G'day listeners. In this podcast we talk about discipline. Now there's lots of podcasts all over
the internet around this topic but Michelle and I share our opinion on one where our discipline
came from, different ways of looking at it so that you can increase it and how it's going to
help you become best friends with your future self. Enjoy. Why did it count backwards?
And they that we're now recording. What? Hello captain. What do I say?
Come fly with me, let's fly, let's fly. What are we going to talk about? I don't know.
Leadership, life and everything else. Yeah.
And we're recording live. Yes. Yay, you got it right. And disciplined. Yes. We're going to talk
about discipline. Yes, not their whips and chains sort. Oh, where did your mind go?
Now you didn't want to go to the gym yesterday, did you? This morning. Was it this morning? It
was this morning. Oh my goodness. It was hours and hours ago. I know. Yeah, but I made you.
That's right. And I'm glad you did. Yeah, because you always feel better afterwards. But
discipline is an interesting concept. Now there's thousands of podcasts online about discipline.
You've got your David Goggins, your Jocko Willink and all of your other
ex-Navy SEALs who are out there telling you to be disciplined. And we've both heard the quote,
that discipline equals freedom. And we like it. And we firmly agree with it. But the fact that
we're not ex-Navy SEALs or SEALs of any kind really. Well, I sometimes swim like a SEAL.
True. You see me in the water. I can move around pretty lively. But we were thinking how it applies
to everyday life and everyday people. And everyday people rather than your David Goggins who gets up
at four o'clock and runs a marathon. And Jocko Willink who is in the gym at four o'clock sweating
it away. So it's an interesting concept. But can we start with how it's a version of self-love?
Yes. I like this. I relate to this. Yeah. So as parents, one of the things that we do is we stop
our kids doing what we know is not healthy for them. Like eating buckets of chocolate
and unhealthy things for breakfast, lunch and dinner. Yeah. Or staying up too late or maybe
going swimming without a rashie. Those sorts of things because we're very fair skinned.
Yes. And we're doing it for them because we love them and we know that it's good for their future
selves. When they get older, they don't have skin cancer because they spent their life as pasty
young white people out in the sun. Yeah. And so we do it for them because they can't do it for
themselves. But what happens when you get to an age where you're now reliant on you?
That's the thing. It's that discipline, which is what we're talking about today, where you,
it's like, oh, go on. It's only one day. It's just one chocolate. It's just one glass of wine. It's
just, you know, I really want to tan or I don't know, all these self-destructive behaviors where,
or not productive behaviors. I'm, I am very guilty of it. I, especially when I was younger, I
gave myself days off all the time. But you've achieved a lot in your life. So you would have
had to have had a lot of discipline. How young are you talking here? I'm talking in my twenties,
probably that, you know, a day off from exercising, a day off from getting up early, I'd sleep in,
I wouldn't really sleep. I'd lie in and think that I was doing myself a favor when I was just
thinking about what I should be doing or what I really wanted to do. But, you know, I'm like,
oh no, I'll give myself a lie in because I deserve it. Well, that's where I was quite lucky because
my childhood was full of discipline because I was committed to other people. So when I was in high
school, I was in the circus, I was in the Flying Fruit Fly Circus and we trained in the afternoons
after school down the YMCA and you turned up or you weren't in the circus. And so the discipline
was based on the fact that I wanted to be in the circus. I wanted to be a performer in the circus
and part of the circus. And then eventually I became a trainer to the other kids. I was only
15 but I was training the other kids. And so that was luckily my first training in discipline,
but it wasn't so much that I was the one that was enforcing it. It was...
No, that's what I'm saying. So yeah, when I was a teenager, I was in a lot of sports and...
Marching koalas.
We've got a baton twirler here people. She was one of four baton twillers in the marching koalas.
But so I had a responsibility to turn up and to do things for them and that was part of the
discipline. However, when it came down to me being responsible for me in my early 20s,
I probably wasn't the kindest I could have been to myself.
But don't you think that your being in the marching koalas and doing ballet and all the
other things that you did, isn't that where we all start to learn discipline? Because
there's days where you don't want to go to training, but you go because there's other people
there and you've made a commitment to them. And especially if you're the goalkeeper and
no one's sitting in the cage throwing balls and you're going to just lose. But yeah,
so making commitments to other people early on in your life by playing sports and or joining a band
or whatever it is you do, I think that's the first training in learning what discipline's all about.
And even if you just turned up, you couldn't help but get better.
Well, recently we took the kids somewhere and one didn't want to participate, watching the other
kids participating, eventually they jumped in. Yes. Yeah, because when you see other people
doing it, it's much, much easier to be disciplined, isn't it? It is, yeah. Yeah. And so after,
this is where I think I was very fortunate because after the circus, I went and played water polo and
I lived at the Australian Institute of Sport for 12 years. I was there on scholarship for 10.
And I went back as an athlete supervisor, but every morning I had to wake up, drudge across
frozen grass and jump into a pool when most mornings you just don't feel like doing that
at 4.35 o'clock in the morning. No. Yeah. And if you didn't turn up, you lost your scholarship.
Yeah. Which basically meant everything. There was incentive. It was incentive. So I think I
was very, very fortunate early on in my life that I was disciplined because I had to be,
but knowing myself and knowing who I am as a person and my personality, I don't think I would be
as successful after circus and sport as I have been if I hadn't been drilled in the art of
discipline by other people, because I think potentially, and not potentially factually,
I am a lazy person. Yeah. I would agree not that you're a lazy person. I would agree with the fact
that the early being motivated, being inspired, being kept to a commitment by others initially,
not that there's, you know, you can always change. So if you didn't have that upbringing,
you can still do it. You can make the decision. Yeah. But you've seen it, you've experienced it.
And yes, it takes a little bit of work, but you can get there.
And what we were talking about earlier, which is why we decided to record this, is that not like
the act of self love, it's the having that commitment to your future self. Yeah. So whilst
it's easy to lie in bed today or not go to the gym, and thank you again for making me go to the gym.
Whips always work. We weren't talking about that.
Is the fact that I will be stronger and healthier and more... Live longer. Yeah,
live longer. Live healthier longer. Because I didn't do one line. Yeah. And people will say,
oh, but it's only one day, one day. But the thing is that one day becomes very easy to turn into
more days. And again, this is said so many times by other podcasters that it's really about loving
your future self. Yeah. So loving your future self means doing the hard work now so that your
future self benefits. Yeah. So the discipline, you just write it on the wall. And I think the
last podcast you talked about how changing your language so that rather than I'm bad at remembering
names, I used to be bad at remembering names, but every day I am getting better at remembering names.
Well, listen to me. It's the same with discipline that, oh, I'm lazy. I don't do that. I can't swim.
Whatever. Is the, I used to not be able to, but now I am every day. So it's that believe, believing
in... What was it that we said? It was about the actual... Oh yeah. So it's positive thinking with...
So it's... Accurate thinking with a positive bent. No, it's accurate thinking with a positive bent
or a positive slant. Yeah. Yeah. So I like teaching people that you need to make I am statements.
Yes. Instead of I'm going to the gym, I have to, I want to, I should, I go to the gym. So it's a
statement that this is what I do every morning. Yeah. And it reminds me of a podcast that I think
we recorded once, but we didn't get to publish it because the actual technology failed, but about
the difference between having goals and having rules. Yeah. Do you remember we recorded that?
We couldn't actually publish it. Yeah. And so my rule now is rather than a goal, rather than
something I aspire to do, my rule is that when I wake up, I have a cold shower. Yes. It wakes me up.
It fills me with energy. I then go and grab our, our morning... Live forever drink. Live forever
drink and, and get the coffee machine started for when we're finishing our exercise. And,
and so I have rules that I live by, not goals. And so this is an interesting way to become
disciplined. I'll, I'll give you a, just a bit of a segue here. So I spoke to somebody about their
challenge with alcohol and they said that they, you know, they have a glass or two or three or
four every evening to wind down, to, to de-stress. And they said that they have difficulty reducing
the amount of alcohol that they have. And I said, well, why don't you create a rule? Figure it
about your goals. Figure it about having a goal. Figure it about desiring to drink less alcohol.
Why don't you make a rule and just state the rule very clearly to yourself and to others.
I have one glass now. That's my rule. I have one glass. Yeah. And then once, once you get that
habit and that discipline, then you say, I only drink Fridays, Saturdays and Sundays. And again,
I have one glass and I haven't spoken to them since. So I'll have to reach out and see where
they're at. But it's something that I, I can't remember who, who had mentioned it, but instead
of having goals, create rules. And that's where your discipline can come from. My rule is that
when I wake up, I do 10 squats or 10 sit-ups or 10 push-ups. Or my rule is I have a cold shower.
My rule is that after dinner, I take the family for a walk. And that's, that's one way to be
disciplined because it's easy to follow rules. It's more challenging to follow a goal. Well,
it's in the future. It's a distant thing. And a rule is now, isn't it? My rule is not,
oh, at some stage I want to. Yeah. Yeah.
So discipline is a way of loving your future self because the actions that you take today
are going to benefit you in the future. So it's like getting in a time machine, going forward,
10, 20, 30, 40 years, however many years you've got left and giving that person a hug and saying,
Hey, I've got you. I've got you, mate. I'm going to, I'm going to make sure that you're a healthy
person, that you're a well-read person, that you're a person that has a good circle of friends. I've
got you. I know, I know you're 40 or 50 years in the future, or you're 10 years in the future,
or you're even five years in the future, but I've got you, mate. So if we could all spend some time
doing that, so close our eyes, project ourselves 10 years in the future, a few more wrinkles,
a few more gray hairs, but walk up to that version of you, put your arm around their shoulders and
say, Hey, I've got you. Yeah. Yeah. You're welcome. Yeah. And get a high five. Oh, thank you so much
for, for giving me the strength. Thank you so much for giving me this vitality. Thank you so much for
giving me this, this wealth because you were disciplined in saving and get a high five from
that future self. That's what discipline is. It's about projecting into the future and seeing who
do you want to be? Doing it even if you don't want to, because it's for the greater good ultimately.
Yeah. And the greater good is you. Yes. I haven't gone down this path as deeply as what I am now
in my mind, Michelle. I'm actually visualizing myself as an 80, 90 year old man. And I'm thinking,
well, what sort of experience do I want to have at that stage of my life? Do I want to be old and
decrepit and walking around on a cane or even in a wheelchair? Or do I want to be that youthful
80, 90 year old who's still competing in, you know, master's tournaments and, you know, going
for long walks in the morning, that sort of stuff. Yeah. No, that's, that's the goal. And I think
with the fact that we can live longer, it's, I know we've discussed it before over our morning
coffee out the front, but it's that thing of, you know, you don't want the slow decline to death.
We want the live life to the full and just drop off one day. Drop off one day, but at our peak
fitness. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. The other thing I've heard about discipline is that discipline
equals freedom. Yes. Yeah. And this is a great concept. So for example, if you are disciplined
and you get your head down, your ass up, and you do the tasks that you have to do, that you,
that are a high priority for you and you do them as soon as you can, then you will no longer be the
slave to the urgency trap. Yeah. Where you're always then thinking about it. So you don't
actually get the freedom of having done it, like the freedom of it not being on your mind. Yeah.
So the urgency trap is that we often put things off until they become urgent. Then we do them,
we do them under pressure and we convince ourselves, Hey, look at me, I'm working better
on depression. No, you're just working. It's the pressure that's making you work. And so that busy
trap, that stressful busy trap, that'll go away if you have the discipline of doing the tasks
early when they're not urgent. So that's it. That's an example of freedom. Just chipping away.
Chipping away. Being productive is avoiding the slavery of the urgency trap. Yeah. I have to say,
I'm impressed with the effort that my son has done recently for an assignment at school. And
he was working on it for probably four or five weeks. So he's putting in the hard yards early,
not doing it last. Yeah. And it was due last week and it was easy. He didn't stress about it.
He had fun because he was just doing half an hour a day. And yeah, he came up with that himself.
I was really proud of him. That just how he did it and how he tackled it. It doesn't matter about
what the market is ultimately. It's the fact that he, he learned to do that and yeah, it was easy
for him. So what's another example of freedom? So discipline of eating healthy. Yeah. Is then
going to avoid you being to the slave of ill health and poor health. Or the diet trap and all
that. The, the yo-yo up and down. Yeah. It's the, yeah. Where you then constantly thinking about
food. It's just like, no, I eat healthy. Yeah. My rule is I eat healthy. Yeah. I eat things that
grow and live. I don't eat things that are processed. For example, that would be a good rule.
Yeah. Yeah. So the discipline of eating healthy avoids the slavery of obesity and ill health.
What's another one? How's this? The discipline of having good quality time and date nights with
your partner. Yes. Rather than in front of the telly or on your phones or that sort of non,
being not present. Yeah. Avoids the slavery of a damaged relationship. Yeah. And the cost of
divorce or whatever, ultimately. That's it. That's it. What's another one? So the discipline of.
Connection with your kids. Yes. Sometimes it's really hard if you've had a long day,
like a big day at work or a long day or, or something's happened. Yeah. To switch off and
give time to your kids or to, you know, your loved ones and, or friends. If you don't keep in touch
with friends, it's, it's a discipline. You, you need to make time to do it. And it shouldn't,
a lot of people say, oh, you shouldn't have to like, if it's, if it's real love or real friendship,
it doesn't matter. You have to work. Someone has to work on it. Absolutely. So, um, and if you're
both busy, it can just go by the wayside. So that avoids being a slave to loneliness.
It's so true, isn't it? The discipline is freedom because without discipline, you will be the slave
to a consequence that you wouldn't want in your life. So what are you going to do to make sure
that you don't entertain those ideas and not going to the gym in the morning, Michelle? I go to the
gym. You do go to the gym. Yes. And, uh, you're lifting lots of weights at the moment. I know,
I know. I am strong. I'm impressed with my strength. I'm never going to arm wrestle you.
I'm impressed by how much my strength has increased this year. Because you've been disciplined
to increase the weights as you go. Yeah. Yeah. You're not just maintaining health,
you're, you're improving health, improving strength. Well, the kids are getting bigger
and heavier, so I need to be able to lift them. Yeah. Well, my son's regrettably gone past the
stage where I can lift him and throw him in the pool. Yes. He now does that to me.
It's a discipline. It's freedom. It's loving your future self and it's you thinking about
how, how do you want to turn up for your future self? Yeah. It's the rules rather than goals.
Yeah. I like that one. Yeah. Cheers. Well, that was fun. That was fun. You're such a clown.
You're such a clown. Lady captain. And who's going to listen to this? Maybe our moms. Thanks mom.