Welcome to our podcast, The Why in your 20s.
My name is Viv and I'm Nat.
We are two counselors in our mid-20s navigating our adderhood away from our home country,
exploring the why questions we encounter relating to relationships, identities and uncertainties.
So whether you're listening to our podcast while going for your walk or doing rituals,
or just reading, welcome on board and let the journey begin.
Welcome, welcome, welcome.
Welcome to our first episode of The Why in your 20s.
First episode.
Yay.
How exciting that is.
How are you feeling Viv?
Very excited for our first episode.
Um, yeah, just very excited.
Excited that it's actually happening.
Yeah right.
It's so surreal.
Crazy.
It is.
So what will be our first topic for this podcast?
We're talking about being an adult.
So being an adult is usually associated with, you know, being 18 for most countries.
So yeah, do you actually remember what you first did when you turned 18?
I'm not sure.
I think I turned 18 while I'm still having the public exam, the HKDSE in Hong Kong.
So I'm still struggling the last bit of studying and didn't really feel anything different.
I think the society make a huge deal on, you know, turning 18 and finally an adult.
But for me personally, I didn't feel much at that moment.
Because you were busy studying.
You didn't realize it was 18 or?
I do realize it's just how sad.
Because I remember it's few days later is the last subjects.
And I'm like, oh, I wish I finished everything on my birthday.
It's just, it's not like it's 12 a.m. and I feel like, oh, I'm suddenly an adult.
No.
You didn't feel like you were an adult when you, when there was 1201?
No, not at all.
Maybe like 12 or 3 then I'm like, oh, maybe I'm an adult now.
Wow, that's tremendous now.
Yeah, but honestly, that's not much feeling to me like turning 18 at that moment.
Yeah, I think I agree.
Turning 18, it wasn't, it didn't feel like a big deal.
I think personally for me, it was similar.
I wasn't, I wasn't going through like the Hong Kong DSE, the public examination.
But I think it was more like it was just another birthday.
It wasn't really a big thing.
Like I know people have big parties on 18th or 21 or like those important, important birthdays.
Yeah.
Personally, not really.
Like I don't think I felt anything different.
Yeah, I think I agree with you.
It's just another birthday.
Might have an extra layer on top because, you know, it's 18 and the society makes it
a huge deal.
That 18, oh, you're finally legal, you can do certain things, buy certain things that
you cannot do when you're like below 18.
Yeah.
So what is the first thing that you did when you turned 18?
I think not memorable, but like it was a very normal birthday.
So I think I just went out with my, with my family.
I just had a picture.
But other than that, I don't think I did anything too memorable.
Yeah.
I think society or even like my own friend circle, circle group, they put a lot of emphasis
on being 18.
Most of them had like big birthday parties.
And at the time I was like, I felt weird just pretending it's a normal birthday.
So do you do anything particular to makes it different or it's just a feeling that you
have?
It's just a feeling that I had.
I think it's just a feeling that like the society puts an expectation of turning 18.
You want to have fun, like quote, quote, have fun.
Yeah.
And just enjoy yourself like that.
The day is yours kind of thing.
You can do whatever you want.
Like, yeah.
That's interesting.
Did you do anything that was a bit more memorable than other than studying?
Unfortunately, no.
Yeah.
I think, I think most of us don't actually feel that much of a difference, especially
with our experience.
Yeah.
But I think there's certain things that I need to do that makes it feel more real.
For example, I don't know if my memory is wrong or not, but I remember I need to get
a new ID card.
Oh yeah.
And of course buying alcohol for the first time without adult supervision.
Yeah.
I know a lot of people are mad driving or like getting a license is one of the big things.
Yeah.
But honestly in Hong Kong, driving is not a big thing.
So that's not what everyone will do when they turn 18.
But I know a lot of people, they did get their license once they turn 18.
That is very true.
I think a lot of countries, like whether they're 16, 18 or whatever age they are, like if you
get your license, you become more independent.
So that's when they feel more like an adult.
But I think yeah.
When we were doing some research, we came across the term emerging adulthood and the
term is coined by Jeffrey Jensen Arnett.
And they studied this age group of 20 something around our age and they realized the main
transitional events, like the main themes that they go through that they feel like they're
more of an adult.
There are different events which I'm going to go through.
And the first one is leaving home and moving countries.
The second is starting university.
And next is finding employment and developing a career path.
I think that's what we're going through at the moment, Nat and I.
Pursuing romantic relationships and getting married, starting your own family.
I think for this, even our common friends are getting married, starting their own family.
And it's just they're almost the same age as us, but they're going through such a different
stage in their life.
It's kind of weird.
It's so weird.
Like I have some friends already get married and have kids.
And I know we shouldn't compare in this way, but there's an invisible timeline or comparison
out there feeling, oh, I'm behind.
But we can talk about that later.
And the last one is exploring religious beliefs.
And that means these events are mostly experienced by twenties.
And obviously it could happen later or earlier in your life, but this is just the average
group.
Yeah.
And I think that's what we briefly talked before.
It's like a milestone.
Like there's certain things that you did and makes you feel a bit more adult-y.
Is there, the list that you just mentioned, is there something you click with?
Yeah, I think like what I have went through and going through, it's the first three, it's
leaving home and moving countries and starting university.
And also what we're experiencing now, like finding a job.
And I think these three is more of what I can share my experience with.
So I actually remember the time when I had to leave Hong Kong and come to Australia,
to Brisbane to start my bachelor degree.
And honestly, the first day, it was a very hectic day.
It's just because the day before I had to come here, I received an email from my student
accommodation.
They didn't pass the fire inspection.
And when I got the email, I was kind of panicking inside.
I couldn't show it.
Yeah, I was panicking and I'm like, I don't know what to do because I won't be able to
have a place to live.
Yeah, so then I was panicking.
So I emailed them back like saying, what should I do now?
And they didn't reply me because I have to leave the day after that.
I'm like, oh, I don't know what to do.
And I didn't want to trouble my parents because I feel like I should be handling this myself.
What makes you think that?
I think I just didn't want to worry them because if I told them that and I didn't have a solution,
then they will worry that I don't have a place to live.
I think same as my worry as well.
But they would be more worried because they are my parents, right?
Yeah.
So then I just didn't tell them and I just came because I transferred in Singapore.
So when I went to Singapore, I checked my email and they didn't respond.
And the moment I arrived in Brisbane, I checked my email again.
Luckily, there was an email telling me that, okay, you can stay in these few places.
So it's like service apartments in the city is very close to QUT as well.
But they told me to go directly to the student accommodation still.
They will help me organize stuff and stuff like that.
But I was a bit worried because I didn't know where I'm actually going to stay, right?
Yeah, it's like a whole new country, a whole new experience.
And the one thing that you're certain previously is where you stay.
And now that's become uncertainty as well.
Yeah.
That must be scary.
I think at the moment, I was like, okay, it doesn't matter.
Okay, I feel like I'm very blessed.
It's like, it doesn't matter if I don't have a place to live because I have my dad's credit
card and I have my passport.
I think these were the main things that I knew I had.
No matter what happens, I would still have a place to live.
And I'm very blessed in that aspect.
So yes, I was very worried about all the uncertainties, but there was still a last resort that I
can hang on to.
Yeah.
So there was still a lot of uncertainty and there's nothing much I can do anyway.
So I still, like there was free transportation from my provider from the uni, like from the
airport to the student accommodation.
So I just got on, like there wasn't much I can do anyways.
So I arrived and they told me, okay, you're going to stay at this service apartment.
It was Oaks on Charlotte.
Wow.
That must be so hectic that you remember very precisely.
Yeah.
And it was, no, honestly, it was a very nice service apartment.
I had like my, I had my own room and extra one, two rooms in total and a living room.
It was more than enough because I was living by myself.
Yeah.
But yeah, it was just the whole experience itself.
It was very, I don't even know how to describe it.
It was just very overwhelming at the moment.
No, but now looking back, I should have, I think it was so overwhelming that I had to
be very solution focused or else there's nothing, like I can't handle it.
Yeah.
I guess, as I said, there's a lot of uncertainty in a new country and a new environment.
And it's very different from, I would assume what you experienced in high school where
it's very routine wise.
Everything is very structured.
You know what to expect in the next moment.
So that's not much surprises or like uncertainty back then.
But once you get into a new country, everything is so new that anything can happen and that
makes it more overwhelming.
Yeah.
I think it's just a lot of surprises.
Yeah, you're right.
It's a lot of surprises that you, you didn't know you had to deal with.
Yeah.
And I think at that moment when I settled in the new, like the service apartment, that's
when I felt like, oh, okay, maybe, maybe this is what adult thing is.
Maybe this is what I'm supposed to do.
Being adult, this responding to different crisis.
Yeah.
And it's very interesting when you said you feel like you should not let your parents
know because I actually feel the same way.
I don't know if it's immediately after I turned 18, but it's a change that I realized myself
in my early adulthood that a lot of things I would ask my parents when I was young, I
would prefer to do it on my own and find a solution on my own first.
And I know I'm very privileged and protected that my parents are very supportive.
So if I have any question, I can go to them.
But once I turned 18, I tend to, as you said, like manage those crisis situation on my own,
even though I know they have, I have them to back me up, but you still choose to be
more independent and handle on your own.
That's interesting because you said it only, you only realized it in your twenties, right?
Yeah.
I think now looking back, once I moved to another country, one thing is I don't like
texting.
So I wouldn't take the initiative to ask or call my parents for help.
As if you're at home, you're in person, it's easier to say out.
So I don't know if that's contributed to that change, but that's what I slowly realized
when I turned 18 and moving into my twenties, that I'm a bit more independent and I will
try to resolve those crisis situation on my own.
Well, yeah, I think it definitely played a role in like leaving home and moving countries
that push you to be more independent because that's what we have to do.
Yes, to survive.
Yeah, to survive.
And were there any moments like that for you where you feel like, oh, maybe this is what
adult thing is, or maybe this is what adulthood is like?
I think my experience is very different from you in terms of moving countries, because
I have my parents with me at the time, so it's definitely less overwhelming than yours.
But I do realize some moments that I feel a bit more adult is cleaning the bathroom.
I feel so ashamed to share this, but I also realized a lot of people didn't know how to
clean the bathroom.
And again, I'm very privileged and protected that I never need to do household chores,
simple things like cleaning the table that I still do.
But like cleaning the bathroom, I barely help my mom.
One is because she has very high standard of cleanliness.
My mom didn't hear this.
And I wouldn't allow her to go into kitchen because she's like, oh, don't mess up my kitchen,
whatever.
But yes, I'm very protected and I can focus on my study and don't have to worry about
household chores.
But once you move to a new country, you realize a lot of things you need to do on your own.
It's not something your parents will help you to do.
One of the things is cleaning the bathroom.
And you thought it would be very easy.
But I think at that moment, I'm like, why do I still need to Google how to clean a bathroom?
And I think that's the moment I feel like, wow, that's adulthood responsibility.
Like, I'm being so dramatic here.
Cleaning the bathroom and knowing what solution or what to buy to clean the bathroom.
Yeah.
So it's more about the little things that you actually have to do that you didn't even
realize that you had to pay attention to.
Because at home, like your mom would do most of the chores, clean and everything.
But then now that you're here, you realize, oh, you realize that you have to do a lot
of the household chores that you didn't extremely aware of.
Yeah.
I'm like a princess when I'm at home.
I don't need to do anything.
Especially I'm very surprised as well, because in college, we have undergraduate and postgraduate
can be like 26, 27 that they, I don't know, they first moved to Australia as well.
So during COVID time, because of safety reasons, the housekeeper won't go into our room to
clean our bathroom.
And I got a lot of people asking how to clean a bathroom.
Even they are like 26, 27 that you thought, you know, the age would be very adult that
you would, I would assume you know everything.
But I think it's, it's not like when you turn 20 and then you start doing, I think what
makes it different for me is because I move country that I stay away from my parents that
I start learning this thing.
And I'm sure there's people that still stay with their parents when they're 26, 27 and
that's okay.
Everyone goes on a different pace according to the experience anyway.
I think it's like certain milestone or as you said, transitional events that push us
to be more adult.
Yeah, definitely.
I think these adult responsibilities does push us to be more independent, especially
when you leave home earlier, it pushes you to like, quote unquote grow up faster.
Yeah, that's right.
It's more like in the 20s.
It's not like a specific age.
As we said, like it's not like when you turned 18, you're an adult.
When you turn 20, you're an adult.
It's more about the experience and it's like a continuous journey, I think.
Yeah, absolutely.
And again, as we already mentioned previously that it's okay that you experience things
that we shared later in your adulthood and it's different from us.
Whereas we have some experience that we have never encountered before that we wouldn't
be able to share our experience as well.
So I think it's a continuous journey and that's what makes our podcast very different or special.
Because I know a lot of podcasts, they share the experience once they turn 30s and then
they share back on lesson they learned in the 20s.
You know, like those 10 things I wish I know before or the five things you should know
before you turn 20, something like that.
And what our podcast is to share our journey and we are going through all these things
with you as well.
So we are definitely no expert in adulthood.
We just enrolled in the course.
We are exploring and going through with you guys.
Yeah, I think that makes our podcast a bit different that we are still struggling with
it.
We're still going through that journey.
It's just sharing our experience will help broaden that perspective and honestly the
other podcasts, like those lessons that we've learned, it's very helpful.
It's very helpful.
It's just a different topic.
I think it's a different approach.
Yeah, I personally really love those videos or podcasts as well.
It's very concise and it's like a crash course.
Yeah I think we mainly, that was a very, honestly I think it's a big tangent from adulting,
but like we focus more about the adult responsibilities like cleaning your bathroom or like moving,
like finding an accommodation and all that.
Like were there any other aspects, let's say for example, any questions relating to identity
that started to appear more or like something like that or like honestly more on the mental
side?
Yeah, I think there's certain some moments that I realized I'm more an adult, not just
tangible tasks that we mentioned, but more like mental side for say figuring out who
am I.
I don't know if that's a common experience that people encounter when they reach adulthood
or it's just because my personality.
But when I first moved to college, I've made a lot of friends because there's a lot of
people and it's just very convenient to make new friends.
But then I think in deep, I slowly realized I long for that deep connection that I used
to have back in high school.
And that made me reflect on what kind of friendship I want to have.
And I think before figuring out that I need to know who am I first and what I like and
what I dislike in order to figure out what kind of people I want to hang out with.
So I do feel a bit lost in my early 20s to figure out who am I and what kind of person
I want to be, if that makes sense.
Yeah, I definitely agree that these questions does start like at least for me as well that
it started in university.
I don't know if it came the same way as you did because for you, it's more about the asking
the questions of who I am because you want to know yourself more in order to know what
you want, what you like, what you dislike.
But I think mine was a bit different because it started to surface when I started to talking
to new people in university.
For example, these very surface questions of like, what's your name, what do you study,
where you're from, and just very basic questions.
But at the same time, it's a necessary process when you meet someone new, right?
But I think for me, it's more like I go a bit deeper in seeing like, if it's my name,
is that who I am?
Like for say, I use my Chinese name or my English name, which one do I use?
Or what do I study?
Is marketing really something that I want to pursue as a career?
Or like where I'm from?
Am I representing where I'm from?
Or am I like a completely different person if I'm here?
So I think all these questions kind of surface.
And honestly, even for like, for orientation week, there's a lot of icebreak questions.
Like, what's your favorite color?
What's your favorite movie?
What's your favorite food?
And all these preferences, I never knew I needed to have or honestly needed to think
about because back home is more about other people choosing for you.
At home, my mom will cook for me.
When we go out, people will decide for me and all these.
So I never have to think for myself.
That actually makes sense.
Like you need to make more decision on your own that reflects on you wondering what kind
of person you are.
And I don't know if that's explained what happens to you, but because it's a new environment
and there's a lot of changes, maybe at home, you are not that conscious about your preferences.
And once you meet new people and all these questions and ice breaking questions that
make you reflect as well.
Yeah, I agree because I didn't have to think about it and the preference do change.
I think for me, I'm still figuring that out.
Like whenever people still ask me like nowadays, like what's your favorite food?
What's your favorite color?
Honestly, I randomly say stuff.
Like I honestly, every time, every time my answers change because I don't really have
a favorite color.
I don't have a favorite food.
I sometimes I say rice, but honestly, I don't like rice.
It's not like you don't care, but like you're very carefree that you don't mind any options
or you just simply can't think of one.
I just don't mind it.
Like who cares about your favorite color?
I'm still going to wear different colors every time, right?
Well, you wear black all the time.
Yeah, so honestly, most of the time I say black, but then when I wear something like
for example, if I wear pink, someone will ask me, oh, so do you like pink?
I'm like, okay, yeah, sure.
I like pink.
Like honestly, I don't mind any color.
It's just for me, black is more useful because you can wear it whenever you want.
Like it doesn't matter what day it is or what else you're wearing.
Black is always okay.
So I would assume like color, it doesn't really matter to you.
What's your favorite?
Yeah, it really doesn't.
Yeah, but I think like nowadays people still ask you, at least people still ask me and
I'm like, okay, black, yellow, red, pink, blue.
But you definitely have some for say favorite cuisine or like favorite restaurant.
Do you have any of those?
No, I think just recently someone asked me, oh, what's your favorite cuisine?
And I just randomly said Japanese and I don't mind it.
I like it.
To be fair, I don't actually eat it often.
What about on your, for say it's your birthday and you got to choose what restaurant you
go, what will you choose that you have to choose?
Like you can't say I don't care.
No, last time recently I chose, but it wasn't based on the cuisine.
It was based on the environment that I think most people would enjoy it.
So my own preference, honestly, it didn't occur to me to put into consideration because
it's going to make it harder because I don't really have a preference.
But anyways, that's changing, right?
As you said, the changes you grow older.
Yeah.
So how do you define, you know, who you are, like, what are the things that you know?
Yes, this is fit.
When you say this, it can link to fit.
I'm thinking it's not, I'm ignoring you.
No, I know.
Okay.
It's a hard question after I ask it.
No, I have, but I think there are a lot of identities I hold dearly to.
For example, being a daughter.
Yeah.
Being a sister, being a Christian, being, I mean, no, I think being a friend.
Sorry, I put it quite low.
I have no judgement here.
No, but I think these are the main things.
Like family, Christianity and friends, these are the most important thing to me.
So I think the identities relating to that, it's the most important thing to me.
And the others, it is just there.
And I think I came to the realization when like a year or two years ago, that's when
I feel like, that's when I realized those identity will keep changing.
Like liking a colour, liking a food, being a student, being a counselor or whatever,
it will just keep changing.
But these identities that I hold dearly to, it never changes.
You said the same thing as what one of my clients said.
Oh.
What did your client say?
Because I was, well, I wouldn't disclose too much because of confidentiality, but we are
doing an exercise around identity.
And I asked the person, that's four bubbles on the paper, write down who you are.
And because that person is on a spectrum, so it's a lot of black and white thinking.
So I was trying to show some example on what, who am I?
So I said, I'm a counselor, so counselor is one of my identity.
And the person said, no, counseling is what you do.
It's not who you are.
It's not your identity.
And I'm like, wow.
Like, and that's the beauty of being a counselor.
You learn, it's not only the client learn from you, but you learned a lot from your
client as well.
And I was just kind of shocked when you said the same thing as well, that my job can change.
Yeah.
But there's certain things of who you are that cannot change.
And I think that's that part I'm still figuring out.
Yeah.
And I think that's the beauty of the whole podcast itself.
We're still going through it and we're still finding our own identity.
Like, even though like these other things, like counseling and like your job and other
stuff will keep changing.
And I'm still figuring that out.
It's the journey that we're going through together that makes it more interesting, I
think.
Definitely.
And identity is such an interesting thing.
Hey, it is.
It's honestly, it leads to even more questions.
Yeah.
Always.
Yeah.
So what will you do when like all these questions surface?
I think for me, it comes all together, right?
Like for me, at least for me, and I just have to remind myself to tackle it one by one,
because if I tackle it all together, it's just very overwhelming and I don't know where
to start.
And I'm being very illogical.
Yeah.
So that's what I usually do try to be more, honestly, be more patient with myself.
Just it's okay to tackle it one by one.
And even tackling it one by one, it's okay to not have answers.
It's just being able to explore more on that question.
Or more answers that I may come up with.
And sometimes I just avoid it completely, honestly.
It's very exhausting to keep asking these questions and answering them.
So I do avoid them as well.
Yeah.
It's like big questions.
It's not like, what's your favorite color?
That is a big question.
For years.
Yeah.
Definitely.
I agree.
I'm very curious and have the patience to tackle or like explore the questions one by
one.
Yeah.
I actually did the opposite in my early adulthood.
You know, I'm a person that thinks a lot and I can dwell into all these big questions
kind of, you know, jump into the rabbit hole and can't get out.
It's just, honestly, at some point I just keep talking to myself and trying to figure
out what makes sense of my thoughts.
At first I thought I'm like crazy that I'm talking to myself to the wall.
But I think it's really helpful for me to make sense of my thoughts instead of just
rambling.
Well, maybe that's rambling, but it works for me.
I want to do it anyway.
And I think that's what I agree with what you said.
It's very important to have that patience and you don't need to find all those questions
in one day.
You can have all the time you got in your life to figuring it out.
Even if that means in your thirties, forties, or like even later onwards, that's okay as
well.
Because like twenties is definitely an age full of uncertainties as what our bio said.
A lot of uncertainties, a lot of exploration, a lot of changes, a lot of ambivalence around
oh, do I like this?
Do I like that?
So I think it's okay to focus on yourself a bit more to have that curiosity and embrace
what you are feeling and experiencing.
Oh, and I recently saw an analogy, right?
If people don't know, I love analogy or metaphors and it's just things that can visualize the
thoughts is just how beautiful it is.
Do you agree with it?
You have to.
I feel like I'm put on a spot.
I'm just trying to encourage people around me to love metaphor and analogy.
Anyway, I recently saw that illustration about furniture.
You know, when we first moved to uni or like college, you don't really need to buy furniture
because the college or the dorm will provide it to you.
So you don't own all those things.
Once you move out of college, you start to find your own place, right?
And it's very overwhelming because you're like, oh my gosh, I need to buy furniture.
I need to paint this and decide what to get.
And it's very overwhelming, but it doesn't have to.
You can move to a furnished place first and slowly accumulate furniture that you have.
And you don't have to buy brand new furniture to begin with.
You can get secondhand or go to marketplace.
I love go to marketplace to look for furniture.
Some of them are free.
Some of them are like really cheap.
And I'm not ashamed of saying this because that's what I can afford now.
And that makes the whole experience of moving out less overwhelming because you're not jumping
from zero to a hundred, but it's zero to ten, ten to twelve, twenty.
And moving forward, once you got more experience, once you got more furniture, then you can
move to an unfurnished place and then moving forward, you can build your own house, build
your own furniture.
So I think that's a very beautiful way to visualize how we approach adulthood as well.
You don't need to go to a hundred immediately, but take your time and do it step by step.
How nice, I love it.
Do you agree?
It is.
I think it's very important energy to remind us that really take your time and recognizing
how much, let's say skills or things that you have accumulated throughout your past
experiences and just the time that you have lived on earth that you do have stuff that
you have learned and remembering it will help you utilize those things that you have learned
to process the things that you're going through or even coping with the things that you're
going through at the moment.
Yeah, it's like playing games you're like leveling up every day.
Another metaphor.
Yeah, great.
Yeah, that's actually that's kind of cute.
Yeah, well, I don't play computer games, but it's just no, I don't either, but it's kind
of cute.
It's Mario.
Oh, that's cute.
Okay, that's cute.
Yeah, yeah, we don't play games, obviously.
That's why I think of Mario.
But anyways, I think that's a great analogy and it's that similar on how you would approach
adulthood.
Yeah, I think it's just don't rush.
You got all the time you have.
Take it one day at a time.
Don't overwhelm yourself and don't be too hard on yourself if you can't figure out those
answers.
It's okay to feel lost because when you're figuring out there's more possibilities as
well.
Yeah, just stay open.
Don't rush.
Be nice to yourself.
I think that's how my current approach to adulthood.
What about you?
I think it's definitely spot on.
It's like don't rush.
Be patient with yourself.
I think the only thing that I would add is being more childlike is keeping that curiosity
in exploring different things and also just having that childlike heart where, for example,
what makes you happy, honestly?
For me personally, during summer, I love stepping on the crunchy leaves.
I think it just brings me back to my childhood, being very happy, very innocent.
These little things make me happy.
It's very important to keep these little happy moments in your life because it matters.
It adds up and it matters in your life.
If you want to run in the rain, go for it.
It's honestly perfect season.
It's going to rain soon.
Yeah.
Why not just run in the rain or if you want to jump into puddles?
Well, actually that's not very safe, but just do what makes you feel happy because these
little moments really, really matter.
It helps you manage adulthood better.
Yeah.
I agree because we are talking about emerging adulthood, but that doesn't mean we cannot
be childlike.
I remember a story because I was currently volunteering working with kids.
One time we were having afternoon tea and we are teaching the kids, you got to try new
things.
You got to be curious and try a piece of fruit, try the grape or blueberries because a lot
of kids are like, yuck, fruit, ew.
We encouraged them to have a piece of fruit first before you can have biscuits.
And towards the end, when we're cleaning up, there's fruits left over and one of the co-workers
asked me, do you want a piece of fruit, Matt?
Because there's leftover or else we're going to throw it away.
But I was quite full at that time.
So I'm like, oh no, I'm okay.
And I think one of the kids heard it and she came over and said, Matt, you need to try
new things.
Yeah.
And I find, oh, that's very cute, but also very true that I need to try new things.
Because that's what we teach the kids.
So I took a grape and then walk away.
But I just reflect on this story and I'm like, yes, like a lot of times we forgot how to
be childlike and we rush to be an adult.
That's why when you said that, I resonate with it because I'm like, oh my gosh, this
is something I need to learn because I forgot how to be a child again.
Did you end up liking the grape?
It's okay.
Yeah.
But I think definitely it's not about you liking it, liking the grape or not.
It's more about having that curiosity to try again.
Yeah.
Because sometimes when we don't like things when we are a kid, things might change when
you reach adulthood and we just need to unlearn and rewire your belief and thoughts.
I think that's very important.
It's actually one of the, I don't know if it's a quote or a slogan for the University
of Sydney.
I don't know if it's still true or not.
It's like we learn to unlearn.
Wow.
Okay.
And then when I was like young, like 18, 19, me and my friends still love it.
Like we don't get the meaning of it.
We're like, why do you need to unlearn?
Ha ha ha.
I think now I get it, a lot of things you need to unlearn and be curious and adventurous,
create a new belief that you might not have when you were a kid.
So yes, learn to unlearn.
That's very true.
It's easier said than done.
It's very hard to unlearn the things that we have learned.
Yeah, obviously.
Yes.
It's a very good approach as well, I think.
Yeah.
So that's a very good approach as well.
And today we mainly talked about emerging adulthood and there are six main transitional
events that we went through and we kind of went through some of the experiences that
we've gone through as for example, turning 18 or moments that we realized that we're
no longer a kid anymore, more like a mentor.
And also these questions, these identity questions that we go through and also try to answer
them on our own.
But at the same time, we realized that more questions do emerge from it.
Yeah.
Mainly the approach that we have is being curious, embracing it, being childlike and
be patient with ourselves.
Don't rush because we have our entire life to be an adult.
And that's what we went through today.
And if there are some questions that you want to go through yourself or reflect on, go for
it.
And if you want to share with a friend, why not?
It's always good to share that perspective of things and honestly just do what Nan are
doing at the moment.
Yeah.
I personally really enjoy our conversation because you and I are very similar but also
different that it's so interesting to hear your perspective as well.
Definitely.
I enjoy our conversation every time.
I think I learn something new every time.
Well, I'm glad you don't see it as just rambling.
No, it's not rambling at all.
Sometimes yeah, but most of the time I do enjoy it and learn from it.
And yeah, thank you, Nan, for sticking around and the listeners for sticking around and
we'll see you next Wednesday at 4 a.m. AESC time.
In the meantime, if you want to check us out, our Instagram handle is the Y in your 20s
podcast.
Thank you for listening and we'll see you next week.
Bye!