Man, it was a very hot day today, by the way.
I was inside air conditioned house all day.
Yeah, me too.
Yeah.
Until I had to walk the dogs and that was brutal.
I complained the whole time.
I was like, why am I here instead of in Colorado where it was like 73, 40 degrees when I woke
up in the morning.
Oh man, that was wonderful.
It was amazing.
I sat out on the deck with a blanket just staring out at the mountains and trees.
That's the glory.
When we were out Tahoe and it was like 50 degrees when we'd wake up and they'd give
us breakfast.
Very nice.
And we'd have this nice breakfast on the patio.
Did the boys give you breakfast, Paul?
No, they slept in until noon.
I would wake up at like six, six thirty, seven at the latest.
It's an hour back, right?
So I would just be like, do a couple little things and then I would go sit out on the
deck.
Did you go for a run?
I did not.
A jog?
There were no jogs, no runs.
When Shelly was up there with me, we did brief brisk, sorry, what do you call it?
Brisk walks.
Sex.
Brisk, sex walks?
Interesting.
Was I carrying her along the dirt road?
She was a front.
She was mounting her.
Sex walk?
That's where she bends over.
She's like, whoa, whoa, like a dinosaur.
I'm not talking about some weird person in like, you know, you met your wife.
Well, very vulgar.
I mean, what is that like dinosaur song?
The purple.
Oh, the purple.
No, not like that.
Barney.
I'm talking about Barney.
It was 80s, 80s, 90s song.
It was dinosaur.
It's like dance like a dinosaur.
You want to help us out here?
I've heard that song before, dance like a dinosaur.
Yeah, that's an 80s song.
Yeah.
Well, the point is, is that you know, get each other in the butt.
Well, what they were doing, they were like, oh, they were dancing and they were like,
just had the button there.
And that's what I you guys are completely disdain and envisioning wonderful, serene,
peaceful Colorado mountain thing.
Like, oh, yeah, but sex in the street.
You can probably hear you guys for miles.
Well, echoing.
Is that the noise you make?
Oh, yeah.
Kind of like a monkey.
God, yeah.
With the top of the rock.
What is that noise?
I don't know.
What's happening when that happened?
Squeaky toys.
How do we immediately jump into sex noises?
Because you talked about it with your wife up in Colorado, walk it with her.
I said brisk walk.
And then you're like, oh, did you do it in the blood?
I don't believe I said something like that.
Do it.
So vulgar.
Well, Sean's the one who started talking about dinosaurs.
Anyway, so I would wake up super early.
I got out on the deck is literally 42 degrees, 42 degrees.
Imagine that.
And and I'm sitting there with a blank.
No, I waited till 8 15 before I popped my first 9 15.
Our times.
Yeah, exactly.
It's five o'clock somewhere or 8 9 15 somewhere.
So did you invest like in a five foot bong, five foot water bong out there in Colorado?
No, no, did not.
Yeah, we wouldn't drink in at 10 a.m. in Napa because that was new in our time.
That was so weird.
When we were in L.A. in a sports bar watching the football.
Same type of deal.
They opened at 10 a.m. for the football game.
Right.
And the thought of having a beer at 10 a.m. was wonderful.
Yes, I was like, it's 12 o'clock where I was like, I don't need to feel guilty.
Let's do this earlier and earlier and earlier.
Right.
Anyway, and and I would watch the hummingbirds attack the, you know, the feeder.
Oh, it attacked it.
Yeah.
Oh, I tell you what.
Did you know I read up?
I read up.
I read up on it.
Highly violent.
No.
Well, actually, one is.
But they.
Oh, you have them named.
They have the memory of like elephants.
I doubt that.
No, they do.
I read it and they said they come back to the same place every year as part of their
migration and they are.
And if you have a feeder, a pigeon does.
If you have a feeder, they are looking for that feeder.
Like even though we'll go a year or two years.
I mean, what the hell?
Right.
And then I put it up there and I shit you not.
Within 15 minutes of when I very first put it up there, the first time you like 100.
Well, you know, animals are.
Never seen more than three.
And there's one a male that chases off everybody.
He's a dick.
And it's the same male every year.
I shit you not to mark them.
You have a tag.
They have very distinct colors.
Yes, I have pictures I can show you.
Well, anyway, so the rocket shoot.
Maybe some chloroform, put them out and tag them.
Yes.
Pink rocket.
I don't think hummingbirds have pink rockets.
I wasn't watching hummingbird hummingbird porn or tranquilizer.
I just know I need to understand where this comes from.
You go all native and have like the jet like, you know, some sort of porn aspect.
The needle and the animal.
Sean texted that to me.
Want me to say it?
Well, anyway, it's fascinating.
The hummingbirds were fun.
I mean, when you when you have nothing to do, like you don't see those everywhere.
Are you sure you didn't accidentally eat an edible or something?
Oh, why would I?
Namer it into the moment.
I did not.
I'm not saying you took on purpose.
I'm good.
Sometimes.
Oh, like, well, yeah, like the cookie.
Well, that's the thing.
When you're in Colorado, there's edibles just laying around and, you know, it's kind of
like accidental fentanyl exposure.
Oh, you know, you just kind of walk along and there are an edible squishes between your
toes and it's like, oh, shit, what was that?
Oh, it gets absorbed.
Yeah.
I mean, because Colorado is everywhere.
You guys knew that, right?
It's literally everywhere.
You can't go to Candyland.
You cannot not be high.
The little chocolate factory was where she falls in the river.
Yeah, they got the key.
Well, just the whole chocolate factory.
We want this chocolate factory.
You got this just laced candy everywhere.
It could be like that.
It's these laced edibles.
Maybe.
I don't know.
I always thought that movie was a creepy movie.
No, so creepy.
I remember when they roll in the girl that's all in the blueberry.
Who?
The guy fell, the kid fell into the chocolate river and got sucked up the tube.
Yes.
He's like, and he was a fat kid.
What do you get?
I got stuck.
German kid.
And that was who was the creepy, creepy actor in the first one?
Gene Wilder.
He was great.
Oh, the very entrance where he was comes out all kind of like old and shit and all of a
sudden falls into this little somersault springs up and is like, hey, how you doing?
And they're the original one and they're very original.
Yeah, he does.
It was really cool.
It's like the introduction.
You're like, wow, this is going to be kind of cool.
He was so unique.
Yeah.
Well, he was in several movies.
I mean, the one of the I mean, the most crazy movie that nobody wants to remember, especially
woke folk, is the that that Western movie he made.
Oh, you're not talking about Blazing Shadows.
Yes, I did.
Oh, he was in that?
Yes, he was.
Oh, wow.
He was the cowboy.
What else?
What else is he in?
He was a lady in red with at the time a knockout.
Look at those dashing blue eyes.
Kelly Kelly, the Brock Dashing.
I tell you, he was a lady in red.
Watch pull that picture up.
Lady in red.
I don't think I watched that.
Chris Kelly, the part that's weird science girl.
Yeah, she was in this.
She was she was an attractive woman.
Oh, highly.
Thanks for just let it out.
Yeah, thanks for kind of elaborating further.
I think she did need a moment.
I think she does full frontal in this movie, too.
She was attracted.
Oh, my God.
Yes, she was.
You kind of gushed all over that.
Yeah.
Lady in red.
Dennis Deberg was Chris Deberg.
Wrong.
Well, his brother, they both sang together.
Oh, they did.
He was also Dennis.
My brother was there.
That was sticks.
Dennis DeYoung.
DeYoung.
He was also in.
DeYoung.
God, what is wrong with me?
I don't know.
You're wrong.
D something.
Gene Wilder was also in stir crazy with Richard Pryor.
Richard Pryor stir crazy.
That was hilarious.
Yeah, that was a good one.
I remember those movies.
And another one that I never I never saw.
I've seen bits and pieces of it with young Frankenstein.
Yeah, I've seen that.
That's considered a classic comedy movie.
I've never seen the whole thing, though.
That's a good one.
Old spoof stuff.
Oh, I watched classic.
I just remember.
What's funny?
He's going to walk this way.
Yeah.
OK.
No, this way.
He's like all hunched over.
Yes.
And his hunch moves shoulder to shoulder.
Oh, it's a total spoof.
And they're like going into the castle and he goes, you are howling in the background
and he goes, werewolf werewolf, werewolf.
I may have to watch it.
I guess I've never watched the whole thing.
I've seen bits and pieces of it, though.
But Terry Gar was in that.
Oh, she's cute.
And which one?
John Frankenstein.
Oh, yeah.
Now, the whole Frankenstein phenomenon period, I mean, just the old movie itself, Frankenstein,
not the comedy, just with Boris Karloff.
It's alive.
And that and that just doesn't seem to go.
They've made so many movies.
I think Boris Karloff was the most famous Frankenstein.
But that's back.
I don't remember that one.
During that.
He's the original like 30s and 40s Frankenstein.
Oh, OK.
Boris Karloff.
OK.
I've watched all those movies.
We've ventured too far out.
It's July 7, 7-Eleven.
7-Eleven.
Enjoy those free slushies.
Slushies from.
Thank you.
Have a coming in.
Have a slushie.
7-Eleven.
Dudes like us.
I'm Sean.
I'm Paul.
Thanks again.
I was thinking about the Simpsons and how he can't do that anymore.
The guy that also Joe Biden.
Joe Biden says you can't be in 7-Eleven without hearing an Indian accent.
Yeah.
Well, you said that.
You said that on the news.
Are you kidding me?
That's super offensive.
That was back in the 80s.
What a racist.
Not that it's any different.
I mean, he still said it.
I mean, some of the shit he said.
Just let him get away with it.
Can you imagine if Trump said that?
Oh, gosh.
We go again.
Dang it.
We can't get a gushty off of that.
But you know what?
Look, we're not going to dive into it, but it's just it's aggravating.
It is very frustrating.
The double.
What do you call it?
The dong.
The double dong.
Double standard.
Oh, well, same thing.
Double dong.
Double standard.
Well, we're tasting this bourbon here and it's a remake.
It's our sin wagon.
No, that's a smoke wagon.
That's a Dixie chick.
Dixie chicks.
That's a Dixie chick song.
That's a good song.
No, this is a revisit smoke wagon, uncut and unfiltered.
We didn't talk about the bourbon from last week.
Well, let's cover this one since we have it up.
All right.
This one first.
This is our bourbon segment here.
So this is this is made in Vegas.
It's very, very good.
And I learned because when I was in Vegas, I wanted to go visit the distillery.
Well, Nevada does not allow you to really distilleries.
Interesting.
They don't allow you to visit them.
Correct.
Why?
Some state law, some stupid, but there were a lot of prostitution back then.
Yeah.
So I can go to the bunny ranch.
Yes.
But I can't go to the smoke wagon.
I would recommend you go to the bunny ranch.
They got a lot of video cameras there.
Yeah, they do.
Yeah.
What was the basketball player that got caught in there?
All of them.
Dwayne.
No, he was the super tall.
The guy that was on the reality show.
No, he played for the Kardashian or played for the Mavericks for a while.
He got he went to a coma because he took drugs.
Remember that?
And they found them at the bunny ranch, didn't they?
He had to rush to the hospital.
He was married to Chloe Kardashian or somebody like one.
One of those.
Who knows?
Anyway, they for the Lakers, Odom, Lamar Odom.
Correct.
Bam.
I nailed it.
Anyway, this is uncut and unfiltered.
It's just it's a pub under one sixteen proof.
A pub.
One fifteen point seven eight.
Well, with your pubes, that's a pretty big one because you don't have you have stocks.
Very coarse.
So you're saying then if your pubes are like your nose hairs, 20 branches, 20 second hundreds
of a of an inch.
Pubes is a form of measurement.
In what country?
In the dudes like this world.
It's the imperial measurement.
It's a new one.
But this is really, really good.
Let's just scroll down and see if we can't pick up some of the DLU state.
Yes.
We always like reading some of these noses, palates and stuff.
Just the ridiculousness of some of the stuff.
All right.
Well, let's let's first I'm going to take a sec because I've had a couple of sips, but
I haven't really taken it.
So now we're going to we've got a Glencairn glass, guys, and Paul went a little was a
little overzealous on the poor.
Yeah.
Yes.
Guilty as charged.
The key is to aerate it, swish it.
Oh, it went down.
Do we have a virgin with us here tonight?
What is happening?
Stuck on his hymen.
I tasted it.
Wow.
I tasted it.
It's in everything.
Do you need some water?
So your eyes are watering.
It's up your nose.
Everything.
Yeah.
We had a podcast I listened to this week to go where I got bourbon bourbon of this proof
up my nose.
Yes.
And it burned the back of my eyeballs.
So if that has happened to you here, I was all right.
Not it was in the front.
And so that but you know what?
It was painful when it happened 30 seconds ago.
But now now it's like really your eyes are still watering.
Yes.
It's sweet, though.
It really is.
It's sweet.
It's not very it's not loud.
It doesn't have a lot.
It's not hot.
It doesn't taste hot for being what it is.
Right.
Yeah.
What is it?
What's one?
One sixty one.
One twenty.
Yeah.
Well, ours may be a little bit different.
On the screen there.
Mr. Producer, what does it say on the bottle?
It's hard to read, but you can you can see.
He's got young eyes.
I know young eyes.
It says the palette.
It's a whirlwind of sweet.
Twenty five fruity and dark flavors.
One five fifty nine.
That's it.
So it's one eighteen.
OK, there you go.
We're not we're mathletes.
But there's some sweetness to it.
I get it up.
It says sweet caramel combined with raspberry chocolate covered cherries leather.
Yeah, you can't have chocolate covered cherries without leather.
All right.
So let's let's process this because now with our Jeff and I's new found education on the
bourbon process, now we'll probably figure out what type of char this is based on this.
Well, this is lots of I call bullshit.
I bet it's a three or four.
Are you over the two point eight?
I think it's a three point two three point two because in the palette that I see no cinnamons.
Yeah, this is sweet caramels.
Those are typically a chocolate and leather and rich oaks are typically as a result of
third tier.
Charring.
If you guys are trying to rub in the fact that you went to this distillery without me
with all this newfound knowledge and all you are actually both failing miserably.
I just want to we're not trying to rub it in.
Look, we had a good time.
I mean, it was me.
Let me go back and replay that in my hearing aids.
Well, with our newfound knowledge, Sean, do we want to share what we've all that was you,
Sean?
Never mind.
It was Jeff.
Oh, wow.
Wow.
Well, you know, we felt Paul doesn't understand this stuff because he wasn't there.
Look, so first of all, Friday's total wine.
I'm sorry.
Before this, let's finish this up.
So the nose, the palate.
Obviously, this is a level three char based on this.
I wouldn't think it's more of that because it'd be more it could be between a three and
a four.
I don't even know other variations.
I mean, I would think that would be it'd be kind of hard.
Three and a half.
Of course.
I mean, it's not an exact science.
Right.
When they stick the flaming thing inside the barrel and they kind of torch it.
Combined with a wonderful buttery mouth feel, this assembly creates an enjoyable and memorable
sip.
Albite, a somewhat chaotic one.
I mean, I would agree with this.
It's a lot going on.
So the palate does release all that.
I mean, it really does.
There's a lot going on in this one.
Can you go up, Mr. Producer, just a little bit?
And there is some sweetness to it.
So the the finish fully transitions to a darker flavor, the profile with leather cigar and
dry oak as it focus.
These notes linger well after the sip is gone, creating a dry aftertaste.
Like cherry undertones can be detected, but unfortunately a bit too muted.
So they're saying that the light cherry undertones are detected, but then they go away instantly.
Is that what it's saying?
But let me let me try that.
Yeah.
A bit are a bit too muted.
Meaning they don't linger, I guess.
Light cherry undertones can be detected.
Yeah, they're very soft.
Yeah, I can.
But they disappear quick.
It's more of a stone fruit.
You can taste it.
Well, cherry is a stone fruit.
Well, there you go.
Jeff sends me a text message.
They do exist.
I think that's funny, man.
What is it?
It was boxes and boxes of stone fruit at Costco.
Was it HEB?
It was HEB.
What was in the boxes?
I didn't even look.
I just saw stone fruit listed like 30 times.
I was like, yeah, no, we enjoyed that.
Yes.
So the uniqueness of the smoke wagon was quick to gain the fanfare of a lot of bourbon drinkers in a relatively short amount of time.
Maybe it had to do with their rough and tumble image or their unlikely origin of a Nevada or that their bottle design name speaks to a modern bourbon drinks.
I don't really like the bottle design.
Look at it.
And it's difficult to read.
It's dark, but it is unique.
It's brown glass.
It's amber glass.
Yeah.
I think it's cool.
Well, OK, it is cool, but it's still difficult to read.
It is for old people.
But luckily, young people drink this.
Don't they?
So this is so they don't distill their stuff.
So this is done distilled product producer.
So we probably need to look at the finish it.
Well, they could it could be M.G.P.
It could be it could be Heavens.
It could be Dickel.
We have to look at the bottle to see where it's distilled from.
So OK, so once again, it is smoke wagon, right?
Yeah, smoke wagon uncut and unfiltered.
OK, very good.
It's about 80 bucks a bottle.
So it's not it's not the cheap one, but it's good.
Yeah, it's a good one to have on a shelf.
And you know what?
I think it's excellent.
It's a great sipping bourbon.
It doesn't require a cube or ice.
And frankly, it doesn't.
It doesn't. My opinion, it doesn't.
You know, I mean, it certainly wouldn't hurt to have it on over a cube.
You know, I've been I've been experimenting at nights
with drinking bourbons at my house because I don't want to have like a full glass
of bourbon and drink it.
And I don't I definitely don't want to pour another one.
Right. So I've been I've been poor bourbon and drinking it neat
and just taking like every five, 10 minutes just pulling a sip.
Yep. Yeah. And that's that's what I've been doing.
And I find that, well, first of all, I don't get fucked up.
Right. You know, and you're enjoying the bourbon.
You're not. Yes. You're not drinking.
You're not drinking. That's the difference between kind of where we're at in our life
and where our boys are at. Yeah.
They're like, I'm getting fucked up.
What's the point of drinking if you're not going to get drunk, Dad?
Yes. But I will.
I will tell you that I have thoroughly enjoyed that yellow rose 10th anniversary.
I wouldn't know. I've never had it.
I had it. You were over at the house. You had opportunity.
No, he wasn't there. No, no.
I mean, remember you were like, hey, should we invite Jeff?
And I was like, I think we should.
I mean, he was out of fucking town.
We went to him and you're like, no, fuck that.
And I said, dude, I said, he's really important to us.
You said, bitch, please.
Oh, I remember saying bitch, please. But I don't think it was in that.
We'll save a little bit because I do want to taste it.
Oh, I've got about a half a bottle.
Well, Wes came over and he didn't have any respect for it.
He was just like, that's why you have a did not like it.
No, no. That's why you have a bottle of something to pull out when.
Well, OK, but what he did, he came over and said, try this.
And he poured a shot, poured another shot, poured another shot.
I was like, dude, do you realize that's like one hundred and seventeen proof?
You dial it back. And the next thing you know, he's fucked.
Face down. I get a you put him on a dolly.
I get a I get a picture from Desiree with him asleep on the couch in his sit up position.
First of all, dudes like us out there.
How many of you motherfuckers can sleep sitting up with his he sits up?
He's like in the sitting position and his elbows are on his knees.
And he just sits there and he falls asleep with his head down.
I've never seen that ever.
Well, I think if the three of us did three shots of yellow rose within like three minutes.
Well, I don't know. I'd be sleeping sleeping in any position I could think of.
Right. So I mean, the dinosaur, the dinosaur, the dinosaur.
One of the things the sun bleaching, one of the things that I know bleaching.
I've heard that what you do is you get like one of the that's healthy, the decanter or whatever.
Just a plain bottle that you buy, you put your whiskey in and you put a decent bourbon in there.
But like early times or foolproof or something like that. Yeah.
You don't put your high dollar ship something that doesn't break.
So when someone comes over, it's good.
They look at it like, oh, what is that? That must be really nice.
And you're like, it's like early times.
In fact, I just gave you can tell them whatever it is.
Oh, that's that's bland. You can have all you want.
Oh, so you tell them, sure.
That we're going to know. That's fantastic.
And they have a taste for that 200 year calumny.
Two hundred. You're damn right.
It tastes like a tree.
Last time somebody drank the fucking declaration of independence.
Declarations.
Declarations. In fact, they use the the pens to sign the declarations.
They use the pens.
The actual wood from the pens were staves used in the company.
Well, you have a really good inexpensive one. Granddad won 14 early times.
Whatever. Yeah, sure.
And yeah, I agree.
I agree. I had a bottle of the bottle of bond early times at the house.
And Desiree came over in a I don't want to say drunk and stupor, but she came over.
She was like, we need something to drink. We ran out.
And I was like, what?
And I was playing a video game and I was like, what?
And then she's like, I said, go get something.
And then my inner monologue is like, dude.
And so I was like, whoa, I took the headphones off.
You're like, wait a second. They may find that.
Yeah. So I went back to it. I was like, let me let me let me.
I went in there. I grabbed us.
I took a quick look and I was like, oh, the other time.
There you go. There you go. Right. That's going to work.
That's going to work. It's solid. It's solid.
They're in the shitty cabinet where I'm fine.
I don't know. Dirty. That was good shit. But it's early time.
It's it's 20 bucks. Yeah. 20, 24 bucks or whatever it is.
And it's good. It's solid. It's dependable. Yeah.
And you get a liter of it. I know. And then rare breed.
Rare breeds about 55 bucks. Yeah. It's gone up a price.
It just keeps creeping up there, man. So good.
But it is good. Rare breed. Try Turkey.
And it's it's early times by Turkey as well. No.
Who makes early? I think there's a Sazerac.
I think Brown Foreman makes early times now.
They just sold it. I think Sazerac owned it.
And then they sold it. Name is Sazerac.
Is that like European?
It's more like Middle Eastern. Eastern. I know. It's just strange.
Are we saying Middle Eastern names?
Whenever I hear it. No, just whenever I hear that name,
it doesn't sound like a bourbon distiller.
You know what I mean? It's more like a more like a seltzer.
Yeah, I don't know what it is. Hey, when you drink it over there,
I'm drinking some Sazerac. Raspberry.
It's actually the name of a drink as well. Sazerac.
It's just a strange. I would be curious what the origin of that is.
So is Zephyr. Yes. It's an elixir.
John's inner nerd just erupted while we were at Total Wine.
Let's walk through the Total Wine experiment.
So we go to the Total Wine thing and we do our thing.
And Chuck's with us, by the way.
And so, God bless it, was it just Chuck? Yeah, it was just Chuck.
So Chuck, us three. And we go through there and yeah,
we go over to the back area. So we talked to Jodie.
I don't think she was there at first, so I think we passed Jodie.
And then we went over to the next station,
which wasn't where the dark tequila is,
which is the middle one right before you get to the bourbon.
The main tasting desk area. Yeah, we got a little section.
A little kiosk. So we go to this area,
this is like very attractive 30s lady.
And I wasn't really thinking about that.
I was just more just kind of just like, hey, we got over here.
She was like, I got gin. And I was kind of like, yeah, like.
Everything so much. Everything puckered on that one.
However, we sampled it because I was kind of like, all right,
well, let me try the dark one. Let's see how this goes on.
And so he was like, she was like, it's called Zephyr.
Zephyr, right? Zephyr. Zephyr.
And I was like, oh, yeah, that's that's a I can remember that.
That's that's that's an elixir on the World of Warcraft game.
I'll definitely remember that, you know, World of Warcraft.
I remember that elixir gave me plus 25 mana. 30.
So I just I want to soak this up.
So he's standing standing in front of a very attractive 30 year old woman.
Yes. Losing man points like it was bad.
And Kevin was standing there. We're just like, dude, we're like,
we're not with this guy. Yes. At all.
That's 30 percent bonus man for like 10 minutes or something like that.
And then what you do, she goes, oh, my God, I would play World of Warcraft 2.
No, she was like, I said any of that. She was love that.
No, but I don't care, man. It was funny.
Even Kevin, he was kind of like he was standing behind us
and he just wants to like he's just waiting for some stupid
stuff come out of my mouth or any one of our mouths, mostly my mouth.
And then like five minutes later, like we had one less follower on our channel.
Correct. Correct.
No, but it's just funny because I said, oh, it's like it's an elixir on World of Warcraft.
And you hear Kevin, he's walking by, it's like, I can't believe fucking this.
Yeah, it was a big power down at that point.
Then we tried the other one. It was even more fruity. I'll tell you what.
For a gin? For a gin, that was good. I enjoyed it.
It wasn't super dry. It was kind of fruity and well rounded.
No, would I buy it? No, because I'm not a gin fan, but
that one was that one did not completely turn me off.
I have not had. She was beautiful.
I have not had gin since I hurled my Whataburger back in 90, 1990.
Yeah, I've never been a fan of gin. 91 maybe.
I think of gin as an extremely old person drink.
100%. It's kind of like a British person. I'm going to have some tea.
Like a gin and tonic. Yeah, I would make my grandmother
highballs. A beef eater. Yep.
And it was gin and it was vermouth. It was something else too.
She told me exactly how to make it and she would be sitting or drinking them
and she put her glass on her head when she needed another one.
I'd hurry over there and I'd make it for her.
Oh, Paul, this is great. Can you make me another one?
And this time put a little bit more beef in it. It wasn't like that.
Does she have the onions in there?
You little shit, make me a drink.
The onions and did you make it a dirty martini?
I bet he did.
I just made it the way exactly how she wanted me to make it.
Olives. Did you put olives in there or onions?
No, no onions. I don't even believe there was an olive in there.
So if you have an onion based gin drink, what would they call that?
That onion based gin drink. Shitty?
A Gibson I think. I have no idea.
I was going with shitty. Actually it's pretty good. Those little onions are very tasty.
The little pearl onions? Well, the onions are one thing.
I can't do gin. I can do a vodka martini. I don't know if they can do a gin.
I enjoyed gin. I tell you what, if you start drinking gin and tonics with lime
and you have a tall glass, you do gin and tonic with lime and it's a hot fucking day
and you can drink a glass of gin and tonic with lime.
Way easier than you think you can.
And the next thing you know, and I will say this from Mark's experience.
Remember Mark, our friend?
I don't know if Mark listens to podcasts, but if he does, I will share with you Mark's experience.
I had left. We were in the garage. We were doing some fiddling around.
And he was like, hey, I'm going to make a drink. You want one? I said, no, I've got to go.
And he calls me up about an hour later and says, hey man, I got lost.
He drank his drink and made another drink and got so fucked up he walked down the alley and got lost.
In his own neighborhood.
He said, I forgot where the fuck I was at. I had no idea.
And he ended up walking like a mile around the maybe half a mile around the whole neighborhood trying to get back to my house.
Who knows how that feels? Who does that? Who gets lost walking home?
That's ridiculous.
And then like falls in the field.
What a fool. I love him. Can't believe we did that.
Pick me Shaman families.
I don't know what you guys are talking about.
We have pictures.
Yeah, you and your fricking jeans.
I felt it was like Gulliver's Travel.
He was getting up and it was like strings all over me and a little people crawling all over me and shit.
And I was like, my wife left me as her fault.
She did leave you.
She did. And she didn't like hesitate at all.
I was like, I was like, I don't even know what I was upset about.
That was my 50th birthday.
Oh my God.
I was like, you know, I'll just walk home. She's like, okay.
I was like, damn. She just left.
No, actually what I said was...
There's nothing that would change him.
He's like, oh, that's cool.
He went inside.
And I don't remember what you got.
You were like, no, Paul.
I was like, I'm fine.
I'm just fine.
You just went.
I'm just that way, right?
Oh my God.
What should have been, I think a 10 minute walk
took was an hour and 15 minutes.
I fell twice.
I was like all bloody,
walking across barbed wire minefields somewhere.
Didn't you have like mud everywhere?
Oh, I, it was a wreck.
I was a wreck.
My jeans were covered in mud
because I had fallen three or four times.
Well, so first of all, we were at Jeff's house
from a club.
It was awful.
We drove home about a mile and a half to Jeff's house.
And then we're going to go to our houses
and your wife leaves you.
You're like, I want to walk home.
She's like, fine.
I'm trying to stop.
You live about a mile and a half from there,
maybe almost two.
And instead of going directly west,
which I went north.
I went northwest.
You went north.
You went directly north behind the 7-Eleven.
Did you know I'm the 7-Eleven?
But when you look,
you can see on the light 360,
it is a straight ass line, but it is.
So you cut through neighbors, yards and shit.
I was going through.
Yeah, no, I didn't climb over any fences.
I wasn't that drunk.
But I was walking through alleyways, right?
And like lights were turning on,
like the motion detector lights and shit.
So I'm sure I was that creepy guy on the ring.
Stumbling.
Yeah.
There's the sky.
Oh my God.
You have any chin?
I was checking like my truck doors
to see if they're open.
Oh God, it was awful.
So it was so bad.
That after I shared with the distributor female chick
that there was an elixir that she was serving.
We ended up,
we were heading our way to the God-blessed furniture store.
And Jeff's like, hey man,
maybe you ought to try a place called The Owl.
And I was like, huh.
Oh, I have no idea what you're talking about.
You know, Paul's not here.
Why don't we do something fun?
I think he prefaced it with that.
Something fun and different.
I think that's exactly what he said.
I feel an air of change happening right now.
I think let's just run with it.
Let's run with it.
And then, and of course.
And Chuck was like, I know exactly what to do
because I'm the dudes without Paul kind of night.
He called himself the alternate.
You didn't have a problem with him when Jeff was gone.
D'Artagnan.
Wow.
He called himself the D'Artagnan, the fourth musketeer.
What?
Hold on, the what?
He called himself the what?
D'Artagnan, the fourth musketeer.
Okay.
All right.
I really am not familiar with that guy.
AKA the alternate for the Dudes on Gus podcast.
But anyway, so we ended up going to The Owl
and I have not heard of that place.
Well, we were.
It's brand new.
It's been open a month, maybe two months.
Oh wow, okay.
It's kind of cool.
It's got a lot of doughy kind of based appetizers
and food there, but it was a win for me.
The pretzels were outstanding.
It didn't have an excellent bourbon.
Yeah, it had some.
That's what you sent in the picture.
I thought it was a really good bourbon.
I sent you a list.
Was that somewhere else?
No, that was there.
It has about 50 bourbons, maybe.
And is that where they made the mistake
on the 10-year McKenna?
Yes.
And it was like $5 10-year McKenna.
Five-year.
Yeah, we didn't notice that until later
because if we noticed, we were seeing that at first,
because we were kind of like $5 and I was like, McKenna.
It's gotta be the brown.
And I went up there, oh, it's gotta be the brown.
But I went up there, there was no brown.
Well, I saw the 10-year and I was like,
surely, surely they're not giving a $5 10-year
Henry McKenna.
And they were.
And you went up and asked.
I did.
You idiot.
Well, he would have known the very first pour
because he was the general manager, the bartender.
And when I went up there, he was like, that's a typo.
He turned around, looked at the 10-year bottle,
saw the $5, he was like, that's a typo.
And the girl at the computer, she was like,
and she was like, no, it says $5 right here.
That's a typo too.
And I was like, and you were like, we'll have 50 more.
Yeah, that's what I said.
That's what I said.
It was my bad, we'll buy the fucking bottle.
Well, I mean, we ended up having one.
Well, you said they'd honor it for the night.
Yeah, well, they said they would honor it for the night.
They would honor it for the night.
For the whole night, they said they would do that?
They would, yeah, but we only had one more.
Oh. You idiots.
Well, I mean, they ended up buying us around
because we moved from one table to the other.
Yeah, they wanted to combine our,
because we had a big table.
Yeah.
And then they had a big party.
They asked, hey, any chance you could move over
to the fourth time?
We'll buy you a round of drinks.
And I was like, trying to negotiate.
I was like, well, technically a round was a beer
and a shot, so does that mean we got six drinks coming to you?
He's like, no, one drink each.
He's like, what an asshole.
Oh, I'll have a gallon of bourbon.
That's my trick.
A triple.
A triple 10 year McKenna.
Yes.
Yeah, we'll have that one.
So we ended up there at the Owl and, you know, it was a.
You would recommend it then.
I do.
I do recommend going there.
They're going to start a karaoke up there on Thursday,
Friday night ish.
And I recommended Johnny Dubiel, the karaoke master
of the Metroplex to head over there.
I don't even know if.
I didn't even share that.
I probably need to call him.
He probably needs to go up there, but whatever.
Side note.
Anyways, our waitress is kind of cool.
But Living Spaces has $2 beers.
Well, we totally sidestepped that.
In fact, speaking of Living Spaces, our bartender, Sean,
has completely.
Missed out tonight.
You know, he had texted me several times today.
Oh, and he was like, hey, can I come on the podcast?
And I was like, well, yeah, sure.
Let's go and talk to Jeff.
And I was like, you know, what do you think?
And Jeff's like, oh, that's fine.
So I don't recall you asking me.
That's weird.
You were unavailable.
Huh?
Strange.
I thought we make all decisions together.
You were, again, unavailable.
What's the trend happening here?
It carried on to the next day when we decided to wake up.
And we were talking about, let's go to 1845.
Yeah!
Hold on a second.
I get a phone call, and it's Scott, our ex-guest on here.
He's Scott.
He's like, hey, what are you guys doing?
He was like, we're just over here at the aisle.
I was like, oh.
I was like, hey, we're thinking about going to 1845.
1845, I heard of that place.
Let's go.
I'm so bitter.
I was like, well, you know what?
He said, you got to sign up for the thing.
It's just like, we can just go to the tasting room.
Yes.
I was like, oh, well, I guess we can do that too.
So Scott's like, well, hold on.
He was on the internet.
He was checking real quick.
They got four slots available.
I was like, book them.
All four.
And he booked them.
So cool.
There's no charge.
It's a free tour.
Yeah, it looks like you guys had fun.
And the samples.
I mean, it was hard to tell.
I think 163 pitchers.
And it looked like you had a good time.
Well, it was good.
And the samples, you get four.
And they don't charge you for them.
What?
No.
It was free.
We're doing that Saturday, right?
Yeah.
20 times.
I signed this up for one, two, three, and four.
Consecutive tastings.
And then you can go out and do the same with the wine.
And we had like seven or eight different wines.
So it was fun.
So that's awesome.
I already signed this up.
Block three.
Blocked three for us at 2 o'clock.
You have your Uber.
You don't get that drunk.
Yeah, we're not going to get fucked up.
No, that's fine.
Yeah, you don't.
But it'll keep reporting.
But afterwards, we went to Tupps, I think, right?
Yeah, we went to Tupps.
We went to Tupps because we were leaving there.
We were like, hey, let's do another tour real quick.
So we went over to Tupps.
Tupps is a beer brewery.
Brewery.
So we're thinking on the next door.
It's kind of on the way back.
15 ways.
It's towards McKinney.
OK.
In McKinney.
And we went there.
And we're thinking, well, they don't have to do tours today.
And then we pull up.
And then it was like, hey, you guys part of the wedding?
We're like, no, we're not part of the wedding.
Yes, we are.
Well, that's my intermodel.
And he was like, yes, we are.
Yes, we are.
Are you part of the welcoming package?
And you're like, yeah, we've known
Don and Sarah, yeah, yeah, Bill and Marsha forever.
No, it's Bob and Jen.
But whatever.
Whatever.
So we ended up driving around.
And we parked.
We went inside.
It's hot.
It's extremely hot in there.
Even with the big ass fans, it was still kind of hot.
Really?
Yeah, it just, I mean, it's just really hot air.
Well, hold on.
So they let you in even though you
weren't part of the wedding party?
They have a huge bar in there is what they've got.
Yeah, they've got.
OK.
Well, the Tuppes Brew area, the Tuppes Brew is a big place.
I mean, I don't know what the building was.
Was it like a bread manufacturing place?
They baked a bunch of breads there or something like that.
It's a big warehouse and a big open venue.
Then they have another one right next door,
all the same property.
And they have an open bar that's available for everybody.
You can go up there, show up, drink what you want.
It's hot as fuck.
Sometimes they have live bands there.
They had live music for them.
They had music playing for a while,
but I guess it ran out or something.
They got about, what, 15 beers on top maybe?
Yeah, they got a lot.
It's all Tuppes.
Yeah, it's all Tuppes stuff.
You sample all their shit.
Very cool.
Yeah, it was all right.
I mean, I'm really not into beers as much as when Jeff
and I were first hanging out.
We were like a beer enthusiast.
We were like, eee.
Yeah, you guys were into all the IPAs and the micro brews
and the 800 calories beers.
But for some reason, it was good back then.
Now it's too much for me now.
I don't.
Like, when you try it, you don't enjoy them?
I don't.
My palate has completely changed now.
I don't enjoy them.
I have a hard time drinking.
Because it's gone real man.
You have a real man palate now.
Both of you do.
Well, it's also the realization that I put on 15, 20 pounds
when I was doing that.
Just by that.
Bar hopping in the IPAs.
No, the craft beer.
My fridge was full of shit.
Well, yeah.
I mean, that was the whole thing, man.
We would go and buy like.
I mean, I would buy like the LA Boulevard beers, which
came in liter bottles.
And the LA Boulevard puts out, you know, quadruple.
Sounds like a 600 calorie bottle.
Oh, at least 10.5% beer.
You know, you get like the LA Boulevard Triplet.
Is that what it's called?
I don't know.
Triplet is kind of like very small bubbles.
Super strong.
Right.
Anyways, it's just really high octane stuff.
So yeah, I don't get into that stuff anymore.
So after Tufts, we ended up going to one other place.
What was it?
I forget.
What a long day you guys had.
To the barbecue joint.
Oh, that's right.
We went to the barbecue joint.
The butchery.
We went to the.
Well, thank God.
I hate barbecue.
So.
Oh.
We didn't eat.
Actually.
Well, Scott bought some.
We got a taco.
We've got a big old brisket taco, which is kind of nice.
And a couple of beers.
And then we went on a tour of Scott's family's property
out there.
And we were driving around the cows,
which is the picture part of the picture.
Oh, you think you went to the barbecue shack?
Yes, the barbecue shack.
Oh, OK.
Yeah.
So we went out there.
We went to the gun range out there.
We went out by the lake.
We were.
I mean, it was all just, oh, we shot like 100,000 rounds,
it feels like.
For real?
No.
You did not shoot.
We drove out there.
But.
I had to stick to the truck.
There were some sketchy spots.
I wasn't quite sure I was going to make it through.
There was a.
Because you're out.
So you're all like in your truck.
In my truck.
Driving around.
Four wheel drive.
Had to throw in the four wheel drive.
Yeah.
Damn.
And there's one section.
I hate you guys.
And there's one.
We'll do it again.
Yeah.
There's one section where there's no road anymore.
And you're going up.
And all the cows are coming down from the lake.
Oh, because they're wanting to know what's going on.
They're thinking there's food coming.
Well, they see us.
And they're like, you guys are fat.
You got food.
Yeah.
So there's fences all around.
So there's a gate.
And the turn is kind of weird.
There's this big humongous roots.
And all kinds of stuff going straight up this hill.
And the cows are coming down.
They have baby cows.
Here I am in this truck trying to not hit them.
And they're scrambling around.
Scott's like, just push through.
Just push through.
They'll move.
That's so cool.
Yeah.
So they're moving.
You have this ranch experience right here.
Oh, yeah.
Right here in North Texas.
Yeah.
And then I got through that.
Well, he explained that the second largest ranch in Texas
was right up to the gate of it.
Second largest outside of the King Ranch.
And I drive my motorcycle all around up there.
And they have the same initials everywhere.
I don't know.
Something?
DLU?
No.
Dudes, I guess.
I don't think it's.
That would be awesome.
Yeah.
With all these branches.
What could happen?
Not yet.
I think we need a couple more listeners.
Yeah.
There's tons.
And it has the same lettering, same paint,
all over the place up there.
It's like thousands of acres.
Yeah.
You're probably right.
Yeah.
No.
But there was another section that
was a little sketch driving.
When we got up to the top right there by the lake,
where the road was kind of on top of an angled thing.
So what they did is.
On the top of a dam almost.
But they.
If I missed it.
Pushed the earth.
And they created a lift of dirt.
It had been there probably 10 years.
And that's what Jeff drove on.
So basically, they had a bulldozer
that was pushing a bunch of shit in.
And it created a large area.
It's about 20 feet.
How do you think?
It was pretty high.
And it was wide too.
So Jeff was able to get a truck up there.
Well, I drove up it.
And it was about as wide as my truck.
So if I wasn't paying attention.
If I wasn't paying attention, like I
hit a 1845 distillery and a bunch of wine and beer and stuff.
I was going to say you did that.
Yeah, but if I would have slid down,
we probably would have rolled the truck.
So a little sketch, did fine.
Turned around, came back.
But you survived.
It was much easier.
Yeah, it was fun.
Yeah, it was good.
And note to self.
Note to self.
And note to you.
And Jeff already knows.
When you be very sensitive when it comes to dinnertime.
Dinnertime.
Yes.
Right.
So we cannot allow Julie to not have something
to eat at dinnertime.
She becomes ravenous, apparently.
She gets angry.
Yeah.
Just like you guys do.
And the residual.
Yes, even lasted afterwards.
But let me ask you a question.
So I've always wondered.
So is it like a routine thing?
Like Friday nights you and Julie make dinner
and you sit down together and eat?
Part of it.
There's routines or routines?
Part of that.
And part of it is when she gets hungry, she needs to eat.
So do you normally cook?
Either that or we'll get a pizza on a Friday sometimes.
Actually, we haven't got pizza in a while.
My point is she never cooks.
Well, she was waiting for me.
Right.
OK.
So it was a routine thing.
Right.
Now, had you been said, if you had said, listen,
we're out in the country.
We're having a ball.
Do your own thing.
Yeah, she would have been like, all right,
I'll cook me something.
OK.
But I said.
So this is your fault.
Partly, yes.
For not telling her.
Right.
Well, I said I'll be home at 630.
When I get home at 7 or 715 is the problem.
See, at 615, you should have said we're having a ball.
Well, the problem is I say.
And we just had.
Oh, no, I said, hey, we'll be heading out here soon.
Oh.
Then another round is bought.
And we're drinking it.
Yeah.
And then it just does this.
Do what I do, which is this is going to be a binge all night.
It's going to be a bender.
We're going to turn the corner here soon.
Honey, I may not see you this weekend.
Yes.
And then you show up.
I may be nude next time you see me.
And then you show up 10 till 7.
And she's like, I was so angry.
But you're here in front of me.
You didn't do all those things.
I said, honey, baby.
I'm still naked.
No.
I'm still naked.
No, the first thing I did, I had
one of those care off things, but I'm covered in urine.
What Paul, what did you do here?
And who's urine was it?
Well, did you see those cows and how much they were releasing?
Oh, it's amazing.
So when you saw them peeing, you jumped out of the truck
and started rolling around.
I was basking in it.
Sean was peeing out there.
And he's like, that cow's turned out to be.
Did you really?
You peed out there?
And the cow did.
He's peeing at the same time.
I was like, holy shit.
But when that cow peed, like on you, he.
No.
He was.
No, he was.
Were you on the cow?
I was nowhere near the car.
You peed on the cow while the cow was peeing.
This cow had an incredible volume of urine.
It was just like unleashing.
So you know, they have the normal.
You have 21.4 seconds, I think, is the average urination
of animals.
And that cow released.
Where are you pulling this shit?
There's no way you could know what the average urination
period is.
Producer, pull that up.
Average urination.
I'm going to fact check this.
Average urination.
What, for humans?
For animals?
Average urination time?
Just average urination period.
Hit it right there, bam.
Oh, god.
EP67.
No, no, no.
Just seconds.
Wait, hold on.
Yeah, let's roll with this.
How long is it?
No, hold on.
No, just how many seconds?
Average urination time, seconds.
How long?
Or duration.
Duration.
I cannot believe we're looking this up.
20 seconds.
From house cats to elephants, most mammals
take about 20 seconds to urinate.
OK, it's that goes for humans as well.
Look down there.
The 21 second rule.
There we go.
That 20 seconds is not accurate.
That's for house cats and elephants.
No, it says from house cats to elephants, most mammals.
You're actually right, by the way.
I mean, I'll give it to you.
It feels like I do more than a one cup sometimes when I pee.
I'm thinking it's a good half gallon sometimes.
One cup?
One cup doesn't seem like much.
No, it doesn't.
It really doesn't.
No.
There's sometimes I'm just like, damn, that was at least half
a gallon.
I think we need to challenge ourselves.
I think we need to hold it as long as he pops the can
to where we're really, really uncomfortable.
Is that does that contribute to issues with your prostate?
I don't see how.
Well, the prostate affects the sensation of having to pee.
Well, and it also affects how quickly it comes out.
I thought if you hold your pee, it does something bad.
Oh, in general?
It hurts your kidneys and your bladder.
Yeah, I thought if you hold your pee, something bad happens to you.
I thought it instigates some sort of issue with your prostate.
Let's start a new TikTok challenge.
You know those TikTok challenges where people die
and do stupid shit?
This one won't kill you.
We will hold our pee as long as we can
and see who can get the most volume.
Dude, I am the master of that.
Oh, really?
And I won't say the master, but I will tell you,
I have challenged the system because of the times
that I have to drive.
And the goal is to get back to the house without peeing.
Remember that time I told you?
But have you ever measured it?
Oh, volume wise, no.
Yeah, we need a Purex.
What are those big glass with the handle?
Like measuring.
Like a Kool-Aid container?
No.
Chemistry.
Like a beaker?
No, I'm just thinking the regular graduated cylinder.
The regular glass cup thing.
A measuring cup?
Yeah, like a measuring cup.
A Purex.
Oh, Pyrex.
Oh, is it Pyrex?
How do you know?
Because I got them downstairs.
I'm going to fact check that, too.
How do you pronounce Purex?
It's P-Y-R-E-X.
It's Pyrexia.
It's Pyrex.
Right now, I'm so bitter at you guys
for doing all these things without me
that I'm going to challenge everything you say
for the rest of this podcast.
Well, you even went out and said,
Ethan, my wife was calling this pulverly man, didn't you?
Oh, of course I was.
Yeah.
Ha ha.
And then everyone agreed to do this thing, OK?
It wasn't just me.
Oh, it was.
Jeff, Chuck, Scott, and myself.
But I'm the only one not invited to Colorado.
I said it.
I said everyone's welcome except for Sean.
Yeah.
No one even said anything.
I was the one that was sending pictures.
Was he good?
I was sending pictures trying to include you in our experience.
And here you are taking it all negative.
Mr. Butthurt.
OK, first off.
Instead of feeling good for us that we're enjoying it,
you're enjoying life, we're enjoying life.
And instead of being happy for us, you're all bitter.
Like, oh, you guys should have waited for me, Mr. Selfish.
Meanwhile, back in the Hall of Justice,
I'm sitting on a deck with absolutely nothing to do.
And I have the fastest internet I've ever seen in my life
because I did Starlink, Elon Musk, whatever.
So walk us through that whole program.
No, and I'm talking about my Starlink.
So Starlink, start from the beginning.
Well, you did Three Girls in a Cup, you said, right?
Do what?
Three Girls in a Cup?
Oh, that's Two Girls in a Cup.
Well, yeah, but you said three.
Oh.
Help me here.
What are we talking about?
So you wanted the Starlink.
And walk me through the process of how you get it.
So you find out what it is because I was like, hey,
man, you should get Starlink from you.
So we have HughesNet up at this cabin.
You have no other internet options.
And HughesNet sucks.
It's slow, and you have very limited data.
And if you have family members that come up that stream shit,
it's like you wake up in the morning and says,
your data's all gone.
You're going to have to buy another token.
We literally spent $200 in tokens
when we stayed there for a week.
Well, HughesNet knows this.
There is no other option.
We can do what we want.
Exactly.
Well, there is another option now.
Elon Musk came along and launched a billion low-orbit
satellites.
And Starlink is fast as shit, man.
And it's super easy to set up.
And boom, now suddenly all of our internet concerns
went away, bandwidth, speed, you name it.
And I can turn it off.
You have to do it in one month increments.
Before we get into that, let's talk about the apparatus,
the hardware that you have to have to do this.
Let's take a dish, satellite dish.
So it is a little tripod-looking thing with a square.
It's weird.
It's a white square dish.
And for one thing, I didn't do a permanent setup
because I want to bring it in.
I just put it on the deck where there
was an open view of the sky and ran the cord through the window,
propped open the screen, and plugged it
into the router inside the house.
And the thing goes, unh, unh.
I was like, damn.
Oh, it builds on itself.
That's tight, man.
It was so cool.
We were sitting on the deck, and it was
searching for obstructions.
It was measuring the sky and stuff.
But we didn't know what it was going to do.
So we're just sitting out there talking all of a sudden.
We're like, it was like a creepy robot movie type.
Anyway, pretty cool, man.
Fast as shit.
So now you've got the hardware set up.
Now you've got the speed of the internet.
Now as far as the service itself,
you mentioned it's like $200 a month.
So there's different packages.
If you live up there full time, you
can do a package where it's $120 a month.
And it's like meant to be on all the time, permanent outside,
whatever.
But if you're like an RV person, or you go up to a cabin
like once, one month a year, or one week a year,
you do the mobile package, which is $150 a month.
But you can turn it off.
You can pause it.
So you pay for it for a month.
You use it for the week you're there, and you just pay $150.
That's it.
So you're not paying $150 every month when it's not being used.
That's good.
And what you would probably want to do
is like if you have a like in my situation,
I'll be there the first week.
My brother will come up the second week.
I mean, we did that before because we're caring for my mom
and we needed to like rotate.
Somebody needed to be there with them.
But we could swing it so that, hey, man, I'm
going to turn it on this month.
So if you guys want free internet
or help me pay for the $150, whatever, you could do that too.
But anyway, it's a nice option.
And then they have a third package, which is mobility.
So you literally can be moving on a boat, moving in an RV,
and it will work.
I don't know how it works.
But in my situation, it has to be stable, like not moving.
But you can still pause it.
Anyway, so I have three different packages.
Very impressive.
Well, I told you earlier that I was
hesitant to go up there and work just because he's
that was so sketchy.
And I wouldn't want to be up there 12 hours away and go,
fuck, now what?
Well, and that happened.
So my brother and his wife were up there,
and they were like, oh, this isn't working.
And they had to drive down to someplace,
like where the community center was, and they parked
and kind of tied into their internet.
But still sketchy.
I mean, if you're going to work up there,
you can't have a conference call and suddenly, eww.
So anyway, it's a very nice, it's a very nice option.
Anyway, why are we talking about the Starlink?
Oh, because I was telling you, I was bored as hell, man.
I'm sitting on the deck getting all these pictures
and going, I'm going to have some fun with this.
Texting, texting, texting, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom.
Yeah, and he's had a picture which
was actually had a nice backdrop.
And Jeff called a total of the week.
I didn't share that.
Oh yeah, I was having Modelo on the deck.
Yeah, I didn't share that.
But do you have any bourbon out there?
I brought some Henry McKenna with me.
I don't have any now, but I'll take some.
Was it a tenure or the regular?
No, it was a regular.
Well, you saw that Bud Light is lost again.
What it lose. Two months in a row.
In terms of the number one selling during the night case.
Yeah, it lost by a lot, actually.
By two Modelo.
Oh yeah.
Yeah, I heard the numbers are creeping up
into the 30s now of year over year.
Yeah, they're not going to get those folks back.
No, it's done.
I mean, now they're laying off people at the contractor.
Did you see the CEO?
It's the factories, the bottle manufacturing plants
are kind of like laying off those people.
Awful, right?
You know, it's one thing to boycott a beer
because they've made a mistake and stuff,
but now it's impacting people's jobs.
And because they have not come out
and fucking done the right thing, which is apologize.
I think that CEO, I think the CEO,
the executive folks need to leave.
Yep, they need to cut them.
And the CEO here in the last couple of days
has said, he goes, you're impacting 60,000 people
or whatever it is.
Fuck you, you're the one that impacted 60,000 people.
And he says, don't take it out on them, take it out on me.
Okay, then fucking resign.
It's my fault.
And I'm just thinking, well, how can the average consumer
take it out on you?
Okay, nothing's going to happen to you.
If he was a courageous guy, he'd go,
the buck stops with me, I screwed up, I'm alive.
I may not have been a Whitman, don't even say that.
Take accountability, right?
Whatever happened was on my watch.
And he has said that.
And he needs to say, don't take it out
on the hardworking Bud Light people
who care about America and they are,
they bleed red, white, and blue.
I'm gonna step down and I want you
to please come back to Bud Light.
That would make a difference.
Well, he said that, except he's not stepping down.
Yeah, well, step down.
He's not taking accountability.
No, he's not, and people know it.
And then they keep doing these bullshit patriotic,
over the top things and people are like.
It's not gonna work.
That's not gonna work.
They need to just, first of all, cut his hair off,
take all his clothes off, and let him walk
through the street with the big person behind him.
You want him to go game.
Shame, shame, shame, shame.
He can throw some poop at him.
Kaleidoscope.
Kaleema.
Rip his heart out.
I wasn't sure where you were going with that last one.
I thought we switched to Indiana Jones.
We did, we did.
So, you know what, fuck him.
I don't really, I mean, I feel bad
with people who lost their jobs, but you know what?
It's just like anything else, man.
You work for a company, there are repercussions for.
If the leadership makes a bad decision, people suffer.
I know my company does.
If they make a bad decision, we lose money,
I have to do layoffs.
I could be impacted by layoffs.
Biden's making tons of mistakes right now,
and we're paying the toll.
And so think about this.
All right, so they don't wanna say anything right now
because they don't wanna alienate the trans community,
blah, blah, blah, and I'm thinking, okay,
at this point, the numbers are real.
Right.
The losses are real, your market share is real,
the loss in the stock price is real.
You need to.
You need to. Take a side at this point.
Make a decision.
You want this small.
The 3%, yeah, the 3%.
Point three.
Point three, yeah, whatever it is, not even.
They need to say, yeah, we should not have partnered
with that person, and yes, you're gonna be upset with us,
but we weren't being true to our real customers,
and this is the decision we're gonna cut all ties
with that bullshit.
Yeah.
That's what they have to do.
They have to do that.
And then they will, the trans community will go
fucking ballistic.
Oh, it'll sound like. They already have.
They sound like they'll be the vast majority
because they're gonna be so loud.
Oh, they're gonna be super loud.
That's why people.
It's gonna be all over the social media,
and Dylan Mulvaney was already like,
I can't believe they didn't stick with me.
Me, me, me.
Yes.
Me.
I mean, really?
Really?
That's what it is.
They're so loud.
Get back in your tub and go drink a Miller Lider.
That group is so loud.
What's that, Dylan Mulvaney?
Dylan. Dylan Mulvaney.
They're so loud that they seem like they're a big group.
But they're not.
They're not.
You know, but I'm disturbed by the campaign
that Dylan Mulvaney was pushing, and I'm disturbed.
What, life as a girl?
Well, like the little 60-year-old girl,
the 60-year-old girl dancing around in the hotel room,
thinking life is grand.
I know.
I'm gonna make it.
Come on, I mean, it's over the top.
You sounded just like him.
I did, and there was also the-
Did you practice that?
The Gay Pride parades that they were doing.
We're gay, we're here to stay,
we're gonna, we're coming after your children.
You know, did you hear that?
Yes.
We're coming after your children.
But they're just doing it to make the news,
and to aggravate.
But it's consistent, so.
I think aggravate is a big part of it.
Oh, they're just trying to-
They're pushing the buttons.
Absolutely.
They want people to freak out about them.
Right.
They're taking it to them.
That's what the trend is.
Well, they're gonna lose.
Systematically.
I mean, because look, eventually,
I mean, and here's where you've got that little bar graph
that shows up.
You've got the left that wants to control things,
to make it so that you don't have a leg to stand on
to fight them, and then you have the option
to make your own decisions in life.
Right.
You know, and the left wants to slowly but surely
defeat your decisions to do shit in life.
And I think that's kinda hand in hand with what's going on.
You know what's sad, though?
There are gay, and lesbian, and trans,
you know, all those letters,
of people that are going, why are we doing this?
Like, why are you guys acting like that in that parade?
Why is that appropriate in front of kids?
I mean, they're a rational thinker.
Look, there are.
And guess what?
We don't care.
Like, we've talked about this. We don't.
We don't care.
However you wanna live your life,
whatever kinda partner you wanna have, that's great.
I mean, and I find it so refreshing
when I see somebody on Fox News who's a gay man
or whatever, and they're like going,
yeah, I'm part of this,
and I'm not on board with what they're doing.
Right.
And we're like, well, thank you,
because it isn't your sexual presentation
or orientation or whatever, preference.
We don't care.
But we don't want that happening,
and we like that you agree with that.
Because we're not crazy.
We're not hateful.
The word is, we're not hateful.
But we have friends that are gay.
Yeah, I do.
I got plenty.
First of all, we have a lot of friends that are gay.
There are gay people that,
I'm gonna call them cool,
and it's not because they think like me
or anything like that.
It's just because they're tame.
Yeah.
They live within the system.
Yep.
And then you have these other type
that like to push their,
I don't even wanna say it's an agenda,
because it's not.
It's just like, they're gay,
and so they want to be more flamboyant.
Yeah, it's an overtness.
They have a tendency to take sexuality,
and just because they're gay,
they feel that they have the authority
to make it uncomfortable.
To do things that straight guys can't do.
I don't have the authority to go over to your wife
and grope her,
but gay guys do.
I mean, some gay guys do.
And I'm just like,
why do you get to do that?
Yeah, why is that okay?
I disagree with that a thousand percent.
And I've told that with some of the gay guys
that I've hung out with the past.
And look, I've had roommates that were gay
and with their boyfriends
and one of their gay sisters
that didn't turn out to be gay.
She was gay, but she wasn't gay,
but then she went gay,
but it doesn't matter.
They were.
My point is,
he and I used to go round and round.
I was just like, dude, there's no,
just be gay.
I mean, who gives a fuck?
You don't have to go around and sexualize things.
Just be gay, have a relationship,
but be normal.
I mean, you're normal.
But you know what's interesting?
You'll meet gay couples
where one is flamboyant, like two guys,
one is totally flamboyant, in your face, obnoxious,
and the other one's like, you would never know.
He was just like us.
There's a difference between being flamboyant
and just outright obnoxious.
I totally agree.
And that is my point.
And there's boundaries for everyone.
Well, that's just it.
Boundaries for everyone.
I don't understand.
Doesn't matter what your sexual orientation is.
I don't understand why certain folks
can't figure out what those boundaries are.
If I have boundaries, Jeff has boundaries,
we all have boundaries,
and we're learning them all the time.
And when I say boundaries, I'm saying, like you just said,
the example of interacting with other people, right?
There's no reason why they-
Well, your actions-
But also parades.
There are boundaries in parades.
Well, I think a good example is that-
That your ding-dong hit little girls in parades.
I think that's wrong.
I think it is wrong.
It hit someone?
Well, I mean, they were like, four feet.
The guy's helicoptering?
Oh, well, I think a perfect example
is this guy, Tranny, who was at the White House.
Right.
And he said, we need to take his shirt off.
Go topless.
Yeah.
Boundaries.
I mean, there are just social norm boundaries.
Especially at the White House.
You know where you're at.
Oh, my God.
Why would I go?
I'm at the White House.
I'm gonna treat that with utmost respect.
Yes.
Totally not.
And they missed the mark on it.
Missed it.
Totally.
I think all of it's missing the mark.
And this Dudes Like Us show isn't supposed to
project that we are disagreeing with gay people.
Because we don't.
We don't give a shit.
We love gay people.
No, no, we can disagree.
Lots of gay people love us.
What I don't want to project is that we're hateful.
Oh, no, not at all.
We do not hate gay people.
We don't hate anybody.
Right?
I mean, I know we're cutting up
and we make cliche jokes and shit like that.
But at the end of the day, we do not hate anybody,
but we don't agree with behavior.
Yeah, and it's the behavior.
It's behavior that's appropriate, it's inappropriate.
And I think that that's really what.
For anybody.
Well, there's not a set of rules.
Just because I'm gay doesn't mean I get my own rules.
Right.
Like, you know what, oh, I'm gay,
I get to go into the women's bathroom.
I'm gay, I get to take my pants off
and show my dick to little kids.
I'm gay, I get to do this and that.
When did that become good?
Like a positive thing.
We would not allow that for any heterosexual man.
I think that's a small, we talk about it,
that's a small subset of the gay community.
That's a small subset.
I would agree with that.
Well, I'm not disagreeing with it,
but I will tell you that.
But the most vocal.
And the most visible.
Which makes them.
They're loud and vocal, but again,
the gay community is small,
then you have this even smaller subset
who is into this shit.
They fuck it up for everybody.
They do.
It's no different than the woke mob.
And they're starting to get pushback,
the gay community is starting to push back,
going, wait a minute.
We've spent all of these years to build acceptance
for the lesbians, gays, the bi's.
Credibility, respectability.
And this tea over here is ruining things.
Yeah, they're making people go,
yeah, we're not for that.
Correct.
And it's when they pull in the kids
is where they cross the lines.
I agree.
I know.
And that's a relatively new thing over the last few years.
And I don't get it.
And I don't know why they went that way.
And it kind of goes into the discussion we had earlier
about the, what the hell movie that we just talked about,
Sound of Freedom, the whole sex trafficking of kids.
There's a lot of people out there who are into that shit.
That is just, I find that unfathomable.
And I don't care who you are, you should be against it.
Yes.
It doesn't matter.
There, it shouldn't be a person on the planet
who isn't against that.
I think they're good.
I think that's the next step to try to normalize.
Yeah, minor attracted.
Correct.
Yeah, that minor attracted thing was kind of crazy.
I mean, in the early 70s, late 70s,
minor attraction was, back then it was gay people.
Just the fact that they were gay,
that was the tone back then.
Or that was the diagnostic statistics personality disorder.
Now it's the minor attractive is a disorder.
They're just trying to normalize it.
Just like you said, it's just a statement.
So we talked about smokewagon.
We did not talk about,
and I know we don't have time now, but.
Sonos.
No, trail.
Oh, the Texas Trail.
Five Trail.
Five Trail, yeah, the Coors Light.
The Coors Light one.
So that was, well, Coors, that was the bourbon we had
in the previous podcast that we forgot to get to.
Anyway, so we'll have to touch on that in a future time.
We'll have it again.
Well, dudes, I guess it's 7-Eleven.
Enjoy those slurpees while you can.
You got another hour.
Slobbing up.
Dudes, I guess.
Thank you for the producer, Mr. Austin.
Dudes, I guess I'm Sean.
I'm Paul.
And I'm Jeff.
Good night everybody.