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Hello.

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According to the calendar, it's 2024.

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But stuff still happens.

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So what's up?

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In this moment, I am a smug boy because I do not use Substack for my newsletter.

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Substack is a popular paid newsletter hosting service, and they're currently getting some flak

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because of the Nazis they're hosting.

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See, people who are hosting newsletters on Substack are like, hey, Substack, so we're noticing that there's some Nazi newsletters here,

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and you profit off of the newsletters that are sold here.

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What's going on there?

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To which Substack said, oh, oh, dang, you know, we know that they're there.

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It's a real shame that that's happening, huh?

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And so then again, publishers on Substack were like, okay, cool, well, you're aware of it.

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So maybe get rid of it.

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Yeah?

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No, no, I don't think so.

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See, Substack wants to position themselves as some sort of agnostic infrastructure service,

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and it's regrettable that their infrastructure is being used by Nazis to spread hatred,

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but it would be uncouth to take them off of the platform.

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It is critically important that we give safe harbor to people to spread hate and vitriol.

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They're taking the usual tech bro, mafris peach approach.

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It doesn't matter.

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They're profiting off of hate speech, and they know it.

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And so we're already seeing some publications move off of Substack because of this and to another service.

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I personally use a thing called Ghost to host the Stuff Keeps Happening newsletter.

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Ghost is open source and doesn't take a cut of each sale.

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Like that's not their business model.

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And so already by switching, you can just get past the whole Substack taking 10% of your profits thing

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and the whole Substack also profiting off of Nazis, who you're sharing a website with thing.

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Let me tell you, when I say that airplanes aren't supposed to have giant gaping holes in them,

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I'm being serious.

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I'm a serious boy.

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I've never been unserious in my life ever.

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All right, you've probably already heard about this,

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but Alaska Airlines had to have an emergency landing recently after one of their planes had a door just blow off the airplane mid-flight.

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Kind of a door. It's called a plug door.

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It's like an optional door.

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It's like a maintenance thing.

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When they build the plane, they put in things that can be taken out to modify the plane.

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This was one of those things that could optionally be removed.

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That's not supposed to happen accidentally though.

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But an Alaska Airline flight took off from Portland, Oregon,

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and before they were even able to reach cruising altitude, one of these plug doors just kind of blew off the cabin.

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Miraculously, nobody was sitting in the seats next to where the thing blew off.

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They probably would have just gotten sucked out of the airplane.

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Reportedly, anybody who was holding a phone, no longer was holding a phone after the hole opened up.

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And the airplane depressurized, all the masks dropped, and it was a whole ass emergency.

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Astonishingly, nobody was made dead, and that's really good.

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I don't think that the people who were on the plane are doing particularly well right now.

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I would assume they're having some trouble.

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I would hope for a class action lawsuit, and I would hope for the free mental health care, because holy God.

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Since this event, the FAA has grounded over a hundred of the same model of airplanes that this plane was, which is the 737 MAX.

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You may recall the Boeing 737 MAX previously had a couple of planes just decide to crash themselves,

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because they're garbage, because Boeing has made the very conscious business decision

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to compromise the safety of their aircraft to maximize profits, which is, and I say this unironically, a winning business strategy.

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A 13-year-old has beaten Tetris for the first time in human history after playing it for two years.

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Not the same game he was practicing it for two years.

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So you might be wondering, how the hell do you beat Tetris?

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Well, you don't, but you can crash the game by getting to a very specific game state by playing it a very specific way.

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And often this is referred to as a kill screen.

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You basically like got to the end of the game being able to run itself, functionally you have won.

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Now, this has been a theoretical thing in Tetris for a long time, and up until this moment, only computers had ever actually done it.

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They were programmed to do it, or an AI did it, but now a 13-year-old did it.

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Willis Gibson watched a couple of YouTube videos about Tetris and was like, yo, this is pretty cool.

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I can get into this. And they got into it, and they got into it.

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Two years later, new world record. Notably, like just a couple of weeks later, somebody else did it as well.

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I don't know what these in the water, but suddenly we're really good at Tetris.

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Anyway, when I was 13, I was doing things.

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I was doing less headline worthy things.

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All right, the Epstein list is out. Let's talk about it and let's just get past it.

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Okay, here we go. First of all, you're probably tired of hearing about it.

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Second of all, it's not a list. It's a bunch of documents, like hundreds and hundreds of pages of court documents,

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not just like an index of all the pedophiles.

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A name appearing among these documents does not necessarily mean that they are guilty.

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It just means that their name came up probably in a transcript at some point.

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They could have said literally anything in the courtroom and it would be in these documents.

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That said, of course, it does also give us some pretty excruciating details about some of the stuff that went down,

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and I'm not going to get into it because it is deeply disturbing.

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I have links to the full documents in my newsletter if you want to go read it for yourself,

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but largely, stay away from Prince Andrew.

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There's also a lot of mention of the Clintons.

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Trump has mentioned a few times, but like again, like not necessarily in the context of,

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yes, he did the pedophile.

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Interestingly, Stephen Hawking, the late physicist, is also implicated,

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but he's also been previously implicated. He was previously photographed on Epstein's Island.

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Anyway, I have some advice for you.

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Just listen for a second.

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Don't prey on children.

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It doesn't seem like a particularly hard ask.

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I have managed to not prey on children my whole life.

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It's exceedingly easy.

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You just don't do that.

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Simple.

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Here's a challenge.

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If you are out and about today, look for a really cool stick.

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I'm talking like this is going to make a good walking stick.

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This would be my wizard's cane.

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This stick kind of looks like a shotgun.

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Whatever you want, find a cool stick.

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Share it with me if you want or just cherish it forever, but find a cool stick today.

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All right, lightning round.

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The Steam Awards, which are a community voted superlative award on the Steam gaming platform,

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that came out and the results are pretty hilarious.

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For example, Starfield won most innovative game play.

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Remember those tiny magnetic balls that like are like putty, but they're like magnet balls?

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Yeah, they're banned again or are being recalled again, again.

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A line of these magnetic balls sold on Walmart's website have been recalled after like thousands of people

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have died or gotten injured from ingesting them.

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Don't eat magnetic balls because when you do it makes it harder for me to acquire them

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and I like them because I like the clicky clacky.

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It makes my brain happy.

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Shia LaBeouf has indicated that he may want to become a deacon in the Catholic Church.

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So there's promising ongoing research into using psychedelics to treat PTSD in soldiers.

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Looking pretty good, even if it's early.

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That massive 23andMe hack continues to be hilarious as they are now officially taking the stance of

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this is your fault.

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23andMe put out a statement saying basically y'all your passwords were too shitty.

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And so it's your fault that you got hacked.

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Reminder your accountant did not need to be actively compromised for your data to be compromised.

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Tesla has to recall another 1.6 million vehicles this time in China for a software issue regarding steering.

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Microsoft has announced that keyboards on Windows computers will now have a dedicated AI button.

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Literally zero people have asked for this.

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We have our first Cybertruck crash.

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Here's the stats.

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The Cybertruck crashed into a non-Cybertruck.

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The non-Cybertruck car was demolished.

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The Cybertruck was beaten up but largely unharmed.

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The only person hurt in the crash was the driver of the Cybertruck.

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Thank God their fleshy body could absorb the impact for their car.

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Jack Black will be playing as the main character in the Minecraft movie.

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I am happy.

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And finally after 10 successful years, YouTuber Tom Scott has announced that he will be stopping production

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of his YouTube series in which he is in a place.

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Thank you so much for listening to today's episode of Stuff Keeps Happening.

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Head to StuffKeepSappening.online for sources, bonus content, and a plus one battleaxe of...

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bubble baths.

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My name is Endeavorance. I'll be back on Thursday.

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Take care and be well.