1 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:05,920 Hello. I rolled a 20 from my deck save, but stuff still happened. 2 00:00:05,920 --> 00:00:12,080 So what's up? Do not fear. Biscuit is safe. I'm going to assume you know what I'm talking about. 3 00:00:12,080 --> 00:00:18,080 But for those who don't, Biscuit is a big old tortoise. Specifically, Biscuit is a 100-year-old 4 00:00:18,080 --> 00:00:23,520 African tortoise who accidentally escaped from his owner's home in Louisiana. The wind blew the gate 5 00:00:23,520 --> 00:00:29,920 open on the fence and Biscuit got loose. Then he got stuck in a drainage ditch and people saw him 6 00:00:29,920 --> 00:00:35,040 and they were like, oh no, that tortoise is in distress. So they called animal control who came 7 00:00:35,040 --> 00:00:39,280 out and safely picked up the good old tortoise and brought him back to an animal shelter. They put 8 00:00:39,280 --> 00:00:44,960 out a call saying, hey, did anyone lose a 100-year-old tortoise? And just a few hours later, 9 00:00:44,960 --> 00:00:49,280 the owner showed up. Reportedly, it took quite some time for Biscuit to make his way from the 10 00:00:49,280 --> 00:00:54,160 door of the animal shelter to the door of his human's car. There are very few things in this 11 00:00:54,160 --> 00:01:00,560 life that I know for sure, dear viewer. And one of those things is we love Biscuit. Fuck Elon Musk, 12 00:01:00,560 --> 00:01:06,720 though. Sorry, I know we just came off Biscuit and now I got to talk about this dork. But Elon Musk 13 00:01:06,720 --> 00:01:12,640 reportedly cut off Starlink access to thwart a Ukrainian strike on Russian naval ships. You know, 14 00:01:12,640 --> 00:01:17,680 just that one dude using his global communications network to interfere with geopolitical conflict. 15 00:01:19,040 --> 00:01:23,040 That normal thing that people should be able to do. This is according to excerpts from an upcoming 16 00:01:23,040 --> 00:01:28,480 biography about Musk. Apparently, he was concerned about escalations to nuclear war. 17 00:01:29,040 --> 00:01:34,240 And so he took it upon himself to interfere with Ukraine's strike. Ukrainian officials say that 18 00:01:34,240 --> 00:01:38,400 because of that interference on that strike, Russian ships were able to make strikes against 19 00:01:38,400 --> 00:01:43,360 Ukrainian coastal cities along the Black Sea. Starting to think that this Musk guy is not 20 00:01:43,360 --> 00:01:49,120 particularly chill. Stop for just a moment and answer me this. If you had to cross the Atlantic 21 00:01:49,120 --> 00:01:55,280 by yourself, how would you do it? Did you answer floating hamster wheel? Neither did I. But a guy 22 00:01:55,280 --> 00:02:00,560 from Florida strapped together some sort of floating hamster wheel like device and got inside 23 00:02:00,560 --> 00:02:04,880 of it and started to just kind of run his way across the Atlantic. Or at least he kind of did 24 00:02:04,880 --> 00:02:08,720 that. This is apparently like the third time he's tried this. And the Coast Guard caught up to him 25 00:02:08,720 --> 00:02:14,400 and they were like, hey, bro, stop. According to the Coast Guard's interpretation of what he did, 26 00:02:14,400 --> 00:02:20,000 they referred to it as manifestly unsafe. Apparently, when they tried to pick him up, 27 00:02:20,000 --> 00:02:25,120 he claimed that he had a bomb. I assume that was to try to thwart their efforts to stop him, 28 00:02:25,120 --> 00:02:30,400 but that he didn't have a bomb. He just had a rickety flotation device and a pocket full of 29 00:02:30,400 --> 00:02:35,440 dreams. So the United Auto Workers strike is looking pretty likely. If you have not yet heard, 30 00:02:35,440 --> 00:02:39,920 the United Auto Workers in America have already decided to go on strike starting on September 31 00:02:39,920 --> 00:02:44,560 14th if they can't reach a deal with their employers. Among the demands from the auto workers 32 00:02:44,560 --> 00:02:50,240 are a significant pay raise to the tune of like 46% over the course of several years, mind you. 33 00:02:50,240 --> 00:02:54,240 And they also are looking for a four day work week, among other things. Auto workers getting 34 00:02:54,240 --> 00:02:59,840 a four day work week would be fucking huge. So please. But that eye watering 46% raise is 35 00:02:59,840 --> 00:03:04,560 mostly to make up for the lack of raises that they've had. While the CEOs of the big three auto 36 00:03:04,560 --> 00:03:09,520 makers have been getting tons and tons of raises every year and making way more money than before, 37 00:03:09,520 --> 00:03:14,720 workers have actually had a decrease. Here is president of the UAW, Sean Fain, quote, 38 00:03:14,720 --> 00:03:20,240 We went to Ford and proposed a double digit wage increase, just like the big three CEOs have received 39 00:03:20,240 --> 00:03:26,560 over the last four years. We also have a lot to make up for an inflation adjusted dollars are 40 00:03:26,560 --> 00:03:33,840 starting pay today is $10 an hour less than what it was in 2007. Ford has come back and offered it 41 00:03:33,840 --> 00:03:40,720 to raise wages 9% over the course of the contract and a one time 15% raise. And they call that 42 00:03:40,720 --> 00:03:47,280 generous. On this day in 1504, Michelangelo's statue of David was unveiled to the public for 43 00:03:47,280 --> 00:03:53,760 the first time. The statue was so large, so heavy that it reportedly took 40 men half of a week to 44 00:03:53,760 --> 00:04:00,240 move it a quarter mile. Heave ho lightning round. The US Department of Agriculture has announced a 45 00:04:00,240 --> 00:04:06,640 recall of about 250,000 pounds of chickie tendies. So if you've got banquet brand chicken tenders 46 00:04:06,640 --> 00:04:11,600 somewhere in your freezer, I recommend you go check to see if that's okay. Instagram threads 47 00:04:11,600 --> 00:04:17,280 now has a search function. Wow. Jimmy Fallon has reportedly made the tonight show a toxic work 48 00:04:17,280 --> 00:04:23,520 environment. I saw that he apologized to staff. I don't know what else to say about that story. 49 00:04:23,520 --> 00:04:28,320 A US judge has ordered the removal of the floating barriers that Texas officials put 50 00:04:28,320 --> 00:04:33,520 in the Rio Grande to stop migrants because they are quite deadly. The special counsel looking into 51 00:04:33,520 --> 00:04:39,040 the Hunter Biden stuff is expected to indict Hunter Biden at some point coming up soon on gun charges. 52 00:04:39,040 --> 00:04:46,000 Speaking of legal stuff, former Proud Boys head Enrique Tario has been sentenced to 22 years in 53 00:04:46,000 --> 00:04:50,480 prison for his role in January six. He was essentially the kingpin. He was essentially 54 00:04:51,440 --> 00:04:56,800 he's the head of the Proud Boys or he was COVID transmissions, hospitalizations, deaths and 55 00:04:56,800 --> 00:05:03,840 wastewater presence are all trending upwards. So don't die on me. The Nintendo Switch 2 rumors 56 00:05:03,840 --> 00:05:09,120 are continuing as Nintendo has reportedly shown the Switch 2 to game developers behind closed doors 57 00:05:09,120 --> 00:05:13,920 at Gamescom and also showed them like a higher res version of Breath of the Wild playing on it. 58 00:05:13,920 --> 00:05:19,280 So I mean, gimme, gimme or just emulate it. And finally for today in niche gaming news, 59 00:05:19,280 --> 00:05:23,760 concerned ape creator of Stardew Valley has shown a new screenshot from his next game, 60 00:05:23,760 --> 00:05:28,880 Haunted Chocolatier. And I'm hype. I'm so hype. Thank you so much for listening to today's episode 61 00:05:28,880 --> 00:05:33,360 of Stuff Keeps Happening. Head to stuffkeepshappening.online for sources, bonus content, 62 00:05:34,000 --> 00:05:41,200 and to show solidarity with Biscuit. My name is Endeavorance. I'll be back on Monday. Take care 63 00:05:41,200 --> 00:05:54,480 and be well.