like, oh, you want to watch the new...
What's the Irishman?
No.
Irishman, all the hype about Irishman.
I was like, no, I'm out.
No, fuck it.
And she looked at me like, why?
I was like, I will not watch a Robert De Niro movie.
And she's like, oh my God.
There is, but...
And the same thing about Tom Cruise.
I don't mind Tom Cruise.
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
What's wrong with Tom Cruise?
He's a jackass.
My wife is the same way.
Okay, he's weird, but I have not heard one political thing out of his mouth.
No, it has to do with his...
Okay.
But what's the horror?
Oh, wow.
Time out.
Everybody has their right to their religious belief and their faith.
He doesn't throw it in anybody's face.
He did.
Yes, it is.
He did.
When?
When he was on Oprah.
He was going through interviews.
Go ask my wife.
Okay, time out.
He was jumping around on the couch like a fool because he was in love with whatever that
girl's name was.
It had to do with that.
It had to do with depression.
Taking pills.
Okay.
It was with Brooke Shields.
The interview...
He was dogging her.
He took...
Okay, what he was trying to say was there's another way to approach depression other than
men.
Scientology is not just that, but they're talking about having babies without taking
any kind of medicines whatsoever.
They're talking about, hey, my kid's going to die.
We're not going to take any medicine.
He's fucking retarded.
Okay, fine, but he's not dogging other people's beliefs.
He's simply espousing his own.
I don't have an issue with that.
I don't.
I know.
My wife...
Again, it's just my opinion.
Tom Cruise has never bothered me.
I'm not going to watch Tom Cruise.
I'm not going to watch De Niro.
Fuck them both.
In fact, fuck a whole bunch.
There's a whole list of them.
Wow.
Okay.
My wife is...
I'm not going to dwell on it, but the fact that you put Tom Cruise and Robert De Niro
in the same category is mind blowing to me.
I'm not saying they're in the same hierarchy, but I'm just saying they're in the same category.
That's mind blowing to me.
He's nowhere near as offensive as Robert De Niro.
Let me go get my wife.
He was the starter.
So your wife can't stand Tom Cruise because of his comments about what a woman should...
About postpartum and depression.
I get it.
Okay.
She's like, I won't ever watch a movie.
And she hasn't.
That was what, 15 years ago?
Do you know how many movies you're missing out on?
Good ones.
I told him.
I watched Oblivion the other night.
No.
I still watch his stuff.
Hey, and look, I'll selfishly watch a movie too here and there.
Hey, look.
Hold on.
Have you seen Oblivion?
I won't watch them unless I steal it.
It's good.
Wow.
What was your address and phone number?
Molecular.
You have to.
And things to say.
Yeah.
I still watch the Tom Cruise, but she won't watch the Mission of Possibles.
She won't watch any of that stuff.
Oblivion is amazing.
What is Oblivion about?
Oh my God.
It's so good.
You need to watch it.
I actually don't want to tell you anything about it.
I watched it having no idea what it was about.
Is it a space movie?
It's a science fiction.
Oh, definitely a science fiction.
It's very, very good.
Oh, it is.
Is this where he's in a time loop?
I actually would give it.
No.
No, that's even better.
That's Edge of Tomorrow.
They're making a second one of those.
No.
Dude.
That was a crazy ass movie, man.
Those two movies probably rank in my top 10.
Yeah, they're good.
They're fantastic.
Hey, look.
They're both A plus movies.
It's not Tom.
I mean, he does.
Look, all right.
Look, he's a good actor.
Here you go.
I'll eat it.
Okay.
I'm just saying.
Welcome home.
I don't respect his perspective on life.
I totally get that.
Correct.
I'm okay with that.
And I won't promote.
He had an opinion that a lot of people don't agree with, right?
But he wasn't trying to insu...
Well, Brooke Shields took it as an insult.
I think he insulted a lot of people.
I think he did.
And I haven't heard him say anything of the such since then.
He probably learned his lesson.
I think he learned his lesson.
I think you're right.
I think Robert De Niro learned his lesson.
I think he only once and done, right?
Oh, he's out there spewing shit out, being invited on CNN like every fucking week.
And he's saying the same stupid shit.
Like he's some sort of talk show host.
No, like he's the head of some mafia something or other.
Go away.
I take him outside and I go fuck him up.
I go punch him in the face.
He has no idea what he's talking about.
You going to deal with me?
You got a piece of me?
You, you, you.
Me and my buddy Joe Pesci over here are going to go out back with him.
What the fuck up?
Really?
Go away.
Go sit in your mansion with your millions and billions of dollars and shut the fuck up.
I think he's played too many of those roles and it's gone to his head.
He honestly thinks he's some sort of badass bad boy.
Like it's unbelievable to me.
Unbelievable.
What is he going to do when Trump won?
You know, didn't you just hear that Texas is suing all these states and this is going
to be hitting the Supreme Court?
Yeah.
So I just, I just saw something about it, by the way.
Did that get denied?
Eight, eight other states have joined Texas.
Really?
Okay.
Now here's the interesting thing about this.
Now it could be as easily squashed.
Well, okay.
Maybe I should tell it for the viewers.
So Texas has filed a lawsuit against Georgia, Pennsylvania, Michigan and Wisconsin, and
Wisconsin because those states allowed voting or created or changed voting rules and procedures
that bypassed the state legislatures of those states.
They didn't follow the rules.
They didn't follow the constitution.
The constitution of the United States of America says that any changes to voting, blah, blah,
blah, blah, blah, has to be approved by state legislatures.
They completely circumvented the state legislatures.
So from a legal perspective, very black and white.
So any, in theory, any votes that were, that were, you know, that fall under the umbrella
of what these rules are, rules or procedures are, in theory should be invalidated.
So what is, what is latching when they say, because the Pennsylvania, they're trying to
work this up to the Supreme Court and when they got over the, well, Superior Court, Supreme
Court, State Supreme Court, not the Supreme Court, they said, well, we're latching this
and you can no longer bring this up.
I don't know.
I have seen that multiple times in news articles.
I don't know what latching is.
Maybe our producer could.
So there's, but it was interesting because they're kind of like, yeah, we're going to
latch this and you know, this is squash.
You can no longer bring this up.
So you can't pursue this.
Who was saying that?
The Supreme Court in Pennsylvania, because they brought up this and this is what, this
is what sparked the Texas.
I think, I think it's actually spelled with no T.
Gerrind or present participle.
No, I think it's, I think that's the way it's spelled.
Maybe I'm wrong.
Gerrind or fasten with a latch.
She latched the door carefully.
That's it.
You nailed it.
Yes.
No, put in, put in latching with a T in politics.
Yeah, that's good.
That's good.
Nice.
Okay.
That got us nowhere.
You lay hold with or as if with the hands or arms to latch someone else on or onto clothes.
The word is closed.
Don't latch me.
No, the word is closed.
It says right there or the like closed, consistent, you know, closed.
The context still doesn't make sense.
Anyway, so here's the problem guys.
It's from a black and white legal perspective.
It seems pretty clear cut.
They clearly circumvented the rules of their state legislatures and bypassed them with
executive order, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.
But here's the problem.
The Supreme Court can just say, yeah, we're not going to take that case.
That's it.
It's literally that simple.
They go, yeah, we're not taking that case.
And look at the reason why they would do that.
It would tear this country apart.
No, but that's not a good reason.
That's not a good reason.
But they're cowards and they're not willing.
They're not willing to hold on.
Hold on.
I don't think you're giving them enough credit.
Oh, I put money on it.
I would put money on it that they're going to be kind of glass half empty right now.
That's not making me very happy.
OK, well, let me keep drinking.
I'm just you know, I want to be positive about this.
I want to.
I'm excited about it.
I'm a Trumpian.
I admit it.
And and I'm not.
And look, here's the thing.
I would accept Biden if he won.
But the fact that I would trade.
We got no choice.
But here's the thing.
I think we're all in this.
There are I want the best.
There are so many hands down.
So many irregularities going on.
There's so many videos.
There are so many folks that have signed affidavits.
Thousands have stepped up to the plate and said, hey, man, we were kicked out.
We were Republicans.
There's video there are like there literally are hundreds and hundreds of signed affidavits.
Thousands.
I know it.
And it's OK.
But it doesn't matter.
It doesn't matter.
They're just they're just fluffing them off, going up against the deep state.
Boom, boom, boom.
But that's my point.
I mean, what's the sense of signing an affidavit and holding yourself responsible if you're
not going to bear any weight?
It's because right now we live in a corrupt.
It's a corrupt system.
That's all there is to it.
So what's the latest on Giuliani?
He's got covid and he's still good though.
And no symptoms.
He's still good.
Just like the other 90.
What?
What is the percentage now?
Ninety is it ninety nine point five percent have no symptoms.
Yes.
I think it's gone up.
So theoretically, we all could have had covid at this point.
I'm fairly certain I have had it probably multiple times if you can have it multiple
times.
Are you ready for one?
Not quite yet.
I don't know, but I'll drink it.
I'll put it back.
Keep it cold.
I want mine cold.
It's in the right place.
It's in Paul's heart.
Did you hear about the Johns Hopkins?
We're getting into this topic.
I'll say it will be the last thing I talk about.
We got nine minutes till halftime.
Did you hear about the Johns Hopkins study?
Johns Hopkins University?
I have not.
OK.
Hold on.
Did you drop something in your bourbon?
I put a grape in there.
What the fuck for?
I want it to absorb the bourbon.
I'm going to eat it.
You know it's got a skin, right?
There's holes on each side.
I'm hoping that will seep in.
No, it doesn't work like that.
OK, hold on.
Are you trying to make a grape?
You can't infuse it.
Hold on.
Are you trying to make a tomato flavored bourbon or a bourbon flavored tomato, grape tomato?
Neither.
That's a grape.
What are you going with here?
Let me stop you for a second.
Let me share.
Let me share something.
Sure.
The year was 1988.
OK.
Oh, this is good.
Settle in, boys and girls.
1988.
I just graduated high school.
Hold on.
It was a cold, dark night.
No, it was hot.
It was blistering.
It was a hot, blistering night.
Sweat was running everywhere in my body.
I was working at a lower valley Tejano nightclub working hard.
I was a head bartender sweating all day.
Tenderous?
It was called Tejas nightclub.
Tejas nightclub.
Time out.
Why does it have to be Tejas?
Why can't it be just...
De-aust.
Yes, or that.
OK.
So you were working in a nightclub and...
I was bartending.
Oh.
I got these guys that come across the border, and they've got a lot of money.
How did you get all that money?
I like to sell things.
They coyotes.
They like to what?
They were drug dealers.
Oh.
And they were large individuals.
Like brand and large?
If not bigger.
Like short and fat or tall and stocky.
Tall and big.
And they were big.
And they were stocky.
Tall and fat.
They were just large people.
Like linemen.
And there was a gaggle.
Large.
There was probably six of them.
NFL linemen.
Yes.
So they were large guys, and they would do drug deals the entire night.
And no one would stop them.
No one says a goddamn thing.
Oh, why would you be stupid?
So he comes up to me and he wants a...
He wants a Sheevas on the rocks.
That was what he was drinking.
Sheevas.
And he wanted it in a big glass.
What is Sheevas?
Sheevas regal is a scotch.
Oh.
Of course it is.
Sheevas regal is a scotch.
Of course it is.
It shows my knowledge of scotches.
So he...
And so I pour his scotch and he says...
And I hit him because that's scotch on the rocks.
I put it in a rocks glass.
He says, what is that?
And I'm like, it's a Sheevas on the rocks.
He says, I get mine in a big glass.
He's not approving.
So I take the drink.
So you say, you'd like a double then, sir.
So I'm like, no, I don't.
I sheepishly grab the glass.
You say, my apologies, sir.
I pour it in there, add a little bit more ice,
and top it off a little bit more.
And I set the glass there.
And he goes...
And then a cocktail weight just runs up really fast
with a little Tom Collins.
You forgot to put the cherry in here.
And I take the little dispensary.
The little gourmet dish.
And I grab a cherry out of there,
and it falls out of my hand.
Right about here in Kerplunk into his Sheevas regal.
Oh, it wasn't going to his glass.
It was going to what the bartender wanted.
Except it didn't make it.
It landed in his glass.
And I was just like, you know when your heart sinks
and you think you might die?
That was at that moment.
Because he was the leader of the pack.
He was the one dressed really nice.
And the biggest, fattest guy there.
The big dude.
He says, what is this?
I was like, he says that?
Yeah, what is this?
I was like, that was an accident.
He says...
He walks away.
He walks away with his drink.
He drank it.
He sipped it with the cherry.
He didn't say shit.
No, he ate the cherry right away.
And he walks away.
And he comes back like 20 minutes later.
And he's like, I'll have another one of those accidents.
Oh, that's great.
That should be in a movie.
I'm telling you, it changed my fucking life.
Because I was like, one of those moments,
I was kind of like, I may die here.
I have no idea.
That seriously...
Watching that, seeing that grape in that drink right there,
just boom, blew my mind.
That's what that reminded me of right there.
It made a dick turtle.
It did, man.
That's a great story.
It scared me.
That was a life lesson.
Because my parents weren't there.
There was no one there to protect me.
I just dropped my fucking cherry.
Right.
Which could symbolize I was calling this dude a pussy.
So the lesson you learned here is every time you bartended
that point on, when you saw a big, scary-ass guy,
you dropped a cherry.
No.
So did he pay for any of his drinks?
Okay, time out.
That's not the lesson you learned?
I never tapped him out.
Someone else tapped him out.
Because you ran and hide?
No.
I mean, I never tapped him out.
Meaning someone else took care of his tab.
So I wrote it on a little ticket.
Who was the big narco guy from Columbia?
What was his name?
Pablo Escobar.
Pablo.
So it was Pablo Escobar.
It was Pablo Escobar.
Because he died.
When did he die?
He got shot by that agent on the rooftop.
When, though?
Was it the early 80s?
I'm going to go with 90s.
So it could have been Pablo Escobar.
I can tell you what he looked like.
Look up Pablo Escobar.
If I were to see what he looks like, I could confirm that it was him.
I wanted to know when he died.
He was back then.
He could have been in his mid-40s.
He was Pablo Escobar.
Mid-40s.
Oh, that's him.
That's the guy you dropped the cherry in his drink and he said, I'll have another one of those.
So yeah, it could have been him.
Can you give him a mullet?
And we'll see what he looks like.
That guy was beyond evil, dude.
See that look on the right?
He just gave you that look.
That was the look.
I'm not shitting you.
That was a very scary moment.
Yeah.
Did you shit your pants?
It was scary working there.
I was the only white boy in the whole place.
Why?
Because it was a Tejano nightclub.
Oh, well, there you go.
Someone said, I had a friend of a friend said, hey, man, you want to go to the job?
We need a bar back here.
All right.
Well, I was a bar back for like a week.
And they were like, dude, all the chicks are hitting on you.
You're a bartender now.
So they made me a bartender.
They gave me the crash course on how to bartend.
Wow.
You were a lep.
What is that white boy?
They made him wear a speedo.
A white boy.
Are we closing in on halftime?
Three minutes.
All right.
We got to fill three minutes.
All right.
Well, that Tejas nightclub was actually kind of interesting because before we get back.
No.
That Tejas nightclub was kind of interesting because they actually had a billboard sign.
Tejas nightclub.
Come see Sean Cruz live at Tejas nightclub.
That was you.
I was Sean.
Oh, my God.
And because back that was back when cocktails came out the movie.
So my bosses were like, hey, I'm not.
You were the feature.
The feature of this guy.
Yeah.
I'm not.
So you were the feature of this club.
Because no, I was one of the features.
You flipping bottles and shit.
Yup.
Bullshit I was bounce and fucking shakers off the ground.
I was they gave me every bottle to flip.
They want me to do doubles singles behind the back.
Everything Bullshit.
No, it was the real deal.
Wow.
It was a real deal.
And you dropped a cherry into Pablo Escobar.
I'll tell you what, there is.
There's one person that can back this up and his name is dead.
His name is Kenneth.
his name is Kenneth and he's my hey look he was one of my best friends he was one
best friends through school his name is Kenneth's okay that's what his name is Sean
Cruz. I don't know I don't know whether to believe this or not. He was my roommate and I tell you
well we were we were in sync when we wanted like a Greyhound or some sort of
drink Greyhound like grapefruit juice so I mean we had this thing where it's like
we you know how you work with someone for so long you sync with them and they
had these type of cocktail glasses that were they were narrow like like like
this but they had a tiny little stem on them and so you could like flip the shit
out of them and just whack them and then I'd fill it with ice and I'd say
grapefruit and my the bar back Ken my roommate he would throw me a can of
grapefruit and I'd be like behind the bag no dude there was a time where I had
a but it didn't always go perfectly most of the time it did and there was a time
yeah okay let me explain to you time when it didn't go all right it's a cherry
fillet to publish that one went well it was just a scary moment man I'd say one
thing that didn't go very well was this hot chick she comes to the bar you got
you got Angie oh here's what happens she sits at the bar she orders a drink and
she's smoking hot and she's got this fluffy purse got these little hairs on
it like something dead just you know but it's white like a mink she's got a she
she gets a little cigarettes it's a sound like a box of cigarettes baby seal
she opens up this leather pouch endangered and she was a baby it's like
pops up and she pulls out a little cigarette and she goes like this with a
little filter thing on the end of it there's no filter stick
stick and she had a gloves on she did have gloves on smoking gloves it was
smoking gloves at a bar yeah so I take a yeah yeah I take that out they would
I take the matchbook you know how you get a little matchbook and you fold you
fold the matchbook over and you pull the the match stick you don't pull it off
you bend it over and you lay it on top of the strike strip yes okay and you
take your thumb and you cover the match and you snap your fingers and that's
how you lost on the purse and that's how you lost your hair the you know how you
there's a little bar has the lip in the front yes okay yeah so when you take it
you snap it oh no you throw it down at the same time and so it doesn't even
ignite because it happened so fast until it gets there so you can get about five
feet yeah and that's exactly where I was I was like here you go into her purse
and so was like and her purse was like it like went up like a rummink candle for
real I had to pay her 100 bucks for that purse was she horrified if she think it's
funny I mean what she did think it was funny she laughed okay she's like this
is the biggest idiot I've ever seen in my life let's go do it it really it
really burned that oh it was like acetate it was crazy
so you you took you took it and did what you doused it with water I mean with
like oh yeah well right below her was a triple sink right yeah so I just like
grabbed it shunk dipped it really quick and burn half of it first off there's a
bunch of shit in there that doesn't want to get why didn't I doused the fire I
didn't I didn't saturate the purse oh you didn't does the purse now in a I
didn't I dumped it it was in a triple sink you know the little wash of the
glass things yeah but then a ton of water got inside well you got it I was
I grabbed it and tossed it down it floated and I pulled it right back
nothing inside there the purse was was wet her spare smoking gloves got but I
just it was a moment unbelievable it was so funny
number that sounds like no I didn't get her number that sounds like a Robert
De Niro movie I'll tell you what this is not gonna do all the you know I ended up
I had a pair I pay for the purse so I just pulled out of the tip jar here you
go wow I tell you kind of that that is a great way to go into our intermission
yeah I think so Wow I can't top that in all my bartending days well we need to
go back to that story you were talking about when we come back I don't even
remember what was it oh me getting upset about actors
like that let's move on I'm over it all right we're gonna take a break we're
gonna take a break we'll be right back
you