1 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:08,920 Welcome to our podcast, The Why in your 20s. 2 00:00:08,920 --> 00:00:10,960 My name is Viv and I'm Nat. 3 00:00:10,960 --> 00:00:16,280 We are two counselors in our mid-20s navigating our adderhood away from our home country, 4 00:00:16,280 --> 00:00:22,880 exploring the why questions we encounter relating to relationships, identities and uncertainties. 5 00:00:22,880 --> 00:00:27,480 So whether you're listening to our podcast while going for your walk or doing rituals, 6 00:00:27,480 --> 00:00:38,200 or just reading, welcome on board and let the journey begin. 7 00:00:38,200 --> 00:00:40,160 Welcome, welcome, welcome. 8 00:00:40,160 --> 00:00:44,840 Welcome to our first episode of The Why in your 20s. 9 00:00:44,840 --> 00:00:46,880 First episode. 10 00:00:46,880 --> 00:00:47,880 Yay. 11 00:00:47,880 --> 00:00:50,320 How exciting that is. 12 00:00:50,320 --> 00:00:52,400 How are you feeling Viv? 13 00:00:52,400 --> 00:00:54,880 Very excited for our first episode. 14 00:00:54,880 --> 00:00:57,680 Um, yeah, just very excited. 15 00:00:57,680 --> 00:00:59,960 Excited that it's actually happening. 16 00:00:59,960 --> 00:01:00,960 Yeah right. 17 00:01:00,960 --> 00:01:01,960 It's so surreal. 18 00:01:01,960 --> 00:01:02,960 Crazy. 19 00:01:02,960 --> 00:01:03,960 It is. 20 00:01:03,960 --> 00:01:08,080 So what will be our first topic for this podcast? 21 00:01:08,080 --> 00:01:10,240 We're talking about being an adult. 22 00:01:10,240 --> 00:01:16,920 So being an adult is usually associated with, you know, being 18 for most countries. 23 00:01:16,920 --> 00:01:20,880 So yeah, do you actually remember what you first did when you turned 18? 24 00:01:20,880 --> 00:01:22,280 I'm not sure. 25 00:01:22,280 --> 00:01:31,360 I think I turned 18 while I'm still having the public exam, the HKDSE in Hong Kong. 26 00:01:31,360 --> 00:01:38,600 So I'm still struggling the last bit of studying and didn't really feel anything different. 27 00:01:38,600 --> 00:01:45,120 I think the society make a huge deal on, you know, turning 18 and finally an adult. 28 00:01:45,120 --> 00:01:49,960 But for me personally, I didn't feel much at that moment. 29 00:01:49,960 --> 00:01:51,920 Because you were busy studying. 30 00:01:51,920 --> 00:01:55,560 You didn't realize it was 18 or? 31 00:01:55,560 --> 00:01:58,080 I do realize it's just how sad. 32 00:01:58,080 --> 00:02:01,360 Because I remember it's few days later is the last subjects. 33 00:02:01,360 --> 00:02:06,120 And I'm like, oh, I wish I finished everything on my birthday. 34 00:02:06,120 --> 00:02:11,560 It's just, it's not like it's 12 a.m. and I feel like, oh, I'm suddenly an adult. 35 00:02:11,560 --> 00:02:12,560 No. 36 00:02:12,560 --> 00:02:16,440 You didn't feel like you were an adult when you, when there was 1201? 37 00:02:16,440 --> 00:02:19,640 No, not at all. 38 00:02:19,640 --> 00:02:23,280 Maybe like 12 or 3 then I'm like, oh, maybe I'm an adult now. 39 00:02:23,280 --> 00:02:25,480 Wow, that's tremendous now. 40 00:02:25,480 --> 00:02:31,280 Yeah, but honestly, that's not much feeling to me like turning 18 at that moment. 41 00:02:31,280 --> 00:02:33,480 Yeah, I think I agree. 42 00:02:33,480 --> 00:02:36,520 Turning 18, it wasn't, it didn't feel like a big deal. 43 00:02:36,520 --> 00:02:38,840 I think personally for me, it was similar. 44 00:02:38,840 --> 00:02:43,880 I wasn't, I wasn't going through like the Hong Kong DSE, the public examination. 45 00:02:43,880 --> 00:02:48,320 But I think it was more like it was just another birthday. 46 00:02:48,320 --> 00:02:50,760 It wasn't really a big thing. 47 00:02:50,760 --> 00:02:57,760 Like I know people have big parties on 18th or 21 or like those important, important birthdays. 48 00:02:57,760 --> 00:02:58,760 Yeah. 49 00:02:58,760 --> 00:02:59,760 Personally, not really. 50 00:02:59,760 --> 00:03:02,960 Like I don't think I felt anything different. 51 00:03:02,960 --> 00:03:04,920 Yeah, I think I agree with you. 52 00:03:04,920 --> 00:03:08,040 It's just another birthday. 53 00:03:08,040 --> 00:03:13,720 Might have an extra layer on top because, you know, it's 18 and the society makes it 54 00:03:13,720 --> 00:03:14,720 a huge deal. 55 00:03:14,720 --> 00:03:21,440 That 18, oh, you're finally legal, you can do certain things, buy certain things that 56 00:03:21,440 --> 00:03:24,120 you cannot do when you're like below 18. 57 00:03:24,120 --> 00:03:25,120 Yeah. 58 00:03:25,120 --> 00:03:30,000 So what is the first thing that you did when you turned 18? 59 00:03:30,000 --> 00:03:36,100 I think not memorable, but like it was a very normal birthday. 60 00:03:36,100 --> 00:03:39,800 So I think I just went out with my, with my family. 61 00:03:39,800 --> 00:03:42,200 I just had a picture. 62 00:03:42,200 --> 00:03:45,240 But other than that, I don't think I did anything too memorable. 63 00:03:45,240 --> 00:03:46,240 Yeah. 64 00:03:46,240 --> 00:03:54,080 I think society or even like my own friend circle, circle group, they put a lot of emphasis 65 00:03:54,080 --> 00:03:56,800 on being 18. 66 00:03:56,800 --> 00:03:59,240 Most of them had like big birthday parties. 67 00:03:59,240 --> 00:04:05,320 And at the time I was like, I felt weird just pretending it's a normal birthday. 68 00:04:05,320 --> 00:04:11,000 So do you do anything particular to makes it different or it's just a feeling that you 69 00:04:11,000 --> 00:04:12,000 have? 70 00:04:12,000 --> 00:04:13,000 It's just a feeling that I had. 71 00:04:13,000 --> 00:04:20,120 I think it's just a feeling that like the society puts an expectation of turning 18. 72 00:04:20,120 --> 00:04:24,800 You want to have fun, like quote, quote, have fun. 73 00:04:24,800 --> 00:04:25,800 Yeah. 74 00:04:25,800 --> 00:04:29,400 And just enjoy yourself like that. 75 00:04:29,400 --> 00:04:31,160 The day is yours kind of thing. 76 00:04:31,160 --> 00:04:32,640 You can do whatever you want. 77 00:04:32,640 --> 00:04:33,640 Like, yeah. 78 00:04:33,640 --> 00:04:34,640 That's interesting. 79 00:04:34,640 --> 00:04:39,400 Did you do anything that was a bit more memorable than other than studying? 80 00:04:39,400 --> 00:04:40,400 Unfortunately, no. 81 00:04:40,400 --> 00:04:43,400 Yeah. 82 00:04:43,400 --> 00:04:48,240 I think, I think most of us don't actually feel that much of a difference, especially 83 00:04:48,240 --> 00:04:49,240 with our experience. 84 00:04:49,240 --> 00:04:50,240 Yeah. 85 00:04:50,240 --> 00:04:57,480 But I think there's certain things that I need to do that makes it feel more real. 86 00:04:57,480 --> 00:05:02,160 For example, I don't know if my memory is wrong or not, but I remember I need to get 87 00:05:02,160 --> 00:05:04,200 a new ID card. 88 00:05:04,200 --> 00:05:05,200 Oh yeah. 89 00:05:05,200 --> 00:05:11,560 And of course buying alcohol for the first time without adult supervision. 90 00:05:11,560 --> 00:05:12,560 Yeah. 91 00:05:12,560 --> 00:05:19,320 I know a lot of people are mad driving or like getting a license is one of the big things. 92 00:05:19,320 --> 00:05:20,320 Yeah. 93 00:05:20,320 --> 00:05:22,720 But honestly in Hong Kong, driving is not a big thing. 94 00:05:22,720 --> 00:05:26,040 So that's not what everyone will do when they turn 18. 95 00:05:26,040 --> 00:05:30,960 But I know a lot of people, they did get their license once they turn 18. 96 00:05:30,960 --> 00:05:32,440 That is very true. 97 00:05:32,440 --> 00:05:38,080 I think a lot of countries, like whether they're 16, 18 or whatever age they are, like if you 98 00:05:38,080 --> 00:05:41,440 get your license, you become more independent. 99 00:05:41,440 --> 00:05:43,800 So that's when they feel more like an adult. 100 00:05:43,800 --> 00:05:44,800 But I think yeah. 101 00:05:44,800 --> 00:05:50,200 When we were doing some research, we came across the term emerging adulthood and the 102 00:05:50,200 --> 00:05:54,520 term is coined by Jeffrey Jensen Arnett. 103 00:05:54,520 --> 00:06:01,680 And they studied this age group of 20 something around our age and they realized the main 104 00:06:01,680 --> 00:06:06,240 transitional events, like the main themes that they go through that they feel like they're 105 00:06:06,240 --> 00:06:08,480 more of an adult. 106 00:06:08,480 --> 00:06:12,040 There are different events which I'm going to go through. 107 00:06:12,040 --> 00:06:15,440 And the first one is leaving home and moving countries. 108 00:06:15,440 --> 00:06:17,600 The second is starting university. 109 00:06:17,600 --> 00:06:21,840 And next is finding employment and developing a career path. 110 00:06:21,840 --> 00:06:25,520 I think that's what we're going through at the moment, Nat and I. 111 00:06:25,520 --> 00:06:29,840 Pursuing romantic relationships and getting married, starting your own family. 112 00:06:29,840 --> 00:06:35,840 I think for this, even our common friends are getting married, starting their own family. 113 00:06:35,840 --> 00:06:40,120 And it's just they're almost the same age as us, but they're going through such a different 114 00:06:40,120 --> 00:06:41,560 stage in their life. 115 00:06:41,560 --> 00:06:42,560 It's kind of weird. 116 00:06:42,560 --> 00:06:43,560 It's so weird. 117 00:06:43,560 --> 00:06:47,880 Like I have some friends already get married and have kids. 118 00:06:47,880 --> 00:06:53,000 And I know we shouldn't compare in this way, but there's an invisible timeline or comparison 119 00:06:53,000 --> 00:06:55,600 out there feeling, oh, I'm behind. 120 00:06:55,600 --> 00:06:59,040 But we can talk about that later. 121 00:06:59,040 --> 00:07:01,760 And the last one is exploring religious beliefs. 122 00:07:01,760 --> 00:07:06,520 And that means these events are mostly experienced by twenties. 123 00:07:06,520 --> 00:07:11,640 And obviously it could happen later or earlier in your life, but this is just the average 124 00:07:11,640 --> 00:07:12,640 group. 125 00:07:12,640 --> 00:07:13,640 Yeah. 126 00:07:13,640 --> 00:07:16,360 And I think that's what we briefly talked before. 127 00:07:16,360 --> 00:07:17,360 It's like a milestone. 128 00:07:17,360 --> 00:07:23,400 Like there's certain things that you did and makes you feel a bit more adult-y. 129 00:07:23,400 --> 00:07:27,520 Is there, the list that you just mentioned, is there something you click with? 130 00:07:27,520 --> 00:07:33,160 Yeah, I think like what I have went through and going through, it's the first three, it's 131 00:07:33,160 --> 00:07:36,920 leaving home and moving countries and starting university. 132 00:07:36,920 --> 00:07:41,440 And also what we're experiencing now, like finding a job. 133 00:07:41,440 --> 00:07:48,240 And I think these three is more of what I can share my experience with. 134 00:07:48,240 --> 00:07:54,640 So I actually remember the time when I had to leave Hong Kong and come to Australia, 135 00:07:54,640 --> 00:07:58,280 to Brisbane to start my bachelor degree. 136 00:07:58,280 --> 00:08:02,360 And honestly, the first day, it was a very hectic day. 137 00:08:02,360 --> 00:08:08,960 It's just because the day before I had to come here, I received an email from my student 138 00:08:08,960 --> 00:08:09,960 accommodation. 139 00:08:09,960 --> 00:08:11,920 They didn't pass the fire inspection. 140 00:08:11,920 --> 00:08:14,920 And when I got the email, I was kind of panicking inside. 141 00:08:14,920 --> 00:08:15,920 I couldn't show it. 142 00:08:15,920 --> 00:08:21,520 Yeah, I was panicking and I'm like, I don't know what to do because I won't be able to 143 00:08:21,520 --> 00:08:23,120 have a place to live. 144 00:08:23,120 --> 00:08:25,880 Yeah, so then I was panicking. 145 00:08:25,880 --> 00:08:29,280 So I emailed them back like saying, what should I do now? 146 00:08:29,280 --> 00:08:33,640 And they didn't reply me because I have to leave the day after that. 147 00:08:33,640 --> 00:08:36,280 I'm like, oh, I don't know what to do. 148 00:08:36,280 --> 00:08:41,560 And I didn't want to trouble my parents because I feel like I should be handling this myself. 149 00:08:41,560 --> 00:08:43,080 What makes you think that? 150 00:08:43,080 --> 00:08:49,200 I think I just didn't want to worry them because if I told them that and I didn't have a solution, 151 00:08:49,200 --> 00:08:51,880 then they will worry that I don't have a place to live. 152 00:08:51,880 --> 00:08:54,160 I think same as my worry as well. 153 00:08:54,160 --> 00:08:58,240 But they would be more worried because they are my parents, right? 154 00:08:58,240 --> 00:08:59,360 Yeah. 155 00:08:59,360 --> 00:09:03,840 So then I just didn't tell them and I just came because I transferred in Singapore. 156 00:09:03,840 --> 00:09:08,280 So when I went to Singapore, I checked my email and they didn't respond. 157 00:09:08,280 --> 00:09:12,560 And the moment I arrived in Brisbane, I checked my email again. 158 00:09:12,560 --> 00:09:19,280 Luckily, there was an email telling me that, okay, you can stay in these few places. 159 00:09:19,280 --> 00:09:24,280 So it's like service apartments in the city is very close to QUT as well. 160 00:09:24,280 --> 00:09:28,760 But they told me to go directly to the student accommodation still. 161 00:09:28,760 --> 00:09:31,280 They will help me organize stuff and stuff like that. 162 00:09:31,280 --> 00:09:35,320 But I was a bit worried because I didn't know where I'm actually going to stay, right? 163 00:09:35,320 --> 00:09:38,800 Yeah, it's like a whole new country, a whole new experience. 164 00:09:38,800 --> 00:09:42,760 And the one thing that you're certain previously is where you stay. 165 00:09:42,760 --> 00:09:45,400 And now that's become uncertainty as well. 166 00:09:45,400 --> 00:09:46,400 Yeah. 167 00:09:46,400 --> 00:09:47,760 That must be scary. 168 00:09:47,760 --> 00:09:50,960 I think at the moment, I was like, okay, it doesn't matter. 169 00:09:50,960 --> 00:09:52,960 Okay, I feel like I'm very blessed. 170 00:09:52,960 --> 00:09:57,760 It's like, it doesn't matter if I don't have a place to live because I have my dad's credit 171 00:09:57,760 --> 00:10:01,320 card and I have my passport. 172 00:10:01,320 --> 00:10:04,880 I think these were the main things that I knew I had. 173 00:10:04,880 --> 00:10:08,560 No matter what happens, I would still have a place to live. 174 00:10:08,560 --> 00:10:11,080 And I'm very blessed in that aspect. 175 00:10:11,080 --> 00:10:18,720 So yes, I was very worried about all the uncertainties, but there was still a last resort that I 176 00:10:18,720 --> 00:10:20,680 can hang on to. 177 00:10:20,680 --> 00:10:21,680 Yeah. 178 00:10:21,680 --> 00:10:22,680 Yeah. 179 00:10:22,680 --> 00:10:26,240 So there was still a lot of uncertainty and there's nothing much I can do anyway. 180 00:10:26,240 --> 00:10:32,600 So I still, like there was free transportation from my provider from the uni, like from the 181 00:10:32,600 --> 00:10:35,520 airport to the student accommodation. 182 00:10:35,520 --> 00:10:39,680 So I just got on, like there wasn't much I can do anyways. 183 00:10:39,680 --> 00:10:46,080 So I arrived and they told me, okay, you're going to stay at this service apartment. 184 00:10:46,080 --> 00:10:49,080 It was Oaks on Charlotte. 185 00:10:49,080 --> 00:10:50,080 Wow. 186 00:10:50,080 --> 00:10:56,440 That must be so hectic that you remember very precisely. 187 00:10:56,440 --> 00:10:57,440 Yeah. 188 00:10:57,440 --> 00:11:00,600 And it was, no, honestly, it was a very nice service apartment. 189 00:11:00,600 --> 00:11:07,860 I had like my, I had my own room and extra one, two rooms in total and a living room. 190 00:11:07,860 --> 00:11:10,800 It was more than enough because I was living by myself. 191 00:11:10,800 --> 00:11:11,800 Yeah. 192 00:11:11,800 --> 00:11:14,400 But yeah, it was just the whole experience itself. 193 00:11:14,400 --> 00:11:17,240 It was very, I don't even know how to describe it. 194 00:11:17,240 --> 00:11:20,720 It was just very overwhelming at the moment. 195 00:11:20,720 --> 00:11:25,920 No, but now looking back, I should have, I think it was so overwhelming that I had to 196 00:11:25,920 --> 00:11:32,080 be very solution focused or else there's nothing, like I can't handle it. 197 00:11:32,080 --> 00:11:33,080 Yeah. 198 00:11:33,080 --> 00:11:39,720 I guess, as I said, there's a lot of uncertainty in a new country and a new environment. 199 00:11:39,720 --> 00:11:45,880 And it's very different from, I would assume what you experienced in high school where 200 00:11:45,880 --> 00:11:47,780 it's very routine wise. 201 00:11:47,780 --> 00:11:49,500 Everything is very structured. 202 00:11:49,500 --> 00:11:53,600 You know what to expect in the next moment. 203 00:11:53,600 --> 00:11:58,600 So that's not much surprises or like uncertainty back then. 204 00:11:58,600 --> 00:12:04,720 But once you get into a new country, everything is so new that anything can happen and that 205 00:12:04,720 --> 00:12:06,640 makes it more overwhelming. 206 00:12:06,640 --> 00:12:07,640 Yeah. 207 00:12:07,640 --> 00:12:09,880 I think it's just a lot of surprises. 208 00:12:09,880 --> 00:12:10,880 Yeah, you're right. 209 00:12:10,880 --> 00:12:16,320 It's a lot of surprises that you, you didn't know you had to deal with. 210 00:12:16,320 --> 00:12:17,320 Yeah. 211 00:12:17,320 --> 00:12:23,760 And I think at that moment when I settled in the new, like the service apartment, that's 212 00:12:23,760 --> 00:12:29,440 when I felt like, oh, okay, maybe, maybe this is what adult thing is. 213 00:12:29,440 --> 00:12:32,360 Maybe this is what I'm supposed to do. 214 00:12:32,360 --> 00:12:35,720 Being adult, this responding to different crisis. 215 00:12:35,720 --> 00:12:36,720 Yeah. 216 00:12:36,720 --> 00:12:42,880 And it's very interesting when you said you feel like you should not let your parents 217 00:12:42,880 --> 00:12:46,080 know because I actually feel the same way. 218 00:12:46,080 --> 00:12:52,520 I don't know if it's immediately after I turned 18, but it's a change that I realized myself 219 00:12:52,520 --> 00:12:59,960 in my early adulthood that a lot of things I would ask my parents when I was young, I 220 00:12:59,960 --> 00:13:05,560 would prefer to do it on my own and find a solution on my own first. 221 00:13:05,560 --> 00:13:10,560 And I know I'm very privileged and protected that my parents are very supportive. 222 00:13:10,560 --> 00:13:13,680 So if I have any question, I can go to them. 223 00:13:13,680 --> 00:13:21,240 But once I turned 18, I tend to, as you said, like manage those crisis situation on my own, 224 00:13:21,240 --> 00:13:26,440 even though I know they have, I have them to back me up, but you still choose to be 225 00:13:26,440 --> 00:13:30,000 more independent and handle on your own. 226 00:13:30,000 --> 00:13:35,640 That's interesting because you said it only, you only realized it in your twenties, right? 227 00:13:35,640 --> 00:13:36,640 Yeah. 228 00:13:36,640 --> 00:13:42,280 I think now looking back, once I moved to another country, one thing is I don't like 229 00:13:42,280 --> 00:13:43,280 texting. 230 00:13:43,280 --> 00:13:48,640 So I wouldn't take the initiative to ask or call my parents for help. 231 00:13:48,640 --> 00:13:54,600 As if you're at home, you're in person, it's easier to say out. 232 00:13:54,600 --> 00:13:59,600 So I don't know if that's contributed to that change, but that's what I slowly realized 233 00:13:59,600 --> 00:14:06,560 when I turned 18 and moving into my twenties, that I'm a bit more independent and I will 234 00:14:06,560 --> 00:14:10,520 try to resolve those crisis situation on my own. 235 00:14:10,520 --> 00:14:16,680 Well, yeah, I think it definitely played a role in like leaving home and moving countries 236 00:14:16,680 --> 00:14:22,400 that push you to be more independent because that's what we have to do. 237 00:14:22,400 --> 00:14:24,200 Yes, to survive. 238 00:14:24,200 --> 00:14:25,840 Yeah, to survive. 239 00:14:25,840 --> 00:14:31,480 And were there any moments like that for you where you feel like, oh, maybe this is what 240 00:14:31,480 --> 00:14:37,200 adult thing is, or maybe this is what adulthood is like? 241 00:14:37,200 --> 00:14:42,880 I think my experience is very different from you in terms of moving countries, because 242 00:14:42,880 --> 00:14:48,400 I have my parents with me at the time, so it's definitely less overwhelming than yours. 243 00:14:48,400 --> 00:14:57,240 But I do realize some moments that I feel a bit more adult is cleaning the bathroom. 244 00:14:57,240 --> 00:15:06,680 I feel so ashamed to share this, but I also realized a lot of people didn't know how to 245 00:15:06,680 --> 00:15:07,680 clean the bathroom. 246 00:15:07,680 --> 00:15:14,320 And again, I'm very privileged and protected that I never need to do household chores, 247 00:15:14,320 --> 00:15:19,040 simple things like cleaning the table that I still do. 248 00:15:19,040 --> 00:15:22,800 But like cleaning the bathroom, I barely help my mom. 249 00:15:22,800 --> 00:15:25,240 One is because she has very high standard of cleanliness. 250 00:15:25,240 --> 00:15:29,920 My mom didn't hear this. 251 00:15:29,920 --> 00:15:35,560 And I wouldn't allow her to go into kitchen because she's like, oh, don't mess up my kitchen, 252 00:15:35,560 --> 00:15:36,560 whatever. 253 00:15:36,560 --> 00:15:42,200 But yes, I'm very protected and I can focus on my study and don't have to worry about 254 00:15:42,200 --> 00:15:43,200 household chores. 255 00:15:43,200 --> 00:15:48,880 But once you move to a new country, you realize a lot of things you need to do on your own. 256 00:15:48,880 --> 00:15:51,240 It's not something your parents will help you to do. 257 00:15:51,240 --> 00:15:54,880 One of the things is cleaning the bathroom. 258 00:15:54,880 --> 00:15:57,440 And you thought it would be very easy. 259 00:15:57,440 --> 00:16:03,240 But I think at that moment, I'm like, why do I still need to Google how to clean a bathroom? 260 00:16:03,240 --> 00:16:07,080 And I think that's the moment I feel like, wow, that's adulthood responsibility. 261 00:16:07,080 --> 00:16:09,960 Like, I'm being so dramatic here. 262 00:16:09,960 --> 00:16:17,000 Cleaning the bathroom and knowing what solution or what to buy to clean the bathroom. 263 00:16:17,000 --> 00:16:18,000 Yeah. 264 00:16:18,000 --> 00:16:19,000 Yeah. 265 00:16:19,000 --> 00:16:24,600 So it's more about the little things that you actually have to do that you didn't even 266 00:16:24,600 --> 00:16:28,160 realize that you had to pay attention to. 267 00:16:28,160 --> 00:16:33,880 Because at home, like your mom would do most of the chores, clean and everything. 268 00:16:33,880 --> 00:16:39,120 But then now that you're here, you realize, oh, you realize that you have to do a lot 269 00:16:39,120 --> 00:16:43,880 of the household chores that you didn't extremely aware of. 270 00:16:43,880 --> 00:16:44,880 Yeah. 271 00:16:44,880 --> 00:16:46,840 I'm like a princess when I'm at home. 272 00:16:46,840 --> 00:16:49,280 I don't need to do anything. 273 00:16:49,280 --> 00:16:57,280 Especially I'm very surprised as well, because in college, we have undergraduate and postgraduate 274 00:16:57,280 --> 00:17:03,440 can be like 26, 27 that they, I don't know, they first moved to Australia as well. 275 00:17:03,440 --> 00:17:09,920 So during COVID time, because of safety reasons, the housekeeper won't go into our room to 276 00:17:09,920 --> 00:17:11,680 clean our bathroom. 277 00:17:11,680 --> 00:17:18,240 And I got a lot of people asking how to clean a bathroom. 278 00:17:18,240 --> 00:17:23,960 Even they are like 26, 27 that you thought, you know, the age would be very adult that 279 00:17:23,960 --> 00:17:26,840 you would, I would assume you know everything. 280 00:17:26,840 --> 00:17:32,800 But I think it's, it's not like when you turn 20 and then you start doing, I think what 281 00:17:32,800 --> 00:17:37,800 makes it different for me is because I move country that I stay away from my parents that 282 00:17:37,800 --> 00:17:40,280 I start learning this thing. 283 00:17:40,280 --> 00:17:45,120 And I'm sure there's people that still stay with their parents when they're 26, 27 and 284 00:17:45,120 --> 00:17:46,520 that's okay. 285 00:17:46,520 --> 00:17:50,400 Everyone goes on a different pace according to the experience anyway. 286 00:17:50,400 --> 00:17:56,200 I think it's like certain milestone or as you said, transitional events that push us 287 00:17:56,200 --> 00:17:57,600 to be more adult. 288 00:17:57,600 --> 00:17:59,320 Yeah, definitely. 289 00:17:59,320 --> 00:18:06,560 I think these adult responsibilities does push us to be more independent, especially 290 00:18:06,560 --> 00:18:12,480 when you leave home earlier, it pushes you to like, quote unquote grow up faster. 291 00:18:12,480 --> 00:18:14,800 Yeah, that's right. 292 00:18:14,800 --> 00:18:17,560 It's more like in the 20s. 293 00:18:17,560 --> 00:18:20,120 It's not like a specific age. 294 00:18:20,120 --> 00:18:25,640 As we said, like it's not like when you turned 18, you're an adult. 295 00:18:25,640 --> 00:18:28,840 When you turn 20, you're an adult. 296 00:18:28,840 --> 00:18:34,560 It's more about the experience and it's like a continuous journey, I think. 297 00:18:34,560 --> 00:18:36,440 Yeah, absolutely. 298 00:18:36,440 --> 00:18:43,160 And again, as we already mentioned previously that it's okay that you experience things 299 00:18:43,160 --> 00:18:47,560 that we shared later in your adulthood and it's different from us. 300 00:18:47,560 --> 00:18:54,080 Whereas we have some experience that we have never encountered before that we wouldn't 301 00:18:54,080 --> 00:18:56,640 be able to share our experience as well. 302 00:18:56,640 --> 00:19:05,280 So I think it's a continuous journey and that's what makes our podcast very different or special. 303 00:19:05,280 --> 00:19:10,160 Because I know a lot of podcasts, they share the experience once they turn 30s and then 304 00:19:10,160 --> 00:19:13,920 they share back on lesson they learned in the 20s. 305 00:19:13,920 --> 00:19:20,400 You know, like those 10 things I wish I know before or the five things you should know 306 00:19:20,400 --> 00:19:23,880 before you turn 20, something like that. 307 00:19:23,880 --> 00:19:28,920 And what our podcast is to share our journey and we are going through all these things 308 00:19:28,920 --> 00:19:30,680 with you as well. 309 00:19:30,680 --> 00:19:35,600 So we are definitely no expert in adulthood. 310 00:19:35,600 --> 00:19:37,240 We just enrolled in the course. 311 00:19:37,240 --> 00:19:41,000 We are exploring and going through with you guys. 312 00:19:41,000 --> 00:19:46,720 Yeah, I think that makes our podcast a bit different that we are still struggling with 313 00:19:46,720 --> 00:19:47,720 it. 314 00:19:47,720 --> 00:19:48,880 We're still going through that journey. 315 00:19:48,880 --> 00:19:54,520 It's just sharing our experience will help broaden that perspective and honestly the 316 00:19:54,520 --> 00:19:58,280 other podcasts, like those lessons that we've learned, it's very helpful. 317 00:19:58,280 --> 00:19:59,280 It's very helpful. 318 00:19:59,280 --> 00:20:02,200 It's just a different topic. 319 00:20:02,200 --> 00:20:04,240 I think it's a different approach. 320 00:20:04,240 --> 00:20:10,120 Yeah, I personally really love those videos or podcasts as well. 321 00:20:10,120 --> 00:20:15,560 It's very concise and it's like a crash course. 322 00:20:15,560 --> 00:20:22,840 Yeah I think we mainly, that was a very, honestly I think it's a big tangent from adulting, 323 00:20:22,840 --> 00:20:30,920 but like we focus more about the adult responsibilities like cleaning your bathroom or like moving, 324 00:20:30,920 --> 00:20:34,080 like finding an accommodation and all that. 325 00:20:34,080 --> 00:20:41,560 Like were there any other aspects, let's say for example, any questions relating to identity 326 00:20:41,560 --> 00:20:47,520 that started to appear more or like something like that or like honestly more on the mental 327 00:20:47,520 --> 00:20:48,520 side? 328 00:20:48,520 --> 00:20:54,120 Yeah, I think there's certain some moments that I realized I'm more an adult, not just 329 00:20:54,120 --> 00:20:59,480 tangible tasks that we mentioned, but more like mental side for say figuring out who 330 00:20:59,480 --> 00:21:00,480 am I. 331 00:21:00,480 --> 00:21:05,120 I don't know if that's a common experience that people encounter when they reach adulthood 332 00:21:05,120 --> 00:21:06,880 or it's just because my personality. 333 00:21:06,880 --> 00:21:11,760 But when I first moved to college, I've made a lot of friends because there's a lot of 334 00:21:11,760 --> 00:21:16,200 people and it's just very convenient to make new friends. 335 00:21:16,200 --> 00:21:21,160 But then I think in deep, I slowly realized I long for that deep connection that I used 336 00:21:21,160 --> 00:21:23,360 to have back in high school. 337 00:21:23,360 --> 00:21:27,960 And that made me reflect on what kind of friendship I want to have. 338 00:21:27,960 --> 00:21:33,400 And I think before figuring out that I need to know who am I first and what I like and 339 00:21:33,400 --> 00:21:38,960 what I dislike in order to figure out what kind of people I want to hang out with. 340 00:21:38,960 --> 00:21:45,160 So I do feel a bit lost in my early 20s to figure out who am I and what kind of person 341 00:21:45,160 --> 00:21:47,040 I want to be, if that makes sense. 342 00:21:47,040 --> 00:21:55,000 Yeah, I definitely agree that these questions does start like at least for me as well that 343 00:21:55,000 --> 00:21:58,280 it started in university. 344 00:21:58,280 --> 00:22:03,760 I don't know if it came the same way as you did because for you, it's more about the asking 345 00:22:03,760 --> 00:22:10,600 the questions of who I am because you want to know yourself more in order to know what 346 00:22:10,600 --> 00:22:12,960 you want, what you like, what you dislike. 347 00:22:12,960 --> 00:22:19,560 But I think mine was a bit different because it started to surface when I started to talking 348 00:22:19,560 --> 00:22:22,480 to new people in university. 349 00:22:22,480 --> 00:22:28,600 For example, these very surface questions of like, what's your name, what do you study, 350 00:22:28,600 --> 00:22:32,240 where you're from, and just very basic questions. 351 00:22:32,240 --> 00:22:38,040 But at the same time, it's a necessary process when you meet someone new, right? 352 00:22:38,040 --> 00:22:45,840 But I think for me, it's more like I go a bit deeper in seeing like, if it's my name, 353 00:22:45,840 --> 00:22:47,320 is that who I am? 354 00:22:47,320 --> 00:22:52,920 Like for say, I use my Chinese name or my English name, which one do I use? 355 00:22:52,920 --> 00:22:55,680 Or what do I study? 356 00:22:55,680 --> 00:23:00,920 Is marketing really something that I want to pursue as a career? 357 00:23:00,920 --> 00:23:02,920 Or like where I'm from? 358 00:23:02,920 --> 00:23:05,560 Am I representing where I'm from? 359 00:23:05,560 --> 00:23:09,500 Or am I like a completely different person if I'm here? 360 00:23:09,500 --> 00:23:12,880 So I think all these questions kind of surface. 361 00:23:12,880 --> 00:23:18,480 And honestly, even for like, for orientation week, there's a lot of icebreak questions. 362 00:23:18,480 --> 00:23:20,720 Like, what's your favorite color? 363 00:23:20,720 --> 00:23:21,920 What's your favorite movie? 364 00:23:21,920 --> 00:23:23,280 What's your favorite food? 365 00:23:23,280 --> 00:23:28,440 And all these preferences, I never knew I needed to have or honestly needed to think 366 00:23:28,440 --> 00:23:33,440 about because back home is more about other people choosing for you. 367 00:23:33,440 --> 00:23:35,880 At home, my mom will cook for me. 368 00:23:35,880 --> 00:23:39,280 When we go out, people will decide for me and all these. 369 00:23:39,280 --> 00:23:41,240 So I never have to think for myself. 370 00:23:41,240 --> 00:23:43,240 That actually makes sense. 371 00:23:43,240 --> 00:23:50,200 Like you need to make more decision on your own that reflects on you wondering what kind 372 00:23:50,200 --> 00:23:51,200 of person you are. 373 00:23:51,200 --> 00:23:57,440 And I don't know if that's explained what happens to you, but because it's a new environment 374 00:23:57,440 --> 00:24:04,480 and there's a lot of changes, maybe at home, you are not that conscious about your preferences. 375 00:24:04,480 --> 00:24:08,800 And once you meet new people and all these questions and ice breaking questions that 376 00:24:08,800 --> 00:24:11,400 make you reflect as well. 377 00:24:11,400 --> 00:24:16,640 Yeah, I agree because I didn't have to think about it and the preference do change. 378 00:24:16,640 --> 00:24:19,400 I think for me, I'm still figuring that out. 379 00:24:19,400 --> 00:24:24,000 Like whenever people still ask me like nowadays, like what's your favorite food? 380 00:24:24,000 --> 00:24:25,000 What's your favorite color? 381 00:24:25,000 --> 00:24:30,480 Honestly, I randomly say stuff. 382 00:24:30,480 --> 00:24:34,840 Like I honestly, every time, every time my answers change because I don't really have 383 00:24:34,840 --> 00:24:35,840 a favorite color. 384 00:24:35,840 --> 00:24:36,920 I don't have a favorite food. 385 00:24:36,920 --> 00:24:40,120 I sometimes I say rice, but honestly, I don't like rice. 386 00:24:40,120 --> 00:24:46,240 It's not like you don't care, but like you're very carefree that you don't mind any options 387 00:24:46,240 --> 00:24:48,680 or you just simply can't think of one. 388 00:24:48,680 --> 00:24:49,880 I just don't mind it. 389 00:24:49,880 --> 00:24:53,360 Like who cares about your favorite color? 390 00:24:53,360 --> 00:24:56,360 I'm still going to wear different colors every time, right? 391 00:24:56,360 --> 00:24:58,720 Well, you wear black all the time. 392 00:24:58,720 --> 00:25:05,160 Yeah, so honestly, most of the time I say black, but then when I wear something like 393 00:25:05,160 --> 00:25:08,560 for example, if I wear pink, someone will ask me, oh, so do you like pink? 394 00:25:08,560 --> 00:25:09,920 I'm like, okay, yeah, sure. 395 00:25:09,920 --> 00:25:10,920 I like pink. 396 00:25:10,920 --> 00:25:13,800 Like honestly, I don't mind any color. 397 00:25:13,800 --> 00:25:20,480 It's just for me, black is more useful because you can wear it whenever you want. 398 00:25:20,480 --> 00:25:25,080 Like it doesn't matter what day it is or what else you're wearing. 399 00:25:25,080 --> 00:25:27,060 Black is always okay. 400 00:25:27,060 --> 00:25:31,440 So I would assume like color, it doesn't really matter to you. 401 00:25:31,440 --> 00:25:32,440 What's your favorite? 402 00:25:32,440 --> 00:25:34,280 Yeah, it really doesn't. 403 00:25:34,280 --> 00:25:39,480 Yeah, but I think like nowadays people still ask you, at least people still ask me and 404 00:25:39,480 --> 00:25:44,400 I'm like, okay, black, yellow, red, pink, blue. 405 00:25:44,400 --> 00:25:52,760 But you definitely have some for say favorite cuisine or like favorite restaurant. 406 00:25:52,760 --> 00:25:54,360 Do you have any of those? 407 00:25:54,360 --> 00:25:58,960 No, I think just recently someone asked me, oh, what's your favorite cuisine? 408 00:25:58,960 --> 00:26:02,520 And I just randomly said Japanese and I don't mind it. 409 00:26:02,520 --> 00:26:03,520 I like it. 410 00:26:03,520 --> 00:26:05,960 To be fair, I don't actually eat it often. 411 00:26:05,960 --> 00:26:10,400 What about on your, for say it's your birthday and you got to choose what restaurant you 412 00:26:10,400 --> 00:26:12,960 go, what will you choose that you have to choose? 413 00:26:12,960 --> 00:26:14,640 Like you can't say I don't care. 414 00:26:14,640 --> 00:26:19,880 No, last time recently I chose, but it wasn't based on the cuisine. 415 00:26:19,880 --> 00:26:24,640 It was based on the environment that I think most people would enjoy it. 416 00:26:24,640 --> 00:26:31,680 So my own preference, honestly, it didn't occur to me to put into consideration because 417 00:26:31,680 --> 00:26:34,960 it's going to make it harder because I don't really have a preference. 418 00:26:34,960 --> 00:26:39,160 But anyways, that's changing, right? 419 00:26:39,160 --> 00:26:41,480 As you said, the changes you grow older. 420 00:26:41,480 --> 00:26:42,480 Yeah. 421 00:26:42,480 --> 00:26:46,680 So how do you define, you know, who you are, like, what are the things that you know? 422 00:26:46,680 --> 00:26:48,440 Yes, this is fit. 423 00:26:48,440 --> 00:26:51,560 When you say this, it can link to fit. 424 00:26:51,560 --> 00:26:53,680 I'm thinking it's not, I'm ignoring you. 425 00:26:53,680 --> 00:26:54,680 No, I know. 426 00:26:54,680 --> 00:26:55,680 Okay. 427 00:26:55,680 --> 00:27:00,160 It's a hard question after I ask it. 428 00:27:00,160 --> 00:27:06,560 No, I have, but I think there are a lot of identities I hold dearly to. 429 00:27:06,560 --> 00:27:09,760 For example, being a daughter. 430 00:27:09,760 --> 00:27:10,760 Yeah. 431 00:27:10,760 --> 00:27:17,880 Being a sister, being a Christian, being, I mean, no, I think being a friend. 432 00:27:17,880 --> 00:27:20,080 Sorry, I put it quite low. 433 00:27:20,080 --> 00:27:23,120 I have no judgement here. 434 00:27:23,120 --> 00:27:26,720 No, but I think these are the main things. 435 00:27:26,720 --> 00:27:31,480 Like family, Christianity and friends, these are the most important thing to me. 436 00:27:31,480 --> 00:27:36,520 So I think the identities relating to that, it's the most important thing to me. 437 00:27:36,520 --> 00:27:40,200 And the others, it is just there. 438 00:27:40,200 --> 00:27:45,680 And I think I came to the realization when like a year or two years ago, that's when 439 00:27:45,680 --> 00:27:50,800 I feel like, that's when I realized those identity will keep changing. 440 00:27:50,800 --> 00:27:57,760 Like liking a colour, liking a food, being a student, being a counselor or whatever, 441 00:27:57,760 --> 00:27:59,240 it will just keep changing. 442 00:27:59,240 --> 00:28:03,640 But these identities that I hold dearly to, it never changes. 443 00:28:03,640 --> 00:28:07,040 You said the same thing as what one of my clients said. 444 00:28:07,040 --> 00:28:08,040 Oh. 445 00:28:08,040 --> 00:28:11,040 What did your client say? 446 00:28:11,040 --> 00:28:18,320 Because I was, well, I wouldn't disclose too much because of confidentiality, but we are 447 00:28:18,320 --> 00:28:21,640 doing an exercise around identity. 448 00:28:21,640 --> 00:28:29,920 And I asked the person, that's four bubbles on the paper, write down who you are. 449 00:28:29,920 --> 00:28:36,000 And because that person is on a spectrum, so it's a lot of black and white thinking. 450 00:28:36,000 --> 00:28:41,020 So I was trying to show some example on what, who am I? 451 00:28:41,020 --> 00:28:45,440 So I said, I'm a counselor, so counselor is one of my identity. 452 00:28:45,440 --> 00:28:48,880 And the person said, no, counseling is what you do. 453 00:28:48,880 --> 00:28:51,520 It's not who you are. 454 00:28:51,520 --> 00:28:52,520 It's not your identity. 455 00:28:52,520 --> 00:28:53,520 And I'm like, wow. 456 00:28:53,520 --> 00:28:57,720 Like, and that's the beauty of being a counselor. 457 00:28:57,720 --> 00:29:02,000 You learn, it's not only the client learn from you, but you learned a lot from your 458 00:29:02,000 --> 00:29:04,400 client as well. 459 00:29:04,400 --> 00:29:09,840 And I was just kind of shocked when you said the same thing as well, that my job can change. 460 00:29:09,840 --> 00:29:10,840 Yeah. 461 00:29:10,840 --> 00:29:15,800 But there's certain things of who you are that cannot change. 462 00:29:15,800 --> 00:29:18,680 And I think that's that part I'm still figuring out. 463 00:29:18,680 --> 00:29:19,680 Yeah. 464 00:29:19,680 --> 00:29:23,200 And I think that's the beauty of the whole podcast itself. 465 00:29:23,200 --> 00:29:27,360 We're still going through it and we're still finding our own identity. 466 00:29:27,360 --> 00:29:33,080 Like, even though like these other things, like counseling and like your job and other 467 00:29:33,080 --> 00:29:34,800 stuff will keep changing. 468 00:29:34,800 --> 00:29:36,840 And I'm still figuring that out. 469 00:29:36,840 --> 00:29:40,440 It's the journey that we're going through together that makes it more interesting, I 470 00:29:40,440 --> 00:29:41,440 think. 471 00:29:41,440 --> 00:29:42,440 Definitely. 472 00:29:42,440 --> 00:29:45,000 And identity is such an interesting thing. 473 00:29:45,000 --> 00:29:46,680 Hey, it is. 474 00:29:46,680 --> 00:29:49,640 It's honestly, it leads to even more questions. 475 00:29:49,640 --> 00:29:50,640 Yeah. 476 00:29:50,640 --> 00:29:51,640 Always. 477 00:29:51,640 --> 00:29:52,640 Yeah. 478 00:29:52,640 --> 00:29:55,920 So what will you do when like all these questions surface? 479 00:29:55,920 --> 00:29:59,360 I think for me, it comes all together, right? 480 00:29:59,360 --> 00:30:06,160 Like for me, at least for me, and I just have to remind myself to tackle it one by one, 481 00:30:06,160 --> 00:30:10,520 because if I tackle it all together, it's just very overwhelming and I don't know where 482 00:30:10,520 --> 00:30:11,840 to start. 483 00:30:11,840 --> 00:30:13,920 And I'm being very illogical. 484 00:30:13,920 --> 00:30:14,920 Yeah. 485 00:30:14,920 --> 00:30:15,920 Yeah. 486 00:30:15,920 --> 00:30:21,800 So that's what I usually do try to be more, honestly, be more patient with myself. 487 00:30:21,800 --> 00:30:24,040 Just it's okay to tackle it one by one. 488 00:30:24,040 --> 00:30:29,960 And even tackling it one by one, it's okay to not have answers. 489 00:30:29,960 --> 00:30:35,920 It's just being able to explore more on that question. 490 00:30:35,920 --> 00:30:40,520 Or more answers that I may come up with. 491 00:30:40,520 --> 00:30:43,320 And sometimes I just avoid it completely, honestly. 492 00:30:43,320 --> 00:30:48,900 It's very exhausting to keep asking these questions and answering them. 493 00:30:48,900 --> 00:30:50,920 So I do avoid them as well. 494 00:30:50,920 --> 00:30:51,920 Yeah. 495 00:30:51,920 --> 00:30:52,920 It's like big questions. 496 00:30:52,920 --> 00:30:55,560 It's not like, what's your favorite color? 497 00:30:55,560 --> 00:30:56,560 That is a big question. 498 00:30:56,560 --> 00:30:57,560 For years. 499 00:30:57,560 --> 00:30:58,560 Yeah. 500 00:30:58,560 --> 00:30:59,560 Yeah. 501 00:30:59,560 --> 00:31:00,560 Yeah. 502 00:31:00,560 --> 00:31:01,560 Definitely. 503 00:31:01,560 --> 00:31:02,560 I agree. 504 00:31:02,560 --> 00:31:08,560 I'm very curious and have the patience to tackle or like explore the questions one by 505 00:31:08,560 --> 00:31:09,560 one. 506 00:31:09,560 --> 00:31:10,560 Yeah. 507 00:31:10,560 --> 00:31:11,560 Yeah. 508 00:31:11,560 --> 00:31:12,560 I actually did the opposite in my early adulthood. 509 00:31:12,560 --> 00:31:19,160 You know, I'm a person that thinks a lot and I can dwell into all these big questions 510 00:31:19,160 --> 00:31:24,280 kind of, you know, jump into the rabbit hole and can't get out. 511 00:31:24,280 --> 00:31:28,480 It's just, honestly, at some point I just keep talking to myself and trying to figure 512 00:31:28,480 --> 00:31:30,200 out what makes sense of my thoughts. 513 00:31:30,200 --> 00:31:34,640 At first I thought I'm like crazy that I'm talking to myself to the wall. 514 00:31:34,640 --> 00:31:40,600 But I think it's really helpful for me to make sense of my thoughts instead of just 515 00:31:40,600 --> 00:31:41,600 rambling. 516 00:31:41,600 --> 00:31:45,200 Well, maybe that's rambling, but it works for me. 517 00:31:45,200 --> 00:31:48,400 I want to do it anyway. 518 00:31:48,400 --> 00:31:50,840 And I think that's what I agree with what you said. 519 00:31:50,840 --> 00:31:57,180 It's very important to have that patience and you don't need to find all those questions 520 00:31:57,180 --> 00:31:58,180 in one day. 521 00:31:58,180 --> 00:32:03,760 You can have all the time you got in your life to figuring it out. 522 00:32:03,760 --> 00:32:09,480 Even if that means in your thirties, forties, or like even later onwards, that's okay as 523 00:32:09,480 --> 00:32:11,680 well. 524 00:32:11,680 --> 00:32:16,920 Because like twenties is definitely an age full of uncertainties as what our bio said. 525 00:32:16,920 --> 00:32:24,600 A lot of uncertainties, a lot of exploration, a lot of changes, a lot of ambivalence around 526 00:32:24,600 --> 00:32:25,600 oh, do I like this? 527 00:32:25,600 --> 00:32:27,040 Do I like that? 528 00:32:27,040 --> 00:32:34,160 So I think it's okay to focus on yourself a bit more to have that curiosity and embrace 529 00:32:34,160 --> 00:32:36,480 what you are feeling and experiencing. 530 00:32:36,480 --> 00:32:41,240 Oh, and I recently saw an analogy, right? 531 00:32:41,240 --> 00:32:48,400 If people don't know, I love analogy or metaphors and it's just things that can visualize the 532 00:32:48,400 --> 00:32:51,080 thoughts is just how beautiful it is. 533 00:32:51,080 --> 00:32:52,680 Do you agree with it? 534 00:32:52,680 --> 00:32:53,680 You have to. 535 00:32:53,680 --> 00:32:57,800 I feel like I'm put on a spot. 536 00:32:57,800 --> 00:33:03,480 I'm just trying to encourage people around me to love metaphor and analogy. 537 00:33:03,480 --> 00:33:08,960 Anyway, I recently saw that illustration about furniture. 538 00:33:08,960 --> 00:33:14,320 You know, when we first moved to uni or like college, you don't really need to buy furniture 539 00:33:14,320 --> 00:33:17,400 because the college or the dorm will provide it to you. 540 00:33:17,400 --> 00:33:20,920 So you don't own all those things. 541 00:33:20,920 --> 00:33:26,720 Once you move out of college, you start to find your own place, right? 542 00:33:26,720 --> 00:33:31,840 And it's very overwhelming because you're like, oh my gosh, I need to buy furniture. 543 00:33:31,840 --> 00:33:36,520 I need to paint this and decide what to get. 544 00:33:36,520 --> 00:33:40,540 And it's very overwhelming, but it doesn't have to. 545 00:33:40,540 --> 00:33:47,560 You can move to a furnished place first and slowly accumulate furniture that you have. 546 00:33:47,560 --> 00:33:50,040 And you don't have to buy brand new furniture to begin with. 547 00:33:50,040 --> 00:33:53,360 You can get secondhand or go to marketplace. 548 00:33:53,360 --> 00:33:56,320 I love go to marketplace to look for furniture. 549 00:33:56,320 --> 00:33:57,320 Some of them are free. 550 00:33:57,320 --> 00:33:59,320 Some of them are like really cheap. 551 00:33:59,320 --> 00:34:06,360 And I'm not ashamed of saying this because that's what I can afford now. 552 00:34:06,360 --> 00:34:12,240 And that makes the whole experience of moving out less overwhelming because you're not jumping 553 00:34:12,240 --> 00:34:19,080 from zero to a hundred, but it's zero to ten, ten to twelve, twenty. 554 00:34:19,080 --> 00:34:24,560 And moving forward, once you got more experience, once you got more furniture, then you can 555 00:34:24,560 --> 00:34:29,680 move to an unfurnished place and then moving forward, you can build your own house, build 556 00:34:29,680 --> 00:34:31,200 your own furniture. 557 00:34:31,200 --> 00:34:38,480 So I think that's a very beautiful way to visualize how we approach adulthood as well. 558 00:34:38,480 --> 00:34:46,240 You don't need to go to a hundred immediately, but take your time and do it step by step. 559 00:34:46,240 --> 00:34:49,880 How nice, I love it. 560 00:34:49,880 --> 00:34:51,520 Do you agree? 561 00:34:51,520 --> 00:34:52,760 It is. 562 00:34:52,760 --> 00:35:00,760 I think it's very important energy to remind us that really take your time and recognizing 563 00:35:00,760 --> 00:35:07,880 how much, let's say skills or things that you have accumulated throughout your past 564 00:35:07,880 --> 00:35:16,080 experiences and just the time that you have lived on earth that you do have stuff that 565 00:35:16,080 --> 00:35:23,080 you have learned and remembering it will help you utilize those things that you have learned 566 00:35:23,080 --> 00:35:28,200 to process the things that you're going through or even coping with the things that you're 567 00:35:28,200 --> 00:35:29,920 going through at the moment. 568 00:35:29,920 --> 00:35:35,360 Yeah, it's like playing games you're like leveling up every day. 569 00:35:35,360 --> 00:35:37,880 Another metaphor. 570 00:35:37,880 --> 00:35:40,360 Yeah, great. 571 00:35:40,360 --> 00:35:45,640 Yeah, that's actually that's kind of cute. 572 00:35:45,640 --> 00:35:51,400 Yeah, well, I don't play computer games, but it's just no, I don't either, but it's kind 573 00:35:51,400 --> 00:35:52,400 of cute. 574 00:35:52,400 --> 00:35:53,400 It's Mario. 575 00:35:53,400 --> 00:35:54,400 Oh, that's cute. 576 00:35:54,400 --> 00:35:55,400 Okay, that's cute. 577 00:35:55,400 --> 00:35:56,400 Yeah, yeah, we don't play games, obviously. 578 00:35:56,400 --> 00:35:57,400 That's why I think of Mario. 579 00:35:57,400 --> 00:36:10,400 But anyways, I think that's a great analogy and it's that similar on how you would approach 580 00:36:10,400 --> 00:36:11,400 adulthood. 581 00:36:11,400 --> 00:36:14,000 Yeah, I think it's just don't rush. 582 00:36:14,000 --> 00:36:17,360 You got all the time you have. 583 00:36:17,360 --> 00:36:19,640 Take it one day at a time. 584 00:36:19,640 --> 00:36:24,920 Don't overwhelm yourself and don't be too hard on yourself if you can't figure out those 585 00:36:24,920 --> 00:36:27,040 answers. 586 00:36:27,040 --> 00:36:31,920 It's okay to feel lost because when you're figuring out there's more possibilities as 587 00:36:31,920 --> 00:36:32,920 well. 588 00:36:32,920 --> 00:36:35,000 Yeah, just stay open. 589 00:36:35,000 --> 00:36:36,000 Don't rush. 590 00:36:36,000 --> 00:36:37,000 Be nice to yourself. 591 00:36:37,000 --> 00:36:41,000 I think that's how my current approach to adulthood. 592 00:36:41,000 --> 00:36:42,000 What about you? 593 00:36:42,000 --> 00:36:44,840 I think it's definitely spot on. 594 00:36:44,840 --> 00:36:45,840 It's like don't rush. 595 00:36:45,840 --> 00:36:47,560 Be patient with yourself. 596 00:36:47,560 --> 00:36:54,880 I think the only thing that I would add is being more childlike is keeping that curiosity 597 00:36:54,880 --> 00:37:01,880 in exploring different things and also just having that childlike heart where, for example, 598 00:37:01,880 --> 00:37:03,880 what makes you happy, honestly? 599 00:37:03,880 --> 00:37:09,880 For me personally, during summer, I love stepping on the crunchy leaves. 600 00:37:09,880 --> 00:37:17,000 I think it just brings me back to my childhood, being very happy, very innocent. 601 00:37:17,000 --> 00:37:20,160 These little things make me happy. 602 00:37:20,160 --> 00:37:26,480 It's very important to keep these little happy moments in your life because it matters. 603 00:37:26,480 --> 00:37:29,160 It adds up and it matters in your life. 604 00:37:29,160 --> 00:37:31,760 If you want to run in the rain, go for it. 605 00:37:31,760 --> 00:37:33,680 It's honestly perfect season. 606 00:37:33,680 --> 00:37:35,560 It's going to rain soon. 607 00:37:35,560 --> 00:37:36,560 Yeah. 608 00:37:36,560 --> 00:37:40,200 Why not just run in the rain or if you want to jump into puddles? 609 00:37:40,200 --> 00:37:49,240 Well, actually that's not very safe, but just do what makes you feel happy because these 610 00:37:49,240 --> 00:37:53,640 little moments really, really matter. 611 00:37:53,640 --> 00:37:56,960 It helps you manage adulthood better. 612 00:37:56,960 --> 00:37:57,960 Yeah. 613 00:37:57,960 --> 00:38:05,040 I agree because we are talking about emerging adulthood, but that doesn't mean we cannot 614 00:38:05,040 --> 00:38:06,400 be childlike. 615 00:38:06,400 --> 00:38:10,840 I remember a story because I was currently volunteering working with kids. 616 00:38:10,840 --> 00:38:17,040 One time we were having afternoon tea and we are teaching the kids, you got to try new 617 00:38:17,040 --> 00:38:18,040 things. 618 00:38:18,040 --> 00:38:23,720 You got to be curious and try a piece of fruit, try the grape or blueberries because a lot 619 00:38:23,720 --> 00:38:27,240 of kids are like, yuck, fruit, ew. 620 00:38:27,240 --> 00:38:31,920 We encouraged them to have a piece of fruit first before you can have biscuits. 621 00:38:31,920 --> 00:38:37,040 And towards the end, when we're cleaning up, there's fruits left over and one of the co-workers 622 00:38:37,040 --> 00:38:39,480 asked me, do you want a piece of fruit, Matt? 623 00:38:39,480 --> 00:38:42,600 Because there's leftover or else we're going to throw it away. 624 00:38:42,600 --> 00:38:44,560 But I was quite full at that time. 625 00:38:44,560 --> 00:38:46,960 So I'm like, oh no, I'm okay. 626 00:38:46,960 --> 00:38:52,960 And I think one of the kids heard it and she came over and said, Matt, you need to try 627 00:38:52,960 --> 00:38:53,960 new things. 628 00:38:53,960 --> 00:38:54,960 Yeah. 629 00:38:54,960 --> 00:39:01,840 And I find, oh, that's very cute, but also very true that I need to try new things. 630 00:39:01,840 --> 00:39:04,280 Because that's what we teach the kids. 631 00:39:04,280 --> 00:39:07,440 So I took a grape and then walk away. 632 00:39:07,440 --> 00:39:13,840 But I just reflect on this story and I'm like, yes, like a lot of times we forgot how to 633 00:39:13,840 --> 00:39:19,400 be childlike and we rush to be an adult. 634 00:39:19,400 --> 00:39:24,120 That's why when you said that, I resonate with it because I'm like, oh my gosh, this 635 00:39:24,120 --> 00:39:31,080 is something I need to learn because I forgot how to be a child again. 636 00:39:31,080 --> 00:39:34,560 Did you end up liking the grape? 637 00:39:34,560 --> 00:39:37,560 It's okay. 638 00:39:37,560 --> 00:39:39,400 Yeah. 639 00:39:39,400 --> 00:39:44,000 But I think definitely it's not about you liking it, liking the grape or not. 640 00:39:44,000 --> 00:39:47,480 It's more about having that curiosity to try again. 641 00:39:47,480 --> 00:39:48,480 Yeah. 642 00:39:48,480 --> 00:39:55,000 Because sometimes when we don't like things when we are a kid, things might change when 643 00:39:55,000 --> 00:40:00,640 you reach adulthood and we just need to unlearn and rewire your belief and thoughts. 644 00:40:00,640 --> 00:40:03,400 I think that's very important. 645 00:40:03,400 --> 00:40:08,840 It's actually one of the, I don't know if it's a quote or a slogan for the University 646 00:40:08,840 --> 00:40:09,840 of Sydney. 647 00:40:09,840 --> 00:40:12,160 I don't know if it's still true or not. 648 00:40:12,160 --> 00:40:14,400 It's like we learn to unlearn. 649 00:40:14,400 --> 00:40:15,400 Wow. 650 00:40:15,400 --> 00:40:16,400 Okay. 651 00:40:16,400 --> 00:40:21,240 And then when I was like young, like 18, 19, me and my friends still love it. 652 00:40:21,240 --> 00:40:23,240 Like we don't get the meaning of it. 653 00:40:23,240 --> 00:40:26,240 We're like, why do you need to unlearn? 654 00:40:26,240 --> 00:40:27,240 Ha ha ha. 655 00:40:27,240 --> 00:40:36,360 I think now I get it, a lot of things you need to unlearn and be curious and adventurous, 656 00:40:36,360 --> 00:40:40,320 create a new belief that you might not have when you were a kid. 657 00:40:40,320 --> 00:40:44,000 So yes, learn to unlearn. 658 00:40:44,000 --> 00:40:45,000 That's very true. 659 00:40:45,000 --> 00:40:46,720 It's easier said than done. 660 00:40:46,720 --> 00:40:49,720 It's very hard to unlearn the things that we have learned. 661 00:40:49,720 --> 00:40:50,720 Yeah, obviously. 662 00:40:50,720 --> 00:40:51,720 Yes. 663 00:40:51,720 --> 00:40:53,720 It's a very good approach as well, I think. 664 00:40:53,720 --> 00:40:54,720 Yeah. 665 00:40:54,720 --> 00:40:57,480 So that's a very good approach as well. 666 00:40:57,480 --> 00:41:04,320 And today we mainly talked about emerging adulthood and there are six main transitional 667 00:41:04,320 --> 00:41:09,600 events that we went through and we kind of went through some of the experiences that 668 00:41:09,600 --> 00:41:16,040 we've gone through as for example, turning 18 or moments that we realized that we're 669 00:41:16,040 --> 00:41:18,880 no longer a kid anymore, more like a mentor. 670 00:41:18,880 --> 00:41:25,580 And also these questions, these identity questions that we go through and also try to answer 671 00:41:25,580 --> 00:41:27,160 them on our own. 672 00:41:27,160 --> 00:41:31,960 But at the same time, we realized that more questions do emerge from it. 673 00:41:31,960 --> 00:41:32,960 Yeah. 674 00:41:32,960 --> 00:41:39,760 Mainly the approach that we have is being curious, embracing it, being childlike and 675 00:41:39,760 --> 00:41:41,040 be patient with ourselves. 676 00:41:41,040 --> 00:41:46,680 Don't rush because we have our entire life to be an adult. 677 00:41:46,680 --> 00:41:48,840 And that's what we went through today. 678 00:41:48,840 --> 00:41:54,880 And if there are some questions that you want to go through yourself or reflect on, go for 679 00:41:54,880 --> 00:41:55,880 it. 680 00:41:55,880 --> 00:42:00,680 And if you want to share with a friend, why not? 681 00:42:00,680 --> 00:42:06,560 It's always good to share that perspective of things and honestly just do what Nan are 682 00:42:06,560 --> 00:42:07,960 doing at the moment. 683 00:42:07,960 --> 00:42:08,960 Yeah. 684 00:42:08,960 --> 00:42:14,280 I personally really enjoy our conversation because you and I are very similar but also 685 00:42:14,280 --> 00:42:19,360 different that it's so interesting to hear your perspective as well. 686 00:42:19,360 --> 00:42:20,360 Definitely. 687 00:42:20,360 --> 00:42:22,200 I enjoy our conversation every time. 688 00:42:22,200 --> 00:42:25,000 I think I learn something new every time. 689 00:42:25,000 --> 00:42:27,560 Well, I'm glad you don't see it as just rambling. 690 00:42:27,560 --> 00:42:30,520 No, it's not rambling at all. 691 00:42:30,520 --> 00:42:35,960 Sometimes yeah, but most of the time I do enjoy it and learn from it. 692 00:42:35,960 --> 00:42:40,480 And yeah, thank you, Nan, for sticking around and the listeners for sticking around and 693 00:42:40,480 --> 00:42:45,000 we'll see you next Wednesday at 4 a.m. AESC time. 694 00:42:45,000 --> 00:42:49,080 In the meantime, if you want to check us out, our Instagram handle is the Y in your 20s 695 00:42:49,080 --> 00:42:50,080 podcast. 696 00:42:50,080 --> 00:42:52,480 Thank you for listening and we'll see you next week. 697 00:42:52,480 --> 00:43:11,540 Bye!