April 2023.
It's flying by.
Flying by.
We're already flying by.
We're already four knuckles deep into this year.
Oh shit.
I only have three knuckles on.
I mean if we did have another knuckle, there would be four into it.
And you know it stirs up all types of, you know, the seasons are changing.
Oh for sure.
Wants us to, you know, there's household chores that need to be addressed.
There's vacations that need to be procured.
There's allergies that you're having to start to endure.
I woke up last night, about 11.30, just choking on snot.
Nice.
It's the drainage.
Your wife must love that.
She does.
I started coughing.
So I got up and went to the restroom and I was looking for cough drops or whatever.
Anything I could do to help calm it down so I could get back to bed and have shit.
Change of clothes for the year?
Change clothes.
No, no.
I mean just like the year and the transition times.
People like to, allergies are tough man.
People get hit hard.
There was a period of time where I got hit really hard with allergies.
Not so much anymore.
I mean so bad I wanted to like just fucking take my eyeballs and pull them out of my head
man.
But that's gone now.
So I don't have to, I should say it's gone.
Every now and then I know how to handle it, manage it a little bit better.
But first of all, it's not as bad.
It's climate change.
It is, or definitely climate change.
But I do a regular routine where I pop that, you know, that 24 hour pill and the little
snort up the nose, you know.
I do it every morning.
Yeah, it works.
It's religious and it works.
Oh, it's religious.
Have you ever done the neti pop?
Yeah, I've done the neti pop.
Yeah, I did that, but it didn't really work for me.
It works.
What are you talking about?
It works, but you have to be careful.
There's a guy who just, this happened to.
You have to use like distilled water like you buy at the store.
Oh yeah, it's got to be cleaned.
Lake water or something?
Oh no, well the guy took it out of his tap in like Mississippi somewhere.
Oh shit.
He dipped it into the non-potable water reserve.
No, it came out of his kitchen sink or his bathroom sink and he did it and he got the
brain amoeba.
Well, we've talked about this before.
Do you drink tap water?
I think you do, don't you?
I do, although it's really nasty right now.
It's crazy that you drink tap water to me.
I don't know why.
Well, I just recently started running my tap water through filtration, a little pitcher,
you know, a little filter thing.
I typically drink it out of the fridge, which has a filter on it.
Okay, that's better than nothing too.
At night when I take my vitamins and stuff, I'll just hold it under the sink and drink
it.
I don't have a problem doing that.
I have an osmosis system, right?
So I have the deal under this.
Look at me.
You know, I can spare no expense.
Is this the one that you said just waste gallons of water?
It does, it was a lot of water, but I just dump it into my pool so I recycle it.
So dudes like us podcast, it's April 4th, like I was mentioning earlier, changing of
seasons and lots of stuff to talk about this podcast.
Dude, I got some Sean.
I'm Paul.
And I'm Jeff.
And our Mr. Host over there, Mr. Producer, Mr. Austin, who's insanely quiet for most
these podcasts.
He's worked today.
He was on his, yeah, his rollerblades all day long.
He had a nine to fiver today.
Yeah, that's pretty tough, man.
Nine to fiver.
I was like, welcome, do you do it for the next 40 years?
Welcome to the work, the workforce.
And someone came over to the house today and I was just like, had this look on my face
and I was like, oh, you look like you're stressed out.
I was like, yeah.
You know, I was just like, get used to it.
You know, it only gets worse.
It's funny when it's like this is what I got to look forward to.
I was like, yes.
It's funny when parents have the conversation.
It's like, he needs to get a job.
He goes, he's going to have a job.
You know, he's going to have to work for 40 years of his life.
Why don't you just let him have the summer off?
I mean, you know what I mean?
That kind of, that kind of, uh, enjoy your youth before you have to like, you know, make
a coin.
No, no, I didn't either, man.
I worked a fuck him.
I worked every, I worked every damn summer, every damn Christmas, every, every holiday.
I worked at a movie theater.
We were open.
That was like the busiest days was Thanksgiving day and Christmas day.
Right.
Yeah.
Every year.
It's a joke though.
Working at a movie theater.
Well, actually most jobs where you're making minimum wage is a joke.
Well, I mean, when you're working 11 to one every single day, I was like, shit, that's
like two hours.
You know, 11 AM to one AM.
Well, that's your fault.
Yeah.
That's a long ass shift every single day.
It's good.
I'm only going to love this long day.
Yeah, it is.
But yeah, that's a lot of money.
That's how you make a lot of money.
There you go.
I came back in college and I was like, I want the long ships, man.
Give me a long ones.
Yeah.
I was the same way.
I wanted to work as much as possible because I had, uh, went to school.
I had six weeks off for Christmas.
So Thanksgiving week and we didn't go back until January sometime.
And every year I go back to the same place and work.
KB toy store.
There you go every year.
And I'd work, you know, I'd work multiple shifts, but I was typically in the morning
because the high school was good work mornings.
Right.
Exactly.
So it'd be me and the store manager down there unloading trucks and shit like that.
And then, uh, uh, every now and then I'd work the evening shift, but I was usually done.
I'd be there at seven and be done by like two or three.
Right.
That's not bad.
So, and you got some sort of life after that.
Correct.
I mean, I got off at one in the morning, so my life was going to Denny's with the rest
of the gang.
I'd be out to like four or five in the morning and then I would crash and then get back to
11 o'clock again.
When I was at McDonald's, I worked only weekends and I did the Fridays and Saturdays and I
worked Sundays days.
I usually did 11 to seven on Sunday and I'd work.
What was this like, like your senior year, junior, junior, senior year in high school.
So I want to turn 16 essential.
There you go.
And, uh, I, uh, I worked five to close and the McDonald's will close at midnight, I believe.
And we, but we'd have to clean the whole fucking store.
Oh yeah.
And I was a cook.
So it all over again.
Yeah.
So I was a cook.
So I'd have to clean the kitchen and the couple of us were back there.
There someone would do the dishes and you're scrubbing the grill, spraying shit on it and
all that kind of stuff.
Empty in the grease traps.
Oh yeah.
The big old fucking things on the side.
There's just gallons of grease in there throughout the day.
And then about two again, there was never no hard stop, right?
It was you went until you were done.
How about, how about like what a burger?
It's like 24 hours.
Yeah.
How does that work?
When do they ever clean?
It's like one and three in the morning or sure.
They have set things.
All right.
You're cleaning this girl or maybe they rotate.
I have no idea.
I don't even know how they make these burgers anymore.
I know.
Do they cause I'm not even sure if there's burgers.
It's not even real meat.
Well, when I did it, I had like an actual grill griddle, right?
I actually made the burgers.
I don't see that back there in McDonald's anymore.
I've been told from drawers.
I've been told that McDonald's has an impeccable process for like real food, real everything.
I don't believe that.
I was skeptical too, but this person that I was talking to.
There's this lady that pulls out a happy meal from 40 meals three years ago or 20 years.
It didn't matter.
And it was a really long time ago.
A happy meal.
She pulls it out and it's got the fries.
It's got the hamburger and the toy.
Maybe I don't know, but I, but the bread, you have like the bread.
Normally deteriorates and molds over and is nothing.
The bread looked pristine.
It looked like the day it came out of the oven.
Oh, it could look that way for months.
I don't know.
When I did this is two decades old.
What are you talking about?
Hold on.
Maybe I missed the beginning.
Mr. Producer, look up a hamburger happy meal, a 20 years old.
So this lady held onto this happy meal.
Evidently got shoved in a closet by accident somehow.
And it came out like two decades later and it was in perfect condition.
That can't be.
I mean, it was hard as a rock, but it looked the same.
But did not hold.
Nothing grew on it.
No.
Wow.
The hamburger.
That's a little concerning.
Yeah.
There's a really considering find a little video of it.
Oh God.
Well, I know when I was, I worked there, I mean, the buns were fresh.
It was like, you know, these big racks of burger buns, you know, like, yeah, I mean,
now they're made.
I don't know.
They came to me all wrapped in the plastic and everything.
I mean, they run through this shit so fast.
I can't imagine that that they have to do much to it to keep a shelf life.
You know what I mean?
There you go.
Hamburger left in a closet for 24 years.
Oh, I'm skeptical already.
Everyone, this is your daily dose of internet.
This person bought a meal from McDonald's and then left it in her closet for 24 years.
After 24 years, the food never broke down or decomposed.
French fries pretty much look like fries.
No, those are extremely dry.
They're desiccated from hell.
Oh, come on, though.
Look at that.
The bread has never molded.
Well, it has molded.
It's the same color as the bread, the bun.
Are you trying to rationalize that?
That doesn't look as fresh and as new as anything.
It's 24 years old.
I want to see this carbon dated.
Carbon dated.
There you go.
What the hell is that?
You turned that off.
What the hell was that?
Now we're going to get sucked into TikTok here.
Rat with a knife.
All right.
Well, all right.
Sorry, I didn't mean to distract you on that.
Well, the only weird thing that I had, well, there's a couple of weird things at McDonald's,
but the American cheese slices, they came in like these huge bricks.
They're like 18 inches and they're just slices.
Right?
Yeah, they're all pre-cut.
Did you ever take a bite out of a brick?
No.
No, I don't like American cheese.
I don't either.
Are you serious?
I don't know.
It's like I never ever do American cheese.
Cheddar, I'll do it.
Pepper Jack.
So anyway, it was cold.
It's wrapped in sharp cheddar.
Yeah.
Whatever it is, a plastic, right?
So you open it up and you start peeling them, right?
So they're overhanging so you can easily flip flop and peel the thing off.
It's all about speed, man.
Yeah.
So about six or seven slices in, I pull one up and there's a fly right in the middle of
it that was packaged like that.
But that's not uncommon either, right?
I mean, these are massive facilities where they're processing food and shit.
And it was probably like building this thing and the fly just went right in there.
One really unlucky fly.
Right.
Really?
But people would see that and they would go McDonald's.
I mean, they would go ape shit, right?
That's where that 1% of what's in your food, a fly.
Right.
I mean, shit, I mean, there's mice that fall into the grinders and I mean, whatever, man.
Yeah.
It happens.
You want to see how the sausage is made.
Yeah, they use cow vaginas.
Apparently.
Yeah.
Sean's sausage.
Yeah.
We have confirmed that.
Yeah.
I'm staying away from that.
Sean comes in, hey, I made some brats.
So you know, part of this time of the season, you know, is trying to plan like the summer
events.
You know, we were trying to do like the trying to get this excursion set up with going to
camp before it gets too fucking hot.
Evidently, we're not going to be able to go to Palo Duro Canyon.
I think we're about eight months late to book those, it sounds like.
Man, it's not just that.
I mean, when you're trying to rent a beach house for twenty twenty four, you get to be
way out.
It's too late.
Yeah.
I mean, like I mean, all that kind of stuff.
People are on top of that shit, man.
You got to you got a plan.
Yeah.
Well, I didn't I didn't realize that you had a plan that far ahead, especially with campsites
and stuff.
But whatever, man, live and learn.
So, you know, I feel bad because I promised Austin, you know, we're going to be going
to Palo Duro and he's actually looking forward to it.
So Austin, you're just going to have to pump the brakes next year and I'm going to put
in that fucking request like six months, eight months in advance period.
Yeah.
Schedule it now.
But I mean, there's plenty of places you can go that are awesome, man.
Yeah.
We're still going to go somewhere.
We're going to take that up.
Try to go to Turner Falls in Oklahoma.
That's a beautiful place to go.
I've been up there.
We'll figure it out.
You know, the idea is to to get away and disconnect and do some fishing.
Lake LaVon.
We'll figure it out.
I don't know if it's Lake LaVon.
I mean, we may go to Ray Roberts.
I may go to Mississippi.
I don't know.
There's there's options.
Colorado.
Well, you know, there's a lot of drama affiliated with going Colorado.
No, there isn't.
We're going to be up there.
I think we're going to be up there for three weeks.
We'll see.
I got to get the dates down.
I'm going to work from there.
But my wife's going to stay up there and we're just going to chill.
And whoever wants to come up, we just need to coordinate it.
Make sure that we have enough beds for everybody and bam, come up and work, come up and hang
out.
What do you want to do?
If I went up there, I would have to work.
That's fine.
Yeah.
I mean, we do need to figure out that, you know, I mean, I'll just charge you like, you
know, five hundred bucks a day in Internet charges.
But no big deal.
I do video calls.
I'm on.
I'm on a video going all times.
Yeah.
Twenty four and then I stream YouTube on the other screen.
Yeah.
While you're watching a movie.
Yeah.
While watching a movie.
Yeah.
That's what killed us.
The kids were watching movies at night on their phones and we'd wake up and all the
Internet be gone and it'd be super slow because we used up all the you know, you have certain
to buy within 24 hours.
Yeah.
I was like, What the hell just happened?
And then they get on me because I was streaming Amazon, streaming music for my mother.
Right, she would be out on the patio,
but I would be playing classical music
because she loves classical music, right?
And they were like, you were streaming Amazon?
I was like, dude, it uses hardly any bandwidth at all
compared to like video and TV and whatever.
No, all those games and videos you just watched.
Oh my God, that just sucks up internet.
Well, that's what I tried to explain.
Songs are hardly anything.
So you have like the Tesla one though?
Starlink, yeah, I do not.
That's a planning thing, man.
I haven't done a good job planning.
Well, you're gonna be up there for three weeks.
Yikes.
I know, wow, it's too late.
Is it too late?
Why is it too late?
You're a month out.
Oh, it's getting me more than that.
I tell you what, I'll do that tomorrow.
I'll see if I can order it tomorrow.
But I think it's like a big, long waiting list.
Well, if you're in Ukraine.
I don't know.
I don't know, I'll check it out.
I have no idea what I'm looking to.
But that is definitely the long-term vision
because it's super high speed, because it's low orbit.
Well, you remember when Starlink was released,
they released like a thousand satellites at once.
And then all the stargazers and the astronomers
and the planet, not planetariums, but the observatories,
they were all voicing major concern
because it was fucking up their view.
Right?
I mean, because they do time-lapse stuff
and all these satellites are blasting off
all over the place.
I mean, leaving the blurry lines.
I don't know.
I haven't heard anything about it in a while,
but they really were upset with Elon Musk.
The astronomers.
Yeah, the astronomers of the world.
Yes.
There's so many of them.
They protested.
What are they gonna do?
There were three of them, and Greta was with them.
You need to take all those down.
It'll cost you eight billion dollars,
but you take them down.
Greta.
She's like a preacher now, right?
Oh my God, I don't know what she is.
She got a doctorate of theology.
Are you kidding?
Did they give her an honorary?
They gave her an honorary doctorate of theology.
Like the College of Finland or something.
Yeah, no, it was the religion of climate change.
Damn, no shit.
Do we wanna talk about the bourbon
before we go much further?
Yeah, we always wait to the very end on this one.
This is one of my favorites.
Yeah, he had super boner over this.
So, huge boner.
Oh.
This might, actually, I'm gonna declare it right now.
This is my favorite family of bourbons.
Of bourbon and whiskeys.
It is Rebecca Creek.
Rebecca's Creek.
Oh.
Yeah, that's good stuff.
Every one we've had has been very, very good.
Brilliant.
Yeah, and extremely reasonably priced.
Yeah, very reasonably priced.
Even that double, I mean, when we got the 12 year,
we were kinda like, really?
That's 50, 60 bucks for a 12 year.
It's like, all right, let's get it.
It is fantastic.
It's unheard of.
Who's gonna charge that little for a bourbon?
So, Rebecca's Creek.
So, you said it's based in San Antonio.
Are you 100% certain on that?
Down there somewhere, South Texas-y,
down that San Antonio.
So, it's a Texas bourbon.
How cool is that?
Correct, yeah.
I mean, I love it all the more, right?
We could drive to it.
That's what I said.
I wanna do it.
We could do a drive down there.
We could hit Rebecca's Creek.
We could hit Nine Banded.
We could hit Still Austin.
We could hit Milam and Green.
Yeah, I mean, we leave.
It's all down there.
So, yeah, so, how does that work?
Garrison Bros.
I mean, so, yeah, so I've been there, right?
That's Fredericksburg.
Right.
So, what do we do?
We leave early on a Saturday,
and we hit a couple of them,
and then we skate the night somewhere.
We come back Sunday, or is this a two-nighter?
What do you want to do, right?
Because they're not right next to each other.
No, I was gonna say, Texas is a big state, right?
So, you're gonna have to probably,
you could probably get two of them in, right?
Because getting down there is about four hours, right?
So, you-
It's just San Antonio, you mean?
Yeah, three, four hours, or wherever it is.
Because we could hit-
I think it's five hours.
We could hit Balcones on the way down there.
The problem is, if we hit Balcones,
then we're sampled and driving through the hill country,
well-
Boosed up.
So, Sean will be the designated driver.
Right deal.
Yeah, that's easy.
That's an easy one.
And he'll be like, you guys suck.
I hate you guys, fuckers.
The whole, all four hours,
he'll be just bitching up a storm.
And we'll be like, oh my God, this is so fun.
He'll just be like, fuck it,
I'm getting an Uber the rest of the way.
You know one thing I am gonna say here,
I'm actually disappointed I put a cube on this.
It's watering down the super crazy rich flavor it had.
We could always add more.
Well, I know, I'm planning on doing that.
What's the proof on this thing?
Oh, it's-
I even checked.
What is the proof, Mr. Producer?
Chime in on your microphone if you don't mind.
Yeah, he's got a microphone.
Goddamn, use it, you son of a bitch.
Oh, that's why I can-
I went out and spent tons of money.
Is he there? 111.9.
Why are you a Cylon from Bible Star Galactica?
No shit.
Are you trying to be sexy or something?
So, 111.9?
Yeah, that's right in our wheelhouse.
Totally in our wheelhouse.
I'm sorry, I was daydreaming.
What'd you say, 109?
111.9, so 112 essentially.
Yeah, 112.
Man, no slouch, man.
For my birthday this past week,
we had a, was it Seagate?
What was it, that?
It was Barrel.
Barrel Vanguard.
Very good. Vantage.
Vantage, that's what it was.
Yeah, Barrel Vantage, 114.6.
That was tasty too.
We had to pay for those. Yeah, that was a good one.
Now that one is part of your monthly club.
Yep, the Mash and Grape Monthly Club.
We may have touched on it here.
My wife got me a Mash and Grape
Bourbon of the Month for six months,
and we were down three.
We had Union Trail as the first one, which was eh.
And then we had a
Stellum. Stellum.
Which is good. Which is perfect.
I remember that being good.
Yeah, but not bad at all.
And then the Vantage Barrel was fantastic.
I think that's the best one so far.
So what I'm amazed about is,
I mean, we've had 200 plus Bourbons,
and I was really worried that when she bought that for you,
because it was not cheap, right?
I mean, it was a really great gift.
Yeah, it was a good gift. A great gift.
And I was worried that it was going to be like,
oh shit, man, we've already tried that.
Oh shit, we've already tried that.
There's a lot of Bourbons out there.
We, three in a row, we have not.
I know. And I love that.
I love that, that it's become,
it's even more of a special gift
when it turned out like that for her.
Like, Bourbons we've never tried.
Right.
It's super cool.
So anyway, okay.
So we were talking about summer stuff,
or plans that we, actually before summer, right?
We're trying to do stuff
before it gets crazy fucking hot, right?
What's wrong?
What, yeah, your keyboard stuff.
I'm sorry.
I've showed everything, didn't I?
Just like disappointment.
Yeah.
I'm a person that likes, I'm a creature of habit.
And my keyboard, I'm missing,
I just realized I'm missing my USB thing.
And I'm like, where the hell could the USB thing have gone?
It's probably in your bag.
Yeah, but.
Well, this is actually silver lining,
because that way you're not on your computer
being distracted.
Sometimes I need to be on the computer.
I know, I hear you, but I prefer that you're not.
So the part of the thing we were talking about
was the vacation thing.
So the summertime, and it just brings up,
look, I grew up in, I grew up going on vacation a lot.
And now that I'm married with kids
and my wife's condition,
I'm unable to go on these vacations.
Yeah, to do much.
And you know.
Unless you're gonna split up the clan, right?
Well, we gotta split up the clan,
and then I gotta basically sit bitch
with somebody else's family, like Jeff.
Jeff cordially and gracefully invited me
to go out to do things.
Yeah, well, your Utah trip was great.
You guys had a great time.
Yeah, where'd you go?
Utah.
Yeah, we went to.
Tahoe.
Lake Tahoe, yeah.
That's what I meant, damn it.
You know, it was a blast.
It was a blast, and it is fantastic.
And you have a guide on that mountain.
It's just, I was looking forward
to going to this Palo Duro thing,
and I'm kind of disappointed now.
I was like, fuck, I didn't realize that,
they're that far, far booked out.
But nonetheless, I need a break.
Yeah.
I'm going loopy right now.
And frankly, I shouldn't say it irritates me.
I think a better word is I get so envious
of like you guys when you guys leave,
and you're like, oh, I'm going to Colorado
for three weeks.
I'm just like, fuck you.
I'm going to Greece again.
Yeah, and it's great.
I'm happy for you guys.
But at the same time, I'm just like, I hate my life.
You're resentful.
I don't think I'm resentful.
I don't know if that, I am resentful,
but not towards you.
I'm resentful towards myself,
because there are certain dudes like us out there
that probably are challenged going on vacation.
There are people that just don't make enough money
to take off the time to go on vacation.
It's stuck in the red line.
More than you know.
Vacations are extremely expensive.
They are, man.
Even if you're going to drive across the country
to go to Grand Canyon, boom.
I mean, that's a $4,000 trip.
It is, it's stupid, fucking ridiculous.
You can drive your car to the gas,
which is one thing, you account for that.
But then hotels, you're like,
do I want to stay in the Bates Hotel?
Right, and you got to do the elite helicopter tour.
Hold on, the Bates Hotel?
Is that like a creepy place?
Yeah, I mean, do you want to stay in a shithole
in the south of what you can?
That's where our fantasy football league
usually goes on these excursions
when watching the grass.
Only if I plan it.
Strong point.
Only if I plan it.
But those are the kind of hotels that my family stayed at,
because they didn't have the big chains.
They had Holiday Inn and Ramada and Red Roots.
Yeah, but you're talking about the Motel 6,
Motel 8 type of shit.
Well, I mean, the side of the road, no name hotel.
Little bus western.
Little motel, right?
I mean, they're shitholes.
Where the kids wake up with a rash.
Yes, I mean, that's what I grew up going to.
Bed bugs.
We didn't have the money to stay in the Hiltons
or the Red Light District.
Marriott's or stuff like that.
Yes, we'd stay at the Hookers.
Yeah, it was the hourly rate stuff.
Yes.
And so you'd be trying to sleep on the headboard next door.
Boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom.
Yes, well, these are the ones where you go in.
Massage, you put a quarter on the side.
Yes.
I stayed in those.
Boom, boom, boom, boom, boom.
I stayed in those.
You know what's funny?
That's so gross.
I got a quick story.
It is.
I graduated from high school.
I met this friend, and his mom was a salesperson
for a Meridian publishing company.
And the job basically was to sell magazines to hotels.
And basically, you give the magazines away.
They're free.
Sure.
Because what it does is you have local coupon.
Advertising.
Well, so let's just say Dallas, Texas.
You have all the areas around here,
all the sightseeing places, the Dallas Aquarium, blah, blah,
blah.
You put everything.
You get all the vendors to pitch in for the advertising,
of course.
And you sell that.
And so we did that.
And it was just me and my friend.
And she had set up and coordinated
all the travel times to get from point A to point B.
Back then, you'd have cell phones.
So you were delivering the magazines to the hotels?
No, we were going to the hotel.
And she had made an arrangement where she would do bartering.
She was like, hey, look, we're going
to be there for three days.
We need for you guys to pay for our room.
And we're going to go around.
And we're going to sell.
We're going to provide you all these free magazines.
You could put each room.
And we're going to take care of the rest.
But we've got to go around and do our thing and sell the.
Evidently, this was the thing.
So I remember we went to this one hotel.
And we're sleeping in the same bed.
Because they were just like, well, it's free.
Bitch, just shut the fuck up.
So it's just he and I. It's just like you and I.
Well, we go somewhere.
No, I've never been in a bed with you.
Oh, shut the fuck up.
Did you spoon?
No, we did not spoon.
You're like a gross story here.
But the thing is, did you snore back then?
I don't think so.
Really?
You're going to ask that?
That's why the dude quit.
I was like 100 pounds lighter.
But I just remember we were at this room.
And it had the little thing on the side of the bed,
little coin box.
And I was like, what the fuck is that?
I pop in 50 cents and turn thing.
And it's like, arrr.
I'm just like, oh, that feels good.
And my friend, Steven, he looks at me.
And he's just like, Sean.
And I was like, not a word.
Not a word.
And you both just laid there while you getting vibrated?
Yeah, we just both laid there and went to sleep.
But I just remember there.
And you're like, how long does this last?
I don't know, man.
Just 50 cents, probably like half an hour.
What he was going to say was like, this goes nowhere.
We tell no one about this.
And he didn't even get to finish what he was saying.
He was like, Sean, I was like, not a word.
It's not an aphrodisiac.
I mean, it's not like it's going to make things happen for you.
Whatever.
Actually, it was kind of soon thing.
It's a massage bed.
Well, I haven't seen those recently.
So that's what I mean when I say the side of the road hotels
that still have those massage beds.
The reason why you haven't seen those recently
is because there was no way in hell
you would ever stop at a nasty place like that anymore,
because your wife would kill you.
As we were talking about the vacations,
you don't want to stay in those.
So you're paying more for either renting the house
or a hotel that's $200 a night or whatever, $300 a night,
instead of $49.99.
So I will tell you, we went to Fayetteville almost back
to back within, I think, a five or six week period.
The first time, it was supposed to be a number of us.
It was for Dawson's 21st birthday.
And so we rented a house with two bedrooms
because we thought other people were bailed left and right.
And so it was really just Shelly and I,
and no one else stayed in the house.
Oh, and I shelled out like $340 a night for two nights.
And so then we back to back go up there.
And we always stay at this little tiny, it's not a shithole.
It doesn't have coin operated bed jiggling or anything going
on.
Well, it doesn't need to be a shithole to have
a coin operated bed.
Well, but here.
Does it have a chalk mark on the floor?
No.
Does it have a fan to dry the carpet?
This is like, quite honestly, probably the fourth time
we've stayed there.
Was there spatter on the walls we
could see with the blue light?
We'll never turn on a blue light in these places.
No way.
And print on the mirror?
Oh, my.
Look at the bed sheet.
The one they don't clean, the one they put on top.
Oh, god.
I can't imagine what that looks like.
A Petri dish.
That's for sure.
Anyway.
Anyway, so but it was $65 a night.
And I'm like, dude, $150 for the weekend score.
And Shelly's like, I don't want to stay there.
We can't stay there.
Well, and this tells you how comfortable we are.
I've got my glock sitting on the nightstand next to us
every time we stay at that hotel.
I mean, it's exterior facing.
You should have a glock on the nightstand
everywhere you stay, period.
I hear you.
But this one is actually, just in case somebody
kicks the door in and something happens.
I mean, that's literally on the edge where we stay.
But I'm like, it's fine.
It's good.
Anyway, but I made a promise to my wife
that we wouldn't stay there again.
But anyway.
Yeah, that's the thing with, like I said,
the cost of these damn vacations.
And my wife and I were planning to go out
to visit my dad again in June.
And you know, air flights are weak.
Probably she works up until the 15th.
So after that.
All right, cool.
There's an excursion that is available to go
to Broken Bow, I think, on the second week.
I don't think I'm supposed to tell Paul that.
Yeah, no, you guys are making plans without me.
I get it.
You know, it's hurtful.
And I talk to my therapist about it quite a bit.
So anyway, I looked and the plane tickets
are $800 a pop round trip.
Yeah, oh, shit, man.
Yeah, and you're flying into Sacramento.
Sacramento.
And then we'll stay with it.
Dick's sucking.
It's stupid, though.
I mean, think about it.
You have someone like, let's just bring in Austin.
We were talking about him working, getting that job.
How long, how many hours would that boy need to work
to be able to afford the flight?
And then you have lodging.
And food.
And extracurricular.
You want to go on a tour.
And a car to get around.
But this is exactly the way we want our kids to get a job
so they understand.
Like, think about it.
When they say something like, like,
It's only $100.
Well, how long is it going to take you to make it?
No, no, no.
What's even better is when they say that to you,
it's like, oh, my god, I would have to work
for four days to pay for that thing
that I want to buy on Amazon.
Right.
And I'm like, ding, it happened.
There's your moment, right?
I sound like Randy right there.
But that's what you want them to do.
Come to the realization that my time is money.
And you know what?
I don't need that.
Right.
But yeah, vacation.
Or I can get it cheaper elsewhere.
I don't need that Nike or Under Armour.
I can go with the store brand or whatever instead.
Yeah.
Good luck with that.
Not our kids, right?
Jeez.
I did with my boys until they could buy it themselves.
Right?
No, there you go.
They got the BCGs and the Academy brands and all that.
Yeah.
I was going to
TJ Maxx.
I was going to talk about
TJ Maxx is a great store.
We took Dawson shopping this weekend.
And he was like, let's go to TJ Maxx.
And he picked out a bunch of t-shirts.
And I mean, they were $7.99 each.
I was like, score.
I was like, who is this kid?
Because he's my brand name kid.
Right.
And he's like, if I have Adidas shorts, I have Adidas top.
Like, I can't mix when I mix a Reebok.
It's just like you can't mix your college teams either.
Right.
You can't have an Ohio State.
Well, yeah.
Yeah, but come on.
A black Adidas shorts and a white Reebok shirt.
You could pull that off.
But not my son.
Hell no.
That's mixing brands.
I don't subscribe to that philosophy.
I don't either.
You should go.
But to his defense, we went to TJ Maxx.
And we should go outside of you.
Who cares about that?
Yeah.
He's a particular kid, which is a cool thing.
So anyway, so I mean, were you trying
to plan a particular summer thing?
I mean, I know you want to camp, right?
You've been talking about camping.
Well, we've got, look, there's a few annual things
that I like to do.
Annual.
Just make sure that's clear.
OK.
All right.
So first of all, Austin, our birthday passed.
And Austin and I, my birthday is on April 2.
Austin is on April 1.
I know.
And we usually have a treat yourself day,
where we just go out and.
Why do you say it like that?
Because that.
Treat yourself.
Austin, pull it up, YouTube.
So we do a treat yourself like it's from trailer parks.
Hold on.
Not from trailer parks.
It's from parks and recreation.
It's.
Oh, I got you.
It's.
Right?
Not the dude from Galaxy?
Yeah.
Chris Pratt is on there.
But it's a treat yourself day.
OK.
So here, play a little snippet of it.
So we got this because we used to watch the show
like every freaking night before we go to bed.
I've heard a lot about it.
It's hilarious.
Clutch is in the building, here to announce that Tom Havill
Foot is in the building.
Oh, one, two, one, two.
Donatella.
T-Mobile.
Three words for you.
Treat yo self.
Treat yourself 2011.
Once a year, Donna and I spend a day treating ourselves.
What do we treat ourselves to?
Clothes.
Treat yourself.
Fragrances.
Treat yourself.
Massages.
Treat yourself.
Mimosis.
Treat yourself.
Fine leather goods.
Treat yourself.
It's the best day of the year.
I got a question.
What do you think about inviting Ben
to come along with us today?
Why, no.
This is our thing.
He really seems like he could use the day off.
He's like a skinny little rubber band
that's about to snap in half.
Exactly.
He doesn't know how to relax.
Donna, you and I are relaxation professionals.
There's no way Ben can slow down enough to keep up with us.
Manuvium princess, this is our holy day.
It's a one day a year.
I'll allow myself to be selfish.
Ooh, cupcakes.
Those are all for me, Jerry.
I didn't know that Parks and Recreation is kind of like
the office and the way they film it.
Oh, it's hilarious.
Yeah.
Like, I had no idea.
Single camera, whatever they call it.
Yeah, where they zoom in, zoom out.
That's kind of cool.
It's funny, but that is the spirit of what Austin
and I like to do.
It's the treat yourself.
And frankly, I'm a little disappointed we
didn't do it this year so far.
You get fine leather goods?
What we do is we go out and we just do things.
We just treat yourself.
It was more fun when Austin was in school, like in high school.
Just getting pulled out of school was good enough.
Just getting out of school and I took off work
and I was kind of like, hey, we're going to go to the Smoothies.
We're going to go here.
It doesn't matter.
We did something that we just broke the rules and went out
and did it.
You did something atypical on what
should have been a normal day.
So I was just like, what did you do?
Treat yourself.
So we didn't do that this year.
And in fact, it wasn't even entertained.
Well, frankly, I've been busy.
And when I suggested something, Austin was like, I'm busy.
So it's like, well, it hasn't connected.
So I made the treat yourself the Paladuro Canyon thing.
So I was like, all right, well, I'm
going to do the treat yourself Paladuro.
And now that's been squashed because there's
no availability out there anywhere, none.
Did you look as well?
Yeah, I looked.
I could call and talk to him.
They're like, yeah, we're booked out.
Now he's a grown ass man.
He's a working man.
There's no time.
Well, 40 years later, he's waiting
for that Paladuro Canyon.
Yeah, but it's that annual thing that you look forward to it.
So I mean, you got to make it a priority.
So Austin, look at me.
We need to figure that out.
So we've got to get a day off.
Do me a favor.
Don't make it Friday because that impinges on Jeff and I's
dudes like a day.
Make it like a Wednesday or Thursday.
Do it Wednesday or Thursday.
Austin turned 20.
Take it to a strip joint.
Don't you have to be 14?
I don't think we want to re-embark that conversation.
I think he's there.
It's a memory lock.
I'm 53 and I still talk about it.
Your dad took you to that?
Yes, my dad.
We talked about that.
Yes.
We did.
When you were 21?
His dad takes them to a place.
They don't even sell alcohol.
They bring in mixers.
They're like, hey, how you doing?
Fruit juices.
Yeah, bring me some of your best drinks.
And you were supposed to bring your own.
It was a BYOB.
I guess you could have.
BYOB.
That's what it was then.
But we didn't know, so we bought some fruit juices.
Well, yeah.
I'd like an orange juice.
Fruit juices.
I'd like some cranberry.
Can I have some ice in mine?
You sipped out my pineapple juice
and squirted it on the dancers?
Whoa.
Bit of sticky?
Oh, the juice.
Really?
Well, you know.
Yeah.
The fruit box, the straw.
Now that he's asking, did you?
It was a Capri Sun.
Capri Sun.
Did you freeze it?
Just stop squirting us, please.
You're the only dude at 21 who gets
thrown out of a strip joint because you're squirting.
Capri Sun.
Capri Sun on the dancers.
Well, he's definitely upped the game.
Now we're going to the Revel, and we're squirting
Travel of Delights bourbon across the room.
It's still Capri Sun.
So I missed the last one.
You guys went to Van Halen.
Which is my favorite band of all time.
And you were disappointed because they only
did the non-Sammy Hagar, which made me even more depressed
because I hated Sammy Hagar.
I hated Van Halen.
Oh, yeah.
No, I like that band.
I like both of them as a thing.
I enjoy.
It was Steve Miller.
I like David Lee Roth better.
Oh, Steve Miller.
It was Steve Miller, and I heard he was fantastic.
He was more than fantastic because he wasn't just
Steve Miller.
I love how we talk about him like he was there.
Well, it was the guys.
He did all cover bands.
But this guy that performed the tribute for Steve Miller
also did like Stevie Ray Vaughn.
That's what Shelly said.
I was so confused.
She sent me a text saying Stevie Ray Vaughn's so good.
I was like, oh my god.
This guy was this guy because he started the conversation
with like he was on a plane.
And he was on a plane with Stevie Ray Vaughn
and having a conversation.
I don't know if that was real or not, but it doesn't matter.
Because this guy that was playing the guitar.
Did he sing Live Life by the Drop?
No, he did two songs.
He did That's a Cold Shot and he did Double Trouble.
Nice.
Yeah.
They're really good.
Oh, yeah.
Dude, he was wailing and he was good.
Well, then he probably needs to consider doing that instead
of Steve Miller.
No, actually, they were really, really good at Steve Miller,
too.
That's what Shelly said, too.
Yeah, I mean, I enjoyed the Steve Miller better
than the Van Halen.
I love the Van Halen.
I think it was just too fucking late for me.
Yeah, it was late.
What about Meltdown?
You said, when did the first band finish?
1130.
Yeah, that's a Friday night.
Yeah, Steve Miller didn't go until 930.
Yeah.
Dudes, I guess, that are at this age right now.
930 to start a band is like, ugh.
By the way, we're young at that place.
I will tell you that right now.
I think we're on the younger side.
I see people that are in there like 60 plus, right?
Oh, yeah, of course.
It is not a young crowd.
Austin, can you pass that bottle of bourbon over here?
Yeah, I need some, too.
That is not a young crowd.
So I think they do need to think about when the crowd wants
to go to sleep.
They need to have a 4 PM band.
They do.
A blue light special.
Absolutely.
Yeah, I laughed because I was like, yeah, I'd have been.
I mean, the last time we left, Shelly was like,
it's time to go.
And I looked at her and I was like, I'm good to go.
You know what I mean?
I didn't even put up a fight.
I was like, I was tired.
That was the one before, the last one I went to.
I don't know what it was.
It was Aussie, maybe?
ACDC.
Yeah, I don't know.
Yeah, well, is that the time the speaker cut on fire?
No.
Yeah, the ACDC.
But the Van Halen band was good.
Don't get me wrong.
They've got Sticks and Journey Saturday.
Yeah, I'm out.
I'm in.
Unfortunately.
Well, it's Easter weekend, bro.
Well, good luck with that.
Yeah.
Yeah, it's OK.
I'm going to go watch Sticks and I'm
going to go watch Journey.
Alan and Tyler are coming into town.
Are you kidding me?
No, no, no.
Look, that is like the perfect excursion.
I mean, think about it.
OK, I can run it by.
Tyler definitely can't.
I don't know if you.
He's had major back problems, like major surgery, major.
He's in rehab.
He's walking with a cane.
I don't think he can do much.
But Alan might be able to get out.
I mean, Shelly could probably stay home with Tyler.
Look, we don't need to stay the whole night.
In fact, I don't want to stay the whole night.
Frankly, I would rather go there and we can
watch one and a half of each band.
We can go there late and leave early.
And just leave for that little window.
And I'll go back to your house and hang out with Alan.
I mean, that'd be fun.
I'm all right with that.
But look, it's Journey and Sticks.
Two fantastic bands.
And it's a tribute.
And we've got like 10, 12 seats.
And Sticks was great in concert, like the real band.
Remember that?
We caught them at Choctaw, didn't we?
Yeah.
He wore tight white pants.
Yeah, I thought that.
We talked about the piano guy being a little crazy.
That's what I'm talking about.
That's who you're talking about.
The tight white pants.
He had this spinning piano that was just.
Dude, that dude was so over the top.
You know Foreigner's going to be up there in a few weeks.
But you can imagine that dude being as old as he is.
He was in his late 60s.
And I have to appreciate that.
I have to.
He was up there gyrating.
He was out there high kicking and climbing
on top of the piano and dancing and doing the river dancing.
He ate a leaves, right?
But you know what, the girl that was next to me, she
was like half my age.
And she was wet.
I felt her.
No, I'm joking.
She was.
Wow.
You're talking at where?
The Sticks thing.
Is this when you had Shrek in front of you?
I don't.
That was great.
Let me set the stage on this one.
We got seven seats, right?
Or eight?
And we're all in a row.
But we weren't smart enough to go four and four, right?
So we could talk to each other during the concert.
No, we got eight across.
And everybody's fine.
Everybody's fine.
And then there's six foot eight.
The dude from Princess Bride.
Andre the Giant.
We looked over and were like, shit,
I don't think he can see anything.
Shortly thereafter, he sends a picture of what he sees.
Sean, that was the funniest damn thing.
I fucking died laughing.
You saw nothing.
You basically saw the top of his butt crack.
And then we felt bad.
We were like, OK, you can come over here or whatever.
You're like, no, it's fine.
It's fine.
Anyway, it was really funny.
Because it was like a silhouette.
He looked like Shrek.
And he was bald.
You could see his ears and his bald head.
It was ridiculous.
It was really funny, though.
I was laughing.
It was funny.
But that was that?
Was that Ariel Speedwagon?
We were on the floor.
I might have been king.
Oh, it was a lover boy.
It was lover boy.
They were good, too.
The guitarist I was not impressed with.
My point is, with the dude gallivanting around the stage,
the piano player in the white pants,
is that there was a young chick next to me digging it.
More than digging it.
She had had paraphernalia with her with sticks.
No.
She had sticks butt beads.
That's what he felt on his thighs.
He was like, oh, god.
She had a monogrammed butt plug with a tail out
that was swinging a stick symbol.
It was looking like a little monogrammed stick spendage.
So my point is that she was all in love with this guy.
Which is cool that a younger generation, right?
There's a difference between appreciation,
which is what you're alluding to, and she was lusting after him.
And I was like, I want that.
And particularly the piano guy.
Yes.
Oh, that's weird.
Yeah, it was odd.
Yeah, that's weird.
Maybe it's her uncle or something.
I would think that's really odd.
Her uncle?
Maybe they're from Kentucky.
Oh, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing.
Whatever.
She just was attractive.
I don't remember actually.
Well, you felt her juices, apparently.
I did not feel her juices.
I just said she was slapping across your face.
Her butt beads?
Yeah, that's what I said.
Oh, my god.
Yeah, there we go.
And here comes another recording from Jeff.
Her beads were slapping across your face.
That's what he does.
In case you want to know listeners or listener,
he pulls out little snippets of what Sean says that's horribly
offensive.
I said to you one that I did.
Yes, and then he'll send it via text and go, who is this?
And it's 93% me, which you probably already know,
listener.
Anyway, good stuff.
The last one was you were talking about chicken snatch.
Oh, god, chicken snatch.
All right, here we go.
Sean's trying to find the juice.
There we go.
That was the juice.
Did you say vagina juice?
That's an example.
That's an example of.
Don't chickens give birth through their buttocks?
OK.
Don't chickens give birth through their buttocks?
You know what this is reminding me of?
You remember the toy when we were kids, you pull the string.
Simon says or what?
No, it's got like different animal noises.
Little cow noises.
That's basically.
A cow goes moo.
So this is like the sick version.
They want to dudes like us pull toy.
That's what you're going to get.
So Trump's arraignment for 2024 election, what's?
Election interference by Alvin Bragg.
Well, I've heard.
I haven't read too much, but from what
I've seen, a lot of the pundits are like, this is a joke.
Even the folks who don't like Trump, even the even
the anti non Trumpers.
Absolutely.
Well, it's it sets the precedence.
It sets it sets the bar to a point where like, hey, man,
look, a dangerous precedent.
If the Democrats can do this to a Republican,
reciprocally, they can do that to us.
So so so there's like a certain point where you usually come on,
man, we need to to win.
That's exactly what they're talking about.
We don't want to become a country where we have where we have.
It's a banana republic.
Everyone keeps saying where we where we are retaliating party
to party and putting our former leaders
through the political process.
I mean, put through the prosecutor being prosecuted.
It makes us look like we're a joke to the point where
you got these other countries that have like no respect
for us now.
Well, you know, for it's getting worse and worse and worse
and more reasons.
Right.
And now they're like, well, you know, the the notion of,
well, you know, America's unstable.
Look at what's going on.
And now they've got the US currency that's losing its value.
So we want you guys, you got China approaching all
these countries is saying, well, you know what?
Look, what's the hell's going on over the United States?
We don't want the United States dollar to represent us anymore.
We need, you know, we want to switch this over to yen.
And you're talking about the world's reserve currency.
Yes.
So there is a reason.
So I read an article a long time ago.
There is a reason why the United States has not
bore the consequences of a very irresponsible fiscal,
you know, management, meaning we were 39 trillion in debt.
What?
Yeah.
What are we at?
38 or 39 trillion.
39 trillion.
Right.
And we don't seem to care.
And we never really have any consequences for it
because of the fact that the world's reserve currency is
the US dollar.
So other superpowers, i.e.
Russia, China, they would love for transactions
to be made in non-US currency and then eventually do away
with the US dollar as a reserve currency.
And it would cause, from what I understand,
hyperinflation of the US dollar, right?
Because now it's being matched to debt, right?
It's being matched to debt.
Because that's typically what happens, right?
In these South American countries.
It's economics 101.
Absolutely.
In South American countries where your debt is far outweighs
your GDP.
And I mean, I'm not even going to pretend
to be a financial, you know, whatever.
But my point is, when you are so out of balance fiscally,
there's consequences, right?
You can't keep printing money.
Yeah, but it's not just the United States.
So I mean, look, there are countries across the world.
I mean, because we, who are we borrowing money from?
China.
And who is everybody else borrowing money from?
Pretty much China.
No.
They're borrowing money from us.
And we just turn around and borrow it from China.
Correct.
So it's like, why would you borrow money from somebody
that's borrowing money?
Right.
But that's exactly what's happened.
France, you have, well, you have all the European countries,
essentially, borrowing money hugely.
Look at Ukraine.
We just, we're over $100 billion.
Oh, fuck Ukraine.
That is a whole different anomaly.
Another $2.6 billion today.
Yeah, I saw that.
And ammunition.
What the fuck?
Like it's just monopoly money, man.
And it's funny because Biden said something.
It's like, you know what?
If, you know, is it worth it for us to make gas prices go up?
Or do we need to take care of Ukraine?
Or is it, oh god, what am I trying to say?
What I'm trying to say is that he was comparing the gas
prices going up associated with the Ukraine shit going on.
If Biden was?
If Biden was.
And people are like, what do you mean?
There's no, yeah.
Are you saying that if we stopped giving money to Ukraine,
our gas prices would go down?
Well, I'm with that.
This is what they're kind of insinuating.
Right.
So I think the overarching argument with Ukraine
is if we don't stop Russia at the Ukraine,
in the Ukraine conflict, it's going to get worse.
Well, is it because Russia's getting their ass kicked?
What does he have in reserve?
It doesn't matter.
On the next, I guess he could wait two or three years.
His deepest pockets ever.
That's what I mean.
And he's throwing bodies at it.
He's throwing criminals.
Now they're emptying the prisons.
Yeah, but once those are gone, what's next?
I know.
I hear you.
That's what I mean.
I was like, OK, Ukraine doesn't have that much left.
Well, I don't think either one of them do.
So what's next?
I do.
If Russia ultimately wins, they don't have much left.
Yeah, they can't keep going.
Yes.
But then you got the full force of NATO
I think you guys are.
To stop them at the border at Poland.
I think what we're missing here is
there's an underlining theme of what's going on.
And it all includes China.
And it has to do with precious, not just metals,
but just materials in itself.
Just like they're going in there.
China's right now in Ukraine harvesting.
They're in there trying to, like in Afghanistan.
As soon as we pulled out of Afghanistan, China was in there
before we pulled out.
They were already in there.
Now China is fucking China's having the same problem
we were having.
I know.
I'm sure that's lovely.
Well, we said that because you're like China's
going to go in there.
Where it's like they're going to have the same fucking problem
everyone else has.
And what was the story?
It had something to do with Taliban abducting
a bunch of Chinese workers or something, right?
But it's all the same thing.
But my point is that China, they know.
They are the powerhouse of production.
When it comes to like, hey, man, we need shit made.
They make it.
They've got the.
They have no manufacturing limitations,
no emission limitations, nothing.
They have no respect for the planet.
And they do what they want.
And they care less about the workforce.
They can die while they're making it.
No, and we'll just harvest the organs.
Yeah.
And that's another market.
Yeah, that's a benefit if they die.
So my point is that Ukraine, for Ukraine,
has a shitload of what am I trying to say?
Elements, materials, they have resources.
Resources in general, absolutely.
Oil, gas, everything.
Tons.
And it's a gigantic country, by the way.
Graphically, where they're located,
they're a huge hub for networking when
it comes to all these pipelines that are coming through.
Well, because it's the gateway to Europe.
Yes.
All of Europe.
And that's funny.
I laugh, because Chubb in 2018 was saying, hey, Germany,
we noticed that you are on the North Atlantic Treaty
Organization.
And we just noticed that you're working with Russia
to try to work out some deals with some gas.
It kind of goes against the, it's
kind of a conflict of interest.
We're trying to protect you from Russia,
and you're working with Russia to get some stuff.
It's like, you are going to fall under the.
If they turn that off, you're fucked.
Basically.
And they all laughed.
They literally laughed at him.
And looked at him.
In the UN, Trump was addressing the UN.
And he said, you guys are basically
going to be fucked when Russia turns you off.
And they laughed.
And look what happened.
Now they can suck a big fat orange.
Oh, shit.
What's up with Germany, man?
Fuck them.
And is Merkel still over there?
She got a.
Oh, Merkel's been gone for a while.
She was a waste.
She was not.
Yeah, not good.
Well, she was at the hell when the whole migration thing
in Germany happened.
She allowed that to happen in the United States.
Open borders.
She was big into that.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah, big time.
So it's a mess, man.
And that's the thing about geopolitical forces.
When people are OK with funding Ukraine to no end,
they're talking about geopolitical,
what Russia does next, all that kind of stuff.
So I get it.
But I'm not on board with a blank check.
I'm not on a blank check forever.
Yes, the United States citizens need to have input.
What did you say it was?
$100 billion?
Over $100 billion, yeah.
So if you were going to try to solve
some of our domestic problems, what do you think
$100 billion would do?
Well, I saw one because somebody.
Well, we threw $600 billion at the banks a couple years ago.
Obama did.
God.
Yeah, saved GM.
Too big to fail.
Right.
Too big to fail unless every single person that lost money
just give their money back.
Sorry to touch on that.
We should tax payers money, by the way.
It is.
This is our money that he's giving away.
Well, that's my point.
We are basically the matrix feeding the world.
The United States citizens are basically
the infrastructure of the world, in my opinion.
And it will run.
Of beating the fucking world.
And it will run out.
It will run out.
Yeah.
Yeah, but you still have a workforce here
that's impeccable.
Yeah, but it will run out.
And we will be screwed.
The United States citizen will be screwed
because the value of the dollar is going to hyperinflate.
Right?
Well, that's why we need someone to jump up and.
And people are going to lose all their.
Oh, dude, half America will die.
And then we're going to sell off the land.
And you know why we're going to die?
Because we get all our fucking medicine from China.
You know what?
If we stop getting our resources from China
from the medicines perspective, we're going to all die.
There are people that need it.
People are going to have heart attacks across the planet.
Oh, yeah.
And it's all going to be from the fact
that we'll be taking this vaccine that has made things
even more complicated because of this unforeseen damages
that fucking the boosters are caused.
I don't think it was the first vaccine.
I think it's the boosters that are causing it.
I think it's all of it.
From what I've read.
Really?
I personally think it's the original one.
And I think the boosters make it worse.
But I haven't stayed up on it in a while.
But my point to that is that this
is an attempt to euthanize the United States.
And this is what they're talking about, the long game.
This is the long game.
Well, fentanyl is part of that as well.
It is.
Fentanyl.
Oh, yeah.
No, I believe this is China's.
They're hitting us from every corner.
And Biden's not doing shit about it.
And I'm like, why aren't you protecting us?
Because he's getting paid.
He's a pussy.
Well, first off, not just him.
But I think a lot of them are just, again.
They're not ignorant.
I think they're afraid.
No, I've said it a million times.
What is their purpose?
What is their goal?
To stay in power.
Get power, stay in power.
They just are riding the gravy train.
They don't give a shit about long term America health.
They're just getting their money.
And they're winning.
They're winning.
That's it.
I mean, there's a select few that see the actual warning
signs.
They see where we're going.
They see that China wants to bring the United States.
Oh, 100%.
Yeah, 100%.
It's going to take a while, though.
It's going to take a while.
I mean, it might be.
I was always saying like a 100 year game.
But maybe they may be less than that.
But did you see the newest reports
that the China balloon was collecting
all kinds of intelligence on our military bases?
We said that at the time.
We said it's real time going back to China.
Well, because it's the satellites.
What are we experts?
I'm sorry.
Are we?
Are you a spy?
Because it's going from that balloon.
It's going from the balloon to the satellite.
What the fuck?
Why can we figure that out?
And the rest of America is just like going, oh, yeah, OK.
They didn't get any sensitive information.
Well, because Biden said they didn't get anything
during that interview.
It was doing figure eights around the silos.
Yes, it was maneuvering.
It was going in figure eights around the silos.
Is what they said.
Like eight figure eights.
Amazing.
But we don't have any control over it.
Oh, and we moved assets.
That was my favorite part.
How do you move?
Instead of shooting the motherfucker down,
they were moving shit to make sure that they couldn't see.
So how do you move a missile silo?
A missile silo.
Well, first of all, that's under the ground, right?
I mean, you can't.
Well, yeah, but they have.
I don't think they see that, do they?
Well, can they?
Do they have ground penetrating radar of some sort?
I don't know.
That would not.
Who knows?
Well, I mean, that would take an instrument to hit the ground
to vibrate.
Maybe they shot a little probe down into the ground.
Maybe they have figured a way out to do it.
Paul.
Maybe they figured out a way to do it.
Maybe they know where all the little doors are when they open.
Now they know where all they're at.
Let's drop bombs on all those.
Boom.
Who knows?
Well, it won't take long.
I mean, yeah, obviously, if you shut the garage door,
you can't get the car out.
Here's the point.
The point is, we are not on a state of alert
that we need to be, period.
We're not taking.
We are not taking seriously.
We're more concerned.
We're not taking China seriously.
No, we're more concerned about pronouns and all that shit
in the military.
These fucking, these trans people.
Look, I don't care about trans people.
They don't affect me.
If a trans person were to walk in right now
into this podcast room, I would have them sit down
and have a conversation with them.
And we would have a ball.
Yeah.
I wouldn't care.
Hey, man, have a bourbon.
Shut the fuck up.
You want to suck dick?
I don't care.
You want to eat.
But why?
It doesn't matter.
Why are we obsessed with it?
Yes.
And why is this thing showing up on fucking Bud Light cans now?
Bud Light cans.
There we go.
I think that was a huge miscalculation on Bud Light's
part.
Yeah.
That's another I don't.
Huge.
That's another I don't know my client.
Correct.
And you know what that is?
It's HR and marketing.
That's probably a very young marketing group.
Yes.
HR and marketing.
Very young marketing group who is like,
this is what we need to do.
Yes.
I just graduated from Berkeley.
We need a virtue signal.
We need to get on board with what everybody else is doing
and show that we're love and acceptance.
And it's just like Yeti.
You remember when Yeti came out with the coolers?
And they said they came out against gun control.
Oh, really?
Yeti coolers.
Talk about not knowing your clientele.
And what was the TikTok or Instagram theme?
Everybody was blowing up their $300 Yeti coolers.
Like literally finding creative ways
to blast it into a million pieces.
Well, that's stupid.
Yeti already has your money.
I know.
But still, that was people's.
That was their fighting.
Well, I mean, it's no different than the guy
with the bulldozer who was running over the Dixie Chicks
CDs.
Correct.
Right?
That's just a way to say, F you.
Yeah.
God, that costs more gas than the CDs
to even turn on the bulldozer.
Chris Rock put out a TikTok or some sort of video today.
He was shooting beer.
Yeah, he was shooting Bud Light cans.
Look, I agree with what he stands for.
But it's just like, come on, man.
There's got to be a more productive way to do it.
And it just makes you seem even more redneck,
even though the gun he was using was pretty bad ass.
It was automatic, wasn't it?
It makes you seem more redneck.
That is the truth.
Yeah, for people who start blowing up Yeti coolers
and blowing up Bud Light.
Well, I'm curious to see how this is going to actually
impact the Bud Light business.
It's going to.
I tell you.
I mean, when you hit NASCAR, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing,
bing, bing.
Well, I mean, for one thing, that's
an industry with a little bit of competition.
Correct.
I'm sorry.
Bud Light's not a fine beer.
No, Anheuser-Busch only puts out so much.
And they've got Bud and Bud Light.
I mean, what else do they got?
They have Stella.
They have Corona.
And a couple others under that umbrella.
And I tell you, on my other group text,
where our loyal listener, Scott, he was like, fuck Bud Light,
Ying Ling, here I come.
I mean, boom, there you go.
I mean, it's that simple.
I still don't drink Coca-Cola.
I don't either.
Wow, because of the whole.
I mean, you don't either, do you?
No.
No, yeah, no way.
I've been over your house.
You son of a bitch.
You have to drink Coke.
I'm trying to stop.
I have the Kroger brand.
I haven't had one since Saturday.
Fucking son.
That's good, right?
Get the Kroger brand.
I did.
Oh, yeah, I get the Sam's Cola.
You shouldn't get Cola at all.
It's horrible for you.
I know.
I'm trying to quit.
Dude, just fucking quit.
No, it's not.
What the hell's wrong with you?
Not that easy.
I'm sorry.
It isn't.
For me, everybody's got their own thing
that they just can't seem to quit.
Well, you know what?
We have sodas in our house.
So I can't say shit, but I don't drink it.
Good for you.
I don't drink it at all, at all.
I've won a day.
I've won for my morning breakfast.
Yeah.
I'm on a quest, and I know it's only been Saturday.
I know.
I've got my thing.
Jeff's like, yeah, fuck you, Sean.
You have your coffee every morning.
I have my Coca-Cola.
There we go.
We all have something that's probably not healthy for us.
Is coffee bad for us?
Coffee's not good for you, I don't think.
I don't think so.
People say it is.
Everything in moderation, though.
Caffeine's not good for you.
Right.
Well, then again, I take a green tea pill
that has 30 milligrams of caffeine in it.
So is that true?
It's bad for your heart.
Green tea extract's supposed to be good for you.
I drink green tea.
I have coffee in the morning, and I have green tea
in the afternoon.
Caffeine is.
Yeah.
Yeah, but there are all types of natural caffeine
that you get.
I mean, chocolate has caffeine in it, smaller doses.
Well, but coffee and Coke and all that stuff
has more caffeine in it.
Now, these red bulls and all that bullshit.
Oh, yeah.
Energy drinks.
Energy drinks?
I'll stay away from that.
But then you got the 108-year-old dude,
and they're like, how'd you live this long?
I drink a Dr. Pepper and eat bacon every day.
I have bacon, cigarettes, and Dr. Pepper.
Right.
I mean, I smoke a clove cigarette while eating my bacon.
He's a clove.
Anomaly is what it is.
I mean, what the fuck?
But then you have these people that have that diet,
and they do it consistently.
And then someone intervenes.
They're like, hey, hey, hey, you're 95 years old.
Stop it, or you're going to die.
They stop it.
They go all healthy.
They're dead in six months.
No.
When they're 95, I go, go, brother.
Do your thing.
Like, do whatever you want.
You want to eat fucking fat all day?
Go for it.
100%.
I get frustrated with my body.
Our bodies are extremely resilient.
They are.
And they work miracles.
Well, also, anything in moderation, right?
So if you drink one Coke a day of coffee or whatever,
it's one thing.
But I know people who, there was a buddy of mine,
he would drink almost a 12 pack a day.
Yes.
I'm going to say, that's so.
That was me in high school.
But an 18-year-old kid is.
Are you kidding me?
So here's what I would do.
I'd come home from school.
I'd pull a Coke out of the refrigerator.
I'd stand there.
Oh, I thought you were doing my beer.
No, no, no.
Coke.
Oh, you said 12 pack of Coke a day.
Yeah, 12 pack of Coke a day.
Yeah.
So I would open a Coke.
I would stand there and glug, glug, glug, glug, glug, glug,
trash, second Coke, shut the refrigerator door,
go sit down, crack it, watch Gillings Island.
And then every hour, another one, another one, another one.
Six pack easy.
A six pack easy every night.
Every night.
Not even all day.
I'm talking about when school ended to when it was, you know.
Not even time for bed.
Like a couple hours after dinner.
Can you imagine?
How the hell was I not diabetic?
How am I not diabetic?
I don't know.
Insane.
Maybe your kidneys are like preserved.
No, because what he said, the human body
is amazingly resilient.
It does.
It'll clean itself.
It will.
It will, if you give it a chance.
To a point.
If you give it a chance.
Yeah, sometimes it's too far.
Yeah.
But yeah, it'll resolve itself.
Some of it will.
So what is the end game for this whole brag Donald Trump feel?
I think he's trying to make a name for himself,
to be perked, to be honest.
Well, hold on.
He tried to back out.
No, he didn't.
No.
No, he did.
He tried to back out.
So here's the evolution of the whole thing.
At the federal level, they said, Nat, there's nothing here.
We can't pursue this.
It doesn't stand.
You know, the rule of law is not going to stand on this one.
And then when Bragg took office, the previous DA,
he was being pressured to take the case.
And he declined it.
He did decline it.
And then he was getting, I'm assuming, intense pressure.
And I know George Soros says, I don't even know the guy.
Whatever.
I think he was getting incredible pressure to say,
you're not getting another penny if you don't pursue this.
So he's like, oh, yeah, we're going
to go ahead and turn these misdemeanors into a felony.
And everybody's like, how do you do that?
The statute of limitations has already
passed for the misdemeanors.
The federal government passed on that.
And they passed on it.
There's so many indications here that this
is going to be dismissed.
Actually, I would think very quickly,
but probably not because of the nature of the judge.
But anyway, where was I going with that?
But we stopped with the judge.
Yeah, you were thinking that.
I didn't know he tried to back out.
Well, he said no at first.
He did.
He said, I don't want to take this on.
Well, that was early on.
But once he did it, he was in.
Oh, yeah.
No, he was in.
Hold on.
I thought there was a period where he stopped,
and then he talked to him.
That was the grand jury.
They took several days off for some reason.
Yeah, so Trump got the lead on the fact
that they were going to announce the indictment.
He got the announcement on the indictment.
And so he's brilliant at playing the social media game.
He jumped on it and said, America,
look what's going to happen.
They're going to do this to me.
And they're going to blah, blah, blah.
And then Bragg was like, oh, shit.
And so then they took a couple days off to talk about it.
And they tried to regather it.
But then eventually, they moved forward with the indictment.
So I've also heard that Trump is not using Twitter,
and he's only using truth.
I would think so.
I don't think he's on Twitter right now.
He can.
I would applaud him for that.
They let him back on, but he hasn't used it,
I don't believe.
I could be wrong with that.
Twitter's not doing well, man.
They've lost 50% of their value since Elon Musk
took over.
I heard he's starting to turn a profit, though.
Is that true?
OK.
That's what I heard.
Yeah, because they owe him a month.
Well, because the verified blue check.
Yes.
They're all pissed off.
All those Hollywood stars.
There's a drama on that one.
They're all pissed off.
Who was it?
LeBron James refused to renew his check.
Yeah, fuck him.
Absolutely.
Then you don't get one.
Then you could be Ted LeBron James out there.
How do I know it's you?
Absolutely.
He'll pay.
I love it.
I may create a LeBron James at LeBron James.
Yeah, but you remember the woke mob
went after the advertisers of Twitter
once Elon Musk took over.
Apple pulled out for a little bit.
And so those cowards are backing out
because they don't want to be.
Apple came back.
I love it.
Oh, they're all about money.
Yeah.
They want their 30%.
Yeah, they're moving out.
I mean, they're missing out.
Right?
They're losing revenue that they could be getting.
But that's the reason why I didn't understand
about the whole Truth app.
You know, if you have half of America,
you know, 80 million people, that is a lot of money
to leave on the table.
Actually, no, that's a good point.
Are you saying half of voting America?
I'm just saying in general.
That might be the case.
Just say Trump supporters, period.
And you have the Truth app.
I mean, come on.
It only makes sense to me.
But not everybody's on Twitter.
There's a lot of folks on Twitter.
That's right.
The Truth app.
But even fewer on Truth.
That's right.
That's my point.
But the reason why there's fewer people
is because they have omitted it from the app farms.
You know, like you can't.
Can you get it now on Android?
Well, you can get it on Apple.
I don't know about Android.
That's a good point.
My point is that also I think Jeff has a good point in that we
might be thinking more people are into social media
and Twitter and Truth than there really are.
Yeah, there's a lot of folks that are on it.
A lot.
So they don't see anything.
That's why that whole Twitter media thing, that whole whatever
the fuck they call it, didn't go over.
It was a bad call to stunt the growth of this app
that Trump was trying to put out.
Because if the people from Apple wanted to make money
and they're about money, I mean, they
wanted to shut down Trump so bad they were willing to forfeit
this money.
That's correct.
That's what's scary.
That's the part that I'm making.
Companies that are in the business of making money
are willing to lose money because they have become IDI.
That's what ESG is.
That's exactly right.
ESG and DEI.
D-I-E.
Yes.
Die.
No, no.
Oh, yes.
You want to change it.
It's called die.
Go woke, go broke.
Yes.
Yeah, no, that's all legit.
What is that D-Wack doing these days?
I don't even.
I haven't checked that.
I haven't looked in a long time.
I think it was 1,200 a share.
Sell.
What did you sell at, Sean?
I still have mine.
I don't even know.
It's a $14.
How much?
$14.
I actually made a profit on it.
I did.
Shut up.
I know.
But I'm very savvy when it comes to investing.
This was on the same podcast.
Whatever I do, do the opposite.
That's true.
I suck.
I totally suck.
I have.
Is that really at $14 right now?
$14.03.
I just let it sit there.
I've got.
You buy it at $100, right?
I bought it at around $100.
Yeah.
It was over $90 for sure.
Good lord.
That's not a good investment.
Well, you know what?
It is what it is at this point.
And I'm just going to leave it there.
I hear you.
So it'll die.
I wish I had done that with Dogecoin.
So I had bought.
I mean, Dylan, my son, was in Robinhood.
Was it Robinhood?
Or maybe?
I don't know.
Anyway, and I didn't have access to cyber.
Crooked, crooked, crooked.
Oh, yeah.
Oh.
I was.
I didn't have any access to cyber currency.
So I literally wired him or transferred him $1,000.
Taxed these days.
I know it would be.
And I said, hey, man, go get some cyber currency.
It's not a cyber currency.
Cryptocurrency.
Ethereum?
Yeah.
Yeah, it was Ethereum.
And Dogecoin.
Ethereum and Dogecoin.
Actually, it was Dogecoin.
And then we were all excited.
It was going to go nuts.
And he was like.
And then Elon Musk did his.
Sounded that live?
Bullshit son of a bitch.
He was like, yep, it's all a scam.
Boom.
Bottom fell out.
It was a scam.
And it is a scam.
It still is.
But it has spiked since he changed his.
Precon.
Yes, to the dog.
So we.
Yeah.
So we should talk about a little bit more
about that on the next podcast.
Because is there going to be a resurgence of cryptocurrency?
Or is it done?
Well, here's the thing about cryptocurrency.
It took a hit, man.
Huge hit.
It did take a hit.
But here's the thing.
And this is what Biden's pushing right now.
Is that this is what the world is pushing.
They're getting rid of currency, period.
And it's all going to be electronic.
It's all digital.
So it doesn't matter if it's.
It doesn't matter at a certain point.
The whole digital currency is stupid.
There is nothing tangible about it.
Well, but they're talking about changing the US
dollar to the digital currency.
And then we talked about this.
You can turn off.
If you don't meet your social score, you can turn off your money.
Yes, you're correct.
Angel, Reese, and Caitlin Clark, we've got the Keith Dickhead
from ESPN.
We've got whales dying from sea wind fans and projects
that you abandon because they just cost too fucking much.
And you're like.
No, you don't abandon.
You choose to take it on.
And you don't want to.
I want to talk about that.
I got a couple of those lined up.
Dudes like us.
It's the April 4th.
It's exciting because it's a new season.
Springtime.
And this is the fucking great bourbon.
I'm drunk.
Me too.
It's fantastic.
I want to stick with Rebecca's Creek in the second half.
We'll have to see.
Maybe we'll see if there's a lower proof one that we can.
Mr. Producer, Mr. Austin, thank you.
Dudes like us.
I'm Sean.
We'll be back in 30 minutes.
I'm Paul.
And I'm Jeff.
incredible.