1 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:11,000 G'day leaders. In this episode we discuss a better way to look at criticism and talk about why Lindt chocolate is the best chocolate in the world. Enjoy. 2 00:00:11,000 --> 00:00:15,000 Why did it count backwards? Oh no, we're now recording. 3 00:00:15,000 --> 00:00:18,000 What? Hello Captain. 4 00:00:18,000 --> 00:00:20,000 What do I... 5 00:00:22,000 --> 00:00:26,000 Come fly with me, let's fly, let's fly. 6 00:00:26,000 --> 00:00:33,000 What are we going to talk about? I don't know. So, leadership, life and everything else. 7 00:00:33,000 --> 00:00:34,000 Yeah. 8 00:00:39,000 --> 00:00:45,000 And we're live. No we're not, we're recording. And what are you doing, doing, stealing my part? 9 00:00:45,000 --> 00:00:53,000 Oh, I can't believe you stole my line. Sorry, got in there first. Was that criticism Michelle? 10 00:00:53,000 --> 00:00:57,000 Not at all. Yeah, okay. Today we're going to talk about criticism. 11 00:00:57,000 --> 00:00:59,000 Yes. Yes. Not a fan? 12 00:00:59,000 --> 00:01:05,000 Yep. Oh, well most people aren't. No, no. I didn't like it growing up. 13 00:01:05,000 --> 00:01:08,000 Hold on, I'm going to criticize you. Can you move a little bit closer to the microphone please? 14 00:01:08,000 --> 00:01:12,000 Yes. How's that? There we go. That's better. Now I can hear the sultry tones of your voice. 15 00:01:12,000 --> 00:01:22,000 Yeah, the term critique or criticism, somehow if it's critique it carries less emotional weight than criticism. 16 00:01:22,000 --> 00:01:32,000 Yep. So critique I look at, I understand as feedback, whereas criticism is something I personally have done wrong 17 00:01:32,000 --> 00:01:39,000 and is probably attached to me rather than removed from me. Okay, I've got a different theory. 18 00:01:39,000 --> 00:01:48,000 Okay. Yep. I don't think there's anything that we, I don't think criticism exists in utopia. 19 00:01:48,000 --> 00:01:56,000 So my theory is this, if you're a confident person, you can't be criticized. 20 00:01:56,000 --> 00:02:02,000 The reason why you can't be criticized is because if you are a confident person, and again I'm talking about utopia, 21 00:02:02,000 --> 00:02:11,000 utopia being the perfect world where everything is perfect, when somebody criticizes you, when does it become criticism? 22 00:02:11,000 --> 00:02:15,000 So I'll get you to think about that. When does it become criticism? 23 00:02:15,000 --> 00:02:21,000 When it's said? Personal. Or when you know it's your interpretation. 24 00:02:21,000 --> 00:02:25,000 That's it. Yeah. So let's say somebody says, Guy, I disagree with you. You were wrong. I don't like that. 25 00:02:25,000 --> 00:02:32,000 Whatever it is, that's information. That's information that's troubling from them to me. 26 00:02:32,000 --> 00:02:39,000 And it only becomes criticism when I get out my little sticker book and I take one of my stickers that says criticism 27 00:02:39,000 --> 00:02:45,000 and I put that sticker on that piece of information and go, I was criticized. Does that make sense? Yes. 28 00:02:45,000 --> 00:02:53,000 Yeah. So this is something that I'm talking about in the confidence course now is that you want to move to the mindset 29 00:02:53,000 --> 00:03:04,000 whereby you cannot be criticized because everything that somebody says to you is just information that you then get to choose what you do with it. 30 00:03:04,000 --> 00:03:15,000 Yeah. And so I'm trying to teach myself this because being a shy, sensitive, insecure little sook that I was as a child, 31 00:03:15,000 --> 00:03:26,000 I took the smallest slight on me and my actions or my thoughts or whatever as a huge criticism. I was a very, very sensitive person. 32 00:03:26,000 --> 00:03:39,000 And so I've spent the last year, especially working on this. And I had a moment the other day where I tried something on stage in one of my keynotes. 33 00:03:39,000 --> 00:03:50,000 It didn't work. Right. And then I said, it didn't work to you. And you said, no. So and in that moment, I reflected on it. 34 00:03:50,000 --> 00:04:01,000 The young version of me many years ago, when even though I'm the one that said it didn't work. So I've criticized the thing that I tried on stage. 35 00:04:01,000 --> 00:04:08,000 That's OK, because it's me criticizing me. But when you went, not. So you agreed with my criticism of myself. 36 00:04:08,000 --> 00:04:18,000 The young version of me many, many years ago would have felt criticized by you, even though I was the one criticizing myself. Right. Yes. 37 00:04:18,000 --> 00:04:28,000 But when you did that, I had this moment of realization that this work that I'm doing on myself is starting to have a really positive impact. 38 00:04:28,000 --> 00:04:33,000 I had none of the I'm sure that I've been this way for a while. 39 00:04:33,000 --> 00:04:40,000 I think by now I'm getting to a level of maturity that that would justify me being an adult. 40 00:04:40,000 --> 00:04:47,000 But I've been working on just seeing it as information and not as something that needs to be taken as criticism. 41 00:04:47,000 --> 00:04:52,000 I didn't know that guy. I apologize. You don't need to please because you agreed with my. 42 00:04:52,000 --> 00:04:58,000 Well, I was looking at it objectively as what worked and what didn't work. It wasn't criticism, Michelle. 43 00:04:58,000 --> 00:05:02,000 And that's it. That's the beautiful thing about what the realization I had, the realization. 44 00:05:02,000 --> 00:05:11,000 And so please don't apologize because you didn't criticize me. You agreed with my analysis of the of the thing I did on stage that I attempted to do. 45 00:05:11,000 --> 00:05:17,000 It didn't work. I said it didn't work. You went, no, it didn't work. You didn't criticize. There was no anger of maliciousness in your voice. 46 00:05:17,000 --> 00:05:24,000 And even if there was, that's just information. Oh, there's malice and maliciousness in the in the in the comments. 47 00:05:24,000 --> 00:05:37,000 Oh, you bovine. But no, it's and it was just it was a it was a beautiful moment for me because I came to realize that something that I've been working on my whole life, 48 00:05:37,000 --> 00:05:46,000 I think I've got to a point now where I'm a lot less susceptible to the criticism of others because it's just information. 49 00:05:46,000 --> 00:05:52,000 If somebody disagrees with you, they disagree with you. If they don't like something you've done, they don't like something you've done. 50 00:05:52,000 --> 00:05:59,000 Why do we need to put that little sticker on it that says it was criticism? 51 00:05:59,000 --> 00:06:11,000 I like how so I work with Ben and we've interviewed Ben previously. So Ben has Ben Bulk. CEO of Kindicare. That's right. 52 00:06:11,000 --> 00:06:20,000 So he has a unique ability to break everything down, all interactions down into just data basically. 53 00:06:20,000 --> 00:06:31,000 Yeah. And they sometimes, you know, there's information that comes in that's quite emotionally charged from from customers, from media. 54 00:06:31,000 --> 00:06:39,000 And rather than so I see the emotion and I want to help and I want to fix. 55 00:06:39,000 --> 00:06:46,000 So Ben taught me that one piece of negative feedback is information, it's feedback. 56 00:06:46,000 --> 00:06:52,000 It's exactly what it is. And but when there are there's more than one, again, 57 00:06:52,000 --> 00:06:55,000 feedback that potentially there's something that needs to change. 58 00:06:55,000 --> 00:07:01,000 So one piece is an opinion, two or more. We look at and go, hang on to pattern. 59 00:07:01,000 --> 00:07:07,000 There's a pattern. So there could be something UX or user experience. 60 00:07:07,000 --> 00:07:16,000 Yeah. So customer experience, user experience that isn't quite right, that may need some tweaking to make it a seamless experience. 61 00:07:16,000 --> 00:07:26,000 And so having that objectivity and being able to step out of taking it personally and who do they think they are to actually thank you for that information. 62 00:07:26,000 --> 00:07:29,000 Because we get very defensive when we feel as though we're being criticized. 63 00:07:29,000 --> 00:07:39,000 That's right, especially when you own a project and if something is, you know, someone comes up with a no, then you're like, hang on, who do you think you are? 64 00:07:39,000 --> 00:07:50,000 I've worked so hard on this. But yeah, so now the first thing I say is in correspondence is thank you to the person that's delivered that information. 65 00:07:50,000 --> 00:07:52,000 Because it is information. I like that. 66 00:07:52,000 --> 00:08:00,000 So you share gratitude for the information that you can now do something with rather than labeling it as criticism. 67 00:08:00,000 --> 00:08:06,000 I've just had this thought and I'm going to throw this out to all of our listeners. 68 00:08:06,000 --> 00:08:11,000 That doesn't give you permission to walk around, start criticizing people and then saying the captain and the clown. 69 00:08:11,000 --> 00:08:17,000 So there's no such thing as criticism. This is not an invite for the sociopaths out there to just unleash on people. 70 00:08:17,000 --> 00:08:23,000 This is a task for us all to work on that there is no such thing as criticism. 71 00:08:23,000 --> 00:08:26,000 It's only criticism when you label it as criticism. 72 00:08:26,000 --> 00:08:37,000 Shakespeare said there is, I think the quote goes, there is nothing good or bad, but thinking makes it so. 73 00:08:37,000 --> 00:08:43,000 There is nothing either good or bad, but thinking makes it so. 74 00:08:43,000 --> 00:08:49,000 And again, this is utopia. I'm not suggesting that anyone will get to a point where they can't be criticized. 75 00:08:49,000 --> 00:08:56,000 But if you can see anything that's coming towards you, any piece of information is just that. 76 00:08:56,000 --> 00:09:00,000 It's information. Oh, that person disagrees. That person doesn't like what I did. 77 00:09:00,000 --> 00:09:06,000 That person doesn't like what I said. That's information. 78 00:09:06,000 --> 00:09:16,000 And look, it takes work to disconnect from that emotionally and almost kind of look at observation. 79 00:09:16,000 --> 00:09:23,000 So look at their criticism and that feedback. And get curious like your other suggestion the other day. 80 00:09:23,000 --> 00:09:30,000 That's right. But to look at it almost third person and try and have that removed from you. 81 00:09:30,000 --> 00:09:37,000 So keep your distance from this feedback. So your boundary, personal boundary. 82 00:09:37,000 --> 00:09:42,000 And then, yeah, easier said than done potentially, depending on who it's from. 83 00:09:42,000 --> 00:09:48,000 And I think the underlying message is that you, it's not that you don't care about what people say. 84 00:09:48,000 --> 00:09:56,000 You need to care deeply about people. You just don't fear what they're saying, which goes back to the confidence piece we've done earlier in another podcast. 85 00:09:56,000 --> 00:10:01,000 But you have a curiosity as to where their opinions come from, maybe. 86 00:10:01,000 --> 00:10:04,000 Yeah. Well, you don't know their background. 87 00:10:04,000 --> 00:10:11,000 No, you don't know what's causing them to say what they've said. So get curious rather than getting offended. 88 00:10:11,000 --> 00:10:17,000 So instead of getting offended, get curious. Tell me more. Why do you think that? Why do you disagree? 89 00:10:17,000 --> 00:10:20,000 Help me understand it from your perspective. Get curious. 90 00:10:20,000 --> 00:10:27,000 That's right. And then you may actually find that it's not actually a criticism. It's just a different way that they would have done it. 91 00:10:27,000 --> 00:10:32,000 Yeah. A different perspective, which could help you because you may not have thought of that way. 92 00:10:32,000 --> 00:10:42,000 Yep. Which ties into that whole judgment piece that we've spoken about in the past that people don't judge you, they judge themselves through you. 93 00:10:42,000 --> 00:10:50,000 Yeah. Yeah. So when we're judging other people, oh, I wouldn't do it like that. Oh, I wouldn't wear those clothes. 94 00:10:50,000 --> 00:11:02,000 We're not actually judging the other person. We're judging ourselves through them because without the other person, you know, as the reference point, we like if you said, oh, I'd never wear that, you're making it about you. 95 00:11:02,000 --> 00:11:08,000 Yeah. It's not that you're judging them. You're judging yourself. I wouldn't wear that. 96 00:11:08,000 --> 00:11:14,000 That's right. And you're kind of being arrogant as well. I am better than that person because I wouldn't wear that. 97 00:11:14,000 --> 00:11:18,000 Actually, that gives me an idea. Can we do a whole podcast on arrogance? Sure. 98 00:11:18,000 --> 00:11:25,000 Yeah. That's an interesting topic because a lot of people see arrogance as overconfidence and I want to, I actually want to change that term overconfident. 99 00:11:25,000 --> 00:11:31,000 But that would be another podcast, I think. Yeah. I've got lots of thoughts around that, but I need to get them all sorted. 100 00:11:31,000 --> 00:11:35,000 Sounds good. Okay. So you can't be criticized if you see it as? 101 00:11:35,000 --> 00:11:46,000 Feedback. Or information. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Now we're going to give Bose and Bollinger some feedback. Where are you? 102 00:11:46,000 --> 00:11:56,000 Hey marketing team. Yeah. We gave a shout out to Lint, our favorite chocolate. Oh, do you know why Lint is rated the best chocolate in the world? 103 00:11:56,000 --> 00:12:04,000 Because it's hard on the outside, creepy gooey in the middle. That's the Lindell balls. It's because they conch it more than any other chocolate on the planet. 104 00:12:04,000 --> 00:12:18,000 Do you know what conching is? No. Conching is the mixing. Yeah. I learned this when I was in university. I did a piece, I was doing journalism at university and I did this piece for a radio station. 105 00:12:18,000 --> 00:12:25,000 And we all got to record a piece and it was for, I think, anyway, it was a radio station. 106 00:12:25,000 --> 00:12:35,000 I did this thing on Lint chocolate and I found out why Lint chocolate is the best chocolate in the world. Because it's conched more than any other chocolate. Lint. Happy for you to sponsor us. 107 00:12:35,000 --> 00:12:40,000 Yeah. Yeah. There we go. After that endorsement. 108 00:12:40,000 --> 00:12:46,000 Michelle, that was fun. It was. All right. So any critiques? No, none at all. 109 00:12:46,000 --> 00:12:57,000 Well, it would be a better place with more dogs. It would be. Yeah. So if you want any merch, reach out on CaptainandtheClown.com. We've got t-shirts and every time you wear one of our t-shirts, caps, caps as well with more dogs on it. 110 00:12:57,000 --> 00:13:12,000 We trademarked it. It's now ours. So yeah, we're going to probably produce some more merch and we find that every time you wear one. Strikes up conversation. Yeah. It attracts people. They have an opinion. That's it. Have a great day, Michelle. Bye. Bye. 111 00:13:12,000 --> 00:13:24,000 Well, that was fun. That was fun. You're such a clown. The clown. Lady captain. And who's going to listen to this? Maybe our mums. Thanks mum.