Well, and then Elvis's grandson, he killed himself this week.
Who's that?
I forgot his name.
It's Lisa Presley's son.
And Michael Jackson's son?
No.
Well, hell, that's a whole show by itself.
I mean, was it HBO special that came out about Jackson?
I don't know, it may have been HBO or Showtime.
That was, I mean, I didn't watch it on purpose
because you shared some very disturbing stuff on there,
what those boys were doing.
Yeah, it's quite graphic in the description.
I don't think anybody really thought
that he wasn't doing something inappropriate.
There are a lot of people out there.
That's crazy.
That was a double negative.
Yes.
There are a lot of people out there
who still support him. Just say it.
You're still giving him a break.
No, no, no, no, I'm not.
No, I mean, I can't imagine that anybody
was believing that he wasn't molesting children.
That's what I'm saying.
And the sad part is that the parents were,
they weren't in on it, but they knew damn well,
so they were in on it.
They were in the house.
Yeah, they were in the house.
Yeah, once you go and hang out in the West Wing
while they were getting money out of it,
which is sick. Plant seeds in your son.
Okay, let's see, collections, collecting.
Yeah, what other non-news, depressing topics
can we come up with tonight?
I thought of one along with the collecting thing,
which is kind of, I guess we're all pretty much
basically from the same generation.
I might be a little, how old are you?
I'm 51.
Okay, I'll be 59 next month.
Wow.
So we're all pretty much the same generation, I think.
But it's fun to talk about the differences
between what's going on now just as a general family unit
versus what it was like when we were kids.
Yeah, sure.
Oh yeah, that's a good topic.
We touch on that every now and then.
Yeah, we talked about the toys we had when we were kids.
Yeah, we kind of talked about that.
The lawn darts.
That was a fun one.
Jarts.
Yeah.
Here it gets us, Uncle Bob.
Not to be confused with a shark.
Funk.
Oh, lunch.
The most dangerous toys we played with.
Yeah.
Yeah, that was a good one.
All right, are we recording yet?
What time is it?
Yeah, I've been recording all along.
I was trying to get, look how dangerous those things are.
I had those right there.
Those, the blue and the red.
You have to wonder how many kids got maimed
with those things.
With the yellow ring.
And an indelible eyeball stuck to one.
And of course being 10 or 11 doing that,
you throw them as high as you can.
Of course, completely out of control.
And you have no control when you're throwing them that high
and they wouldn't go straight up in the air.
You're like trying to eyeball.
People scattering everywhere.
Yes, I mean they're head.
Cause the birth of the consumer protection.
No, the.
I don't know.
That agency that basically shuts this kind of stuff down.
I don't know, but they shut that shit down.
So Larry was, he was sharing that he's got a background
in broadcast.
Won't you enlighten us a little bit?
When I was a teenager, I lived on Okinawa,
which is in Japan.
I thought it was in Iowa.
There's a lot of.
Yeah, well there's.
That was sarcasm.
A whole bunch of them.
There's a lot of military there.
Although my family at that was not military.
We were civilians.
My dad was transferred there for his job.
But I went to school with the, you know,
the dependents of the military kids,
like a regular high school.
And me and Rex Colby were trying to figure out a way
that we can get out of fifth, sixth and seventh period.
And they had this work study program that you could do.
So we signed up for this and we became interns
at the American run TV and radio station there on the island.
Nice.
That was for the sort of,
there was one channel eight TV station that logged on
at noon and went off at midnight.
And.
Forces network.
Mm hmm.
That's right.
And there was one FM station, radio station
and one AM radio station.
So they, they told Rex and I, oh, okay.
I guess you guys can be interns in here.
Cause we're kind of understaffed.
This was during Jimmy Carter era.
So defense budgets were cut.
So they were really kind of hurting for labor
and we were free.
Right. Yeah.
So I did that for my junior year.
And it was so fun.
I mean, we did TV shows and I mean,
kind of by the end of my tenure there,
hell I was directing the six o'clock news.
That's fun.
Very cool.
Because the guys that were the normal service men
that were there and they really weren't that much older
than we were.
I was 17 and those guys were 25.
Right.
But you know, to me, they were grown men with uniforms
and responsible, but they weren't.
And they were, they were happy to have you guys do the jobs
and they were, they do just kind of,
they're probably in the back drinking scotch.
Yeah.
I was thinking Stoge.
They were dishing on the teenagers.
Sit with their feet on the desk somewhere.
So that, that was a lot of fun.
And then that sort of inspired me.
So when I went to college,
I majored in broadcast journalism.
There you go.
Nice.
But nothing after college?
Not having to do with any broadcasting.
Couldn't find a job in it.
No, that's what I,
because I wouldn't find a job.
Yeah, I went to school in audio production,
radio production and worked radio and all that stuff.
And it's hard to find it.
It's very hard.
It's a very small set of people who actually do it.
Right.
Yeah.
So you have to hit them at the right time,
an opening, you have to know someone.
And you have to have the personality.
Well, you do, you know,
and I wasn't looking to get on air.
I was looking to be behind the scenes production,
maybe even doing some voiceovers and shit,
but you know,
but one of my issues when I moved down here
is all my demo tapes got ruined.
So I'd go into these interviews and they're like,
yeah, do you have any demos?
And I'd be like,
no, I don't.
Yeah, I was like, they got ruined on the move down here.
So they'd still be nice.
They'd meet with me and talk,
but nothing ever came of it.
So here we are 30 years later doing a podcast.
So there's living the dream.
Yeah.
Well, and this is the pinnacle,
I think of those careers, isn't it?
Totally.
Yeah.
So, I mean,
it's exciting.
I'll tell you, I get giddy every week
thinking about coming over here and saying,
it's addicting when you get these headsets on
and you're just, you're talking,
you hear yourself and just start spewing out stories.
I mean, that's what it is.
We want to share stories.
Are you passing out beverages, Mo?
Yeah, he's got a Miller High Life.
You know what?
We need to enlighten Larry on what Jeff did.
This piece of shit sitting across the table from me.
He's having a conversation with his wife,
unbeknownst to us, and his wife was like,
these beers are horrible.
Jeff's like, we're going to get rid of those tomorrow.
We're going to get rid of at least three of them
because we're all three going to have one.
This tastes like a watered down fermented grapefruit juice.
Light Sky?
Well, I got them, they're new.
And my wife likes Blue Moon.
And I thought it was a light version of Blue Moon,
but it is not.
It went bad.
Yeah, it was a horrible, horrible choice.
It does.
Citrus Wheat.
It says tangerine, but it is grapefruity.
Yeah, when you're excited to chase whatever you had before
with Miller High Life, you know it was bad.
You think Miller High Life is a bad beer?
No, no, I don't.
This is actually my beer.
But actually, Miller High Life Light is what I drink.
But other people are like, wow, God, this is a shit beer.
I'm like, no, it isn't.
It's refreshing.
Miller High Life is a great beer.
I think so too.
I'm not a big fan of Miller Light.
I'm not either.
That was hugely popular in the 80s when I was in college
and I drank so much of it back then, I just,
I got so sick of it.
Bore yourself out.
Yeah, I mean, it's generally considered a cheap beer though.
I mean, when you can get a 30 pack for 20 bucks.
It's like natural light.
It's like Keystone Light.
I mean, those are all the bush.
Yeah.
God, they got some weird beers coming out too.
What is that?
The cider, not the ciders, but what is the clear?
The seltzers.
Seltzers, that's kind of what this one is.
The seltzers are just, I mean, that's like,
what is the base of a seltzer?
Thank you for that sound bite.
It's very nice.
Well, it's just, I don't know.
I don't know how they...
It's coming out of everywhere.
I mean, natural, Natty's, they've got,
everyone's coming up with their own little seltzer.
Bud Light has them.
I kind of like them.
White Claw.
I gotta be honest.
Wow. I kind of like them.
Not a fan.
You know, they're refreshing.
They're kind of like, for me,
it's like if you're out mowing the lawn,
which I'll never do, but if I were,
that's what I would have. It's so refreshing.
That sounded so natural.
That's what all the...
Nice try.
All the underage kids like White Claws.
Oh, God, do they?
That and, if you can't afford White Claws,
you do the Trulies?
Trulies, yeah.
That's the other one.
Oh, yeah, yeah.
Yeah, they're all the same thing, though.
Yeah, because it's White Claws.
But there's two camps.
There's two camps here,
there's White Claws and Trulies,
of the younger crowd.
We went to Kroger Hell, must have been two months ago, right?
And that lady was standing there with the little samples.
Samplers, yeah, those before the fed.
Let me try this, let me try that.
And I was like...
I don't know, I was like,
might as well buy a pack.
Yeah, you bought the variety pack.
I felt so guilty.
Total Wine?
No, this was at Kroger.
This was at Kroger.
Oh, wow.
That was before Corona,
where they could still do samples.
Yeah, God, man, I'm so sick of freaking Corona, man.
I mean, everyone is.
I mean, people are like, all right, look,
if we gotta go out, we gotta put a mask on,
then if you have to put a mask on,
then why is it that we just can't go
and do things with the mask on?
Yeah, I know.
Excuse me.
When I walked into the clubhouse today,
I golfed earlier today,
and I walked into the clubhouse,
and the kid behind the desk was like,
you could see him get antsy.
He was like, sir, sir, you need to have your mask on.
And I was like, oh yeah, yeah, sorry.
I'm here for the 10 o'clock.
And he literally looked at the other guy and he goes,
here.
Here.
How is he gonna argue with that?
Yeah, that's too bad.
Yeah, I just pulled my shirt over my face and said, okay.
So what's the difference?
Is that cable long enough, Larry?
Yeah.
What's the difference between that and wearing a mask?
Nothing.
That guy forgot.
The microns I could pass through.
Absolutely, absolutely nothing.
I forgot my mask, so I'm gonna do this.
There you go.
I don't know why, I mean, they can't argue with it.
I wanna know about the argument about,
if I'm wearing a mask and I can smell a fart,
does that mean that the farts are,
wait, what's bigger, a fart or corona?
Man, that's a tough question.
Yeah, I mean, how many microns?
Cause I thought it was like 1.4 microns
for the coronavirus.
Cause the- Fart microns are molecules.
Yeah, well, if I could interject here,
I would say that your farts are probably
logarithmically more lethal than the coronavirus.
Yeah, but we're talking about-
Oh, just the particle size.
It's like a meatball.
The girth, right?
The girth of your fart particles.
My farts are the chodes of the-
Oh, God.
Poor Larry.
Poor Larry is gonna have to get introduced
to all sorts of terms that he never, never wanna know.
I have a corona mask story for you.
This didn't happen to me.
It was told to me by a lawyer guy
that I'm doing some business with at work.
And this was probably about six weeks ago.
So in the heyday of all the COVID stuff,
he had to go to California for business for something.
So he did his thing and he's on the way back
and he's sitting in the Santa Clara, California airport,
waiting to get on the plane to come back home.
And he's not wearing a mask.
Right.
This woman comes up to him and says,
and she's some health county official, somebody.
She walks up to him and she says,
"'Sir, you have to have a mask on.'"
He goes, "'No, I don't.'"
She says, "'Yes, you do.'
It's the-
So she gets a little aggravated and she leaves
and she goes and gets a cop.
Oh, insane.
The cop comes over.
Like that's what he wants to deal with, right?
I'm sure the cop is probably like,
seriously, can you just put a mask on please?
Sarah, what's the problem here?
Put your shirt over your mouth.
So the woman points to my friend
and she's telling the cop, this person.
And he was telling me that she was careful
to say this person, not this man or him.
Because in California, it is against the law
to use a sex-specific pronoun.
That's right, a gender pronoun.
That is retarded.
I would not last.
It's against the law.
This country is doomed, you know that, right?
Well, if we follow California's lead.
So anyway, she says,
this person is refusing to wear a mask.
So the cop's like,
"'Sir, can you just put a mask on?'
So this guy's a lawyer, right?
So he starts spouting off like,
there's case law in Santa Clara County
that says that I don't have to wear a mask.
And as a matter of fact, there's a law in this state
that I could strip down totally naked right now
and run around in this airport
and there's not a damn thing you could do.'
And the cop looks at the lady,
got all kind of pissed off.
So he gets on the Southwest flight,
flies to Love Field, gets off the plane,
and him and the rest of the passengers
are met by DPS officers.
And they told all the passengers,
since you're coming from
whatever the hotspot states were at that time,
like New York, California,
well, Louisiana was a hotspot, wasn't it?
Washington was.
So the DPS guys are saying,
everybody coming in from California,
you have to sign this form
that you agree to self-quarantine for 14 days
since you're coming back from California.
Well, of course, this guy, if you haven't figured out yet,
he's a bit of a smart ass,
because he's a lawyer, right?
So he looks at the DPS guy and he goes,
"'What is this?'
He goes, "'Yeah, you have to sign this form,
14-day quarantine.'
He goes, "'What if I don't sign it?'
The DPS officer goes,
"'Sir, if you don't sign this for volunteering
to quarantine for 14 days,
I will quarantine you for 14 days,
and I can assure you,
you will not like the accommodations.'
So he goes, "'Okay, I'll sign it.'"
So he signs it from home.
He said that was on a Wednesday.
So he'll show up at his house
from the county or somewhere.
To verify?
To see if he's, he makes his way,
he's like, "'Yeah?'
And they go, "'Yeah, we're just verifying
that you're quarantining for 14 days,
and we're from the county,'
or whatever they were.
And we're paying people to do this?
Three of them, at this one guy's house.
Yeah, like one's not enough.
So it's gotta be a social worker.
Unbelievable.
So he goes, "'Well, here I am, you see me.'
And they go, "'Okay, well,
we're gonna have to take your temperature,
and we have a few questions for you.
Have you felt okay?
Have you had a fever?'
He goes, "'Look, I would have pulled my pants down
and booked off the rental from over.'"
You're not-
Shut up the red light.
Bend over.
"'You're not taking my temperature,
and I'm not signing anything,
and you're not asking me any questions.
Get the hell off of my porch.'
So they finally just went, "'Meh, okay.'"
And they left.
The whole thing's a joke.
It is.
They don't have any authority to do anything.
And by the way, if you read Governor Abbott's,
you know, list of rules
about who has to wear a mask and who doesn't,
if you have respiratory issues,
you don't have to wear one.
So you can just say,
I've been dealing with, you know,
I can't, I've been struggling with breathing,
and I have respiratory issues.
Really?
What are they gonna do?
They're gonna ask now to go into your health records
and see if you've gone to your doctor
about a respiratory issue?
This whole thing's total BS.
Yeah.
100%.
Well, you know what's all,
I'm gonna steer us in a,
I mean, what are you talking like?
Like it's all made up?
No, I just think the government is,
doesn't know exactly what to do.
Yeah, I agree with you.
They don't know what to do.
And they're overstepping their bounds left and right
in terms of legal authority.
And everybody's trying to like, you know,
everybody's trying to participate
because they wanna be good citizens, right?
They don't wanna like further the spread
and make things worse than they could be.
And they don't wanna prolong the lockdown, right?
Everybody's trying to,
but the bottom line is the government is trying
to make things worse than they could be.
But the bottom line is the government is,
I mean, state governments for sure,
they're really worried about screwing up
their response to it and somehow losing power.
Right.
Yeah, well, I've thought about this.
On charter territory.
What do you guys think of this idea?
Again, we're pretty much all about from the same generation.
I think it would have gone something like,
the government would have come out and said,
we've identified this virus that seems to be sweeping
the globe and it looks pretty bad, okay?
And some of y'all are gonna get kind of sick.
Some of y'all is gonna die, okay?
But we just thought we'd let you know.
So drink plenty of fluids and take care of yourself
and we'll check back with you later.
And I think the population in 1980
would have been completely satisfied with that.
But now the mindset is with handout,
government, government, there's a problem,
come help me, come help me.
Yeah, this is ridiculous.
Yeah, it's crazy.
Money going out the door.
Oh my gosh, I don't know how we're gonna pay for it.
Yeah?
Well, I know Preston was asking Stephen
if he was going, if they were going to get a handout.
From who?
The government, because now they're 18.
I'm like excited.
And they don't have a job.
Well, you know what, look, in all fairness,
if it's available to them, take advantage of it.
Well, I told them no.
I was like, no, they're not.
Dude, that's bullshit, man.
I want my $1,800.
I'm gonna go tear down Abraham Lincoln.
I agree, I think it just happened in 1980, 40 years ago.
This wouldn't have happened.
Because this is uncharted territory
and they know, I say they, I'm gonna say the conspiracy
of the left wing throwing stones at us,
trying to see how Trump,
trying to see if Trump can handle the stress
of what's going on.
And they're gonna scrutinize them the entire way.
And they've got one thing,
the TikTok app that's coming out, that's out,
there was like a billion people
downloaded it in the last six months.
Chinese espionage, yeah, continue.
Hey, look.
So here's the thing.
Here's the thing.
Is it really?
It is.
But what are they taking?
Everything on your phone.
Like Facebook can?
Like Twitter can?
Like Snapchat can?
Okay, let me share, okay?
I don't give, I don't care about TikTok that much.
It's entertaining, I like watching those little snippets
of videos going, just flagging them one after another
because they're interesting.
It's people watching from my phone.
I agree.
And there's a lot of fun shit on there.
And there's a lot of boobies.
And there's, you know.
Hey, look, I'm shooting straight.
But you know what's on there that they don't like?
Trump supporters.
Oh yeah.
Okay.
So there are,
I don't know how to create a ratio
of all the videos they put on there,
but let's just say all the political videos
they have on there, I'd say 95% of them are right wing.
And they can't stand it.
Oh, I bet.
They wanna get rid of it because a billion people
downloaded that app.
And there are people watching the riots.
Who's wanting to get rid of TikTok?
You're saying to-
Oh, probably the media, the liberals.
The Congress is talking about it.
You know?
I thought it was the conservatives
that are trying to get rid of TikTok, not the liberals.
I don't know.
I'm just reading between the lines.
And I don't think it is the conservatives.
It's the left wing that's trying to push this whole thing.
And you know, and they're using,
and this is tough because you go, you know?
And it's not like Huawei's got an infrastructure
that is going to do it.
Huawei has the infrastructure that if told by the great one
to, hey, look, you need to go in there and infiltrate XYZ.
They can.
Then that's what they gotta do
because the great one said, I gotta do it
and I gotta do it because I'm in a communist country.
So that's why we don't trust Huawei.
It's not because that they're doing it.
It's because they have the ability to do it.
And what does TikTok have that Facebook doesn't have?
That's the problem I've got.
I don't care.
Well, but okay.
I'm not denying that Facebook and Google and Yahoo,
they're collecting data for sure,
but those are not Chinese companies.
TikTok, everything that happens on TikTok
is being downloaded on Chinese servers in China.
There are so many Chinese things
that have the ability to infiltrate our phones
that we legitimately download and you're downloading it
and you gotta hit yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes,
fuck, you're not reading that five per cent.
Yeah, but I don't know if those are Chinese apps.
I don't know.
I don't know what they are.
I'm not saying they aren't,
but I know for a fact that TikTok
has been clearly identified as a security risk.
Well, yeah, but like Zoom?
Zoom has as well.
Zoom's a Chinese company as well.
Yeah. Really?
Yes. Yes.
This has been a topic of discussion too.
Zoom is used profoundly through businesses.
I mean, big infrastructures use Zoom to conduct their emails.
To me, that's a bigger threat than TikTok is.
Yeah, people have hacked that.
You've seen the footage where there's a classroom,
my wife uses it when she does classrooms, right?
All of a sudden, some guy will pop up
and start spouting off a bunch of crap
because he hacked the class, right?
Well, something being hacked, you know?
Yeah.
I wouldn't want to do that.
Yeah, I would too.
And you know what else?
Well, the things I would do.
As the teacher's really stupid questions,
she's like, who are you?
What student?
Just ask some obtuse question of the teacher.
Hello, Mrs. Johnson.
Who said that?
Dad.
Okay, so Eric Wan is the CEO of Zoom.
In a blog post, he stresses that Zoom is an American company
founded and headquartered in California,
incorporated in Delaware.
He is tired of being, the rumors that it is a Chinese company
with any allegations of links to the communist state.
Yeah, because I saw stories that it was.
So that's good, if it was fake.
Yeah, I had not heard that,
because I can promise you, if that were the case,
there is no way,
I mean, we're talking about highly sensitive company
information being shared on Zoom each and every day,
all day long.
But that still does not.
But the business insider.
But that still does not take away the fact
that it is highly hackable.
Well, yeah, well sure.
I mean, that's just fun, like you were saying.
So the business insider, foreign intelligence agents,
Chinese spying.
Let me get this stupid advertisement out of here.
Agency using online platforms and video conferencing apps
to spy on Americans.
So, yeah, hacking into Zoom is different
than Zoom downloading our information
and storing it on Chinese servers.
Sure, Chinese spies in particular
have exploited the coronavirus pandemic
to get information about Americans, blah, blah, blah.
The video conferencing app, Zoom,
has proven particularly susceptible to cyber intrusions
because of its popularities.
All right, so it doesn't say that it's from China.
And it doesn't say-
So maybe it's the Chinese hacking.
Maybe that's what it's doing.
Yeah.
You have Chinese companies that are hacking into the-
There you go.
Zoom bombers is what they're called.
Zoom bombers.
Zoom bombers, nice.
That's a word.
It's gonna be in the dictionary.
Webster's dictionary next year is Zoom bombers.
One word.
So, you know, they always do the word of the year.
What do you think it's gonna be this year?
Corona.
Corona or pandemic?
It's gonna be CHOP.
CHOP.
CHAS.
CHOP or CHAS.
It's gonna be Autonomous Zone.
God.
Mask.
I don't know.
What's the-
That's a good question.
Hell, man.
I think that's more popular than the person of the year
from Time Magazine.
They've ruined that.
Cause they did Greta Thunberg.
So retarded.
Who is, you know-
Who's Greta Thunberg?
She's that 15 year old.
I am.
I'm so jealous that you don't know who that is.
I wish.
Oh, you know.
Okay.
Shame on you or whatever the hell she said.
Yeah, she's 15 years, 14 years old
and she claims that, oh, she's the one that's like,
you know, has these beliefs and she's been spoon fed.
She's being spoon fed by her father.
Larry.
This greatness.
Well, the best-
How dare you?
The best story about Greta is she refuses to fly.
Okay?
That's a great story.
So she gets on a boat
and she's headed to some environmental conference
that's in Chile.
Okay?
And you know, it takes a while to get to Chile
from where she is, right?
By the time she arrives in Chile,
the conference was moved or canceled.
Ha ha ha.
Yes.
And so now Greta and whatever people were with her were
like, yeah, we need help getting home.
It was great.
So they flew home.
No, I don't think they did.
I think she was asking if she didn't want to be a hypocrite
and I think she was looking for somebody to help-
I'll give her credit for that.
Float her home.
But I don't know if she ended up flying or not.
Float home.
Yeah, float home.
Oh, it's that top one with the pink
where she's screaming at you.
I never watched it.
How dare you?
It was all about global warming and things like that.
That's what it was.
How dare you ruin our youth because you're a pig.
It's such a joke.
How dare you?
It's such a joke.
She's 17.
She's younger than the boys.
I don't see that there's any need to worry about it
because the world is going to end in 12 years anyway.
Yeah, exactly.
That's the perfect response.
According to AOC, right?
Mm-hmm.
We're done in 12 years.
I thought it already did end.
Well, I think Al Gore said we're done in 10 years, right?
That was 15 years ago?
I think so.
Maybe.
All right, so let's see.
What other topics do we have?
Do we want to talk about that?
Would you say her name, Glaine Maxwell?
Gis-laine.
Gis-laine Maxwell, yeah.
She's, what I find fascinating is
she has been hiding out in Connecticut, I believe it was.
Okay.
In Vermont or something like that, on a farm.
Right.
And they couldn't find her for some reason.
Oh yeah, apparently she is very good at evading,
like she's able to go under the radar
and she's got the resources to do it.
Yeah, I read that, it was today I think I saw,
that they found her phone wrapped in tin foil
so they could track it.
Yes.
You know?
Yeah, they found her phone.
So the context of all this is now that she's been arrested,
they believe she's a flight risk.
Oh yeah, yeah, hell yeah she is.
Yeah, huge flight risk.
After she bought that huge ass mansion?
Well, they're just saying that it's not safe
to let her go out on bail, okay?
And part of the reasoning behind it.
Gis-laine Maxwell.
Was that when the FBI came to arrest her,
they found her phone wrapped in tin foil.
Does that work?
That was my question, I was like, you know what?
Fast forward through all this other stuff.
Can't you wrap your telephone, your cell phone in tin foil
and you can't, the signal gets.
Well they make those Faraday cages
that you can put your phones in.
You sell them, stick it in a bag, it's a Faraday cage.
What are you saying, Faraday?
Yes, Faraday cage.
I've never even heard of that.
You've never heard of that.
No.
Look up Faraday cage, Mr. Producer.
F-A-R-A, Faraday cage.
Faraday cage.
There you go.
No, not the underwear. Cage.
Look at the EMF proof trunks.
Oh.
Electro magnetic frequency proof trunks.
Those are stylish though.
Keeps your peepee from getting.
Those are very stylish.
You got EMF proof.
But the moment you have to pee, all that irradiation is,
it goes in there.
But it blocks everything.
That's crazy, but that's not tin foil.
No, yeah, I don't know if tin foil works.
I don't think it would.
I don't think so either.
It seems like if you're in your car,
I guess there's windows,
but you still have a steel roof over you.
You said tin foil, but you mean aluminum, right?
No, it was wrapped in tin foil.
No, it's aluminum.
Aluminum.
Yes.
Aluminum.
Aluminum foil.
That's right.
Aluminum, so is it common,
aluminum foil is made out of a combination of tin and foil,
or aluminum?
It is aluminum.
Isn't it nickel?
Aluminum foil.
Well, I'm just trying to get gauged on
why it would refract frequencies.
But I don't think it does.
I don't know.
Well, I mean, let's try it.
Clearly it doesn't because they arrested her.
You have any tin foil in the house?
I have aluminum foil.
Aluminum.
Somebody wrapped their phone,
and then somebody else tried to call the phone
and see if it rings.
Careful, spontaneous.
So back in the day,
so back in the day,
was it actually made,
was tin foil and aluminum foil two different things?
Back when we were growing up?
I don't know.
I don't know either.
Because I called it tin foil,
but was it actually made out of something different
than it is today?
When you look on the box,
it says aluminum foil.
There you go.
Tin foil is stiffer than aluminum foil.
It's more excited.
It's like tin taste.
Because it's usually going to receive some meat.
Oh, nice.
Wow, this went bad in a hurry.
The first audio recordings on a phonograph cylinders
are made on tin foil.
Okay, so it was largely replaced by aluminum foil.
So yeah.
Because of the flavor.
They gave it a flavor.
Oh yeah, I wonder if that tin caused cancer agents
to manifest inside the food.
Kind of leached out.
A slight tin taste.
Kind of like beer cans.
Kind of metallic.
Got that slight plastic insert.
You know, there's a plastic lining in.
We've already covered this.
We had a debate about bottles versus cans.
And apparently there is some plastic insert
that when you,
what do you do to the can to make it do that?
You had to bleach it in acid for all the.
It's like you expose it to as a muriatic acid
and the aluminum outside the can will dissolve,
leaving the plastic condom that is
inside the can, just leaves it.
So it's still, they take a Coke or whatever.
Kind of gross.
Put it in this chemical and it dissolves all the metal
around the can and you're left with a sack.
With a sack.
Nice little scrotum of cola.
So I bet you they do that
because you got to adhere the metal to something, right?
When they're forming the cans, obviously.
I think it has to do with the freshness.
Well, it has to do with the corrosion of the metal.
I think it has to do with the taste.
I think probably both.
Whether it's a can of beans or a can of beer,
they have to have that.
Corrosion is the primary reason
because it will oxidize and it,
what is, when you damage a can,
you get block, God bless it.
What is the name of it?
When you get a crushed can, you don't buy it
because you may get this sickness.
Block.
Well, no, there you go there.
Okay, so it's not, there's not.
Botulism, that's what I was thinking.
There's not metal on both sides of the plastic.
The plastic is on the inside of the can.
Correct.
And that's the barrier between the product and the metal.
Yeah, it's to protect it from.
Probably because the Coke would eat the aluminum.
There you go.
Well, all the chemicals, both.
Right.
Yeah, there you go.
Because it's got acid in it.
And the preservatives.
Now the can, like a can of beans or green beans
or any of that stuff, that's a different type of can.
That's.
That's not aluminum.
Plus those are still.
What is that made out of?
It must be tin.
Tin.
A tin can.
Yeah, maybe.
It's made out of strontium.
Chromium.
What the hell is that?
Titanium, chromium.
Strontium?
What is that?
Cliff Clavinism, you're just spewing over there?
Periodic table.
I seem to recall out of the bowels of my brain
an episode of how it's made of canning beans and corn.
Okay.
And I thought they sprayed some kind of.
Like a lacquer or a shellac or something
on the inside of the can to prevent can flavor
from getting into the food.
Yes, it's lying with something.
Oh, how they keep that from getting into the food.
Plutonium.
That I don't know.
Plutonium.
See, there's some things we don't want to know.
I guess why I won't watch the documentary Food.
Is it called Food?
It's that stuff that makes our guts swell.
Yeah.
We ingest it and it only goes here.
Goes in our stomach and it's like,
it makes the whole, this cavity just like.
Well, that's just eating.
That's called eating shit all the time.
Like yeast.
Yeah.
Too many ass rules.
Oh man, this COVID-19 is making me even more fat.
And I know we don't have an excuse
because we can log onto the website,
we can go to the gym.
I did.
Fuck off.
We do all sorts of stuff.
Fuck off.
I had to go to a funeral, all right?
Frickin' excuse.
And you went to the gym once.
You could have done pushups while you were there.
There you go.
There really is no excuse.
I mean, for all of us.
No, no, no, I got the COVID-19 too, dude.
I got easily 19 pounds out of this
the last three or four months.
19?
Yeah.
I was down to, yeah, I was down to 193
and now I'm well over 210.
When all the restaurants were closed,
did you guys do a lot of takeout
or did you do a lot more cooking at home?
No, we just cooked at home.
Yeah.
Yeah, sort of.
And we've got to stuck with that.
Sean and I have gotten into sous vide.
I'm sure Paul loves this topic.
Getting into sous vide,
I don't know if you're familiar with that.
Have I shared with you this?
I think I have, right?
Is this the heat the meat in the water thing?
Yes.
Boil the food.
It is tremendous.
Really?
It sounds retarded.
It's hitting me.
Oh, it's super.
What do you mean?
No.
It's hitting me.
No, no.
The hamburgers were kind of a mess.
Actually, those were pretty good, I thought.
I thought they were too, but I was just.
Well, I know some people didn't like them.
Well, she was scared.
She was kind of, please don't, I'm just scared.
I'm gonna get, who was that?
Liz.
Oh, that was Liz.
Liz.
Yeah, she was concerned that we were gonna get E. coli
or something, it wasn't gonna cook it out.
Well, but you know what?
She, later she was like, when she saw it
and she realized kind of, yeah, she was fine.
Yeah.
No, a lot.
I thought they tasted fantastic.
They did, they were good.
It tasted like a little.
Meatloaf.
Tender meatloaf, it was.
And a lot of the fine steak houses,
that's how they cook their steaks.
Really.
Yeah.
Yes.
That's exactly how they cook it.
You want a steak medium rare?
Guess what?
They can cook that steak for 10 hours
at 135 degrees-ish, and it'll be medium rare.
And that's how, that's the temperature.
I mean, if you want a medium well, raise it up to 140.
And when you order your steak,
what would you like medium rare?
No problem, it'll be right back, it'll be right out.
And the longer it's in that thing,
the better it's gonna taste.
They pull it out and they put it on a hot ass,
they put it in their little sear machine.
Sear it.
Put their little butter on it.
Please and thank you.
That is an Indian American pale ale.
You want something a little bit lighter, high life?
That'd be great.
Why don't you pass them over there?
We also have some Estelle.
Well, this isn't white.
No, Stella.
This is just Miller.
Whatever.
Stella, Stella.
Miller high life, man.
Yeah, the sous vide, we really got into, still am.
I did it last night, as a matter of fact,
I made a couple chicken breasts.
And they look nasty as hell when you first pull them out,
and then you put them on a pan, you sear it,
sear it, perfectly done.
Yeah, because you vacuum pack them first.
And when you vacuum pack them,
they've got that, depending on the bag that you got,
they've got the little grid cross.
So when you suck it, it adheres to the chicken.
So when you cut the bag open, you release it.
Of course, Jeff does his a little bit different.
His, I think, ultimately probably tastes better.
Mine tastes almost as good, but mine's ready to go.
So.
Mine's better than mine.
Yeah, so basically what I do is like,
when I do a pork loin, I take the entire pork loin,
this fricking three foot monstrosity.
Big horse peanut.
Season the shit out of it,
stuff it in one of those little bags,
suck it until it's all, suck the air out of it,
seal it down, and of all things,
I put it in my kitchen sink.
I put it in my kitchen sink, and I take my sous vide
and clamp it into the metal little bar, the center bar,
and I put that thing on 140 degrees.
And I usually do it, or I try to do it as late as possible.
Early as possible or late as possible.
Either I wake up at two in the morning, I take it out,
or I put it in and let it cook for like six hours.
But you recently did one.
Did you put those all in the freezer?
I've done like six.
And.
Did you have one that's like still out there?
Well.
Or did you eat it?
They're, okay, so the one I just did was in the refrigerator.
So let me finish with the process.
So I cook it in the sink, and then I take it out.
When it's done cooking, usually, hopefully about six hours,
I take it, I put it in the fridge, and straighten it all out
so it gets all nice and stiff.
And let it sit in there for, you know, two days-ish.
And then I take it out of the fridge, open the bag up,
I stick it in, wash it off, get all the jelly.
Yeah.
Jelly.
I don't know if you read it.
I get all the jelly and the crap off, the nasty shit.
From Paul's ass.
And then I slice it, and it's like little half inch slices
all the way down.
And I lay them all out, and I put them in smaller bags.
You know, re-seal them.
Yeah, put them in smaller bags, re-seal it,
and I'm telling you, they're cooked, they're ready to go.
So for lunch, I don't have to sit there and fuck around.
I just basically take a skillet.
And just pan fry it.
And I sear it.
And it's probably a minute on each side,
and I put it in the microwave for another 30 seconds,
and it's done.
I can add whatever flavor I want.
It's already pre-seasoned.
It's got a good base to it.
The kids love it.
Nice, because it's ready to go.
Jeff does his different.
Jeff, why don't you explain how you make yours?
Well, I do mine.
I keep them.
I keep it raw.
So I do it to order, right?
And I think that's probably, I think they turn out
probably a little bit juicier.
So I vacuum all the meat raw, and I'll season it,
and I'll stick it in the freezer.
So when we want chicken, I pulled it out,
thawed it, and I just throw it in there,
cooked for a couple hours in the sous vide,
and then I pull it out, and then I just sear it, done.
And then we eat it for that night.
So it takes a little bit longer than not as instant meals
like Sean's.
Instant meals, yeah.
But I think the quality, like the chicken, I think,
is probably moister than if you reheat it.
Yeah, but that's also a learning curve, too,
because I've learned that if I take it out of the freezer
and I boil it, when you boil it, it actually makes it drier.
Because you keep cooking it.
Yeah, so what you do is you take it out of the freezer,
and you just set it there.
Let it get to room temperature, and then just
throw it in the skillet.
Don't boil it.
I mean, that was the mistake I was making.
All right, this is probably boring shit out of Larry.
Can somebody pass me the revolver
so I can shoot myself?
Well, hey, when you're done with it, can you give it to me?
God.
So anyways, COVID-19, the whole thing.
We've been doing this.
You asked a question.
Yeah, so as far as eating healthier, I mean, it does.
I mean, you wouldn't think it.
God bless.
But I'm thinking, if we weren't eating this healthy,
I'm thinking I'd be two times bigger.
I don't eat that bad.
I don't.
I mean, it's just like a couple of times a week,
I'll have a burger.
And I think it's mostly the booze.
That'll do it to you.
I tell you what, the whole nation, I think.
I would be interested to know what the alcohol sales
increase is in the United States.
I think that's one industry that's doing well.
It's got to be up big time.
I think people are drinking way.
Yes.
And they're stressed out, right?
I mean, a lot of people drink to just escape the stress
and the uncertainty and the craziness that's
going on in the news and all that kind of shit, right?
Yeah, I think people are drinking like way more
than they did before.
38.6%.
That's the percent increase in sales?
Yep.
Sales rose by 38.6%.
Wow.
That's pretty impressive.
That's a lot.
Tremendous.
That tells you what you need to know right there.
That's crazy.
Because I tell you, I'm drinking way more.
Do you guys with your wives or family, non-COVID time,
do you all eat out a lot?
Sell them every now and then?
Before COVID hit you mean?
Yeah.
No, we've never been a big eat out family.
My wife likes to eat out.
I don't.
She orders a lot of food for delivery.
Let's put it that way.
I'm more of a home cooker.
I'd like to cook food.
But she loves ordering food.
Like DoorDash?
Yeah, something like that.
Joe's.
Or Shawn Dash.
Shawn Dash.
Yeah.
I've not heard of that company.
It's not uncommon for me to go up to Macaroni Grill
and slam down two bourbons while waiting for an order.
Well, no wonder your family meals cost so much.
You're burning $20 in booze while you're waiting.
The secret is to go before the happy hour program ends.
They've got a fantastic deal on their well bourbon.
Really?
Jack Daniels.
Nice.
For their well.
And Macaroni Grill.
Macaroni Grill.
Own it.
Who knew?
Very nice.
Before 7.
OK.
Sometimes you can have a shrimp parfait.
So you get there at 2?
Shrimp parfait?
Yeah.
You know, if you play your cards right,
you can order a shrimp parfait.
It's included in the happy hour program.
Is that like a dessert?
Shrimp parfait?
It looks like a little shrimp cocktail thing.
That's exactly what it is.
It's a cocktail sauce.
Like diced up to me.
Not a parfait.
Shrimp parfait.
Sounds like you've done this a couple or hundreds of times.
I've done it.
It's 899.
Interesting.
Very happy hour.
Yeah.
We usually go out to eat probably maybe twice a week,
sometimes three times a week, once during the week
or something like that.
But man, when the COVID thing hit and everything
was shut down, my wife and I were,
we were shocked at ourselves on how much we rely on going out
to eat as our entertainment.
Yeah.
People watching and the whole experience.
Yeah, you get one or two other couples,
you go out to dinner someplace, have a few drinks,
yuck it up a little bit.
Well, that was all over.
Yeah.
That was all done.
What do we do now?
Yeah.
You know what you do now?
You drink.
I'm telling you.
I mean, this all feeds into it.
And then we would do the takeout stuff from restaurant.
Like Sean was talking about macaroni grill or chilies
or whatever else.
Yeah.
I don't know, man.
It's just not the same.
I agree.
It's not.
You got it in this styrofoam thing.
By the time you get home, it's cold.
It's a deal breaker.
It's just, yeah.
We just had this discussion.
French fries.
Yeah, I agree with you 100%.
If I have a choice, but you know what?
My wife likes it.
It's all that matters.
There you go.
And the end result's to save your fool.
I'm with you, though.
I mean, it's getting out of the house.
Sure.
It's being in a restaurant.
I mean, the food is not amazing.
That's not why you, you know what I mean?
It's something to do.
It's to go someplace and see other human beings.
Even now with the, what is it now, 50% capacity?
Is that what the rule is?
Yeah.
Well, it's going back and forth.
Even now with kind of sparse seating and the rest,
it's still kind of weird.
Yeah.
The essence of it's so clinical.
You know, it just, the Russell bustle's different.
Not to mention your waiters and waitresses all have these things
over their masks.
You can't understand what the hell they're saying.
And they're bitter.
Well, they are.
They're bitter.
Hey, look, we went to go eat at Austin, where we go,
the original pancake house.
My wife's grandmother had passed away and the great Mimi.
So you went out to eat?
After the service.
After the funeral.
Yeah, because they were going to have a,
it's kind of difficult to bring all the family members in
to have a big family feast.
So we just, we were on our way home from Irving.
And we were like, because this is the first time we had all
my kids in the same vehicle.
Oh, yeah.
For such a long time.
Madeline was with us.
Yeah, they've left the nest.
It was crazy.
And then I was like, let's go.
No, we're going to go eat.
Because they were kind of like, yeah, shut up.
You guys are all in the fucking car.
We're all going to go eat because this is not
going to happen again.
Right.
For a very long time.
So we went to go eat at the original pancake house.
And the service was good.
But you could tell there was an air of disgust with her.
That you were there eating?
No, that she's just bitter with life
because she doesn't know what's going
to happen from day to day.
She's happy she has a job.
But it's just like, and we ended up
tipping her a lot for what she did.
Because it's got to be tough for them.
I'm very thankful that both my wife and I have essential jobs.
And we're both busy as shit.
And we're both, we're making money.
But these other people, I feel bad.
Yeah.
It's a horrible, horrible thing that they're
having to go through.
Yeah, everybody's on edge, man.
Everybody's on edge with everything that's going on.
They're sick of COVID.
They're sick of the lockdown thing.
They're sick of the unrest.
There's a lot of shit going on right now.
Man, if these schools don't open up come fall.
I'm telling you.
Oh my god.
Oh lord.
It's going to be mayhem.
My wife's a teacher.
And they still don't know what they're going to do.
They haven't made the official announcement
if they're going to be in class or a mix of in class, remote,
or all remote.
They still don't know yet.
Yeah, I read a story today.
One of the big school districts in California
said that when they did the full online,
they finished the school year online,
they said it was a complete failure.
Oh, I believe it.
100% failure.
In terms of what the kids learned,
how well the teachers did in teaching,
I mean, it absolutely did not work.
I believe it.
My kids finished school and they didn't do shit.
No, they didn't.
Stephen.
They didn't do anything.
Stephen's a senior.
Preston's a senior.
His son's a senior.
And they didn't do crap the last six weeks.
And the teachers couldn't have cared less.
You know, but to be honest, well.
To be fair.
That was gay.
So.
You watched Leonard Kenney?
Who?
Leonard Kenney.
Larry is mortified right now.
He's kind of like, what the fuck did I get myself into?
No, no, he's just thinking one and done.
Right.
Yeah.
I thought I had a nickel.
So what was I saying?
You said to be fair.
And then we started singing.
And before that, we were talking about school,
about how the seniors didn't do shit.
The seniors don't do shit anyways the last semester.
OK, very true.
So that's very true.
When I was a senior, when we were seniors, you went to school.
You had a full load.
Until the last fucking day.
There was none of this shit.
You worked your ass off all six periods, eight periods,
however periods you had, until the end of the school year.
And when the end of the school year was done, you were done.
OK?
Now, the last six months, it's a cakewalk.
They're like, I get to sleep in until 10.
I go to one class, and then I leave
for the rest of the day.
That is bullshit.
I remember.
Why are we, we're grooming our kids for failure.
I don't understand that.
Because when we went to high school,
if you had modified school hours,
it was because you got a hardship,
and you were able to leave school early to go work.
Yeah, exactly right.
I've bitched so much to my wife about this
that they don't have finals.
There's no finals.
Like ever?
Or just for the seniors?
No, there's no finals.
For the seniors?
Or any of them?
None of them.
Every class, the boys do not have finals.
They have a star test.
I think this is a conspiracy to dumb the kids down
in the United States, I think it is.
What, for China to take us over?
I don't know.
I don't know where it's coming from.
It's just a fact that I'm not talking about the conspiracy.
I'm talking about it's just a fact
that the kids are getting stupid.
Less educated.
They're getting less educated, and it's
just the quality of the stuff that they're not teaching them.
They don't know about a lot of things.
A lot of things.
They don't know about the history of the United States.
I know.
It's unbelievable.
Tearing down, they don't know the statues
they're tearing down.
I mean, it's embarrassing.
And we don't know about contemporary world affairs.
And when you hear some of the interviews of some
of the children or the teenagers in some
of the other countries, and they bring up a particular subject
like the Tonight Show, they'll interview people.
And they'll ask them questions about contemporary world affairs
to see if they know how to answer the question correctly.
And they get some European person
on that speaks English.
And they're kind of like, yeah, I
wasn't taught here in the United States.
That's why I know the answer.
And they kind of walked off with their nose
snubbed up in the air.
And rightfully so.
Because our system is failing.
And I want to know.
The public school system is a failure.
I want to know why.
I want to know who's making these decisions.
And I've got some personal feelings about it.
And I think it's some conspiracy, deep-seated shit,
that there's some sort of entity that's trying to keep us dumb.
I don't know.
I don't know how to respond to that.
It's almost to the point where I'd almost
like to run for school board to try to make changes.
Wow.
My kids are out of school.
But seniors should not have the cakewalk that they have.
No, they should be busting their butt.
Yeah, they're not making them ready for college.
That's for sure.
No, because I know Brandon, my oldest,
he's gone a couple of years in college now.
He was completely surprised at the whole final concept,
taking a final exam.
Oh, when he actually got to ask a question.
Yeah, he goes, dad, they're going
to test me over the whole quarter.
I was like, yes.
How is that fair?
Yeah.
Why do you think?
How can I remember all this?
It's impossible.
But I'm white.
I've got privilege.
And I was like, don't they understand?
You don't remember me complaining
about how it does not have finals.
And he struggled.
He had to figure it out.
He's like, I have to study three days for one exam.
Yeah, you do.
You do.
Yeah, that's how it is.
He's like, well, that sucks.
I was like, yes, it does.
You know what I tell my boys?
I was like, you putting forth any sort of effort
gives you a total leg up on your peers.
Total.
It's true.
My youngest daughter just graduated from high school.
We're in Carrollton, Carrollton Farmer's Branch
Independent School District, which is now a ghetto.
Right.
The hood.
Carrollton is?
Yes.
So her junior and senior year, we pulled her out
of the public school, and we put her in private school.
And she had finals, and she had stuff
to do with all this goofy online stuff until the bitter end.
Right.
I mean, she was private school, though, right?
She had it, yeah.
And there's a difference.
Public school is failing our kids.
Totally.
It absolutely drives me nuts.
I've bitched my wife so many times.
She doesn't want to hear it anymore.
You know?
Well, she's part.
I mean, she's a teacher.
Yes, she is.
Yeah, but in a public school.
Correct.
Yeah, but she doesn't pick the.
No, no, no, no.
I'm not saying she's part of the problem.
I'm saying, I mean, she's got to be passionate about it.
But maybe she's kind of worn out.
Like, from what I understand, all the teachers
are kind of beaten down.
No, she does things a little bit differently,
where she holds the students more accountable.
And she's allowed to do that because of where she's at.
They have different standards there.
And the students are expected to be professional.
It's more real world-like, if you want to call it that.
So she holds the students to a higher standard,
and she does it, too.
She doesn't let them get away with the bullshit
that regular school do.
Another issue I have are retests.
Oh, I know.
I know.
Isn't that crazy?
I hear this, and I go, god, why didn't I have that?
I never had a retest.
Isn't that great?
And I tell Brandon, I tell Stephen, well,
Brandon knows now.
I was like, you don't get a retest in college.
You fail it.
You don't get the chance to go back and get a 70 or whatever.
No, you get an F.
It totally waters down their effort.
Their work ethic.
Yeah.
Because in high school, they're like,
I'm going to halfway study.
If I do good, I'll do good.
If not, I'll just redo a retest.
No, it doesn't work out in the real world.
No, I don't.
You fail at an assignment or your project, you fail.
You don't go to your boss and go, hey, you know,
I used to be able to get retests.
Yeah, let's just present it again.
Can I redo this?
Let's present it again.
No.
You don't get that opportunity.
I'm going to pay you twice to do the same job?
No.
Because me and all my friends, we
used to get trophies for all kinds of stuff.
Or you're in the military shooting the bad guy.
Hey, I missed that time.
Can I retest and try to shoot you again?
Time out.
Yeah, time out.
Stop, everybody.
Stop.
That's so natural.
OK, that's the second shot you're taking at me.
So Austin, be prepared in the real world.
You don't get to retest shit.
It is.
Yeah.
So where's your daughter going to college?
She is going to go to Texas Tech.
Very nice.
That's a good school.
The oldest daughter is going to be a junior there,
so I'll have two of them.
My son, my oldest, is transferring to Texas Tech.
He was at Stephen F. Austin for the last two years.
But he's transferring this year.
That's a beautiful campus.
It is.
It's absolutely beautiful.
And he went there, and that's what attracted him there.
And it's a very small school.
So that was a detractor.
And plus, he played football for them.
And when he stopped playing football,
I think that kind of soured the whole thing,
because the coaching shifted.
Anyway, I don't want to get into all that.
But I think when he stopped playing football,
that whole part of his life was gone.
It shifted the attitude towards SFA a little bit.
He was there for two years?
He was there for two years.
Normally, when you're into your third year at a college,
you have some sort of familiarity and maybe
a loyalty to the school.
It's kind of gutsy for him to move.
Well, part of the problem is his whole family,
his whole collection of friends was on the football team.
Larry, he's got a girlfriend.
And she's going to tech?
No.
Yeah, she's done.
And so he played the freshman year.
And he finally said, I'm done with football.
I'm done.
I don't want to deal with another.
And there's a coaching change.
I don't want to deal with it.
So he was done.
But all his friends and everything,
his whole social life with everything
was tied with the football team.
So when that was gone, it was gone.
So he was last year, he really struggled with it.
Everybody wants to be in a group, right?
Like whether it's a frat or this or that.
I mean, imagine being in a frat for a year or two.
And then you get kicked out of the frat.
It'd be the same kind of feeling, right?
Yeah, he didn't get kicked out.
But he's stopped doing it.
And he's stayed in touch with some.
But it's not the same.
And he struggled with it.
And here it is.
And I think he'll enjoy himself out in Texas Tech.
It's bigger.
There's more experience.
He's a big dude, too.
I don't know why he can still probably hang out
with those guys.
But you know what he's amazed with?
As big as he is, all those other guys in the football team.
I mean, he's what?
6'6, 6'5?
He's 6'5.
He played at 6'5.
He said he was 3'10 when he was playing.
Wow.
The guys on the football team are bigger than him.
I mean, it's just I'm not talking about the front line.
I'm talking about like there are some really large individuals.
It's just it blows me away.
That's what it was.
Because he was the biggest one all the way.
Every class he was in, all the way through senior year,
he was always the biggest.
And he goes to college, he goes during the spring training.
His dad, he goes, it's weird.
He goes, I'm not used to not being the biggest.
He goes, I'm bigger than some guys.
He goes, but there's other guys that are bigger than me.
They had some linemen that were 6'7, 6'8.
Crazy.
It's crazy.
No, that's insane.
I just feel bad for the graduating seniors.
Their college experience is going
to be so weird going into their freshman year,
not having any, probably going to be all online or whatever.
What's Texas Tech doing?
I don't think they've decided yet.
But whether it's live classes or whether it's online classes,
both of them have the daughters have announced, we're leaving.
Same with myself.
You know what?
I think that's important.
My senior is the same way.
He's going to blend college until he
wants to transfer to Arkansas.
And my wife and I were very clear.
We're like, he needs to go.
You know what I mean?
That's part of the experience.
It is.
And I'm a firm believer that it's 50-50, right?
50% school, 50% trying to live on your own for the first time.
Absolutely.
Learning how to be a roommate, learning
how to shop for groceries, learning
how to cook for yourself, learning
how to get along with other people that aren't your family.
That's right.
That's huge.
There's a lot of life lessons.
It's 100% life lessons.
And it's going to suck.
A lot of it's going to suck.
They're going to realize that it's not.
We keep trying to tell them, he's
going to be the worst roommate ever.
You should see his room.
You should see every room he ever goes into.
We're trying to tell him, your roommates
are going to hate you because you're
a slobby individual that doesn't care about his space.
And I tell you what, some of these boys
would not be friends at the end of the year.
Oh, they won't be.
That's the way it works.
Yeah, that's my concern.
Some of these people will not be friends
by the end of the year.
There's going to be disagreements.
Oh, yeah.
That's the good thing.
Right, and if they know how to solve problems,
that's another thing about life, knowing how to solve problems.
You can just throw your hands up and say,
we're never going to be friends again.
Or you can work your damn problems out, like adults,
like men.
Well, the hard part is.
That's another life skill.
The hard part is you're living together.
Yeah, sure.
Sleeping in the same bed is awkward.
Yeah, spooning.
And you can't say it.
And it's not like.
You took it too far with spooning.
It's not like high school, where you can say.
They have their own rooms.
I don't want to hang out with you anymore.
And you don't really have to see them,
except maybe in the hallways.
Here, it's, I don't want to see you anymore.
Well, shit, you live in the same apartment with me.
But can you unload the dishwasher?
Yeah.
Yeah, no, this will be interesting.
Hey, your clothes are still in the goddamn dryer.
Can you take care of your shit?
I remember I remember with one of my high school buddies.
And we got into knockdown drag out fights.
And I mean, it was tense.
We didn't talk for a long time.
Maybe we're fine now.
But I mean, yeah, it sucked in the beginning.
I mean.
Yeah, it's going to be a huge learning curve.
I think at this point in their mind,
they're thinking we're going to college.
We're going to be on our own.
It's going to be so much fun.
Oh, we're going to drink.
We're going to party.
And it will be for a little bit.
Yeah, sure.
And then they're going to settle in.
And here comes reality.
Exactly.
Someone's not going to have food for whatever reason.
And they start pilfering somebody else's food.
Pilfering.
And then.
You were that roommate, huh?
Did you eat my crackers?
No, it wasn't.
Dude, I think I saw you eat my crackers.
Because I lived with.
You have cracker crumbs on your shirt.
Yeah, and what the hell, man?
Hold on.
Let me try that.
Those are my crackers.
So what I did.
So I was the only carnivore in my house.
So I lived with four other people.
Yeah, he lived with you lived with like women.
I lived with three girls and another guy in one house.
Oh, you got a fucking.
And we.
Jack Tripper over here.
You got some stories.
No, that's how's it going, Larry?
Those wasn't that kind of relationship.
We're all just friends.
But we had one refrigerator.
We each had a shelf.
Oh, wow.
That's hard.
So I would.
That works.
So I would never.
I was in the middle shelf.
But I would buy the meat.
Right.
And they wouldn't touch my shit.
So and I remember buying a whole chicken fryer
because it was cheap.
You could buy a whole chicken for four bucks.
Right.
And I were sticking on that shelf and it thawed and it bled.
And it leaked over all the vegetarian.
Yours was the top shelf.
Leaked all over their food.
And they had a fit.
It was glorious.
It was fun.
Yeah.
I was like, I'll clean it up.
How is that possible?
Back in that day.
Yes, please.
And thank you, beer.
Not vegans, but vegetarians.
Vegetarians, right.
Damn.
That's unusual.
I didn't think vegans or vegetarians
was a thing back then.
Yeah, they didn't really.
The other guy was less so.
But the three ladies were vegetarians.
Yeah, if anybody's going to be one, I could see the guy.
I mean, the girls being one.
Yeah, but I remember the blood was just dripping.
You talking about the meat or the girls?
Wow.
Me too.
That too.
Yeah, I could tell you.
I could tell you some stuff.
Warn it off.
We've got to ease our guests into this kind of stuff.
But you know what?
He shared some stories with me already about this.
And I was trying to get a beer.
And I thought I missed something.
And you didn't.
Well, speaking of the vagina.
Speaking of vaginas, I thought that was a word we're not
allowed to say on this show.
Right, so one of the girls.
Volva.
Yes, her Volva.
Mulva.
We had one bathroom in the entire house.
So we all shared the same bathroom.
Five of you in one bathroom?
Yes.
Three of them were girls.
Yeah, I can imagine you.
I mean, you're such a barnyard animal.
Hold on.
One bathroom in a how many bedroom house?
It was five.
Good lord.
Five bedrooms?
Yes, but it was a very old house, like 1920s.
How often have you peed outside?
No, we had rules.
We had things.
You weren't allowed to pee outside?
No, like if you're in the showering,
you could go in there and pee.
And you couldn't flush.
So you.
Because you didn't want to scald the person showering.
So the curtains were closed.
You could go in there and pee.
But then when you got out of the shower,
you would flush for them.
Oh, god.
You just couldn't shit.
You couldn't drop a deuce.
Time out.
Hot looking?
Were they hot?
Hold on.
So one of you.
They were cute, yes.
So the girl would be showering.
And they would allow you to come in and pee
while they were showering.
Yes.
Have you ever.
I came home drunk.
Actually played a game of hide the meat stick with your roommates?
No, never did.
You never went in the backyard and peed?
Well, yes.
Of course.
That's your takeaway, Larry.
Hold on.
After everything we're talking about,
that's what you're centered on.
Sean asked that.
And he said no.
And I went, you just kind of glossed over the whole thing.
That's kind of weird.
Well, no.
I mean, yes, it happened.
We're talking about hide the meat stick.
We're talking about sex stories.
You didn't pee outside?
So anyway, this one girl, we had one closet in the bathroom.
And again, we each had a little shelf or a section of a shelf.
And.
That sounds awful.
And she.
Parade of thongs.
She had a monistat seven.
Oh, the humanity.
Which is a yeast cream.
It's like Vagisil.
I guess.
I don't know.
But anyway, it was her mother's that she
was sharing with her mother.
What the hell, man?
Did her mom come by and pick it up every now and then?
How do you know these details?
Was her mom hot?
She brought her home with her.
No.
Me and Mrs. Jones.
Hold on.
You had to pee outside?
Did the mom pee outside?
She may have.
Who's squatting in the backyard?
So anyway.
Mrs. Jones.
The applicator was sitting there right there for everyone
to see with the creamy pubes.
Oh, God.
You're embellishing that story.
No, I am not.
God.
It was awful.
The other girls were.
How can they?
Come on.
Did you smell it?
You have to have some cooth.
No.
Cooth.
Wow, that's a five point word.
Very nice.
So yeah, that was a good gross out factor at that point.
She was a cute girl too, but that kind of ruined it.
Well, hold on.
Cute girls have yeast infections.
They're allowed to.
But see, it's those kinds of silly little stupid things
with roommates that cause these wars.
Yeah, sure.
Dude, do you have to leave your toenail clippings
on the coffee table?
Things like that, right?
Can you use your used monistat 7 applicator?
Can you please pick your condoms up
off the bottom of the couch?
Do you have to pick butt hair on the sofa?
Your dingleberries and flick them at me?
I mean, those are all real stories, I'm sure.
Is that a poop stain on the remote control?
What the hell, dude?
But I think the girls had a bigger issue.
I mean, I was just grossed out and I didn't pay any attention
to it, but the girls were kind of.
Oh, the other girls.
Oh, that's the other thing.
Girls are awful to each other.
Girl roommates are way worse than guy roommates, typically.
But you had to experience girl roommate fights along
with what you had to deal with.
Wow.
Dang.
That must have been some.
Did they come to you for support?
No, we all.
Emotional support.
For the most part, we all got along.
Jeffrey.
The one girl.
She was awful.
The yeast infection girl.
She was kind of.
She said this to me.
She was a little on the outside.
But.
How did you know these people?
I just met them in college throughout the years.
So come junior year.
OK, so you knew them very well when you moved in with them.
It wasn't like, you know, pull a tab off a thing hanging.
No, we knew who they were.
And actually, by roommate, my sophomore year,
we were looking for a house.
And these girls had a house for five bedrooms,
but two of the people backed out.
So they asked us, do you want to move in?
And we were like, yeah.
Hell, yeah.
It was cheaper.
It was better.
House that when we were looking at.
So we did it.
So we lived together for two years.
Where did you go to school?
Ohio University.
Up in Ohio, obviously.
In Athens.
What a coincidence.
Yeah.
Ohio University in Tennessee.
So yeah, actually, we met them because we
were doing radio programs.
And they were fans, believe it or not.
Groupies.
They were listeners.
And they would call in for requests and talk and all
that all the time.
There was a group of four or five of them that would do it.
We met them that way.
And we ultimately met them in the cafeterias
to eat lunch or dinner.
So we just kind of met them and became friends.
And that was probably sophomore year.
So yeah, it worked out.
And that's one thing that I wish our boys,
because they're moving.
They're going to blend.
Sean's son, my son, and Paul's son.
And they don't have dorms.
So they're going to be in apartment buildings.
And like an apartment, regular full apartment.
And they're nice.
Yeah, they're nice.
So they're not going to be living any hardship.
I lived in a triple that was supposed
to be a double that was smaller than this room.
Three people living in it.
Cinder block walls, right?
Bunker.
With bunk beds.
Yeah, today's youth.
I was never in a dorm.
I kind of regret that.
It was fun.
We had a blast.
Is that an Eggie Green?
Did you go to A&M?
I did, yeah.
OK.
I was always in apartments.
How come you were never on campus?
In a dorm?
Yeah.
I don't know.
I just never did.
Skip that part.
My freshman year, I went to Lamar in Beaumont.
And then after that, as a sophomore, then I transferred.
Oh, that explains it.
I don't know.
Do freshmen at A&M, do you have to be in a dorm?
I don't know if you have to.
But it was like the thing to do.
I mean, I was on campus for three years
before I moved off to off campus.
Oh.
Yeah.
I mean, and that's atypical.
And the only reason why we did is
because we were in Hotard Hall.
Remember Hotard?
Oh, boy, yeah.
And that was a fraternity in itself.
That was the one with no air conditioning.
Absolutely.
Well, it had air conditioning when we were there.
But in the beginning, it did not.
When did you graduate?
1993.
1993, OK.
1993, 1994.
Class of 1993.
So I was 10 years behind you in 83.
Right.
Yeah.
So I mean, that was the only, because we were like, man,
it's time to get off campus.
I mean, we've got all these freshmen kids coming in.
But like I said, it's a fraternity.
So we were like, we kind of ruled the roost in the hall.
You know what I mean?
We could do whatever we wanted.
So anyway, yeah.
So that's cool.
So you're class of what now?
83.
And the apartments that I was in, we, I mean,
money was tight, man.
Did you have roommates?
I would have, let's see, for two years,
I had roommates in one bedroom apartment.
So we shared the bedroom, one bathroom.
Yeah.
Which as I'm speaking it today, it just
sounds like, you did what?
Yeah.
But at the time, it was totally fine.
Totally normal.
Very normal.
So you had two beds in one room.
Yeah.
Two single beds in the bedroom.
That's the way a dorm room is.
Yeah.
Two bunk beds in a small room.
Yeah.
I mean, hell, in my dorm, we had community bathrooms.
We had three stalls, three toilets against the wall
with no divider, with a divider but no doors.
Nice.
And a toilet and three shower heads.
That's the way mine was.
I mean, it was community bathrooms.
And guys that couldn't stand.
I mean, if you have an 8 o'clock class, right,
and you walk in to go brush your teeth,
and there's a dude on the toilet reading the paper,
the dude next to him is wiping his ass.
Two feet from him, the guy's peeing in the urinal.
And there's two guys in the shower butt naked.
If you can handle that, you can handle anything.
Yeah, I know the bathrooms when I was in my dorms,
we had doors.
But it was stupid because you're sitting there.
But the walls only went this high.
Right.
So you're sitting there.
And the sinks, of course, were right opposite.
But you had a door in front of you?
We had a door and side doors.
But it was only this high.
We had no doors.
Yeah, but you had side walls, right?
That were about this wide.
Yeah, but how tall were they?
I mean, they were probably eye level.
And then all you had to do was.
Oh, yeah, his was worse.
But you could stare into the neighbor's eyes.
Toilets against the wall, basically is what it was.
What was weird is, yeah.
So in the sinks where people come in and brush their teeth
were like two feet from you.
So they'd come in and they're like, hey, Jeff, what's going on?
You're sitting there going, hey, Paul.
You had tacos again.
Yeah, you just got to talk to them
while you're taking a crap and they're brushing their teeth.
Totally, totally.
That was our experience.
But again, saying it right here, right now,
it sounds almost absurd.
But back in the day, it was totally fine, right?
Totally fine.
And the guy, there were a couple of guys
on the floor that couldn't handle it.
And they were the guys that would shower at 2.30
in the morning.
Because they didn't want anybody to see their penis.
Right.
Can we say that word?
A couple of guys didn't want to show their vulva.
We said vagina earlier.
Creamy pubes.
No, you said creamy pubes, too.
And now I just said creamy pubes.
My goodness.
That was a horrible visual.
Horrible.
Yeah.
Yes, well.
A little scarred from that.
And again, I don't want to keep talking about it.
However, I am interested in hearing more about the mother.
Well, why the mother and the daughter shared the monostat?
Yeah, well, I mean, did she?
How did that work?
I mean, did the mother show up at all hours of the night
going, ugh, just give me a minute.
Just give me a minute.
Did she go in there?
Yeah, what is going on?
Like, the mother lived nearby?
She visited a lot.
So maybe it was, hey, mom, can you bring me your monostat?
She brought it down for her, and it was half used.
And everybody crowded around while they talked about it?
Did they create a wall?
Where's the privacy on the sharing of the monostat
between mother and daughter?
I don't know.
Not at all.
We didn't have much privacy in that house.
Apparently not.
So we each had our own bedroom.
But where'd you go to rub one out?
I mean, if you got like three.
I had a door in my room.
That's what the backyard's for.
Yeah, I didn't use the backyard.
You didn't run one out in the backyard?
Yeah.
There's a tree house back there, right?
So how was the tree house?
How was the lake?
Where's Jeff?
He's in the tree house.
Again.
He took the magazine up there and went to town.
Was it good?
So the Please and Thank You American Pale
Ale from Lakewood Brewery, it's a pale ale.
So American, Indian, Oaxacan, it's still a pale ale.
It's on the lighter scale of pale ales as far as.
So it's not real hoppy?
It's not, but it's still a pale ale.
And it's low.
It's a 5.4%, so it's not very strong.
I want to try one.
I'm glad I bought it.
Yeah, I think you'd like it.
I'm glad I bought it.
I don't think I'll buy it again.
There was a time where I was enjoying the very hoppy beers.
The hoppier the better, the stronger the better.
But I'm just over that now.
I never did like the hoppy beers.
I loved it, man.
I'd buy like the LA Boulevard used
to make these huge tankards, 750 milliliter bottles of beer
with a cork.
You know, pop that baby off and you
get like some quadruple ales, 10 and 1.5%, 12 and 1.5%,
just off the charts strong beer.
Yeah, but the taste.
Oh, and for some reason, I enjoyed the shit out
of it back then.
I never did.
I have consistently been water that tastes like beer,
very light lager beers.
I like 100%ing on those.
I have difficulties with IPAs, really strong IPAs,
because it's the bitterness that gets me.
They call hoppiness these days.
It's not bitter.
The less work I do, and hold on, let me rephrase that.
The more I was involved with construction work,
physically demanding work, I was able to handle all that stuff.
I could drink so much and the quality of the stuff
that would take in, the calories.
Every night I'd play World of Warcraft.
I don't know if you guys played that.
Probably not, but I played World of Warcraft, I swear to God,
for two years straight.
Two years straight.
There was one year.
I think I missed maybe one night.
That's insane.
One night.
And then your squad was asking, where's Sean?
No.
Dude, we're going on a raid, man.
No, I was really a mage.
Did you just go to your spells?
I was a human priest.
We need your healing.
You're a cleric?
I was a human priest, a discipline.
We can't go on a raid without your healing spells, man.
I enjoyed it.
I'm making fun of it, but as a teenager,
we played Dungeons and Dragons big time.
D&D is huge.
With my brothers, we played a lot of D&D.
You see, Austin's a D&D master.
So he hosts his own show, or game, at our house.
He's not a dungeon master, not a D&D master.
You know what?
I'm going to be nice because he's here.
But my point is, he created himself
the map and everything.
And before COVID took on, we had a group at our house
every Wednesday night.
And we were playing it.
And I can't wait for this stuff to get passed
so we can get back to gaming and doing
the things that are important.
Austin, just for your knowledge.
Yeah, well, there we go.
I was a healer on World of Warcraft.
My name was Dr. Murphy.
Yeah.
You like that?
Dr. Murphy, I was the dude that was like, whoosh.
You know, I'll tell you what, if they were to come up
with a movie, it would be something.
They came up with World of Warcraft movie already.
But they didn't have the things that I think would be cool
with all the special effects and all the stuff
that really goes into some of these raids that go on,
where you have 40 people all playing the same video game
at once trying to...
I'm getting a little overwhelmed.
So let me back up.
Hold on, so what happened to the game?
Is it still out there?
The World of Warcraft?
Is it still big?
Oh, it's huge.
It's like...
You know, that's impressive,
because usually shows don't, I mean,
games don't stick around a long time.
It's huge.
In fact, the only reason I don't play it
is because I don't want to invest in another computer.
I don't want to invest in another computer right now.
I've got a bunch of these little laptops that work
and they're functional for doing stuff,
but you need a demanding computer
to play some of those games.
And I just don't have the emotional energy to spend money
on stuff like that.
Yeah, I never really got into it,
but I know I'm late to the game and this is old,
but I found it very, very humorous.
That video out there where the guy,
they were all trying to strategize outside of this room.
And some guy just goes berserk and he screams his name
or something like that.
And he goes running into the room.
What is that called?
What's that called, a movie?
No, it was a screenshot of the game.
They were playing it and it was somebody's name.
You know what it is, Austin?
Roscoe or something like that.
Oh, Kilroy.
No, it's not Kilroy.
No, it's Kilroy.
No, it's not Kilroy.
Yeah, and I think that, yeah, it is Kilroy.
Like a YouTube thing?
Leroy, it's Leroy.
Leroy Jenkins.
Yeah, Leroy.
Oh.
Yeah.
It is so funny because you hear these
just total World of Warcraft geeks.
Taking it so seriously.
So seriously for like 30 seconds or a minute,
just counting points and you're gonna do this,
you're gonna do that.
All of a sudden this guy just goes
and they ask him a question.
He just screams his name.
Leroy Jenkins, he just goes charging in there.
All right, well, let me give you a little.
No strategy or anything.
And they just fail miserably.
Let me give you a little background on.
Turn it down a little bit.
Oh, look at that.
It's so geeky, right?
I love it, man.
I enjoyed the shit out of it.
All right, so what they're doing
is they're about to go in and battle a main monster.
And so they're preparing with all the buffs.
Here he goes.
Yeah, they sound older.
That's me up there.
Are you serious?
No, but.
Oh.
I've been there.
Oh my God, I love the leadership this guy's showing.
Well, wait, just watch.
He's probably the CEO of Mobile or something.
Dude, this is.
Oh my God.
Watch this.
Oh my God.
What?
You can kill it.
So the point is, once you run into the area
and you pull what they call aggro,
if you pull aggro and you get the attention of the game,
the game now pulls all of its attention on that one person
and they attack.
I mean, it's so exciting
because you have to work as a team.
You really, if that was a 25 man,
that looked like a 25 man setup,
but there are bigger ones.
There are 40 men setups where it's incredible.
The stuff that you gotta do,
you gotta be on your toes.
I mean, there's.
Number crunch.
Yeah, the number crunch.
And look, he wasn't pulling that out of his ass.
I mean, there are subscreens that you have on there
that tell you all the stats going on.
And you can see, as a healer,
I had, if there were a 40 man raid,
I'd have everyone's, I had like five by eight grid set up.
And in each grid, there were like five or six extra squares
and I can right click or left click on the squares.
And I would heal people, cure them, dispel.
And there was so many different things that you could do.
And then at the end of the day, the jackass.
Leroy!
Oh my God.
And then the whole thing is blown.
Weeks of preparation and planning.
It became a cliche.
33.3, repeating, of course.
Yes, of course.
I need you to check that number.
Roger that, affirmative.
What's your vector, Victor?
I know that's old, but I found that by a year or so ago
and I just laughed my ass.
I watched it so many times.
Oh, that's great.
You ran out of time, Leroy Jenkins.
Yeah, he's totally like, he's like, he's.
You're out of time.
Well, I mean, he's listened to these,
the rest of these guys, he's like, oh my God.
That's exactly what it was, exactly.
Yeah, he's like, he's like this 16 year old that's like.
Did he just say repeat?
I can't do this anymore.
I can't, I can't do this anymore.
I'm going to die.
Leroy!
Did he just run in there?
That is great.
Fuck.
And then the other guy, oh, he just ran in there.
Well, let's go save him.
And then, and then you hear the leader trying to like
salvage the situation.
Lay down the.
Oh shit.
They're all over the place.
Fuck, I'm going down, I'm going down.
Mayday, mayday, I've lost all engines, I'm down.
It goes either from downhill from there.
Oh, completely.
Oh, that's great.
But it's amazing, some of the, I mean, man, I'll tell you,
just watching that little clip right there.
Brought it all back.
Man, I enjoyed it.
It was, it's just like anything.
I enjoyed playing the game.
It was fun.
I don't have the time for that.
There's no way, no way.
Oh, it's a three hour block.
No, no, period.
It's a three hour block.
All right, so before video games,
completely before video games, right?
So we didn't have, we had handhelds, right?
We talked about that, I think, last week.
We had the little Donkey Kong handheld.
Football.
We had some of that.
The little Nintendo gameplay stuff.
You know, we had some of that,
but we didn't have gaming.
Well, I mean, we have like Atari, I guess,
but I mean, so we played D&D, right?
But what, like Larry, when you were like pre-teen, pre-teen,
what would you play?
Pinball machines.
Go to the arcade and play pinball.
Black Knight, that was like incredible.
Well, and we talked about that last week.
We talked about like Atari games.
We talked about Galaga.
And what was the other one,
the stupid ostrich you guys were talking about?
Oh, joust.
Joust, joust.
Yeah, and then in, I guess, late 70s,
it went to the video machine arcade.
So pinball was huge.
Before the electronic games.
And it was like basically a ton of pinball,
different types of pinball machines.
Yeah, oh yeah.
Because now it's like there's like two or three
pinball machines or one or two.
Bars had them.
You know, some stores would have them in the corner.
They're great money generator too.
I mean, for what they are.
I mean, once you buy them,
they can pay for themselves in a week.
Pinball machines.
Easily, yeah.
You know, a little hamburger joint
would probably have one in the corner.
Yeah.
Yeah, Black Knight.
But nothing else?
You had no other type of games
you would play with friends or like what,
you know what I'm saying?
Cards, I guess cards, right?
Cards have always been around.
Oh, you mean stuff that we play at home?
You're not necessarily, not necessarily, yeah.
Oh yeah, me and Michael Halsey
were big with our plastic army men.
Okay.
Oh yeah, we did that.
We had army men, we had Hot Wheels.
Hot Wheels, yeah.
Yeah, there you go.
Orange tracks.
Yeah, that was huge.
The loopy shit.
And the orange tracks,
you'd put them together with that little purple connector.
Yeah, the little connector thing.
What about marbles?
Until my parents figured out how to beat the shit out of you.
We played some marbles.
Yeah, we played marbles sometimes.
Never got in the marbles.
Oh, I love marbles.
With the army men, you know what we did?
We set up, we would set up a whole battlefield.
Oh yeah, man.
In like a big room, like we have marble floors,
I don't know why, but we have marble floors
and we would set up the entire army man set up
and we took matches and burned them
to make little fortresses and glued them
and burned them together to make little fortresses and shit.
And then you know what?
The battle was rubber bands.
Oh yeah, okay.
We used to take turns shooting rubber bands
at each other's stuff and whatever we blew up
and knocked over, they were dead.
And the green army men were the Americans
and the blue ones were the Germans.
Were the Germans.
And you're talking about the big ones now.
Nah, you know, about inch tall, inch and a half.
Well, I say that because the ones we had
also had the little ones.
You know what I'm talking about?
I never played army men.
There were whole sets of little ones
in addition to the big ones.
So you had midgets in your army?
They were little midgets.
No, they were little people.
I think they were little people.
No, back then there were midgets.
Yeah, you're allowed to call them midgets.
I was blown on midgets back then.
I'm safe.
But it was bad ass because you would buy the set
that was like the German African army.
Yeah, oh yeah.
They had every like.
Good Lord.
Oh, it was very campaign.
Is it racist nowadays to have that kind of stuff?
How come they didn't have any Japanese army men?
They didn't.
I just thought.
What a great question.
They did not.
They look like, is that those tan ones?
It was all the Americans and the Germans.
They had British too.
You see the British helmets?
Are you sure they didn't have the Japs?
The Japs.
I don't think so.
I never saw Japanese.
It was only Germans and various, various allies.
I'm sure that they had them.
I'm thinking because they were probably made in Japan
that they probably were like,
we're not gonna make these.
You guys go fuck yourself.
We're gonna put on some different helmets.
Yeah, we're still sore from having lost.
Well, how would you designate them as Japanese?
Is there a solid color?
No, no, no, no, the uniforms and everything, dude.
Yeah, they have the German helmet shape.
Oh, hell yeah.
I know, but I don't even know
what the Japanese army looked like.
Wow.
They had swords.
Paul's making signs over here.
What was that?
No, no, I was stretching.
Speaking of the Japanese,
I told you guys earlier that when I was in high school,
I interned at this American Forces TV station on Okinawa,
which is in Japan.
One of the jobs that we were given,
it's called the switcher.
And you're basically just putting on the TV shows
that are being aired at that moment.
Some schlub has to put the film on a projector
in order for it to be aired out over the airwaves.
Oh, okay.
The guy that does that.
We were under instruction that if any of the TV shows
showed an image of a mushroom cloud,
that we had to go to black, poom, immediately,
because there was some agreement.
Oh, it's sensitive.
Yeah, because when I was there,
Battle of Okinawa was only 30 years before,
which was really not that long.
No, not really.
I mean, dude, I mean,
dropping two atom bombs on Japanese cities
is still, it still resonates.
Sure it does.
Yeah, that was horrific.
I mean, it was necessary in my opinion, but horrific.
Well, when I lived in Germany,
they used to, they had the wonder,
on the American Broadcasting System,
the Armed Forces Network, they play Wonder Woman.
So my dad, what he did in the military,
she was hot.
Yeah, she was.
She had wide crotch.
Linda Carter.
She had wide crotch.
The way she could move her wrists around and block stuff.
I was so sexy.
Hey man, my dad had a magazine with her in it,
and you know what, we'll talk about that later.
So I drew nipples on it.
Yeah.
And I didn't know what I was doing, I just did it.
Did you lick the magazine after you threw nip?
You know, that's another story.
So the magazine was all crusty and your dad got angry.
Oh my God.
Yeah, there was one time when I lived in Colorado,
my parents had a JCPenney's magazine,
and my mom's kinda like,
evidently I had drawn nipples on all the women
in the entire catalog.
You sick bastard.
I was sick.
I had no idea what the hell I was doing.
And my dad mentioned something,
another little snippet from living in Colorado.
My dad mentioned something about the bunny club.
Now the bunny club is what we think.
Playboy, right?
Yeah, well, I didn't know.
The bunny club?
Oh, those cute little bunnies.
Anyways, my parents still make fun of me for that.
But you know, being in Germany,
my dad would, one of the things that he did
is he worked one-on-one with the German military,
teaching them a specific trait.
And some of the officers on the German side,
we became friends and their family would come over
with our family and hang out, which was very cool.
Very, very cool.
And I've got tons of stories up for that too.
But we ended up going over to their,
for Christmas time and they had the entire tree decorated
with these little chocolates.
As you know in German, they got the Christkindl marked
and they got all these proprietary Christmas stuff on there.
Our family went over there and in one night,
the whole Christmas tree, this is like an eight,
all of them, okay?
There were fucking Americans.
There were hundreds of them on this tree, it was hilarious.
Your family just like, basically like locusts.
And they came down Christmas morning,
the kids, and they're like, my tree.
Daddy, where are the chocolates?
Well, they didn't have any kids back then.
They ended up, I mean, we were the kids,
but it was just, we went on vacation with them.
We ended up going to Italy a few times,
two summers in a row with their family.
It was pretty cool.
But I remember them coming over to the house,
and our house, and I had Wonder Woman playing.
And it was, even at a younger age,
it was very uncomfortable because back then,
Wonder Woman had a lot of Nazis on them.
I don't know if you remember.
Her thing was fighting Nazis on that show.
I see, I see, yeah.
I'll see if you can pull any of that up.
The Wonder Woman with Nazi programs in the 70s.
Yeah, because it turns out their name was Beata, Beatrice,
and Zygfrid, Ziggy.
And now Ziggy, you would think, you know,
Ziggy the little cartoon character,
two, three feet tall dude, big eyes and nose.
This dude was like, he had to duck his head.
He was taller than six foot eight.
He had to duck his head to get through a normal door.
Wonder Woman.
So, you know, and they had on the show,
the actual show wasn't a cartoon,
they had the Nazis on there, and she was old, yes,
they spoke English, but it was just with the accent.
It was just a memory, you know.
Back then they had the Nazis, it was kind of uncomfortable.
But then, even then for you?
For me it was.
Even back then it was uncomfortable for you.
Well, yeah, I mean.
Because they were clearly the villains,
and they clearly talked like your friends,
your family friends who were German.
Correct.
I got you.
But that's the whole, and that kind of adds.
Clout, name.
But that even adds to the level of education
that they had for the kids back then.
They were skin to life!
Everyone gets to take a shower.
Yeah.
That was pretty good.
So, you know, but that also is a reflection
of the type of education that they had back then,
you know, is that they taught that kind of stuff,
and they didn't teach, they don't teach,
they sure the hell don't teach that now.
Oh no.
And it was very uncomfortable
because I knew that was wrong,
I knew there was a conflict,
but you know, Beata, I remember her saying,
no, it's okay, it's just a show.
I mean, my dad was a Nazi, but he didn't want to be one.
You know?
Most of them didn't.
Yeah.
I mean, not to get into German history,
like before the Third Reich and all that,
but I mean, they kind of had to.
And the people who fought for that army kind of had to.
I mean, so my history is German,
and I don't know my history before, I think 1905,
somebody came over from Germany,
and I don't know what happened.
Like, I don't know what happened.
Well, they have re-education camps, right?
Is that what they call them?
Isn't that what Bernie wanted to do?
Have re-education camps?
That if you don't think like you're supposed to,
you go to these camps. Oh, oh yeah, big time.
I mean.
You will learn to think like us.
Oh, Bernie.
It's kind of creepy, like when they talk about
setting up hotlines for reporting your neighbors
if they're not wearing a mask, that was Nazi Germany, dude.
That was, it was, they set up stuff to say
if they're not on board with the Nazi propaganda.
I mean, they indoctrinated the kids to spy on their parents
and turn their parents in.
If their parents were talking about like,
not being on board with what Hitler was doing
and not being on all that kind of stuff,
they would turn their parents in.
Yeah, that's crazy.
That is crazy, and they didn't know what they were doing.
It's all brainwashing.
I wonder what the high school history class
in Germany is like.
I mean, does the guy get to?
Okay, what up to?
Nowadays or back then?
Now, yeah.
Okay, what up to 1925?
That brings us into the 30s and the 40s.
That's not gonna be on the test,
so just forget about that part and skip that.
Skip right to the 50s.
We got our asses kicked, let's move on.
Well, you gotta look at how our classes are going, right?
Are the kids taught our American history properly?
I don't know, I mean, I don't know.
I know what I was taught.
Do they teach that these days?
Do they talk about the founding fathers
in the way they used to and the slavery
and what happened and the Irish that were mistreated
and all that stuff, right?
Indentured servants.
Yeah, I mean, I don't know if they go through all that
in the depth that it used to be
because we don't wanna acknowledge that.
You know, I heard, I saw a video, which I never knew,
that there were white slaves in Northern Africa.
Did you know that?
It's called Me at Work.
Oh, wow.
Wow.
In Northern Africa?
In Northern Africa.
No, I've not heard it.
Well, I haven't either, and I was just kinda wondering.
I downloaded the clip.
I'll play that on the second half,
but I was just interested in that
because I've never heard that before.
White slaves in North America going on at the same time.
North America or North Africa?
I'm sorry, North Africa.
So where were they from?
Where were the whites from?
Europe.
So they were like French?
You know, when you say that, I heard that on talk radio
on the way over here this afternoon, as a matter of fact.
Larry Elder was talking about it
and he said they were white slaves.
They were Slavs.
So that's where the word comes from.
Czechoslovakia?
Slaves, Slavs, that's where the word comes from.
No way.
Czechoslovakia.
Okay.
So they're the Eastern Molokas.
People have brutalized people for thousands of years.
Okay, you've had anybody who's got power over somebody else
and they're not of the same whatever,
color, tribe, area, whatever it is, they brutalized them.
This is normal behavior, not normal.
This was typical.
It's typical human behavior is what that is.
I mean, there has been Chinese slaves,
there have been black slaves, there have been white slaves.
There have been, I mean.
They still have Chinese slaves.
Yeah, this is, humans are horrible to each other.
They just are.
Right.
And it's about power.
I mean, we talked about this one,
I think it was last week.
A lot of the slaves that were sold,
and we have to get off this topic, I know,
but a lot of the slaves that were sold to the United States
and to Europe were sold by black people.
It was a tribe wanting to gain power over another one,
taking them over, brutalizing them,
and getting rid of them by selling them.
I mean, it's just awful.
Humans are awful to each other.
But let's move on.
Are we on?
Are we on intermission?
Yeah, we're about to take intermission,
but this is kind of an interesting topic
because it kind of ties in directly
with some of the absurdity of the Black Lives Matter
and the whole I deserve money, I deserve reparations.
Reparations.
It's bullshit because everyone deserves reparations
sometime within their life,
sometimes within their parents' lives,
generations and generations.
The Indians, all right, well, who was here before the Indians?
Where does it end?
I mean, it's never gonna end.
Native Americans.
Oh, yeah.
Okay, so speaking of.
You saw that.
That was a Mexican, Italian.
Cuban.
Yeah, there's some Cubans here.
Maybe this is topic for part two,
but you saw Washington is changing their.
See, that's bullshit too because.
The Redskins, yeah.
Yeah, you know what?
The grandson spoke up on that,
and the grandson was kind of like,
you know what, my grandfather designed that label,
and we were proud to be.
Well, an actual Indian did.
Yeah, we were proud to be on that.
He was an Indian.
Yeah, he was.
That was one of the most proudest moments
was to be on that helmet,
and now you guys are taking away from that.
Who are you to take that away from us
when we decided we wanted that on there?
It was an honor.
Think about why somebody would want to put that
as their team mascot.
It's because they're fierce warriors,
and you're not gonna fuck with them.
Yeah, we're tough.
Really, I mean, it is, to want to be that mascot.
It's this.
Right, otherwise you'd be.
Silent minority.
I don't get it.
That is consuming us.
I heard a phrase the other day.
If a Republican doesn't like guns,
he doesn't go buy a gun.
If a Democrat doesn't like guns,
he doesn't want anybody to have a gun.
Right.
If a Republican is offended by NFL football,
he just doesn't go to the game.
If a Democrat is offended by the Redskins logo,
he demands that it's changed.
That's right.
That's a difference.
That is a key difference right there.
But you know, you bring that up,
and one funny story about that is when Democrats
or liberals feel unsafe and they would like to get a gun,
especially in California.
Oh yeah.
Yeah, we talked about this.
Yep.
They ran into the gun law, gun control requirements,
and how hard it is to get a gun,
and they were like, what the hell?
We're trying to, we're in danger,
we're trying to protect our family,
and you tell me I gotta wait two weeks before I.
Oh.
Yes, these are the rules you passed.
Suddenly now things change a little bit, don't they?
Yes, yes, yes, yes.
All right, we'll be right back.