Hello my dear listeners and human listeners. I am Fletcher coming at you
from the future because we ran into some issues and there is no intro and there
is no explanation to what game we are playing. So I just want to let you know that
we are playing Tony Hawk's Downhill Jam. We are PocketGast and Happy Holidays.
Thanks for listening. Enjoy. Reverberation. Okay. Another sound effect. Oh. Not named after a person. I was like, amplification. Okay.
But like, I hear you're upset and I believe it or not I understand why but
what you are you're just describing the nature of what our reality presently is.
There are some things that are named after people and some of them aren't. Let me be mad.
Well you want to get super technical and like start looking at like the
anemology of words. Everything traces back to another word. Words are just
spoken legos. Doppler doesn't. Not in that situation. Not in that context.
It doesn't. No all words. All words do. Not in that context. No all words. All words do.
Sure. Sure. Because Doppler is probably a derivative of doppel right? Which is an
old-timey verb that means to doppel. That's something that you could do to
someone or something. With a shoe. You could doppel them but yeah well of course it's a shoe.
Specifically you had to have a shoe. Well you can't really doppel without a shoe.
I feel like everybody should know that though right? That's common knowledge.
You need a shoe to doppel. This is what it's like reading like an old like philosophy book.
This is where it's just like everything is just assumed that you know what the fuck we were talking about
but it's just madness. Dude what's the uh is it a faux pas to talk about other podcasts on a podcast?
I don't know what a faux pas is. A faux pas? It'd be fuck. It's like a fake pas. No a faux pas would be like a non classy
maybe not a bad thing per se but like a standard. It doesn't look good. Jesus why can't I think of another good
like word or term for a faux pas? Cringey? No like it's like a social no no. A cringe. I mean potentially
like you're not breaking any laws you're not necessarily looking bad it's just like oh I wouldn't
have done that maybe. Cringe? No it'd be like something that's impolite or it's it's a social no no.
That's a pretty good way to pretty cringe. I mean they can be characteristically but cringe is is cringe
is an adjective not a noun fuck. Yeah but the thing about adjectives is that they can also be nouns.
Not all of them. You can't have cringe a cringe you can have the existence of cringe. Yep.
Man fuck this conversation. Thus it's a noun word boy.
I hate language. Get fucked. No fuck you. Can we talk about other podcasts or not? I mean I
I think it's kind of cringe but I also don't I think it's not that bad. Holy fuck you just
because you call I'm gonna so it was sleep with me podcast? Yeah fuck yeah dude shout out to sleep
with me dude. The greatest podcast ever created. I fucking love that show. It's the nicest thing any
human being has ever done for other human beings. Dude and I I'm not talking shit about this this
man and I cannot for the life of me remember his name. Scooter? Is it? I believe it's Scooter. I bet
it is dude but I hear that man's voice in my dreams dude and I'm gonna be honest not a great
sounding voice. Dude that dude has that he gave me the inspiration to start a podcast. Honestly I
was like I like I remember the first time I heard it and dude every time somebody has said hey you
should check out this podcast. I'm like it's a weird concept. Yeah yeah but like just commit
like I've never had somebody try to sell me on a fucking podcast so hard. It probably was dude but
then I do the same thing I'm like hey check out this podcast but like really like I'll text you
before you go to bed like for the next week and remind you and you need to you actually have to
do it you can't not do it and then after a week everybody's hooked it's like a weird cult but like
this man's voice dude it's so unique. I was gonna say unique is perfect there's so much character
in there it's not your typical production voice if you will. No and the tonal changes. I love it dude.
He has such a great voice honestly like I know I sounded like I was about to. Are you fucking kidding me?
So we're gonna get to our first sponsored ad here. I'm selling my cat.
I'm selling a cat. He's a pain in the ass. He's pretty cute. He loves to be affectionate.
To an abusive point. Dude it's brutal. Yeah I know he loves to do the love bites but he like
loves to bite my love handles. No I meant like he's like mentally abusive too like if you're not
loving me like he just knocks your laptop on the ground. Yeah hey Jack hey fuck you bro.
He looks so content now. What a little shit dude. He's like he didn't even want to be up there. He
just did the cat equivalent of a burnout on top of a stack of shit that I had very meticulously
and not precariously stacked on this little fucking table thing. You're right. You are right.
It was a nice stack. And he just burned out on him with his little fucking power legs. Just kicked him off.
So yeah the point that I was making earlier stands and I think it's a pretty valid point
and I think everyone else should agree with me that his voice is pretty incredible.
Yeah yeah yeah. I stalled long enough. And I was going and I brought that up specifically
to talk about my other far-reaching point that we're now circling back to that I definitely also
remember which was it's just a good podcast and I really felt like shouting it out apparently.
You just really felt like shouting out. No there was a reason. There was a time back. I'm glad you
did because I absolutely love it. Just dying. It's funny because 10 minutes ago I actually thought
about I was like I'm gonna I'm gonna shout this other podcast out and I was like nah that would
be too cringe. Fuck you Fletcher. And then suddenly I just felt compelled to mention this other
podcast and then not remember why. But it had something to do with Tony Hawk's
downhill. Downhill Jam. Is it just downhill jam? I thought that was another word in there.
Yeah. Was that enough words? Tony Hawk's downhill jam. Yeah. Is it Pro Skater? It's not Pro Skater.
I don't think this is Pro Skater. No because it's like a different series. Yeah series but
what was the what was the term that you had for the categories or the different events as they
were called for like the Monster Jam shit? Like Monster Trucks? Like Monster Jam was one of these
like a circuit or something but it wasn't circuit. Tour. Oh is that what? Yeah because it was Monster
Jam. Something tour. I was thinking there was a different word for it but. Urban Tour or something
like that. Oh Urban Assault? Urban Assault. That was the game we played. Yeah and then there were
tours in it or something like that. No we were talking about like Monster Jam is one of these.
It's like an entity or like a specific series of events but there are other Monster Truck
events that go by other names. Monster Jam is just one of them. Yes. Or I thought that was the point
you were making. I also clearly could have missed it entirely. I don't know man. You've bossed me
so I'm gonna say that you lost it too. Man I really need you to be in my wavelength if I'm gonna make
these like half-assed attempts to reference things that I don't remember very well.
You're giving me a really vague description of something that you didn't actually say. I think I
I think I might be an emotional leech to my peers. It's more of a it's not emotion as much as there's
like intelligence. Oh I resent that. I'm a smart cookie. You represent that. I represent that.
That's not right. No I don't represent it. I don't represent it at all.
I'm not a skateboarder and then I've accepted it at this point that I never will be. I would like to
think that I'm accepting now as not a skateboarder. See again I still like if people are like hey you
know anybody that skates? I'm like yeah fucking Fletcher will blow his knee out on the sidewalk
any day. Yeah absolutely like I will fuck myself up but also I think I can barely kick flip. I don't
like I'm not one of those people that's like oh I can still kick flip. I could never kick flip. I
started being able to kick flip after I quit skating. I don't even know what a kick flip is
so you're ahead of me. Don't lie to me. I assume it involves kicking and flipping but I couldn't
tell you I couldn't like if a guy is on a skateboard. If you're playing the game be left.
Is it be that or is it? No so the names of the moves mean nothing to me. I just know that if I
hit a button in a directional input I do a trick. If you go left with that move you're
doing a flip trick. With that when you're doing a flip trick because there's two buttons. One's
for flip and one's for grab. Right. If you do the flip trick and you push to the left that's the
kick flip. When it how do I say this? Oh is that the one where you pop the front the nose up right?
The nose is that the front? Well I mean the nose pops off the ground. Well right right right and then
and then you kind of swing your forward foot and like sweep the bottom and so then it it rotates
inside once horizontally. Yes. And then you land it. Yes. I know what a kick flip is. There you go.
Yeah and then the other way is a pop shove it nollie. Pop shove it nollie. Yeah into nose
grind tail flip. What about it? Are those my saying words that make sense? Say the second but the
first part made sense. Bro I flew I flew through that so fast I wasn't taking notes. I don't know
I shove it you did. I said I said a pop shove it nollie into a nose grind tail flip. Um everything
but tail flip is. Ah damn that sounds good though to the uninitiated. That was almost a claw deep
into my arm. I saw I don't know what he was grabbing onto because that is not. He got onto my sweater.
He saw my sweater. The holes of my sweater. Oh. What are you singing? Is that a real song?
Yeah dude the holes of my sweater or I don't know if that's the name of the song but that's like
the defining line in the song for me. No no recognition to that one. I bet if I played it
you'd be like oh yeah I know that song. Speaking of what's the music in this game. Fire. Phenomenal.
Yeah actually really good. Again putting to shame a lot of these other titles that are like
because sometimes you just forget that it can do these things and so then you get these titles that
just are just weeping into a shitty pickup and they're like yeah that's our that's our soundtrack
and then you've got like hey we've got fully licensed music and it's it's kick ass. Yeah these
are real bands playing real songs. You can hear the words they are saying. Yeah no it's either why
you know it reminds me the like the first time I loaded up oh dear goodness it was it's the game
where we're solving puzzles and Professor Layton yes and the Curious Village and they've got like
full dub. I was like you can do human voice what? Holy shit. Yeah why is anyone doing this? Yeah I
wonder if there's just like some crazy production overhead or something to incorporate that. Yeah I
think that there was definitely a way less money going into making these games than what they were
on the other things that they were people are working on you know because I think you could
absolutely have a almost fully voiced game maybe not fully but because you gotta think about how
much room it takes up on that little cart. Yeah I'd have to yeah and I you're probably especially
yeah with a handheld title you're probably wanting to reuse as many of the same assets as possible
cut down your file size and stuff. I mean all that shit's pretty compressed anyway but yeah I don't
know again this is where my technical knowledge of the platform fails considerably but even still
they got they crammed a buttload of delicious goodies into this game. I was actually quite
impressed. Well and it didn't take a hit well it did take a hit because I say it didn't take a hit
visually because the graphics are still. No it honestly looked pretty good yeah. But then you
get into the FPS issue. Yeah the performance I was not expecting competitive like racing I expected
downhill something I expected very arcadey not really indicative of your kind of button I'm
gonna use button mashing lightly because you're not necessarily button mashing but you are slamming
combos in there in pretty quick succession like it's a it's a Tony Hawk game simplified down a
little bit yeah but even still like there's there's quite a bit to unpack in there and I was I was
definitely impressed by that but but then when you're when you're racing against because if
you're going by yourself or against just one other person it's not bad. No it seems to be pretty okay
but then those like like you have three AI opponents yeah Jesus. Trying to do a Burt Sled around a
corner when there's three other people doing the same thing. No it just slows down. Oh yeah you're
like oh okay and then it just speeds back up again you're like wow yeah okay. Hopefully that works out.
Yeah I'm like well I let go of the buttons two seconds ago. There was the because there's certain
play styles right there's the story mode and then there's the jam mode yeah jam mode is the way to
go. Jam mode is pretty tight. Classic Tony Hawk you'll get this many points do these certain goals and you'll
advance to the next map. That's way more enjoyable. I did enjoy the story mode where it had you doing
different things but so the thing here's how it works is you start out in San Francisco
right and you have the tutorial like they're telling you all the things you got to do and then
you have to complete this entire list to compete against the same chick three times in three
different competitions and you're trying to get her to join your crew by doing this but in before
even getting to those every single thing that you're doing to unlock you know whether it be
do a back flip over the stairs get big air five time or for five seconds worth of time
you know things like that finish first in the race right which is hard when it's lagging so bad but
yeah some of the jeez yeah so with some of those it's fine when they're short but when i've now
played through this map fucking 20 times to be able to get to the next map yeah that was a little
long-winded and so that's where i really like to downhill jam where you could pretty quickly grind
out the next level and see what it had to offer i liked that a lot more yeah i i was surprised
i i don't want to say this because i don't want to get roasted but i was surprised at the difficulty
i initially tried to play it on a mobile emulator and because i was i was kind of expecting some
stylus some touch play no none none at all no um the same skate no but i'm kind of bummed about
it i think it would have been really cool there was some touch in the sense of the menus yeah okay
i was uh so yeah and all of your all your directional input is via the d-pad and so when
it's when you have the physical d-pad where you can just kind of mesh over them or you know you
get to the point where you can hold left and up left down you know you get your your corner inputs
down pretty well and it's pretty comfortable but doing that on a flat screen on a like a relative
d-pad is nearly it's impossible this shit doesn't work and you have to use the l and r buttons and
i can see that being difficult yeah it's it does not translate on no no yeah no but on the on the
ds itself i mean aside from the performance issues when you're doing those you know what four people
races it was honestly pretty like i was i was pretty impressed technically by the game yeah
there was much more going on than i thought it would have i i totally agree with the difficulty
whereas for me the first time i was playing it i was actually doing pretty well i thought the
difficulty was moderate yeah and then i didn't realize you have to save your progress there's
no auto save oh yeah i did that too so then the second time i came in i couldn't do anything
i was losing all the races then it came to do challenging the chick and i couldn't fucking
beat her at anything damn i i was getting my ass kicked too so i'm yeah no no roasting there the
difficulty was because even when it wasn't against a lot of people there was an input lag maybe or
maybe it's due to you not being able to tell how far off the ground you were necessarily something
was off a little bit yeah i i also say this coming from a lot of tony hawk experience yeah and
recently a good amount of tony hawk american wasteland on the ds that's what i can't wait to
get to because yeah they i don't know which one came out first i think that one came out before
this one this one was 2006 i don't know i don't know time wise it might have been around the same
era at the same time i mean but like either way it it helps that it's not flat i mean it's not
downhill and it's open world so you can just cruise around do some tricks pick up a mission
go back around get a feel for some things and it feels 100 like a straight port from that's cool
yeah it this one this one was pretty dumbed down and i haven't played a lot of i've played a couple
of other tony hawk games again i couldn't tell you which ones but um yeah you mostly have what
you can do flips and spins and then you basically hold the spin button and the directional input and
it'll do a type of trick you mean in this game in this yeah in this one yeah yeah yeah no wasn't
no what was it so i mean you're kind of right there's there's grab and there's flip oh grab
and flip yeah l and r in the air would do rotate you so there's you can add that spin adds to your
combo yeah if you're doing a trick you it's directionally based yep right if i'm holding
up and i hold grab i'm going to do a nose grab if i'm holding back and i hold grab i'm gonna do a
tail grab right if i'm holding to the right i'm doing indie that's when you grab the inside of
your board okay um if i push that button that grab button twice it will do like a further extension
of that trick whereas the indian i don't know whether it's called but like instead of just being
it where you're just like keeping your knees crouched and grabbing it you're shooting your
legs out and still grab it onto the board oh you need more air to be able to do those right they
also longer recovery time yeah shit i did not i didn't know that same for the flip tricks kick
flip you can do a double kick flip so it's just your feet will go out a little bit further and
it will spin twice twice oh no shit then you throw your rotating on that and then that adds onto your
combo land that into a manual and then once again directional and you push the manual button while
you're holding that direction yeah and it will switch like a dark slide or something like that
uh what the the dark slide it seemed like it just gave you a speed boost too that's okay
you know a dark slide is i say that like you know that that's when you you're skating along
you go to do like a kick flip uh-huh but you don't really leave the ground and you just flip the
board halfway over so it's upside down you have one foot underneath the front of it oh and one
foot on the back tail of it and you're sliding on your grip tape does a dark slide oh because
your grip tape is black yeah yeah right and they just why would you do that it looks cool as fuck
man my best is cool as fuck yeah because you're not using your wheels you're like your feet aren't
touching the ground still your board is the only thing on the ground you just have so much
momentum that you can just quickly flip it over and then flip back onto your board that's that's
that's crazy that's rodney mullen rodney mullen oh you have to ask who did that no i was gonna ask
wouldn't that fuck up your board oh yeah oh yeah yeah it's definitely have some damage to it but
looks cool you know yeah i mean yeah fuck yeah dude and if you're skating hard enough
often enough you're gonna go through that board anyways how long does a good board last
it depends on who you're talking to and how hard they skate i bet with like dk yeah when he was
having skating a good deck i'd say a month at the most jesus is he skating every day or what yeah
but and also a decade like a good deck is like 30 bucks maybe that's i mean that's that's not horrendous
that's about as much as youtube premium fucking animals yeah so you could be out doing cool kick
flips and shit or you could be buying youtube premium yeah i could be i could be draining my
hsa account in all of the hospital fees or or i could have youtube premium which i just cannot
bring myself to do no one can they're gonna lose that battle dude it's ad blocker for life
i've never gotten ad blocker to work for youtube ads and i have ad blocker what we'll convene after
this yes we will i need to finally figure that i'm 32 dude yeah i work in tech yeah i was gonna say
this is bullshit there's no way i should have this figured out and you shouldn't truth the roles are
reversed here yes help me help me escape our google overlords fucking hey um something interesting that
i i felt like i knew this fact once i heard it but i while doing some research on this game i
heard it again so this is actually what the first tony hawk game when they first were making it
this is how they had envisioned it oh really was as like a downhill jam race thing and the downhill
jam was tony because on the first tony hawk game one of the last level that you play is downhill jam
i don't think there's other people i don't recall i don't think so but it's like in this there's the
last level i think that you unlock in this game is that level redone for this that's fucking cool
and it's it's a it's in the same vein you know where it's a it's all downhill you got to hit all
these different things by the time you get to the bottom of it and yeah i just thought that was
really interesting that is really cool this is how that could have it's a good thing it's not
you know that this wasn't because there's something so nice about the flat land and being able to go
and hit all these different things and not being like oh i missed that spot i'm never going to see
that again i can't flip over that and get my gap deal you know yeah you can go back up like you can
you can turn around which i thought was interesting i really thought i was gonna
railroad you and did not somehow well there's free ride too true and the console versions
there's no free ride really yeah huh then like i saw another video talking about how
faithful of a port this was that's really cool that's wild like the level because not all of
the levels that are in this are in the console ones but the ones that are are like really good
that's uh-huh that's kind of cool which and looking at what we we should watched earlier
with the game boy color and the game boy color not a good example but the game boy advance yeah uh
tony hawke that was impressive yeah yeah you guys want to see some crazy like if you know anything
about video games like if you've turned what uh like a handheld system on before go check that out
well which one was it was the tony hawke proskater 2 on the gba yeah what the fuck that's that blew
my mind yeah like i clicked on the video and i was like i think you're having me click on the wrong
video here that's that's the right one there's no way that's what it looked like and that's insane
i remember that because it's had an isometric view and that really sucked even watching the video now
with you earlier um it yeah made me like a little nauseous yeah i could i could yeah no those types
of when you need that depth perception you're like i have i have done this half pipe 15 fucking times
in a row just trying to get this item in the air and i swear to god i'm underneath of it
and then you move like 10 feet the wrong direction and then you're like oh i got it you're like what
the fuck dude they know this is where they fucked up with spyro on the oh it helps too because the
gba is like that too where it's and it's just it's a platformer yeah you can't dude iso and platforming
don't don't really mix no uh-uh which is too bad because i do like iso like i think it looks
nice if you ever did you ever see or play octopath traveler yes gorgeous iso it's like 2.5 d well but
it's yeah but it's both it's 2.5 d but it's but it's still shot like in an iso perspective i
because you there's still depth it's it's kind of like 2d side scroller depth and that you go up the
screen okay to go back you're saying then that like literally any 2d rpg is also an isometric
oh well fuck i mean if you're gonna put me on the spot it kind of that maybe that is what i'm saying
that's not what i want to be saying though no i don't think it counts as isometric isometric
is when the camera is always fixed at that like 45 degrees yeah yeah am i thinking of something
else then yeah octopath this is an episode of me just randomly shouting out spontaneously
things that my brain is just like scuttled up to the front or like talk about this okay
okay i like octopath yeah let's go yeah great game i'm not like uber passionate about it
i haven't gotten very far into it yeah i i haven't played in quite a quite a long time
my second playthrough i got significantly farther than i couldn't tell you where i don't
remember yeah you have a second playthrough that's it's pretty well not like a play through like the
second attempt at picking the game up oh clarification yeah wow yeah kind of like build
yourself up no not even just a just a just a slight faux pas of language if you say faux pas
one more time faux pas catch these so catch our patreon store uh faux pas will be back in stock
next week get a bogo deal going for holidays buy one mitt get the other mitt free yeah dude there
was i mean there's this line you ever just have like these iconic lines of dialogue or one line
airs from a movie or from a show or game or whatever and it just resonates it just it just
seared somewhere random in your brain for no reason and just sticks with you there's this line
um i think it was from like a was it pajama sam is that the is that the game yeah i think yeah i
think it was a pajama sam game where there's a line where this character says something about
like hurry hurry there's a blue light special on aisle three buy one sock get one free and
and i i don't remember how to do most basic math but i'll carry that to my grave i've got that
on lock forever even the voice like somebody that is a long line is how it's a pretty significant
chunk of dialogue yeah um yeah i i think i'm pretty sure it's from a pajama sam game i believe you
absolutely it sounds right the weird voice and the yeah that's exactly what he sounded like too yeah
good stuff probably purple probably probably i kind of want to go back and play some of those old
like they have educational collection of those games on um switch i want to say or maybe this
pc out of somewhere they released like a remaster i don't know if it's a remaster
yeah they look great still they're all hand-drawn you know animation i'm sure it looks great
yeah i remember i remember pajama sam putt putt putt dude i remember putt goes to the moon
um i feel like there's a couple other ones in there there's the rabbit and the
i don't know if it's a bear who he's with and they're like detectives or something like that
oh shit um yeah i have no idea i know exactly what you're talking about same group of games
yeah i don't know what they're called that made those you ever you ever play mavis beacon teaches
typing for kids hmm that doesn't sound familiar like i want to go back we had slam dunk typing
oh slam dunk typing yeah sick i was um a prolifically terrible typer up until moving out here
and playing runescape yeah dude you gotta sell that shit and you gotta be able to type it quick
you'll type fast oh fuck yeah dude that'll turn you into a fucking hunter plus it was wow i went
from being like i think i almost i think i did fail the typing class in sixth grade
like no one had ever failed it i failed it dude you fucking and then by the time that i was out here
and in like seventh grade typing classes i was fucking killing it and that was all thanks to
just a summer of like a summer or two that's great on the fucking internet too much thanks
jackx yes thank you for my thanks for thanks for being there for us when we needed you the most
words per minute words per minute there we go i taught myself um i always thought like i still see
i still see this memory as a victory in my in my eyes like i i pulled one over on my mom
because i remember we had a shitty fucking family computer that i honestly to this day don't
understand why we had it like we weren't connected to the internet uh we weren't really playing a
lot of like games or anything like that there was no point in us having this computer but we did
and i remember telling my mom i was like you should let me use the computer she's like no
i was like well i just thought i was gonna practice my my spelling words but i thought
maybe i could teach myself to type them and that would help me really like focus on the words and
i would memorize how they're spelled and also learn how to type at the same time and she was
like fine but only to write out your spelling words i was like haha you dumb bitch
bitch sneaky boy i got access to the computer and that's how i learned how to type
then all you were allowed to do was type yeah
yeah i mean that changed at some point i don't i mean not not by like a whole lot like we had
dial-up at one point for a while that i tried to i tried to watch some some naughty videos
a few different times i just could never get it alone it was just hours of frustrate frustrating
suffering just just not like you'd get like the first three or four seconds of a video to buffer
out and that's it i think maybe you'd have like a nipple in there i think when we had dial-up
gosh i think when we had dial-up i'm sure i was watching porn right but like i don't think they
i don't think they had videos i don't think there was streaming video because like i'm sure that
like porn sites beat youtube to it for just uh video streaming yeah if you look at anything as
far as the history of the internet goes it all comes from porn sites like they do everything
first yeah oh yeah pornography the sex industry yeah yeah yeah sex for money industry that's where
buying things online started oh yeah dude if we can yeah we were buying pussy on the internet
before you could buy bread yeah yeah absolutely yeah by a long time actually bread was probably
a lot later down yeah it's probably pretty recent i don't know i mean there's probably some guy
selling his own bread online like bread.org i love that early internet you know like someone's just
tiny shitty dot net site of them selling their fucking homemade whatever and i think that's
why it was like a lady selling her it was her the original only fans like she was taking the pictures
and then i think what it became was that other women were sending their pictures to her to have
them to have her sell them oh is that the world's first hot or not site
right suzanne'sladies.net oh yeah oh i bet that's exactly what it was called too i would i'd be a
subscriber i remember my first access to naughty media was through uh newground newgrounds yeah
dude you're so late to the game it's so funny i know that was i would that like for me that was
like eighth eighth or ninth grade yeah that's late to the game i know dude i know but i was like i
remember i remember being at one of my buddy's house um because we were allowed to go over there
and we like we could play like dance dance revolution and shit like that and i remember
like one day i was he just happened to say like oh well we can just use the computer we could
look something up like whatever it was and i was like oh yeah wouldn't that be cool and he's just
like i mean it's right there and i was like wait you you just have a computer down here just hooked
up to the internet and you can just get on it whenever and like your parents don't care
you're like yeah and i was like could we forgo our previously agreed upon plans to perhaps explore
that a little bit can you show me the internet oh dude that was like the first thing we did was
go into newgrounds watch a bunch of probably stick fight videos yeah and then it's probably
some weird scat porn like porn yeah dude yeah it's awesome oh dude dating sim games i was hella into
those dude i'm like working out for four days you know going going to my job for two days sleeping
making money getting those stats up trying to woo the ladies the cat girls dude i fucking loved
those games and honestly like pretty indicative of what i like in games even to this day like i
i love to see the numbers go up i love a good progression and i just want to succeed and a
waifu in life in general yeah and if there's a waifu at the end of the tunnel sign me up
i will i always think about the game uh i think it was either i think it was a game or a clip i
don't know but there's like smell vision or something like that that this guy gets instead of
getting like x-ray vision he gets smelled screwed over and gets smelled vision and you just see like
everyone farting everywhere all the time oh that'd be horrendous hilarious that's oh god dude peak
internet peak internet and i always think about is there just some guy in here like when i'm at the
bar working who could just see all the parts see that it's just me some weird form of fucked up
synesthesia yeah there's this old game like um i don't know if it was like a dog's life or just
called dog or what the fuck everyone was but you played as a dog oh big surprise and you have like
smell vision okay a dog yeah sure i get it i get it and like different smells of different colors
so that's okay they see like they see like clouds of color so i just imagine that everyone has their
own different color and shade to their color all those crystal girls are wrong it's it's not your
aura that's your fart your fart cloud yeah burnt onto me just baked into your essence yeah that's
you are what you eat there's just one dude just sitting there just like
i've been given this knowledge and this power i can't call anyone out on it no but i know
and you just see just like the people like the two the the dude and the chick that are the two hottest
people in the bar and they're just fucking just the shittiest part shittiest cloud auras yeah that
wouldn't surprise me in the least um beautiful people have dog shit diets yeah and that's canon
that's kidding you can quote me on that uh see me with my dumb truck of a body actually uh treated
uh treated like a temple yeah yeah i only take in uh whole organic foods in their unprocessed form
um i don't wash my vegetables i eat them with the dirt on and uh me and this man ate a
fucking gas station and a taco bell today yeah okay but those those little fucking whatever
those things were that i know i've never seen before that was so fucking bomb dude the one
that i had i didn't even realize it until after i started eating it was like french toast yeah what
bro absolutely huge flame um i've been paying the price for whatever that was ever since
maybe that's what those guys are from today for sure yeah i ate at a gas station for breakfast
yeah of course eggs yeah gas station eggs yeah oh yeah it's like a step above safety as far as a
sushi from a gas station goes sushi yeah sushi is a guaranteed crit fail like these were like
freshly baked that day oh that day yeah i would accept that day yeah maybe not made i'm not saying
they were fresh yeah they were probably shipped in a week ago frozen but they were thought out and
then we formed today i am a picky egg eater and those were decent eggs they were no they actually
i was way better than a mcdonald's egg yeah are you mcdonald's eggs they freak me they weird me out
you're talking about like the liquid ones no like i have liquid eggs at mcdonald's yeah so liquid
there's some liquid mcdonald's uses both liquid eggs and like actual eggs like oh yeah there's a
liquid egg when it comes out in like that bar like when you have it on a sandwich and it's just like
a perfect the folded egg flat yeah it's just that yellow it's so gross sponge cake yeah dude
that's nasty i fuck with it dude i would um so texture is a big thing for me and that is no i
i get that there's the so i don't know i can't remember the name of it and it's it's an asian
culture thing i don't know which specifically the folding of the egg yeah they've got like those
square pans and they like yeah just keep pouring the egg in yeah and it just rolls on itself yeah
and i love that because then you get like just these layers of like it's basically like a good
mcdonald's folded egg but with many more folds yeah and dude i like the way it looks i think i
made them for ren after seeing that tiktok video i made them like that for ren yeah yeah just like
how you can yeah yeah hell yeah and yeah those look cool but i can also tell just by looking
at those i'm like that's not the tech because i just scrambled eggs i can really i really just
have to scarf them down it is hard for me to eat the scrambled eggs by themselves really yeah i mean
scrambled i can do but then you talk about like a fried egg no fucking way i'm eating that by
itself what about on a slice of toast yes absolutely you have the crunch yeah just straight up just goo
warm goo because if your egg is over easy or over medium it's not going to be that hot
i do like i do like a hot i want a hot egg but you never get a hot enough egg you never eat the egg
fast enough to not eat cold yeah you're gonna be eating some cold egg i okay so i made i made some
pretty bomb breakfast this weekend and i just like sourdough toast and then over easy eggs
and some like sausage patties that i pressed that's amazing i love super simple and i've been eating
i've been eating okay so i accidentally bought like nine bell peppers last week um that's its own
story so i've been eating a lot of bell peppers lately i've just been like like i'll skin i'll
you know i'll trim out an entire bell pepper into like one long sheet say skin i started to say that
okay it's not what i okay all right but i was kind of hoping i don't think you're supposed to skin
those yeah i think you're supposed to eat the skin on the peppers like maybe that's what's wrong maybe
that's why they hurt my stomach it's because you're not skinning your peppers okay foolish
mistake i didn't know i didn't know that explains it you do now save your tummy next time skin your
peppers uh but i'm like sandwich dude i'll put a whole bell pepper on it oh dude bell pepper on a
sandwich ham and mustard maybe some cheese on there and some bell peppers especially if they're orange
bell peppers uh-huh oh it adds such a good oh you get the crunch it's really juicy like you get the
sweetness oh dude so do you do the a little bit of mustard on the other side do a little bit of
horseradish so okay so actually fun fact so i've got some homemade mustards from the farmers market
that jan's mustards yeah i've got a few of hers um and i've got i've got a jalapeno one a dill one
and then uh her take on a stone mustard like a stone ground um they're good i like her mustards
they're not crazy unique it's all basic it's all the same mustard base yeah with accents is how i
describe it yeah they are good i do like them quite a bit um so i've been using her jalapeno mustard
and some mayonnaise and then i usually do turkey and chicken and then i have this habanero cheese
that i've been using oh and then uh pickle and then the fucking bell pepper and god damn that's
a hearty delicious but like still semi light and refreshing yeah because dude that peppermint
just adds so much to be desired i love it it does it adds a nice crunch to that sandwich
you gotta have a good crunch yeah because i do i like i don't like crazy toasted bread on a sandwich
you know because the shoes on my mouth yeah yeah yeah and i got i got gentle gums bro i feel you
so but like just a just a whole light yeah yeah just a light toast just enough to give it a little
bit of i want to hold this sandwich in one hand you know i don't want that shit fucking drooping
yep i don't want to risk my pickles hitting the floor so yeah um but i had a i had a really
i had a really difficult time stringing tricks together and i feel like it might just be because
i don't have a lot of experience skateboarding and i'm not like i obviously don't know what any of the
tricks are called so i don't i'm like i don't know what the natural progression for a skate combo
would be anyway well i think also in your defense you're looking at it from like i know you've played
tony ox underground and anytime any of these ones on the console they're more arcadey than they are
on the handheld they you get less air i feel like and the handheld than you do on the console and
so thus leaving less room for these crazy combos that you're probably your brain is immediately like
oh let me throw three tricks in yeah right and you're like fucking yeah yeah and part of that is
also like in in thug tony ox underground you thanks for you progress your yeah i was like
uh you progress your character like they get more and more they're able to get higher air and
like an rpg element excuse me uh not an rpg element just like uh character your character
levels up you've done this combo yeah like you you do a trick this long or a manual for 15 seconds
so now your balance on your manuals is better oh okay so kind of like achievement and unlocks
yeah okay that's kind of cool that's kind of cool yeah nothing like that in this one no it's a it's
harder i don't like this one i i don't know i appreciated the difficulty curve to it because
it wasn't untouchable difficult it was like oh i'm i can't just skate through it i have to i'm
gonna have to put a little time and like kind of get a feel for stringing these together and like
you know you land a couple combos and it's like oh i think the coolest one i had a some big jump i
got big air on it and then landed in a grind and then like some kind of flip off of the rail into
a manual and then held that out allied back into a grind and then dropped into something and did a
cool i i didn't land it i did it i did it actually at the very end so i didn't get any of that
yeah that was a kind of a bummer but like i'm still taking some pretty cool point credit for it
because i feel i felt pretty good i i nailed i nailed all the landing yeah yeah yeah yeah
which i know is kind of the most important part but i tried yeah i tried so yeah absolutely
appreciate yeah i appreciate you not absolutely flaming me on that i remember being a skater kid
and a lot of the other skaters hated these games the tony hawke games because really yeah because
they made skating look so easy oh okay that's fair and so like someone come to the skate park
that didn't skate and they'd be like well can you you know they were just like way less impressed
than what they were expecting because they played some tony hawke or something along those lines
you know like it was like but i feel like that would be cool i feel like you're the odds of you
showing up to like oh i'm gonna grind off some tricks at the park today and then you you know
then like two people in like polos show up they're like yeah my mom bought this game now i can skate
and they try to drop into the bowl and just fall on their face i feel like that would be a good
time for most that's a good time yeah yeah yeah absolutely but like it was more if i think like
when your friends aren't skaters and they're coming to hang out at the skate park and they're just
like that wasn't that cool yeah i could do a fucking crazy amount of tricks in this game
yeah okay that's where that would drive me nuts that's where that annoyance came from
i have not broken every toe on both of my feet several times to hear you talk shit about my
passion yeah it's actually really hard to ollie this thing off the ground then land it onto a
rail and do a board slide like it's one of the easier parts of skateboarding oh but for someone
that can't even ollie like shut the fuck up yeah that's that's fair that's that's fair i suppose if
like 90s hacker movies just never got any better and that's just always how hacking well it's
honestly not that much better actually i thought about that for even a second like well
yeah and people do hate them you know like in those communities they i do that shit does drive me nuts
and i always have to say so i can't like i don't want to be that guy i don't want to be like
actually he wouldn't be able to do that those networks are not connected at all uh i hate doing
that shit but i also can't help it it drives me nuts like that's not what computers do that's not
how they work it's not what they look like it's not even remotely closed i always love the like
when there's like the visual going yeah it looks like one of those old school like audio visualizers
uh from like back in the day it's like all these like square looking buildings that are actually
servers yeah let me get the file and like all these rectangles open up like cascading down you're like
no no or i'm gonna copy these files over and then hundreds of files open up in cascading order and
you're like that you just get a loading bar you just get a loading bar i don't know anything about
this shit but i know well enough of like oh man he's really good and they're like having a hacking
battle like while they're typing code out like i don't think that's how that works at all like
i'm stopping him from getting in by i don't know what the fuck they're doing i mean like are there
yeah there's there's some of that kind of stuff that does and can still happen in that kind of
situation but most hacking is is just it's done at 3 a.m in in your boxers you know with bloodshot
eyes you've been staring at the screen for two days it's a lot less glamorous than the movies
make it out to be sure although i will say there's i couldn't give you a single example right now
but i love the ones where they actually try to use terminology and and like try to be somewhat
accurate but like they just got a guy who kind of knows the buzzwords or maybe he was like their
sound tech he's like well they call me when they can't figure out how to sign into their email so
yeah make that guy figure it out oh no he's using the modem yeah like oh not the modem
he was like that is clearly a television this shit always cracks me up i uh what is that what's that
big one i think it's got john travolta in it is that like a hacker movie is it john travolta or is it
oh jesus there's one big hacker movie that i think of and that's hackers that might be the one i'm
thinking of too john travolta i do not believe is in that that's fair honestly there's a slim
slim chance matthew lillard is in it yeah angela jill is in it that's exactly the one i'm thinking
of yeah don't think john missed casting opportunity with john travolta who would you like john
travolta to be the bad guy yeah he's like the perfect young fucking dude that wears like a
long leather jacket like a trench coat leather jacket oh like uh the matrix yeah what's his name
from uh grandma's boy yep that exact guy how can he see me yeah i have his name onto my tongue it's
like jake or something like it's like a really simple name me jamie oh that sounds about right
that does i think you're is it jamie it's jamie i'm whatever sensei oh man see like i feel like
the cadence and the sound like phonetically of the name is is there i just but like jamie feels
like it does not feel right well it seems like you know because a girl's name like that would
make sense that they give it to him yeah like god that's such a good movie though it is excellent
i fucking love that movie i feel like that's a movie that did not do well when it first released
ahead of its time yeah cult classic yo for sure for sure and i also feel like and i think i'm wrong
but i feel like it was one of those um it released a dvd like it didn't have a uh theater release
you know that wouldn't surprise that was a pretty raunchy movie for its time yeah even yeah because
like i feel like that was around the time of like american pie and shit like that when we were kind
of first starting to doubt having a movie that was like that much weed yeah it was like i would say
especially when it had to do with smoking weed it's not just like kids having sex in college is
like oh they're smoking the doobies and i guess like you know it does make sense totally that it's
a stoner movie but something about that movie and because of me growing up and that was a movie that
we always watched like smoking weed in high school like you get stoned and watch grandma's boy damn
i was about to agree with you and i was like we had very different experiences i watched it for
the first time when i was like 20 but that's i i associate it with people getting stoned and they're
like let's watch grandma's boy yeah absolutely it's kind of a weed heavy movie but it's not the
heaviest it's not like herald and kumar you know but it's just in that same vein like you don't
watch requiem for a dream sober um i did i don't think i would ever watch it on drugs oh really
have you ever seen requiem for a dream yeah why would you watch that on drugs it's about the
because i didn't know if i didn't know the first time that one's not on me like i was presented
with this this excursion unbeknownst of what was about to happen like i had no clue i was like
did the baby that fucked me up yeah isn't that train spotting that has a baby or does requiem
for a dream have a baby oh shit yeah no i think you're right either they may as well be the same
movie they both make me feel the same way i watched both those movies in like one sitting oh maybe not
one sitting but within like a couple of days oh jesus you have to go you have to go sleep outside
after those you need to like feel the earth somehow i got put down the loop of i was recommended
because of eternal sunshine for the spotless mind good one i was recommended requiem for a dream
oh and then train spotting from requiem for a dream in that order no in that order bro like
what how the fuck do those two movies relate to eternal sunshine eternal sunshine it's another
like beautiful sad movie but like not i don't know one of these makes me weep for human
weep for human or two of these sorry make me weep for humanity and the other one makes me feel sad
in a happy way like an arty an artsy beautiful life is complex but it's really pretty too
that's i that's the reason why i feel like why like i was freaked out by drugs absolutely it was
from watching both of those movies oh man at the beginning of the movie when like it's just that
close-up shot of the eyeballs yeah dilating yeah i was like fuck yeah drugs yeah i'm all about
anybody got any let's go yeah and then yeah well then you just hide so bad yeah that movie
and it makes so much sense of why it all goes the way that it does and it just such
does such a great job of illustrating drug addiction and yeah yeah fuck man how quickly
things can get out of hand so off dude i wish that movie wasn't so accurate it's
oh and and another good movie in that vein that i feel like i watched at the very same
like in that same time frame party monsters is that what it was called where it had macaulay
colkin in it what you never saw this i've never heard of oh my god it's macaulay colkin and seth
green what yeah that sounds good it is it is an amazing movie huh but it's got a fucking it's a
dark dark movie because it's about the drug scene like the drug rave scene in the 90s in new york
yeah or maybe it was 80s i don't know but that yeah god dude and macaulay colkin moves out
the new york wanting to be an actor and ends up meeting seth green through some shit and
and they are kind of like we're gonna make it you know but they're just like getting fucked in this
drug scene it is uh it's cool highly recommend i want to i want to watch it again we should do
yeah we should do a movie night sometimes but that's another movie that then later on in life
you do drugs and it's just ringing out in the back of your head yeah you're like how far from
that are you yeah this feels uncomfortably like that one scene yeah oh god dude yeah that's
oh i have too many of those i just like i remember just waking up in different hotel rooms every day
and just like what are we doing
what is going on you realize this train ride is fucking madness but you cannot
yeah you're like where am i getting off dude the train isn't stopping no like and anywhere i get
off is bad maybe if i wait there might be a better spot to get off oh dude the biggest lie everyone
tells themselves i'll just wait it'll get better yeah like there's got to be a better spot to have
like right up there with no i'm in control well and then that one's not even just for drugs that's
just for fucking that's just life 101 baby well speaking of losing control we've lost total control
this downhill jam this downhill jam yeah good game honestly enjoyed it yeah it was i liked it
i think that you would have felt the same way as me if you'd played the other one first
yeah i think i'm glad you didn't no i am too i think i think i like going from
i like going from the shittier version of something to the nicer version especially when i
actually find a way to appreciate the shittier one and then get to experience its elevated form
yeah love that who doesn't love that yeah i don't know why i said that like it was such a unique
uh perspective like no one else like that you're just being like sarcastic like yeah thanks man
thanks man i'm obviously that i hope you'd be surprised to know that i also eat my least
favorite foods first and then save the delicious for the last wow that's crazy i also do that
wow that's so weird and quirky it's kind of like how like you you know someone's talking and you
just decide to like count the number of letters and the words that they said and then that one's
still just even and oh sorry buddy oh i forget that you do that i don't do it so much it seems
it's so uncharacteristically autistic for you i love that about you like it's yeah that is like
honest to god like if i was designing us i would have thought that would have that was something
that should have been in my column yeah definitely about a numbers guy so it's really weird that
that's and i feel like i should be but i'm i'm not my brain's like we have numbers we know about them
but you know it does make sense with me having that a truly good autistic person would know how
many letters are in like every word because of that but i'm dumb and then rather than making this job
easier on myself and remembering how many words are in like remember or how many letters are in
remember just every single after hearing it and typing it out in my head so many times to do this
yeah i should have just memorized that but i don't i just i like count it out while people are talking
and then don't pay attention to what they're saying so it makes sense that i do it that way
no i i hear you i don't think we have time in this episode to for us to talk about how my brain
visualizes math it's not pretty it's pretty it's it's it's a little chaotic it no it's very chaotic
mine's easy because i can't do math uh i cut things down into shapes oh that's yeah i cut
numbers down into shapes and like that's bad it's pretty rough dude it's like i play tetris with
numbers and sometimes pieces get lost yeah i bet can you show your work can i show my work yeah
like i mean like i'm actually doing math on paper yeah absolutely no but can you show the work of how
it works in your brain oh yeah like yeah i'd love to have been the teacher that's just like
grading papers and then all of a sudden there comes ed's paper with just like squares and triangles
and all this and then just like a number of circles it helps if you play the tetris thing
when you read it take this kid yeah seriously oh god yeah no i had a big fetish for geometric
shapes and like symmetry and shit like that and it was where do you want to use yeah all right
i had a big i was big ups for it a big boner big big big boner big big oh careful i had to dad
i was gonna say big boy boner um actually no i stand by that big boy boner i'm getting that
shit tattooed on me triple b not the better business bureau shout out to the better business
bureau yeah shout out to those guys yeah thanks for looking after our interests as the consumer
making sure that we're protected um fuck the employees yeah wait what employees yeah why
will the employees do fuck them wait what's the bbb's employees no bbbs are making sure that
they're taking care of the customers but fuck the employees oh yeah yeah we don't give a shit about
workers rights yeah we just want to make sure that consume yeah yeah we just want to consume buy ds
games yeah make my games more valuable listen to our podcast is he are you a ghost though are you
i i don't know man it just kind of happened well this is me i think we've rode this hill as far as
we can ride it rode this hill out baby it's it's been ridden as hard as it can ride what do we
ride it next what are we riding next what did what did we decide we talked about it um it's not
okami it's okami din okami din yeah it's the love child seek not quite sequel not in a spin-off
standalone game i think it's a spiritual successor and i just always thought that it was a like i was
like a port yeah or like just another like yeah port i guess but not really a port because i
thought it was a game specifically made for the ds from the series but having read that
is a spiritual successor i don't i don't know what to expect it's um but yeah it's the follow-up
game to okami i guess which i think was originally released for the wii ps2 really i want to say ps2
i thought i thought that game was built specifically for like the point controls
no it's ps2 absolutely 100 it came out before the wii no way yeah because i remember
there might be a remake on the there's probably a remake on the wii yeah actually i think i have i
think it's on steam too it's also on switch now remember that's where i played it i don't remember
either way beautiful game love the japanese watercolor art style yeah um and just kind of a
good adventure game yeah it had that's it got a great zelda feel to it yeah big zelda vibes
love the little characters uh again the art style the environment it's all oh it meshes very well
and they do a really good job with like mechanics progression which i which i think is really big
for that type of game if you're if your mechanic sucks in terms of gameplay and how those
i guess are leveraged throughout fuck i don't care anymore if there's no hook shot i don't want to
play i don't think there's gonna be a hook shot grappling hook i don't hear a dog well
well you get a you get a fucking kind of a grapple thing that you can do when in zelda and when you
turn into the wolf and twilight because you have imp what's her name impa something like that midna
midnight you're fucking back was a giant monster hand yeah she's got that big ass arm that comes
out i mean maybe maybe oh komi didn't will have something yeah help him along the way too yeah
i'll be interested see if you even get that far yeah we'll see i'll probably sink some time into
this game i i really enjoyed yeah yeah i'm looking forward to this i totally forgot that this
exists i didn't know it existed at all until it rolled up yeah what a pleasant surprise
well hell yeah dudes we'll catch you on the next tubular episode of pocket cast far out man