Hello. I rolled a 20 from my deck save, but stuff still happened.
So what's up? Do not fear. Biscuit is safe. I'm going to assume you know what I'm talking about.
But for those who don't, Biscuit is a big old tortoise. Specifically, Biscuit is a 100-year-old
African tortoise who accidentally escaped from his owner's home in Louisiana. The wind blew the gate
open on the fence and Biscuit got loose. Then he got stuck in a drainage ditch and people saw him
and they were like, oh no, that tortoise is in distress. So they called animal control who came
out and safely picked up the good old tortoise and brought him back to an animal shelter. They put
out a call saying, hey, did anyone lose a 100-year-old tortoise? And just a few hours later,
the owner showed up. Reportedly, it took quite some time for Biscuit to make his way from the
door of the animal shelter to the door of his human's car. There are very few things in this
life that I know for sure, dear viewer. And one of those things is we love Biscuit. Fuck Elon Musk,
though. Sorry, I know we just came off Biscuit and now I got to talk about this dork. But Elon Musk
reportedly cut off Starlink access to thwart a Ukrainian strike on Russian naval ships. You know,
just that one dude using his global communications network to interfere with geopolitical conflict.
That normal thing that people should be able to do. This is according to excerpts from an upcoming
biography about Musk. Apparently, he was concerned about escalations to nuclear war.
And so he took it upon himself to interfere with Ukraine's strike. Ukrainian officials say that
because of that interference on that strike, Russian ships were able to make strikes against
Ukrainian coastal cities along the Black Sea. Starting to think that this Musk guy is not
particularly chill. Stop for just a moment and answer me this. If you had to cross the Atlantic
by yourself, how would you do it? Did you answer floating hamster wheel? Neither did I. But a guy
from Florida strapped together some sort of floating hamster wheel like device and got inside
of it and started to just kind of run his way across the Atlantic. Or at least he kind of did
that. This is apparently like the third time he's tried this. And the Coast Guard caught up to him
and they were like, hey, bro, stop. According to the Coast Guard's interpretation of what he did,
they referred to it as manifestly unsafe. Apparently, when they tried to pick him up,
he claimed that he had a bomb. I assume that was to try to thwart their efforts to stop him,
but that he didn't have a bomb. He just had a rickety flotation device and a pocket full of
dreams. So the United Auto Workers strike is looking pretty likely. If you have not yet heard,
the United Auto Workers in America have already decided to go on strike starting on September
14th if they can't reach a deal with their employers. Among the demands from the auto workers
are a significant pay raise to the tune of like 46% over the course of several years, mind you.
And they also are looking for a four day work week, among other things. Auto workers getting
a four day work week would be fucking huge. So please. But that eye watering 46% raise is
mostly to make up for the lack of raises that they've had. While the CEOs of the big three auto
makers have been getting tons and tons of raises every year and making way more money than before,
workers have actually had a decrease. Here is president of the UAW, Sean Fain, quote,
We went to Ford and proposed a double digit wage increase, just like the big three CEOs have received
over the last four years. We also have a lot to make up for an inflation adjusted dollars are
starting pay today is $10 an hour less than what it was in 2007. Ford has come back and offered it
to raise wages 9% over the course of the contract and a one time 15% raise. And they call that
generous. On this day in 1504, Michelangelo's statue of David was unveiled to the public for
the first time. The statue was so large, so heavy that it reportedly took 40 men half of a week to
move it a quarter mile. Heave ho lightning round. The US Department of Agriculture has announced a
recall of about 250,000 pounds of chickie tendies. So if you've got banquet brand chicken tenders
somewhere in your freezer, I recommend you go check to see if that's okay. Instagram threads
now has a search function. Wow. Jimmy Fallon has reportedly made the tonight show a toxic work
environment. I saw that he apologized to staff. I don't know what else to say about that story.
A US judge has ordered the removal of the floating barriers that Texas officials put
in the Rio Grande to stop migrants because they are quite deadly. The special counsel looking into
the Hunter Biden stuff is expected to indict Hunter Biden at some point coming up soon on gun charges.
Speaking of legal stuff, former Proud Boys head Enrique Tario has been sentenced to 22 years in
prison for his role in January six. He was essentially the kingpin. He was essentially
he's the head of the Proud Boys or he was COVID transmissions, hospitalizations, deaths and
wastewater presence are all trending upwards. So don't die on me. The Nintendo Switch 2 rumors
are continuing as Nintendo has reportedly shown the Switch 2 to game developers behind closed doors
at Gamescom and also showed them like a higher res version of Breath of the Wild playing on it.
So I mean, gimme, gimme or just emulate it. And finally for today in niche gaming news,
concerned ape creator of Stardew Valley has shown a new screenshot from his next game,
Haunted Chocolatier. And I'm hype. I'm so hype. Thank you so much for listening to today's episode
of Stuff Keeps Happening. Head to stuffkeepshappening.online for sources, bonus content,
and to show solidarity with Biscuit. My name is Endeavorance. I'll be back on Monday. Take care
and be well.