Hello.
According to the calendar, it's 2024.
But stuff still happens.
So what's up?
In this moment, I am a smug boy because I do not use Substack for my newsletter.
Substack is a popular paid newsletter hosting service, and they're currently getting some flak
because of the Nazis they're hosting.
See, people who are hosting newsletters on Substack are like, hey, Substack, so we're noticing that there's some Nazi newsletters here,
and you profit off of the newsletters that are sold here.
What's going on there?
To which Substack said, oh, oh, dang, you know, we know that they're there.
It's a real shame that that's happening, huh?
And so then again, publishers on Substack were like, okay, cool, well, you're aware of it.
So maybe get rid of it.
Yeah?
No, no, I don't think so.
See, Substack wants to position themselves as some sort of agnostic infrastructure service,
and it's regrettable that their infrastructure is being used by Nazis to spread hatred,
but it would be uncouth to take them off of the platform.
It is critically important that we give safe harbor to people to spread hate and vitriol.
They're taking the usual tech bro, mafris peach approach.
It doesn't matter.
They're profiting off of hate speech, and they know it.
And so we're already seeing some publications move off of Substack because of this and to another service.
I personally use a thing called Ghost to host the Stuff Keeps Happening newsletter.
Ghost is open source and doesn't take a cut of each sale.
Like that's not their business model.
And so already by switching, you can just get past the whole Substack taking 10% of your profits thing
and the whole Substack also profiting off of Nazis, who you're sharing a website with thing.
Let me tell you, when I say that airplanes aren't supposed to have giant gaping holes in them,
I'm being serious.
I'm a serious boy.
I've never been unserious in my life ever.
All right, you've probably already heard about this,
but Alaska Airlines had to have an emergency landing recently after one of their planes had a door just blow off the airplane mid-flight.
Kind of a door. It's called a plug door.
It's like an optional door.
It's like a maintenance thing.
When they build the plane, they put in things that can be taken out to modify the plane.
This was one of those things that could optionally be removed.
That's not supposed to happen accidentally though.
But an Alaska Airline flight took off from Portland, Oregon,
and before they were even able to reach cruising altitude, one of these plug doors just kind of blew off the cabin.
Miraculously, nobody was sitting in the seats next to where the thing blew off.
They probably would have just gotten sucked out of the airplane.
Reportedly, anybody who was holding a phone, no longer was holding a phone after the hole opened up.
And the airplane depressurized, all the masks dropped, and it was a whole ass emergency.
Astonishingly, nobody was made dead, and that's really good.
I don't think that the people who were on the plane are doing particularly well right now.
I would assume they're having some trouble.
I would hope for a class action lawsuit, and I would hope for the free mental health care, because holy God.
Since this event, the FAA has grounded over a hundred of the same model of airplanes that this plane was, which is the 737 MAX.
You may recall the Boeing 737 MAX previously had a couple of planes just decide to crash themselves,
because they're garbage, because Boeing has made the very conscious business decision
to compromise the safety of their aircraft to maximize profits, which is, and I say this unironically, a winning business strategy.
A 13-year-old has beaten Tetris for the first time in human history after playing it for two years.
Not the same game he was practicing it for two years.
So you might be wondering, how the hell do you beat Tetris?
Well, you don't, but you can crash the game by getting to a very specific game state by playing it a very specific way.
And often this is referred to as a kill screen.
You basically like got to the end of the game being able to run itself, functionally you have won.
Now, this has been a theoretical thing in Tetris for a long time, and up until this moment, only computers had ever actually done it.
They were programmed to do it, or an AI did it, but now a 13-year-old did it.
Willis Gibson watched a couple of YouTube videos about Tetris and was like, yo, this is pretty cool.
I can get into this. And they got into it, and they got into it.
Two years later, new world record. Notably, like just a couple of weeks later, somebody else did it as well.
I don't know what these in the water, but suddenly we're really good at Tetris.
Anyway, when I was 13, I was doing things.
I was doing less headline worthy things.
All right, the Epstein list is out. Let's talk about it and let's just get past it.
Okay, here we go. First of all, you're probably tired of hearing about it.
Second of all, it's not a list. It's a bunch of documents, like hundreds and hundreds of pages of court documents,
not just like an index of all the pedophiles.
A name appearing among these documents does not necessarily mean that they are guilty.
It just means that their name came up probably in a transcript at some point.
They could have said literally anything in the courtroom and it would be in these documents.
That said, of course, it does also give us some pretty excruciating details about some of the stuff that went down,
and I'm not going to get into it because it is deeply disturbing.
I have links to the full documents in my newsletter if you want to go read it for yourself,
but largely, stay away from Prince Andrew.
There's also a lot of mention of the Clintons.
Trump has mentioned a few times, but like again, like not necessarily in the context of,
yes, he did the pedophile.
Interestingly, Stephen Hawking, the late physicist, is also implicated,
but he's also been previously implicated. He was previously photographed on Epstein's Island.
Anyway, I have some advice for you.
Just listen for a second.
Don't prey on children.
It doesn't seem like a particularly hard ask.
I have managed to not prey on children my whole life.
It's exceedingly easy.
You just don't do that.
Simple.
Here's a challenge.
If you are out and about today, look for a really cool stick.
I'm talking like this is going to make a good walking stick.
This would be my wizard's cane.
This stick kind of looks like a shotgun.
Whatever you want, find a cool stick.
Share it with me if you want or just cherish it forever, but find a cool stick today.
All right, lightning round.
The Steam Awards, which are a community voted superlative award on the Steam gaming platform,
that came out and the results are pretty hilarious.
For example, Starfield won most innovative game play.
Remember those tiny magnetic balls that like are like putty, but they're like magnet balls?
Yeah, they're banned again or are being recalled again, again.
A line of these magnetic balls sold on Walmart's website have been recalled after like thousands of people
have died or gotten injured from ingesting them.
Don't eat magnetic balls because when you do it makes it harder for me to acquire them
and I like them because I like the clicky clacky.
It makes my brain happy.
Shia LaBeouf has indicated that he may want to become a deacon in the Catholic Church.
So there's promising ongoing research into using psychedelics to treat PTSD in soldiers.
Looking pretty good, even if it's early.
That massive 23andMe hack continues to be hilarious as they are now officially taking the stance of
this is your fault.
23andMe put out a statement saying basically y'all your passwords were too shitty.
And so it's your fault that you got hacked.
Reminder your accountant did not need to be actively compromised for your data to be compromised.
Tesla has to recall another 1.6 million vehicles this time in China for a software issue regarding steering.
Microsoft has announced that keyboards on Windows computers will now have a dedicated AI button.
Literally zero people have asked for this.
We have our first Cybertruck crash.
Here's the stats.
The Cybertruck crashed into a non-Cybertruck.
The non-Cybertruck car was demolished.
The Cybertruck was beaten up but largely unharmed.
The only person hurt in the crash was the driver of the Cybertruck.
Thank God their fleshy body could absorb the impact for their car.
Jack Black will be playing as the main character in the Minecraft movie.
I am happy.
And finally after 10 successful years, YouTuber Tom Scott has announced that he will be stopping production
of his YouTube series in which he is in a place.
Thank you so much for listening to today's episode of Stuff Keeps Happening.
Head to StuffKeepSappening.online for sources, bonus content, and a plus one battleaxe of...
bubble baths.
My name is Endeavorance. I'll be back on Thursday.
Take care and be well.