Hello.
I had myself a balanced breakfast.
But stuff still happens.
So what's up?
You may be cool, but you are not a 104-year-old skydiver cool.
Dorothy Hoffner has broken the world record for oldest person to skydive at age 104.
This is not Hoffner's first time doing a triple-digit age skydive,
having previously dived at the young age of 100.
Reportedly, the first time that she went skydiving, she was a bit hesitant to jump,
but this time she did a perfect forward roll out of the plane into a freefall.
I mean, she was with an instructor, to be clear.
But still, that's incredible.
I've been skydiving.
Shit's hella wild.
I can't imagine going skydiving at 104.
Hoffner turns 105 in December, and her next plan is to go up in a hot air balloon.
If you are a congressperson in Washington, D.C., fuck you, and also watch out for your car.
A congressman from Texas in Washington, D.C. had their car stolen from three armed individuals.
The car was since recovered, but no arrests have been made.
Carjackings are steeply on the rise in D.C. over the past few years, and nothing has really happened.
Maybe now that there was an important person who had their car stolen, something will happen? Maybe?
The cops say they're investigating it.
But that's what they've said about all the other carjackings.
So I don't know about that one.
This happened a couple years ago as well to another congressperson who was also carjacked at gunpoint.
Very normal stuff.
To be clear, Washington, D.C. is not a crime-ridden dystopia.
There's just a lot of carjackings happening comparatively.
Do not believe portrayals of big cities being dystopian wastelands.
That's just not how it is.
And there's just this weird thing where when there's a lot of people sort of in one area, crime happens there sometimes.
And also movements happen there.
There's a lot of people anywhere.
Space. The final frontier of pollution.
The FCC is handing out its first ever space pollution fine to the DISH Network.
Old DISHy is going to have to pay up $150,000 for a satellite they shot up into space and then never deorbited.
They were supposed to take it out of orbit a couple years ago, and instead they were like,
oh, we'll just like put it in a different orbit and sweep it under, you know, the space rug.
But wouldn't you know it, as more and more companies are launching garbage into space,
we probably need regulation around that so that we can still, you know,
see the night sky in the future and not risk having satellites smashing into each other
and coming crumbling down towards Earth, making a threat for all of us.
You know, so yeah, space pollution fines.
That's where we are.
Like, look, there's a lot of space stuff happening that's really, really cool right now.
And there's also space fines happening.
Companies gonna company.
So the richest man in the world is now being sued by a family after using his own social media network
to spread conspiracy theories that resulted in them having to vacate their own home and avoid death threats.
Elon Musk is being sued by 22-year-old Ben Brody after Musk stoked conspiracy theories from far-right extremists
claiming that Brody was a fed posing as a neo-Nazi in footage of a fight with a neo-Nazi.
A very convenient way for the far-right to ignore the fact that Nazis are aligned with them
is to claim that the Nazis are feds.
And so that's what they did.
To a Jewish family, of course.
Notably, Brody was not in the state at time of recording where the footage happened.
But in said footage, a neo-Nazi had their mask removed and the internet swarmed trying to find them.
And they thought it was Brody.
Musk routinely interacted with those posts, amplifying and legitimizing them
and pushing them even further on his own platform.
And again, Brody and his family had to flee their home.
Just absolute randoms who had literally nothing to do with anything.
The lawyer that Brody is working with has already previously won a case against another right-wing influencer
Alex Jones.
So hopefully we'll get another big dub against the old Musk, but we'll see about that.
Also, slightly unrelated but also slightly related,
Elon's ex Grimes is also suing him claiming that he won't let her see their son.
It's almost like Elon Musk is a walking mountain of shit.
Weird how that's still true.
Speaking of satellites, on this day in 1957,
humanity launched their first low orbit satellite into space.
The Soviet Union launched Sputnik 1 up into space,
where it orbited for a handful of months before eventually burning up in the atmosphere.
During its approximately three-week battery life,
it sent pings back to Earth that were kind of haunting, but pretty rad.
The success of the mission was a huge shock to the US and kind of kicked off the whole, you know, space race.
Oh, whoops, the people that we keep claiming are incompetent put a thing in space before we did.
Yikes-a-rowny.
That's me being the United States.
Lightning round, Kevin McCarthy has been ousted as Speaker of the House in the lower chamber of the United States Congress.
He has already said he is not going to run for reelection for his own position.
So now we don't we don't really know what's happening now.
Metta is requiring their employees to return to office at least three days a week,
and employees are saying, what the hell, this is a waste of time and there's not even enough room for all of us.
But if they don't go into the office, they might get fired.
This is a reminder that during the pandemic when everybody was working from home,
we essentially proved that we don't really need offices for many industries.
But a lot of corporate media outlets are working overtime to publish op-eds telling you about how that's not true.
TikTok is apparently testing a subscription based ad free version of the app in non-US markets.
AI generated commercials featuring people like Tom Hanks and Mr. Beast are starting to go around social media.
Tom Hanks and Mr. Beast have both said, hey, what the fuck?
And finally for today, a Final Fantasy 14 online player has accomplished every single achievement in the game after a near decade long grind.
That's legit righteous. I envy your dedication, dear player.
Thank you so much for listening to today's episode of Stuff Keeps Happening.
Head to StuffKeepsHappening.online for sources, bonus content, and a gallon-sized Ziploc bag full of marbles.
My name is Endeavorance. I'll be back on Friday. Take care and be well.