G'day leaders. In this podcast, we talk about the subconscious mind and the conscious mind
and how the programs and the self-talk that we put in there determines our reality. We
talk about how to adjust our thinking for better results. Enjoy.
Why did it count backwards? And they were now recording.
What? Hello, Captain.
Come fly with me. Let's fly, let's fly.
What are we going to talk about? I don't know. So, leadership, life and everything
else. Yeah.
And we're live. No, we're recording.
Again. Michelle, I'd like to talk to you about something I'm quite passionate about.
Yes. It's about the way we program.
Yes. Lint chocolate, best chocolate in the world.
Yes. Hey, if you want to sponsor us, no, we're
still waiting for Bollinger to get in touch. That's right.
How come they haven't reached out after that first podcast where we drank a whole bottle
of Bollinger? Anyway.
Sorry, I interrupted you. That's okay. Not at all. So, we're going,
I'd like to talk to you about conscious and subconscious mind or programming our subconscious
mind. Yes.
Something that I've been teaching and thinking about for many, many, many years. And it's
something that I find fascinating. So, without getting into too much science, we've got
two parts to our brain. The top part of our brain, the neocortex where we do our thinking,
our language sits up there, and then we've got our subconscious mind. And our subconscious
mind, I'm going to call a robot. Yeah.
So, it will obey every instruction that we give it. Okay? So, we program our subconscious
mind, which also forms our habits and those sort of things. And we program it with our
thoughts and the way we speak to people. So, the example I often give in training, especially
when we're doing memory training, I always say to people, have you ever said this? Oh,
I'm really bad at remembering names. Yeah.
And a lot of people say that. And yeah, I'm really bad at remembering names. Oh, I can
remember faces, but I can't remember names. Well, that's interesting because what they're
doing is they're programming their subconscious mind. They're saying that I'm the sort of
person who is bad at remembering names. And the thing about our subconscious, our subconscious
will obey every instruction we give it, and it doesn't like to be wrong. It's a robot.
It just follows the instructions. So, the next time that person meets somebody, they
go up and they shake their hands and say, hi, I'm Guy. And they go, yeah, good day,
I'm David. And then the brain goes, all right, David, what's David? Well, David's a name.
What do we know about names? We're no good at names. Oh, I forget about David. Yeah.
So, we program ourselves for failure.
I remember when I first met you and I was going to have a procedure done on my foot
and I needed a needle. And you, and I said to you, and I hate, I'm scared of needles.
And you went, no, no, you were scared of needles. I'm thinking, who the hell are you to tell
me whether I am or I'm not scared of needles? I'm scared of needles.
I do know if everyone would do that because I do that all the time. Do you know why I
do that? I know why, because it's a past tense. So, getting rid of that programming. And I
still, I'm still working on it. I used to be. I was. I used to be afraid of needles.
You're getting better every time. Yes, that's right.
Because I had a fear of forgetting people's names. I had a bad memory when I was younger
and then I studied it and I realized that if you say that you've got a bad memory, your
memory has to then make that true. Yes. Yes. And so, whenever I hear people saying, oh,
I'm bad at this, I'm scared of needles, I'm doing this, I always look at them, I go, you
used to be. And then it's their choice to either go forward with that old mindset that
they are scared of things or they can't do things or they forget things or they can go
forward with a new mindset of, that's what I used to be like. Because when I hear somebody
saying, oh, I hold a grudge or I get very angry when this happens, I go, do you want
that to be a reality? And they go, what? I say, well, what you've just done is you've
programmed your subconscious mind to make that a reality next time it happens and you
have no control over your subconscious mind. It's just a robot that's going to obey the
instruction you just gave it. So next time somebody cuts you off in the car, oh, I'm
a hothead, comes out and they start yelling and screaming at the person. But if you say
to yourself, oh, I'm very calm on the road, next time somebody cuts you off, you'll go,
hmm, that was an interesting way to drive. Because the subconscious mind has to make
the reality that you program into it. And I want to talk about what you have changed
in your mind and what I've changed in my mind over the years. So I used to have a bad
memory. I used to be a very shy, introverted little kid. And so not only did I have a bad
memory for names, I didn't look people in the face when I was introduced to them because
I was so shy. So imagine spending your childhood and your teens not really looking at people's
faces because you were so shy and so introverted. And so not only did you not remember the name,
quite often you didn't remember their face. And then I started studying and trying to
find out how to fix this. And I realized that one, if I didn't look at their face, I'm
looking to remember them. But if I told myself that I couldn't remember their name, that'll
be a reality as well. And so that's the first time I started to get interested in the way
the subconscious mind works. And we used to use this a lot in sport as well. So if you
think you're the best, you'll be the best. If you think you're mediocre, you will be
mediocre because our subconscious mind doesn't like to be wrong.
Yeah. I'm just trying to think you sprung this on me.
I did. I did. I said let's record a podcast on the subconscious mind without giving you
any time to think about it. Well, if you want, I can talk a little bit more about it while
you're thinking about how this may have applied. Now you've got a situation.
Yeah, yeah, definitely. So I'm thinking, and it's an example I've given previously about
crosswind takeoffs and landings when I was learning to fly. And I remember not enjoying
windy days. So when this particular lesson came up, having to go out to do hour upon
hour of crosswind takeoff and landings in a little Cherokee to get it kind of set in
my mind. And afterwards, my instructor, he was quite clever in mind manipulation. And
he said to me, see, you're an ace at this now. And it's like, oh, no, no, I don't particularly
like them. He goes, no, you are always like, you are amazing. You, I reckon any day that
it's windy, you would ace, you would be one of the best out there. You would ace it. And
I'm kind of like, oh, I don't know. But every time it was windy, I would hear his voice
in my head. And I started to believe it. And I do, I still love a windy day. It's like
my best landings are windy days.
Well, he's using a form of NLP, neuro-linguistic programming. He's putting, and something I
like doing as well, you put thoughts into people's mind that interrupt their old paradigms,
their old way of thinking. And so that's why when you said you didn't like needles, oh,
you used to. I had to jump in there and give you a new one. And it's a very powerful technique
when you're training people. So it sounds like he was quite gifted.
He was. I use it on my kids as well all the time.
Oh yeah, yeah. So do I. So do I. If I hear somebody with a limiting self-belief, I jump
in straight away. Used to, used to. Or I'll throw in a different one. I don't agree with
you. I actually think you're amazing at that. I think you're one of the better people at
that. And you're learning how to do it. And every time you do it, you're getting better.
I'm forcing that into people's minds, especially my kids.
Have you ever said this? I should exercise more. I should eat healthier. Or I want to
start this.
We have a policy of no shoulds. No shoulding.
Have you ever heard somebody say, oh, I want to go to the gym more. I want to do this.
I want to do that. There's a really fascinating concept around that language. So if you say,
I want to go to the gym more, for example, what you're actually saying is this is who
I am now and I want to be somebody who goes to the gym more.
But you're not.
I am, this is me, but I want to go to the gym more. And one of the things that our brain
does, when we wake up in the morning, we come out of sleep into consciousness. So unconscious
to consciousness. Our brain has to kind of reboot and recreate how we go who we are.
All right? So this is kind of like just a generalization. So when you wake up, your
brain has to figure out who you are. And the way it does it is it goes through all your
memories. Yeah? So it's got access to the memory of who you are and it reboots. And
one of the memories that it finds is, oh, I'm somebody who wants to go to the gym, not
somebody who goes to the gym. Okay, well, then don't go to the gym. Otherwise you'd
be somebody who goes to the gym, not somebody who wants to go to the gym. And so the way
we talk to people and the way we talk to ourselves creates our reality. So if you want to change
something and you say, I want to, what you're actually saying is I'm never going to, because
otherwise I'd be that person. Yeah. And so self-talk is such a powerful thing. What self-talk
have you used to become the pilot that you became? Well, it's from Pete Sherry used to
say to us, this is a language warning. I know this one. We said this one another time. Yeah,
that's right. I'm the meanest mother fucker to ever fly at 737. But I am a pilot. I am
a pilot when I was learning to fly because quite often you'd start, if you know, days
didn't go as well as what you wanted to or I threw up. It was, there was the thing of
rather than saying, I'm not going to throw up because quite often my brain will not hear
the not and it will just hear, I'm going to throw up. It wouldn't. And I would say things
like I suppose affirmations, positive affirmations would be I wake early with ease and I do,
I get up early and I go for a walk every morning. It's a, you know, a non-negotiable. Mine is
I'm the king of sleep. I've always had this belief. I don't remember ever being a bad
sleeper. I'm sure that there was a point in time where I was just like everyone else and
just didn't think about my sleep. But when I was learning about the subconscious mind
and I also know how important sleep is, if you're listening and you don't know how important
sleep is, go and listen to Dr. Matthew Walker. It's the most important thing that human beings
do. It's sleep. And so I've always said, I'm the king of sleep. I can sleep anywhere, anytime,
anyhow. I've always said that. And I've met a lot of people over the years who say, I'm
really bad at sleeping. I'm a bad sleeper. And I say, well, do you want that to continue?
And they go, no. And I say, well, stop saying it. Because what you're doing is you're programming
your subconscious mind. As you get closer to bedtime, you recognize that we're getting
close to the time that you should be going to sleep. And so if you have said all your
life, I'm a bad sleeper, I'm a bad sleeper, your subconscious mind is listening and it's
a robot. It's going to program that in. And so as you're getting closer to sleep, what
it's going to do, it's going to release more cortisol into your system. Cortisol is in a
constant battle with melatonin. When melatonin wins, you're asleep. When cortisol wins, you're
awake. And so if you're getting close to bedtime and you've got this unconscious or subconscious
belief that you're a bad sleeper, then your brain is going to make that a reality by releasing
more cortisol and bringing all of the thoughts into your mind that are going to make you
start thinking about all these things that you've got to do in your life to make sure
that you've kept awake. But if you say, I'm the king or I'm the queen of sleep, as you
get closer to bedtime, your brain's going, this is that part of the day that you're really
good at. And so I've almost hypnotized myself to be able to sleep anywhere, anytime, even
at dinner parties, which I'm quite famous for. I don't know if you know this about me,
but all my friends tease me about this constantly. I like cooking paella. And when I put it on
the table, it's been a four or five hour event because it starts from making the stock all
the way to making the paella. I put it on the table. I'm quite exhausted and maybe a
couple of wines in. And then as I put it on the table, everyone's dishing up their paella
and I'm sleeping. It's my party trick. But the subconscious mind is such a powerful thing
and people don't realize that we program it every day with our thoughts and our language
and our conversations with other people.
Michelle, do you have any mindsets or things or subconscious programs that you're playing
your head?
Yeah. So one I've been using of late and I've used it for a few years is everything always
works out. And it does. If you give it time, you let it settle, you walk away, you come
back, you hunker down. It always works out. So yeah, my self-talk, my affirmation is everything
always works out.
Yeah. And that would tie into your anti-fragility message that you talk about, that all adversity
is an opportunity for us to grow and get stronger. All complex systems need adversity.
That's right.
And so if you've got the mindset of everything will work out, well, it always does because
at the end of the adversity, you're stronger. You've learned something, you've grown.
That's exactly it. And sometimes it may be in a way that you hadn't forecast, you hadn't
predicted, but it does always and always seems to work out better than what I'd planned.
I like this because it's very much the opposite of a victim mindset because a victim will
hold an experience in their head forever. Oh, woe is me because of this thing. But yours
is this thing made me stronger and it always works out in the end. So that once you get
through the adversity, you look back at the adversity as an opportunity to grow, get stronger,
but it also is an opportunity to come through the other end.
Yes.
Whereas a victim will come through the other end and will carry that adversity, that hurdle
like it's a backpack full of blur that they have to drag with them through the rest of
their lives rather than going, oh, wow, I got through that.
Well, if you're using the same thought or analogy is when you go to the gym and you
need to build muscle, you have to tear muscle. Yes. And then for it to rebuild, to come back
bigger, then that's kind of how you. So everything always works out. It's that, okay, this kind
of broke me a little or it stopped me at paused, whatever, or I had to detour or I took a different
path. But ultimately I have come back bigger, stronger, better, lighter because you're not
carrying all that that you were just talking about.
Yeah. That's something I've had to really work out. I was very guilty, although that's
not the right word to use. I was very good at being a victim early in my life and in
different situations where I've gone through adversity, things that you wouldn't want to
happen in your life. But like we often talk about now, everything that's happened to us
in our life has created the people we are today.
Yeah.
And we've spoken about this off the podcast. We're both proud of where we've got to in
our lives because of the shift in our mindsets. Whereas I have been periods in my life, a
victim to my circumstances and carried around that victim energy, that victim mindset. And
it wasn't nice. I mean, I was a young man and I didn't know better, but it's still,
I look back and I think it was so debilitating and it stopped me from developing. But once
you get rid of the victim energy, the victim mindset, and you see things as an opportunity
to grow, get stronger, build, and everything works out for me, which is the one you said
before. I've got a similar one. I don't really have words to it, but it's like, I'll be fine.
I'll get there. I'll get through this is the way I look at it. And I guess it's very similar
to yours. Everything will work out for me in the end. Yeah. Much more powerful than
dragging around the negative experiences that we've gone through. Yeah. Why do we do that?
Why do we attach them to this chain? It's comfortable. It's something we know. Yeah.
It is something we know, but it's almost like sometimes we allow these events in our lives
to be an anchor that we're dragging along on a chain that we're having to rip through
the footpath as we walk forward. Metaphorical and dramatic now, but yeah, I guess I'm looking
back at the old me that had that when I was younger, that you're holding this chain and
dragging this anchor of victimhood, which is just going to slow you down. But if you
can let it go and think, wow, what a fantastic experience that was that I got through it
in the end and look at me now. Well, if you can look at it also that in order to know
what happiness is, you have to have had sadness in your life. You need the contrast. Yeah.
So you need the contrast. So we can look at that as contrast. Yeah. And now it's like,
woohoo. Yeah. You can't have peace without the opposite. You can't have happiness without
the opposite. Hmm. Oh, that got very deep in my head for a second. Yeah. We need that
contrast, don't we? Yeah. Yeah. Where else have you changed your mindset to program better
thoughts, better outcomes? Because there's a lot of, I've still got a couple of limiting
mindsets that I'm working on. Every time I catch myself saying them, I go, oh, no, that's
who I used to be. I used to be that person. Do you have any other? Oh, look, as you get
older, of course, your body changes. Yeah. Mine has anyway. And so going from a young
girl woman who never had to worry about what they ate and just walking to the fridge to
get the next thing to eat, you know, made me lose two kilos to then now having to work
at it if I want to maintain a weight and potentially watch what I eat, although I prefer to just
do the extra work and eat what I want. That whole looking in the mirror and focusing on
one particular aspect rather than the whole package. So my limiting belief has always
been about, or limiting mindset about the size of what I see in the mirror somehow is
my what's going to happen in the day and, or, you know, on the scales. So I got rid
of the scales. They were lying to me. You're connecting that to how you're going to experience
the rest of the day. That's right. Yeah. Which is really, which isn't healthy. And this happened
quite, I realized it a few years ago when my eldest son was also focusing on his weight
and image based on what I was saying. So I realized I was programming him also. Yeah.
And he's a, he's a tall strapping man. So there's no way he's going to be the same weight,
size, whatever, as his friends. Six foot seven, isn't it? That's right. So, so yeah, it was,
so I thought, hang on. Nope. So through the scales, stop this, this self talk about, and
just got into rather the energy. So, so my, my mind speak, the affirmations I was saying
is I feel amazing today. And on those days where the energy is not as great, at that
time I would try and pump myself to get myself up. Now, a few years later, I'm realizing,
okay, like the seasons, you know, there are seasons to, to hibernate or to relax or to,
to rebuild. And so if my energy is low on a particular day or particular run of days,
it's like, okay, this is my autumn. This is my winter. So you're going to be kind to yourself.
But I like the concept of something that you were doing in the morning was then setting
up the rest of your day. And that's, that's some, something that I have been looking to
a lot lately. If you, when you wake up, the very first thing you grab is your phone and
you start swiping, then you'll get hit a dopamine. Swiping or scrolling? Swiping up, swiping
down. You have to write. So it's scrolling. We'll call it scrolling. Swipe your finger
across the screen, whichever direction. There's four directions. But yeah, scrolling. If the
first thing you do is scroll on your phone and you get a hit of dopamine, your brain
is now saying that's where my dopamine comes from. And you'll be grabbing your phone more
often during the day and it sets you up for failure. And we've, most people have heard
the whole concept of making the bed in the morning. When you get out of bed, make the
bed because when you make the bed, you've achieved something and you're going to get
a hit of dopamine. And so that's setting you up for success. I noticed over COVID because
I spent a fair bit of time by myself and a fair bit of time scrolling on things like
TikTok that my brain was getting hit to dopamine from, from technology. And then your brain
becomes addicted to it. And you've heard of dopamine depletion, which is where people
keep grabbing their phones and swiping and getting little hits of dopamine. It's not
enough. And yeah, it's a, it's a bad thing. So I like starting the day with an activity
that gives me dopamine, a reward chemical for something that is actually rewarding.
Like make the bed, go for a walk, write a chapter, do something productive because when
you get the dopamine from that source, you're training your brain to look for dopamine from
productive sources rather than unproductive sources, if that makes sense.
Yeah. Even sitting around the table, having breakfast or whatever with kids and just having
a conversation. Yeah. Love. Yeah. No, it's good. Cause the way we prime our brains in
the morning determines the success or opposite of the day. Yes. Yeah. That's right. Yeah.
Our brains are powerful things. Okay. So, um, in tying this up, be very careful of what
we put into our subconscious minds. Yeah. Yeah. I like the fact that, uh, the lower
part of the brain, the subconscious mind is just a robot. Yep. Just say it can be programmed.
It can be. Yeah. We should be very conscious of the programs that we put in there, the
limiting and, and, uh, what's the opposite of limiting, um, encourage encouraging thoughts
and mindsets and don't say, I want to say, I am, I go to the gym. I play the ukulele.
I swim three times a week, state it as though it's you and your subconscious mind then is
programmed to think it's you. And that is then you. Yeah. I like that. Okay. So the
world will be a better place with more dogs. And if you'd like some merch, go to our website.
We've got some merch, t-shirts and caps. More dogs spread the word. And whenever you're
wearing one, uh, you always get people commenting, don't you? Absolutely. So it should come with
a bit of a warning actually, because yeah, people will, they do have an opinion. So I'll
be yes. Or they are a cat people that say no. Or there's people who aren't animal people
at all. No, we don't need more dogs. That's right. Good to see you again, Michelle. Thanks
guy. Well, that was fun. That was fun. You're such a clown. Lady captain. And who's going
to listen to this? Thanks mom.