I like how the vegetable dish has a protective coating, a little dire frame over the ranch.
Yeah, and you keep trying to get in there.
You want to dip the carrot stick in the ranch.
And you know what?
And you don't need the ranch, right?
No.
You just need the raw vegetable.
No, it's prophylactic.
That's beautiful.
You want it, but you can't have it.
All right, welcome back to the post show and we're kicking.
Oh my God.
Do you know what I just thought about?
We haven't even talked about this tonight.
Pubes.
There it is.
All right, ladies and gentlemen, you can check that off the list.
Creamy pubes has been covered.
I don't believe I said creamy.
Well, now we can check it off, I guess.
We've got a dinner this weekend.
Oh, shit.
I just spit all over my mic.
Yeah, I can see it.
Yeah, we got to get on that.
Well, today's Tuesday and Saturday is dinner.
It's Valentine's Day weekend.
So we're not going out to, it's absolutely retarded.
We're not going out to dinner and being exposed to the fucking zoo.
Not just that, but just the, what do they call it, the fixed menus and stuff like that.
Yeah.
Overpriced, they charge it.
So who came up with the idea of hosting a formal dinner at one of our homes?
Wow.
I don't know.
One of the ladies come up with that?
Well, sure the fuck wasn't me.
It wasn't me, Jeff.
It was not me.
Okay, we're all off the hook.
But the bottom line is we have to do it.
Excuse me.
Wow.
So we're on the hook.
That tickles good.
Tasted better the second time.
It is really good.
All right, so we're on the hook for putting together a Valentine's dinner for the six
of us and it's supposed to be like as if we're at an expensive restaurant.
And my wife was like, and you can get, you know, son A or son B to serve us and blah,
blah, blah.
And I was like, Oh God.
Yeah.
How about we do a buffet?
Like mac and cheese.
Am I going to be a butler?
Some queso.
Like a pan of just chicken breasts.
Some leftover boudin.
Oh God.
Oh, what I say?
Look, first of all, I think you hit a nerve.
No, it's not.
You know, it's it is a nerve, but it's not a nerve like you're thinking.
It's more of a disappointment nerve.
And I'm upset.
I'm not mad.
It's more of a disappointed because I'm kind of disappointed too, because you didn't like
the boudin.
It was okay.
But it wasn't all that.
Yeah.
I know all the way to Louisiana.
I mean, I didn't go there.
I was never from work, but the wife was like, pick up some gumbo.
Sounds like fucking pick up.
And I told you to pick up boudin.
That was my call.
Yeah, I told you to pick the gumbo was delicious.
You didn't have it the other night, though.
No, because it was we had too much.
Yeah, we had a lot of food.
Yeah.
So I don't know.
How much brisket do we have left?
Good Lord.
All of it.
I don't know.
Well, shit, man.
Share.
Well, it's it's vacuum packed.
I love making brisket sandwiches.
It's ready to roll.
I'm telling you.
What we need to do to start the pan, the chop the shit out of it.
How would we do that?
Now, I steam it.
I steam it in slices and slap it on the.
How many people do you think that would that would feed?
No, it's feed all of us.
You know, did you do it all in one?
All of them.
There's probably at least six pounds of brisket left, you think.
But we're not serving that on on this weekend.
No, no.
Well, what I was thinking is that I've already got a prepackage.
It's cooked.
It's fantastic.
I put all the fat in there.
So it's it's all in there.
So all in and it's already cooked.
So all we have to do at this point is just get up, just put it in the sous vide at about
one hundred and twenty five degrees for like two hours.
Let it get just because it's perfect.
De-gelatinized.
Well, you don't want to you don't want to cook it too much because you don't want to
get it.
It's frozen, right?
Yeah, it's currently frozen.
OK, OK, OK.
So I'm just trying to think we need an event where we need we need an event like a Saturday
maybe on a night where we're fucking off and the guys are doing so we're doing something
and we just want some brisket.
Burning Christmas trees.
Lord, are you scared of that?
Terrified.
No, no, I thought that was fun, but I was like, that's a lot of embers.
For those dudes like us, US didn't know over the Super Bowl halftime we ran outside because
it was dark and I had a Christmas tree left over.
I knew I was going to do this.
I was just trying to find the perfect time because my daughter had acquired.
I won't tell you how, but she acquired a Christmas tree and it was a real one.
It was a skinny one, though.
It wasn't that big.
It was like six foot, but it was like it had like an 18 inch diameter.
It was kind of.
Yeah, it was a chode.
No, that's not a chode.
It's the exact opposite of a chode.
It's a cheed.
Did you just make that up?
I did.
Wow.
Why don't you take a time out?
But he was impressive.
Yeah, well, it wasn't.
We were talking about the chode.
For being a cheat.
Oh, the cheat.
So, man, I'm telling you, I took a lighter and I put it on there and it was like two
seconds.
One.
Instant.
Two.
And it had been sitting outside and I think it even was raining the day before.
So whatever.
The Christmas tree went up quick and within two minutes it was done.
It was done.
Well, that's when I was sharing the story of the firefighters that were they set up
a dried Christmas tree inside of a house and it was a PSA.
They were filming a PSA to show people.
Public safety announcement.
Correct.
How dangerous dry Christmas trees are.
And they lit it up.
They had I mean, they were all there ready to roll with this commercial and everything.
They lost control of it.
Was it a real house or was it like a fake room?
No, I don't know.
I'm sure I'm sure they knew it was going to be damaged, but it turned into a full blown
house fire.
They just kind of stood back and let it burn itself out.
No, I mean, you know, I think they were trying to keep it from.
I don't know.
I don't know if it was close to other homes or whatever, but right.
It was.
Well, wow.
Look at this producer.
Look at that.
Yeah, those.
So they go up rather fast.
It is a tremendous amount of heat.
And it's intense.
It is.
What do they call it?
It's a fucking a napalm bomb.
I mean, look at that thing.
Looks like an explosion.
Yeah.
And it went up quick and it was it was because it was a cold night last night.
And when that bird tree was burning, it was hot.
It was very comfy for like 20 minutes.
I started to sweat.
Yeah.
Anyway, it was cool.
I had to turn the water on real quick.
Just you know, my spidey sense was tingling.
I was like, I need to make sure.
Just in case the damn thing were to fall over and catch my yard on fire or the fans or whatever.
Yeah, you did kind of scramble to grab the hose.
I noticed.
Well, there was a little the flame got about 20.
No, there was not.
You're going to say there's a little bit of a fear.
No fear.
You panicked.
You were like, oh, God.
Heavens to America, Troy.
This is a horrible idea.
Actually, what you're saying?
OK, what the.
How did that jump in?
I don't know.
Yeah, but it was go back to like.
Cartoon.
But that tree went up really fast.
Smelt fantastic.
Have you seen another thing that goes up?
Smelled Christmasy, the burning embers.
Another thing that I find just scary shit is probably why I haven't done it yet is where
they deep fry the turkeys.
Have you seen where the people just kind of drop a frozen turkey in the in the thing and
it just spills over?
It's an easy problem to fix.
It's called reading the directions.
So that's what happens, right?
So the oil spills out and it gets it and it lights.
It catches the flame.
Yeah.
And the whole thing goes up like a Roman candle.
Huge.
Yeah.
Tremendously huge.
A lot of guys are like, I'm going to do this in my garage.
And you would think that's a good thing to do it because but it's not because the flames
go high.
But one of the videos on because it's and then what happens?
Well, it's just there burns forever.
Well, it's oil.
So it's the off gas.
Oh, it's like click on one of the videos there, Mr. Producer.
It's like continuous.
I wonder how many people have gotten seriously burned.
A lot of people houses burned down.
That's not good.
Well, and it goes back to the same thing.
These people think they know what they're fucking doing.
And they, you know, read the directions and they're drunk.
Yeah.
You know, I don't know if we need the audio.
It is in the data.
Well, we could listen a little bit.
Yeah, sure.
Let's do the audio.
A lot of burns and they treat a lot of burns.
A lot of burns.
So we'll let a lot of television.
Right.
Let's get to the point.
We're not even showing it.
So scroll back.
Really?
They show the.
OK, here we go.
That was crazy.
So we're searching for YouTube.
There we go.
Fire Department dude is about to drop a turkey into a.
He's thinking of he's backing off like he's like, oh, OK.
Oh, they've got a conveyor.
They're showing they're showing what happened.
Looks like a large pound nuts.
That is falling into the pot and it overflows and fire goes everywhere.
And the protein tank is right next to it.
Yeah.
Well, here's the here's the good thing.
It looks like the turkey is salvageable.
It's nice.
So charcoal on the outside.
You know, it's just you know.
So what actually happens is that it's the it's the water inside the turkey, right?
It's well, the if the turkey is frozen, I don't think you could put a frozen turkey
in those.
Oh, is that what they do?
They put frozen turkey in there.
Oh, you know, you're supposed to completely thaw the thing.
I didn't know that.
Yeah, you thought and I think it's the frozen turkey.
So the ice and a hot oil.
And if you like, if you have if you've got some on your stove and you throw a little
bit of water in there, it starts popping everywhere.
Well, we cooked one.
So hold on.
Hold on.
This is dumb question.
So you fully thawed turkey and you put it in there and you had too much oil in there
and it overflows.
It would still catch.
Same same deal.
Yeah.
So well, it's all about oil control.
You only put it up to a certain point.
People are too much in there.
Yeah.
And then because you're thinking, well, my turkeys, they don't think about the size of
the turkey, the displacement of the displacement, right?
Yeah.
So then you get that.
That's how cruise ships float.
The difference between the two is that when the turkey is frozen and it goes in there,
it's it reacts.
It's explosive.
Yeah, it reacts.
So as opposed to just having an overflow.
I mean, they're both bad, but the turkey is more of an explosive deal.
See, never frozen turkey never deep fry a frozen turkey.
And maybe.
All right.
So when you do splatter water into a hot skillet that's got oil in it, it pops.
Yeah, it pops.
So it pops.
So that oil.
So so what it does is it makes that oil jump.
Yeah.
And so definitely even if even if you haven't overfilled it, even if you haven't overfilled
it, it'll it'll be the shadow.
So back to the fucking the what are we going to do for dinner?
What we haven't decided about deep fried turkey chicken.
I mean, salmon, fuck heat.
That's some lobster.
He does are usually pretty easy.
Yeah, it seems pretty in the middle of the road.
You know, for jaytas.
I know some people like salmon.
Wow.
Other stuff.
You know, I mean, we could do a completely Hispanic layout.
Yeah.
But are the women folk going to be happy with that?
Well, Valentine's is not Hispanic, is it?
Isn't it more French?
Is it?
What?
I don't know.
Valentine's is made up.
I know it's made up.
One thing.
Why do the French have a monopoly on on Valentine's Day?
I don't know.
Just seems French to me because you think, oh, sit down here, sir.
And what would we make today?
You make some fucking.
So that's really good stuff, though.
It's cargo.
Oh, it's delicious.
I'm out.
Do you like garlic?
I got the five year old slimy thing going on.
What are you five?
I just I just said times 10.
I can't get over it.
Some some some people can.
It's not slimy.
It isn't because it's cooked in garlic butter.
So basically it's like eating garlic butter.
It's like eating a mushroom and it's like a piece of gum.
I hate mushrooms, too.
You just chew on it, which is a snail, right?
It's a snail.
And you just crunch on the shell and.
No, it's they pick it out.
I'm kidding.
And it's not slimy in the in the least.
It's not raw.
I would eat it.
It's fine.
I mean, not for Valentine's Day.
Anyway, we do need to sort this out, guys.
And this is going to be a little bit more planning than you guys realize.
Maybe that's why I'm talking about it right now.
We got to get.
Yeah, we got to nail this.
Well, the show's not the time to be talking about it.
If we if we do.
This is something that dudes like us have to do.
So I mean, if we're planning a dinner, what are some staples that are successful?
So so my question is brought worst is brought worse.
Our crowd left.
How about some broad with some palm fritz?
Say happy.
Mary with the crowd.
Valentine's Day and some leftover pizza.
It's a crowd.
Yes.
And some sauerkraut.
Probably not meat.
Probably not a lot of meat.
Not like a brisket or like sausage.
Not a lot of meat.
So I'm thinking I'm thinking grilled chicken on a fancy salad.
I do that every night.
That's so gay.
That's what I'm thinking.
Probably sube.
You know, you can do some fancy spicy.
No, I do that.
I do that every every other night.
Yeah.
Well, then, you know what?
Don't come over.
I say we do.
What was elegant?
Well, hold on.
Will the women folk eat lobster?
My wife would not.
That is anything that's in the ocean.
She won't eat fish.
No.
It's a shame.
We can get long johns.
She'd eat that.
Are you kidding me?
What the hell?
How does that make any sense?
That doesn't make any sense.
It doesn't taste like fish is the thing.
No, she would not eat anything.
Well, they'll get fish sticks.
She would eat that.
I miss.
I actually miss fish sticks.
I loved them as a kid and I would love them now.
Yeah, fish sticks are good.
I love them.
Well, you know, that's OK.
Lobster's not everything.
In fact, I don't think Tara is a huge fan of lobster.
I think she likes it more for the pomp and circumstance than actually eating it.
Tell people we have lobster.
Maybe fajitas are the right answer.
Chicken fajitas.
I'll tell you what.
The best lobster I've ever had is I went to Del Frisco's Steakhouse and the lobster tail
as a side item was more expensive than my frickin main entree.
They're not cheap.
Yeah.
They're not cheap.
And the thing is, the bigger you get, usually it's not as good.
What?
The larger and older the lobster, it's not as good to eat.
Really?
Yeah.
That's what I've heard.
It's not first hand.
The one I had was huge.
It was like a super large baked potato.
It was a robust lobster tail.
And how much was it?
Like 50 bucks?
It was like 75.
Wow.
Yeah, it was huge.
It was a large lobster tail.
Wow.
You kind of have to masticate it pretty good because some of those lobsters, when you have
that big, you have to really crunch down on it sometimes.
No, I don't call that.
I mean, it was, I don't know.
I think I've eaten lobster like maybe three times in my whole life.
Yeah, same.
I'm not an expert again.
My whole life.
I like crab.
I've had a lot of crab.
Crab, I'm a big fan of.
Dude, what if we did?
Julie does eat crab legs.
What if we did crab cakes?
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
Julie eats crab.
She loves crab.
Crab cakes, crab.
Tara likes crab.
Yeah, what if we did, time out.
What if we did a crab cake, salladie crab cake kind of idea?
Dude, I think it would work.
It's not that filling.
But you know what?
Fuck it.
I mean, they can eat breadsticks.
We'd have to do the research on where are we going to get the crab legs.
Costco sells the shit out of them.
Oh, I was thinking crab cakes.
But I was thinking crab legs.
Crab cakes.
I mean, if you can do salad, it would be crab cake like stuff.
No, Tara, I'm not.
No?
No.
You're out.
No, crab legs.
Yeah, crab cakes.
No.
Interesting.
Why?
I mean, look, they look delicious.
Well, I mean, I'm going to, I'll tell you what, I'll, we'll fill it out.
Why don't we fill out some of the menu items?
Why don't we bounce this off the ladies?
So my question is this.
Tomorrow.
What day do the ladies do this for us?
Oh, don't go there.
Why not?
I do it every day.
This is a...
I feed you every day, you piece of shit.
This is an appreciation day for women.
I get it.
No, it just sounds...
The ratio's a little bit different.
Yeah.
I see.
My observations dictate that.
Yeah, Julie actually made dinner tonight, but I cook a lot.
Yeah, I cook a lot.
It sounds like you cook...
It was an omelette.
We had omelettes tonight.
It was actually very good.
Yeah.
Which makes a damn good omelette.
I give it the best... the reason why it tastes so good, you'd have to fucking cook it.
Well, no, but I have to help clean up my mess.
There can be a shitty omelette that is like you didn't cook.
Yeah.
They really can't.
Does that mean a bad egg?
Bad egg.
But my question is, Valentine's is a made-up holiday.
It is.
And why?
It's a hallmark.
Because you have Valentine's Day and then you have Sweetest Day.
Yeah, boy.
Sweetest Day.
What the hell is that?
It's another fucking... got to treat your girl.
No.
Yes, it is.
Sweetest Day.
Maybe it is for you.
I've never even heard of that.
Sweetest Day.
I've never heard of that either.
Yeah, what the hell is that?
Sweetest Day.
Happy Sweetest Day.
There you go.
Oh, is that where you send...
Okay, hold on.
What day is that?
...and you need to your significant other.
So you have Valentine's Day with your lover or your wife and then you have...
Sweetest Day with your...
You know what?
This is something that I did where I grew up.
And it says it's a Midwestern United States.
And it says the third Saturday in October.
Yeah.
I've never even heard of this.
I did.
I grew up with it.
I can't believe there's more than one Valentine's Day.
Yeah, there you go.
You know what?
Then Valentine's Day should be guys do it for girls and Sweetest Day should be girls
do it for guys.
That makes it fair.
You know what makes it fair?
How about we get rid of both?
I'm not worried.
I'm good with that.
But you know what?
There's nothing wrong with showing some appreciation for your...
Well, then call it that.
Should you be forced to do it though?
Spousal appreciation.
No.
Should it be expected?
Because I'm not saying our wives are like this, but...
God.
Ooh, that was very...
Violent.
...very...
Pungent, too.
...dickily?
No, it's got a little...
The dickle bourbon, which we haven't talked about, by the way, and had some tomatoes.
Yeah, we did.
It's a broccoli.
No, we did.
No.
Oh, we did pre... in the interim.
Okay.
Yes.
I have the information.
We'll get to it in a second.
But, you know...
Ooh, you said pre.
It sounded kind of weird.
Yeah, pre-ejaculation.
God.
I don't remember where I'm going, but the...
Well, how did I know that was coming?
It's racist.
Not racist.
God.
Everybody does it.
Pre-ejaculate?
All humans have pre-ejaculation.
Man, male.
Male.
I should say male.
Why... why are we talking about the...
Well, because you said it was racist.
Okay.
So, please change it.
The channel.
That helps to lube things, I think, is why, right?
Yeah.
Did we have intro music?
Oh, yes, we did.
All right.
So, to get off the pre-ejaculate talk...
Yeah.
Thank you, Jeff.
Let me... we're drinking Dickel, the barrel select version, which I believe we've all
liked this one.
We did.
And...
We do.
This is off of the Dickel website.
It's a Tennessee whiskey, actually.
Tennessee whiskey.
That's a good song.
I like that song.
Yes, it is.
Okay.
So, the overview, it says...
Sean.
It's one of our finest whiskies for the truly discerning whiskey drinker.
Are we discerning?
I'm not.
Are we getting there?
Yeah, we're going to get there.
I'm not going to get there.
We're going to get there.
I'm not going to get there.
It's like all...
Eww!
Nose!
In the flavor!
Would you like some of these veggies over here?
It is aged at least nine years.
Nice.
And hand selected by our distiller for their exceptional balance.
And it's charcoal filtered.
You know, it's interesting.
I told you that they...
Dickel has a half gallon that is 12-year, for 36 bucks.
And it's good.
Maybe we'll look at it next time.
I think we should.
So, the mash bill.
So, it's 86%...
Or, I'm sorry, 86 proof.
86%, boy, we'd be scratching the throat.
86 proof.
Okay.
The mash bill is 84% corn.
Damn, that's a lot.
Pretty high.
Yeah, it really is.
8% rye and 8% molten barley.
I'm in.
The char...
I have no idea what this means.
Char, number four barrel and number two head.
So, I know the char is when they burn the barrel.
Oh, I understand that.
But number four barrel and number two head.
What does that mean?
Is that the level of char, you think?
So, the barrel is charred to a four level.
And then, I don't know what the head means.
That's usually when...
Well, I know what it means.
But barrel, yeah.
That's why you manscape.
Barrel, char, level.
But barrel, char, level.
And head level.
Head of a bourbon.
So, anyway, it's very tasty.
I'd like to find out what that stuff is.
Eventually, we're going to have our bourbon wings
and we'll know what the fuck we're talking about.
Yes.
Eventually.
And I still want to do maybe a summer visit
up into the Kentucky, the Bourbon Trail.
Which would be better.
There we go.
Would summer be better or would...
You found it.
I think springtime would be best
because if it gets too hot...
There we go.
So, what are barrel char levels
and how do they affect the way whiskey, my whiskey, tastes?
So, it says any bourbon lover,
and by this point, most bourbon likers,
can tell you the bourbon legally has to be aged
in charred new oak barrels.
It goes for straight whiskey, straight wine, Tennessee whiskey.
But not every bourbon lover will be able to tell you
about the char levels.
There you go.
There's the key right there.
Not every bourbon lover will tell you what char levels are.
Unfortunately, for those of us already drowning
in whiskey and spirits,
how's that?
Manishwa?
Degree?
Manusia.
Spirits?
Manusia.
Char levels are...
Manusia.
Okay.
Oh, my fucking God.
What is happening?
Welcome to the post show of DudesLikeUs.us.
All the accents come out in the second half.
A little bit more animated after the halftime.
What is happening?
I had an extra shot more than these guys did.
It's skinned alive!
It's alive!
It is human!
It's people!
I was being Arnold Schwarzenegger.
What the hell were you being?
He was that dude fucking putting people in showers.
From Soylent Green.
No!
It is people!
Okay.
Carlton Heston does not sound like that.
That's not Pee Wee Herman.
All right, so my God, man.
He was an NRA president.
To which a distiller chars a fresh white oaken barrel
before filling it with a spirit meant for masturbation.
Who?
What?
I believe you put a...
You added that.
I did, I did.
So wine barrels and fortified wines are generally toasted,
not charred.
And while the purpose of charring seems sort of intuitive,
a charred surface yields a smoky flavor, right?
The effects are far more complicated and delicious.
However, we do not know, like, this is a four.
So what is a four?
Let's see if we have a...
A level, a chart.
A speed read that.
Yeah, we need a chart.
Hold on, 1 1⁄8 to 1⁄4 thick.
Char layers tend between 1⁄8 to 1⁄4 inch thick.
Okay, all right, well, there you go.
Well, is that what it is?
Oh, there it is.
Oh, right there.
See?
Number one.
So it's a thick.
So it's a dark...
So there's a lot of carbon infused in this.
They call it the alligator char.
Really?
Number one char is 15 seconds.
Number two is 30.
Number three is 35.
And the classic number four is 55 seconds.
Pretty badass nickname, it says.
The number four...
Alligator char.
Yeah, the number four char is also known as the
alligator char since after the duration of charring,
the interior looks like alligator skin.
The first sentence of that paragraph is most barrels
aren't charred for more than one minute.
The Buffalo Trace, in its endless experimentations,
put out a number seven level char, bourbon, or
three and a half minutes of straight fire.
All right, well, here we go.
Number one is 15 seconds.
Number two is 30.
I just read that.
Oh, you did?
Yes.
Oh, I'm hearing it, Perry.
Well, now he pulls it out.
He pulls out the race card.
Oh, yeah.
Dick.
He pulls out his dick, too.
Yeah.
I didn't do that.
And he's going to put dickle on it.
What is that pretty badass nickname?
The alligator char.
The number four, which is how many seconds?
55 seconds.
So that's actually very good information.
It is good information.
I had no idea.
So when we go in and start buying bourbon, we can go,
what level of char is this?
Excuse me, monsieur, monsieur, what level of char is this?
And he'll be like, what?
The char.
Is this a number two at...
Is this an alligator?
Excuse me, sir.
Is there a...
A crocodile?
Is this an alligator char?
What do they call the wine connoisseur?
Smally.
Is there a Smally available, sir?
Yeah, there you go.
Gosh.
Or we could be redneck.
Does anybody here know about char?
Know about how?
Kind of like charcoal.
All right, that's just stupid.
So...
Yes, it is.
So this is good.
Way to go, Paul.
So this char stuff is good.
But I would like to re-embark on the whole trip to Tennessee, Kentucky, wherever the
fuck this shit's made.
The bourbon trail.
Yeah, the bourbon trail.
I was just about to say that.
Bourbon trail is what you're talking about.
Yeah.
That's a must-do.
It is.
I'd rather do that than go to Colorado.
Yeah.
Well, I'd like to do both.
But what I really would like is not to go in the fucking heat of the summer.
All right.
So when did you go where it was so hot and they were all shut down?
What time of the year was that?
It was summer.
What month?
June.
June what?
July.
I don't remember.
But it was an open...
That was back when...
And I think they have since fixed that.
They've done climate-controlled distilleries now for wild turkey.
But when I went...
How long ago did you do that?
I thought you just did it.
No, no, no, no.
That was years ago.
Probably...
Eight years ago maybe?
I don't know.
Pulling a number out of my ass here.
But we went...
So it was open air.
Everything was open air.
Like I told you guys, they were distilling like they did 100 years ago.
Open air.
And when it got too hot, they couldn't do it.
And so we were there when it was shut down.
And they were still walking us through everything.
It just wasn't running.
And it was badass.
Well, I definitely would like to go.
But I don't want to be miserable.
I am not one...
I mean, it wasn't so hot that I was miserable.
I'm just saying it was too hot to make bourbon.
Well, you know what, Paul?
You're in better shape than both Jeff and I.
And I don't know how Jeff feels about this, but I cannot...
I detest the heat.
I hate it.
I don't care about the heat.
I got you.
No, I understand what you're saying.
I will not.
Now, it gets...
Again, I grew up in Cincinnati.
And it gets...
In the summertime, the thing you deal with up there is the humidity.
Right.
Well, Cincinnati, I don't know about the rest of Kentucky,
but I know Cincinnati because you're in a valley,
and you have the Ohio River there, and you have the great Miami River.
So you have a bunch of rivers right there, and it gets hot.
It gets stuck in this valley.
It gets nasty.
Yeah.
Sticky, sticky valley.
Yeah, so I don't know...
Like, if we go, I'd want to stay in Louisville,
I think as a base of operations.
So, Mr. Producer, look up best time to do the Kentucky Trail.
Kentucky Bourbon Trail.
So I think we should stay...
I'm kidding.
Oh, I wasn't good enough for you.
Oh, yeah, you added bourbon.
Kentucky Trail's not good enough.
No, it's not.
It's going to be...
We're all testy.
We're all testy tonight.
It started with Sean.
Sean's like, that's stupid.
What you're saying is dumb.
You're dumb.
Um, August through mid-November,
the busiest time to visit the Kentucky...
Oh, so, all right.
Let's not do that.
Let's go during the busiest time.
Yeah, so that says the busiest is August through mid-November,
because I think that's when they start releasing some of the...
No.
That's when it's not hot.
Let's go tomorrow.
Okay, fair enough.
And hopefully we'll make it back in time to make Valentine's dinner.
Well, to drive up there, it's going to be about 12 to 13 hours.
Oh, yeah, maybe we were going to drive up there,
buy a bottle of bourbon we couldn't get here, and drive back.
Which was the greatest idea ever.
Who came up with that?
I think we all came up with that.
I think we did.
And we all thought it was a good idea.
Yeah.
Ben, I don't care about driving.
Yeah, you got a minivan for free.
I see you getting escalated.
I love minivans.
Have we already talked about that?
I don't know, maybe.
Yeah, too bad it has a social stigma.
It does. It does.
But they are, they're very convenient.
They are.
But I want to do the bourbon trail, and I want to do it soon, because, you know...
We're not getting any younger?
That's right.
I understand that.
One of my good friends' mother just passed away yesterday.
So, it happens.
How old was she?
I don't know.
70s?
Upper 70s, maybe?
I thought you said 37.
I was like, wow.
No, no, definitely didn't say that.
It should have been something we covered in our dead zone from the first time.
Oh, yeah.
There were people who've died.
She was just a regular, patriotic, awesome, red-blood American.
Yep.
Like the rest of us.
Yeah.
Except for Sean.
Well...
Liberal.
I can be when it comes to my rights.
What?
No, that would be conservative.
Yes.
Well, I am conservative, but I speak very...
Did they ever find a video of you inside the Capitol?
What, with my new horned hat?
Oh, I shouldn't have made that joke.
A lot of people find that a sensitive topic.
Did you hear that they're going to keep the National Guard in Washington, D.C.
at the cost, get this, $483 million?
Per year?
A month.
For how long they're planning on keeping them.
And they said it's going to cost a half a billion dollars.
$483 million.
Is that to keep people out of the Capitol?
Yes.
Why are they doing that?
Because they believe it's necessary to keep the Capitol safe.
Or the Capitol building safe.
So if I wanted to go visit Washington, D.C., Smithsonian, see all of that...
I think they're right.
Is it all frickin' fenced off?
I don't know.
It is.
They have...
The whole, all of D.C.?
Well, they have, the major buildings are, yep.
Really?
Lincoln Memorial, Washington Memorial, Jefferson Memorial, all of them are off limits.
I'm not saying all of them are.
I'm just saying, like, the ones currently that Nancy Pelosi goes to, wherever she's at,
they have these fences that they've erected.
They've got like razor wire on it and everything?
Well, I mean, they're like the Trump wall.
But they're against the wall.
This is insane.
Well, look, if Trump would have done this, this would have been a horrible thing.
But the reality of it is that it is as sophisticated as we are, the reality of people infiltrating
or getting in is there.
You can get in.
That was a dark, dark day, man.
When we became Cambodia.
We became Bolivia.
Are you talking about the day they stormed into the Capitol?
Yeah.
Look, that's bullshit.
That was such a dark day, dude.
Because the Capitol police told them to come in.
There is some shadiness about it.
There is some definite shadiness going on with how that whole thing went down.
But the bottom line is it was a dark day.
I don't think so.
It set back the conservative, want to take our country back, you know, red blooded Americans.
It's a farce.
It set us back big time.
It's a farce and it's all bullshit and they're coming out with stuff every single day.
They had some video that was produced today about the voting.
I forget what region it was.
Talking about the vans?
The vans pulling up.
Yep.
At 3.30 in the morning in Atlanta.
Yep.
Oh, was it?
Yeah, it was in Atlanta.
No.
Actually, I don't know where it was.
I don't remember what city.
It was super shady.
They pulled up and they were kind of like, you know, it was beyond the time in which
they were supposed to show up.
Way beyond the time.
And it shows on the record because they have the hourly tick of when the votes were being
cast and when that thing showed up, they started like bam, bam, bam.
Unloading box after box after box.
Is that where Biden's numbers went straight up?
Yep.
It was a complete 180 shift.
Yeah.
I don't know if we'll ever know what happened.
We won't.
Too many players, too many powerful people in charge.
Too many powerful people pulling the string.
And at this point, it will never get reversed because if it was reversed, it would just
cause a complete meltdown.
Well, that's why the Supreme Court didn't touch it.
Yeah, you're probably right.
I've been saying that from day one.
They were cowards.
You did.
You said it.
They were cowards and they were like, uh-uh, not touching it.
Yeah, because they know that if they reverse this thing, it would have been.
So I think that's wrong.
I think that's the wrong perspective as to the wrong attitude.
I don't disagree, but you think the Capitol riots was bad.
Imagine if they reversed the election.
You would have seen Capitol riots times 50 in every city in the nation.
But what gets me is I've seen the recaps of when Trump was inaugurated.
They had riots.
They were burning cars.
They were doing the exact same thing.
The only difference is they didn't break into the Capitol.
They would have if they could have.
It was bad, dude.
It was a bad, bad deal.
This is not something that...
There's bad characters on both sides.
Oh, I can't say that because that would just make me a racist.
No, but the thing is is that...
Look at that poor...
We're getting good at this.
No, it looked like I was higher.
I don't agree with you, Jeff.
That's wrong.
There are bad people on both sides.
There's good people and bad people on both sides.
I don't know.
I don't know if I'm jaded.
I don't know if I'm just too...
I'm not a Trumpian.
I'm just...
I just feel...
You want your country back.
I do.
I feel like we're being ripped off.
I understand.
The people on the other side of the aisle are just kind of like,
well, I just want to get that warm, fuzzy feeling that I voted
and my vote mattered.
That's what I wonder.
They said it would be catastrophic if a large number of Americans
become disenfranchised with the outcome of that election
and the integrity of our elections in general.
That's catastrophic, right?
Because then what happens?
People don't vote.
They don't vote.
When people are disenfranchised or they don't believe in the integrity,
they don't vote.
And guess who's upset about this election?
Conservatives and Republicans.
And they don't vote?
I disagree.
How's that going to go?
I don't think that...
I think that's the fear, but I don't think that's what's going to happen.
I think that we're going to...
I think most of us will... I think all of us will still vote.
I will.
I'll never stop voting.
You'll have to.
I voted 11 times in this last election.
I think...
It's funny, but I might...
I don't care, man.
I may travel to... I may go around all the states.
No, you will not.
See what you need to do.
We have integrity.
You know what?
We have integrity.
I need to gobble up...
I'm going to spend $2,000 traveling the surrounding states.
You should do a GoFundMe.
And have people pay for you to...
Which, by the way, they did that for Antifa.
Oh, yeah?
To pay for traveling Antifa members that would just burn shit and blow up stuff.
Or blow up stuff, but burn shit and riot in all these different cities.
They did crowdfunding.
They did GoFundMe.
I mean, that's how these people were paying...
I'm curious how much they made.
They don't have jobs.
Well, this kind of all started and came to light when they did the Wall Street lockdown
for the 1%.
Remember that?
Back... I don't know.
Which one? Say that again.
That's when they protested against Wall Street and they shut down Wall Street.
Occupy.
They all occupied Wall Street.
Yep.
And they were a bunch of hired buffoons.
Not all of them, but a lot of them were.
Yeah, they were thugs.
They were basically hired thugs.
Yeah.
So I'm just... I'm a loser.
I want to pitch a tent and live here for a month or however long they're out there.
Oh, yeah.
Now you're talking about Seattle.
Yeah.
And the...
The autonomous zone.
The chaoticness of the shit going on is all a campaign.
It's all funded.
Even the...
It is.
I agree with that.
The caravans that are coming up from the South...
Remember when Trump was...
They were coming in groves and groves and they were just like,
Oh, Trump's falling, he's doing this and that.
And they're coming up from the South.
And these people all have wristbands on.
Do you remember?
No, I didn't hear that.
The Mexicans coming in from the South towards the border.
What are you looking at?
A really cute brunette that was on the screen.
I don't know why.
Oh, I saw that, but I'm not shallow.
Yeah.
I'm shallow, but I just...
She was really cute.
Anyway, so yeah, I mean, yeah, there's some shadiness.
So Mexican caravans and wristbands.
Yes, so what you're saying is even the caravans is an orchestrated PR stunt.
Yes, they had folks that were wearing backpacks that were all the uniform.
They were kind of like uniforms, but they weren't wearing uniforms,
but they were like, Oh, they all had the same backpacks.
You know what?
They all had the same wristbands.
You can tell the organizers.
So here's actually what it is.
Those people actually want to be here.
They want to get here.
They're not hired people, but they're manipulated.
Yes, they're like, you get a wristband.
Look, if you pay this amount, we're going to put you on a bus.
And they don't give it.
Travel you from point A to point B.
And we want you to walk.
I want to write.
And they don't give a shit what happens to those people.
All they're doing is setting up the optics for the media.
Correct.
They don't give a shit what happens to them.
We'll provide water.
We'll provide food.
They don't care if they get there.
They don't care if the women get raped.
They don't care.
They don't.
They don't care if the kids get abducted.
When they finally get to the border towns and they get right up on the, they overindulge
on the border towns, it gets ugly.
Yeah.
I mean, it's lawlessness.
It's the wild, wild west.
Yes.
And bad things happen.
And guess who always loses in a lawless scenario?
The United States.
Women and children.
Oh.
Women and children.
They're always the victims of lawless situations.
And these people like Soros and other liberal.
They don't give a shit.
You know, liberal billionaires, they are just creating optics.
They're creating a media humanitarian crisis, right, for the sole purpose of trying to make,
trying to make policies look bad.
Oh, you're putting children in cages.
Oh, you're separating children from parents.
Oh, you're, you're creating this, you know, humanitarian disaster.
Well, the reality is when you give the green light and you fund these people to come over,
you're creating a humanitarian crisis.
I mean, it's not happening naturally.
That will never get reported though, because it's, again, they're partnered up with the media.
That crap doesn't get reported.
It never gets reported unless you look at some of the sites, the other sites, not the mainstream shit.
I know.
So anyway, to change the subject.
Yes.
I, Sean brought some Trulies.
But you know what, you got to, you just can't say that.
Yeah, no, he can't.
It's not like I went to the grocery store.
I was kind of like, hell, I'm going to make some Trulies.
I'm going to make some mango lemonade Trulies to the podcast so the guys can enjoy some.
No, that's not what I did.
This lemonade seltzer is to die for.
You know what, you can like take turns, kiss my ass.
So did you not bring these?
Did you not bring these?
I did fucking bring them.
I did to thin out my stuff.
Uh oh, cage tiger.
He's backing into a corner.
So anyway, I'm drinking a Trulie mango lemonade seltzer.
Why?
How is it?
How does that happen?
It's very sweet.
How is it any different than a wine cooler?
I thought I grabbed three of the same.
I apologize about the mango thing.
No, that's okay.
It's sweet and it reminds me of the.
The fucking beer you bought us.
SNL.
He's a shit cock sucker.
Am I thinking SNL?
No, I'm thinking California coolers back when we were growing up.
The wine cooler.
I drank wine coolers in college.
The two leaders.
I'm ashamed to say it.
What are you talking about?
The coax, the coax suckers?
No, the mango.
Oh, no.
I don't watch SNL.
Who's the gay mango guy?
Back when we watched it in the 90s.
That's when I stopped watching it.
Remember you go.
I remember mango, the gay guy.
Yeah.
Is that a thing?
Yes.
His name was mango.
Mango, the gay guy.
Saturday Night Live.
What is that?
I don't know.
It was Chris Kattan.
Yes, he's actually a talented comedian.
It was Chris Kattan.
I think his name was.
The back story about this.
I'm sorry.
I took us on a way left here.
All right, go back to Trulia.
Well, you know what, though?
The guy is.
There he is.
Is he gay in real life?
No.
I don't think so.
I don't know, actually.
I don't know either, but I can see how he could be.
Oh, God.
It was pretty funny.
Sean, you have that outfit.
I want it right now.
You have a little pink sparkly outfit.
Yeah, it's got like a little short skirt.
So anyway, getting back to the Trulies, there's been an explosion.
Oh, yeah.
Of this whole.
And I was going to ask, what was the first one that came out to Seltzer?
Was it the White Claw?
No, I don't know.
I don't think it was the White Claw.
I don't know.
I don't remember, actually.
The first Seltzer alcoholic Seltzer.
They've been around a while, but they were never popular.
No, they were never popular.
So my question is, now you got, now Nickelode Ultra just came out with their organic.
Oh, yes.
All the beers are doing that now.
That's right.
They are.
You got Budweiser.
So time out.
What is the difference between a Seltzer and a wine cooler?
Spelling.
Probably nothing.
Really?
I don't know.
Well, the Seltzers are typically there's not much sugar in them, but I'll tell you what,
these Trulies have a lot of sugar in them.
Just go down to the hard Seltzer Wikipedia right there.
Click.
There you go.
In the hard Seltzer spiked Seltzer hard alcoholic water type of hobble drinking containing carbonated water.
Alcohol drink?
Alcoholic water?
That's what it said.
Alcohol water.
Fruit flavoring.
Again, how is it different than a wine cooler?
I don't know.
Do me a favor.
Yeah, go back to what you were doing, Mr. Producer, put in a difference between wine cooler and hard Seltzer.
Look at that.
Corona has it.
Coarse has it.
Everybody.
They all have it.
It's the thing.
It's not horrible.
No, but it's very sweet.
Too sweet.
No.
Actually, I've never had a Trulie.
What is?
I've never had a White Claw.
So what is Belching Beaver?
Pop a top on that one.
I'm still working on my beer.
Pop a top again.
Great song.
Alan Jackson.
High Noon.
Then you have the.
Yeah, that whole album is a bunch of remakes and they're great.
It's a great album.
Alan Jackson.
Pop a top again.
I didn't know that was Alan Jackson.
I like Alan Jackson.
Great song.
Yeah, it's good stuff.
All right.
So it says wine Seltzer versus wine Spritzer.
No, that's not it.
Wine cooler.
Difference between wine cooler and Seltzer.
What difference?
Wine cooler is a malt beverage, that's what it is.
A malt beverage is the that's what it is.
There's a beer.
Well, well, well, those are Seltzer is a malt beverages.
Are they really?
I believe so.
I know it says Seltzer on it.
Well, it says it contains alcohol.
There you go.
OK, click that.
Difference between wine coolers and malt beverages.
Right there.
But I said malt beverages.
The Seltzer's are included in the malt beverage.
Oh, all right.
I should have and this writing is so damn small.
I can't even read it.
Wine coolers and malt beverages may appear and taste similar,
but in the way in which they are prepared and the ingredients
are different, according to Wine Business Monthly,
many companies that originally made wine coolers switched
to making malt beverages in the 1990s.
This was a direct result of federal taxes on wine being
increased because it was less expensive.
So so where does Zima fall on this?
Because I remember when Zima.
That is definitely a malt beverage.
So I know that for a fact.
I remember when Zima was introduced when I first moved
down here to Dallas back in 93.
It was a kind of a manly alternative to wine coolers.
Really?
More manly.
I'm going to say more manly because wine coolers are for
sissies like me.
No, dude, I could tell my story.
I hated beer.
Well, Mike's Hard Lemonade was one of the first that I
recall.
I mean, Zima was one.
Mike's Hard Lemonade, is that a wine cooler?
No, it's malt.
Well, it is malt.
Well, Zima is a malt.
I'm confused.
No, fuck man.
Actually, I don't know what a wine cooler is anymore.
Hold on.
It's wine with bubbles.
We're looking at it right here.
Does it say wine coolers or a malt?
Wine coolers have a similar alcohol content to beer.
California coolers.
They're mixed with red or white wine.
So wine coolers actually have wine.
They're carbonated and they add some sort of flavor.
Okay, so it's not a malt beverage.
It is not.
Wine coolers are not a malt beverage.
Okay, so Zima definitely is.
And I know Mike's Hard Lemonade.
All the rest are malt beverages, which are
the same categories as seltzers.
Do they still make Zima?
So you saw that seltzers are a malt beverage?
Correct.
There we go.
Scroll down.
So they basically just rename seltzers.
Actually, it was in the other tab, differences between
wine coolers.
What the hell was that picture?
Was that the ear skull pulling out all that wax?
I don't know.
What are you talking about?
That's so bad.
Go to the tab to the left.
It says difference between wine coolers and that right there.
Boom.
We're on eHow.
Did you click?
Okay, so that was eHow.
Read right there.
It says sugar and seltzer or sparkling water.
They are mixed or white wine variety.
Oh, never mind.
I saw seltzer.
A wine cooler uses thermoelectric cooling while a
wine refrigerator relies on compression cooling.
Thank you, Jeff.
Oh, so we're talking about generating electricity here.
And that's Jeff with the tick-a-ticker.
So this is fusion.
What the hell just happened?
I don't know.
It says what's the difference between a wine cooler.
I didn't finish the sentence.
So it's add a refrigerator.
Well, yeah, there's a reason why you didn't finish it.
You realized you were like, oh.
The reality is I don't think men should be drinking either one
of them, to be honest.
No, man, look, there's a lot of sugar in it.
But there's a lot of sugar in all the shit we're drinking.
There's beer, there's bourbon.
That's what makes alcohol is sugar.
I know.
But what is better for you, drinking the seltzer?
Because some of these seltzers that come out.
You're asking if seltzer is better than beer.
Like a light beer.
Seltzer has 90 calories.
The White Claws have more calories than I believe than
these light beers.
Oh, for sure.
Got to be way more sugar in flavored seltzers like Trulian,
White Claw, than a light beer.
You're drinking a Trulian mango lemonade.
Now, if you're drinking Guinness.
Now, I know a Mike Hardes lemonade.
This is 100 calories in it.
Was like 8.4% alcohol.
This is 100 calories in it.
Really?
100 calories?
This one.
Is it two servings per can?
It's 12.
One ounce is a serving.
Isn't that bullshit how they do that?
Isn't that crazy how they do that?
One serving, yeah.
They water it down until it looks like a good number,
and then you look at the number of servings per thing,
and you're like, what?
Oh, that's only 100 calories.
Oh, I just had a thousand calories.
There's three servings per.
Yeah.
No, one can.
Per thimble.
So that's better than I thought.
It's 5%.
That is better than I thought, too.
Excuse me.
This is actually a fairly low calorie beer.
Guinnesses?
Guinnesses, yeah.
Like the dark beer.
Yeah, Guinness only has 4.5%.
Oh, I'm sorry, you're talking about alcohol or calories?
Calories.
I didn't know that.
That can't be.
It's not a light beer.
But Guinness isn't very strong, either.
I think it's like 4.5%.
G-U-I.
Most beers are what?
Five and a quarter, right?
Well.
Like, the stuff I drink, what is it?
Mil-highlight-fright.
It's like 5%.
Yeah, 5%.
Yeah, so the calories, put in calories.
Guinness beer calories.
There's no way.
It's a dark beer.
It's not as good as like light beer, but it's not as high as you think it is.
Really?
Yeah, it's 4.2% alcohol.
78 calories.
That can't be.
78 calories, that's amazing.
Well, hold on, that's a different one.
Go extra stout.
That's Guinness draft.
Now we're talking, 108.
My God.
What are your Miller light?
What is this?
Five calories.
Would you rather have this or Guinness?
Look up the calories of Miller High Life Light, and I'm pretty sure it's 95.
So Guinness draft is 78 calories.
That's incredible.
Drop.
That's the stuff in a bottle, though.
Yeah, I don't know.
So that's the CO2 produced Guinness one.
The Guinness extra stout is like the nitrogen produced ones.
I don't know.
And then to add calories to that, there you go.
Bingo.
Wow.
There you go.
What the?
What?
Wow.
Shut the front door.
We're going to start drinking Guinness.
That can't be right.
143 calories?
That's not the light.
That is the antithesis of what I would assume a stout would be.
Yes, it is.
It says light beer.
Did I miss it?
Hold on.
It's zero calories.
Oh, there now we're talking.
It's water.
It's basically water.
There's nothing in that.
There's no calories in it.
What is that?
That's ridiculous.
It's still 107 calories.
143.
Way.
Miller Lite is 100.
So I say we start drinking Guinness.
No, no, no.
That's not High Life Lite.
That's what I said.
You need to make light.
All right.
But still, are you going to beat 78 calories?
Yeah, it's like five calories.
It's negative calories.
It's like celery.
Yeah.
It's like celery.
Oh, it's 107.
What is that little snippet advertising?
My God.
It's chicken nuggets while skydiving.
What the fuck is that?
You know what?
I may have to dump this beer that I've been drinking forever.
Let's, let's.
Damn it.
But it's the champagne of all beers.
I'll pick up.
Good.
I'll pick up some Guinness for next podcast.
Oh, great.
Right.
Because it's low calorie.
78 calories.
It's not true.
It can't be true.
I don't believe it.
You don't believe Google?
I don't believe that this is 100 and what was it?
It's 107.
No, it's 128.
And yours is 78.
There's no way.
128.
I'm not going to sign it.
128.
No.
This is 107.
Miller High Life Lite.
This isn't Lite.
Oh, it is Lite.
I'm sorry.
Yes, it is.
Miller High Life Lite is 107 is what it said.
I don't believe it.
I'm sorry.
This is fake news.
Well, you know, some people like the Democrats live in denial.
So.
Yeah, that's me.
That's me.
Denial should be a song.
Anyway, I'm getting back.
Are you going to pick?
Are you picking up the beer?
You said you're going to pick it up for sure.
I'll pick up.
I'll pick up some Guinness.
Is there a Guinness Lite?
They have blonde.
They have a variety of products.
I mean, I'm in on Guinness Blonde.
Actually, the the Smith Wicks.
That was eight dollars a glass.
Six twenty five.
The Smith Wicks that I had.
That's right.
The bill came.
He's like, what the fuck?
What was little taken back?
And you and I are like, oh, these are four dollar beers.
And he's like, why is my six seventy five?
So you're like this is domestic.
This is domestic.
And what do you say the beer was?
Love love love.
What?
Whatever the beer was, I don't know what was the beer is definitely not domestic.
Anyway, shape or form.
Well, part of the problem is, is that we like to go to Total Wine up the street.
And every time we go, that is a problem.
We go to the mini bar section every Friday.
It's a problem.
Bottles of booze.
And we always pick up what they call a peanut butter and jelly sandwich.
I'm not sure we should be sharing this.
Boiben and a jelly infused boiben.
I did a vodka.
You did.
I did a strawberry vodka.
How was it?
It was good.
I did.
Well, it's a peanut butter whiskey with I think you got the Yukon Jack Apple.
I got too much.
No, it's not.
What did I get this time?
I'm going to try rum next time with for the for the jelly.
I got something different this time as well.
Jelly sounds well, you can't have peanut butter jam.
Well, that's not K.Y.
Jam better.
Well, I said you did the podcast peanut butter and jelly.
I'm going to do a bourbon peanut butter and I'm going to do a rum jelly.
How about that?
Oh, God.
Why? What's wrong with that?
I think anyway, finish.
The producer popped up the calorie comparison of your favorite beers.
We need to go over that.
I don't want to know.
I kind of do.
But so we go to the total wine on a Friday afternoon.
And so it's it's after work and we always hit a peanut butter and jelly.
I don't care if it's the jelly.
I just got roped in on this deal.
This last two weekends was I even invited.
You get your blow up by like five thirty.
You're blowing up by five thirty.
You walk in.
Yeah, but you're good.
I'm back from my errand.
You should face.
Yeah, I don't feel so good.
See, the problem is that we do this on an empty stomach because it's like late in the afternoon before dinner.
We went over to that bar.
We went over that bar and we're like, oh, we're not going to eat very much.
Let's take 400 wings.
And and you're like, oh, I'm only going to eat one.
You remember the fucking pile of bones, you have the pile of bones on the plate.
I was like hungry and I looked over there.
I was like, I have like three bones over here.
I just had a plate pile of ten feet high.
Yeah, it was a cemetery on his plate.
Yes, that did have some.
That's a good carcass on the plate.
My God, I'm only going to have to.
Yeah, no, what I'm saying is we we do this as Sean calls a peanut butter and jelly.
Yes. On an empty stomach, on an empty stomach.
And then we go somewhere to eat.
But we usually eat soon enough to where it's not a problem.
Well, I would think the liquid absorbed in.
Let's pay a little bit of attention to because soon as Sean like smells a beer, I'm buzzed.
Yeah, I buzz real quick.
I think I'm going to throw up.
Well, let's get some 400 wings in you.
Oh, my God.
So look at the Anheuser-Busch ice pale lager, a hundred and seventy one.
Oh, no.
I used to drink ice beers all the time in college.
That was the bar.
Yeah. Yeah.
Well, we were that. Yeah.
Back in the house.
Back in the early 90s.
It was all that was the rage was all the ice beers.
Scroll down a little bit more.
And are you saying those were super fattening?
It didn't matter back then.
Now it matters.
It did not matter.
No, nothing matters.
149, which is a shock.
Well, that's the non-light.
Yeah.
Well, of course, that's 102.
I mean, that's extra one hundred forty eight.
That's a lot.
I'm telling you, I don't want to know this guy.
Foster's a hundred and sixty.
Oh, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
Guinness is one hundred seventy six.
That's what I'm talking about.
You guys are full of shit.
I don't believe this.
I do.
This one's fake news.
Oh, this one's.
Well, click on one hundred seventy six.
What does that say?
Is that clickable?
Can you click the shit out of it?
I do.
I do believe this is real.
Well, that's the extra stout.
Oh, it is.
It's six percent.
So what's mild stout?
No, it's just that.
So what's the difference between this one and the one we just looked at?
Yeah.
There's a huge difference there.
One's real.
One's fake.
Yeah.
This was real.
Let's blend in the middle and say it's a hundred.
Yeah, beer is not good for you.
No.
Oh, what's that?
Three hundred and thirty.
What?
Which one?
Sierra Nevada, Bigfoot.
Oh, I was drinking the shit out of there.
No, you were not.
I was.
It's like a barley wine.
Oh, that explains why you're at where you're at.
No.
Oh, no.
No, I fully admit.
Can we?
I haven't.
Can we time stamp that?
No, I fully admit.
My craft is not good for you.
I'm not.
OK, I'll admit my craft beer phase, which was about.
I'm sorry.
Five years.
Silence.
I was.
I sucked all the oxygen out of the room right there.
Are you calling me fat?
You son of a bitch.
You bastard.
You're calling me fat.
The craft beer phase that I went through, my fridge downstairs would be stacked in craft
beers.
Yeah.
At all times.
In Sierra Nevada.
Bigfoot.
Every single.
Big ass pints and shit like that.
The Bigfoot they have now
is different from the Bigfoot they had then.
The Bigfoot now is like, they've dumbed it down.
It's like 10%, 11%.
Well that one said 9.9.
9.9, well the ones I was getting was like.
That's a lot, that's stout for an alcoholic content.
Well for a beer, a wine, it was a barley wine.
It was a barley wine, it's low for a barley wine.
See I'm not a beer-
No.
A beer connoisseur.
It's right in the market.
Cause you got, your wine period is around,
if you get a glass of Chardonnay,
it's everywhere from 9 to 12%, 13.
Mostly, I'd say between 9 to 12%.
What, a glass of wine?
A wine, yeah, Chardonnay.
Even Cabs.
You know.
What about Scato?
The-
The Riesling.
I don't drink wine.
You have like the quadruple ales.
Those get up to like the 15s, 14s.
So bad for you.
Man, but there was a time where I was drinking,
I was drinking them.
They were so good.
But-
I'm over it though.
I put on-
I have no desire to drink those anymore.
Yeah.
They don't taste good to me anymore.
Oh, it's not a filling thing?
You don't feel like-
Well, I'm definitely bloated.
Bloated.
I mean seriously.
I'm like, I'm done.
So I love having like one, you know, like Shiner Bach.
Right?
Yeah.
I love having like one or two Shiner Bachs,
but then the bloat comes into play.
Yeah.
The beer gut is real.
It is real.
Because I put on a shitload of weight
and it hasn't come off.
No.
And it was all because of the craft beer phase
and I drank the shit out of that.
The Tripal.
What is the, what is that called?
Tripal.
A style of beer.
The Belgian.
The Belgian style beers, yeah.
They're called Belgians.
Belgian style beers are the-
Very creative.
They're very high in alcohol.
They're very high in alcohol and-
Then you get to quadruples and all that shit.
Yeah.
The smaller the bubble, it seems like the more ballsy,
I guess.
But-
Yeah, that's out of my element.
I don't know about all those fancy beers.
Duval or Duval, depending on how you pronounce that.
D-U-V-A-L.
You know, I used to love that.
Where'd you guys, I mean, where'd you drink it?
Here.
You brought it home?
At the home, yeah.
You bought a total wine and brought it home.
Yeah, I'd bring home a shitload of stuff.
The bars don't sell that.
The what?
The bars don't sell that.
Unless you went to a place like Flying Saucer,
somebody that had a shitload of tap.
Shitload, yeah, yeah, yeah.
You'd find them there.
Yeah, yeah, he pulled it up, fantastic.
Yeah, there's all that stuff.
Yeah, and it got to the point-
The white bottle.
Where I'd go in there and I'd look,
I was like, I've had, maybe not every single one,
but I've had something just like it.
I'm like, I've had all of these.
And there was a point where Sean and I were
going in there, we got to the point there at the end
where it was like, we want the highest alcohol content,
I don't care what the fuck it is.
Oh my God, 480 calories.
Yeah, it was.
We weren't even looking at it,
we were blinded by that.
But it got down to the point where it was like,
it tasted like tootsie roll and gingerbread,
and it was just like too thick and gross.
A lot of more stouts, I was big into the stouts for a while.
It's like putting a, what are the little cubes of-
Bouillon.
It's like putting a bouillon cube in your mouth.
Bouillon.
And a bouillon in your mouth.
It was too-
Put that in your beer, you love it.
It was too much.
I don't think it's Korean.
My body was, hit a-
Put it in your-
I can't do Korean.
I have no idea how to do Korean.
You think?
Can I keep your eye in or?
Well, I'm like, yeah, go ahead.
Put your bouillon in your-
Okay.
And forget it.
That's not racist.
Are we allowed to use accents?
We can use accents.
I'm not insulting Korean people.
I'm done with that.
Me too.
Okay.
How we doing?
What's next on the list?
Hold on, let's back up.
How do you feel about Dr. Fauci?
I think he's a fraud.
Complete fraud.
I don't think he knows what he's doing.
He has said that, oh, we have to do this.
This is very important.
Oh, okay, well that's not important anymore.
Oh, we have to do this.
Oh, we don't have to do this anymore.
He's full shit, man.
He is soaking up the limelight,
thinking he's important, wanting to say whatever
keeps him relevant.
In the spotlight.
Yeah, in the spotlight.
He's a complete fraud.
Now it's wearing multiple masks.
Oh, right, right.
You should wear two.
Two masks.
Or more.
All right, so, you know, I'm gonna bring up an analogy.
You know, they go back and forth on,
well, eggs are good for you.
Eggs are bad for you.
Right.
This is good for you, this is bad for you.
Right.
We were wrong.
This is good for you, this is bad for you.
So when do you call these people a fraud?
When do you call them out?
Or do you call it a mistake?
You follow the science is the terminology
they're like to use, the phrase they like to use.
Yeah, I hear you.
But following the science is very fickle.
I think people in these positions
are shaping the science to the policy.
Yeah, that's unfortunate. 100%.
So it's whatever they wanna say.
I thought she was talking shit about Trump
after as soon as he got out of office, too.
Here's the thing.
I think Trump has an amazing ability
to realize if you're full of shit or not.
And he brought him on board at first,
and then he was like, mm, this guy's full of shit.
What happened to the-
I think he smelled it.
I think he smells it in people.
He knows if they know their shit or not.
The general surgeon, the black dude?
No, well, no, the female doctor,
because remember, there'd be the three of them up there,
it'd be Trump, him, and the female doctor.
I don't even remember her name.
Oh, the one that was like,
I had a little call this weekend,
Trump was like, whoa, you gotta work with me.
Her name is Burks.
Yeah. B-I-R-X.
What happened to her?
She just completely disappeared.
I mean, as soon as Biden-
No, she disappeared before.
Do you mean like, while Trump?
Yeah, she disappeared. Oh, during Trump?
Yeah, her.
I don't know.
Because she was guilty by association.
She wanted to separate herself from all that bullshit.
Yeah, she may have said,
yeah, I'm done with this, I don't know.
She had a parting shot at Trump, too.
Hey, Jeff, can you give me a negra modella, please?
She had a parting shot at Trump as well.
How many calories are in that?
Ooh.
520.
I'm going with 157.
No.
Yeah.
Easy.
So, you know-
Yeah, I don't wanna talk about this stuff.
Yeah, the-
I hate this shit.
It makes me mad.
Yeah.
I think I'm gonna, I still haven't watched any news.
I know we talk about this every frickin' time.
I still have not watched news.
I don't watch the news,
but my problem is I'm still looking up, you know-
At the headlines.
Yeah, I'm still looking at the headlines.
Yeah, I'm still going to Fox News,
and I'm still going to Newsmax,
and I'm still going to Dan Bongino,
and you know what I mean?
And I'm seeing the headlines,
and oh, the worst one that gets my blood going
is Breitbart.
Because they call it out every time.
Like-
Well, who was I talking to that they canceled Lou Dobbs?
That's Fox News, yeah.
Yeah, they fired him.
Too old.
Is that what it was?
I would imagine.
I think it was-
I'm assuming you're pulling something on Lou Dobbs
and Fox News.
I mean, they're struggling right now.
Well, Lou Dobbs was also part of the Dominion lawsuit.
Oh, the lawsuit.
I don't think that's the reason, though.
I mean, because so is-
I think it's part of it.
I think it's-
He was claiming systemic fraud?
Yes.
Lou Dobbs was?
They all were.
He's claimed, yeah, it's him, it's Giuliani,
it's Maria Bartolomo,
Jeannine Perot- Really?
I didn't know that.
Judge Jeannine Perot,
and maybe one or two other people.
Yeah, he-
It's not going anywhere.
So, yeah, that company is suing back
for like $3 billion or something like that.
So, it's a bit of a shakiness.
Yeah, but aren't they based-
Where's the main corporate headquarters?
They're in Canada.
Oh, in Venezuela.
Huh?
I'm kidding.
They're in Canada.
Yeah, fuck them.
Yeah, agreed.
Yeah.
With servers in Germany.
For America.
Yeah, really fucked up.
For American elections.
Unbelievable.
We've gotta fix it.
Yeah, they showed a data stream
on the-
No.
They showed a data stream-
That's the Doppler effect.
From the dominion of voting machines
from the specific voting place.
I don't know how they do that.
The packets that are being sent back and forth.
I know, well, they just track the data packets
from IP addresses and stuff.
But they track them all to very isolated places.
I know.
And it's like, why the fuck is the,
why are the packets going to China?
Why are the packets going back and forth from China?
Why are the packets going back and forth from Germany?
Why?
I know.
And I don't know whether to believe that stuff or not,
but I mean, when Michigan hires
an information security company to come,
an IT information security company to come in
and audit a particular county's blah, blah, blah,
and they torched them.
And they said, fraud left and right.
And they got buried.
Got buried.
I mean, so am I not supposed,
are we not supposed to trust an IT security firm?
I don't know.
I mean, it was an IT security firm here in Dallas.
A Dallas one that said the same thing
about Dallas voting machines.
I know.
I don't know what to believe, man.
Well, we use those machines.
That's my point.
That's what we voted on.
That's what the South senators, what we vote on.
Hold on, say that again?
Those dominion machines.
No, not in Texas.
It wasn't dominion.
No, dominion is not in,
they tried to come into Texas and Texas said no.
But it was the same format though, right?
So it was the barcode and all that shit.
They still got machines in here.
It just wasn't under the name of dominion.
But there was a Dallas.
I hope that's not true.
I'm telling you, man,
I'm not gonna bring up the names,
but I mean, if you win by half a point,
I'm disgusted.
Yeah, me too.
The fact that, I mean, how could Senator Cruz be
within a few points of losing to that dingbat?
Oh, Beto?
Beta, Beto Cuck.
Beto, Beto.
It's supposed to be Beto, but he's not.
He's a fucking Irish guy.
Get the fuck out of here.
Come on.
Come on, man.
Yeah, I struggled on that one.
Yeah, you did.
Get the fuck out of here.
Get some grinders.
What is grinders?
We're gonna do this again.
I don't understand.
Grinders is a sandwich.
Oh, it is?
Yeah.
Yeah, let's get us some grinders.
We'll go out and die pie.
You know, I've already shared with you.
That was awful.
That was bad.
My grandmother's sandwich.
Oh yeah, this is where that came from.
Yeah, it was, and she had such a,
she had a raspy voice,
because she would smoke.
Did she have a mustache?
A what?
Mustache.
Oh wow.
I don't think so.
I just think older.
She had a voice like Demi Moore.
No, it was kinda like Mart Simpson.
She was so stupid.
I don't know why you're busting my balls.
She was from Greece.
Okay, whatever.
What?
I'm gonna stick to German.
Why are you busting my balls?
That was Austrian.
It was.
That was so weird.
You know what, I'm out.
Why don't you bust?
Okay, well okay, that wasn't even better.
All right, anyway, your grandmother.
Grinders.
Well, we've already hashed this out.
Yeah, we have.
We've already hashed that out.
The point is, I just remember, it was a good memory.
It's good memories in that house.
You know, I remember, we were,
tell you, I'll spurge on a little story here,
throw my brother under the bus.
We were, we would visit, this was in the mid-80s.
We would travel from New Jersey
to East Hartford, Connecticut,
from Fort Moth, New Jersey,
to East Hartford, Connecticut,
to stay with my stepmother.
And this is, I don't remember if my grandfather,
my grandfather passed away like in December of 85-ish,
I'm sorry, of, actually, I don't even fuck him now.
My point is, we went back and forth,
and I remember one of the times we were over there,
they had a stocked liquor cabinet.
All right, I have no idea.
Do they have Pappies?
I don't even know what that is.
But what the fuck are Pappies?
Happy fan week.
$5,000 an ounce.
You would be a billionaire right now.
Oh my gosh.
Do they have any Bitcoin?
It cost 20 bucks back then.
So, I mean, I don't wanna make it sound like
we were drunk or anything,
because we weren't, because I didn't drink anything.
You were 12.
I made my brother,
I made my brother pound down some blueberry schnapps.
You made him do this?
Well, I, what, did he, you're like a fucking Jedi?
Did he vomit everywhere?
You will drink.
No, I implosed him.
I was like, yeah, we all did it.
Yeah, he was like, eh, he was trying to be cool,
like his little brother.
Ah, well, like his older brother, yeah.
So, oh.
You're older than your brother?
Yeah.
No shit.
That's the first I've known.
I've always thought he's your older brother.
Really?
Yes.
Okay, I'm taking it back.
I have to reset here.
Yeah, all right, so you influenced your younger brother.
Nice.
Are you the middle?
That's even shittier.
My sister's older than you?
My sister's older, yeah.
So you're the middle kid.
Down the middle kid.
That explains things.
That explains a lot of that.
Super surprised.
Okay, plot thickens, huh?
I'm not a spoiled brat like the youngest ones usually are,
are they?
That would be me.
That's me too.
Austin's like, son of a bitch.
I'm the youngest of four.
And you're the oldest, right?
I'm the youngest of two, so.
Hey, youngest of two?
Yeah, my sister's older.
So anyways, I gave my brother,
actually, I don't even remember giving it to him.
I think it was my sister that gave him the blueberry schnapps.
So my brother ends up regurgitating everything.
Just like blueberries everywhere.
Get his stomach pumped in the emergency room.
Like in front of your parents.
No, yeah, I know.
Look at your youngest son, he's an idiot.
He's so hammered.
You, what?
You fed him enough blue schnapps.
I didn't feed him anything.
I think it was my sister that did it all.
Who does that?
I didn't have the,
I didn't have the understanding of what even alcohol did.
Really?
I really didn't.
I didn't know.
I didn't drink it.
As you're hunting Architeuthis
in your New Jersey tributaries behind your house.
Your canals behind the house.
Yeah, oh look, we found some little green something or other.
What was it?
Big mouth.
It was big mouth.
What?
Big mouth beer.
Oh, Mickey's big mouth.
Mickey's big mouth.
That's what you drank.
Yeah, those were fucking great.
Yeah, and you didn't know anything about alcohol.
They are not great.
Yeah, do the time.
Do the timeline, homie.
It was on the tail end.
That was after.
It was?
Yeah.
My brother was a little bit older.
It was a week later.
It was.
It could have been.
It was really close.
God, man.
Just saying he was older.
I mean, that could be the next day.
It was.
You know, I wonder,
like you guys may wonder,
growing up in Cincinnati,
growing up,
I don't even know where the fuck you grew up.
Cambodia.
Everywhere.
Those in Cambodia.
I mean, outside of Indonesia,
I mean, where were you,
where would you consider you grew up?
Well, my high school years were in Houston.
So growing up in Houston.
That sucked.
It would have been.
Sucked.
So I'm on the fence.
I mean, would you rather have been a military,
or would you rather have been
somebody that moved around a bunch,
or grew up and had friends through the thick and thin?
I'd rather stay in one place and have friends,
I have friends I still talk to that I grew up with.
From seven years old.
I've known my friend Jeff since I was in first grade.
What are you, seven?
First grade is seven.
I've known my other good friend
that I still reach out to since second grade,
which was you're at eight or nine.
So, and I still text him.
I got him on a group text and I still text.
And that was fricking 40 years ago.
That's cool, man.
That is cool.
I don't have that.
I don't either.
And I envy that.
But at the same time, you know,
it's a flip of the coin.
I mean, I feel more culturally diverse than most people
because I've been exposed to more and I've been,
that's probably why, I don't wanna say I'm outgoing,
but that's why I can be thrown in the middle of anything
and not survive.
And I can talk to people.
And flourish.
But at the same time, I'm kinda like,
I mean, I'm very thankful for the friendships I have here.
I really am.
But I mean, it's kinda like,
I kinda wish I had some sort of grounding somewhere
where I'm like, oh yeah, I grew up here.
This is where I grew up.
This is my home.
I don't have that.
I get that.
I grew up here, there, here, there, here, there.
The thing is, is your family has that.
Your kids have that.
They do, they do.
You know, they're gonna-
I definitely do.
Yeah, that's a good point.
You know, my kids grew up in this house.
I mean, this is our second house,
but they were so young when we moved into it.
This is the house they grew up in.
They're gonna remember it.
They're gonna remember each school.
They were consistent in each school that they went in.
And unfortunately here in Frisco,
that some friends move on
because of this fricking redistricting.
But they pretty much grew up with the same people.
Preston and Steven have been friends for,
what, 10, 12 years?
Yeah, it's crazy.
You know, and they're only 18, right?
Yeah.
You know, I was sharing with Jeff,
I'm sure my son's not gonna be happy to hear about this
when he hears it on the podcast, but,
I would not, you, I was,
I had done something to my computer,
my work computer at the house.
I probably shouldn't say this.
You should not share this.
No, you probably shouldn't share it.
I'm gonna share part of it.
You know what?
You're getting the kill signal.
I wouldn't share it.
Okay, the bottom line is that
I've acquired a couple pictures.
And they're not bad.
There's nothing bad, negative, or at all.
Without Preston's anus?
Okay, I wasn't even gonna say anything.
We were fine until you said,
Preston's anus. All I'm saying is that,
I unearthed.
You're the one shaking your head at him,
and you're the one that goes, Preston's anus.
Well, I was just guessing.
I unearthed the- Is that what you were doing?
Yes, because I know Preston.
I know some cool photographs, that's all,
of the kids growing up.
They're very artistic.
There's pictures of Steven,
and there's pictures of Preston,
and they were fully clothed and stuff like that.
But it was just cool because to see them,
and this was like in the 2014.
It was like, you know, six years ago.
So very second grade.
Yeah, something like that.
Probably middle school.
And they're doing what?
Seventh or eighth grade.
They're just playing.
They're being kids.
Oh, okay.
And you know, they had their phone,
they had the phone,
the little piece of shit phone they had back then,
whatever the hell it was.
Flip phone?
Whatever.
Yeah, probably.
It was cool.
And I found those pictures,
and I'm like, how the fuck did this get on my computer?
And it turns out, you know,
whatever, whatever, whatever, but it got on there.
And I found it today trying to,
because I was archiving.
Well, I was trying to clear off space off my laptop,
and I couldn't figure why the fuck all this shit
was on there.
And it turned out someone had saved something
on a hard drive in the house,
and I backed up that hard drive onto my laptop temporarily,
but I didn't remove it all.
And unbeknownst to me, those files, so whatever.
I found it, it was a very cool thing,
and I can't wait to share those.
Huh?
That's cool.
Yeah, it's good to look at those old pictures.
I know on my TV downstairs.
There's a bunch of pictures of you, producer, too.
A bunch.
And I can't, in fact, there's a picture of him,
I was laughing to myself,
because our producer has like,
his hair's like at least two foot long.
It's long.
It's long hair.
He's Prince Value.
He's got dreamy blue eyes and long blonde hair,
and he was sitting on a chair,
and he's getting his hair cut,
and you can see the look on his face.
He's not happy he's getting a haircut,
but he was told he's gonna get a haircut.
So you've always wanted long hair,
even as a little kid, little tiny kid.
I think what had happened,
I think his mom fucked with him about his ears,
and I think he's always been self-conscious about it.
Are you Vulcan?
He is Vulcan.
Is he pointy?
Elvin.
Elvin ears.
Holy shit, you are Elvin.
He's like, shut the fuck up.
Some people can hold a pencil.
Bitch.
Some people.
Whatever, you don't have big ears.
Hold a drumstick, he can hold a two by four.
At least your ears work.
He pulled a race card again.
Yeah, I pulled it again, disability card.
So anyways.
He just hung the placard.
So anyways, you know what?
I wish I could do that, it'd be kinda cool.
I'm handicapped.
You have a handicapped card because I can't hear.
I can't chance right into the thing.
Well, think about it.
So if I park far away, like really far away,
because that's the only spot that's open,
I am walking through that parking lot,
not being able to hear if there's a car right behind me,
or like a drone that's about to fall on me.
Like a predator.
Like a predator, yeah.
But if I park right next to the handicapped card,
and like the handicapped spot right next to it,
I'm safer.
You could just sprint really fast inside.
Well, I wouldn't sprint, but you know what?
The more I say this,
the more I think there's some merit to this.
I'm gonna apply for it.
These days you can probably get it.
Yeah.
I'll tell you the story of the poor lady
that was born without legs,
and she has fake legs,
and she's a para-Olympian.
I think we talked about this.
And she's gonna swim.
She swims for the US,
and she parks in the candy cap,
and people give her shit.
Because she has fake legs?
Well, they can't see that she has fake legs,
and they give her shit.
And she's like, I have fake legs.
She's sweet about it,
and she's actually kind of really pretty.
Is it the one with the commercial
that was in her Super Bowl?
I wondered.
But that one-
So why do you have a handicap spot?
Well, I don't, but I was thinking I probably should.
Because I can't hear the cars,
and if I walk really far,
I could get hit by a car.
So do we have any-
You insensitive prick.
Do we have any outro music?
Yes.
Yeah, we need some music.
Let's end this.
I'm not understanding what's going on over there.
Yeah.
Hey, let's play my jingle.
Austin-
I'm kidding, don't play it.
Hey, look, producer, tell us what's going on.
You're looking at me like I'm crazy,
and I've got to understand
what the hell you're talking about.
Play ABBA.
ABBA.
I'm not saying for you to play something specific.
I'm just saying-
Play hunky-gunjestown.
Dun-dun.
Whatever.
What is it?
Hunky-
What is the Bernie Sanders thing?
Hunky-gunjestown.
Gangdom style.
What is that?
Oh, they're saying it, that's the words?
Gangdom.
Gangdom style?
It's Korean, so I'm sure it stands for something.
All right, well-
Maybe it's a noodle.
Okay, all right, we got it.
It's a fabulous day.
It's February 9th, Tuesday.
So you guys have a great one.
And we have no music.
All right, so I guess we're ending with no music.
This is a tragedy.
What the fuck, dude?
Ah!
I don't understand what the hell's going on.
We have no music.
All right, I think we're done.
All right, good night.