1
00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:06,640
G'day, leaders. In this episode, we talk about goals and routines. We discuss why goals don't

2
00:00:06,640 --> 00:00:10,240
create happiness. They're important, they give you direction, but they don't create happiness.

3
00:00:10,240 --> 00:00:14,320
And we talk about routines and some of our favorite routines. Enjoy.

4
00:00:15,200 --> 00:00:18,720
Why do it count backwards? Are they? We're now recording.

5
00:00:19,920 --> 00:00:21,760
What? Hello, captain.

6
00:00:21,760 --> 00:00:29,120
What do I say? Come fly with me, let's fly, let's fly.

7
00:00:32,240 --> 00:00:37,760
What are we going to talk about? I don't know. So, leadership, life and everything else.

8
00:00:37,760 --> 00:00:44,240
Yeah. And we're live.

9
00:00:44,240 --> 00:00:46,800
No, we're recording. That was a good one, that one.

10
00:00:46,800 --> 00:00:55,520
Yeah, okay. I can see in the middle of a boxing ring with that one. Michelle, I need you.

11
00:00:56,960 --> 00:00:59,360
We had this moment this morning. In the pool.

12
00:00:59,360 --> 00:01:04,480
In the pool, we went for a swim and Michelle said, I need you. I said, I'm here for you.

13
00:01:04,480 --> 00:01:10,720
And she said, no, I need you. I said, I'm here for you. I said, she said, no, I need you. I said,

14
00:01:10,720 --> 00:01:18,640
I'm always here for you. And she said, no, I hit you with my knee. I hadn't even noticed.

15
00:01:20,240 --> 00:01:25,360
We are absolute lunatics. We laugh at the smallest thing.

16
00:01:26,560 --> 00:01:31,360
Yeah, okay. And all we'd have is coffee. Yes, exactly. And we're still having it now.

17
00:01:31,360 --> 00:01:32,960
Yes. Yes. Hey, Michelle.

18
00:01:32,960 --> 00:01:34,640
Hi, Guy. What are we talking about today?

19
00:01:34,640 --> 00:01:42,880
Excuse me. So one thing I wanted to talk about was at your last keynote that I was in the audience

20
00:01:42,880 --> 00:01:51,120
for, you were talking about how goals are not the key to happiness. Can you explain that?

21
00:01:51,120 --> 00:01:56,960
Yeah, I learned this. Oh, cracky voice this one. Excuse me. I learned this from a cartoonist,

22
00:01:57,680 --> 00:02:02,640
you know, the Dilbert comic. Scott Adams, the cartoonist who does the Dilbert comic.

23
00:02:02,640 --> 00:02:10,240
I read it. He said this, that goals don't create happiness. And I now agree. The more I've looked

24
00:02:10,240 --> 00:02:14,000
at it, the more I've looked at this quote and the way he thinks about it is, yeah, it's really quite

25
00:02:14,000 --> 00:02:19,120
accurate. So when I was young, I was a very goal-driven man, you know, you were too. You

26
00:02:19,120 --> 00:02:24,240
wanted to be a pilot and you got there eventually through all of those hurdles. And I had all these

27
00:02:24,240 --> 00:02:29,040
goals that I wanted to achieve in my life. At one point in time, something triggered me and I started

28
00:02:29,040 --> 00:02:33,520
to set all these goals. I had all these goals and working towards these goals. But Scott Adams

29
00:02:34,000 --> 00:02:37,360
pointed out that goals don't create happiness. The reason why they don't create happiness is

30
00:02:37,360 --> 00:02:43,040
because 99.9% of the time you're not there. They're in the future. They're at some point

31
00:02:43,040 --> 00:02:47,920
in the future. And so when you spend a lot of energy focusing on the future, as we've discussed

32
00:02:47,920 --> 00:02:53,120
before, time starts to speed up. Not in the present. No, you're not in the present. You're

33
00:02:53,120 --> 00:02:57,680
trying to drag the future towards you. And you get into this mindset, I'll be happy when.

34
00:02:57,680 --> 00:03:02,400
I'll be happy when. I'll be happy when. No, you won't because when never happens, you get there.

35
00:03:02,400 --> 00:03:05,200
You already move past it. Now you've got to be happy. You've got to set another goal. You've

36
00:03:05,200 --> 00:03:09,200
got to redirect. So goals don't create happiness because you're not there. And you get into this

37
00:03:09,200 --> 00:03:14,480
mindset, I'll be happy when. So you want to bring the future towards you quicker. So which means

38
00:03:14,480 --> 00:03:21,600
you're not in the present. You're not in the moment. And all they do is create direction.

39
00:03:21,600 --> 00:03:28,480
Yeah. So could you reframe it as purpose? Like a goal gives you purpose and a direction, not

40
00:03:29,120 --> 00:03:35,120
the final outcome. So it's the enjoying the journey and being in the journey rather than

41
00:03:35,680 --> 00:03:39,680
that the goal is everything. Yeah. I guess we've all heard this before. It's the journey that

42
00:03:39,680 --> 00:03:43,520
matters, not the destination, all that sort of stuff. But that's the problem with goals is that

43
00:03:43,520 --> 00:03:49,280
they don't tell you that the goals are there to help you make decisions and move towards them and

44
00:03:49,280 --> 00:03:55,520
give you direction. But they, excuse me, straight of my note, I sound like Barry White. You swallowed

45
00:03:55,520 --> 00:04:01,440
a lot of pool water. I did swallow too much pool water this morning. So the goals give you direction,

46
00:04:01,440 --> 00:04:09,200
but they don't give you, it's not where happiness lies. It actually made me think about a couple of

47
00:04:09,200 --> 00:04:16,480
guys, and I'm saying guys, meaning the group of pilots, that all they were interested in was

48
00:04:16,480 --> 00:04:24,800
getting into an airline, typically Qantas or going overseas. And so all of the general aviation

49
00:04:24,800 --> 00:04:31,760
flying that they did, they hated because the goal was so many hours so that they could then apply

50
00:04:31,760 --> 00:04:38,000
and get into Qantas or get into another airline. And which was really sad because some of my best

51
00:04:38,000 --> 00:04:45,600
flying was in general aviation and being in shitty little aircraft and ones that had things

52
00:04:45,600 --> 00:04:53,280
missing and obviously not engines or wings, but instruments missing or you got to fly and

53
00:04:53,280 --> 00:05:01,200
contour fly or chat with people or go fast, go slow, stall, whatever. That was some of the great

54
00:05:01,200 --> 00:05:08,800
flying. And these people that just hated it and turned up begrudgingly just to get the hours to

55
00:05:08,800 --> 00:05:16,800
then get to the airlines. I would love to be able to ask them, are you happy now? And did you find

56
00:05:16,800 --> 00:05:22,240
happiness once you got into? What a great example. Yeah, I love that. Because we've often spoken

57
00:05:22,240 --> 00:05:27,280
about how you had this, I'm not sure who gave you the mindset, either you could fly a thousand,

58
00:05:27,280 --> 00:05:32,480
a hundred hours or a thousand hours. So I was told, because quite often when you did

59
00:05:32,480 --> 00:05:40,000
freight flying or charter flying, even instructing that you could do one hour a thousand times. So

60
00:05:40,000 --> 00:05:45,840
that is just going there and do the same thing over and over and over or a thousand hours each.

61
00:05:47,120 --> 00:05:52,880
So every time mix it up, look for something else, be curious like we discussed in a previous podcast

62
00:05:52,880 --> 00:05:58,880
and look at different ways to fly that route, different altitudes, different power settings.

63
00:05:58,880 --> 00:06:03,760
Did you have that choice? You could actually have different routes, you could fly different

64
00:06:03,760 --> 00:06:10,240
altitudes and stuff. You could kind of, not airline flying, but you could. And also it just

65
00:06:10,240 --> 00:06:15,520
gave you, you looked out the window and you saw landmarks that you may not have noticed before.

66
00:06:16,480 --> 00:06:21,040
So it was just mixing it up. So you're flying in the present rather than with a goal to get to

67
00:06:21,040 --> 00:06:26,240
an airline. Absolutely, because the weather's not the same always and the fuel load, the payload

68
00:06:26,240 --> 00:06:32,000
weren't the same. So just try different things safely obviously, but it gave you your envelope

69
00:06:32,000 --> 00:06:37,360
of comfort expanded. And I'd guess, this is just a guess, that those pilots that were just aiming

70
00:06:37,360 --> 00:06:43,840
to become an airline captain or an airline first officer or whatever and they hated the path to

71
00:06:43,840 --> 00:06:48,960
get there, that creates a pattern. Yes. Right. And then when they're actually there, how do they

72
00:06:48,960 --> 00:06:53,760
then suddenly switch into happiness? Oh, I'm a pilot, look at me. I think I've actually mentioned

73
00:06:53,760 --> 00:07:03,680
this previously that what do you call a group of pilots? A winch. So it wasn't fun to hang out in

74
00:07:03,680 --> 00:07:12,000
the crew room sometimes. Okay, so goals don't create happiness, they just give us direction,

75
00:07:12,000 --> 00:07:18,400
which is important in life. That's right. But we've discovered a way that as part of the journey,

76
00:07:18,400 --> 00:07:24,720
to ensure happiness and ease throughout your life, throughout your day, even when things

77
00:07:24,720 --> 00:07:28,880
aren't going so great. That's it. You don't focus on goals, you focus on your routines.

78
00:07:30,320 --> 00:07:35,600
So what you do every day is going to be the determiner. Determiner, is that even a term?

79
00:07:37,920 --> 00:07:41,440
The determinator. That will determine the quality of your life.

80
00:07:41,440 --> 00:07:47,440
I just reminded of a quote I like, if a man knows not what harbour he seeks, any wind is the right

81
00:07:47,440 --> 00:07:53,040
wind. So goals don't create happiness, but they're very important because they give you the direction

82
00:07:53,040 --> 00:07:56,160
that you're going to head in life. You don't just wander aimlessly, but they're not where

83
00:07:56,160 --> 00:08:00,800
happiness lies. Where happiness lies is in routines. Yeah. It's what you do every day.

84
00:08:00,800 --> 00:08:06,400
That's right. And this is what Scott Adams was saying, the Dilbert comic, that if you focus on

85
00:08:06,400 --> 00:08:11,440
little things that you do every day that bring pleasure into your life, that's where happiness

86
00:08:11,440 --> 00:08:17,040
lies. Yeah. And so you and I both have very strong routines, don't we? We do. We do. We listen to

87
00:08:17,040 --> 00:08:23,680
experts. That's right. And I think if you can tie it to something, so we're teaching the kids at

88
00:08:23,680 --> 00:08:31,200
the moment that when you tie it, link it to something else. So we used to have action flows

89
00:08:31,200 --> 00:08:37,200
and in the aircraft so that if you forgot one thing, you had muscle memory basically. Yeah.

90
00:08:37,200 --> 00:08:44,160
And we're helping the kids build this by creating routines and attaching something to something,

91
00:08:44,160 --> 00:08:51,040
like to a previous action. So trigger the routine, to trigger habits. Yeah. So we,

92
00:08:51,840 --> 00:08:57,120
first thing, cuddle. Yeah. The very first thing, cuddle. Yeah. When you wake up in the morning.

93
00:08:57,120 --> 00:09:02,880
Because it raises oxytocin levels. Yeah. Yeah. So let's go through all of our routines. Hugging.

94
00:09:02,880 --> 00:09:06,880
We're both voracious huggers. Yes. We hug as many people as we can because-

95
00:09:06,880 --> 00:09:10,480
Neighbours, friends. Neighbours, friends. Yeah. Oh, I had a great hug the other day. I was

96
00:09:11,120 --> 00:09:16,160
coming home from work and one of our neighbours had been overseas and he was standing there talking

97
00:09:16,160 --> 00:09:21,040
to another neighbour of ours and I said, oh, this is my opportunity. So I ran up and I gave them both

98
00:09:21,040 --> 00:09:25,680
a big hug and immediately you feel better because your body is much better. And so I was like,

99
00:09:25,680 --> 00:09:29,440
immediately you feel better because your body produces oxytocin. We've discussed oxytocin,

100
00:09:29,440 --> 00:09:33,600
haven't we? I think we have. In another podcast. I know we speak about it all the time, but if you

101
00:09:33,600 --> 00:09:38,320
don't know, oxytocin is the hormone that's released into your body when you're feeling love and it

102
00:09:38,320 --> 00:09:44,560
helps you feel connection. And it's the happy chemical, the love drug, the moral molecule,

103
00:09:44,560 --> 00:09:49,920
the empathy chem- it's got lots of nicknames, but it's a feel-good chemical and mothers get a big

104
00:09:49,920 --> 00:09:54,480
rush of it when they give birth. Yes. So they'll bond with the child. So hugging is in our routine

105
00:09:54,480 --> 00:10:03,360
every day. So we hug, then roll out of bed and make the bed. So if you're one of those people

106
00:10:03,360 --> 00:10:07,600
that like I was when I was a young man, when you get out of bed in the morning, make the bed.

107
00:10:07,600 --> 00:10:12,000
Why do we make the bed? So that we can feel like we've achieved something and if we've achieved

108
00:10:12,000 --> 00:10:15,440
nothing else, at least you have a made bed in the evening. There's a famous video on the internet

109
00:10:15,440 --> 00:10:19,040
about this, isn't there? Yeah. Because when you make the bed, you get a hit of dopamine, the reward

110
00:10:19,040 --> 00:10:24,400
chemical. And what you shouldn't do, which is what the majority of people do, and I constantly,

111
00:10:24,400 --> 00:10:28,400
constantly talk to people about this, don't grab your phone first thing in the morning. No. Yeah,

112
00:10:28,400 --> 00:10:32,720
this is all over the internet. Well, what we actually, I missed a step because we do breath

113
00:10:32,720 --> 00:10:38,720
work. Yes. So wake up, have a hug, then do breath work. And people are now getting the picture there.

114
00:10:41,040 --> 00:10:47,280
Do breath work. Yeah. Three to four rounds. Yeah. So we do Wim Hof breath work. Yep. Yep. So did the

115
00:10:47,280 --> 00:10:52,480
Wim Hof course quite a few years ago now. Fell in love with this man. He's just the most amazing

116
00:10:52,480 --> 00:10:58,720
man. But if you've never done breath work, it's you breathe powerfully into your stomach, your chest,

117
00:10:58,720 --> 00:11:04,800
and then into your head. Like that's a power breath. You do that 30 or 40 times. You oxygenate

118
00:11:04,800 --> 00:11:09,360
your blood, but then on the 30th, 40th or 50th breath, depending on how long you want to go for,

119
00:11:09,360 --> 00:11:13,440
you just blow out all of your air. So you've got no air in your lungs and then just hold your breath.

120
00:11:13,440 --> 00:11:17,120
Mm. We can do it just over three minutes. What do you experience when you do it?

121
00:11:18,240 --> 00:11:25,680
So I generally go into a meditative state and I find that when I do that, I can, my breath hold

122
00:11:25,680 --> 00:11:33,200
lasts longer. If I'm thinking in my head about holding my breath, I start to feel like I need

123
00:11:33,200 --> 00:11:40,640
to take a breath. So I do a body scan and start at my toes and anything that's hurting or I'm

124
00:11:40,640 --> 00:11:49,200
feeling pressure or anything really, I just work on the breath there, the oxygen that I'm imagining

125
00:11:49,200 --> 00:11:57,040
in my blood being directed to there and then work my way back up my body to my head. I have fallen

126
00:11:57,040 --> 00:12:12,720
asleep sometimes. I've started snoring. And then it can become almost like I'd imagine hallucination.

127
00:12:12,720 --> 00:12:18,640
Yeah, I've seen psychedelic colors in my mind when I'm doing the breath hold. So 30 or 40 power

128
00:12:18,640 --> 00:12:22,640
breaths and then making sure that you're not blowing the air out. So you're not hyperventilating. So

129
00:12:22,640 --> 00:12:27,120
you're just releasing. So you're not actually pushing it out. And then that breath hold and

130
00:12:27,120 --> 00:12:32,000
in that breath hold, it's such a beautiful meditative state, isn't it? But then when you

131
00:12:32,000 --> 00:12:37,920
desperately need to breathe in, don't. You keep holding until your body starts to shake a little

132
00:12:37,920 --> 00:12:41,920
bit because then what happens is you get a dump of adrenaline into your body. And adrenaline is very,

133
00:12:41,920 --> 00:12:47,680
very healthy for humans. So my routine will always involve trying to get adrenaline into my body

134
00:12:47,680 --> 00:12:52,800
artificially through breath hold because when your adrenaline goes up, your immunity goes up, it

135
00:12:52,800 --> 00:12:56,560
triggers your immune system and a bunch of other things. It's actually quite a healthy thing.

136
00:12:56,560 --> 00:13:01,520
I learned adrenaline. And then when you desperately need to breathe, you then breathe in and hold it

137
00:13:01,520 --> 00:13:06,800
for 15 seconds, squeezing the air up into your head. And that's another explosion of color and

138
00:13:06,800 --> 00:13:13,200
vision that happens with eyes closed also when you get that oxygen hit. And then so then after

139
00:13:13,200 --> 00:13:18,400
we've done that, we three or four rounds, three or four rounds. That's right. Then we roll out of bed,

140
00:13:18,400 --> 00:13:24,480
make the bed. Yeah. Cause if you grab your phone first thing, which a lot of people do,

141
00:13:25,280 --> 00:13:29,040
your brain's getting a hit of dopamine, the reward chemical from the phone.

142
00:13:29,040 --> 00:13:32,240
And now your brain thinks, oh, that's where dopamine comes from. So you can start grabbing

143
00:13:32,240 --> 00:13:37,520
your phone, you start swapping and scrolling and it's, it's not a very healthy thing. Emails can

144
00:13:37,520 --> 00:13:42,000
wait. Yes, exactly. And that Instagram post doesn't really need to be looked at the first

145
00:13:42,000 --> 00:13:46,000
thing in the morning. No, that's right. You don't want to train your brain that you get dopamine

146
00:13:46,000 --> 00:13:50,160
from it, from the phone. You want to train your brain that you get dopamine from activities that

147
00:13:50,160 --> 00:13:56,800
are value, like making your bed, whatever it is. Well, then we grab, we have some lemon water. Yes.

148
00:13:56,800 --> 00:14:02,320
We squeeze some salt if we, if we think of it, squeeze, squeeze a lemon into water and then drink

149
00:14:02,320 --> 00:14:08,240
a large, large glass of water or more. Cause when you sleep, you dehydrate. Yeah. Then we go for a

150
00:14:08,240 --> 00:14:14,640
walk and up hills backwards. Cause we've got dodgy knees. We read somewhere that it helps your knees.

151
00:14:14,640 --> 00:14:19,360
So my mate Brett knows about my knees. He had to carry my stuff, some of my stuff across

152
00:14:19,360 --> 00:14:23,600
Tasmania cause my knees blew out. Yeah. And a big hike and I showed that to Brett, the,

153
00:14:23,600 --> 00:14:28,480
the legend that he is. Um, yeah. So we walked backwards up, up hills and it's done wonders for

154
00:14:28,480 --> 00:14:33,120
our knees. If you've got bad knees, walk backwards up hills. Yeah. It's hard. And there are some steep

155
00:14:33,120 --> 00:14:39,680
hills around where we live and then, uh, home to you make the world's best coffee. Thank you. So

156
00:14:39,680 --> 00:14:44,880
we sit on the front veranda, read a book, read a book, have coffee, each read a different book.

157
00:14:44,880 --> 00:14:48,800
Yeah. And we often start talking to each other because you've read something in the book and

158
00:14:48,800 --> 00:14:53,520
you want to tell you, Hey, have you heard this? That's right. Yeah. And what do you think about

159
00:14:53,520 --> 00:14:58,080
this? And that's, that's magic that time, 20 to 30 minutes of just reading every morning with a

160
00:14:58,080 --> 00:15:02,560
coffee, sitting at the front, saying hi to neighbors that are walking past. There's one particular

161
00:15:02,560 --> 00:15:08,480
neighbor and I don't know if he does it now as a challenge, but he runs to the ferry at the end

162
00:15:08,480 --> 00:15:13,520
of the street and we watch and he's got young kids and we think, okay, he was running late,

163
00:15:13,520 --> 00:15:19,920
but every day now he runs to the, in his suit. And it's like, maybe one or two minutes earlier.

164
00:15:19,920 --> 00:15:24,720
I want to talk about somebody with a coffee in the book. Yes. Phil Goldson. Ah, yes. We met him in

165
00:15:24,720 --> 00:15:32,400
Darwin. So Phil Goldson was the beautiful man who brought the international men's day to Australia

166
00:15:32,400 --> 00:15:38,960
over 20 years ago, I think under just on 20 years ago. Yeah. It was a while back. Yep. Okay. And

167
00:15:38,960 --> 00:15:45,840
Phil was at the men's forum that I spoke at up in, up in Darwin and the most gorgeous human being,

168
00:15:45,840 --> 00:15:50,720
like isn't he the present, his presence. Like I collect heroes. He's now a new one of mine.

169
00:15:50,720 --> 00:15:57,040
Yep. Um, but yeah, he says that he and his wife, he still hasn't perfected the coffee for his wife,

170
00:15:57,040 --> 00:16:03,040
but they sit down and they have a coffee and, and read a book and, um, they call them gold nuggets.

171
00:16:03,040 --> 00:16:08,000
Yeah. Which is great. Golden nuggets throughout your day. And he was saying that he plants them

172
00:16:08,000 --> 00:16:15,120
because he has previously suffered from depression and he told the audience, all of the wonderful men

173
00:16:15,120 --> 00:16:20,720
that were in the audience, how it never truly goes away. It's always in the background. However,

174
00:16:20,720 --> 00:16:27,200
if you set yourself up for success every day by having these nuggets, even when he's low,

175
00:16:27,200 --> 00:16:33,760
he's got that to look forward to. And again, because that's tied to happiness for him,

176
00:16:34,560 --> 00:16:42,960
it can then either nullify, like neutralize the, the, the low feeling, um, and then start to give

177
00:16:42,960 --> 00:16:49,600
him purpose throughout the day. He's doing something intentionally to fight off the effects of depression

178
00:16:49,600 --> 00:16:55,040
through activities that bring dope in me and serotonin and all of the feel good chemicals.

179
00:16:55,040 --> 00:16:58,960
So he spoke about how he looked forward to making this coffee. I have the same feeling

180
00:16:58,960 --> 00:17:03,040
when I'm sitting there at the coffee machine and I'm trying to do the fancy patterns in the milk,

181
00:17:03,040 --> 00:17:08,320
I'm thinking, Oh, what's he going to think about this? It's like looking for pictures in clouds.

182
00:17:08,320 --> 00:17:13,440
It brings great joy to me to feel like I'm doing something for another person when I'm making them

183
00:17:13,440 --> 00:17:18,240
a beautiful coffee and then sitting there reading a book and discussing that book and just checking

184
00:17:18,240 --> 00:17:23,360
in. I love being the recipient of your coffee art. I will make coffee for you whenever you want one.

185
00:17:23,360 --> 00:17:30,080
Thank you. Yeah. Yeah. And then, um, the next thing that's in my routine, uh, and I've encouraged so

186
00:17:30,080 --> 00:17:34,720
many people to do this, but so many people look at me, get, nah, not doing that one, a cold shower.

187
00:17:34,720 --> 00:17:39,600
Yeah. Yeah. So I have, have you standard warm shower, like everyone have your standard warm

188
00:17:39,600 --> 00:17:43,760
shower. And if you haven't looked up Wim Hof yet, if you haven't heard of Wim Hof, where have you

189
00:17:43,760 --> 00:17:51,520
been? Um, but I did his course years ago now. And so you have a, you have a warm shower. And then at

190
00:17:51,520 --> 00:17:56,880
the end, take a big deep breath, turn all the hot off, all the cold on. And as the cold water hits

191
00:17:56,880 --> 00:18:03,600
your forehead, breathe out and relax. And what happens is your body will start to release cold

192
00:18:03,600 --> 00:18:10,240
shock proteins, which, which fight off the effects of stress and inflammation. And it's incredibly

193
00:18:10,240 --> 00:18:14,000
healthy for you. And when you get out of that shower, out of that cold shower, and especially

194
00:18:14,000 --> 00:18:18,800
in winter, winter is so good for this. You feel alive. Your body starts to heat itself back up

195
00:18:18,800 --> 00:18:24,960
again. You get these, this rush of dopamine. Your brain is clearer than it's ever been before. And

196
00:18:24,960 --> 00:18:30,240
you feel like you're radiating heat. You've just got out of a cold shower, but you feel like you're

197
00:18:30,240 --> 00:18:35,520
radiating heat. And a lot of people go, Oh, I could never do that. But they're focusing on

198
00:18:35,520 --> 00:18:40,480
that initial feeling of the cold water hitting them. But they're not focusing on how they're

199
00:18:40,480 --> 00:18:44,160
going to feel when they get out of the shower. And I keep saying, just do it, just do it once or twice.

200
00:18:44,160 --> 00:18:48,400
And when, when you get to the third time, your body will be craving for this.

201
00:18:48,400 --> 00:18:55,840
Well, we watched that Netflix special with the kids and it was Chris Hensworth. Yeah. And he was

202
00:18:55,840 --> 00:19:04,480
doing the cold, the swimming. And we do cold plunge occasionally at the skin bar in Roselle.

203
00:19:04,480 --> 00:19:11,600
That's right. Yes. The bath house. So, um, that I struggle with the cold shower. And however,

204
00:19:11,600 --> 00:19:16,400
the kids have all started doing the cold showers now. And I'm thinking, okay, if they can do it,

205
00:19:16,400 --> 00:19:22,800
I can do it. Every single person that I've recommended it to that has done it has said

206
00:19:22,800 --> 00:19:27,120
it's changed their life. Well, I enjoyed it when we were in Darwin because it was the cold water.

207
00:19:27,120 --> 00:19:32,320
It's not cold. Darwin water is not cold. I'm so sorry, Darwin. You cannot do this. You've got to

208
00:19:32,320 --> 00:19:36,000
go and get your ice bags from the server and throw them in the bath. But York showers, like

209
00:19:36,000 --> 00:19:40,800
pure cold in Darwin is like our warm in Sydney. I didn't mind those cold showers in Darwin.

210
00:19:40,800 --> 00:19:45,200
I felt like I was a hero. That's your definition of cold, Michelle. We need to talk about temperature.

211
00:19:46,400 --> 00:19:51,600
I pumped myself up there. It's like, yes, I'm doing cold showers. Yeah. You're sitting in a lukewarm

212
00:19:51,600 --> 00:19:58,000
cold. Yeah. It's like the pool. Yeah. But at the skin, shout out to Sam and Matt at the skin bar.

213
00:19:58,000 --> 00:20:02,320
Yes, they're not sponsors. No, but they're the friends of ours. We go up to the skin bar in

214
00:20:02,320 --> 00:20:09,440
Roselle and do our ice bath. They've got two baths. Yes. Two degrees and five degrees. I go the five

215
00:20:09,440 --> 00:20:18,400
degree. I do the two. Yes. You're a psychopath. Now. Yeah. I started in the five. Yeah. It's the

216
00:20:18,400 --> 00:20:25,520
amount of, oh, feel good, everything after doing the ice bath, two rounds of the ice bath. That's

217
00:20:25,520 --> 00:20:31,920
extraordinary. Wow. Yeah. My productivity goes through the roof. Yeah. It's just my mental clarity.

218
00:20:31,920 --> 00:20:36,960
Yeah. Yeah. That's right. I can go through data and fire off emails. So if you think about three

219
00:20:36,960 --> 00:20:42,320
minutes of what people perceive to be pain, it's not pain now for me. My body now screams at me to

220
00:20:42,320 --> 00:20:47,600
do it. I love it. But you get into the cold water, you slow your breathing down, you connect your

221
00:20:47,600 --> 00:20:53,440
mind to your body and you just sit there for three minutes. You get out of that cold bath.

222
00:20:53,440 --> 00:20:59,200
That's two degrees. You're in iced water. And then when your body starts to heat itself back up,

223
00:20:59,200 --> 00:21:05,200
the dump of dopamine that comes into your body then stays in there for two hours is extraordinary.

224
00:21:05,200 --> 00:21:12,720
Well, productivity wise, I find I go from being reactive to being proactive. Because of the ice

225
00:21:12,720 --> 00:21:20,320
bath. It sounds a bit silly, but it is that clarity of mind, but also just that feeling of calm and

226
00:21:20,320 --> 00:21:28,480
peace. And so rather than being up in my throat and in the top of my chest with energy, it is

227
00:21:28,480 --> 00:21:33,760
very calm. And it's almost like you can see everything happening around you and you can

228
00:21:33,760 --> 00:21:40,960
selectively pick and choose your reaction to it rather than just being like, ah. Yeah. I'm aiming

229
00:21:40,960 --> 00:21:45,680
for at least three ice baths a week now. Yeah. That's my routine. So routines aren't just what

230
00:21:45,680 --> 00:21:49,680
you do every day. You can spread them out over the week or the fortnight or the month even. Yeah. So

231
00:21:49,680 --> 00:21:55,920
it sounds like we do a lot, but we get up early. We do. So 5am, 4.30, 5am to get all this in. Yeah.

232
00:21:55,920 --> 00:22:00,960
And yeah, it's, and we're lucky the kids, the kids can kind of get themselves ready for school.

233
00:22:00,960 --> 00:22:05,840
Yeah, make their lunches and we're at that age now. So the saunas are amazing now, aren't they?

234
00:22:05,840 --> 00:22:10,480
Yeah. I used to struggle being in a sauna. I didn't like being overheated. It was always

235
00:22:10,480 --> 00:22:14,800
an uncomfortable feeling because your body's gone into hermetic stress. But the research into

236
00:22:14,800 --> 00:22:21,440
saunas, and I learned this from Dr Rhonda Patrick online. She's an amazing scientist, but she said

237
00:22:21,440 --> 00:22:26,320
that the studies show that if you're in a sauna five times a week for 20 minutes each time at a

238
00:22:26,320 --> 00:22:31,280
certain temperature, you reduce your risk of all cause mortality. So all causes of death by over 40%.

239
00:22:31,280 --> 00:22:38,000
I'm going to live to be a thousand. Yes. You love your saunas in 20 minutes. And yeah, I was in one

240
00:22:38,000 --> 00:22:42,640
the other day and I've, I find it very hard to slow my brain down. That's why I got into meditation,

241
00:22:42,640 --> 00:22:47,520
which we'll talk about in a moment, but you do the ice bath and you get into the sauna. Once you don't

242
00:22:47,520 --> 00:22:51,440
jump straight back, well, I don't jump straight back in. I let my body dump the dopamine in first,

243
00:22:51,440 --> 00:22:57,440
heat up a little bit. Then I get into the sauna and the peace that I experienced in my mind is

244
00:22:57,440 --> 00:23:03,600
extraordinary for someone who's always had a racing mind. It's amazing. So saunas are going to be a

245
00:23:03,600 --> 00:23:15,680
big part of my routine as well. And another thing we do is we book in, we schedule into our calendar

246
00:23:15,680 --> 00:23:21,600
a three day fast every month. Yes. Fasting. Yeah. Regrettably we kind of have to, don't we?

247
00:23:21,600 --> 00:23:27,520
I know. Well, we've both got fair skin. Let's be honest. We look like ghosts.

248
00:23:27,520 --> 00:23:34,560
Well we do. With freckles. But with you, all of your water polo swimming and training outside,

249
00:23:34,560 --> 00:23:42,160
you were smashed by the sun. That's right. And I was a very, very silly, stupid teenage girl who

250
00:23:42,160 --> 00:23:47,520
thought that, you know, a tan was required when my skin just doesn't tan. It burns then peels then

251
00:23:47,520 --> 00:23:54,560
goes blotchy. And you also flew much closer to the sun Icarus. True. But it was, so now

252
00:23:54,560 --> 00:24:02,560
older, wiser, seeing that need the, you know, my skin is now damaged, our skin's sun damaged.

253
00:24:02,560 --> 00:24:11,520
My skin doctor actually suggested to me that fasting and how just the autophagy starts to repair

254
00:24:11,520 --> 00:24:18,320
the damaged cells. So we schedule it in every month, three days. Day two, I'm a bit hangry.

255
00:24:18,320 --> 00:24:22,800
Yeah, same. But we prepare, we have meals in the freezer for the kids and the instance.

256
00:24:22,800 --> 00:24:29,360
So the last meal is Thursday night. The next one is Sunday night. Three days. Water, lemon water,

257
00:24:29,360 --> 00:24:33,920
black coffee, black tea. Yeah, and herbal tea. Yeah. And then you just fight through the hangry.

258
00:24:35,120 --> 00:24:39,520
And sometimes a bit of lethargy as well. But when your body goes into autophagy, it starts hunting

259
00:24:39,520 --> 00:24:43,040
for damaged proteins. And it's very, very healthy for you because those damaged proteins, those

260
00:24:43,040 --> 00:24:47,520
damaged cells could potentially turn into cancer, skin cancers, for example. And do you find that

261
00:24:47,520 --> 00:24:54,640
your skin clears up on day four? Yeah, same. It's funny. Like when you've got damaged skin,

262
00:24:54,640 --> 00:24:58,960
it's three day fast. And at the end of that, you look at your skin and it seems to have started

263
00:24:58,960 --> 00:25:05,760
to repair. So we've decided to do it once a month. Yes. We were told that we can by our doctor. So

264
00:25:05,760 --> 00:25:09,520
please don't take this as many full advice. If you've got diabetes and other food related

265
00:25:09,520 --> 00:25:14,880
illnesses, yeah, please speak to a professional. But fasting has been proven to be very, very healthy.

266
00:25:14,880 --> 00:25:20,560
I shared it with Benjamin Balk, who I work with. And he did it. And he went a step further and did,

267
00:25:20,560 --> 00:25:27,040
I think, 84 hours fasting. And he was saying... That's four days. I'm doing the math.

268
00:25:27,040 --> 00:25:33,520
And he said he felt amazing, just such clarity of mind and energy in his body.

269
00:25:34,800 --> 00:25:39,680
So yeah. Because your brain's starting to use ketones for fuel. You've heard of ketosis and

270
00:25:39,680 --> 00:25:45,360
people who go into ketosis. So he did it. So Ben, if you're listening, it's time that you did it

271
00:25:45,360 --> 00:25:48,720
again. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Ben, you can't just do it once and think that you're cured for the rest of

272
00:25:48,720 --> 00:25:53,040
your life, mate. You've got to do this regularly. I've read, I don't know if this is true, I haven't

273
00:25:53,040 --> 00:25:58,480
confirmed it or not, but Kelly Slater, who is still on the world surfing circuit, I believe,

274
00:25:59,200 --> 00:26:07,120
in his 50s. So old. Yeah. Does 10 day fasts. Wow. And I've heard Peter Atiyah, who was the guy

275
00:26:07,120 --> 00:26:14,480
that was coaching Chris Hemsworth, and I've heard him talk and other people do extended fasts. I

276
00:26:14,480 --> 00:26:18,960
don't know if I could get past... Four and a half days is my longest so far. That's when we had

277
00:26:18,960 --> 00:26:25,520
COVID and we were really lethargic and we had no energy. I think I was about 40% energy. And I

278
00:26:25,520 --> 00:26:30,560
found a doctor online who was suggesting fasting. And so I went on a fast. You did three days,

279
00:26:30,560 --> 00:26:36,320
I believe. Yeah. I did four and a half days and cured. Gone. All the lethargy was gone. That

280
00:26:36,320 --> 00:26:40,240
worked for us. Again, this is not medical advice. Please speak to your health professional.

281
00:26:43,680 --> 00:26:51,200
What are your other routines that bring happiness into your life? Oh, so when I kiss the kids of

282
00:26:51,200 --> 00:26:56,160
the morning and at nighttime kissing them, we have routines of what we say and what we do

283
00:26:58,160 --> 00:27:06,000
to go to bed and the different sayings and things. And so the kids know, I know, to feel good,

284
00:27:06,000 --> 00:27:12,000
it's a lovely way to end the day. And yeah, it's just... And I think that one of the things that

285
00:27:12,000 --> 00:27:17,520
we've changed up, and some days it's having to try to change it up, making the effort,

286
00:27:17,520 --> 00:27:24,720
and other days it's easy, is the wine of a nighttime just to switch off if you've had a big week or

287
00:27:26,560 --> 00:27:32,960
celebration or whatever. It's that rather than the first glass leading into many glasses,

288
00:27:32,960 --> 00:27:40,480
it's the switching off that one sip or the first small glass. I was really disappointed to learn

289
00:27:41,440 --> 00:27:48,400
that. I many years ago read research that a glass of wine, red wine specifically, was good for the

290
00:27:48,400 --> 00:27:56,880
heart because of the resveratrol in it. But then I've read that if you want to get enough

291
00:27:56,880 --> 00:28:01,120
resveratrol for it to be good for your heart, you'd need to drink 30 or 40 glasses a day.

292
00:28:01,120 --> 00:28:02,960
Wow. I thought it was liters.

293
00:28:02,960 --> 00:28:07,440
Liters, 40 liters a day, yeah, something like that. Yeah. So if you're currently thinking to

294
00:28:07,440 --> 00:28:13,680
yourself, challenge accepted, that's a wrong thought. Because it's that first sip that

295
00:28:13,680 --> 00:28:17,680
apparently turns off your default mode network, the bloody brain that's always the monkey mind

296
00:28:17,680 --> 00:28:22,560
that's always chasing, what are we going to do tomorrow? That feeling where your brain

297
00:28:22,560 --> 00:28:26,800
just switches off. It's just that first couple of sips, but every other sip after that is just

298
00:28:26,800 --> 00:28:32,240
pure poison for your body. There is no, apparently, there is no healthy amount of alcohol for a human

299
00:28:32,240 --> 00:28:36,000
being. It's poison your body has to now process and get rid of through your liver.

300
00:28:36,000 --> 00:28:42,560
I know it works even just, if you have a wine glass or a lovely glass or a lovely cup,

301
00:28:42,560 --> 00:28:52,320
you can still get that same feeling by having tea, coffee, sparkling water, whatever your drink is,

302
00:28:52,320 --> 00:28:58,480
you can still get it. So if you sit at a particular seat and table or pub or wherever you go,

303
00:28:59,280 --> 00:29:06,480
which is your signal, your habit of that's, it's wine down time, you can actually do it without

304
00:29:06,480 --> 00:29:08,800
that alcohol and it still works. It's like a talisman almost.

305
00:29:08,800 --> 00:29:15,680
Yeah, yeah, it still works. Well, for me, it's worked. So I challenge everyone to try it.

306
00:29:15,680 --> 00:29:18,240
Yes. If it doesn't work, grab that glass of wine.

307
00:29:18,240 --> 00:29:23,840
We are sponsored by Bollinger. We're still waiting on Bollinger.

308
00:29:23,840 --> 00:29:29,040
Yes. Yeah, but it's that first sip that's having that effect. So do it with some sparkling water.

309
00:29:29,040 --> 00:29:32,560
And if you do want to have a glass of alcohol to wine down at the end of the day,

310
00:29:33,200 --> 00:29:39,840
have it early. Don't have it close to sleep because it dramatically affects your sleep in

311
00:29:39,840 --> 00:29:44,480
a bad way. And sleep is the most important thing that human beings do. Thank you, Dr. Matthew Walker,

312
00:29:44,480 --> 00:29:49,760
the global sleep expert. But yeah, don't just have it early and then just stop. Just appreciate the

313
00:29:49,760 --> 00:29:55,200
fact that the default mode network in your brain has turned off. Your brain is now slower and you

314
00:29:55,200 --> 00:30:00,560
can be more present. Try it with a glass of sparkling water and use it as a trigger to slow

315
00:30:00,560 --> 00:30:05,280
down, but don't lean on three, four, five glasses. It's just so unhealthy for humans.

316
00:30:05,920 --> 00:30:11,200
So we sprinkle golden nuggets throughout our day. So we have something to work towards. In those days,

317
00:30:11,200 --> 00:30:17,840
when you are exhausted, when things maybe haven't gone as planned or something comes up that's like

318
00:30:17,840 --> 00:30:23,520
not a nice situation, it's just having those little anchors throughout the day to keep you going.

319
00:30:24,560 --> 00:30:30,480
So Phil, him calling them golden nuggets was perfect. As soon as I heard it, it's like,

320
00:30:30,480 --> 00:30:34,560
oh, of course, that's what they are. Another one, Rosebud Thorn. Oh yeah.

321
00:30:34,560 --> 00:30:38,160
Yeah, to the parents, this is a great one. At the dinner table, hey guys, what's your Rose,

322
00:30:38,160 --> 00:30:42,720
what's your Rosebud, what's your Thorn? So the Rose is something that happened today that went

323
00:30:42,720 --> 00:30:49,600
fantastic. What's a win you had? What was your best moment of the day? Thorn was something that

324
00:30:49,600 --> 00:30:54,000
didn't go the way you planned and what did you learn from it? And then Rosebud, what is something

325
00:30:54,000 --> 00:30:57,840
that you're looking forward to? It's a great way of getting the kids to structure a conversation

326
00:30:57,840 --> 00:31:01,040
around the table instead of them fighting and kicking and pushing each other.

327
00:31:02,880 --> 00:31:06,720
Guys, what's your Rose, what's your Thorn and what's your Rosebud? What are you looking

328
00:31:06,720 --> 00:31:13,360
forward to? Those routines, we need to be sitting around a table discussing our days with children.

329
00:31:13,360 --> 00:31:17,360
It's a great memory for them when they get older, it's a great way to create that family unit.

330
00:31:18,320 --> 00:31:20,320
We do everything around the dining table, don't we?

331
00:31:20,320 --> 00:31:27,120
We do, we do art and everything. My favourite routine is I wake my son up in the morning,

332
00:31:27,120 --> 00:31:32,400
he's 10, go in, give him a hug and he just throws his arms around me, squeezes me so tightly and

333
00:31:32,400 --> 00:31:38,880
we both say in unison, best time of the day. And then he comes for a walk off and then in the

334
00:31:38,880 --> 00:31:44,320
evenings, 15 minutes of reading Harry Potter together in bed. It's our favourite story,

335
00:31:44,320 --> 00:31:50,880
I've read them now four times with my kids. He's the youngest and we're going, I think we're on

336
00:31:50,880 --> 00:31:57,760
book four and read a bit of Harry Potter, another big hug and love you mate and have a great night's

337
00:31:57,760 --> 00:32:02,880
sleep. It's those routines that bring quality into your life.

338
00:32:04,000 --> 00:32:09,760
No, so to wrap up, it's not the goal, the goal gives you purpose and direction,

339
00:32:10,720 --> 00:32:16,560
but don't hang your hat on the goal as you will be happy when. And just plant nuggets throughout

340
00:32:16,560 --> 00:32:20,960
your day and whatever that looks like. We get up early, we're morning people and we're very

341
00:32:20,960 --> 00:32:24,800
productive in the morning, but other people might be on the other end of the day.

342
00:32:24,800 --> 00:32:26,000
Yeah, do it at the end of the day.

343
00:32:26,000 --> 00:32:31,440
Yeah, or in the middle, do what works for you. But if you find just little things that you can

344
00:32:32,080 --> 00:32:33,440
make a habit, a routine.

345
00:32:33,440 --> 00:32:37,200
Yeah, like laughter, listening to stand up comedy, being grateful,

346
00:32:38,160 --> 00:32:42,160
listing all the things that you're grateful for, get your mind feeling like you've gotten

347
00:32:42,160 --> 00:32:45,760
abundance and then your body doesn't have to stress anymore because you don't need to fight

348
00:32:45,760 --> 00:32:46,320
for anything.

349
00:32:46,320 --> 00:32:53,200
That's right, start small, don't structure your day so that there's no leeway for anything going

350
00:32:53,200 --> 00:32:58,720
off track. But just small little nuggets, even one, if you don't have any, start with one.

351
00:32:58,720 --> 00:32:59,920
Just start with one, start small.

352
00:32:59,920 --> 00:33:02,720
Yep, honestly, it helps.

353
00:33:06,480 --> 00:33:09,120
So goals don't create happiness, they just give you direction. They're important,

354
00:33:09,120 --> 00:33:13,680
they just give you direction, but happiness lies in what we do every day, the journey,

355
00:33:13,680 --> 00:33:18,320
the routines. Bollinger, where are you? Bollinger, we're still waiting.

356
00:33:18,880 --> 00:33:19,440
Lindt chocolate.

357
00:33:19,440 --> 00:33:21,680
Lindt, yeah, Lindt, we love Lindt chocolate.

358
00:33:21,680 --> 00:33:22,640
Yeah, I suppose.

359
00:33:22,640 --> 00:33:25,040
Bose, anyone who wants to sponsor the podcast?

360
00:33:26,640 --> 00:33:27,360
Anyone really.

361
00:33:27,360 --> 00:33:31,200
How selfish are we? We enjoy doing this, we'll keep doing it anyway.

362
00:33:31,200 --> 00:33:31,840
That's right.

363
00:33:31,840 --> 00:33:32,480
More dogs?

364
00:33:32,480 --> 00:33:34,560
More dogs, the world will be a better place with more dogs.

365
00:33:34,560 --> 00:33:40,000
So if you want some merch with some great messaging on it, we've got t-shirts and hats

366
00:33:40,560 --> 00:33:46,080
and everyone that's bought one and given us feedback said they're a real conversation

367
00:33:46,080 --> 00:33:46,480
starter.

368
00:33:46,480 --> 00:33:46,960
That's right.

369
00:33:46,960 --> 00:33:49,760
Yeah, and every time we wear them, people walk up and go, yeah, the world, more dogs.

370
00:33:49,760 --> 00:33:51,120
Love your t-shirt, love your hat.

371
00:33:51,120 --> 00:33:55,120
Yeah, more dogs. So good to see you, Michelle.

372
00:33:56,960 --> 00:33:57,680
Bye, guys.

373
00:33:57,680 --> 00:33:58,320
I need you.

374
00:34:01,040 --> 00:34:01,540
Bye.

375
00:34:01,540 --> 00:34:02,040
Bye.

376
00:34:02,720 --> 00:34:03,760
Well, that was fun.

377
00:34:03,760 --> 00:34:04,560
That was fun.

378
00:34:06,000 --> 00:34:07,040
You're such a clown.

379
00:34:07,040 --> 00:34:08,160
The clown.

380
00:34:08,160 --> 00:34:09,040
Lady captain.

381
00:34:10,640 --> 00:34:12,480
And who's going to listen to this?

382
00:34:12,480 --> 00:34:13,440
Maybe our mums.

383
00:34:13,440 --> 00:34:21,440
Thanks, mum.

