WEBVTT 00:00:01.070 --> 00:00:03.390 Hello everybody and welcome back to the SoCap 00:00:03.390 --> 00:00:07.129 Improv Comedy Podcast. My name is Ralph. I am 00:00:07.129 --> 00:00:09.250 the owner and artistic director of the SoCap 00:00:09.250 --> 00:00:12.609 Improv Comedy Theatre in Toronto, Ontario, Canada. 00:00:12.849 --> 00:00:18.309 SoCap .ca, 154 Danforth Avenue in Toronto, near 00:00:18.309 --> 00:00:22.609 the Broadview subway station. Yeah, and we do 00:00:22.609 --> 00:00:27.649 improv classes, shows. rentals, uh, corporate 00:00:27.649 --> 00:00:30.329 events, private events, uh, check out my other 00:00:30.329 --> 00:00:34.750 company. Yes. Unlimited. Yes. Unlimited .ca for 00:00:34.750 --> 00:00:38.009 all your corporate improv needs. Um, whether 00:00:38.009 --> 00:00:42.210 it's team building, leadership, uh, uh, creativity, 00:00:42.289 --> 00:00:48.750 brainstorming, um, I guess, you know, well, no, 00:00:48.770 --> 00:00:50.469 I mean, that's specialized in all that and including, 00:00:50.570 --> 00:00:53.189 uh, I was just thinking about, you know, helping 00:00:53.189 --> 00:00:56.200 your, um, Well, it's team building, right? Helping 00:00:56.200 --> 00:01:01.579 your employees bond. Yeah, so many things that 00:01:01.579 --> 00:01:04.340 improv is really great for. And this podcast 00:01:04.340 --> 00:01:08.599 is about improv. And I try to pay attention to 00:01:08.599 --> 00:01:13.180 improv for non -performers. Like why would, which 00:01:13.180 --> 00:01:16.040 is the bulk of my students, which are the bulk 00:01:16.040 --> 00:01:18.040 of my students. The bulk of my students are not 00:01:18.040 --> 00:01:20.959 interested in performing. Although many will 00:01:20.959 --> 00:01:23.060 get on stage, even if it's not their first inclination. 00:01:23.299 --> 00:01:26.319 But that's more about, I believe, more about 00:01:26.319 --> 00:01:31.500 stretching comfort zones and, you know, doing 00:01:31.500 --> 00:01:35.200 seeking discomfort, doing things that are tough 00:01:35.200 --> 00:01:38.359 because they are tough because of what that will 00:01:38.359 --> 00:01:43.079 benefit you in the longer run. Yeah. So that's 00:01:43.079 --> 00:01:46.379 that's what I'm that's what I'm about. And as 00:01:46.379 --> 00:01:48.980 I was alluding to, most of the students that 00:01:48.980 --> 00:01:51.650 I have. are not interested in performing. And 00:01:51.650 --> 00:01:55.189 if you're a regular listener to this podcast, 00:01:55.329 --> 00:01:57.590 you're like, yes, Ralph, we know. Move on. Okay, 00:01:57.670 --> 00:02:00.069 fair enough. I'm going to work on making that 00:02:00.069 --> 00:02:03.530 intro shorter and shorter and shorter because 00:02:03.530 --> 00:02:07.370 I try to keep this to 10 to 15 minutes. And if 00:02:07.370 --> 00:02:09.370 I'm using the first five minutes to talk about 00:02:09.370 --> 00:02:12.009 the same old thing, it's not really getting to 00:02:12.009 --> 00:02:14.110 a lot of content. So I want to focus more on 00:02:14.110 --> 00:02:17.129 content and less on introductions. So I'm going 00:02:17.129 --> 00:02:20.810 to try and keep that shorter. Anyway. Today, 00:02:20.810 --> 00:02:23.930 you know, there's a very curious thing that happens 00:02:23.930 --> 00:02:26.650 if you've ever been fortunate enough to fall 00:02:26.650 --> 00:02:32.909 in love with someone. It's a wonderful experience. 00:02:34.389 --> 00:02:39.949 And part of that process that happens when you 00:02:39.949 --> 00:02:42.729 meet someone and you start to fall in love with 00:02:42.729 --> 00:02:45.129 them. And the same thing happens with friends 00:02:45.129 --> 00:02:48.409 on, I guess, a less intense level or a different. 00:02:48.780 --> 00:02:50.939 sort of level a different kind of experience 00:02:50.939 --> 00:02:55.199 but they're similar uh in that you know when 00:02:55.199 --> 00:02:58.039 you're falling in love you one tends to lose 00:02:58.039 --> 00:03:00.240 oneself in the good sense of the word and you 00:03:00.240 --> 00:03:02.500 start thinking about the other person and you 00:03:02.500 --> 00:03:05.659 become much more focused on the experience um 00:03:05.659 --> 00:03:08.759 and part of that focusing on the experience is 00:03:08.759 --> 00:03:11.080 well you can't stop thinking about that other 00:03:11.080 --> 00:03:14.439 person you uh when they talk you're very attentive 00:03:14.439 --> 00:03:18.590 uh you're very agreeable Whatever they do, you 00:03:18.590 --> 00:03:21.370 tend to like it. Now, in six months, the same 00:03:21.370 --> 00:03:24.490 things will drive you nuts. Once you get out 00:03:24.490 --> 00:03:28.030 of that limerence phase or that loving, that 00:03:28.030 --> 00:03:30.310 first phase, a limerence is what it's called. 00:03:30.409 --> 00:03:32.830 And it's the first, whatever, six months to a 00:03:32.830 --> 00:03:36.150 year and a half where, yeah, you're gaga about 00:03:36.150 --> 00:03:38.030 that other person. You make up cute names for 00:03:38.030 --> 00:03:40.729 each other. And, you know, and what's going on 00:03:40.729 --> 00:03:42.650 or part of what's going on is, yeah, the losing 00:03:42.650 --> 00:03:45.810 of oneself, the self -consciousness goes away. 00:03:46.830 --> 00:03:49.270 in large part, and you're focused on this other 00:03:49.270 --> 00:03:52.849 person and their needs and what they're doing. 00:03:53.550 --> 00:03:57.789 And the same thing happens when you are with 00:03:57.789 --> 00:04:00.689 really good friends and you're laughing. Your 00:04:00.689 --> 00:04:03.810 self -consciousness, your ego, the sense of yourself 00:04:03.810 --> 00:04:09.050 is sort of submerged or disappears for a while. 00:04:09.169 --> 00:04:12.189 And you forget your own selfish needs. And I 00:04:12.189 --> 00:04:15.580 say selfish, not in a bad way. But we all have 00:04:15.580 --> 00:04:18.720 needs when we meet people and interact with them. 00:04:19.300 --> 00:04:21.699 And those needs, it doesn't mean that they're 00:04:21.699 --> 00:04:25.500 bad. Like a lot of us, our need is to be liked 00:04:25.500 --> 00:04:31.100 or to be seen as smart, worthwhile, intelligent, 00:04:31.680 --> 00:04:35.060 a range of things. And, you know, when I say 00:04:35.060 --> 00:04:36.819 we need things from other people, it doesn't 00:04:36.819 --> 00:04:39.800 mean we need, you know, their obedience or allegiance. 00:04:39.939 --> 00:04:42.600 No, sometimes it's just we want to be thought 00:04:42.600 --> 00:04:49.000 of as good people. part of the group. With really 00:04:49.000 --> 00:04:53.839 good friends, falling in love, flirting, I think 00:04:53.839 --> 00:04:55.680 probably it also happens sometimes in crowds. 00:04:57.040 --> 00:05:00.180 If you're a sports fan and you're with other 00:05:00.180 --> 00:05:05.180 sports fans in a setting like a bar or a stadium 00:05:05.180 --> 00:05:07.699 or an arena or something and you're cheering 00:05:07.699 --> 00:05:10.319 your home team, you lose yourself and get caught 00:05:10.319 --> 00:05:13.600 up in an experience. That's what it is. It's 00:05:13.600 --> 00:05:16.560 an experience. And I have a podcast where one 00:05:16.560 --> 00:05:19.459 of the improv rules for life is serve the experience. 00:05:20.120 --> 00:05:22.519 As much as you can, try to get over yourself, 00:05:22.819 --> 00:05:25.920 your self -consciousness, and serve the experience. 00:05:27.699 --> 00:05:30.560 As I was thinking about this podcast, it also 00:05:30.560 --> 00:05:34.560 came to me that, you know, like photographs. 00:05:36.100 --> 00:05:38.079 It's probably, I don't know if it's less so now 00:05:38.079 --> 00:05:41.399 because everybody's filming all the time. But 00:05:41.399 --> 00:05:44.279 certainly back in the day before, you know, cell 00:05:44.279 --> 00:05:46.220 phone cameras and everybody had to pull out an 00:05:46.220 --> 00:05:49.779 actual camera. You could just see everybody's 00:05:49.779 --> 00:05:52.259 back stiff and everybody gets a little bit more 00:05:52.259 --> 00:05:56.379 self -conscious, right? They try to hide their 00:05:56.379 --> 00:06:00.379 real status. And, you know, the best photos always 00:06:00.379 --> 00:06:04.300 were, in my opinion, candid photos. Like photos 00:06:04.300 --> 00:06:08.009 when the subject, I mean, photos of people. where 00:06:08.009 --> 00:06:12.269 the person being photographed didn't know, right? 00:06:12.329 --> 00:06:14.970 And that's not always, of course, there are people 00:06:14.970 --> 00:06:16.769 who are professionals at getting their photo 00:06:16.769 --> 00:06:20.730 taken. They're pretty good actors as well. Or 00:06:20.730 --> 00:06:22.889 professional photographers are good at capturing 00:06:22.889 --> 00:06:26.269 moments when people know there's a camera coming 00:06:26.269 --> 00:06:28.069 at them. But in general, like for people who 00:06:28.069 --> 00:06:30.550 are novices, both in front of and behind the 00:06:30.550 --> 00:06:33.329 camera, the best photos are candid photos when 00:06:33.329 --> 00:06:36.079 the self -consciousness goes away. And so what 00:06:36.079 --> 00:06:37.740 does all of this have to do with improv? Well, 00:06:37.860 --> 00:06:45.439 I was observing, I had a class last week, and 00:06:45.439 --> 00:06:48.939 an interesting thing happened in that there were 00:06:48.939 --> 00:06:53.779 scenes, there was a scene back to back, and in 00:06:53.779 --> 00:06:58.800 the first scene, both these scenes were, I wouldn't 00:06:58.800 --> 00:07:02.199 say very funny. They dealt with real subject 00:07:02.199 --> 00:07:04.779 matter. There were certainly some laughs in them, 00:07:04.819 --> 00:07:08.939 but they were more real. There were more people 00:07:08.939 --> 00:07:12.180 talking about real things. Just two people having 00:07:12.180 --> 00:07:14.360 a conversation. And these conversations were, 00:07:14.360 --> 00:07:17.819 by and large, very true of themselves. So it 00:07:17.819 --> 00:07:20.079 was almost like watching a documentary in a way. 00:07:21.740 --> 00:07:25.759 And one was very riveting. And the second wasn't. 00:07:26.519 --> 00:07:31.370 And as I was watching the second one... What 00:07:31.370 --> 00:07:37.149 made it more riveting was, in my opinion, that 00:07:37.149 --> 00:07:41.449 the people taking part in the scene had lost 00:07:41.449 --> 00:07:45.910 that sense of their need. Their ego was gone. 00:07:46.189 --> 00:07:51.430 And there was an ease about them. There was an 00:07:51.430 --> 00:07:55.290 informality, if you like, even though they were 00:07:55.290 --> 00:07:59.089 presentations being on stage, that kind of actor 00:07:59.089 --> 00:08:05.759 quality. Whenever, if you are an improviser or 00:08:05.759 --> 00:08:07.540 you watch people, the minute the scene starts, 00:08:07.660 --> 00:08:09.680 people tend to get their back a little straight. 00:08:10.019 --> 00:08:12.980 Sometimes their voice changes a little bit. Some 00:08:12.980 --> 00:08:17.360 people adopt postures on stage. And this is all 00:08:17.360 --> 00:08:19.420 part of their self -conscious coming out in their 00:08:19.420 --> 00:08:25.259 bodies. And I have noticed that for a while, 00:08:25.379 --> 00:08:29.160 that the people that are really compelling to 00:08:29.160 --> 00:08:33.539 watch, and even the ones that are funny, but 00:08:33.539 --> 00:08:35.120 the ones that you really can't take your eyes 00:08:35.120 --> 00:08:37.759 off of and you really want to, oh, more of that, 00:08:37.840 --> 00:08:42.980 please, are those individuals who on stage, their 00:08:42.980 --> 00:08:46.559 sense of what they need, you know, their need 00:08:46.559 --> 00:08:49.980 to be liked, their need to be interesting or 00:08:49.980 --> 00:08:53.399 entertaining goes away. And they are part of 00:08:53.399 --> 00:08:57.120 an experience that as someone watching them, 00:08:57.200 --> 00:09:00.519 you become part of as well. And then the whole 00:09:00.519 --> 00:09:05.460 audience and people on stage, if it's on stage 00:09:05.460 --> 00:09:08.340 and it's an audience, or if you're in a dinner 00:09:08.340 --> 00:09:10.779 party and you're holding court, the same kind 00:09:10.779 --> 00:09:13.539 of thing happens where people just get caught 00:09:13.539 --> 00:09:16.299 up in an experience and they lose sense of themselves. 00:09:16.700 --> 00:09:20.460 And how captivating that is. Being in the moment 00:09:20.460 --> 00:09:25.379 is, I think, captivating for all of us. We love 00:09:25.379 --> 00:09:28.759 getting swept up in moments. Whether it's game 00:09:28.759 --> 00:09:33.600 seven of some sporting event, an amazing story, 00:09:33.879 --> 00:09:38.340 whether it's a play, a movie, a book, a television 00:09:38.340 --> 00:09:43.320 show, a YouTube video. These are moments where 00:09:43.320 --> 00:09:46.159 you forget the past and the future and you're 00:09:46.159 --> 00:09:48.580 just caught up in this moment in time, this moment 00:09:48.580 --> 00:09:51.799 we call eternity. Eternity is not a when. Eternity 00:09:51.799 --> 00:09:54.450 is right now. It's this moment. This one, this 00:09:54.450 --> 00:09:56.970 moment that just stretches on and on and on, 00:09:56.990 --> 00:09:59.909 the here and now, the present. And so one of 00:09:59.909 --> 00:10:02.009 the things that makes people captivating on stage 00:10:02.009 --> 00:10:05.629 to watch is when they can submerge their ego 00:10:05.629 --> 00:10:09.789 and submerge their selfish needs and just be 00:10:09.789 --> 00:10:13.370 in a time and place serving an experience and 00:10:13.370 --> 00:10:16.710 being totally okay with what happens. No matter 00:10:16.710 --> 00:10:19.590 what the other person says, their mindset is 00:10:19.590 --> 00:10:23.070 like, perfect. What you just said did. expressed 00:10:23.070 --> 00:10:27.169 was perfect and i'm just going to deal with that 00:10:27.169 --> 00:10:29.889 i'm not going to try to change your mind i'm 00:10:29.889 --> 00:10:32.850 not going to make you see my point of view which 00:10:32.850 --> 00:10:35.049 is changing your mind i'm not going to convince 00:10:35.049 --> 00:10:38.409 you of anything except i'm going to honor what 00:10:38.409 --> 00:10:40.629 you just said and deal with that in some way 00:10:40.629 --> 00:10:44.970 so and to me that comes from the suppression 00:10:44.970 --> 00:10:48.090 of the ego which is one of these things that's 00:10:48.090 --> 00:10:52.830 easy to say but incredibly difficult to do And 00:10:52.830 --> 00:10:56.629 so I would encourage you to look into that and 00:10:56.629 --> 00:10:59.710 see if there is a way to do it. For me, it comes 00:10:59.710 --> 00:11:02.389 through laughter and it comes through suspension 00:11:02.389 --> 00:11:05.429 of judgment. When you're with people who are 00:11:05.429 --> 00:11:11.809 suspending judgment and opening up, we tend to 00:11:11.809 --> 00:11:15.029 open up. We sort of overcome our fear. And that's 00:11:15.029 --> 00:11:19.250 it. It's letting go of your fear. You know, John 00:11:19.250 --> 00:11:21.629 Cleese once said about creativity, the surest 00:11:21.629 --> 00:11:23.809 way to kill creativity is the fear that people 00:11:23.809 --> 00:11:27.070 will make a mistake. And I think that's very 00:11:27.070 --> 00:11:31.409 wise. And I think that's true. That the minute 00:11:31.409 --> 00:11:33.750 we are concerned that something we will say or 00:11:33.750 --> 00:11:37.110 do will be taken, will be judged negatively or 00:11:37.110 --> 00:11:40.610 seen as a mistake, makes us want to be safe. 00:11:40.970 --> 00:11:43.470 And then we shut down all these ideas that are 00:11:43.470 --> 00:11:47.100 coming up and popping out of us. You know, and 00:11:47.100 --> 00:11:48.919 where do these ideas come from? They come from 00:11:48.919 --> 00:11:51.080 our subconscious and they come from our, you 00:11:51.080 --> 00:11:54.799 know, I think desire, maybe not desire, that's 00:11:54.799 --> 00:11:56.419 the wrong word, but they come from our subconscious. 00:11:56.500 --> 00:12:01.139 And our subconscious, you know, most of our behavior 00:12:01.139 --> 00:12:04.480 is subconscious. We just, after it happens, we 00:12:04.480 --> 00:12:06.340 give ourselves a conscious reason why we chose 00:12:06.340 --> 00:12:09.539 that, which is, you know, I'm not going to talk 00:12:09.539 --> 00:12:11.980 about free will in this podcast, but that's, 00:12:11.980 --> 00:12:17.419 to me, that's what's going on. Creativity first 00:12:17.419 --> 00:12:21.220 is getting over the desire or the fear of making 00:12:21.220 --> 00:12:24.379 mistakes. To embrace the desire of the experience 00:12:24.379 --> 00:12:30.360 over my selfish needs. And to be relaxed in a 00:12:30.360 --> 00:12:34.059 moment. Again, easy to say. Much easier to say 00:12:34.059 --> 00:12:40.919 than to do. And so the only other thing I can 00:12:40.919 --> 00:12:44.299 think of about a recommendation. is to find places 00:12:44.299 --> 00:12:46.159 where you can do that when the stakes are very 00:12:46.159 --> 00:12:50.860 very small you know like uh wanting to do that 00:12:50.860 --> 00:12:52.740 and going on stage for the first time it's not 00:12:52.740 --> 00:12:55.940 compatible with uh trying to get out of your 00:12:55.940 --> 00:12:58.940 head and serve an experience i mean anybody i 00:12:58.940 --> 00:13:01.899 think on stage for the first time is going to 00:13:01.899 --> 00:13:04.740 be so focused on themselves which with good reason 00:13:04.740 --> 00:13:07.039 i'm not i'm not saying that's foolish of course 00:13:07.039 --> 00:13:10.500 that in the second time too uh but the first 00:13:10.500 --> 00:13:13.110 you know but uh But by and large, over time, 00:13:13.210 --> 00:13:17.570 the repetition of it hopefully will allow one 00:13:17.570 --> 00:13:22.769 to put that aside. And that's what I would suggest 00:13:22.769 --> 00:13:29.610 is finding ways where you can let go of your 00:13:29.610 --> 00:13:33.110 need, whatever your need is. And that's part 00:13:33.110 --> 00:13:36.289 of looking deep inside yourself and figuring 00:13:36.289 --> 00:13:40.320 out what your... gimmick is like what is it that 00:13:40.320 --> 00:13:45.440 you need from people maybe you don't know um 00:13:45.440 --> 00:13:49.019 but that's a whole that's a whole other thing 00:13:49.019 --> 00:13:52.120 but anyway what i just wanted to you know like 00:13:52.120 --> 00:13:55.080 to go back to serving the experience and letting 00:13:55.080 --> 00:13:59.139 go of your selfish needs and your yeah need to 00:13:59.139 --> 00:14:01.399 get things from people and just serve the experience 00:14:01.399 --> 00:14:03.679 i think if you can do that if you can find a 00:14:03.679 --> 00:14:05.980 way to make that happen And again, at low stakes, 00:14:06.220 --> 00:14:10.899 it's hard when the stakes. It's like play. You 00:14:10.899 --> 00:14:15.860 can play with people when there's no stake on 00:14:15.860 --> 00:14:20.039 the outcome. Like if you play a sport with somebody 00:14:20.039 --> 00:14:22.720 or a board game, there's desire to win. We all 00:14:22.720 --> 00:14:26.639 have the desire to win. Nobody wants to lose 00:14:26.639 --> 00:14:30.159 when there's actual chess, right? I want to win 00:14:30.159 --> 00:14:32.759 at chess. I'm still going to enjoy it. and probably 00:14:32.759 --> 00:14:34.740 have a good time, but I want to win. So there's 00:14:34.740 --> 00:14:37.980 stakes. But with improv, one thing that's great 00:14:37.980 --> 00:14:40.700 about the playing of improv is there shouldn't 00:14:40.700 --> 00:14:44.539 be stakes, or as much as possible, there's no 00:14:44.539 --> 00:14:47.620 stake for me to win, for my character to win. 00:14:48.120 --> 00:14:50.899 What I want to do is serve an experience so that 00:14:50.899 --> 00:14:54.000 we both win. Anyway, that's my time today. Try 00:14:54.000 --> 00:14:56.799 to find a time and a place where you can let 00:14:56.799 --> 00:15:03.539 go of your needs to be impressive. uh funny uh 00:15:03.539 --> 00:15:08.360 liked and just get into the experience try to 00:15:08.360 --> 00:15:12.279 let yourself go easy to say difficult to do anyway 00:15:12.279 --> 00:15:15.460 thanks so much everybody uh that's my time see 00:15:15.460 --> 00:15:18.200 you next time here on the improv so cap improv 00:15:18.200 --> 00:15:21.639 comedy podcast have a great week be kind bye