Hello, I turned off my faucet while brushing my teeth.
But stuff still happened.
So what's up?
TikTok is your new destination for long form video.
Aren't you excited for that?
While YouTube and Instagram have been doing everything they can to try to recapture
the lightning in a bottle that TikTok got, TikTok is now doing the same thing to YouTube.
But the wrong way.
TikTok has announced that they are going to be actively pushing long form videos
that are in the horizontal format on for you pages.
That thing that everyone didn't ask for.
Like, we all understand that turning your phone sideways,
that's too much effort for your average for you page experience.
I'm not going to do that.
I will say this is not like the stupidest idea ever.
Right? Like, it would be kind of nice to have a long form video option on TikTok
that's like a separate feed in a separate page or something.
Like, I don't want to be posting long form stuff and then it's just mixed in
with my dags. It's just weird. I don't know.
It's the same thing with the text posting stuff.
They introduced text posting right when Twitter started to fall apart.
And that could have been a huge hit if they made like a text post for you page.
But instead, they're just like, hey, let's intermingle these boring text posts
with super high energy videos.
People will definitely like that.
Tech companies have like literally no idea what they're doing anymore, y'all.
I hope it's clear.
But anyway, enough about TikTok.
How about TikTok, your destination for muted videos?
If you haven't already heard, TikTok and Universal Media Group, UMG,
are splitting ways. UMG is a massive media publisher.
They've got the rights to just so many artists, including like Taylor Swift
and everyone. The contract between TikTok and UMG
is what allowed you to use their music on your videos for freezies.
Except not not anymore.
Ha ha. Idiot.
TikTok and UMG failed to come to an agreement with a new contract.
And in return, UMG is pulling their streaming rights from TikTok,
which means any video that you have made using UMG music on TikTok
can no longer be streamed legally.
And so to cover their ass, TikTok is just going to mute all of them.
This is a reminder to record your videos outside of TikTok
and then upload them or save a copy before posting.
Because this happened.
This is why I'm always a champion of having a hard copy of your files locally
on your devices, like you cannot trust services to just maintain things.
Even if they try real hard, even if they do everything right,
technically, a legal situation could have them ruin your files.
Anyway, it might come back.
I think that there's a non-zero chance that they could go back
and figure out the rights and unmute the videos and whatnot.
But it's also worth noting that like TikTok isn't the one being screwed over here.
Like, fuck UMG. I'm not defending them.
But part of the reason they couldn't come to an agreement was
TikTok didn't want to pay out to artists more.
Where have I heard that before?
So who knows, maybe someday soon, TikTok will actually pay out to artists
what they're worth, given that music on TikTok is like the core of the app.
We shall see.
Ahem, ahem, ahem.
Trans rights are human rights.
Let's talk about some recent authoritarian and overreaching
restrictions that lawmakers have put on their own citizens across the United States.
A single official of the Department of Transportation in Florida
has unilaterally determined that you are not allowed to express yourself
on government documents.
Instead, the government, who requires you to have this documentation,
will determine how you are allowed to be referred to, taking away your autonomy
and making it so that if you happen to have a piece of plastic in your pocket
that has the letter M on it and you don't have a penis, that's illegal.
I'm sure there are no more important things going on in that state.
But over in Ohio, lawmakers are busy overriding the governor's veto
of a bill that restricts health care options for citizens, specifically
their younger citizens.
It restricts what parents are able to do to seek health care for well documented conditions.
It goes further to restrict what extracurriculars
children are allowed to participate in in school based on their genitals.
And then in Utah, Governor Cox
Governor Cox has decided to restrict your freedom of movement
and determine what rooms you are and are not allowed to go into based on your cocks.
Yes, he assigned a bill into law that makes it so that depending on what government
documents say about you, that determines what bathroom you are legally mandated to use.
Of course, all of these bills are targeting trans people who just want to live their life,
who are a small portion of the population that just want to be left the fuck alone
and yet are dealing with a cavalcade of laws restricting their rights and trying to erase them.
Laws that set precedent and hand the government more power to determine exactly how you live your life.
We do not need more cops and we certainly do not need penis cops.
It's social night. Congress.
Social. Well, it's social hearing day at Congress.
Yesterday was going well.
Yesterday, a bunch of social media CEOs testified in front of Congress talking about child exploitation.
We love we love this topic.
Yeah, you had good old Zuck.
Then you had CEOs from TikTok, Discord, Twitter and Snap.
All who were saying, you know, we really care.
We care. We really we do care. Kind of.
At one point, Zuckerberg actually stood up and turned to the ocean of parents of victimized children
that were sitting in the audience behind him.
And he was like, sorry, bro.
Sorry that the wealth of my empire was built atop the backs of your abused children.
Bit of a weird statement.
And then he, I don't know, got into his private jet and flew home to his cattle farm.
What is going on?
Anyway, you might see a lot of like clips from this, but not a whole lot really happened.
It was just a lot more of like the CEOs were all like, oh, we care.
We really care. We're focusing and investing a lot.
And then the lawmakers were like, I don't believe you.
So we're going to pass laws that invade people's privacy.
So we've seen that we've seen this before and we're going to see it again.
Lightning round.
Some dude in the UK was pulled over by the cops because he was running around with a refrigerator strapped to his back.
Turns out he's training to run a marathon with a refrigerator strapped to his back.
It's for a good cause, though. He's raising money for diabetes.
Undercover Israeli forces dressed up as women and hospital staff conducted an operation in a hospital in the West Bank where they're not at war, killing people in the hospital.
Their official statement is that it was Hamas there operating and they've given no proof for that.
That's a general theme when it comes to Israel and hospitals.
Someone may have discovered the final resting place of Amelia Earhart's crashed plane.
They use like sonar and they were under the water and they see what they think is her plane.
Not confirmed, but that's hype.
Elon Musk tried to give himself an over 50 billion dollar compensation package from Tesla and a court threw that out.
To be fair, it was the Tesla board that was going to give him that compensation package.
It was him.
And now he's big mad.
He's like, why can't I pay myself the exact amount of money I need to cover my losses from Twitter?
And he insists that this payment is for the good of humanity because he has to fight the existential threat of extinction so we can go to Mars or whatever.
And the only way we can do that is if we give Elon Musk 50 billion dollars.
The $3,500 Apple Vision Pro AR VR headset is out and it's getting reviews and the reviews are pretty funny.
The thing seems like it has some really, really cool tech and a lot of really impressive parts and also a lot of really stupid parts.
A researcher has successfully used E. coli bacteria with luminescent proteins to display imagery and they used it to display doom.
Like the video game.
We ran doom on cells.
Asterisk. It wasn't running on cells.
Block, also known as Square, the payments company, is laying off a thousand people.
And finally for today, despite having some trouble with the landing and having gone dormant for a little while, Japan's lunar rover has come back to life.
It's charged up and it's ready to go.
We are hype for Japanese lunar rovers.
Thank you so much for listening to today's episode of Stuff Keeps Happening.
Head to Stuff Keeps Happening.
Online for sources, bonus content and the schematics to make your very own Japanese lunar lander.
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My name is Endeavorance.
I'll be back on Monday.
Take care and be well.