Hello, I wore my fanciest pants today, but stuff still happened.
So what's up?
It's back.
We're back.
The Titan submersible.
I mean it's not back, it's blipped out of existence at the bottom of the ocean.
But the story's back.
If you recall the much simpler time when we were all just dunking on the people who were
stuck in the Titan submersible underwater before it imploded, you might recall that they
released a transcript that showed that the submersible was communicating with the mothership
saying like, hey, we're seeing some stuff happen and it's not great, but we're adjusting
course and we're going to fix it.
And then they went silent.
People were pouring over this transcript being like, oh my god, does this mean that they're
like aware that things are going bad or they're slowly suffocating and they know that they're
never going to see the light of day again?
Nope.
Turns out, complete lie.
There's been an ongoing investigation into the situation, obviously.
The lad from the Coast Guard who's leading this all up looked into it and found out that
it's just bullshit.
It turns out that the transcript from the mothership to the submersible, which as a
reminder used a $20 Logitech controller to be controlled and materials that everyone
in the industry knew not to use, it was all fake.
But instead, let me read you the actual transcript.
Quote.
Unquote.
It seems much more likely and likely better for those on board that they just blipped out
of existence.
They had no idea what was coming and, boop.
Quite literally, investigator lad from Coast Guard said, I'm confident it's a false transcript.
And I'm confident that it was unnecessary.
I love the notion from billionaire folk that it's on humans to push the limits and do
all this crazy stuff because reasons.
But the reason is I have so much money that I have fulfilled every possible desire and
the only thing left is to go to extreme lengths to try to feel something.
Those extreme lengths aren't making a name for yourself in history by feeding the poor
and housing the homeless.
Let's just go to the bottom of the ocean.
Because I want to look at the other rich people who died at the bottom of the ocean.
Quite literally, this fucking guy.
Elon Musk is a weird little eugenicist creep who wants to have as many children as possible
because he thinks that his genes are how we save the world.
I'm going to say up front, this is not a gag.
This is not a joke.
The tech elites in Silicon Valley genuinely are in a cult.
The actual foundation of Silicon Valley is like literally rooted in eugenics.
That's just a thing.
That is not a conspiracy theory.
That is a documented, understood phenomenon.
And it continues to this day as the tech elites from across the nation are all just doing
weird shit.
Some of them are trying to have as many kids as possible because they believe that they
are geniuses and peak humanity and must seed the next generation of geniuses to keep the
world spinning.
That's a thing.
Elon's one of them.
Or they take the Peter Thiel route, a longtime peer of Elon who is all about injecting himself
with the blood of the young to try to achieve immortality.
I'm going to say that again.
I'm going to say that one more time.
Injecting himself with the blood of the young.
This is super villain shit.
But while Elon's all big happy about the fact that Tesla investors voted to give him his
$50 billion pay package, which is quite literally incomparable to any amount of money anyone's
been paid for anything ever, he would like for you to not pay attention to the fact that
he has been sexually harassing and forcing women into having his children at his companies.
I assume in some cases it was enthusiastic engagement because the creepiness of being
a part of this cult is not limited to men.
But the Wall Street Journal put out a report that is one of many now about Elon just serially
going through women in his companies at SpaceX, Tesla, etc.
And either having sex with them because he can or asking them to father his children.
Oh, including at least one intern.
I assume you're aware of the age of interns.
The report came from interviews of dozens of women and their family members and people
associated with the situations.
These women were basically approached by Elon.
He was like, Hey, have my kids.
And if they said no, they were given poor performance reviews and denied promotions.
The dude has at least 10 children that we're aware of with several women where there's
definitely more.
He absolutely has kids we don't know about because cult.
I cannot stress enough that these dudes at the top of tech have been filtered.
They've been curated by the system.
They are the most sociopathic self-centered people who have been told their entire lives
that they are the smartest people ever and that they are what humanity will look towards
to solve all of our problems.
And they found companies that can have global impact via the internet.
And so they see themselves as gods.
And what do gods deserve?
Unlimited pleasure and immortality.
That's their goal.
These are the people who heard of the concept of immortality and they were like, that sounds
great instead of that sounds exhausting and unnatural and not a thing that humans were
meant to do.
Do I understand the impetus?
I get it.
When I was younger and stupid, I also wanted to be immortal.
But now I'm slightly older and still stupid, but I don't want to be immortal.
Mortality leads to appreciation of now.
I appreciate you.
Now, appreciation over.
Hunter Biden was found guilty of having guns while being on narcotics.
Now look, I don't give a shit.
I truly don't.
I'm not going to say here and be like, this is a huge scandal and blah, blah, blah, blah.
It's a crime.
It's kind of a dumb crime, but it's a crime.
The only reason this has gotten really any kind of traction is because the GOP has been
pushing super, super hard to try to have some counter situation to go against the crimes,
the many, many, many crimes that Trump did do and was convicted of.
But they're like, see, you can't trust Biden's because crime.
Now vote for Trump.
This is really great for riling up their base.
Their base loves to hate on Hunter Biden, right?
The whole laptop thing and all of it.
But this is just like a GOP strategy, right?
Like, yes, Hunter Biden was found guilty.
I don't care about that, but it's what they're going to try to push as their strategy.
The GOP is spending so much money when they could just be like, yo, old Joe is a drip.
Could you imagine?
Can you imagine how spicy GOP attack ads could be if they just hired a leftist?
You are wasting your money, the GOP, on ads that don't matter because they're not crafted
by the people who hate the Democrats the most.
So while I have you here, the GOP, while you're still listening to my advice, hey, fuck off.
Dissolve your organization and repent.
You have been the cause of increased suffering in the country that I grew up in for my entire
life.
So, hey, fuck you.
Gaming.
A studio with developers from Baldur's Gate 3 and Gone Home are putting together a city
builder that is less focused on resource extraction and more focused on resource balance, sort
of like an anti-colonial city builder.
Ubisoft had their big announcement event.
Forward is what theirs is called.
Everyone's got a name for it.
It's Ubisoft games are coming out.
Ubisoft?
Ubisoft.
Ubihard.
Anyway, you know what the games are.
It's Assassin's Creed again and all the other ones again.
Valve is being sued in the UK for 650 million.
Great British pound-os.
The pound-o-rinos.
According to the lawsuit, Valve has been using their market dominance to essentially overcharge
UK customers for many years.
This has to do more with the way that pricing works on Steam than like Valve being actively
malicious necessarily, but still, they have massive market dominance and that shouldn't
be a thing.
Jackbox Games is finally releasing a unified launcher for all of their games so that you
don't have to like guess which game is in which pack and then no one wants to play anymore
because you've just been fiddling with launching and closing programs for the past 20 minutes
at the party that you were trying to have fun at and now everyone's like why is this
weird nerd trying to have us play TV games?
And it's only going to be on Steam, huh?
Sony is adding more native Discord support to the PS5 so where you could previously start
a Discord call on your phone and transfer it to the PS5, you'll now be able to access
all of your voice chats and text chats directly through the PS5 UI on Discord.
Neat.
Lightning round.
Apple were injured when unexploded ordinance from World War II that was stashed in like
a military academy basement, it blew up.
They were putting something in a box.
Arizona released Rudy Giuliani mug shots associated with his fake electors scheme stuff from 2020.
That's very good.
Apple had a bunch of announcements from WWDC, their yearly big developers conference.
iOS 18 is going to support RCS so you'll be able to like do rich communication with
Android people and a bunch of other features.
The boy Howdy did they play down the RCS support.
There are some genuinely really cool additions that they've announced but it's also their
turn to do all the AI stuff and so they're baking a whole bunch of AI stuff directly
into their operating system.
Speaking of baking AI into your operating system, Microsoft tried to do that and is
already backtracking.
They are already delaying the release of their recall system after massive backlash because
obviously.
Former and seemingly WWE wannabe villain John Fetterman caused a high speed car crash recently.
According to staffers, he's known for being a distracted driver, driving too fast, being
on video calls while driving and like reading articles and stuff while driving.
And then he crashed.
This dude ran on a massively progressive platform and duped a whole bunch of people into voting
for him then turned around and said fuck you progressives.
I'm not progressive.
Elon has decreed that people can no longer see who liked what on Twitter.
Fakes on Twitter are now private by default.
You used to be able to set them to private on your own before that was an option.
Now they're all private.
And finally for today, OpenAI who makes chat GPT which is the AI system that powers basically
all of the other AI systems that you likely use every day has added a former NSA director
to their board.
This is the company that Apple just announced a partnership with and Microsoft uses for
all their AIs and basically every random AI chatbot.
It's all powered by the same thing.
And that company now has an NSA guy on the board.
What if instead of dumping all of the money we've been dumping into AI which causes like
untold environmental harm by the way was instead being put into figuring out how we don't have
to rely on fucking cobalt.
But I guess it's easier to just keep paying white dudes $50 billion instead.
Thank you so much for listening to today's episode of Stuff Keeps Happening.
And to SKH.News for sources, bonus content, and my submersible that you can sign up to
go on an underwater trip to go see Atlantis.
My name is Endeavorance.
I'll be back on Monday.
Take care and be well.