Hello, I've busted out the sweatpants once again.
But stuff still happens.
So what's up?
Oh, sorry, let me try that again, actually.
Oh, how did I do good overnight?
The president of Iran and a bunch of other high ranking officials
of the country died in a helicopter crash.
This happened like hours ago.
I didn't I didn't write for this to be in this newsletter.
But I feel like it's important.
I should mention this up front.
I I it's a bit sus.
Weird, the leader of a country that was going against
the American and Israeli interests suddenly dead helicopter crash.
He's not my favorite guy, but like what?
Like I checked my list of favorite guys
and the president of Iran is not on the list,
but also is dead from a helicopter crash
right after pushing back against Western imperialism.
So anyway, I originally planned to have a really great
happy start to this episode.
So let's go to that.
Humans are very impressive.
I promise.
I know we talk about a lot of bummers on this show.
Let's instead not do that and talk about some really positive things.
Here's three amazing accomplishments from humans.
One, whoosh, two skydivers or wingsuit flyer people
did some really awesome wingsuit flying in London.
They like went off of a helicopter and flew through Tower Bridge
and then like back up and then they were like, boom.
That was cool.
At peak speed, they were going over 150 miles an hour,
which is a bit faster than I am able to run.
Check it.
Number two, and this is actually two achievements in one,
two Mount Everest achievements.
Kamirida Sherpa, one of the best names I've heard in a long time,
has summited the mountain 29 times, setting a new world record.
That is 29 more summits than I have done.
Meanwhile, Kenton Cool, we're just continuing the good names,
has summited the mountain 18 times.
He's a British climber.
This is the world record for foreigners climbing the mountain.
I put a note in here.
I'm just going to address a small group of people
who would have been me from a couple of years ago.
Would have thought this.
It's the only reason I address it.
If you're going to hear a thing about Mount Everest
and people pulling off, like getting to the top of Mount Everest,
and you're like, oh, well, like anybody can pay
and just get to the top of Everest these days.
It's like a tourist trap.
Bruh, it's a big mountain.
Like it's not a big one, though.
And people die on it.
And like so many people have died on it,
that their corpses are waypoints.
So like, I don't know, going up at 29 times or even 18 times
seems like it's notable.
Anyway, third thing, holy god.
Dorothy Jean Tillman II, we're capping off with the best of the names,
has become the youngest person to achieve a doctorate in her field at age 17.
She studied some kind of health field that I don't understand.
Probably because I'm not a 17-year-old doctorate holder.
She got her associates in 2016, her bachelors in 2018,
and her masters in 2020.
In 2021, she started her doctorate program at age 15.
I was lying to Newgrounds about my age when I was 15.
So yeah, humans, pretty impressive.
Except for Greg Abbott.
Greg Abbott is a piece of shit.
Texas Governor Greg Abbott.
An elected official who is arguably the leader of a state with people living there.
Has pardoned a murderer, like just kind of gave a whole ass pardon to a whole ass murderer.
In 2020, Daniel Perry, a murderer, murdered Garrett Foster,
who was at a Black Lives Matter rally.
Both of these men were former U.S. military service members.
One of them posted online about how he might have to go kill some people on his drive to work,
because there was a Black Lives Matter protest going on,
and he referred to the people who were protesting for civil rights
as monkeys, flinging their shit.
Perry then drove his car through a crowd of protesters, shot and killed Garrett Foster,
and drove off like the coward that he is.
He posted online about wanting to kill people, and then he killed people.
And then he was convicted of murder because of the killing that he did.
But of course, right-wing pundits have been calling for this man to be pardoned for years.
So that's the thing that the governor does.
Because it doesn't matter.
It's just about political points.
The argument that they're using is self-defense,
that Daniel Perry was simply acting in self-defense,
and Texas' Stand Your Ground laws are the reason that he's being pardoned.
He drove his car into a crowd of protesters.
They're trying to take the same defense as Rittenhouse,
where it's like, oh, but he killed a person who was protesting the wrong stuff.
So it's okay that he did the kill.
I can crack jokes and I can smile in the face of the absolute absurdity of the world that we live in.
That's what I do.
That is my job right now.
It doesn't change the fact that this is just pure evil.
Instead of policy, instead of trying to improve the lives of anyone,
it's just a matter of tapping into what's going to rile people up the most and doing that.
It doesn't matter the morality.
It doesn't matter the legality.
It doesn't matter the hypocrisy.
And they know it.
You finding this out doesn't change anything.
That they don't care.
It is not lost on them.
That this is understood.
But they don't consider you a threat.
And they don't consider you a factor in their decision making.
Otherwise, they probably wouldn't be pardoning murderers
or just doing all of the other overt crimes that they do.
You know?
So ultimately, my heart goes out to the family of Garrett Foster.
The death of their loved one is being made a mockery of.
All right.
Back up.
We're going back up with the vibes.
Turns out the internet is kind of okay.
According to an Oxford study of over 2 million people across 168 countries,
the internet is pretty good.
The Oxford study looked into the well-being of people
who were connected to the internet.
And across virtually every version of well-being
that they interpreted went up with having internet connections.
This makes sense, right?
Like there's a lot of oof about social media
rotting our brains and being terrible for like self-image
and anxiety and stress and everything that I feel.
But it also connects you to your loved ones
and answers questions about illnesses
and gives you advice and gives you a glimpse
into the outside world and lets you experience things
you never would have thought and many, many, many more things.
If we didn't have the internet,
you could be trapped in a situation where you're like walking around
wondering how tall Barack Obama is
and you wouldn't be able to get that information readily.
I don't want that kind of existence.
But regardless, as somebody who works in technology
and also finds the internet to be generally oof, maybe it's ight.
Classic boomer.
Wife bad.
Supreme Court Justice Samuel Alito has pulled the Blame My Wife card
after it came out that he was flying a upside down American flag
over his house during the whole 2020 election denial kerfuffle.
Weird mindless husks of carbon who thought that Trump won the 2020 election
and should be reinstalled as president
were flying upside down American flags out front of their house
as like a sign of solidarity.
One of those houses include Supreme Court Justice Alito.
A Supreme Court Justice.
So obviously it's like, hey, maybe somebody sitting on our weird
high council position shouldn't be that closely aligned with a president
who did crimes and those crimes that are now being looked into by the Supreme Court.
Which he sits on.
His response?
My wife did it.
Blame her.
My wife did it specifically because she was upset by our neighbor's yard signs
and was in distress.
Apparently the neighbor at some point called her a cunt.
And so she was like, devolve, damn, time to fly an upside down American flag.
Distress.
And so like in one reality, he's, you know,
aligned with the criminal ex-presidents blah, blah, blah, blah, blah,
high council, all that crap.
In the other reality, his wife got called a cunt and was so upset by that
that she flew an upside down American flag out front of one of the country's
highest ranking officials house.
What?
Bro.
So either she did it or she didn't.
And either he blamed his wife or something to try to get out of being blamed.
Holy God, this man sits on a high council.
That's what the Supreme Court is.
It's a high council and they decide our fate.
And he's like, blame my wife.
Wife bad.
Dear Lord.
Gaming.
Because speed runners and game analyzers are incredible people,
the unopenable door in Super Mario 64, the frozen, the chill mountain level, has been open.
The video itself has big half a press energy.
New GTA potential launch date is fall 2025.
They made a fallout show that did pretty good and now they're putting that in everything.
So fallout is coming to fortnight.
There's no other way to shoot guns in the fallout universe than fortnight.
Turnbrace strategy game endless legend is free right now on steam for the next like
three days from time of posting until May 23rd.
So go get it.
Like it's literally just go get it.
It's a good game.
We've got a new look at what might be Valve's next game called deadlock.
It's being like beta tested or something right now.
It looks like it's in the valorant overwatching space,
but possibly with like more MOBA elements or something we shall see.
If you forgot, Valve makes video games sometimes lightning round after having signed a bill in
2022 that allowed people to challenge and remove books from schools.
Run to Sanctus is signing a new bill that restricts that because obviously people have
been misusing it.
Granted, he's blaming a lib who wanted to remove the Bible from schools as the reason.
So yeah, not all the people trying to ban every other book according to science people.
We can expect more solar storms in the coming months, possibly years.
We're just getting started, baby.
The King Charles official portrait came out and it instantly became a meme.
Honestly, it's wonderful.
I'm gonna be real though.
Like it's a good pay.
I don't know.
It's hysterical.
But artistically, I like it.
Google is pushing their AI generated search results to everyone, despite nobody asking.
Democrat mayor of New York City and former cop Eric Adams has implied that immigrants should
be lifeguards because they're quote, good swimmers.
Sorry, excellent swimmers.
Gotta get that quote right.
According to his grandson, Jimmy Carter is nearing the end of his life.
He's been in hospice care for over a year.
I, wow, I talked about that on an episode of Stuff Keeps Happening.
That was over a year?
Time is an illusion.
More Google stuff.
Google is pushing an AI video generator thing.
And it's being promoted by Donald Glover, which is a bummer.
More and more Google stuff.
They locked out a writer's ability to share her book that she was writing in Google Docs
because they deemed the content inappropriate.
This is a reminder.
If you're writing anything in Google Docs, they see it and they analyze it.
Shout out to Obsidian.
What up?
The Supreme Court passed a ruling that the Consumer Financial Protection Bureau
can stick around.
Conservative groups are pushing to get rid of the Consumer Financial Protection Bureau,
but it's going to stay.
So hey, maybe consumers should have any, any protections at all.
And finally for today, this makes my heart sing.
An Australian mining billionaire is pretty upset because an Indigenous artist
painted a pretty good likeness of her.
Really captured her essence of what kind of a piece of shit this woman is.
And it was in a museum and she's trying to get rid of it.
A whole-ass Streisand effect situation.
If you were listening to this episode, you can, you can find the image.
I'll put it, I'll put it in the newsletter.
You can tap through if you want to appreciate it.
Thank you so much for listening to today's episode of Stuff Keeps Happening.
Head to skh.news for sources, bonus content, and that very, very good likeness.
My name is Endeavorance.
I'll be back on Monday.
Take care and be well.