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Hello.

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I produced this whole show for you.

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Because stuff has happened.

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So what's up? There it is!

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Paid Twitter.

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We knew this was coming and they're trying to make it not appear like a big deal, but it's...

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We know what they're doing.

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Twitter will begin testing their new Not A Bot feature in the Philippines and New Zealand.

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This feature requires you to verify your phone number and pay an annual subscription fee in order to use Twitter.

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Without giving them your phone number and credit card information, you can read tweets, but you can't post anything.

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The subscription is currently priced at $1 a year, in theory making it just a verification that you can provide a credit card.

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Which famously stops bad actors.

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They don't have money.

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Or any stolen credit cards whatsoever.

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But fear not, because Ol' Musky says this is gonna help fight bots on the platform.

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Again.

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Never mind all the other things that were supposed to help fight bots on the platform.

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This one's gonna do it.

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Just give me your phone number and credit card information.

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To use Twitter.

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It's gonna be a good idea.

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I would like to remind you that there was a time on the internet where you didn't have to constantly prove your identity and use your real name everywhere just to be able to, you know, use services.

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I know it's weird, but you used to be able to just like make an account somewhere and...

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Use the internet.

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Somehow things didn't just absolutely implode, but it was notably harder to track you and constantly sell ads to you.

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I also find it frankly insulting that they're like, nah, this is just a subscription to help fight against bots and it's only a dollar.

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Don't ask questions. Just start paying for Twitter. Let's normalize it.

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Anyway.

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Jimothy ain't it.

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Uh...

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In the US House of Representatives.

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Nailed it.

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US Republican Representative Jim Jordan of Ohio made a play for Speaker of the House yesterday, forcing a vote before he actually had all of the votes in hand.

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Jordan is a founding member of the Freedom Caucus, the very far right group within the Republican Party, which is a very far right group.

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The Freedom Caucus is who booted the existing Speaker of the House, and now they're putting forth their own guy.

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And they're basically saying, we'll continue to tank any efforts unless you put our guy up front.

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This does not sit well with some holdouts in the Republican Party, and 20 of them yesterday did not vote for Jordan, which didn't give him enough votes to win.

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He can only afford to lose three votes from his own party.

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So he's got a bit of a ways to go.

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This is far from over. He can continue to call votes forever, basically, until he eventually wins.

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Oh, and also for some reason, Sean Hannity and other Fox News personalities are getting involved with representatives trying to convince them to vote for Jim Jordan.

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You know, that very normal thing that should be going on for our representatives, who are supposed to represent people.

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I guess one could make an argument that Sean Hannity is people.

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That'd be a long shot argument.

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Well, the CIA fucked up, and also Twitter fucked up.

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They kind of both fucked up.

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So on Twitter, if you have a URL in your profile and it's too long, it might get truncated.

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They'll like cut off the last few letters and just put a dot dot dot there or something.

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Well, the CIA's Twitter profile, which is a gross sequence of words, has a link in their profile that goes out to a Telegram channel to securely give them information if you want to be an informant.

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That link got shortened by Twitter.

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And so while the link is supposed to be T.me slash securely contacting CIA, it is instead shortened to T.me slash Shirley Contt.

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A security researcher noticed this and got that URL pointing to their own Telegram channel.

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So if someone didn't actually click the link, but instead like copied and pasted it or saved it for later, they would have a URL that took them to a Telegram channel that was not actually the CIA.

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Don't you love it when a major intelligence agency uses a URL on a privately held platform to point to a different privately held platform to give them information?

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That's how all of this should work.

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What a real country. What a real Internet.

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I have an unfortunately horrifying update to share about the situation in Gaza, a hospital in Gaza that was packed to the brim with people who were trying to recover from the ongoing attacks on the strip has been bombed.

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More than 500 people have been killed and it is just an absolutely devastating scene.

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Israel claims that the bombing happened from a misfire from militants in Gaza.

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Palestinian officials claim that it was Israel who bombed the hospital, to which Israel says, nah.

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Basically, every international power has just reaffirmed their existing stance on who they side with and blaming the other side.

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There's also a lot of outcry talking about how Biden hasn't been doing enough to further peace talks in the region.

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And so it's his fault. There's both Russia saying that and also Republicans and some Democrats are saying that in the U.S.

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Biden will be heading to Israel to reaffirm his support for the state.

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And he was originally going to be meeting with leaders of Jordan as well.

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But that meeting has been canceled because they basically said there's there's no resolving this with a talk with Biden right now.

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The U.S.'s stance on the hospital bombing is that it seems like it wasn't Israel.

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But that's about as far as they've gone. They said that they'll need some clarifications.

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Cool, guys.

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Meanwhile, the U.N. is saying stop hurting citizens and stop issuing evacuation orders that are impossible to follow.

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Stop it. That'll fix it.

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On this day in 1867, the United States formalized their purchase of Alaska from Russia.

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They purchased the big old swath of land that looks like a dude kind of like doing a kick for seven point two million dollars,

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which in today's money is about one hundred and fifty one million.

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This day is now observed as Alaska Day in the state.

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However, native Alaskans are not happy about that.

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They've made it clear that Alaska was never Russia's to sell to begin with.

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And so the U.S. shouldn't have been able to buy it to begin with.

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There's been an ongoing push that's been gaining steam over time to replace Alaska Day with Reconciliation Day.

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Lightning round.

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YouTube is rolling out a whole bunch of updates across all of their apps,

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and they're also rolling out new measures to try and prevent you from using ad blockers.

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Reddit is winding down their crypto based community points system because lol crypto.

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SpaceX is currently in talks with Israel about deploying Starlink internet access into the conflict area.

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Apple has rolled out a new Apple Pencil.

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It's the Apple Pencil USB-C, which is confusing because there's the Apple Pencil 1, the Apple Pencil 2, and the Apple Pencil USB-C.

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Well done, guys.

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LinkedIn will be laying off about 700 employees in a joke that is too easy, and I'm going to go ahead and pass on it.

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Speaking of layoffs, Bandcamp has laid off about half of their employees as the sale from Epic to Song Trader has finalized.

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The Bandcamp union is not happy about this and is going back to Epic for a bargain.

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And finally for today, the record for the world's hottest pepper has been broken with a new pepper called Pepper X.

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It is reportedly three times as spicy as the Carolina Reaper, and it's like made by the same people who made the Carolina Reaper.

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They also apparently made it like 10 years ago and just kind of sat on it, and they're like, eh, we'll reveal it eventually.

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A quick update from me, it must be a day that ends in Y because I am updating my streaming schedule once again.

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I'm going to be streaming on Mondays, Wednesdays, and Thursdays.

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For exact times, take a look at my social profiles.

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I'll be posting the schedule later today.

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Thank you so much for listening to today's episode of Stuff Keeps Happening.

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Head to StuffKeepsHappening.online for sources, bonus content, and a long ramble about my family's history before actually getting to the recipe that you're looking for in the first place.

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My name is Endeavorance. I'll be back on Friday.

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Take care and be well.