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Hello.

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I had myself a balanced breakfast.

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But stuff still happens.

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So what's up?

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You may be cool, but you are not a 104-year-old skydiver cool.

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Dorothy Hoffner has broken the world record for oldest person to skydive at age 104.

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This is not Hoffner's first time doing a triple-digit age skydive,

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having previously dived at the young age of 100.

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Reportedly, the first time that she went skydiving, she was a bit hesitant to jump,

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but this time she did a perfect forward roll out of the plane into a freefall.

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I mean, she was with an instructor, to be clear.

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But still, that's incredible.

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I've been skydiving.

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Shit's hella wild.

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I can't imagine going skydiving at 104.

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Hoffner turns 105 in December, and her next plan is to go up in a hot air balloon.

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If you are a congressperson in Washington, D.C., fuck you, and also watch out for your car.

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A congressman from Texas in Washington, D.C. had their car stolen from three armed individuals.

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The car was since recovered, but no arrests have been made.

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Carjackings are steeply on the rise in D.C. over the past few years, and nothing has really happened.

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Maybe now that there was an important person who had their car stolen, something will happen? Maybe?

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The cops say they're investigating it.

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But that's what they've said about all the other carjackings.

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So I don't know about that one.

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This happened a couple years ago as well to another congressperson who was also carjacked at gunpoint.

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Very normal stuff.

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To be clear, Washington, D.C. is not a crime-ridden dystopia.

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There's just a lot of carjackings happening comparatively.

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Do not believe portrayals of big cities being dystopian wastelands.

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That's just not how it is.

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And there's just this weird thing where when there's a lot of people sort of in one area, crime happens there sometimes.

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And also movements happen there.

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There's a lot of people anywhere.

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Space. The final frontier of pollution.

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The FCC is handing out its first ever space pollution fine to the DISH Network.

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Old DISHy is going to have to pay up $150,000 for a satellite they shot up into space and then never deorbited.

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They were supposed to take it out of orbit a couple years ago, and instead they were like,

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oh, we'll just like put it in a different orbit and sweep it under, you know, the space rug.

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But wouldn't you know it, as more and more companies are launching garbage into space,

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we probably need regulation around that so that we can still, you know,

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see the night sky in the future and not risk having satellites smashing into each other

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and coming crumbling down towards Earth, making a threat for all of us.

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You know, so yeah, space pollution fines.

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That's where we are.

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Like, look, there's a lot of space stuff happening that's really, really cool right now.

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And there's also space fines happening.

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Companies gonna company.

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So the richest man in the world is now being sued by a family after using his own social media network

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to spread conspiracy theories that resulted in them having to vacate their own home and avoid death threats.

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Elon Musk is being sued by 22-year-old Ben Brody after Musk stoked conspiracy theories from far-right extremists

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claiming that Brody was a fed posing as a neo-Nazi in footage of a fight with a neo-Nazi.

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A very convenient way for the far-right to ignore the fact that Nazis are aligned with them

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is to claim that the Nazis are feds.

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And so that's what they did.

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To a Jewish family, of course.

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Notably, Brody was not in the state at time of recording where the footage happened.

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But in said footage, a neo-Nazi had their mask removed and the internet swarmed trying to find them.

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And they thought it was Brody.

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Musk routinely interacted with those posts, amplifying and legitimizing them

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and pushing them even further on his own platform.

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And again, Brody and his family had to flee their home.

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Just absolute randoms who had literally nothing to do with anything.

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The lawyer that Brody is working with has already previously won a case against another right-wing influencer

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Alex Jones.

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So hopefully we'll get another big dub against the old Musk, but we'll see about that.

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Also, slightly unrelated but also slightly related,

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Elon's ex Grimes is also suing him claiming that he won't let her see their son.

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It's almost like Elon Musk is a walking mountain of shit.

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Weird how that's still true.

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Speaking of satellites, on this day in 1957,

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humanity launched their first low orbit satellite into space.

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The Soviet Union launched Sputnik 1 up into space,

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where it orbited for a handful of months before eventually burning up in the atmosphere.

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During its approximately three-week battery life,

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it sent pings back to Earth that were kind of haunting, but pretty rad.

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The success of the mission was a huge shock to the US and kind of kicked off the whole, you know, space race.

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Oh, whoops, the people that we keep claiming are incompetent put a thing in space before we did.

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Yikes-a-rowny.

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That's me being the United States.

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Lightning round, Kevin McCarthy has been ousted as Speaker of the House in the lower chamber of the United States Congress.

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He has already said he is not going to run for reelection for his own position.

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So now we don't we don't really know what's happening now.

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Metta is requiring their employees to return to office at least three days a week,

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and employees are saying, what the hell, this is a waste of time and there's not even enough room for all of us.

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But if they don't go into the office, they might get fired.

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This is a reminder that during the pandemic when everybody was working from home,

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we essentially proved that we don't really need offices for many industries.

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But a lot of corporate media outlets are working overtime to publish op-eds telling you about how that's not true.

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TikTok is apparently testing a subscription based ad free version of the app in non-US markets.

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AI generated commercials featuring people like Tom Hanks and Mr. Beast are starting to go around social media.

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Tom Hanks and Mr. Beast have both said, hey, what the fuck?

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And finally for today, a Final Fantasy 14 online player has accomplished every single achievement in the game after a near decade long grind.

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That's legit righteous. I envy your dedication, dear player.

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Thank you so much for listening to today's episode of Stuff Keeps Happening.

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Head to StuffKeepsHappening.online for sources, bonus content, and a gallon-sized Ziploc bag full of marbles.

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My name is Endeavorance. I'll be back on Friday. Take care and be well.