Hello. I completed a profane ritual to become ascendant, but stuff still happened.
So what's up? The tidal wave of AI bullshit continues. Just the absolute madness. Y'all,
like, we told you, we told you AI was a bad idea. Like, we told you we knew this. You shoulda
listen. Sam Altman, the CEO of OpenAI, is a weird little creep who's obsessed with the movie
Her. The movie where Joaquin Phoenix falls in love with an AI voiced by Scarlett Johansson,
that one. Now, like, this has been all over every news cycle. So this might not be news,
but they ripped off Scarlett Johansson's voice for chat GPT. Here's the order of operations.
Sam Altman tweeted Her. Just tweeted it. Just that. That's it. That was the tweet. And then,
soon after that, OpenAI did a new demo where they were like, look at our new AI. Its voice
is new and it fucking flirts with you for some reason. So they did a demo where, like, you know,
they're playing with the AI and the AI is like, ha ha ha, let me get that dick. That's not exactly.
That was my, I guess that's what Scarlett Johansson sounds like in my head. Hello, it's me. Black
Widow. Anyway, came out that Scarlett Johansson was not very happy about the fact that this AI
sounded just like Her and also came out that Sam Altman went to Scarlett Johansson and was like,
hey, can you, can you, you want to, can you, can you voice my AI? And she was like, no, stop that.
You're creepy. And then they basically tried to just replicate Scarlett Johansson's voice anyway.
Like, come on now. Let's not kid ourselves. Let's not kid ourselves. The dude's not a genius.
He's just a creep and wants to fuck a computer. That's it. Or Scarlett Johansson. Why not though?
So they've already pulled the voice because obviously, because like, hella legal trouble.
Because all of this is hella legal trouble. Replicating voices, replicating the voice of
someone famous or the voice of someone who sounds like they could be someone famous and
not really being able to prove how we made that voice or who it's supposed to be.
It's a mess and it shouldn't be in a barely functional consumer product. I want to be super
clear. Sam Altman, the head of open AI, he also thinks that the movie, The Social Network,
was supposed to be an inspirational film inspiring tech entrepreneurs. So if you
need an aborometer for what kind of a person or how his brain functions, there you go.
Let's put this man in charge of artificial intelligence that's supposed to change humanity.
He seems like the right choice. And that doesn't even get into like, Google's new search AI
summarizer, recommending that people put glue in their pizza and gasoline in their spaghetti.
Hey Google, maybe dull. Take that, Gen Xers. Millennials are gonna have a saint.
Haha, maybe. The Vatican might make a millennial saint, y'all. Carlo Acutis was born in 1991,
which makes him a millennial. He tragically died of leukemia at 15. Fuck cancer. But while he was
alive, he had a website where he indexed miracles. And I am not a religion boy, but I'm not gonna
tell you not to believe in miracles. Ow, ow, ow. But this dude was indexing miracles. He was all
about it. And then apparently performed a couple. Maybe the Vatican has formally acknowledged two
miracles from the late teenager. One was involving curing brain bleed and the other was involving
curing a, I think like, pancreas situation? Pretty sure. I'd make a good doctor. Yo,
you've got a serious pancreas situation. Anyway, the Pope has already done like the first step
towards canonizing this guy. We might actually have a millennial saint soon bopping around in
heaven being like, hey, I'm adulting. Where's my avocado toast? What? I don't know. The jokes
about millennials, like they weren't ever funny, but now they're actively like, they suck the funny
out of the room. I'm not saying that because like I'm insulted or whatever as a millennial. I'm
saying that because like, we're not, no one cares anymore. It's obnoxious that millennials are even
in the spotlight. We're just, we're pouring now. We're just the ones that are supposed to go to work.
Like we're just the ones that are in that part of our life, right? Go to work, come home, have very
little cultural impact. And then here I am making avocado toast jokes about a guy that died of leukemia
who just wanted to help people. Hey, no baby. Oh, bathwater. Oh God. Remember back in 2019 when
Belle Delphine sold her bathwater? She didn't make any money from that. Well, she did, but PayPal
stole it. Neat. Well, not neat. She should get paid. In a recent post from Belle Delphine herself,
she announced that when back when that happened, she made like 90 grand, but PayPal froze her account
and kept the assets. She still kept good on her sales. She actually shipped the bathwater to
everybody and all that, but she didn't get a cent. She lost money actually. PayPal froze the account
and kept the 90 grand as like fees or something. There's an argument to be made that a bad
interpretation of one of PayPal's policies could be applied to the sales that she was making.
But after she made this post, they were like, oh yeah, no, that was wrong. Here's your money.
Five years on. Of course, at the time she tried to get in contact with PayPal and be like,
hi, I would like my nearly 100 grand now, please. And they're like, sorry, it's nothing we can do
about it. PayPal's famously helpful customer service. So ultimately, she just now got her money,
but she also made the very salient point of what if this was just a random person and not
someone with massive influence on the internet. They probably would not have gotten their money
back from PayPal. Maybe having private companies be the things that control the movement of money,
you know, companies that have an interest in finding any way to prevent you from getting your
money. Maybe that shouldn't be how we transfer money. The International Criminal Court is seeking
a warrant for the arrest of the leaders of Israel and Hamas. They are seeking to try them for war
crimes because of the war crimes they're doing. But despite the ICC wanting to arrest people for
war crimes, the US is like, that is the official statement. That's the official stance. But for
real, the US is looking around and we're seeing fewer and fewer friends who are sticking by us.
As more and more countries are like, hey, this is a fucking genocide. Ireland, Spain and Norway
all recently acknowledged Palestine as a state. And they're like, hey, this is not good. When
pressed about it, Biden's national security advisor was like, yeah, it's real, you know,
it's regrettable. Also, we think that the right thing to do is to let Israel keep doing this,
but ask them very nicely to stop killing all the civilians. That seems to be,
that's a good, let's try that one. And just to make sure that they have the fighting chance to
not kill civilians, let's give them more munitions that just blow everything up recklessly. The
White House also wants to make it clear that Biden has real mixed feelings about this. And it's
just, it's just, you know, he just wishes that everyone could just get along, which is why he's
supplying one side with weapons. Oh, right, right. No, he stopped his shipment or he tried to stop
his shipment that one time. What a good guy. What a good guy. Gaming. The Paper Mario 1000 year
door remake is out on Switch and you should play it. That game rules. Paper Mario is like one of
my favorite franchises, except for the fact that the vast majority of the games that they've made
in that franchise are bad. The first three are rad. I haven't played, I haven't played, um, um,
the Switch one though, but seriously, Paper Mario 1000 year door is a better game than Paper Mario
one, which is my favorite game. I also recently played Paper Mario 1000 year door on my stream,
but it was the, it wasn't the remake. I'm assuming Nintendo dropped the remake because they saw my
stream. Oh, and in the remake, in the, in the English version of the remake, they finally made
good and they recanonized one of your sidekicks as trans. She was always trans in the international
version of the original and not in the English version. WB is multi versus Smash Bros. like game
is coming out this week. I hope it's, I hope it's good. I don't really care about WB franchises.
I do like platform fighters. Behold a peach main. What is up? Nanananana. Bungie has won a pretty
landmark court case despite not making, they didn't make a lot of money off of it, but it's
still an important court case. Phoenix Digital, who owns a company that was making cheats for Destiny
2, has been fine and has to pay like $63,210 to Bungie, which is approximately the price of
one premium piece of armor from the Bungie store. But more importantly, they won it on like copyright
grounds. The jury awarded Bungie the win on the grounds that you, you can't be making cheats for
our game. That's you're breaking the rules. The notable thing here isn't necessarily that Bungie,
you know, like rooted out some cheap developers. They've done that a bunch of times and they've
made that like a bit of a crusade of theirs. The notable thing is the jury decision. This is setting
a precedent that cheap software can violate copyright. That is notable. If only we could
set a precedent of having stable connections during my raids. Lightning round. Spotify will
be bricking their car thing, which was a piece of hardware they put out less than a year ago,
and they're just going to shut it down. If you bought one and you've been using it, it will no
longer be functional at the end of this year and you will not be getting a refund. The creator of
the Super Size Me documentary has died at age 53 from cancer. Fuck, cancer. The Chicago rat hole
is officially gone. A city had to pay out nearly a million dollars to a man who was basically tortured
by cops for 17 hours trying to get him to admit to killing his father. His father was alive. The
cops threatened to kill the man's dog. They tried to force him to admit to a crime that he literally
didn't do. That's what they do. 17 hours. Here's a quote from the lawyer involved. Quote,
in my 40 years of suing the police, I have never seen that level of deliberate cruelty. The average
age of a car on American roads has risen to a record 12.6 years old, which is honestly not all
that old for cars. Like, we don't stop buying new cars all the time, which I mean, you're already
doing that, I guess, because the average age went up. So good job. Or, or maybe we just don't have
money. There is an Amazon shareholder vote on a bunch of different company policies, most of which
were around like how to ethically handle AI and how to be good to our workers. And every proposal
was voted down. Despite nobody asking, YouTube is rolling out their new desktop website redesign and
you fuck enjoy. And finally for today, rip to a real one. ICQ messenger is shutting down.
Thank you so much for listening to today's episode of Stuff Keeps Happening. Head to
SKH.News for sources, bonus content and instructions on how you too can become ascendant.
My name is Endeavorance. I'll be back on Monday. Take care and be well.