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G'day leaders. In this podcast, we talk about the subconscious mind and the conscious mind

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and how the programs and the self-talk that we put in there determines our reality. We

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talk about how to adjust our thinking for better results. Enjoy.

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Why did it count backwards? And they were now recording.

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What? Hello, Captain.

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Come fly with me. Let's fly, let's fly.

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What are we going to talk about? I don't know. So, leadership, life and everything

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else. Yeah.

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And we're live. No, we're recording.

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Again. Michelle, I'd like to talk to you about something I'm quite passionate about.

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Yes. It's about the way we program.

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Yes. Lint chocolate, best chocolate in the world.

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Yes. Hey, if you want to sponsor us, no, we're

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still waiting for Bollinger to get in touch. That's right.

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How come they haven't reached out after that first podcast where we drank a whole bottle

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of Bollinger? Anyway.

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Sorry, I interrupted you. That's okay. Not at all. So, we're going,

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I'd like to talk to you about conscious and subconscious mind or programming our subconscious

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mind. Yes.

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Something that I've been teaching and thinking about for many, many, many years. And it's

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something that I find fascinating. So, without getting into too much science, we've got

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two parts to our brain. The top part of our brain, the neocortex where we do our thinking,

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our language sits up there, and then we've got our subconscious mind. And our subconscious

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mind, I'm going to call a robot. Yeah.

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So, it will obey every instruction that we give it. Okay? So, we program our subconscious

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mind, which also forms our habits and those sort of things. And we program it with our

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thoughts and the way we speak to people. So, the example I often give in training, especially

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when we're doing memory training, I always say to people, have you ever said this? Oh,

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I'm really bad at remembering names. Yeah.

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And a lot of people say that. And yeah, I'm really bad at remembering names. Oh, I can

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remember faces, but I can't remember names. Well, that's interesting because what they're

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doing is they're programming their subconscious mind. They're saying that I'm the sort of

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person who is bad at remembering names. And the thing about our subconscious, our subconscious

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will obey every instruction we give it, and it doesn't like to be wrong. It's a robot.

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It just follows the instructions. So, the next time that person meets somebody, they

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go up and they shake their hands and say, hi, I'm Guy. And they go, yeah, good day,

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I'm David. And then the brain goes, all right, David, what's David? Well, David's a name.

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What do we know about names? We're no good at names. Oh, I forget about David. Yeah.

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So, we program ourselves for failure.

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I remember when I first met you and I was going to have a procedure done on my foot

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and I needed a needle. And you, and I said to you, and I hate, I'm scared of needles.

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And you went, no, no, you were scared of needles. I'm thinking, who the hell are you to tell

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me whether I am or I'm not scared of needles? I'm scared of needles.

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I do know if everyone would do that because I do that all the time. Do you know why I

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do that? I know why, because it's a past tense. So, getting rid of that programming. And I

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still, I'm still working on it. I used to be. I was. I used to be afraid of needles.

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You're getting better every time. Yes, that's right.

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Because I had a fear of forgetting people's names. I had a bad memory when I was younger

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and then I studied it and I realized that if you say that you've got a bad memory, your

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memory has to then make that true. Yes. Yes. And so, whenever I hear people saying, oh,

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I'm bad at this, I'm scared of needles, I'm doing this, I always look at them, I go, you

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used to be. And then it's their choice to either go forward with that old mindset that

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they are scared of things or they can't do things or they forget things or they can go

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forward with a new mindset of, that's what I used to be like. Because when I hear somebody

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saying, oh, I hold a grudge or I get very angry when this happens, I go, do you want

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that to be a reality? And they go, what? I say, well, what you've just done is you've

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programmed your subconscious mind to make that a reality next time it happens and you

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have no control over your subconscious mind. It's just a robot that's going to obey the

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instruction you just gave it. So next time somebody cuts you off in the car, oh, I'm

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a hothead, comes out and they start yelling and screaming at the person. But if you say

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to yourself, oh, I'm very calm on the road, next time somebody cuts you off, you'll go,

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hmm, that was an interesting way to drive. Because the subconscious mind has to make

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the reality that you program into it. And I want to talk about what you have changed

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in your mind and what I've changed in my mind over the years. So I used to have a bad

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memory. I used to be a very shy, introverted little kid. And so not only did I have a bad

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memory for names, I didn't look people in the face when I was introduced to them because

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I was so shy. So imagine spending your childhood and your teens not really looking at people's

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faces because you were so shy and so introverted. And so not only did you not remember the name,

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quite often you didn't remember their face. And then I started studying and trying to

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find out how to fix this. And I realized that one, if I didn't look at their face, I'm

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looking to remember them. But if I told myself that I couldn't remember their name, that'll

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be a reality as well. And so that's the first time I started to get interested in the way

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the subconscious mind works. And we used to use this a lot in sport as well. So if you

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think you're the best, you'll be the best. If you think you're mediocre, you will be

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mediocre because our subconscious mind doesn't like to be wrong.

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Yeah. I'm just trying to think you sprung this on me.

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I did. I did. I said let's record a podcast on the subconscious mind without giving you

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any time to think about it. Well, if you want, I can talk a little bit more about it while

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you're thinking about how this may have applied. Now you've got a situation.

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Yeah, yeah, definitely. So I'm thinking, and it's an example I've given previously about

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crosswind takeoffs and landings when I was learning to fly. And I remember not enjoying

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windy days. So when this particular lesson came up, having to go out to do hour upon

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hour of crosswind takeoff and landings in a little Cherokee to get it kind of set in

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my mind. And afterwards, my instructor, he was quite clever in mind manipulation. And

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he said to me, see, you're an ace at this now. And it's like, oh, no, no, I don't particularly

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like them. He goes, no, you are always like, you are amazing. You, I reckon any day that

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it's windy, you would ace, you would be one of the best out there. You would ace it. And

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I'm kind of like, oh, I don't know. But every time it was windy, I would hear his voice

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in my head. And I started to believe it. And I do, I still love a windy day. It's like

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my best landings are windy days.

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Well, he's using a form of NLP, neuro-linguistic programming. He's putting, and something I

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like doing as well, you put thoughts into people's mind that interrupt their old paradigms,

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their old way of thinking. And so that's why when you said you didn't like needles, oh,

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you used to. I had to jump in there and give you a new one. And it's a very powerful technique

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when you're training people. So it sounds like he was quite gifted.

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He was. I use it on my kids as well all the time.

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Oh yeah, yeah. So do I. So do I. If I hear somebody with a limiting self-belief, I jump

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in straight away. Used to, used to. Or I'll throw in a different one. I don't agree with

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you. I actually think you're amazing at that. I think you're one of the better people at

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that. And you're learning how to do it. And every time you do it, you're getting better.

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I'm forcing that into people's minds, especially my kids.

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Have you ever said this? I should exercise more. I should eat healthier. Or I want to

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start this.

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We have a policy of no shoulds. No shoulding.

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Have you ever heard somebody say, oh, I want to go to the gym more. I want to do this.

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I want to do that. There's a really fascinating concept around that language. So if you say,

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I want to go to the gym more, for example, what you're actually saying is this is who

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I am now and I want to be somebody who goes to the gym more.

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But you're not.

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I am, this is me, but I want to go to the gym more. And one of the things that our brain

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does, when we wake up in the morning, we come out of sleep into consciousness. So unconscious

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to consciousness. Our brain has to kind of reboot and recreate how we go who we are.

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All right? So this is kind of like just a generalization. So when you wake up, your

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brain has to figure out who you are. And the way it does it is it goes through all your

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memories. Yeah? So it's got access to the memory of who you are and it reboots. And

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one of the memories that it finds is, oh, I'm somebody who wants to go to the gym, not

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somebody who goes to the gym. Okay, well, then don't go to the gym. Otherwise you'd

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be somebody who goes to the gym, not somebody who wants to go to the gym. And so the way

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we talk to people and the way we talk to ourselves creates our reality. So if you want to change

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something and you say, I want to, what you're actually saying is I'm never going to, because

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otherwise I'd be that person. Yeah. And so self-talk is such a powerful thing. What self-talk

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have you used to become the pilot that you became? Well, it's from Pete Sherry used to

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say to us, this is a language warning. I know this one. We said this one another time. Yeah,

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that's right. I'm the meanest mother fucker to ever fly at 737. But I am a pilot. I am

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a pilot when I was learning to fly because quite often you'd start, if you know, days

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didn't go as well as what you wanted to or I threw up. It was, there was the thing of

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rather than saying, I'm not going to throw up because quite often my brain will not hear

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the not and it will just hear, I'm going to throw up. It wouldn't. And I would say things

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like I suppose affirmations, positive affirmations would be I wake early with ease and I do,

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I get up early and I go for a walk every morning. It's a, you know, a non-negotiable. Mine is

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I'm the king of sleep. I've always had this belief. I don't remember ever being a bad

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sleeper. I'm sure that there was a point in time where I was just like everyone else and

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just didn't think about my sleep. But when I was learning about the subconscious mind

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and I also know how important sleep is, if you're listening and you don't know how important

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sleep is, go and listen to Dr. Matthew Walker. It's the most important thing that human beings

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do. It's sleep. And so I've always said, I'm the king of sleep. I can sleep anywhere, anytime,

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anyhow. I've always said that. And I've met a lot of people over the years who say, I'm

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really bad at sleeping. I'm a bad sleeper. And I say, well, do you want that to continue?

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And they go, no. And I say, well, stop saying it. Because what you're doing is you're programming

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your subconscious mind. As you get closer to bedtime, you recognize that we're getting

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close to the time that you should be going to sleep. And so if you have said all your

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life, I'm a bad sleeper, I'm a bad sleeper, your subconscious mind is listening and it's

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a robot. It's going to program that in. And so as you're getting closer to sleep, what

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it's going to do, it's going to release more cortisol into your system. Cortisol is in a

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constant battle with melatonin. When melatonin wins, you're asleep. When cortisol wins, you're

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awake. And so if you're getting close to bedtime and you've got this unconscious or subconscious

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belief that you're a bad sleeper, then your brain is going to make that a reality by releasing

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more cortisol and bringing all of the thoughts into your mind that are going to make you

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start thinking about all these things that you've got to do in your life to make sure

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that you've kept awake. But if you say, I'm the king or I'm the queen of sleep, as you

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get closer to bedtime, your brain's going, this is that part of the day that you're really

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good at. And so I've almost hypnotized myself to be able to sleep anywhere, anytime, even

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at dinner parties, which I'm quite famous for. I don't know if you know this about me,

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but all my friends tease me about this constantly. I like cooking paella. And when I put it on

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the table, it's been a four or five hour event because it starts from making the stock all

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the way to making the paella. I put it on the table. I'm quite exhausted and maybe a

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couple of wines in. And then as I put it on the table, everyone's dishing up their paella

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and I'm sleeping. It's my party trick. But the subconscious mind is such a powerful thing

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and people don't realize that we program it every day with our thoughts and our language

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and our conversations with other people.

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Michelle, do you have any mindsets or things or subconscious programs that you're playing

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your head?

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Yeah. So one I've been using of late and I've used it for a few years is everything always

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works out. And it does. If you give it time, you let it settle, you walk away, you come

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back, you hunker down. It always works out. So yeah, my self-talk, my affirmation is everything

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always works out.

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Yeah. And that would tie into your anti-fragility message that you talk about, that all adversity

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is an opportunity for us to grow and get stronger. All complex systems need adversity.

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That's right.

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And so if you've got the mindset of everything will work out, well, it always does because

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at the end of the adversity, you're stronger. You've learned something, you've grown.

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That's exactly it. And sometimes it may be in a way that you hadn't forecast, you hadn't

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predicted, but it does always and always seems to work out better than what I'd planned.

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I like this because it's very much the opposite of a victim mindset because a victim will

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hold an experience in their head forever. Oh, woe is me because of this thing. But yours

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is this thing made me stronger and it always works out in the end. So that once you get

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through the adversity, you look back at the adversity as an opportunity to grow, get stronger,

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but it also is an opportunity to come through the other end.

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Yes.

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Whereas a victim will come through the other end and will carry that adversity, that hurdle

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like it's a backpack full of blur that they have to drag with them through the rest of

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their lives rather than going, oh, wow, I got through that.

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Well, if you're using the same thought or analogy is when you go to the gym and you

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need to build muscle, you have to tear muscle. Yes. And then for it to rebuild, to come back

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bigger, then that's kind of how you. So everything always works out. It's that, okay, this kind

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of broke me a little or it stopped me at paused, whatever, or I had to detour or I took a different

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path. But ultimately I have come back bigger, stronger, better, lighter because you're not

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carrying all that that you were just talking about.

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Yeah. That's something I've had to really work out. I was very guilty, although that's

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not the right word to use. I was very good at being a victim early in my life and in

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different situations where I've gone through adversity, things that you wouldn't want to

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happen in your life. But like we often talk about now, everything that's happened to us

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in our life has created the people we are today.

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Yeah.

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And we've spoken about this off the podcast. We're both proud of where we've got to in

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our lives because of the shift in our mindsets. Whereas I have been periods in my life, a

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victim to my circumstances and carried around that victim energy, that victim mindset. And

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it wasn't nice. I mean, I was a young man and I didn't know better, but it's still,

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I look back and I think it was so debilitating and it stopped me from developing. But once

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you get rid of the victim energy, the victim mindset, and you see things as an opportunity

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to grow, get stronger, build, and everything works out for me, which is the one you said

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before. I've got a similar one. I don't really have words to it, but it's like, I'll be fine.

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I'll get there. I'll get through this is the way I look at it. And I guess it's very similar

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to yours. Everything will work out for me in the end. Yeah. Much more powerful than

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dragging around the negative experiences that we've gone through. Yeah. Why do we do that?

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Why do we attach them to this chain? It's comfortable. It's something we know. Yeah.

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It is something we know, but it's almost like sometimes we allow these events in our lives

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to be an anchor that we're dragging along on a chain that we're having to rip through

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the footpath as we walk forward. Metaphorical and dramatic now, but yeah, I guess I'm looking

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back at the old me that had that when I was younger, that you're holding this chain and

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dragging this anchor of victimhood, which is just going to slow you down. But if you

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can let it go and think, wow, what a fantastic experience that was that I got through it

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in the end and look at me now. Well, if you can look at it also that in order to know

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what happiness is, you have to have had sadness in your life. You need the contrast. Yeah.

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So you need the contrast. So we can look at that as contrast. Yeah. And now it's like,

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woohoo. Yeah. You can't have peace without the opposite. You can't have happiness without

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the opposite. Hmm. Oh, that got very deep in my head for a second. Yeah. We need that

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contrast, don't we? Yeah. Yeah. Where else have you changed your mindset to program better

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thoughts, better outcomes? Because there's a lot of, I've still got a couple of limiting

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mindsets that I'm working on. Every time I catch myself saying them, I go, oh, no, that's

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who I used to be. I used to be that person. Do you have any other? Oh, look, as you get

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older, of course, your body changes. Yeah. Mine has anyway. And so going from a young

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girl woman who never had to worry about what they ate and just walking to the fridge to

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get the next thing to eat, you know, made me lose two kilos to then now having to work

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at it if I want to maintain a weight and potentially watch what I eat, although I prefer to just

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do the extra work and eat what I want. That whole looking in the mirror and focusing on

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one particular aspect rather than the whole package. So my limiting belief has always

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been about, or limiting mindset about the size of what I see in the mirror somehow is

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my what's going to happen in the day and, or, you know, on the scales. So I got rid

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of the scales. They were lying to me. You're connecting that to how you're going to experience

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the rest of the day. That's right. Yeah. Which is really, which isn't healthy. And this happened

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quite, I realized it a few years ago when my eldest son was also focusing on his weight

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and image based on what I was saying. So I realized I was programming him also. Yeah.

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And he's a, he's a tall strapping man. So there's no way he's going to be the same weight,

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size, whatever, as his friends. Six foot seven, isn't it? That's right. So, so yeah, it was,

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so I thought, hang on. Nope. So through the scales, stop this, this self talk about, and

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just got into rather the energy. So, so my, my mind speak, the affirmations I was saying

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is I feel amazing today. And on those days where the energy is not as great, at that

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time I would try and pump myself to get myself up. Now, a few years later, I'm realizing,

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okay, like the seasons, you know, there are seasons to, to hibernate or to relax or to,

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to rebuild. And so if my energy is low on a particular day or particular run of days,

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it's like, okay, this is my autumn. This is my winter. So you're going to be kind to yourself.

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But I like the concept of something that you were doing in the morning was then setting

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up the rest of your day. And that's, that's some, something that I have been looking to

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a lot lately. If you, when you wake up, the very first thing you grab is your phone and

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you start swiping, then you'll get hit a dopamine. Swiping or scrolling? Swiping up, swiping

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down. You have to write. So it's scrolling. We'll call it scrolling. Swipe your finger

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across the screen, whichever direction. There's four directions. But yeah, scrolling. If the

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first thing you do is scroll on your phone and you get a hit of dopamine, your brain

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is now saying that's where my dopamine comes from. And you'll be grabbing your phone more

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often during the day and it sets you up for failure. And we've, most people have heard

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the whole concept of making the bed in the morning. When you get out of bed, make the

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bed because when you make the bed, you've achieved something and you're going to get

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a hit of dopamine. And so that's setting you up for success. I noticed over COVID because

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I spent a fair bit of time by myself and a fair bit of time scrolling on things like

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TikTok that my brain was getting hit to dopamine from, from technology. And then your brain

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becomes addicted to it. And you've heard of dopamine depletion, which is where people

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keep grabbing their phones and swiping and getting little hits of dopamine. It's not

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enough. And yeah, it's a, it's a bad thing. So I like starting the day with an activity

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that gives me dopamine, a reward chemical for something that is actually rewarding.

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Like make the bed, go for a walk, write a chapter, do something productive because when

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you get the dopamine from that source, you're training your brain to look for dopamine from

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productive sources rather than unproductive sources, if that makes sense.

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Yeah. Even sitting around the table, having breakfast or whatever with kids and just having

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a conversation. Yeah. Love. Yeah. No, it's good. Cause the way we prime our brains in

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the morning determines the success or opposite of the day. Yes. Yeah. That's right. Yeah.

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Our brains are powerful things. Okay. So, um, in tying this up, be very careful of what

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we put into our subconscious minds. Yeah. Yeah. I like the fact that, uh, the lower

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part of the brain, the subconscious mind is just a robot. Yep. Just say it can be programmed.

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It can be. Yeah. We should be very conscious of the programs that we put in there, the

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limiting and, and, uh, what's the opposite of limiting, um, encourage encouraging thoughts

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and mindsets and don't say, I want to say, I am, I go to the gym. I play the ukulele.

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I swim three times a week, state it as though it's you and your subconscious mind then is

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programmed to think it's you. And that is then you. Yeah. I like that. Okay. So the

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world will be a better place with more dogs. And if you'd like some merch, go to our website.

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We've got some merch, t-shirts and caps. More dogs spread the word. And whenever you're

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wearing one, uh, you always get people commenting, don't you? Absolutely. So it should come with

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a bit of a warning actually, because yeah, people will, they do have an opinion. So I'll

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be yes. Or they are a cat people that say no. Or there's people who aren't animal people

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at all. No, we don't need more dogs. That's right. Good to see you again, Michelle. Thanks

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guy. Well, that was fun. That was fun. You're such a clown. Lady captain. And who's going

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to listen to this? Thanks mom.