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Hello friends! Welcome to Rough Life! This episode is dropping a day late. I know y'all

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are just devastated about that, but we actually had a pretty rough storm come through yesterday,

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and it knocked a massive tree in our neighbor's yard down into our yard. It destroyed our fence,

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and it was just a huge mess. But anyways, y'all have told me before that you missed my story times,

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so I figured I would use this episode to tell you how insane my life has been this last week.

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Before we begin, let me remind y'all about the characters in my story. My husband's name is

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Justin. He and I have a long-term foster who I refuse to acknowledge as a foster fail. His name

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is Big Boy. He is pretty much on death's door. Every other week we're convinced he's dying,

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and then the next week he's the healthiest one in our house. I'm also fostering Peanut Butter,

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the used-to-be feral mama dog that you've heard me talk about. Okay, so I've had Peanut since

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February. I was originally planning for her to go on transport in April, but that didn't happen,

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and I noticed about two weeks ago Peanut started showing signs that she was going into heat.

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I called our vet, got her scheduled to be spayed the next week, and I just went ahead and got Big Boy

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scheduled to be neutered at the same time too. We had been putting off getting him neutered because

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he is in heart failure, and our vets didn't think he was healthy enough to survive it, but he was

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given the go ahead a few months ago. So me, as a veteran animal rescuer with every resource

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available to me and unlimited, not really, funds to do whatever I need to do, found myself in the

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exact same situation as the people I talk about on this podcast. Let me back up. Since March 1st,

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I remember it because it was my mother's birthday and she was at my house for dinner.

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We have been seeing this huge foxhound wandering around our neighborhood, and we live in a very

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urban neighborhood, especially for the south. We have no strays, everyone's dogs are kept in the

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house. It's very not southern. Anytime we got close to this dog though, he would take off running.

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He always seemed to be going in the same direction, so we, our entire block, just assumed he had a

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home and that he was getting out or, you know, something like that. He was very well fed, clean,

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a healthy looking dog. As the weeks went on, we saw him more and more often, but he never even

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came close enough for us to see if he was wearing a collar or not. He wouldn't even come up to Olly

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to play, nothing like that. Cut to two weeks ago when Miss Peanut went into heat, and suddenly we

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had a stalker. He was at our fence day and night. Fortunately, he was too big and too scared to dig

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under our fence or jump over it into our yard. Unfortunately, he was so good looking, Sweet Pea

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just could not help herself, and she would dig out literally multiple times a day. She's a good girl

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though, and would immediately regret her decision and walk around the corner a lot and come to the

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front door to be let in. The ultimate walk of shame. No matter what we did, how we filled in

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the holes or barricaded the fence, that Hussey would get out. Okay, so now it's surgery day.

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I forgot to mention that when I texted our vet to make the appointment, he asked me about taking

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a dog for him too. It is a seven month old purebred albino Doberman who was brought in at the end of

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February when he broke with Parvo. The owners told them to do whatever it took to save him because

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they just loved him so much. And then they never came back for him, and they never paid their bill.

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So for the last what, like two and a half months or so, this puppy has essentially been living in

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solitary confinement. He was in a concrete run with no blankets, no bed, no toys, and only taken

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outside a few times a day to go potty. And this is by no means a knock on the vet. They are not a

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doggie daycare. This is not some luxury camp you board your dog at. In fact, this was a huge nuisance

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to them because that was one less cage that they had opened to take in an actual medical emergency

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because this guy just completely ghosted them. And I'm not sure of the whole legal process,

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but it's something along the lines of they have to try so many different days and so many different

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avenues of contacting the owner before they can legally take possession of the dog. So they wrote

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him letters, they called, they texted, they left voicemails, and they didn't hear from him for two

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months or however long. So they just surrendered him to me. I won't go into a ton of detail on the

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Dilberman's personality. Suffice to say, he is a seven month old puppy that has had minimal human

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interaction for the last two plus months. We named him doofus and honestly, that name might be too

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smart for him. He is all legs and no brain. So Thursday, surgery day, I come home with a drugged

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up peanut, a barely survived surgery big boy, and a wide open and wild doofus. We typically go for a

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mile and a half walk with the dogs every day, but it was just all we could do to survive that day.

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So we skipped our walk that day. Peanut was so sore, she didn't even get up and go potty until

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that next day. And that next day. So the next day, Friday, when Justin gets home from work,

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we leash everybody up and we start our walk. Immediately, I can sense we're being followed.

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Every street we turn down, every potty break we stop and take, there's a sneaky little foxhound

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creeping behind us. We were actually shocked how many people stopped and asked us if he was our dog.

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And it made me laugh every time because we had four dogs with four leashes and collars on that we

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were walking. But that fifth one about 30 feet behind us with no collar, no leash. Yeah, yeah,

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he's with us too. We just don't like him as much as the others. But anyways, everyone we talked to

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would say they've been trying to catch him for months. Someone even posted him on Facebook twice,

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looking for the owners. One lady saw him almost get hit by a car two separate times.

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It became abundantly clear that this baby was not going home if he even had one. So I needed a bait

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dog. But not a bait dog used for fighting like you would normally hear me talk about. I tied

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poor peanut up in our backyard and I left the gate wide open. And he took the bait hook, line,

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and sinker. He was in the backyard before I even made the lap around the house. As soon as he saw

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me close the gate, though, he took off running to the back of our property before he realized he

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was fenced in. I just needed to get him in the backyard so that I could get close enough to scan

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him for a microchip. Then I was going to open the gate and let him be on his way again. He had been

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so feral that I knew this was going to be a huge challenge. So I had Justin come outside and helped

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me. He walked on one side of the yard. Ollie walked on the other and I walked down the middle. I don't

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know. I don't know how Ollie always knows what I'm doing and what I need help with, but he is

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seriously my right hand man. It took all three of us a total of 30 seconds before we had a new BFF.

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He followed me right in the house. He sat perfectly still while I scanned him for a microchip

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and scanned him again and scanned him again because I just knew he had to have a chip somewhere.

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No luck. I opened up the front door for him to leave and when I turned around he was curling up

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in the dog bed. Hmm. That's not what I had planned, but it's fine. This is fine. All we had to do was

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keep him away from Peanut. It was actually a breeze that evening because everyone was so tired.

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All five dogs, Ollie, Peanut, Big Boy, Doofus and our new friend, Boyfriend, they all just found a

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spot to sleep while we ate dinner and watched TV and honestly no one really moved. So around 1130

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we started getting ready for bed. If we only knew what the night had in store for us. I am not a

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rookie. Okay. Like I knew I needed to keep pee away from the unaltered males because even though

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she was spate, she still smelled like she was in heat and I absolutely was not going to let them

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hurt her incision. She just had major surgery and I treated her like a princess that whole weekend

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aside from the whole big dog thing, but that was fine. So Ollie and Peanut slept in our bedroom

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with us. Doofus, Big Boy and Boyfriend all knew how to use the doggy door and they had all been

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chummy that whole afternoon. So we left them loose in the rest of the house for 90 minutes straight.

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Doofus scratched outside our bedroom door crying to be let in. It was one of those things where

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you're thinking any minute he's going to stop and go to sleep. Any minute for 90 minutes we thought

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this any minute for 90 minutes. Finally, Justin said, I'm just going to bring him in here. He's

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unaltered, but he's a dumb baby and he had no idea Peanut was even female, let alone in heat.

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So he was fine to be around her. Finally, peace and quiet. I had just fallen asleep when I heard a

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super loud fart and actually scared me awake. It was one of those things where you're like,

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did I dream that? Or did I actually hear that? I woke Justin up and I asked him if he heard that

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and he didn't know what I was talking about. I laid there for a few more minutes and everyone

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was silent and still. So I assumed everything was fine. But I think in my heart of hearts though,

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I knew. I knew what that was, but I was so exhausted. It was almost 3am by them and I just,

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I didn't want to be right. Can you hear him barking? That's Doofus. That's Doofus barking

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right now because I'm recording this and I'm not letting him in the room with me. Like,

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he drives me so crazy. Okay, I put him outside. Maybe that'll help. Okay, so back to my story.

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This is why I type it all out on Facebook. You don't see how many times I stop and start because

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of all the dog interruptions. Okay, so it's now 3.45 and we're jolted awake when we heard fighting

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going on in the rest of the house between big boy and boyfriend. And it's so awful getting

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woken up like that from such a deep sleep because you don't have your wits about you yet. You're

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just running into the darkness. You have no idea what's going on. Everyone's confused. Everyone's

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running. And I don't know for sure that God loves me more than Justin. But it's moments like this

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that make me think he might. So Justin jumps out of bed and he goes running to the door and he gets

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there like a split second before me and he slides barefoot in a nice cold pile of diarrhea.

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And he almost wipes out in the hallway. So now not only is there a pile of diarrhea on my nice

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white carpet, there's diarrhea footprints thrown in the mix too. And I love that for me. I just love

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it. Side note, obviously in the moment we had no idea what was going on and why the boys got in a

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fight. But after checking the nanny cameras, I'm pretty sure what happened was boyfriend was sleeping

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in big boy's bed, which is fine. Big boy's a great sharer, but he's also a known cuddler. And he will

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climb on top of anyone to snuggle with them. I think he tried to do that with boyfriend. And I

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think boyfriend, understandably, was like, who the heck are you and what the heck are you doing

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trying to spoon me right now. And when he jumped up, I think it hurt big boy's incision because

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remember he had just been neutered to. And I think he thought boyfriend was the one hurting him.

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Basically, it was just a big misunderstanding. And they were already best friends by the time

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Justin slid into the hallway. Okay, so it's 4am now. I've thrown everyone except the princess

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in the backyard so we can clean everything up. I also decided it was just too stressful to keep

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boyfriend in the house with us that night. Peanut had to be separate. Big boy was fragile.

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Doofus was just wearing us out. It was just too much. So I opened our garage door and told him

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he could just go home tonight and come back in the morning to visit. He went on his way and

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walked into the front yard and I confidently closed the garage door and trotted back to bed.

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How naive of me to think that I would be going back to sleep anytime soon. I'm not even sure I

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got to the bed yet when I heard the most awful racket on our front door and honestly sounded

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like a full grown man trying to break down the door. Again, I thought to myself, he'll stop

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any minute, any minute he will stop. And he did. He stopped. He took a few steps back and he started

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the loudest bang I have ever heard in my life. If you've ever heard a hound dog, you know they

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don't bark. They don't even really howl. They scream. So for the sake of our neighbors, I brought

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him back in. This time though, I told him he had to sleep in the garage. We left Doofus in the house

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because he obviously needed to be able to get to the doggy door when he needed to. But we put a baby

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gate up so that he couldn't get to our bedroom door. Satisfied and with squeaky clean feet,

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Justin and I crawled back into bed. I don't even know what the time was then, but I know it was

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after five o'clock and we had just fallen back to sleep. When Doofus started barking so loud for so

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long, two sound machines didn't even drown him out. Literally with tears in my eyes, I rolled over

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to Justin and said, we're just going to have to put him and boyfriend in crates in the garage.

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So here we go again. Dogs in the backyard. Justin's in the front yard in his boxers,

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getting the crate out of my car. I'm in the garage with the door open with no pants on,

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setting up another crate. I know that our neighbors across the street have doorbell cameras, but I was

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so past caring at that point. Finally, Doof and boyfriend are settled in their crates. Peanut and

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Ollie are in our bedroom and Big Boy has the whole house to himself with all the dog beds.

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The thing about Big Boy though is he may be in heart failure, but he loves everyone with his

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whole heart and he loves them big. So when he heard his friends in the garage fighting for their

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lives in those crates, he was bound and determined to wake me up to let me know so I could go save

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them. After 30 minutes again of thinking any minute he's going to stop. I finally come to

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my senses and realize no, no, there's no stopping. They never stopped. They've never stopped. Why do I

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always think they will stop? I don't know. So I grab his bed, a bone, and I toss him in the garage

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with them as mad and exhausted as I was. It really was sweet seeing Big Boy run in there to his friends

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like, guys, I'm here. You're all right. I brought the human to save you. But it was almost six o'clock

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by that point. And Justin and I had only had about 90 minutes of sleep the whole night. So there was

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nothing sweet enough in the world to stop me from leaving them in there while I went back to bed.

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So finally we got a straight solid five hours of sleep. We got up sometime around 10 30 or 11

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and we went to free the captives. I had had a nanny camera on them the whole time that they were in

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there and I checked on them several times when I would like wake up to roll over, you know. So you

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can imagine my shock and horror when I walked into the garage to see do this had had explosive diarrhea

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all over himself, all over his crate and all over the concrete floor. And remember he's albino,

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like he is white as snow. And this diarrhea ain't so we could see everywhere on him. That was just

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straight diarrhea. So I get it cleaned up while Justin is straightening things back up in our

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war zone of a house from the night before. We have lunch and I find a foster to take doofus

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that afternoon. I pack up all his stuff. I load him up and I drive an hour and a half to Mississippi.

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While I'm gone, I figured it wouldn't hurt to leave boyfriend in the garage with the garage

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door open so he could go home if he wanted to. So Justin went in to work on some stuff on his

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computer and not long after I left, he came out of his office and he headed to the laundry room.

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He was totally caught off guard when boyfriend crossed right in front of him in the hallway.

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He said he could have sworn I told him I was leaving him outside but

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nevertheless he opened the front door and boyfriend walked right out. So Justin went in the laundry

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room to do a load of laundry. Because I married a man who does all of my laundry. How crazy is that?

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A few minutes later, he walked back into the house and he thought he was hallucinating.

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Boyfriend was standing in the kitchen right in front of him. He walked into our backyard and he

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saw that the gate had been open. As a totally rational human being, he assumed one of the

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neighbors saw boyfriend in our backyard earlier in the day and then when they saw him out in our

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front yard, they just went ahead and put him in the backyard for us. Never mind the fact that that

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would have meant that they left the gate open and somehow managed to grab this dog that still

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wouldn't come to anyone other than me and Justin. No worries though. He closed and latched the gate,

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put boyfriend in the front yard and went back in the house. Just as he was getting back to his

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office, he heard the doggie door open and was in total disbelief when boyfriend came walking up

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right behind him. He checked outside and the gate was open again. Because it was personal now,

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he closed the gate, put boyfriend in the front yard and stood on the deck in our backyard to see

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who this crazy person was that kept putting boyfriend in our backyard. Not two minutes later,

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boyfriend walked up to the gate, nudged open the latch, pushed the gate open, walked up the

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deck stairs, walked right past Justin and went in the doggie door to go lay down. Had Justin not

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gotten that on video, I would have never even believed him. So needless to say, boyfriend stayed

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in the house the rest of the time I was in Mississippi. So while I'm in Mississippi, this new foster

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was actually just right by my mom's house. So I loaded Ollie and Peanut up with me to take them

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for a walk in her woods, mostly to give Peanut a break from having to be separated from everyone,

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but also so Ollie could have some fun. We dropped Doofus off and the family absolutely loved him.

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I went to my mom's and we were having a nice walk in the woods. Life was grand. Things were looking

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up again. That was until I got a text from the new foster family telling me that their little

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Fru Fru dogs were terrified of this big old Doof. And she needed me to come pick him back up.

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So that means I drove three hours round trip for nothing. So Justin and I were so confused when

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I got home with the dog that I told him I was leaving with a foster and saw the dog that I had

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left outside so it could go back home asleep on our couch. Justin said, so nobody's leaving tonight.

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I said, nope. He said, so it's going to be just like last night. I said, yep.

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And he said, I'm honestly a little scared to go to bed tonight. I said, ditto. Thankfully though,

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we were a whole day wiser and things started off way better. We put everyone in crates in the garage.

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Things were much smoother with much less diarrhea. And on Monday, I took boyfriend to his new foster.

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Justin asked me where I was taking him and I said, I'm going to take him to the jail.

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He said, I think it's weird you guys call it that. I was so confused. And I asked him, I said,

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what do you want me to call it? And he said, the animal shelter. I said, you know, I'm talking

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about the actual human jail, right? The inmates foster for us. Tell me you don't listen to my

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podcast without telling me you don't listen to my podcast, Justin. I've talked on two separate

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episodes about how the inmates foster for us and we love it. Anyway, that was all about a week ago.

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We're still stuck with doofus, but things are going much smoother now. This episode was way

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longer than I meant for it to be. I guess I had been blocking out how many traumatic events we

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lived through during those first 24 hours. It's a rough life, but someone's got to do it.

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Doofus.