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G'day listeners. In this podcast we talk about discipline. Now there's lots of podcasts all over

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the internet around this topic but Michelle and I share our opinion on one where our discipline

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came from, different ways of looking at it so that you can increase it and how it's going to

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help you become best friends with your future self. Enjoy. Why did it count backwards?

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And they that we're now recording. What? Hello captain. What do I say?

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Come fly with me, let's fly, let's fly. What are we going to talk about? I don't know.

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Leadership, life and everything else. Yeah.

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And we're recording live. Yes. Yay, you got it right. And disciplined. Yes. We're going to talk

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about discipline. Yes, not their whips and chains sort. Oh, where did your mind go?

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Now you didn't want to go to the gym yesterday, did you? This morning. Was it this morning? It

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was this morning. Oh my goodness. It was hours and hours ago. I know. Yeah, but I made you.

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That's right. And I'm glad you did. Yeah, because you always feel better afterwards. But

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discipline is an interesting concept. Now there's thousands of podcasts online about discipline.

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You've got your David Goggins, your Jocko Willink and all of your other

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ex-Navy SEALs who are out there telling you to be disciplined. And we've both heard the quote,

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that discipline equals freedom. And we like it. And we firmly agree with it. But the fact that

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we're not ex-Navy SEALs or SEALs of any kind really. Well, I sometimes swim like a SEAL.

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True. You see me in the water. I can move around pretty lively. But we were thinking how it applies

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to everyday life and everyday people. And everyday people rather than your David Goggins who gets up

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at four o'clock and runs a marathon. And Jocko Willink who is in the gym at four o'clock sweating

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it away. So it's an interesting concept. But can we start with how it's a version of self-love?

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Yes. I like this. I relate to this. Yeah. So as parents, one of the things that we do is we stop

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our kids doing what we know is not healthy for them. Like eating buckets of chocolate

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and unhealthy things for breakfast, lunch and dinner. Yeah. Or staying up too late or maybe

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going swimming without a rashie. Those sorts of things because we're very fair skinned.

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Yes. And we're doing it for them because we love them and we know that it's good for their future

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selves. When they get older, they don't have skin cancer because they spent their life as pasty

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young white people out in the sun. Yeah. And so we do it for them because they can't do it for

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themselves. But what happens when you get to an age where you're now reliant on you?

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That's the thing. It's that discipline, which is what we're talking about today, where you,

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it's like, oh, go on. It's only one day. It's just one chocolate. It's just one glass of wine. It's

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just, you know, I really want to tan or I don't know, all these self-destructive behaviors where,

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or not productive behaviors. I'm, I am very guilty of it. I, especially when I was younger, I

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gave myself days off all the time. But you've achieved a lot in your life. So you would have

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had to have had a lot of discipline. How young are you talking here? I'm talking in my twenties,

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probably that, you know, a day off from exercising, a day off from getting up early, I'd sleep in,

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I wouldn't really sleep. I'd lie in and think that I was doing myself a favor when I was just

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thinking about what I should be doing or what I really wanted to do. But, you know, I'm like,

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oh no, I'll give myself a lie in because I deserve it. Well, that's where I was quite lucky because

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my childhood was full of discipline because I was committed to other people. So when I was in high

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school, I was in the circus, I was in the Flying Fruit Fly Circus and we trained in the afternoons

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after school down the YMCA and you turned up or you weren't in the circus. And so the discipline

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was based on the fact that I wanted to be in the circus. I wanted to be a performer in the circus

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and part of the circus. And then eventually I became a trainer to the other kids. I was only

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15 but I was training the other kids. And so that was luckily my first training in discipline,

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but it wasn't so much that I was the one that was enforcing it. It was...

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No, that's what I'm saying. So yeah, when I was a teenager, I was in a lot of sports and...

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Marching koalas.

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We've got a baton twirler here people. She was one of four baton twillers in the marching koalas.

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But so I had a responsibility to turn up and to do things for them and that was part of the

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discipline. However, when it came down to me being responsible for me in my early 20s,

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I probably wasn't the kindest I could have been to myself.

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But don't you think that your being in the marching koalas and doing ballet and all the

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other things that you did, isn't that where we all start to learn discipline? Because

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there's days where you don't want to go to training, but you go because there's other people

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there and you've made a commitment to them. And especially if you're the goalkeeper and

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no one's sitting in the cage throwing balls and you're going to just lose. But yeah,

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so making commitments to other people early on in your life by playing sports and or joining a band

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or whatever it is you do, I think that's the first training in learning what discipline's all about.

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And even if you just turned up, you couldn't help but get better.

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Well, recently we took the kids somewhere and one didn't want to participate, watching the other

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kids participating, eventually they jumped in. Yes. Yeah, because when you see other people

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doing it, it's much, much easier to be disciplined, isn't it? It is, yeah. Yeah. And so after,

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this is where I think I was very fortunate because after the circus, I went and played water polo and

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I lived at the Australian Institute of Sport for 12 years. I was there on scholarship for 10.

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And I went back as an athlete supervisor, but every morning I had to wake up, drudge across

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frozen grass and jump into a pool when most mornings you just don't feel like doing that

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at 4.35 o'clock in the morning. No. Yeah. And if you didn't turn up, you lost your scholarship.

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Yeah. Which basically meant everything. There was incentive. It was incentive. So I think I

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was very, very fortunate early on in my life that I was disciplined because I had to be,

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but knowing myself and knowing who I am as a person and my personality, I don't think I would be

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as successful after circus and sport as I have been if I hadn't been drilled in the art of

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discipline by other people, because I think potentially, and not potentially factually,

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I am a lazy person. Yeah. I would agree not that you're a lazy person. I would agree with the fact

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that the early being motivated, being inspired, being kept to a commitment by others initially,

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not that there's, you know, you can always change. So if you didn't have that upbringing,

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you can still do it. You can make the decision. Yeah. But you've seen it, you've experienced it.

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And yes, it takes a little bit of work, but you can get there.

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And what we were talking about earlier, which is why we decided to record this, is that not like

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the act of self love, it's the having that commitment to your future self. Yeah. So whilst

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it's easy to lie in bed today or not go to the gym, and thank you again for making me go to the gym.

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Whips always work. We weren't talking about that.

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Is the fact that I will be stronger and healthier and more... Live longer. Yeah,

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live longer. Live healthier longer. Because I didn't do one line. Yeah. And people will say,

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oh, but it's only one day, one day. But the thing is that one day becomes very easy to turn into

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more days. And again, this is said so many times by other podcasters that it's really about loving

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your future self. Yeah. So loving your future self means doing the hard work now so that your

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future self benefits. Yeah. So the discipline, you just write it on the wall. And I think the

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last podcast you talked about how changing your language so that rather than I'm bad at remembering

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names, I used to be bad at remembering names, but every day I am getting better at remembering names.

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Well, listen to me. It's the same with discipline that, oh, I'm lazy. I don't do that. I can't swim.

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Whatever. Is the, I used to not be able to, but now I am every day. So it's that believe, believing

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in... What was it that we said? It was about the actual... Oh yeah. So it's positive thinking with...

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So it's... Accurate thinking with a positive bent. No, it's accurate thinking with a positive bent

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or a positive slant. Yeah. Yeah. So I like teaching people that you need to make I am statements.

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Yes. Instead of I'm going to the gym, I have to, I want to, I should, I go to the gym. So it's a

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statement that this is what I do every morning. Yeah. And it reminds me of a podcast that I think

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we recorded once, but we didn't get to publish it because the actual technology failed, but about

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the difference between having goals and having rules. Yeah. Do you remember we recorded that?

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We couldn't actually publish it. Yeah. And so my rule now is rather than a goal, rather than

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something I aspire to do, my rule is that when I wake up, I have a cold shower. Yes. It wakes me up.

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It fills me with energy. I then go and grab our, our morning... Live forever drink. Live forever

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drink and, and get the coffee machine started for when we're finishing our exercise. And,

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and so I have rules that I live by, not goals. And so this is an interesting way to become

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disciplined. I'll, I'll give you a, just a bit of a segue here. So I spoke to somebody about their

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challenge with alcohol and they said that they, you know, they have a glass or two or three or

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four every evening to wind down, to, to de-stress. And they said that they have difficulty reducing

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the amount of alcohol that they have. And I said, well, why don't you create a rule? Figure it

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about your goals. Figure it about having a goal. Figure it about desiring to drink less alcohol.

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Why don't you make a rule and just state the rule very clearly to yourself and to others.

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I have one glass now. That's my rule. I have one glass. Yeah. And then once, once you get that

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habit and that discipline, then you say, I only drink Fridays, Saturdays and Sundays. And again,

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I have one glass and I haven't spoken to them since. So I'll have to reach out and see where

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they're at. But it's something that I, I can't remember who, who had mentioned it, but instead

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of having goals, create rules. And that's where your discipline can come from. My rule is that

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when I wake up, I do 10 squats or 10 sit-ups or 10 push-ups. Or my rule is I have a cold shower.

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My rule is that after dinner, I take the family for a walk. And that's, that's one way to be

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disciplined because it's easy to follow rules. It's more challenging to follow a goal. Well,

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it's in the future. It's a distant thing. And a rule is now, isn't it? My rule is not,

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oh, at some stage I want to. Yeah. Yeah.

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So discipline is a way of loving your future self because the actions that you take today

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are going to benefit you in the future. So it's like getting in a time machine, going forward,

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10, 20, 30, 40 years, however many years you've got left and giving that person a hug and saying,

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Hey, I've got you. I've got you, mate. I'm going to, I'm going to make sure that you're a healthy

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person, that you're a well-read person, that you're a person that has a good circle of friends. I've

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got you. I know, I know you're 40 or 50 years in the future, or you're 10 years in the future,

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or you're even five years in the future, but I've got you, mate. So if we could all spend some time

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doing that, so close our eyes, project ourselves 10 years in the future, a few more wrinkles,

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a few more gray hairs, but walk up to that version of you, put your arm around their shoulders and

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say, Hey, I've got you. Yeah. Yeah. You're welcome. Yeah. And get a high five. Oh, thank you so much

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for, for giving me the strength. Thank you so much for giving me this vitality. Thank you so much for

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giving me this, this wealth because you were disciplined in saving and get a high five from

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that future self. That's what discipline is. It's about projecting into the future and seeing who

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do you want to be? Doing it even if you don't want to, because it's for the greater good ultimately.

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Yeah. And the greater good is you. Yes. I haven't gone down this path as deeply as what I am now

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in my mind, Michelle. I'm actually visualizing myself as an 80, 90 year old man. And I'm thinking,

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well, what sort of experience do I want to have at that stage of my life? Do I want to be old and

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decrepit and walking around on a cane or even in a wheelchair? Or do I want to be that youthful

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80, 90 year old who's still competing in, you know, master's tournaments and, you know, going

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for long walks in the morning, that sort of stuff. Yeah. No, that's, that's the goal. And I think

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with the fact that we can live longer, it's, I know we've discussed it before over our morning

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coffee out the front, but it's that thing of, you know, you don't want the slow decline to death.

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We want the live life to the full and just drop off one day. Drop off one day, but at our peak

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fitness. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. The other thing I've heard about discipline is that discipline

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equals freedom. Yes. Yeah. And this is a great concept. So for example, if you are disciplined

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and you get your head down, your ass up, and you do the tasks that you have to do, that you,

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that are a high priority for you and you do them as soon as you can, then you will no longer be the

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slave to the urgency trap. Yeah. Where you're always then thinking about it. So you don't

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actually get the freedom of having done it, like the freedom of it not being on your mind. Yeah.

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So the urgency trap is that we often put things off until they become urgent. Then we do them,

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we do them under pressure and we convince ourselves, Hey, look at me, I'm working better

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on depression. No, you're just working. It's the pressure that's making you work. And so that busy

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trap, that stressful busy trap, that'll go away if you have the discipline of doing the tasks

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early when they're not urgent. So that's it. That's an example of freedom. Just chipping away.

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Chipping away. Being productive is avoiding the slavery of the urgency trap. Yeah. I have to say,

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I'm impressed with the effort that my son has done recently for an assignment at school. And

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he was working on it for probably four or five weeks. So he's putting in the hard yards early,

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not doing it last. Yeah. And it was due last week and it was easy. He didn't stress about it.

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He had fun because he was just doing half an hour a day. And yeah, he came up with that himself.

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I was really proud of him. That just how he did it and how he tackled it. It doesn't matter about

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what the market is ultimately. It's the fact that he, he learned to do that and yeah, it was easy

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for him. So what's another example of freedom? So discipline of eating healthy. Yeah. Is then

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going to avoid you being to the slave of ill health and poor health. Or the diet trap and all

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that. The, the yo-yo up and down. Yeah. It's the, yeah. Where you then constantly thinking about

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food. It's just like, no, I eat healthy. Yeah. My rule is I eat healthy. Yeah. I eat things that

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grow and live. I don't eat things that are processed. For example, that would be a good rule.

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Yeah. Yeah. So the discipline of eating healthy avoids the slavery of obesity and ill health.

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What's another one? How's this? The discipline of having good quality time and date nights with

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your partner. Yes. Rather than in front of the telly or on your phones or that sort of non,

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being not present. Yeah. Avoids the slavery of a damaged relationship. Yeah. And the cost of

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divorce or whatever, ultimately. That's it. That's it. What's another one? So the discipline of.

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Connection with your kids. Yes. Sometimes it's really hard if you've had a long day,

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like a big day at work or a long day or, or something's happened. Yeah. To switch off and

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give time to your kids or to, you know, your loved ones and, or friends. If you don't keep in touch

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with friends, it's, it's a discipline. You, you need to make time to do it. And it shouldn't,

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a lot of people say, oh, you shouldn't have to like, if it's, if it's real love or real friendship,

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it doesn't matter. You have to work. Someone has to work on it. Absolutely. So, um, and if you're

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both busy, it can just go by the wayside. So that avoids being a slave to loneliness.

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It's so true, isn't it? The discipline is freedom because without discipline, you will be the slave

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to a consequence that you wouldn't want in your life. So what are you going to do to make sure

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that you don't entertain those ideas and not going to the gym in the morning, Michelle? I go to the

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gym. You do go to the gym. Yes. And, uh, you're lifting lots of weights at the moment. I know,

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I know. I am strong. I'm impressed with my strength. I'm never going to arm wrestle you.

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I'm impressed by how much my strength has increased this year. Because you've been disciplined

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to increase the weights as you go. Yeah. Yeah. You're not just maintaining health,

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you're, you're improving health, improving strength. Well, the kids are getting bigger

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and heavier, so I need to be able to lift them. Yeah. Well, my son's regrettably gone past the

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stage where I can lift him and throw him in the pool. Yes. He now does that to me.

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It's a discipline. It's freedom. It's loving your future self and it's you thinking about

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how, how do you want to turn up for your future self? Yeah. It's the rules rather than goals.

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Yeah. I like that one. Yeah. Cheers. Well, that was fun. That was fun. You're such a clown.

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You're such a clown. Lady captain. And who's going to listen to this? Maybe our moms. Thanks mom.