WEBVTT 00:00:00.240 --> 00:00:03.805 Baba Lysaga: Welcome back to Kill Them all, the 00:00:03.829 --> 00:00:08.016 podcast about world domination. I'm Baba Lysaga, the 00:00:08.040 --> 00:00:11.642 Witch of Borovia, here to interview a couple of 00:00:11.666 --> 00:00:15.817 lady villains. This week we are sponsored by Myconid 00:00:15.841 --> 00:00:19.479 Hallucinogens. Need a boost to your creativity? 00:00:19.503 --> 00:00:23.617 Want to look at your lair with a fresh perspective? 00:00:23.641 --> 00:00:27.206 Just bored? Try some special mushrooms from the 00:00:27.230 --> 00:00:31.418 Myconids. You'll see amazing things you've never seen 00:00:31.442 --> 00:00:35.357 before. As part of my my spiritual practice, I gave 00:00:35.381 --> 00:00:39.218 this a shot. It unblocked several of my chakras, 00:00:39.242 --> 00:00:43.196 allowing my energy to flow more freely. Side effects 00:00:43.220 --> 00:00:47.018 may include talking about energy flow as if it's a 00:00:47.042 --> 00:00:50.726 real thing. Listeners, I don't have any siblings, 00:00:50.750 --> 00:00:54.819 but today we thought we interview two sisters at the 00:00:54.843 --> 00:00:58.837 same time. They are twins and their bond is obvious. 00:00:58.861 --> 00:01:02.619 Please welcome Nilafny and Zerera, the Harpies. 00:01:04.519 --> 00:01:06.200 Nelaphine: Hi, I'm Nelaphine 00:01:06.840 --> 00:01:09.239 Zerera: And I'm Zerera. Thanks for having us. 00:01:09.640 --> 00:01:12.351 Baba Lysaga: Thanks for coming on. I appreciate 00:01:12.375 --> 00:01:15.028 all the colors in each of your feathers. And 00:01:15.052 --> 00:01:17.733 what bedazzled beaks. Do you mind if I give you 00:01:17.757 --> 00:01:20.439 both another compliment? A slighty saucy one? 00:01:20.680 --> 00:01:21.239 Nelaphine: Go ahead. 00:01:21.640 --> 00:01:24.228 Baba Lysaga: Your breasts are so perfectly saggy. 00:01:24.252 --> 00:01:26.840 How did you get them to look like door knockers? 00:01:27.239 --> 00:01:28.280 Zerera: A lot of flying. 00:01:28.519 --> 00:01:32.120 Nelaphine: We're up in the air most of the time and it seems to help. 00:01:32.359 --> 00:01:36.340 Baba Lysaga: I'm not sure if that's how gravity works. I appreciate the tip. 00:01:36.980 --> 00:01:39.060 Nelaphine: Also, never wearing clothes. 00:01:39.140 --> 00:01:41.620 Baba Lysaga: Ah, that's probably what I've been doing wrong. 00:01:42.180 --> 00:01:45.379 Zerera: We use our nudity to lure sailors to their doom. 00:01:46.019 --> 00:01:50.367 Baba Lysaga: I like having my bits covered when I'm doing alchemy, which 00:01:50.391 --> 00:01:54.739 is most of the time. You don't want endless fire on your nether regions. 00:01:55.379 --> 00:02:00.739 Nelaphine: Try luring people to your hut and eating them. See what happens. 00:02:01.420 --> 00:02:03.088 Baba Lysaga: Well, I could use a break from 00:02:03.112 --> 00:02:05.180 alchemy every now and then. Maybe I could try that. 00:02:05.579 --> 00:02:06.540 Zerera: Go get em. 00:02:07.260 --> 00:02:09.337 Baba Lysaga: So you mentioned sailors. 00:02:09.361 --> 00:02:13.020 Most harpies live up in the cliffs. Whereabouts are you located? 00:02:13.340 --> 00:02:17.088 Nelaphine: We lived together off the coast 00:02:17.112 --> 00:02:20.860 of Chult. We made a nest next to a shipwreck. 00:02:21.819 --> 00:02:25.979 Zerera: We wanted to travel, but there was so much shiny stuff in the shipwreck. 00:02:26.300 --> 00:02:28.300 Baba Lysaga: Was it difficult collecting the treasure? 00:02:28.810 --> 00:02:32.198 Zerera: Our wings got really soggy. Also, the ship was haunted, but 00:02:32.222 --> 00:02:35.610 we just swam around the ghost and we didn't have too many problems. 00:02:36.169 --> 00:02:42.409 Nelaphine: The main issue was how we smelled afterwards. Wet bird smell. 00:02:42.729 --> 00:02:47.129 Zerera: Nellie, don't talk down on yourself like that. We are more than birds. 00:02:47.849 --> 00:02:53.129 Nelaphine: We are majestic sky creatures. I know, I know. 00:02:53.930 --> 00:02:56.889 Baba Lysaga: I'm sensing a common argument here. 00:02:58.020 --> 00:03:02.580 Nelaphine: My sister has a higher opinion of ourselves than I do. 00:03:03.620 --> 00:03:06.938 Zerera: Well, I mean, just look at us. 00:03:06.962 --> 00:03:11.539 Saggy boobs, beautiful voices, long luscious hair. 00:03:11.780 --> 00:03:13.778 Nelaphine: I wish I had your confidence. 00:03:14.340 --> 00:03:16.180 Zerera: It's alright. You don't need it. 00:03:16.500 --> 00:03:18.659 Baba Lysaga: I think you're both gorgeous. 00:03:18.979 --> 00:03:19.860 Nelaphine: You're sweet. 00:03:20.180 --> 00:03:22.817 Baba Lysaga: I'm not being sweet. I'm being genuine. 00:03:22.841 --> 00:03:25.219 Especially you, Nelafine. I love your makeup. 00:03:26.189 --> 00:03:29.310 Nelaphine: It's sailor's blood mixed with coral. 00:03:29.550 --> 00:03:31.150 Baba Lysaga: It stays on real well. 00:03:32.110 --> 00:03:34.669 Nelaphine: Thanks. I came up with the idea. 00:03:35.069 --> 00:03:37.469 Baba Lysaga: You have to show me how to make it sometime. 00:03:38.270 --> 00:03:40.430 Zerera: It's a cinch. We'll show you. 00:03:40.750 --> 00:03:44.830 Baba Lysaga: And the eyeliner is bat dung, I presume. 00:03:45.229 --> 00:03:47.069 Nelaphine: Mixed with sailor's blood. 00:03:47.069 --> 00:03:49.177 Baba Lysaga: You must have a steady supply of sailor's 00:03:49.201 --> 00:03:51.069 blood if you use it in so many different ways. 00:03:52.169 --> 00:03:55.425 Zerera: I mean, they come by often to check out the shipwreck. 00:03:55.449 --> 00:03:58.490 Then we sing our beautiful song and they have no choice. 00:03:58.729 --> 00:04:00.330 Nelaphine: And then we eat them. 00:04:01.210 --> 00:04:03.561 Baba Lysaga: So are most of the sailors you 00:04:03.585 --> 00:04:06.330 kill pretty generic or do they do any stand out? 00:04:06.889 --> 00:04:10.927 Nelaphine: We had a cleric of Saint Cuthbert come 00:04:10.951 --> 00:04:14.990 by once. He said he was on a holy mission to bury 00:04:15.014 --> 00:04:18.969 the missionaries in the shipwreck. So he asked 00:04:18.993 --> 00:04:22.949 us for help for burying the people in the wreck. 00:04:23.750 --> 00:04:27.978 Zerera: Imagine the gall. Us majestic creatures of 00:04:28.002 --> 00:04:32.230 the sky. He wanted us to dig in the dirt like rabble. 00:04:32.870 --> 00:04:38.949 Nelaphine: We let him dive down and get a body. Then we ate both of them. 00:04:39.829 --> 00:04:43.990 Zerera: The dead one was starting to turn. Got a lot of blood out of him, though. 00:04:45.199 --> 00:04:47.680 Baba Lysaga: Where were you before you lived next to the shipwreck? 00:04:47.759 --> 00:04:49.828 Zerera: Well, we were near the Emerald Crater 00:04:49.852 --> 00:04:51.920 for some time. You know, eating firenewts. 00:04:52.560 --> 00:04:56.800 Nelaphine: We were eking out an existence. Hungry most of the time. 00:04:57.920 --> 00:05:00.715 Zerera: We were unsatisfied with the amount of treasure 00:05:00.739 --> 00:05:03.533 we could find near the Emerald Crater. There was a recent 00:05:03.557 --> 00:05:06.327 explosion and most of the treasure had been melted. So 00:05:06.351 --> 00:05:09.120 we packed our things and headed for the northern coast. 00:05:09.600 --> 00:05:12.959 Baba Lysaga: Are you going to keep looking for treasure or have you settled down? 00:05:13.920 --> 00:05:19.508 Nelaphine: We're pretty happy. We have plenty of gold to enjoy and there's 00:05:19.532 --> 00:05:25.120 a steady supply of sailors. We sing our song and they come to their doom. 00:05:25.279 --> 00:05:28.720 Baba Lysaga: You keep talking about the song. I've got to hear it. 00:05:29.120 --> 00:05:34.879 Zerera: Oh, what a fantastic idea. So many listeners will be drawn to us. 00:05:35.360 --> 00:05:36.560 Nelaphine: Let's do it. 00:05:38.399 --> 00:05:44.357 Both: [singing] Oh, we made nests we live close to the sea. Harpies ambush! 00:05:44.381 --> 00:05:50.219 We beauties collect your gold, give it for free. 00:05:50.243 --> 00:05:56.315 Harpies ambush. If our soggy boobs are a thing that 00:05:56.339 --> 00:06:03.019 you wish. Harpies ambush. We'll lure you to your death. 00:06:03.019 --> 00:06:04.459 Your blood is delish. 00:06:04.939 --> 00:06:15.420 Both: Harpies ambush. Harpies ambush. Harpies ambush. Harpies ambush!!! 00:06:19.899 --> 00:06:23.180 Baba Lysaga: What a thing of beauty. Let's end there. 00:06:25.180 --> 00:06:30.413 Acererak: If you enjoyed my monster interview show, you could 00:06:30.437 --> 00:06:35.669 share it with a friend. Or you could subscribe to my wizardly 00:06:35.693 --> 00:06:40.835 channel. Or you could leave us a review. Or you could do all 00:06:40.859 --> 00:06:46.699 three. Soon the evil we create together shall span the multiverse.